


BLANK

by CarrierofHeartbreak



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Absurd, Alternate Universe, Bittersweet, Character Death, Comedy, Drama, Dramedy, Explicit Language, F/M, First Person, Friendship, Human, Humans in Equestria (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Major Original Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), On Hiatus, POV First Person, Romantic Comedy, Sad, Sexual Humor, Silly, Superpowers, Sweet, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 199,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27762883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarrierofHeartbreak/pseuds/CarrierofHeartbreak
Summary: A dying young man discovers that his life may not be what he thought it was, and the seemingly innocent TV show he watches in his hospital room may be more real than he is.
Relationships: Princess Luna/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 3





	1. S1E1: Slipping Away

**Author's Note:**

> BLANK has been on hiatus since 2016. I am not sure if I plan to continue, but I'd thought I post this for anyone who might want to read through my first longer fic.

__

_"Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep."_

_"Say Beep_ one _more time."_

_"Beep?"_

SMACK

"Pfft! Haheheheh~" I snorted, my hand lifting to cover my mouth, in case my laughter started another coughing fit. On the TV screen, I could see Dan's face popping back out after having been punched into itself. Next to me, I could hear a soft giggling coming from the warm lump that took up the left side of my hospital bed.

After my laughter subsided, I looked over fondly at Sarah, who was now leaning gently against me, her eyes closed and a couple mirthful tears running down her face. I smiled a bit, happy to see her laughing this hard again. My eyes narrowed as a mischievous thought popped into my head. My head swiveled so I could better hear my heart monitor beeping lazily in the background. I licked my lips once before grinning in Sarah's direction.

"Beep."

Sarah took noticed of what I had just said, her laughter dying out instantly. She gave me a deadpan look and frowned. I stared into her eyes, my grin growing slightly.

"Beep."

Her eyes now narrowed as she stared at me. I continued to smile, waiting to see what she would do. Off to the other side of the room, _Dan Vs._ continued to play, even without our attention. Sarah's lip twitched a bit, but otherwise she sat perfectly motionless, looking at me. _Daring_ me to say it again.

"Be-"

"Ryan, I swear to _God_ I'll end you if you say that one more time," she spat out, giving me a harsh glance. To anyone else, her supposed hostility might have been frightening. But to me, I know how badly she wanted to crack up again. She was just going along with the joke. In response to her dare, I sat there, still grinning madly. The room was silent as our standoff continued.

Then I _dared_.

"BEEP!" I shouted at her, catching her by surprise. Her eyes widened at the sudden sensory overload and she sputtered a bit before giving me the harshest glare I'd seen from her since earlier that day. Her mouth, however, betrayed her by spreading into a large smile and letting out a few angry laughs.

 _"GODDAMN IT, RYAN!"_ she shouted at me. Before I could say anything in response, her arm shot out, her fist giving me a good shove. Normally, she didn't have enough power or weight behind her to make me budge. In my current state, however, her light shove was almost enough to knock me over. I was very aware of my weakened body, but tried my hardest to not think about it. Depression was something I wanted to make sure stayed _very_ far away from my mind. The _last_ thing I needed was for my brain to shut down, too.

Sarah noticed the pained grimace I had tried to hide. Her expression fell immediately and she shot forward, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. I wasn't sure the hug was to keep me upright or to comfort me, but I shared her embrace all the same.

"Sorry sorry sorry sorry! I forgot, Ry!" she quickly mumbled into my chest. Her arms tightened even more around me, almost hurting. I pushed the pain away and patted her back to get her attention. She looked up at me slowly, her eyes already misty with developing tears. I hated seeing her cry. Too much of it had been going on lately. I wanted laughing Sarah back.

"It's fine, Sare Bear, I'm fine," I assured her, my hand reaching up to her head. She closed her eyes when she felt my fingers running gently through her dirty blonde hair. Of all the ways I knew to calm her down, this was the quickest. A simple head rub shouldn't give me this much power over another person, but here I am. Mwahaha.

"Still, I have to be more careful..." she whined, opening her eyes again. A sigh left my lips. I hated being so fragile that even a shove could hurt me. Yet I knew I couldn't really risk falling to the floor; I would have no way of getting back up again. The numbness in my legs reminded me of that every day.

"Bear, I'd _rather_ you treat me more like normal and risk getting hurt, honestly..." I whispered close to her, my eyes locked on the wall on the far side of the room. Her body went rigid, and I could almost feel the stern look she was giving me. Over the two years we were together for, I learned what could set her off. Downplaying the severity of situations was not one of them, but downplaying me being hurt was. Sarah had a bit of a temper, and was sometimes quite the jealous little bugger. She was very much like my little sister Emily. This was not always a good thing. Two sparks fighting over a wick sometimes leads to bombs going off.

I could tell this situation was stressing her to no end. Usually, if something was hurting me, she would just punch whatever it was in the face. But how do you punch an infection? Something that was inside my body was killing me, and Sarah couldn't do a damn thing about it. Her self-proclaimed position as my guardian was being threatened by something she couldn't even see.

Despite her body language telling me she wanted to sock me in the jaw for what I said, she remained quiet. This scared me a bit. Sarah was many things. Violent, funny, caring, short-tempered, touchy, sexy, perceptive, sexy...okay maybe a few more sexy's added to that list. But _quiet_ was something she was not. Between her inability to say anything lower than a loud whisper and her favoring her lung guns over the nurse call button, I could barely imagine her remaining quiet over something this serious. But there she sat, still leaning against me with not even a sigh escaping her trembling lips. Wait...trembling...? No, please don't be crying, please don't cry...please-

"R-Ry..." she choked out. God _damnit_. Not Sarah. She's too strong to cry. She doesn't get sad, she punches sadness right in the dick!

I looked down at her, flinching when my eyes caught sight of the wet trails that ran down her face. Everything that had happened so far, I could handle. Getting sick, fine. No known cure for my mysterious infection, no problem. Going to die, probably in pain? Meh. The loss of movement in my legs was even okay, as long as I had my parents, Emily and Sarah by my side to help me out. Sarah crying, however...now I could see just how badly my condition was affecting everyone I loved. My parents probably just stayed strong long enough to see me each day. Emily was probably the same way. Did they all cry after they left? No...I didn't want to be the cause of so much misery, especially to my loved ones. My parents should be focused on sports and stock trading, maybe saving money for retirement. Emily should be worried about a boyfriend or something, I don't know. I don't think Emily functions like other girls. But still. And Sarah...she should be with me, in our cabin in the woods, gathering our food for the weekend. Not crying over me like a dog owner waiting for their sick puppy to expire.

My thoughts went to another dark place that I had so far refused to think about. _Money_. I didn't make much selling shoes, but our food was covered by our gathering each week in the woods. My job was decent enough, but the pay and benefits...this condition had to be gathering quite the impressive hospital bill. I knew I would probably not live to see it myself, but that meant I would leave it with everyone that was already struggling emotionally with all of this. And here I am, making them struggle financially just to top it off. Ain't I the best?

"Ryan?" she spoke, clearly this time. She was looking up at me, a worried look in her eyes. I realized I hadn't responded to her. I knew she could still hear the heart monitor, but that probably didn't stop her from worrying about me...well, passing away suddenly. My infection was too mysterious to know exactly how it would proceed. For all we knew, it could kill me without warning. Just, bleh, dead and gone.

"I'm here, Sarah, just thinking," I responded softly. She was trembling again, this time in hopeful relief. Again, I reached up and started playing with her hair. This sucked. I hate drama, I hate not knowing what was going to happen, and I hate hurting so many others. I just wanted to laugh with her again. That was great, wasn't it? Yeah, let's do that. I looked up at the television, dismayed to see the credits for _Dan Vs._ playing next to an animated advert for the next show. Something colorful and pink, maybe. I don't know, my eyes were too misty to make it out too well. I rubbed Sarah's shoulder to get her attention and nodded my head in the direction of the TV. "What's on next? I think Dan's over."

She sniffed and rubbed her face with her sleeve, seemingly happy to be out of that sad cloud that was hanging over us like the plague. After removing the salty sorrow stains from her cheeks, she glanced up at the TV. Immediately, she groaned and put her face back in her hands. This was not a bad sign as much as it was confusing.

"Um...?" I inquired, tilting my head to the side. "What is it?"

"Just listen," she groaned louder, her voice being followed by a feminine harp sound as the next show's theme started. I lifted one eyebrow and looked up at the TV to see something _far_ more pink and purple than I could stomach right now.

_"My Little Pony~ My Little Pony~ Ahh Ahh Ahhahhh~"_

It was now my turn to groan and cover my eyes with my hands. Too. Much. Happy. I wanted slapstick and some satire. Why couldn't there just be a _Dan Vs._ marathon on or something? But no, my room was now dancing with colors too bright for the healthy iris. I could almost feel the shadows of the evening sky being rudely awakened by the light show currently being shat out of my television set.

"Um, yeah, no thank you," I sighed. Sarah took this as me giving her permission to shoot up out of my bed and rush over to the wall with the TV on it. With the way she smacked the power button, I was surprised she didn't break the damn thing. Well okay then. No ponies for Sarah, easy enough. She returned to my bed just as I slid into the warm spot where she had been sitting. I gave her a sly grin. "Sorry, seat's taken, please find another."

She got a knowing look on her face and grinned back. Oh shit. Her strutting around to me didn't make me feel any safer.

"Oh, really? Well then~ What if I sit...here?~" she teased, plopping her tush right down on my lap. My face grew red immediately and I tried to keep the blood in my head, away from my pelvis. The last two months without any kind of attention was _not_ helping in that regard.

"I...I need an adult..." I choked out, giving her the best I'm-too-innocent-to-know-what's-going-on look. She smirked again, further grinding her booty into my hips.

"Oh, hun~" she whispered, leaning closer. "I _am_ an adult!"

My mock expression grew horrified and I pretended to struggle for anything else to say other than "OH SHIT!"

Unfortunately, my body decided that my moment with Sarah was causing me too much happiness, and I needed to be punished for my blasphemy. Just as I was about to get the first hint-hint-nudge-nudge attention in all the weeks I've been bedridden, the pain came back. And boy, did it come back with a fucking _vengeance_.

It started at my toes, which I had all but forgotten I had. Why did I only have feeling in them during the quakes? The muscles all the way up to my neck started expanding and contracting violently, causing me to sputter and drool. Sarah took immediate attention to me and screamed something. I was in too much pain at the time to decipher her words. I became aware that another voice joined in with her screaming. Was somebody else in the room with her?...oh, that's me. It was the weirdest feeling, having your lungs screaming out without telling them to do so. My eyes rolled up into my head, so I could no longer see my girlfriend. However, I could just barely hear her frantic footsteps running around to the other side of my bed.

What was that clicking noise? Well damn, Sarah finally decided that the nurse call button was a thing. I would have tried to sarcastically congratulate her if my body wasn't currently losing its shit. Okay, now why was my bed shaking? Hmm...okay, that's me again. I was expecting convulsions as some point, but whoa. My skeleton was trying to separate itself from the rest of me for some reason. Ouch. Ouch. FUCKING OUCH.

I was vaguely aware of Sarah shaking me, her wailing mouth right next to my ear. Pretty sure that if she was any farther away, my own screaming would have drowned hers out. My brain, probably due to the frying it was currently going through, was busy trying to find something funny to say to calm everyone down. I wasn't surprised as different internet jokes popped into my head. I didn't really handle stressful situations, per se, I just kind of laughed despite them in an attempt to ignore them. This was no different, apparently. Remember that Beep scene from _Dan Vs._? That was pretty funny, wasn't it? I want to watch that again. Maybe then Sarah could laugh...

More footsteps sounded around my bed. Were these mine too? Nope? Good, I hope I'm not walking around right now. Especially since my legs are all but fucking useless right now. The light, barely seen since my eyes were currently staring at something somewhere around my frontal lobe, increased to its full brightness. I guess the doctors had arrived, then. Good, get Sarah out of here. I don't want her to see me die if this is truly it. That would just wreck her...seeing the one she swore to fight for pass away in front of her eyes.

I became aware of the darkness growing. Were the doctors turning the lights off? No, I could still feel then all around me. They wouldn't work in the dark. The sun setting? Well yeah, but not that fast. Oh, that's what it was. The sleep juice I loved oh so much. They were absolutely pumping me with it in an attempt to calm my body. Finally, I could sleep...I just hope I would wake up again. Well, goodnight Sarah. Goodnight doctors and Hellooooo nurse. Or some shit like that, I don't know, let me go to sleeee...

****

I blinked awake, feeling strange. But I was used to strange. Strange had become my well known enemy, and almost-friend. Familiar enough to make a joke with, but I hated its guts sometimes. This morning, however, strange brought a friend to visit. Apparently it assumed I would enjoy _pain_ as company. This new pain was confusing, though. It was the same kind of pain I felt during the quakes, but toned down a bit. This did not make it any better though. Normally, the pain stopped once the quake was over. Now it was here to stay. My whole body felt like that feeling you get when you have to take a giant shit but you can't for another hour, no options. Yeah, that hell. Now imagine that feeling occurring in your arms, legs, head, stomach, dick, etc. I needed to take a body shit but that was nonsense. I also noticed something that scared me to my very core.

 _I couldn't fucking move_.

Not just my legs this time. My upper half was now in the same condition, even my...oh wait, I could move my head. My neck also functioned like normal. They still felt like shit, but they could at least move. However, the sudden neck movements made the insides of my dried out throat scratch together, triggering a very violent series of coughs. Almost immediately after my coughing, I heard movement around me.

"Ryan!" I heard another very familiar voice say. There was no mistaking that voice's level of ownership and authority. Goddamn Emily. Now don't think I thought bad about her or anything. I loved her as much as any brother could love his sister. Sure, her protectiveness over me was a bit weird, but I also found it hilarious sometimes. So, naturally I played along with the joke. I belonged to Emily, and only through her mercy did she allow Sarah to _borrow_ me. Like a rental or something. Stranger even, Emily liked it when I put it like that. She said I was too nice to watch over myself, so she would do it.

Anyway, Emily. She was now latched to me, her eyes red and puffy. Oh crap, I made her sad. And Sarah...the way she screamed finally entered my head. I did not want to relive that sound again, but there it was, echoing like a broken record in front of a megaphone inside of a metal room with no carpeting. It was haunting to say the least.

"H-hey...Em..." I choked, the dryness of my poor throat making another appearance. Emily quickly leaned over and grabbed a glass of water that I suspect a doctor left, complete with a convenient little bendy straw. I smiled as best I could and took the straw in my chapped lips. The feeling I got when that beautiful Hydrogen Hydrogen Oxygen hit my tongue was just...awesome. And when it soothed my dry throat...I might have gotten aroused, if it didn't feel like my dick needed to shit at the time. I didn't stop drinking until the water was gone and the tip of my straw made annoying slurping noises at the bottom of the glass. Well, to be honest, I kept making sippy noises until Emily got annoyed and took my straw away from me. Party pooper.

"Oh my god, Ryan, it's a straw. No more," she complained, putting the glass back where she found it. I gave her a weak smirk and rolled my eyes. If I had to energy, I'm sure I could goad her into one of our famous arguments, in which I would jokingly try to keep her fighting until she either realized what I was doing or someone else told us to can it. This time, however, I just didn't have it in me.

"Yeah, yeah, I've done worse with less," I countered. She nodded, smirking back.

"No kidding. I swear you need a leash sometimes, Ryan," she sighed, giving me a disappointed stare. I laughed, causing her to tilt her head, unsure about my next words.

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" I teased. Her face immediately got one of those Grr-I'm-angry-but-also-embarrassed looks. Ha, got her again. Not like teasing her with incest jokes in public was my go-to strategy, but here it worked.

"Are you shitting me with this? Again?" her hand met her face in what could only be described as an epic facepalm. The way she slouched over in that instant gave me my first view of our parents, both asleep against each other in the chairs along the wall. I instantly ceased all assholery and sobered up. My situation was right here, right now and I needed to know how everyone was doing, including myself.

"How are they? How are you?" I asked softly, trying to crane my neck up to see past the rest of Emily's back. She noticed my swift change in attitude and looked up at me again, this time with a almost-hidden worry written across her face.

"They're...kinda okay," she muttered, turning around just enough so that she could see them in her peripheral vision. Mom was snoring slightly and dad looked barely asleep. Another pang of guilt went through me again. These poor people, always worried about me and spending money to keep me alive for as long as the doctors could manage. And here I am just getting worse like some sort of ungrateful douche. I know, I know, not my fault and whatever. I still felt bad no matter what I told myself. These people raised me and provided for me until the day I went off with Sarah into the woods to build our new house together. We still kept in very close touch however...and maybe that's what made me feel the tiniest bit better about this whole situation. At least I always let them know I appreciated what they had done for me. So that when I'm six feet under, they won't be thinking about all the times I had hated them or something. I wasn't the smartest during my teenage years, but I still loved the shit out of my family.

Family...again with the dark thoughts. My brain decided it would be a good time to remind me about the multiple discussions I had with Sarah regarding names...for future children. That I could no longer hope to see or even create. I was ruined. Did my dick even function anymore? Who knows.

"Ryan, you're doing it again," came Emily's voice, firmly ripping me from my self-pity. Whew.

"Thanks Em...I hate getting like that...can't help it sometimes, you know?" I reasoned, looking at her. My neck was getting tired from holding my head up so I rested it back down against my pillow. Emily nodded to me, but I could only see the top of her head move. The rest of her was too far to the side to see.

"Yeah...anyway, I'm doing okay, too. At least, better than them..." she motioned towards Mom and Dad with her head. Hearing that made me feel a tiny bit better. Emily was strong, even if she cried. I could almost bet that she only cried after she got done comforting our parents.

Ugh, I have to stop thinking crying is a form of weakness. That's a dick thought, bad brain.

Just then, a knock came from somewhere outside where I could see. Though I didn't need my vision to know it was one of the doctors looking after me. Nobody else I knew knocked.

"I'm awake," I announced, before Emily could say it for me. She flicked the side of my head rather painfully, not doing anything to stop the not-so-dull ache that was consuming my body. Okay, I don't think saying that I was awake was worthy of a head flick. Oh, yeah, I did make another incest joke before, so I guess I deserved one at some point. Fair enough.

"Ah, good. What hurts, Mr. Burbank?" the doctor said, his footsteps signaling his approach to my side. This statement struck me as odd. Not 'How are you feeling?' or 'Good morning!'. No, what I got was 'What hurts?'. He must know I was going to be hurting something bad. Well, unfortunately, my mouth moved before my brain considered a nicer way to put my current pain other than-

"I need to take a body shit," came out of my mouth. Fucking hell, brain, catch up. The doctor was now looking down at me, blinking in some kind of surprised confusion. Emily groaned and stuck her face again with her palm.

"Oookay then, Mr. Burbank," he said cautiously, moving a step closer. I gave him an awkward smile through the pain my body was now in. He gave a knowing frown and looked down at the notepad he was carrying. My eyes wandered to it. Those notes...he must knows what's going on now. He sighed and looked over at Emily. My gaze followed and I saw her just in time to see her shake her head gently. What?

"I didn't...he just woke up," she almost whispered, now looking away from the doctor. He nodded once and looked back down at his notepad. Oh shit, what didn't she do?

"Mr. Bur...Ryan," the doctor said. I blinked once. None of the doctors liked referring to me by my first name. "I'm not really sure how to say this, but I'm sure you're already feeling it." Oh. Oh no. This doesn't sound good. Can it be good news hidden by a sad face to make the good news even better? Please?

"Well...it appears that your most recent episode has spread the infection much higher and much quicker than we thought it would," he said calmly, but with a sense of finality. Like he was reading my goddamn obituary already.

"And?" I asked cautiously. I think I already knew what he meant, but I wanted to hear it from something other than my paranoid mind.

"You are now paralyzed from the neck down. The same thing that happened with your legs has happened with your torso," he said bluntly. I got the feeling he was trying to pretend he wasn't really there, and was just watching someone else's life play out. I would know; I had been doing it quite a lot at that point.

I guess I took that news better than I should have, considering I could already feel what he was talking about when I woke up. No movement, no control, just aches and pains. Nerves, why you do this? The humorous side of me must have showed up to halt my impending breakdown, because it chose that moment to make me say the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

"Hey, doctor, ever hear the story about the asparagus plants?" I asked in a deadpan tone. Emily shot into view immediately, her hand covering my mouth. A look absolute horror was written across her face. The doctor only gave a questioning look and raised an eyebrow. Before Emily could stop him, he responded.

"Um, no, I don't think so," he replied. Emily's eyes zoomed up into his in the most murderous glare I've ever seen. It was enough to make the doctor flinch and take a step back. She very slowly mouthed 'Shut. The. Fuck. Up.' at him. He swallowed once and nodded, turning around to leave the scene before Emily castrated him or something. Before he could leave, I decided to give him the summary as fast as I could while my sister was distracted.

"There were three asparagus plants with very short legs that couldn't run fast enough across the road and one got hit by a car and in the hospital his friends were told that he would be a vegetable for the rest of his life just like me!" I shouted loudly, causing both our parents to awaken in a fright. Emily turned her eyes towards me in exasperation. I smirked at her in triumph. Another human bows down to the mighty power of the asparagus plants. She simply shook her head and leaned back into her chair, plowing her face into her hands and letting out the loudest groan I had ever heard.

"Ryan...?" I heard my mom choke out. No, please, no more crying...be happy please! I just told the asparagus plant joke at the speed of goddamn light, please laugh Mom! However, she couldn't hear my mental pleas and rushed over to my bed and covered my face in mother kisses. Fresh tears were running down the stains of the old ones. I sighed again. I just wanted the sad to stop. She was a woman meant to laugh, not cry in misery each day of her life.

I gave her the best kiss I could while not being able to move more than my neck and head. Dad walked next to her, looking conflicted. He didn't look to have cried yet, but I know Dad. He was always in and out of the hospital and was always joking about how he would be the first to go. Having one foreign kidney tends to do that to a man. Those kidney medicines cause all kinds of fucking cancer. But here he was, sitting next to his dying 20-year-old son. I just don't think he knew how to handle it. He was always the one being comforted, not the other way around. He didn't know what to say or do.

Still, I gave him a smile and a nod to let him know that I knew what he wanted to say. He smiled back at me for a moment before looking down at Mom.

"Hey Mom, nice bed, huh?" I asked, nodding my head towards the visitor's chairs lined against the wall. She managed a laugh through her trembling. She wiped her face clean of both old and new tears and looked down at me fondly. I could tell she was thankful for my humor.

"Yeeaaah, five stars for sure," she chuckled, looking over at the stained chair. Dad smiled too, twisting and giving his back a loud crack. That told me all I needed to know. My back was currently on my pain list as well.

Before I could get any more jokes out, my parents grew somber once again. Shit, all that work for nothing. They looked between themselves, Emily, and my broken body under the sheets.

"Did they tell you?" Mom asked me quietly. I nodded once. She looked down before continuing. "So...how are you doing?" I almost said the body shit thing again, but Emily gave me a firm stare that let me know this was time for serious. Okay, fine, demon sister.

"It...hurts all over," I began. "When my legs were numb, that was okay. Now everything...hurts." Mom's hand reached up and planted itself on my hair, her fingers sliding through my brown head fuzz. Ohh, this was nice...no, NO! This was Sarah's weakness, not mine! I'm not...oh, that's gooood. Almost enough to make me forget about the pain shooting through my head.

"My baby..." she whispered soothingly. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to relax. The calm expression that resided on my face seemed to be cheering Mom up some. Dad sat down at the end of my bed and placed his hand on my leg, patting it lightly. I only let out the faintest traces of a frown from the pain shooting up my leg. The feeling of support outweighed the pain, though. At least in my mind. At the other side of me I could feel Emily pressing herself against my side once again, completing the circle of family. Now all I needed was...

"Hey, where's Sarah?" I asked, looking around. I know she couldn't be at the hospital all the time, but I still wanted to know if she was okay or not. But to my confusion, they all looked around in discomfort. Like they were trying to avoid telling me about something. I looked towards Emily but she turned away. Dad was looking at the TV in assumed interest. It might have worked if the damn thing was even turned on. I finally looked towards Mom, giving her a pleading look. I _needed_ to know what was going on with Sarah. Oh god, please don't tell me she got depressed and hurt her...no, she wouldn't do that. She'd sooner punch herself in her non-existent dick.

Mom sighed sadly and cupped her hand around my cheek. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit shit shit-

"Sarah...she said she couldn't take it, Ryan," she choked out another sob. Fuck no, this was not happening. My own demise I could stomach, as long as everyone else made it out okay. Sarah was too strong for this shit. She couldn't have...

"Where is she? Mom, is Sarah okay? What happened?" I sputtered out all at once, trying to move my body frantically. Alas, I was still as immobile as the fucking asparagus. She seemed to understand what I was assuming and waved her hands quickly aside.

"Oh, no no no! She's fine, Ryan! She's back at your cabin, resting," she said quickly. The ringing that I didn't even realize I was hearing faded away and I let out a large sigh of relief. Thank god...I don't think I would make it more than a few minutes knowing that I caused Sarah to do something like that...

"But..." Mom continued. I looked up, confused. What else was there? "She said..." God damn it, Mom, just say it already. She looked to the side, figuring out exactly what to say. When nothing came to mind, she just spoke.

"She said she can't visit anymore, Ryan," she said softly. "They had to restart your heart last night, Ryan...in front of her. I tried getting her to come over, but all she said was...'I can't.'"

I froze. She was...leaving me alone. Letting me go. The previous ringing came back for a few moments while I pondered the weight of what she just said. I had put Sarah through so much that she couldn't take it anymore...and left. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and run to our cabin and get her back.

I was brought out of my funk by Dad, who simply said, "I know." I looked at him for a second before I realized something: Dad had gone through the same thing during the time when both of his kidneys shut down. His girlfriend at the time just couldn't take watching him die and left. Dad said he didn't blame her. What was his reasoning again? Oh, right...he couldn't ask any person to take on that kind of weight for him against their will. I guessed I agreed. Sarah was an amazing person and being around me must have been tearing her apart. I wanted her to be happy, and if that meant trying to move on, I wouldn't stop her. I guess...I could never blame her either. And even better, I left the girl I loved a nice home to live in, and I knew my family would be there for her too. At least, I hoped.

"Could you...take care of her after?" I asked my family gently. They looked at me for a few moments before fully understanding what I was asking them. Before I could say anything to calm down, Mom and Emily were in tears and hugging me. Dad sat almost motionless, rubbing my leg again. But the motion that all of them shared was the thing that made me finally break down and share in their sobbing: they were all three gently nodding their acceptance of my last request.

"Thanks, guys..." I choked out, ignoring the searing pain my family was causing with their hugs. I could only have so many more hugs, I wasn't going to let my aches short change me of a single one.

It was then, surrounded by my family's love and support, that I fell asleep once again.

****

I awoke to a mostly dark room. The inside was empty, my family having gone home to catch up on their rest after knowing I was stable for now. I yawned, the ache reappearing once again. Ugh, motherfucker. Just leave me alone. What did I ever do to you? I then looked up at the only source of light in the room: the television set. On it, even through bleary eyes, I could see familiar pinks and purples adoring the screen. Are you shitting me, little cartoon horses? Just had to wait until I was a vegetable, huh? Well, I guess it makes sense, them being herbivores and all. Don't eat me, horsies, I'm not that kind of vegetable! Heh.

I sighed and looked on, watching anyway. Too broken to move and change the channel, too tired to call for someone to do it for me. It seemed to bother Sarah for some reason, but now that I wasn't sitting through that damned opening song, it didn't seem all that bad. Couldn't be any worse than that fucking Teen Titans reboot. Ugh, _that_ was a travesty.

On the screen, some blue winged horsie was in the hospital. Ditto, gay pride horse, ditto. Speaking of which, what was up with her hair? Dying your horse's hair all the colors of the damn rainbow couldn't be healthy for them. I would have to reprimand her owner someday, beat some sense into him or something. Pfft, yeah, right. Me doing anything at all, that's hilarious, brain.

Anyway, she was currently trying to pass the time while waiting in the bed, with what looked to be broken wings. Ouch. Poor horsie. And now there were more small colorful horses surrounding her and...wait, some of those horses sound familiar...is that Tara Strong? Holy shit, she's in fucking _everything_! Fond memories of The Powerpuff Girls pop into my head. I miiiiight have to watch some more of this. Tara Strong can do no wrong, correct? Wait...Teen Titans reboot...eh, I'll ignore that for now. Onward to adventure, my colorful friends!

****

Well okay then. Color me impressed. As long as impressed isn't as bright a color as the characters I've been staring at for the last 2 hours. I don't know who left the TV on, but thanks. When I first heard the theme song, I was curious as to how a show with _Friendship is Magic_ in the goddamn title would be on the same network as _Dan Vs_. Luckily, the show had a much better sense of humor than I expected, and I found myself laughing quite often. I think I could relate most with Pinkie and Applejack. Pinkie was like me with her goals; keep those around you happy, or at least try your damn hardest to. Applejack was very close to her family, all except for her parents. I got the feeling they might have passed on. If that was the case, I found some solace in the way the whole Apple family came together to help and support each other despite their loss. My only hope would be that my family would be the same way after I...

This time, the tears came without a Mom or a Dad or an Emily to cry on. I was going to die. All the time I had spent planning for my future with (hopefully) Sarah was for naught. You know all those movies you see advertised on every TV station? I would live to see none of them. The hamster my sister had in her room was going to outlive me. That one really got to me. Little shit was the most annoying thing ever, yet my sister loved its guts. Wait, why did that bother me the most? I don't know, I'm fucking weird. Oh, wait.

Sarah. I didn't feel as sad anymore about her. She was already moving on. That kind of made me glad...she didn't deserve to be moping about something like this for the rest of her life. Sarah was the strongest person I knew. She would make it passed this easily...I hope. I don't want to be mourned like this. I just wanted everyone to be happy again, with or without me. And if I had to die for them to move on...

I hate when my mind starts going to these places. With nobody to pull me out, I've been known to daze for hours. But now, what exactly was I contemplating? I knew what it was, but the word left a bad taste in my mouth. The doctors had discussed it with me recently, away from my family, in the event I become stuck in pain with no end in sight and no hope for recovery. It was only made legal a few years back, as a means of mercy to those who couldn't escape their own bodies. And me, stuck with my aches as a vegetable...who says I have to wait for the next quake to turn me into a _true_ veggie? I could just stop it before the pain become too unbearable...before the pain killed me. It would all be over. No more being trapped inside myself. No more sitting here waiting to die. No more making everyone I loved miserable. I'm sure that my passing would make them more sad for a short while, before they realized how much pain I was in...it would be best for everyone involved.

It was during a particularly bad body ache that I closed my eyes and made my decision. I would discuss it with everybody first, but my mind was almost made up. I just wished...I could see Sarah one more time. Our last meeting consisted of her getting me hard and then us screaming while I convulsed. Not exactly the ideal last goodbye for the woman I loved...but she had already started moving on. I didn't want to be the one to pull her back into this cloud right after she had escaped. Her sanity might become questionable if I did that.

No, just family. I would tell them to, I don't know, tell her that I passed in my sleep peacefully. With what I wanted, that wouldn't be far from the truth. I was aware of the strong painkillers being squirted into me by my IV. Without them, I might have already been dead. They also kept me silly at most times, which helped my mind immensely. I was being kept alive with machines. That was something I told myself long ago that I never wanted to happen. I had been here too long already, I realized, dragging out my demise. It might have been better for everyone if I passed on weeks ago. They would have probably already stopped mourning by now if that had been the case...God damn it.

I needed to sleep on this. I would tell them tomorrow, but for now...I just let the painkillers in my system lull me into sleep while a tender moment between Applejack and her little sister, Apple Bloom, played out on the TV.

****

Well that went about just as well as I expected it to. Emily screaming and telling me she wouldn't let me go away. Mom sobbing hysterically while Dad embraced her, his own face stuck in a thousand-yard stare. I wanted to be more comforting to them, but that morning was the worst yet. The aches were so bad that my teeth chattered non-stop on their own. My mind wasn't fairing much better. It was as if the painkillers just fucking _stopped_. They were still there, but something was fighting them off. God damn shit fucking infection asshole, doing this to me. Hell, I didn't care about myself anymore. I just wanted the pained wails of my sister and mother to _fucking stop_. For it to just be the hell over. And when Emily and Mom looked at me after awhile of sobbing, they saw what I was going through. My mom stopped and just hugged Dad, and Emily looked at the far wall, little hiccups coming from her every few seconds.

They knew. I was going to die soon, and waiting any longer was just putting me through hell for no reason. There was no magical mystery cure coming for me, whatever this bacteria was had already done its job. My nerves were shot and the last stage was just shutting down. For the toll of all the pain to finally break my mind and turn me off completely.

The doctor walked back in, having previously left the room after explaining the procedure to my family. It was going to be simple, calm, and painless for me. That's all I wanted. No more pain for anyone. In the doctor's hand was a small tube of liquid. My fucking end.

My whole family eyed the liquid sadly, knowing exactly what it was. That was going to be the last thing that ever entered my body. I stopped my teeth chatters just long enough to stutter out, "I l-love...you guys."

That did it. My entire family latched to me again, sobbing loudly. I even heard Dad let out some choked sounds. I tried my hardest to cry with them, but the tears were already there from the aches. I could almost feel another set of convulsions coming on. No, I would not go out by the infection's terms. I would not go out screaming with my eyes rolled back, my body jerking every which way. I would go peacefully, with my family hugging me from all directions. The doctor watched us sadly. This must have been a terrible sight to live with for someone not even involved. Shit, another person I was hurting with this.

"I just got all the papers filed away, along with your will, Mr. Burbank," he said softly, placing the rest of the stuff he was carrying down on my bedside table, except for the...tube. "Are you all ready?"

Mom, Dad and Emily hugged me extra tightly. Shit, it hurt but I fucking loved it. This was going to be it, my family right there with me to lead me into the dark. I really couldn't ask for better way to go. Better context, sure, but this setup was perfect. If only Sarah...

My family all gave me one last kiss on my cheek before resuming their hugging positions. And then they nodded. Holy shit, this was actually happening. I wanted to almost freak out, but their embrace let me know...it was going to be okay.

And with that, I nodded. The doctor looked at us once more before nodding and looking down to the liquid. I looked around at the lovely people who surrounded me, smiling one last time to them. They smiled back, though through tears. Outside of my vision, I could feel the doctor fiddling around with my IV for a few moments before going still. Okay, it must be coming in now. Wooooo this stuff is stroooong~

Behind everyone, I spotted the TV on, playing the same episodes of _My Little Pony_ as yesterday. Who the hell turned it on again? And yesterday, for that matter? Oh yeah, goddamn Emily. She must have liked the show too. Well looky looky. Something we have in common, fucking finally. I guess she might has well been my little Apple Bloom, watching over her Big Mac. Heh.

My vision started to narrow. The TV, being at the center of my sight at the time, felt like it was pulling me in. Weird, so this is what tunnel vision looks like. Wait...what the hell is that noise?

"Ryan!"

Wait, that sounds way too familiar. I was nearing the TV at this point, the screen pressing up against my consciousness. Fucking hell doctor, what did you kill me with? This is trippy as shit.

_"Ryan!"_

Okay, I'm not just imagining this shit. That voice. Is that...Tara Strong? What the hell is her voice doing in my dying hallucination? Go find your own deathbed, Tara. But she persisted.

"RYAN!"

FINE! Geez, I'm coming. Well it helps that the TV just sucked me in or some shit. Doesn't matter. I'm inside the colorful world now. Don't worry, Tara Strong's voice, I'm coooomiiiiiiing~

_Wooooooo~_

_*Exhale~*_

_*Silence*_

[Intro song I got as a gift years ago](https://youtu.be/1V474DXe9E8)


	2. S1E2: Star of the Show

"Wheeew! What a day!" sighed the pink earth pony happily. Containers of every baking ingredient known to pony kind littered the floor and counters around her. Numerous puddles of milk stained the floor, made pasty by the flour that congealed with them. Frosting of numerous colors painted a mosaic on the counter, telling the story of the possibly thousands of cupcakes and other confectioneries that had been made that day. Any other pony might have fallen from the sheer energy it took to speed around the kitchen at top speed for over twelve hours, doing as many as a dozen different things at the same time. A lesser pony might have even succumbed to the mess and gave themselves over to their new dark overlord, chocolate frosting.

But not Pinkie Pie. This is what she lived for, creating sweet treats for all the ponies of Ponyville. The smiles that her baked goods brought to her friends' faces could keep her motivated for...well, ever. And today was one of the absolute greatest bestest days for making sweets and making her friends smile! So many ponies looking for some goodies to go along with all the different viewing parties for tonight's episode! And here Pinkie was, just the perfect pony to help them out with those tumbly rumblies that came with parties! Oh, of course Pinkie was hosting one of her own as well. There was no way the premiere party pony in Ponyville was going to miss the opportunity to throw another one of her super famous parties! So even though Sugarcube Corner was now all but cleared out, Pinkie still had her own private stash of goodies hidden away for the party she was hosting for her friends tonight.

Pinkie sped around the room in a terrifying storm of pink fur, the spots she passed ending up cleaner than before she started baking that morning. It was over in a matter seconds, the kitchen was left sparkly clean, a faint lemony fresh scent hanging in the air. The pink pony looked over her work with a large smile, a small ' _squee_ ' sound coming from nowhere. Pinkie heard a cough behind her and turn to one of her bosses, Mrs. Cup Cake, standing in the kitchen doorway. The plump blue earth pony stood there in a silent shock, having just witness the pinknado of cleaning tear through her kitchen. It probably shouldn't have surprised her at that point, having had Pinkie in her employment for years. But she still couldn't quite process it when she saw it. It was just too...surreal.

Pinkie gave Mrs. Cake a large smile and bounced all over to the doorway to greet her. She noticed her boss was quite disheveled from the long day. Mr. Cake probably felt the same way. It wasn't every day that seemingly every pony in Ponyville stopped by to leave a large order. The empty glass display case was left of proof of the emptiness the bakery was currently experiencing.

"Wow, we really got cleaned out, huh?" Pinkie giggled, snapping Mrs. Cake out of her stupor. The pink-maned blue earth pony shook her head and smiled weakly at her employee.

"No kidding, dear. Why, we might have to stay closed tomorrow so Carrot and I can restock our supply of...well, everything," Cup Cake sighed, wiping her face with her foreleg. Pinkie retained her smile and nodded, some chocolate chips falling from her poofy mane and towards the ground. Before they could touch the freshly cleaned floor, they were snagged by Pinkie's tongue as it shot from her mouth. Mrs. Cake's eye twitched once as she witness this, but she nodded and turned around. That was probably the best thing for her sanity at this point.

"That's probably fine, I'm sure everypony will be super tired from staying up so late tonight anyway!" Pinkie exclaimed. Her boss gave her a questioning look. Did Pinkie know the reason for the sudden mega-rush that they had been experiencing all day?

"So why did so many ponies need baked goods for tonight? And all at the same time? Is something going on?" Cup asked. Pinkie's smiled dropped and she let out a loud ' _Gasp!_ ' at her friend's obliviousness. Mrs. Cake flinched a little at Pinkie's sudden mood change. What, was something happening that she should have been aware of?

"Mrs. Cake, you don't know?!" Pinkie shouted, prompting her boss to take a step back. Loud Pinkie is not always best Pinkie. In response to her booming interrogation, Cup Cake shook her head softly. She really hadn't had much time to go out and get the news around town, owning a business and all. Pinkie had enough energy to work all day and socialize often, but the older mare was a full time businesspony and mother. She didn't have the time or energy to go out after everything else her day consisted of, spare her few vacations a year with her husband. Pinkie stared at her in disbelief for a few moments before explaining herself.

"Tonight's the season finale of _OtherWorld_!" she shouted, her legs waving in the air, not unlike a certain wacky-waving-inflatable-leg-flailing-tube-mare. Cup Cake blinked a few more times. Well that didn't explain as much as she hoped.

"And that is...?" she asked nervously. Whatever this _OtherWorld_ was, Pinkie sure was passionate about it. And if it was also was caused the massive day long baking frenzy, then many other ponies were just as passionate. Pinkie very dramatically sighed and facehoofed.

"Oh nothing, just the most super amazing gem show in like ever!" Exasperation was very obvious in Pinkie's voice at this point. Mrs. Cake let out a ' _Aha!_ ' at realizing that she knew something about those. Gem shows, magically enchanted to show images from a Unicorn's mind. They could be used to send messages too, but were often used to tell stories as a sort of visual/audio aid. With one of the enchanted gems, a Unicorn would just have to think the story, and it would appear from the gem as a very high definition projection. Of course, some ponies got the idea to turn this into a major money maker and developed a way for one gem to transfer the broadcast to as many other gems as they wanted. This effectively created Equestria's first system of mass entertainment. The Cakes owned one of these gem projectors, but usually just left it on to help distract her twins, Pound and Pumpkin, during the times that everyone in the bakery was busy. Pumpkin seemed to love anything bright and cheery, but Pound had been caught more than once trying to change the gem line to one that broadcast some underground fighting rings. _Way_ too violent for her innocent little boy.

"Okay, Pinkie, I know what those are. But, no, I've never heard of _OtherWorld_ ," she explained to her pink friend, who had still been waving her arms in the air, even in silence. Pinkie immediately stopped at this new information and smiled again, moving closer.

"Oh, it's so cool! It's a show about an entirely different world, with a family of strange bald monkeys that walk on two legs as the main characters!" she went off. Mrs. Cake understood what Pinkie was doing, so she tried tuning out all other senses in an effort to keep up with the excitable young mare. "Everything there is so different from Equestria! Like, those monkeys, or 'hoomans' I think they were called, are the only smart thing on the entire planet!" Mrs. Cake blinked at this.

"Wait...there are no ponies in this show?" she asked. Pinkie nodded, smiling widely again. "And the only characters are all some new fictional species...that must take a _lot_ of imagination." Pinkie nodded her head again wildly, starting to bounce once again.

"Oh, it's so cool! Well, okay, it's sad kinda, I mean the world is a lot meaner and more violent than here. But that's what makes it so much happier to watch the main family make it through all of that!" Pinkie started up again. "My favorite is the younger stal-erm, _man_ , in the show! He always does anything he can to keep his friends and family happy and laughing!" Cup Cake gave her a knowing smile at this.

"Sounds like a certain pink pony I know~" she sang gently. Pinkie gave her boss the largest smile of the night, followed by a small blush.

"Aww, you flatter me, Mrs. Cake," Pinkie said, flipping her hoof in a ' _Psh-aa_ ' motion. Cup smiled back at her as another question popped into her head.

"So is everypony watching tonight? Is something big happening during the season finale?" she asked innocently. Pinkie's smile suddenly dropped several octaves at this question, prompting a worried look from the blue mare.

"Yeah, kinda. The man I mentioned, his name is Ryan. And from what I've heard around town, he's not just my favorite," the pink pony explained. "It seems he's the most popular character on the show, everypony loves him!" Cupcake nodded her head, but was still unsure what caused the smile to fall from Pinkie's face.

"So what's happening, dear?" she asked, rubbing up against Pinkie in a comforting fashion. Pinkie's smile lifted at the worry her boss was showing her. It was truly a gift to have such a nice mare as an employer. Pinkie swallowed once before continuing. Whatever was happening on tonight's episode, it was really affecting poor Pinkie.

"Well...over the last few episodes, he got...really sick," she explained softly, her tone taking on one of deep concern and sadness. Mrs. Cake hated seeing Pinkie like this, but her reasoning reached Cup and held her attention. So that's why...poor Pinkie. Cup Cake wrapped her one leg around Pinkie's neck and gave her a comforting hug. The pink pony was pulled from her funk and smiled, hugging her boss back tightly.

"Thanks," she said happily. Her smile had returned somewhat. "I mean, Ryan's been through a lot, so I'm sure he'll pull through, especially with his family and marefriend there with him! But still...I hate seeing him hurt like that...he wants nothing but to make everybody happy, but he's stuck being the reason everypony around him is sad...I can't even imagine making my friends all cry and not being able to stop it!"

At this, Cup Cake knew why this was affecting her so much. Pinkie couldn't help but relate with the hooman that wanted his loved ones to laugh. And because of this relation, she had imagined herself in his place. A situation like the one she was describing would absolutely destroy Pinkie...not being able to make her friends laugh, only making them cry. That's...an awful thought. Mrs. Cake gave Pinkie another tight hug, letting her know it was okay. It was just a show, nopony was actually going through that. Pinkie smiled once again and wiped away the tears that were started to form.

"I'm not the only one worried," she said. "Everypony who's rooting for him...we're all hoping he gets better!" Determined Pinkie was definitely one of the best Pinkie's. As long as she wasn't determined to punish you for breaking a Pinkie Promise. _Shiver_. Mrs. Cake gave Pinkie one more squeeze before letting her go.

"I'm sure everything will be fine, dear. Why don't you go get ready, then? You could probably use a bath...or several," the businesspony laughed, eyeing Pinkie's coat of chocolate, vanilla, and...what even was that flavor? Purple?

"Thanks, Mrs. Cake! I'm meeting with the girls tonight at Sweet Apple Acres to watch! Already got my secret sweet stash made up! I think they were doing a larger showing for the ponies who didn't buy access to the gem line if you wanted to watch!" Pinkie said excitedly. Cup Cake smiled but shook her head.

"Would love to, dear, but I'm sure Carrot and I need sleep more than anything after today," she said kindly. Both mares looks over to the lanky yellow stallion currently asleep against the counter, a mop still clenched in his teeth. They both giggled at the sight and nodded to each other.

"Okie dokie lokie then, good night Cakes!" she sang, gathering her stuff and trotting towards the door. Mrs. Cake waved her goodbye as Pinkie disappeared out of the front door, the door giving off a little jingle as it closed. To Cup Cake's surprised, the bell was still intact, even after the amount of use it had gotten today.

****

"C'mon, Pinkie, hurry up!" said a raspy voice from the direction of the farm house window. Rainbow Dash was hovering there, impatiently staring outside and towards the dirt path leading to the house, waiting to see any sign of her poofy pink friend. Behind her came a sigh of annoyance.

"Dash, would 'ya quit foggin' up mah windahs? Ah jus cleaned 'em!" complained Applejack from the couch in the living room. Rainbow turned around, biting her lip. Her rainbow mane fell into her one eye, forcing her to flip it gently.

"She's not here yet and the show is starting soon! And I am **not** doing this without something to munch on!" Dash whined. She turned her face back towards the window, quickly steaming it. Applejack groaned and tipped her Stetson over he face in irritation.

"Well then grab a snack, silly! Don't want to miss the show!" came a bubbly voice from next to Applejack on the couch. Dash growled for a moment before it clicked. She turned slowly to stare at the pink mare on the couch next to a now-smirking Applejack. Pinkie was there, munching on a platter of cupcakes, her face already covered in frosting. Rainbow Dash froze when she spotted the snack table set up next to the couch, in easy reach of everypony. But...that table was not there a minute ago! And Pinkie had somehow got without using the door, and set up a table within a few seconds, and made no noise whatsoever, and...it's Pinkie.

"What," was all Dash said before she flew over next to the table, all but ignoring the antics of her pink friend. Pinkie and Applejack smiled at her innocently. Next to the Apple family couch sat an overly fancy red velvet couch belonging to Ponyville's very own fashionista, Rarity. She sat there, examining the gem she was working on, making sure everything was set up correctly. Pinkie looked around suddenly, her eyes darting around the room randomly.

"Hey, where's Twilight and Fluttershy?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Twilight's not going to be able to make it tonight, darling, said something about an important project coming up," Rarity answered, not breaking her concentration away from the gem. "That's why I'm taking it upon myself to use this gem to record this showing for her. I know how much she wanted to see it." Pinkie let out a disappointed sigh but nodded anyway.

"And Fluttershy?" she asked. A few moments after, a rustling sound came from under the snack table before Fluttershy poked her yellow nose out from under the draped tablecloth, her teal eyes gazing gently at Pinkie. The pink mare blinked for a second before letting out a giggle.

"What are you doing under there, silly?" she asked, holding her tummy as she laughed. Fluttershy moved her head out more until her light pink mane was visible, but kept the rest of her body under the veil of the table cloth.

"I was laying here...you put the table over me, but I kind of...like it under here," she whispered. Applejack and Rainbow took this opportunity to join in on Pinkie's laughter, while Rarity smiled while she worked.

A series of movements came from next to Fluttershy under the cloth, but she surprisingly didn't flinch. After a few seconds, three small heads poked out from the shadows and joined the yellow mare. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo formed a line at the base of the cloth along the floor with their heads. Fluttershy turned and smiled lovingly down at the three small fillies. Applejack smiled again, letting out a small relieved sigh.

"So that's where you fillies went. Was gettin' a might worried about 'ya," she said to the three small heads. They all smiled back at her, shifting slightly so that they could all get comfy under the table.

"We just came downstairs, actually," piped up Sweetie. "We saw Fluttershy's tail sticking out from under this table and wanted to see what she was doing." Fluttershy gave off a shy smile as her cheeks went as pink as her mane, her tail subconsciously flicking itself firmly under the shroud of shadow the cloth was providing.

"Yeah, it's really cool under here!" This time it was Scootaloo that had spoken up. "Totally hidden, like a ninja!" She threw her little leg out in a small punch that made Rainbow Dash smile widely. Apple Bloom had to shift once more, her large red bow getting caught by the sheet surrounding her head.

"Ah can't believe you're finally lettin' us watch too!" Applejack's younger sister exclaimed. "Oh this is gunna be so fuuuun!~" Applejack smirked down at her sister. It was hard not to smile at the sight of the four pony heads peaking out from under the table. It was just too adorable, even to the grown farm pony.

"Ah think you fillies can handle it," she started. "It ain't all that bad. Least, they don show the bad stuff, just imply it." At this, all three fillies let out a tiny cheer amongst themselves. They had been begging and pleading for weeks now, having been around the other fillies in their class that had been allowed to watch _OtherWorld_. It wasn't the easiest, seeing them brag about all the cool stuff their parents let them watch. And with something as new and cool as a gem show about a whole different planet with a different species fighting itself, everypony who was _anypony_ was watching. Up until now, the three fillies were refused access into the club by their older sisters. It was just too much for them to handle, they were told. The Crusaders were determined, however, and were well behaved for two whole weeks just so that could watch this episode, which they had heard was not to be missed.

They couldn't help but let out another cheer, just for the heck of it. They were going to get to watch this cool new show with their sisters! None of their classmates could tease them about not seeing it ever again! Woo!

Just as their cheer finished, Rarity got up from her couch and trotted over the the gem that sat in the middle of the floor, the pointed end facing towards a blank wall that they were all facing. The smaller gem that she had been working on was placed up against the larger gem and let off a tiny flicker as they touched. Rarity smiled in triumph.

"Allll done~" she sang, trotting her way back onto her couch daintily. "Just in time, too! Look!"

She was right, the larger gem was currently flickering as it connected to the gem line that was broadcasting the show that they had been all waiting for. Immediately they all settled in, Rainbow taking her seat with a big plate of snacks in her grasp. Rarity just settled with some tea and a cookie or three. Fluttershy didn't seem to have anything, but the smacks and crunches from the fillies next to her let everyone know that the Crusaders likely had a small stash hidden under the table with them. Pinkie continued with her cupcake platter and Applejack opted to just share with Rainbow Dash.

 _"Thank you for tuning into_ OtherWorld _. OW Production would like to thank_ GemShow _for supplying the method of telling this story,_ " came a soft, feminine voice. She sounded like she was reading from a sheet. " _Before we begin tonight's episode, we would like to remind you of the new_ GemShow _'SuperShow' gem, coming out this fall, with twice the definition and sound quality of the current top model-_ "

Everypony in the room groaned in irritation. A piece of popcorn flew through the projection, disrupting the image of the new _GemShow_ model for a moment.

"Get on with it!" shouted Scootaloo.

" **Yes, get on with it!** " shouted every other pony except for Rarity and Fluttershy. Those two merely gave the projection an unimpressed stare. Then, as the _GemShow_ advert ended, the show began.

****

Twilight sat in her bed, shivering nervously. Spike was asleep downstairs at her request, his soft snores still heard through the floor of her room. She would have to ignore it for now. Right now was time to watch her favorite show. Normally, she watched it with her best friends, but tonight's episode was different. The last few episodes had been spent building up the sickness of her favorite character, Ryan Burbank. And tonight was the season finale...this could all be leading up to something very bad, and she did _not_ want to do anything demeaning in front of her friends in case the _OtherWorld_ creators decided to go... _that_ route.

They couldn't. Not to Ryan. He was the absolute sweetest being on the show, he would never hurt anyone. Even worse, he had traits that reminded her of each one of her friends. Seeing him slowly break down in a hospital bed...she could imagine any one of her friends in that same position. She would be lost if she had to go through that. No, no...Ryan will be fine. He's like, the fan favorite on the show! They couldn't risk doing anything _that_ bad to him! Ponies would stop watching!

...Right?

Oh, who was she kidding? Nopony would stop. It's just so amazing that a pony could have that level of imagination to create an entirely new world in their head, populate it with new flora, fauna, etc. If only it were all real...she would study **all** of it.

The sound of her new _GemShow_ 'SuperShow' humming to life caught her attention. Yeah, apparently princesses got the new models before they were even available to the public. Normally, she wouldn't want to accept such a gift, but it would be something she would use to watch her favorite show...it really was an awesome piece of magic and craftsmanship.

The projection started, and by Celestia was that picture _clear_. It was at least twice the clarity of her last model, the _GemShow_ 'View II'. Her 'View II' model was currently with her friends at Sweet Apple Acres. She felt slightly better about accepting the 'SuperShow' since her friends got her old model as a result.

Twilight was vaguely aware of the advert playing out on the projection, showing the model that was sitting on the floor of her room. Oh good, she could ignore this part. Quickly, as to not let too much heat escape from the bed nest she had formed, she hopped up and ran to her closet. She frantically scrambled through her stuff, stopped as her lips settled on the familiar fabric of her favorite _OtherWorld_ hoodie. Grabbing it in her teeth, she yanked it off the rack, ignoring the rest of the clothes falling to the floor. They could be cleaned up later. Now was time to make sure Ryan was okay.

She jumped back onto her bed and into her nest, pulling her hoodie sloppily around her body. It was a special edition designer hoodie, made to look like the hoodie Ryan liked to wear between seasons 3 and 5. It was her favorite design, just a simple gray with some strange text written over it in different colors. She couldn't read the human language yet, but she was planning on buying the fan guide at some point. She wanted to know exactly what she was wearing.

" _Welcome to_ OtherWorld _._ "

Twilight looked up, settling down into her warm nest of blankets and pillows once again, surrounded by her favorite hoodie. Even with the blankets, pillows and thick garment covering her front half, she still shivered.

"Please please please please," she begged, watching as the projection opened to the sight of Ryan sitting in bed with his marefriend, or _girlfriend_ to him, Sarah. They were watching something on some kind of screen on the wall. Twilight wasn't sure was it was, but she knew it served the same purpose as her 'SuperShow.' They were laughing together at something that happened.

"Okay, good, laughing is good," Twilight said to herself, her eyes rooted to the scene.

  
  


****

  
  


Back at Sweet Apple Acres, the rest of the group was watching happily as Ryan and Sarah laughed at whatever was on the wall. Pinkie let out a giant sigh of relief, happy to see that things were looking a bit brighter. No more hurt, Ryan. Time to get better.

" _BEEP!_ " shouted Ryan, causing most of the ponies in the room to laugh out loud. The fillies were rolling around under the table, accidentally crushing some of their snacks as they laughed. Fluttershy was smiling gently at the scene being projected onto the wall. She wouldn't say too much about it, but she really liked Ryan. He was always so nice to his family, always tried to cheer them up. It reminded her of Pinkie.

" _GODDAMN IT, RYAN!_ " Sarah shouted. Everyone in the room flinched at her language. Luckily the fillies were still laughing loudly and hadn't heard it. They liked Sarah, but she could be a bit...violent. A fact that was proven as she shoved Ryan lightly. Even though it was a very gentle push, he almost got ejected onto the floor on the other side of the bed. Apple Bloom took this time to notice the projection.

"Wuz wrong with 'im?" she asked, tilting her head. "That wasn't even a hard push!" The older mares looked at her sadly.

"He's very sick, Apple Bloom," said Fluttershy gently, giving her a nuzzle. "They don't know what it is, but it's already made him unable to walk..." A new cloud of sadness spread around as she reminded everypony about this. They had almost forgot about this point after last week's episode. Scootaloo took this information especially hard, looking back at her tiny wings.

"He's...going to be okay, right?" the orange filly asked. The five older mares looked down at the floor, not answering her right away. Scootaloo turned her attention back to the screen to see Sarah hugging Ryan tightly, her eyes starting to water.

Sarah got up for a moment to turn off the wall screen, though they couldn't see what it was showing anyway. Both Ryan and Sarah looked slightly annoyed at the screen for some reason. They then watched as Ryan took up the spot on his bed that she was sitting in, effectively kicking her off. And he was smirking.

" _Oh, really? Well then~ What if I sit...here?~_ " they heard Sarah say seductively. The five mares went rigid, realizing with was possibly about to happen. Fortunately, Fluttershy thought quickly and used her foreleg to cover the eyes of all three fillies at the same time.

" **HEY!** " they all whined in unison. The mares watched in awkward silence as Sarah proceeded to tease Ryan with her rump, rubbing it all over his waist. There wasn't a face in the room that wasn't pink. Oddly enough, Pinkie's face was split into a wide grin. Applejack and Rarity tried to take their eyes from the projection, but it did little good. That was...too much. Rainbow even had to pin her wings against the back of the couch to keep them from smacking Applejack or Pinkie in the face.

As quickly as the scene started, it was over. Replaced by a scene far worse. Ryan started violently shaking, his whole body convulsing in a terrifying manner. All the ponies in the room gasped. Fluttershy removed her leg from the eyes of the fillies in order to cover her own gasping mouth with it. Of course, now the poor Crusaders were given a front row ticket to the sight of the thrashing Ryan. They all gasped just as loud, Sweetie covering her eyes. Apple Bloom sat there with a look of horror on her face, while Scoolaloo ran up to the projection, yelling at it.

"NO! Stop, Ryan!" she yelled. She was pulled back onto the couch by a still-shocked Rainbow Dash. Scootaloo tried thrashing to get out and back to the projection, but Dash held strong. The little orange filly finally gave up and just watched in silence, tears running down her face.

They all became aware of the screaming. Sarah was screaming at him at first, before she screamed for help. And then they heard a sound that they would not soon forget: Ryan's screams. This was not a panicked or angry scream like that of Sarah. No, this was _far_ worse. These were the screams of a creature dying in agony. The screams of a being that just wanted to die to end the pain. Why was this happening? Why to Ryan?! He didn't deserve this!

Pinkie was sitting on the couch, shaking. Her normally poofy mane was becoming slightly deflated, letting it sag down to cover her wide-open eyes. Her pupils were hardly the size of a pinprick. Ryan's screams were still present, though muffled. The doctors had placed something over his mouth. Yes, help him!

"Save 'im!" shouted Applejack, her hooves smacking the floor as she did so. The surrounding ponies in the room shivered, too terrified to look at the screen. Then Ryan's screams faded. The doctors had calmed him...

The girls let out a weak cheer, until another sound became noticeable. _The continuous '_ Beeeeee- _' of Ryan's heart monitor_. Every set of ears in the room folded back in realized horror. His heart had stopped. He was dead.

****

Twilight sat inside her bed nest, not moving a muscle. Did that really just happen? He was doing fine! Sarah was just teasing him with her flank, then...he was gone. The doctors on the projection were running about, working with some sort of twin paddle thing. It didn't matter. His heart had stopped. Doctors can't heal death. Ryan, her favorite character in any work of fiction ever, was gone for good.

At first, she didn't cry. She just sat there, basking in this new feeling. And after a few moments, the tears came. However, they were no longer tears of sadness. They were tears of fury. They just killed off Ryan! How could they do this to all of the fans of the show?! Nobody would be watching this show anymore, she would make sure of it. She would destroy every last _GemShow_ product if she had to!

She had almost smashed her 'SuperShow' into millions of gem bits when the gentle ' _Beep...beep...beep_ ' sound filled her ears. Wait...what? He... was breathing! By Celestia's sweet sun, they brought him back! But...how?

Her attention was grabbed by movement towards the back of the room. Oh no. Sarah. She had seen all that. Ryan had died right in front on her, screaming like a madmare. And without a second to think, Sarah shot out of the room and down the hallway, crying hysterically. By the sun...whatever Unicorn was broadcasting this sure knew how to play with emotions! So **that's** what they were building up to.

Twilight sighed happily. The finale was meant to scare the fans, she realized. But why was it still going? Ryan was okay again, now he could start recovering. Sarah was probably traumatized, but she was strong, she could recover. The worst was over, now. Right?

She didn't trust that point anymore. So she continued to watch as the scene faded and was replaced with Ryan waking in bed the next morning. He looked...awful. Twilight could immediately tell he was in pain now. And now his face showed...fear? Wait, why isn't he moving? It's just his head moving around.

"Come on, Ryan," Twilight said softly, more to herself than the character. "Sit up, move around." Her voice was now pleading. At that moment, Ryan started coughing. It was a rough, raspy cough that tugged at Twilight's heartstrings. He sounded like he was in so much pain...she had to stifle a sob. Why were they doing this to him? Nearly killing him wasn't enough?

Ryan's sister Emily appeared on the scene, making Twilight smile. Emily was very protective of Ryan, nothing bad happened when she was around. She would know what to do. And she did. The purple Alicorn watched as Ryan's little sister helped him with a glass of water. Ryan surprised Twilight once again with his optimism, choosing this moment to jokingly make slurpy noises with his straw until Emily got annoyed and took it away from him. This was the Ryan that Twilight lo...admired. Nothing, even a near death experience, could keep him down for long. Just get better, Ryan!

" _No kidding. I swear you need a leash sometimes, Ryan_ ," said Emily, her voice sounding disappointed, but in a happy way, if that makes any sense. Twilight nodded and laughed at the scene. It was true, Ryan got into a bit too much trouble sometimes with his carefree attitude. He needed someone to show him how to stay a bit more...organized.

" _You would like that, wouldn't you?_ " said Ryan, obviously teasing. That didn't make Twilight blush any less, however. He just insinuated that his sister wanted to...Oh, my. This episode was quite the doozy. Usually Twilight was lucky to catch a dirty joke or two hidden in the show, but this time...an almost steamy scene, followed by fake-out death scene, followed by implied incest.

By the time she recovered enough to pay attention once again, Ryan was in another one of his space-outs. Twilight nodded sadly and watched. She couldn't blame the poor human. After everything that had been going on, Twilight wasn't even sure he should be sane anymore. No matter how tough...

" _Ryan, you're doing it again_ ," piped Emily, breaking Ryan from his trance. Thank you Emily. After some reassuring by Emily saying that she was okay, the doctor came in. Oh, good. Come help Ryan get better! Look at his family, they need him! Oh, the doctor was talking again. She really needed to stop losing focus.

" _What hurts, Mr. Burbank?_ " asked the doctor. What, no 'How are you?' or something? That question almost seemed grim. Why, though? Ryan lived! She watched her favorite human on the screen, trying to think of what he was going to say.

" _I need to take a body shit,_ " was the response the doctor got.

...Alrighty then. Well she wasn't expecting that. Sure, Ryan was sometimes vulgar with his language, _especially_ with his humor. But come on, Ryan, take this seriously! The doctor was as confused at first as Twilight had been. Then he continued on, giving Emily a look. For some reason, Emily shook her head.

" _I didn't...he just woke up_ ," Emily said sadly. What was going on? Was Emily supposed to have told him something? The doctor just nodded and looked at his notepad. Then he did something that none of the doctors had done since Ryan was admitted. He used Ryan's first name. Twilight was confused by this. Why now? Some weird attempt to be more casual, maybe?

" _I'm not really sure how to say this, but I'm sure you're already feeling it_ ," said the doctor.

...What?

" _Well...it appears that your most recent episode has spread the infection much higher and much quicker than we thought it would,_ " the doctor continued.

No. No, he's wrong. Not again. This couldn't happen.

" _You are now paralyzed from the neck down. The same thing that happened with your legs has happened with your torso,_ " the doctor was sounding more and more like some kind of mind slave.

Para...paralyzed? That's why he couldn't...move. Twilight's pupils shrank and he hoof went up to her mouth.

"C-Celestia, no..." she squeaked. Please stop, creators. Only so much could be taken...no more gut punches. Please just let Ryan go...how was he going to take this?

" _Hey, doctor, ever hear the story about the asparagus plants?_ " said Ryan with a devious grin. Twilight stopped crying and stared at the screen. What...what the hay? Asparagus...p-WAIT. WAIT, NO, DOCTOR, DON'T SAY YES! RUN! Twilight became a mass or flailing hooves as she tried to warn the doctor somehow. Alas, he was just a projection and could not heed her warning.

" _Um, no, I don't think so,_ " the doctor mumbled. YOU FOOL! Luckily Emily took the initiative and covered Ryan's mouth with her hand and mouthed the words 'Shut up' at him with a few not-so-nice words thrown in for good effect. Yes, Emily to the rescue! The doctor took the hint and tried walking away.

Then Ryan proceeded to scream a very shortened version of his asparagus plant story at the top of his lungs at the doctor. Twilight let out a loud groan and buried her face into a pile of pillows.

"Celestia damn it, Ryan," she mumbled to herself. Ryan and his asparagus story. No being was safe from their tiny legs. Though it was to her shame that she had a good collection of asparagus plant plushies...hidden away of course. Oh, wait, his parents were awake now.

Twilight could hardly watch this scene. It consisted of his parents fussing over him, his mom crying, Ryan explaining the amount of pain he was in and his mother trying to comfort him. It was then that a good point was brought up. Where was Sarah?

****

" _Sarah...she said she couldn't take it, Ryan,_ " Ryan's mother said sadly to her immobile son. The entirety of the room let out a collective gasp, another one in the long list for tonight's episode. Apple Bloom and Sweetie were curled up against Fluttershy, trying to hide from the strong emotions going around the room. Pinkie was curled around herself, her shimmering blue eyes barely visible from behind her mane. The only dry eyes in the room belonged to Applejack, but she was very surely crying on the inside.

"Don't tell me..." Dash said, her eye widening as she turned to her friends. "She...she didn't...right?" Rarity shook her head.

"We don't know, darling, we're watching it at the same time as you," she said, her voice little more than a ragged whisper. Rarity was well known for her wailing and whining ability, and when Ryan died...she nearly took out every set of eardrums in the room. She was happy he had been revived, but the event still left her with barely any voice left at all.

" _Oh, no no no! She's fine, Ryan! She's back at your cabin, resting_ ," came Ryan's mother's voice to the rescue. Another sigh of relief was let out. Poor Scootaloo was watching intently, her eyes having barely blinked since Ryan's heart had stopped. Even during the Asparagus Plant scene, she hadn't changed her expression. For the moment, she was stuck.

" _But..._ " Ryan's mother continued. Oh no, what now?

" _She said she can't visit anymore, Ryan,_ " the adult hooman told him. Okay, now there was confusion and anger.

"What. The. Buck?!" were Rainbow's words.

"What in tarnation?!" were Applejack's. It was obvious to both Elements of Honesty and Loyalty; Sarah had left Ryan. Given up on him during his time of need. This new found anger towards one of the characters they thought they liked caused a stream of insults and threats to fly from the blue and orange mares.

" _Could you...take care of her after?_ " asked Ryan weakly. Everyone in the room stopped, letting these words sink in. He wasn't mad at her. And he was asking his family to help her out after he...no...well, hay. The tears were back again. The sight of Ryan's family hugging their crippled son and nodding did not help make the group of mares any less sad. Sweetie and Apple Bloom curled up tighter while Fluttershy shushed them, trying to use comforting them as an escape from her own sadness. Her poor Ryan...why? Why was this happening? The show up to this point had always been so optimistic in the face of the darkness that the fictional world spewed out. But now...the darkness was just crashing down onto everypony's shoulders. Apple Bloom and Sweetie sure couldn't handle this. Scootaloo might have passed out at this point, Fluttershy didn't see or hear her. Pinkie wasn't even watching anymore, her spot on the couch replaced with a pink ball of poof. Rarity was sobbing quietly, her purple main bouncing with each movement. Rainbow and Applejack appeared to be stuck between seething about Sarah and moping about Ryan. The mixture was very confusing to their friends around them.

Oh, good, the scene was shifting. Please, please let this scene bear some good news.

****

She...she just left him. Left him alone to die, unable to do more than lift and turn his head. What kind of monster was Sarah?

"That...that... _horseapple!_ " Twilight yelled at the projection before making an ' _eep!'_ sound and covering her muzzle with her hooves. She didn't mean to use such harsh language, but Sarah's actions had prompted her to do the unimaginable. Wait, the scene was changing again.

In the projection, Twilight was now being shown Sarah, curled up in the corner of the cabin she lived in with Ryan, the inside absolutely trashed. The couch was flipped, fridge door-less, all tables smashed into chunks and lamps thrown around. She was still crying loudly. Twilight wanted to hate her...but seeing her like this...

It was then that Twilight noticed something in her hand, looking like a little white thermometer. Wait...was that? Oh, Celestia, it was. The scene zoomed into Sarah's hand, letting every viewer of the show see the tiny '+' displayed on the pregnancy test.

Twilight didn't know how much more she could take. Just this episode, she had lost her Ryan, gained him back, saw his suffering and immobility, saw Sarah leave him and heard Ryan's last wish to his family. Ryan...he wasn't going to make it. Sarah was pregnant. He would never see his offspring.

The scene was now focused back on the hospital, focused closely on Ryan's pained expression, the light from the screen on his wall dancing across his face. Besides for that light, his room was dark. He was awake and alone at night. And he was crying. No, Ryan, please don't cry! You need to stay strong, you can get over-

The scene changed again, this time a flashback, as made apparent by the faint white surrounding the borders of the scene. It showed the doctor talking to a more able-bodied Ryan about...no, not this again. This is the scene that gave Twilight nightmares and made her watch this episode alone. This was from last week when the doctor had been conversing with Ryan about...assisted medical suicide. Ryan had been given the option to just fall asleep and not wake up, if the pain became too great. Last week, it seemed so far out of range. But now...

The scene exited the flashback and returned to Ryan's face, a scarily determined look upon it, showing up even through the pain. Oh. Oh no. He was going to do it. He was going to let himself die!

"Ryan!" Twilight screamed, dashing out from inside her nest and moving up to the projection. She tried grabbing him to shake some sense into him, but her hooves passed through him. The only thing she managed to do was disturb the picture for a moment.

****

The group watching at Sweet Apple Acres was now together in a tight cuddle pile, watching Ryan's family cry over him, saying their goodbyes. Not one of the mares could believe what they were watching. Ryan was letting himself go. His family was letting him go. Sarah had let him go already. They couldn't blame him though, the look on his face was too much. He was shivering and twitching in pain at this point. It was obviously just going to get worse until it killed him. It was going to take him soon anyway.

" _I l-love...you guys..._ " said Ryan weakly. His voice was...broken; barely audible through his chattering teeth. It was like he was talking to both his family and his fans. Him saying that was too much for both his family and the pack of mares huddled in Applejack's living room. They began blubbering again, clinging to each other for support in a manner similar to how Ryan's family was hugging him. Fluttershy was crying and hiccuping into her pink mane, Pinkie was sobbing loudly, Rarity was trying to wail through her raspy throat, Dash was choking through her tears and Applejack was watching the screen, frozen. The three shivering fillies were surrounded by their older friends, who were protecting their innocent eyes from the sight of their dying fictional friend. They should _NOT_ have allowed the fillies in here tonight, regardless of behavior. This was too much for even the strongest pony.

" _Are you all ready?_ " they heard the doctor say. The group froze, watching the screen. This was it. Fluttershy was the first to move a muscle. She nodded very gently in tune with Ryan's family. The next to nod was Applejack, followed by Rarity, and then Rainbow. Finally, Pinkie was the last not to move. Her lip trembled violently her eyes locked with Ryan's. The scene focused deep into his deep brown eyes as he nodded slowly. Pinkie followed his movements and nodded.

The doctor nodded and got to work with a tube of liquid he was holding. Every pony in the room knew that the tube was the end to Ryan's pain. A few of them smiled even, knowing that it was going to be over in an instant.

****

"Ryan, stop! Just hold on, I can...I can..." begged Twilight, her hooves waving pathetically through the image of Ryan's slowly relaxing body. The doctor had just connected the tube to his IV, letting the murderous liquid spill into his veins. The poor pony princess bit at her hoodie, watching through wide eyes as Ryan's chest slowed, his breathing becoming shallow. He was fading.

"Please, please don't go!" she shouted into a pillow that had previously been launched by her onto the floor. Her pleas fell onto deaf ears however. Ryan let out one last exhale and stopped breathing. His expression became one of peace. Twilight's panic became full blown at the sight of her Ryan, dead once again. This time, however, no doctors were rushing to save him. This time he was just going to pass away.

"Ryan!" Twilight wailed out loud, tears streaming down her face. Her horn glowed faintly, trying to lock onto the object of the spell she was subconsciously casting. Ryan's heart monitor went flat, causing his family to break down once again and hug him harder. This would be their last chance.

"Ryan!" her horn glowed bright, a ripple appearing inside the projection.

" **RYAN COME BACK!** " she screamed. At that instant, her horn lit up the room, her Alicorn magic pouring out into a spell that she should not have been able to cast. She closed her eyes in response to the bright light and braced herself for whatever was happening. A pounding could barely be heard on the other side of her room, coming from her door.

"TWI! ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?!" came the voice of Spike, her adopted little dragon brother. Twilight didn't respond, her eyes squinted open and locked on the projection. At the very center, she could barely make out a dark shape forming inside the light. Then it was over with loud ' _BANG!_ ' The force from the explosion sent Twilight flying backwards, her body rolling a few times before colliding with a mountain of pillows that had formed against the wall.

Twilight sat there, trembling for a few moments. She then opened her eyes slowly, her gaze falling on the new figure laying on the ground among the shattered pieces of where her 'SuperShow' used to be.

She blinked once. Then twice. Then three times just to make sure she could actually see what she was seeing.

The very familiar body of Ryan Burbank was laying there, his chest raising and falling slowly. He wasn't in his hospital garb, however. He was in a hoodie very similar to Twilight's, dark blue jeans covering his lower half. Twilight stared for a full minute before daring to move closer. The image didn't fade as she approached. This was no mirage.

"Oh...buck," were the only words Princess Twilight Sparkle could form at that moment.

****

A few minutes away in Ponyville, a mint green Unicorn sniffled sadly. Her head was bowed towards the ground where she lay, her horn touching a large transfer gem gently. Her eyes were closed, but the tears could still escape. Her entire body was trembling. She was trying her hardest not to cry.

"I'm sorry, Ryan...Rose...Rich...Emily...Sarah" she whispered to herself as she played out the scene inside her head. In her imagination, Ryan took his last breaths before finally passing on. It was over now...she had done it. Celestia knows she didn't want to, but she had no choice. They had said it was this or...the entire family...all for the sake of the bucking ratings. Sure, ponies would be talking about this. How the show _OtherWorld_ had reduced a legion of loyal fans into a sobbing mess during the season 8 finale. Fans were going to be mad. This was going to cause an uproar. She could already hear some pained sobs from some of the neighboring houses. If they knew they were living right next to the one who had just killed off their idol...

"Are you okay, Lyra...?" asked a cream colored earth pony mare that had been sitting next to her. Lyra Heartstrings sighed and nodded slowly, nuzzling her friend Bon-Bon slowly.

"Yeah, it's just...I had so much more planned for him, you know...?" Lyra asked weakly, struggling to give Bon-Bon a smile. The mint Unicorn received a friendly hug.

"I know, Lyra, I know..." Bon-Bon cooed, looking at the transfer gem in distaste. "Those buckers at OW...they don't know what they just gave up." Lyra shook her head at her friend's words.

"No, this will probably do exactly what they want. Ponies will be mad, but the controversy will breed attention, and that means more viewers...not to mention all the 'In Memoriam' merchandise they are probably planning," Lyra spat. She hated this. Her pride and joy, Ryan Burbank, was everything she had ever wanted in a friend. She regretted selling herself to this show, giving Ryan away to a producer that just slit his throat and drained him of anything worth money. She had created Ryan years ago, as a sort of imaginary friend that she could talk to when she got lonely. He was so nice...and even when she started living with Bon-Bon, she still kept him in her thoughts. And now he was just put through the most excruciating pain a being could go through in her mind, all for sake of money. Did he feel it? She knew he was just imaginary, but what if he was real in her head and she had just tortured her best friend?

She...wouldn't have been able to live with herself.

It was at that moment that she was assaulted by the very sudden feeling of another being feeling inside of her mind. It was one of the absolute most invasive experiences she had ever been put through. She couldn't do anything; she was frozen in her own head. Bon-Bon took notice of her sudden stillness and tried shaking her awake. It did not work.

Then as suddenly as the presence entered, it left again. But it did not leave alone. Lyra was put through the very strange feeling of having something in her mind forcefully ripped out and taken. She was immediately back in control on her body.

"Lyra! What's wrong?!" Bon-Bon shouted, trying to shake her friend to attention. Lyra looked at Bon-Bon slowly, tears pouring down her cheeks. The sight frightened the Tartarus out of the poor cream colored earth pony.

"He...he's gone..." Lyra whispered hauntingly before her eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out.


	3. S1E3: My Biggest Fans

Twilight sat down next to the foreign being that had been so rudely dumped out onto the floor of her room. Was this really him? Was her Ryan sitting on the floor with her? Wasn't he just dead a moment ago? And imaginary?

A very hesitant hoof was raised and then lowered again, placing itself upon the human's slowly expanding chest. Twilight's hoof followed his sternum as it lowered, the sound of an exhale leaving Ryan's nose. He...he's alive. His heart is beating. He's breathing. Ryan's okay. The sheer joy that went through the Alicorn was enough to almost cause another surge of magical energy. She had done it! She saved her fictional friend's life! And all it took was for her to...bring him into existence. Um...oh, hay, think about it later. Look at his chest! It's moving!

Twilight excitedly leaned her head down, pressing the entire left side of her face onto the spot where she could feel his heart beating. She closed her eyes and listened, her body trembling with barely contained happiness.

_*Inhale and lift*_

_..._

_*Exhale and sink*_

_..._

_*Inhale and lift*_

Twilight just wanted to stay here forever. Ryan was here, in her room, alive and well. At least, she thought he was all right...oh hay, what if the infection followed him here?! She could **not** go through seeing him slowly decay on a hospital bed, _especially_ if he was physically there while it was happening. Seeing it in a projection was bad enough. Twilight couldn't trust herself not to ponynap him or something if that happened.

She quickly charged up her horn and cast a veil of white light over the unconscious man. It was a very simple form of medical magic, made to check up on a patient to find ailments, but not to actually heal anything. If something was found to be wrong, then a more potent healing spell could be used. The problem with medical magic was that it oftentimes drained way too much energy from the pony that was casting it. The scanning spell, however, was very easy to control and taxed the caster very little.

The winged Unicorn felt herself looking into the conditions of his body. The spell had placed her consciousness alongside his, so that she could feel whatever he had felt. So if he was in pain, she would know where to start applying help. To her surprise, however, she found absolutely nothing wrong. He was just sleeping, and rather peacefully too. Twilight could almost feel herself dozing just from sharing a bit of comfort the sleeping human was feeling. Her sleepiness was pushed away as Spike finally managed to bash his little purple body against the door hard enough to break the lock and send himself flying into the room with her. He flew head-over-tail for a moment before he scrambled up and looked around, expecting there to be some kind of monster attacking his sister figure.

...Uh...well, he was half right. There was some kind of being there next to Twilight, but it was just laying there, snoozing comfortably. No attacking, no evil monologues, no disaster. Actually, her room was in utter chaos but it was always some sort of messy. Spike had to fight for the words that weren't even there to begin with.

"...Uh...is, what? You? That...what?" he stuttered, looking back and forth between Twilight and the monster. Her face was frozen with the rest of her body. Obviously words were hating her just as much as Spike in that moment.

"He! Uh...this is, Ryan, he...uh-EEP!" she exclaimed, jumping a bit at the end. The change in tone was no shock for Spike. The mysterious being had stirred in its sleep, curling itself around Twilight's foreleg. It then proceeded to snuggle her leg as if it were the cuddliest teddy bear in existence, and the act of not cuddling it would cause it immense pain. Spike was horrified. The monster was attacking her! Trying to eat her leg! Then it was going to eat him! Oh sweeeet Celeeeeeeeeeee-!

Why wasn't Twilight running?! She needed to get away from it before it hurt her! But no, she sat there, her eyes locked onto the cuddle monster, her mouth slowly spreading into a wide grin. Spike flinched, a new sound tingling in his ears. What the hay was that? It was quiet at first, almost inaudible. Then the volume increased, giving off a high pitched squeaking sound. As the sound grew, Spike realized that the sound was coming from Twilight.

"Squuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!~"

Spike stared for a few seconds, his ears ringing. Twilight basked in the afterglow of her sound.

That-

-was the loudest and longest ' _Squee!_ ' the poor young drake had ever heard. He didn't even think something of such intensity would even be possible. With Spike's sensitive ears, he had been trapped in himself, cowering before the almighty squeak while it had its way with his head. He wanted to recover for longer, but Twilight was in danger! The monster had latched onto her now and it was controlling her mind so she couldn't run away!

The dragon rushed forward, leaping onto the unknown creature's side and letting loose a hailstorm of powerful punches and devastating kicks.

...well, he pushed it a little. This thing was massive! Spike was about to trying blowing fire on it when Twilight caught him in her magic and lifted him into the air by the tail. Oh no! The monster was controlling Twilight and using her magic as a weapon! How devious!

"Spike, stop that this instant! You'll hurt him!" she reprimanded, looking him square in the eye. Spike squirmed around, trying to break free from the mind-controlled sister of his.

"You have to fight it Twilight! I know you're still in there!" he shouted, tears starting to well in his eyes. If you've never been upside down while crying, it's a strange feeling. The tears run _up_ your face instead of down. Twilight lifted an eyebrow and sighed at the confused baby dragon.

"Spike, I'm fine," she said softly, trying to get him to calm the hay down. "It's not a monster, it's not trying to eat me, and it's actually 'he,' not 'it.'" Spike sniffled, looking at his caretaker closely for the first time. Those eyes...that look...yep, that was Twilight. No monster could just recreate the same expressions that he saw on her face every day. Okay...so maybe she wasn't as mind-controlled as he thought.

"H-he...?" Spike asked, still trembling a little. Twilight smiled at him and levitated him so that he was facing the right way up again before she set him back down on the floor next to the sleeping giant. He took a few steps back, eyeing the 'he' nervously. It was then that he noticed a glint towards the thing's face. Spike's gaze moved up the foreign body before it locked onto the gaze of the creature himself. The young drake froze. _Oh sweet mother of ruby pudding he's awake!_

****

Well that was officially the weirdest thing I've ever done seen. Did that TV swallow me? I mean, sure I've heard of vore before, but that was ridiculous. I'd bet my left nut that nobody had ever made a vore picture of a television set eating somebody.

...okay, maybe I wouldn't. Damn, internet, you scary.

All that was running through my mind now was comfort. I was warm. No more pain. I was happy. Is this was being dead felt like? If so, I think I can wait around here for awhile. At least until the rest of my family can join me. I guess I could just snuggle up to this warm thing for eternity. It was really soft to the touch~

Uh, hold up. Touch? As in hands? Physical hands, arms, legs, genitals? Check to all of those. Somehow, I was still physical. Do you retain your body in the afterlife? What would be the point of that? Surely, if I was dead, I wouldn't need to breathe. Okay, stop breathing now.

Hmm, no pain yet. Maybe this really is the afterlife.

...

Oh, wait, there it is. Well damn, I still needed oxygen. But that meant...I'm alive? How? I felt myself die! That was really weird! I was...oh shit. _I felt myself die_. That thought right there was enough to wake me the rest of the way up. Oh, and something scrambling on my right side to tickle my ribs wasn't helping my sleep either. Wait, something was touching me, I was alive and I wasn't in pain! Did something happen at the last moment to save me and they had found the cure? If I was alive, no other explanation made sense. That thing touching me...my family must be right there with me! I was okay! No more sad, no more crying! Oh, the fluttery feeling dancing in my gut almost made me do a _The Three Stooges_ -esque floor spin right then and there. I just needed to open my eyes and-!

Oh, nope. So much nope. What the hell was that thing? It was purple and green and had spines and...holy shit, that was Spike. From that show I watched in my hospital room. Thinking of which, where the hell was my bed? Where the hell was the hospital? My surroundings no longer consisted of whiteness and sterility. Now there was closer to a rainbow throwing up in my eyeballs. Holy hell, was I still tripping and I was actually taking awhile to die?

Spike met my stare and his eyes shot open. He looked like he was really afraid of me or something. Why? Had I done something while tripping balls to scare him? He'd seen much bigger and scarier than a weak little human, right? The dragon began to shiver and point at me. Who was he trying to warn? The only beings in here were him, me, and this purple leg. Purple. Leg. Oh.

I looked slowly up at the purple Alicorn princess I was latched firmly to. Those years sleeping with Sarah must have made me...pretty grabby in my sleep. In my ultimate sleep wisdom, I had for some reason decided to spoon the leg of the main character of the show. Oh, she was still looking at Spike. Her face looked confused. Good, she hadn't seen that I was awake yet. But that all changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

...no, she actually just looked down at me in her effort to decode her assistant's mumbling. Our eyes met and we both froze. Oh shit, please don't kill me, drug trip Twilight. I'm sorry I spooned your leg! She didn't make a move. That was good, I could work with stunned silence. Okay, I needed a way to break the ice with her so that she wouldn't assume I was hostile. Drug trip or not, this could get scary. I didn't want my last few moments to be filled with a dream of me being chased around Equestria by an angry Twilight Sparkle. With that in mind, I cleared my throat and spoke.

"Uhh...hey Twilight, hey Spike," I whispered, afraid of frightening them. The Asparagus Plant story could be used later if need be, but for right now, calm was key. Unfortunately, that was apparently not the smart thing to do. Both Twilight and her assistant went wide-eyed. I flinched back, assuming I did something offensive. What, was I supposed to refer to her as Princess? I didn't get the answer I wanted, however. The only thing I got was an unconscious purple Alicorn falling onto me.

I let out a pained ' _Oof!_ ' as I tried to roll into a more comfortable position. A few feet away, I could hear another ' _thud_.' I guess Spike was out too. Well shit. I knocked out a Princess of Equestria and her loyal assistant just by greeting them. What kind of powers did I hold here? If me saying 'hi' was enough to render a powerful Alicorn and a dragon unconscious, I wonder what my Asparagus Story would do...Oh god. No, with great power comes great responsibility. I must never use that story again. It would probably cause the universe to eat itself or something stupid like that.

I rested there for a few moments and took a good look at the room. Okay, we were in her Crystal Castle or whatever it was called. I saw it during one episode that was playing in the hospital, but the rest depicted her living in some kind of tree. Goddamn channel playing all the episodes out of order. If I had a list of things I was going to get revenge on, that channel would be at the top.

Oh well, no use dwelling on that now. The floor was somehow not super painful to be laying on, despite how hard it was. In fact, the air around me even felt...comfortable and warm. It's just air, why was it comfy? The super warm Alicorn laying on my chest was just adding to the coziness. Unfair, super adorable things, unfair.

I shook my head and sat up, holding Twilight carefully in my arms. Didn't want to knock her off and make her hit her head or anything. Then she truly might destroy me. No, not just destroy me. She would take me apart and have a fist...er, hoof-fight with every one of my individual cells. It was then that another thought struck me.

I was holding her. With my arms. I could move. I knew I should have expected this, the whole situation being a veritable mind fuck, but damn if it didn't feel amazing to be able to move around under my own power again. Oh hell, my legs worked too. Where were those floodgates? Not anywhere around here, that's for sure. The tears of relief fell heavily down my face, but I felt no shame. Before the whole infection, I always refused to cry. It was always just easier to laugh any pains away. But now, after everything that had happened, I had become a natural at sobbing. It felt good at the time so I was going to sob. Being manly can shove it, I could move again. I deserved at least a few minutes of happy tears.

...okay, maybe it was more like twenty minutes. But still! It was nice to cry. Too many emotions bubbling up. Trying to keep them from spilling over only worked when I had my family there to catch me. My family...I hope they'll be okay without me. The least I could do for them was to be comfortable in my final moments. I looked down at the gently snoring pony in my arms and smiled. She was soft and warm and probably really nice to cuddle with. Probably one of the best beings I could be hugging during my death. I looked over at the young dragon passed out next to my feet. I rolled my eyes once.

"Oh, why the hell not? Come here, you," I said, leaning down and pulling the unconscious Spike into my embrace with Twilight. Okay, now just need a place to rest and wait for my brain to finally expire. My eyes wandered over the room, taking note of how extremely fucked it was. Did Twilight fail a spell or something? Jesus, it looked like a bomb went off in here. Weird, nothing looks burnt.

My gaze fell on a pile of blankets and pillows against the wall near Twilight's bed. My smile shot up. That was _perfect_. Pillow mountain, here we come! I got up, surprised that I didn't immediately fall over again. My legs had been useless for what, a month now? How were they still strong enough to walk? Oh, yeah. Tripping balls. Forgot there for a second.

I shrugged to myself and carried the two unconscious beings over to the wall with me. They were surprisingly light. I must have been super strong in my subconscious or something. I reached the mountain of fluff and snuggles, setting my two friends down first. Finding a blanket to cover us was easy enough, being that there were about twenty of them covering the floor around us. I smiled down at the characters in my head and knelt down next to them, looking for a good spot. The comfiest location in the mound was quickly found. Oh, man were these blankets awesome. Like the softest fluff I had ever felt before times a few thousand. Perfect for my last resting spot before my brain gave out.

I smiled happily at the ceiling, one of the blankets wrapped snugly over Twilight, Spike and myself. I was happy. This was okay. At least my last moments in my head were that of unimaginable comfort. I rolled onto my side, reaching over and wrapping my arms around Twilight. Being the lightweight little thing that she was, her body slid over to mine with no resistance. A tear ran down my face as I snuggled my Alicorn Pillow Pet, the fingers on my left hand running through her mane. Well, damn. Even her mane was super soft. I had been around enough equines in my life to know that manes were kind of rough most of the time. But Twilight? Almost as soft as the blankets.

"Eat your heart out, Emily," I chuckled to my myself. If she had been a fan of this show like I suspected, she would probably kill to be able to do what I was doing right now. Ah, well. Might as well obey my heavy eyelids. It must finally be my time. I let out one last yawn before I let sleep overtake me, Twilight snuggled firmly against my chest. I didn't even feel her one wing wrap around me. Bye, world~

****

Today was not a good day in Ponyville. There was not a single pony walking around in the morning sun with a happy expression. It seemed _OtherWorld_ was quite the hit in the small rural town. Pretty much every pony around had tuned in to see last night's episode. Sure, _OtherWorld_ was popular, but in cities like Canterlot and Manehattan, it was still only catching on. Instead of a nearly 90% viewership rating like Ponyville, most other towns usually hovered right around 40-50%.

This amount of viewership and fan loyalty showed in the small town. Last night's episode had ruined countless ponies. The merchant stands that usually littered the streets were mostly vacant. The calls of ponies trying to sell their goods were now limited to only a few lucky souls that had been unable or unwilling to watch the show that aired the night before. Even some of the most loyal fans in town had skipped the episode. They had the foresight to know something bad was coming. The summary of the events that took place were bad enough...but most of the ponies had _watched_ it. They had seen Ryan's heart monitor go flat the first time, they had heard his screams of agony. The sight of Ryan's family crying over him as he passed away for the second time...the ponies with families were crushed. They imagined themselves in that bed, or their children, or spouse. And when it was over, only to realize that Sarah was pregnant with Ryan's child...

Ponies were not built to comprehend misery of that scale. The worst thing that usually happened on any given day was maybe somepony being in a mood and saying a few swear words. Sure, their town was often subject to monster attacks and such, being so close to the Everfree Forest. But those were different. They had adapted to those already, had a system in place to help get the town back up to 100% in no time at all in the event of another attack. And ponies were rarely hurt by these attacks. Usually they were just scared or confused.

Last night's episode of _OtherWorld_ had taken everypony's favorite hooman and tortured him. Killed him twice. The levels of pain that were shown running across his face...by Celestia, were the creators sick? It was almost _sadistic_.

Why, it had taken its toll so harshly that the sun rose with the moon still in the sky. The two galactic orbs sat there next to each other for at least half an hour before somepony had decided to tell the moon it was morning. It slowly sank below the horizon, almost sadly. Truly, the season finale had done exactly what the ponies at OW wanted. Even the _moon_ was upset.

****

Back at the farmhouse, the rest of the Elements of Harmony were just stirring from the cuddle pile that had slept in overnight. Sleep had not come too easily to any of them that night, so they opted to remain in their hug. At least until they recovered enough. The first one awake was Pinkie. When she got up, she didn't hop around and wake the others, didn't make any loud noises, and didn't even repoof her mane. She just walked slowly out of the pile and out the door. She didn't want to leave her friends in this state, but she had work. Or did she? Mrs. Cake **did** say that Sugarcube Corner might very well be closed today so that she could restock her supplies. Pinkie didn't know. Just to be sure, she walked slowly through town.

Even through her somber mood, she noticed the lack of smiles in town. No...please, not all of Ponyville. These were all her friends! And none of them were smiling...they carried the same bleak expression that she herself was wearing. Normally, this would call for one of Pinkie's super giant Ponyville-wide cheering up parties. But how would her friends take that? Ryan's dead, let's party! No, that wouldn't work...Ryan may have been imaginary, but he still meant a lot to many ponies. He was real enough to make a difference to everypony. That alone was enough to be worth the mourning that came with his loss.

Before she realized it, she had walked right by Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie smiled sheepishly to herself as she turned around and doubled back to where she had meant to go in the first place. The lights were on inside, she saw. Maybe they were open?

Pinkie lived inside the top floor on the bakery usually, but the Cakes were very used to the pink party pony sleeping over other places, and were well versed in what Gummy needed each night. It wasn't much really. Just some food and some water to splash around in.

Pinkie reached the door to the bakery and let herself in, the bell above her letting of a little jingle. The sound was so familiar that she usually ignored it. Today, it was nice. A little sound to remind her that everything that had happened last night didn't really happen. It was just a story. The real world was here, with her sweet treats and her Gummy and her bell.

"Good morning, Pinkie dear!" Pinkie heard Mrs. Cake call to her. Pinkie smiled and soaked it in. This was where she belonged. Not moping about a character that was only alive in someone else's head. Her place was here, in the kitchen...okay, that sounded meaner than she meant it to.

"G'mornin' Cakes!" she called back, some of the luster returning to her voice. Her mane also felt a bit more poofy. She thought for another second. Wait...alive in someone else's head. He was imaginary, right? Who's to say Ryan can't just live on in her imagination? Yeah, that could work! He would be safe inside the mind of Pinkie, always there for her when she needed him. Oh, this was great!

Her mane felt 120% poofier now. She needed to tell her friends about this! They could each help carry a piece of Ryan with them! But unfortunately, work came first. She had just started walking towards her work station when a blue leg stopped her. Pinkie look over to see Mrs. Cake holding her back, smiling gently. The pink mare tilted her head.

"What's up, Mrs. Cake?" she asked. Her boss just smiled at her.

"Not today, dearie," she said kindly. "I've got a lot of supplies to pick up, and I might have to go farther than Ponyville to get it. Seems most places are closed up today. Apparently you were right about everypony being too tired." Pinkie flinched. Mrs. Cake was one of the lucky ones who hadn't seen last night's episode.

"It's...not quite that...well, it is, but it's a bit more," Pinkie started explaining. It was Cup Cake's turn to tilt her head at Pinkie. Cup had been out earlier and hadn't seen anybody out. All the shops around town were closed. What had happened?

"What's wrong, dear?" Mrs. Cake asked. Pinkie shuffled nervously, not wanting to have to relive the memory of Ryan's death again. She was just starting to move away from her sadness. Falling back in would hurt not only her, but also her friends. They were counting on her to bring some light back to their day!

"It's...Ryan died..." Pinkie sighed, looking down at the floor. Mrs. Cake took a step back in surprise. They actually killed him? But from what Pinkie had told her, he was really popular! Why would they do that? They killed off a character that most of the town seemed to root for. Was that why...was that why all the shops were closed? Why barely anypony was outside? Just how did they get so many ponies to care so deeply about a character in a story?

"Oh, I'm so sorry, dearie," Mrs. Cake cooed, giving Pinkie yet another hug. This show, whatever it was, was not good for her. She felt Pinkie return the hug, tighter than she was expecting. Pinkie was...determined? That's...that's good! But what was she determined about? She looked up to see that Pinkie did indeed have an encouraging smile on her face. The smile spread to the blue mare. **This** was the Pinkie she knew.

"Thanks, Mrs. Cake, but I've already got an idea on how to cheer everypony up!" Pinkie said happily, giving a little bounce. Pinkie was bouncing once again. Mrs. Cake was so relieved that she also shared in her movement. It was not destined to be, however. Cup lifted her hoof up to Pinkie, a fiercely determined expression now covering her face as well. Pinkie caught on and nodded, giving her boss a firm hoofbump.

"Do your thing, Pinkie," Cup Cake whispered. Pinkie smiled wide and took off out the door in a torpedo of pink. This party was going to need to be big. To be able to reach out to everypony at once to explain how they could keep Ryan alive. They would need space, and lots of it. Somewhere tall and fabulous and open...oh, duh. Twilight's castle thingy! It was huge! Would it be big enough for all the ponies hurt by this wave of sadness? Twilight would know. Also Twilight would have to give permission if Pinkie was going to use her castle like that. Well that would be easy! Twilight would do it because this was becoming a _major_ friendship problem! Ponies were sad all over town, possibly all over Equestria, because they lost their friend Ryan!

Twilight's residence came into view in a few moments. Didn't it usually take longer to get here? ...oh, yeah, Pinkie was traveling at the speed of laughter. She should name her own form of Sonic Rainboom! Sonic...uh...nah, got nothin' right now. Check back later, kay?

Aaand-

_*SMASH*_

Pinkie flattened against the door to Twilight's castle. Oopsie. She pulled herself out of the paper-thin shape she had become and giggled to herself.

"Heh heh heh...uh, whooops~" she chortled. It took but a second for Pinkie to gather herself and rush inside. Did she knock? Well, she did smash herself flat against the door. Did that count as knocking?

...This was a friendship emergency, it counted. Okay, now to find Twilight. Where could she be? This castle was absolutely ginormic. Main throne room? Nope. Hallways? Nope. Wait, what time was it again?

...Early morning. Silly Pinkie! Twilight sleeps in late all the time! Well, up up up to Twilight's room!

****

Ugh...stupid sun shining in my eyes. Can't a guy just wake up naturally? Uggghhhh mornings. Well, at least this bed is nice and warm.

Wait.

Hold up just a sec.

I just woke up. As in, alive. Conscious once more. And I can still feel warmth. I am NOT dead and this is NOT my bed! What the hell is so warm? It feels like it's wrapped around me. What did I do now? Think, Ryan, think. Okay, memories, line up for roll call. Childhood memories? _Kind of here, sir!_ Good, teenage years? _The sober ones present, sir!_ Fair enough. Hospital memories? _Oh, very present._ Right. Okay, last but not least, memories from last night?

...Memories from last night?

Oh, there they are, crossing the finish line in dead last place. Drop down and give me fifty, memories from last ni-HOLY SHIT I'M CUDDLING WITH TWILIGHT FUCKING SPARKLE. Okay, stay calm. Don't freak out, don't freak out. Just back away slowly from the soft snuggle horse and-

Oh. Twilight was wrapped around me. No biggie. No problemo. Just gotta slide myself slooowly out of her warmth and-

_*BANG BANG BANG BANG*_

"TWILIIIIIIIIGHT!" shouted a voice from somewhere down the hall from Twilight's room. Goddamn was that loud. Might have even been loud enough to wake up-

"Gyah!" was all I heard before I was sent sprawling, the purple Alicorn that had previously been clinging to me now hovering near the ceiling. Luckily I landed on the bed. Didn't want to crack my skull open just as I managed to stay alive. I looked down past my body towards the space that used to hold the door to Twilight's room. A pink blur happened. No, I'm not kidding. That's the best way I could describe the way Pinkie Pie chose to enter. Just, _zooooom_ , to hell with personal space.

Pinkie was on top of Twilight in an instant, riding her. She must have been weightless or some shit, because Twilight just gave her a look of exasperation. It looked like the added pony put no extra strain on the purple pony's wings.

A weird tingling sensation started in my ear. What the hell was that? It was like an annoying buzz but it was getting louder. Was there a bug in there? The buzzing was becoming loud enough for me to start deciphering...words. Oh, it was Pinkie talking. Waaay too fucking fast for my poor human ears. Do ponies need to breathe? Because this little pink thing was becoming strong proof that the answer to that was a big fat 'NO.' Twilight looked just as confused as I felt. Pinkie took a breath.

"It's about Ryan!" she finally managed to say a speed that wasn't ludicrous. My head shot up at this. Ryan was my name. Why did she know my name? Twilight knew my name, probably, she had been shouting it at me when the TV ate me. But why Pinkie? I really needed to know this, so I spoke up.

"What about me?" I asked, staring at the pink terror. Okay, she was still adorable and such, but her antics were scary on the show. To be right there witnessing them...yeesh. Pinkie froze when she heard my voice. She then very slowly turned her head in my direction. Twilight did the same, her eyes widening. Why so surprised, your Highness? It's not like you tried to absorb me with your body while I was sleeping or anything big like that.

"R...Ryan...?" Pinkie choked out. Oh shoot, tears. Not good! What did I do this time?! I didn't get more than half a second to comprehend the situation before I was consumed by pink. It was in my mouth. Oh god, it's in my eyes! Not the pink, not the pink! Aaaaghhhh! I was made aware of her tears as they smeared up against my face and neck. Oh boy, why did I feel like I was tilting? Gravity, don't do this to me! I can't even see!

Gravity did it to me. So I fell off Twilight's original bed and onto the hard floor underneath. Pinkie weighed very little, but it still wasn't pleasant. I was still pretty heavy, after all. I let out an _'Oomph!_ ' and groaned. Pinkie was still wrapped around my head, sobbing loudly. She made it seem like my head was some kind of holy grail and if she let go, it would all but disappear. It might, I don't know.

I was still thinking about the whole soul-being-eaten-by-television thing. I hadn't even _begun_ to process the whole pony thing besides for the fact that I didn't really mind it.

"Pinkie! He can't breathe!" shouted Twilight. I could hear her hooves rushing over to where we lay. It felt like something started tugging at Pinkie, and therefore at my head. Um, ouch, kind of. I sat up, having to use a mental map of my location since I couldn't exactly see. Pinkie's warm, fluffy body remained attached to me in a vice grip. For how light this pony was, she was fucking strong.

Pinkie was finally pried away after a purple mist surrounded her. She didn't fight it after it got hold of her, and let it carry her a few feet away. She was no longer sobbing, but her misty eyes were locked onto me in wonder. How much more crying was I going to cause? Even what I assumed to be a hallucination just consisted of me making adorable ponies cry. I must be a sick bastard.

Then her face did something I didn't expect. It grew. The smile that was spreading across her lips made her head actually grow. Okay, now I'm scared. Before I could manage to run away, she shouted at me.

"I did it! It worked!" she cheered, dancing in her misty air prison. Both Twilight and I were thoroughly confused by this sudden change in behavior. I was more confused because I was surrounded by cartoon ponies. And apparently they had mood swings. Fucking grand.

"Pinkie...what?" Twilight managed to ask. I nodded my head. Might as well let her ask the questions. If Pinkie got excited and clamped onto my face again I might not ever get her off. Pinkie's grin grew and she looked down at Twilight.

"I brought Ryan back with my imaaajeeenashun~!" Pinkie sang. Twilight and I took turns blinking at this. The purple Alicorn made a spinning motion with her hoof, signaling Pinkie to continue. The pink mare did so happily. "I figured that since Ryan was imaginary in the first place, he couldn't die as long as he lived on in our heads instead!"

I took offense to this.

"I am not imaginary!" I huffed, crossing my arms. Silly pink cartoon horse, thinking I was the imaginary one. "You two are from a TV show! You're the imaginary ones! Oh, yeah, Spike too. So, uh, you three!" The two ponies gave me a confused glance. Twilight looked down first, a sadness now emanating from her. She moved closer to me before she leapt up on her back legs, her front ones shooting around my neck in an adorable pony human-esque hug. Without thinking, I reciprocated said hug. Hey, go to hell, hugs are awesome. And these ponies were great huggers.

"Ryan..." she sniffled. Aww, what is it, cute one? "I'm sorry, but...you really are imaginary..." Twilight hugged me harder, trying her best to support me.

What.

I gave her an unimpressed frown. Then I kissed the top of her head. She immediately shot back, looking at me with a face as red as Dash's element. Pinkie was giggling happily behind us, clapping her hooves together in delight. Twilight was frantically searching my face for some kind of clue as to why I did what I did. I realized she wasn't getting my point and sighed.

"Did that really happen?" I asked calmly, watching her. She though for a moment longer than she should have, then nodded. I smirked back to her. "Then I'm not imaginary." She blinked once, then sighed tiredly.

"I get that you're real _now_ , but you _came_ from the mind of somepony," Twilight tried explaining. I shook my head at her. Nope.

"Uh-uh, pretty sure I _came_ from my mom," I countered, my arms still crossed. Look at me, having an argument with a purple pony princess about where I came from. Was this real? Who knows? Twilight gave me a pleading look.

"Please, just work with me here, Ryan. Okay, yeah, that. _We_ ," she stopped for a second, motioning to Pinkie Pie and herself, "both knew your name before you said anything!" I raised my eyebrow. That was what she was starting out with?

"Okay," I began, giving Twilight a few seconds of feeling smart before I continued. "So did I." Twilight tilted her head, sorting through her memories for the reference I was making. Then it hit her.

"Hey! How did you know my name? And Spike's?" she asked, getting loud suddenly. I slid back along the ground, silently hoping she didn't lose control of her magic and turn me into hay or something. I didn't want to get eaten again. The TV was bad enough. Damn I need to get over that shit.

"You were on a TV show that I saw a few times back at the hospital," I explained plainly. Ha! Take that, purple guy. Twilight flinched at the mention of hospital. Wait, did she know about that? And Pinkie Pie said something about me dying! How the hell did they know?

"That's...quite strange, honestly. I want to look more into that, but not right now," Twilight said calmly to me. It seemed she was trying to gauge my reaction, in case I decided to do anything crazy. I don't think she understood how much I just didn't give a flying fuckelberry right now. I still wasn't quite convinced I wasn't dead. And I was becoming more sure than ever that I was just insane. Twilight continued.

"I promise you I'm not lying, Ryan, you're from a story that's been going on for the past 4 years or so. I mean, technically you're famous!" Twilight exclaimed with a hopeful smile. Aha, trying to butter me up, eh? Not going to work here, pony. Not without copious amounts of cuddles that is.

...What? I was still a little tired.

"Yay, famous among cartoon characters!" I cheered sarcastically. Twilight puffed her cheeks in the most adorable display of mock intimidation that I'd ever seen. Must...pinch...those cheeks...

No. I had a better idea.

As she puffed her cheeks to their full size, I pretended to get really scared of her. Not just a whimper or two, either. This was the whole package, included sliding back in panic, covering my eyes and pleading for my life at the hooves of this almighty powerful Alicorn. To top it all off, I went into a fetal position and started fake-crying. Sell it, Ryan, _sell it_.

Twilight's face immediately deflated as she gasped, her front legs covering her mouth. What had she done? Poor Ryan just got zapped into existing and she used her _cheek fluff_ on him! He must be so scared...heh, I'm a genius.

At some point, Twilight's magic wore off and Pinkie was let loose. Her first action was of course to run over and check on me. I could feel her hooves wrapping around me in a supportive cuddle. Jackpot! I sniffled pathetically, turning around to hug her back. I was even shivering! Man am I good at this. Now if only...

_'Oof!'_

There is it. Now I had two brightly colored ponies snuggling the life out of me and it was amazing. Twilight was busy repeating _'sorry_ ' over and over and over again. Pinkie was busy...Pinkie was smelling me for some reason. Whatever, it's Pinkie. I wonder how many other ponies I could possibly get to cuddle with while I was stuck here.

"Twi? You in there?" I heard a southern drawl say from the doorway of Twilight's room. Speak of the devil. I could hear more hooves moving closer. Seemed to be...three more? And the gentle beating of wings accompanied these steps. So maybe four more. Oh, the rest of the Elements were here to cuddle too? The more then merrier! I smiled and sat up, dropping my scared act.

"Hey, guys!" I greeted them enthusiastically. Twilight and Pinkie were still snuggled into me, unaware of the new visitors.

...Oh, they're frozen. That seemed familiar.

_*Thump-Thump-Thump*_

...

_*Thump*_

Cool, I'm five for six in making ponies faint by greeting them. What do I win?


	4. S1E4: This is Happening!

The first thing that Lyra became aware of as she woke was the sharp pain in her head. The sickeningly white light shining right into her eyes was just making it worse. Slowly, her body woke back up, one limb at a time. She was beginning to understand what a tree might feel like if it decided to hop out of the ground and walk away.

Her body was bucking _stiff_. What the hay happened to her? This feeling in her head...it was strange. Wrong. Something important was missing and she couldn't for the life of her figure out what it was. It didn't feel like something small was gone. It was as if bits and pieces of her entire life so far had just up and vanished.

Movement to Lyra's right side caught her attention. In her peripheral vision, she could see the top of something with a dark blue-pink mixture. That was familiar. The blob yawned in the voice of her friend Bon-Bon. Oh no, the blob ate Bonnie! She had to save her best friend!

"I'll save you, Bon-Bon!" Lyra shouted, waving her hooves around in an attempt to roll towards the villainous blob. She managed to turn onto her side just in time to come face to face with her friend. Bon-Bon's expression wore a combination of both concern and exasperation. Lyra looked up at her friend's mane. Dark blue and pink. Ooooh yeaaaah. Lyra smiled sheepishly, a tiny ' _Squee_ ' coming from her.

"Seriously?" Bon-Bon deadpanned towards her bedridden roommate. Lyra grinned a bit wider and nodded. Bonnie sighed, leaning her head back again the wall of the room and thumping it a few times. She did _not_ need this right now. What with all the drama going on around her involving Ryan's death and whatnot. Oh yeah, Lyra didn't know yet.

"Sooo...today became a temporary official holiday," Bon-Bon said out of the blue. Lyra trained her large golden eyes on her friend. Why did Bon-Bon just say that? Where were they anyway? This looked way too white to be their house...oh, goody, hospital. Juuust where she wanted to be when she felt like she was missing part of her mind. This just in, hospitals! The new pick-me-up from the creators of graveyards! Ugh.

"How come?" Lyra yawned. What did it matter to her anyway? She was in the hospital; a perfectly valid excuse to stay in bed. Sure, it was weird, but weird stuff happened all the time. Bon-Bon sighed. The mint Unicorn wasn't getting the point.

"Celestia said it was to give ponies a chance to mourn," Bon-Bon explained. Lyra's ears perked up. Mourn what? Oh no, did someone important die? Princess Luna? Princess Cadance?

...Princess Twilight?! Lyra's eyes shrank. Twilight was her friend! What if she was-

"To mourn Ryan," Bon-Bon finished, her words smacking Lyra back into reality. Wait, what? An entire day to mourn for her character Ryan...but he wasn't even real! Ponies should _not_ be this hurt. It was just a bucking story! The only one who should be feeling bad should be Lyra herself. She's the one who sold her imaginary friend for money and then killed him!

"Th-That's insane!" Lyra shouted in disbelief. Bon-Bon nodded her head solemnly. Bonnie liked the story, but never attached to it the same way so many other ponies had done. Although it did help that her best friend was the creator of said story. If she wanted some Lyra time, she just needed to ask. The other ponies had to _pay_ for it.

Lyra then noticed something. Ryan...he was her character. Right? The one in the hospital. With the stuff, doing the things. She knew that she had killed him, but who was _him_? He was...was he nice? Mean? What did his face look like? She assumed he looked like one of the many human creatures that had been populating her dreams for years, but...who was Ryan?

Her pupils shrank in a slow burning realization. _She couldn't remember Ryan_. The only vague thing she could muster was that he was her character and she had used his death for profit. And apparently her doing so had caused so much pain to the ponies of Equestria that the Princess herself had called for an official holiday to allow those affected to calm down. Lyra's eyes were already shimmering with tears. So _that's_ what was missing. Her memories of Ryan had been taken from her by force. He must have been deeply rooted within her, with how empty she now felt. Was this her punishment for killing him off? What was she supposed to do now? Bon-Bon seemed to finally notice her friend's inner turmoil.

"Lyra, how are you feeling?" asked Bon-Bon, placing a worried hoof on top of Lyra's leg. The mint-flavored pointy headed horse sniffled and blinked her eyes, letting the welling tears fall. They were just making her vision blurrier anyway. Lyra let out a fluttery sigh, followed by a deep breath.

"I can't remember who Ryan was," Lyra said after a few moments. Her voice was one of deep despair and defeat. Bon-Bon tilted her head in confusion. Weren't they just talking about him? How could she forget so suddenly?

"Weren't we just talking about how he-" the cream colored earth pony started.

"I know I killed him!" Lyra said aggressively. Bob-Bon flinched, but it was obvious from Lyra's tone of voice that the anger was directed at herself and not at Bon-Bon. "I know what I did to him, but I can't remember who _he_ was!" She was almost openly crying into the room. Bon-Bon moved closer and embraced her friend tightly. Whatever was going on, it didn't make a lick of sense. Poor Lyra was distraught and Bon-Bon could barely figure out what was happening. Wait...what was that thing Lyra said right before she passed out...?

" _He's gone_ ," Bon-Bon mouthed to herself. Finally, something connected. Whatever had happened to Lyra back during the broadcast, it had taken her detailed memories of who Ryan was. Someone...had been inside Lyra's head, searched around in the few seconds it took, and ripped out every memory of who Ryan was, conveniently leaving some details about what happened at the hospital.

A sudden thought popped back up into Bon-Bon's head. This wasn't going to be fun. She rubbed the back of her head with her hoof and leaned back, taking a breath.

"So, uh...the ponies from OW are going to be stopping by tomorrow..." Bon-Bon said nervously. Lyra's eyes shot back open. Where did her pupils go?

...oh, there they were. They were just _veeeery_ tiny. It took Lyra a few seconds of shuddering and spitting to get her words out.

"W...what?! Why?!" she asked her friend loudly. She did **not** want to have to deal with those foals anytime soon. Besides her not being in the right state of mind, those ponies were just jerks.

"They might have said something about, um...Princess Celestia telling them to bring Ryan back somehow," Bon-Bon said, a nervous chuckle or two escaping her lips. "Apparently Princess Luna is a fan of the show, too."

Oh. Oh, buck.

****

"So...I get that you want to sit down and talk about everything, Ryan," Twilight began, "but do you really have to hug all of my friends while we do it? They're not even awake!" I looked down at the five ponies wrapped around me somehow, all but one snoozing gently. Pinkie was currently hugging my chest tightly, a grin spread across her lips. My hand was scratching her ear, my fingers sometimes running through her mane. I had tried rubbing her head when the cuddle pile started, but quickly stopped when I felt my hand just _going and going_. It was like her pink poof of a mane was bottomless. The last thing I wanted to be eaten by was Pinkie Pie's cotton candy hair. Well, okay, not the last thing, but I'd rather not be eaten again by anything, thank you very much. I took another look around at the four other unconscious ponies snuggled against me in a way that I shared all their warmth. I nodded to Twilight.

"Uh-huh. Hugs make me feel better," I said, calming down for the first time since I got here. The sudden weight of recent events was finally starting to come down onto me. Just to summarize, I had died twice, been separated from my family and friends, Sarah had left me, I had gotten eaten by a TV and now I was somehow inside a world of adorable cartoon midget horses. Oh god, here come the shivers.

Mmm~ This cuddle pile is so warm. Look at Fluttershy sleeping! Aw, they're all so cute! Okay, good. The shivers left. Just got to focus on how warm and amazing these hugs are. I just hope this isn't molestation by pony standards or something. Twilight said it was kind of okay, as long as she was there with me at all times. Does that count as consent? Please don't let me be hug raping these poor ponies right now.

Twilight sighed and levitated a notepad over to where we were sitting on the floor. I had piled up all the ponies on the same mound of blankets and pillows that Twilight, Spike and I had slept in overnight. Spike had awoken a bit earlier and gone down to make some kind of lunch for himself, but not before whispering something to Twilight. The look of suspicion he gave me after pointing at Rarity let me know he was probably asking her to make sure I behaved around his mistress. Don't worry, little dragon. I'll only ravage her precious mane a _little_ bit. Wait, why was Twilight over there? With Spike gone, there was an open spot in the nest! I patted my hand on the spot, giving the purple Princess the ' _Come Hither_ ' look. She blinked before shaking her head.

"Sorry, Ryan, not right now. Can't afford to fall asleep," Twilight explained, blushing a bit. I smirked at her, wiggling my eyebrows in a teasing manner.

"Oh? Am I too comfortable then?" I implied. Twilight's blush grew, but she saw through my teasing. She cleared her throat and nodded the point away, unwilling to fall into my trap any further. Boo, Twilight Sparkle, boo. Ruining my fun. Eh, I guess it was time to get serious anyway. I had to find out just what in the _fuck_ had happened to me. "So...I'm imaginary, you say?" Twilight nodded slowly. She was probably afraid I wouldn't be able to handle what she was going to discuss with me. I'm a big boy, Twilight. An excitable, cuddle-crazed big boy. I could handle anything she could tell me. _Probably_. "Care to explain?" She nodded again.

"Okay, so, um...You're Ryan Burbank, the main character of _OtherWorld_ , a very popular _GemShow_ story," she stopped for a second, looking at me. I had a look of confusion plastered across my face, of course. "It's a kind of light and audio projection that pops up out of an enchanted display gem." Just go with it, this world had magic and shit, after all. "OtherWorld focused around your family and all the stuff you guys have been experiencing for the past few years."

Okay, stop. Repeat? According to Miss Spackle here, I've been being watched by adorable ponies during my everyday life? For _years_? That's...I'm not sure I know what to think about that.

"Twilight...?" I asked, my voice shaking a bit with the rest of me. This was starting to get scary. She gave me a pitying look and nodded her head, prompting me to continue with my question. "Just...how long has the story been going?" Twilight flinched and looked down.

"Eh...Eight seasons...the show last night was the eighth season's finale..." she said, her voice low. Oh. Oh shit. Isn't that, like, a good amount of time? They...those poor ponies saw my teenage years! The horror!

But still, this sounded really weird. If I wasn't currently snuggled in with most of the main cast of characters of a cartoon show about brightly colored ponies, I would have been laughing by now. This world was magic, though. Who's to say they couldn't just peak in on another world and broadcast what they saw?

"Okay, ignoring that for a second, how are you sure I'm imaginary and just not from some other world or something? Maybe they were peeking in on Earth when they were looking for something to show," I offered. Twilight looked up in thought for a moment before lowered her eyes, her head shaking slowly.

"The lines for _GemShow_ products are enchanted to come directly from a Unicorn's mind. Princess Celestia was concerned about them being used as hidden cameras around Equestria so she decreed that they could be sold, as long as they held wards against spying," Twilight explained to me. Okay, that made a bit of sense. So no live feeds. And Twilight _did_ know my first and last names. Was that enough to convince myself I had been being watched for a good chunk of my life? Not really. Question time.

"Okay, you watched the show, you said?" I asked, looking at her attentively. She nodded and lifted her wings, giving me a glimpse of a _very_ familiar looking horse-shaped hoodie covering her front section. How didn't I see that before? Is that...is that the goddamn Federal Boob Investigator hoodie I wore a few years ago?! Okay, Twilight was wearing her F.B.I. hoodie. It was cute on her, but why the hell was she wearing that? Didn't she know what it said? The Alicorn caught onto my laughter very quickly.

"What? What's funny?" she asked, looking down at herself to make sure nothing was on her that she was unaware of. Nope, nothing, just her, her hoodie and a spare feather or two from one of the pillows she had been laying on earlier. I laughed a bit more at her, drawing further confusion.

"Do...* _snrk_ *...do you know what that even says?" I ask her. Twilight tilted her head at me before smiling widely. Well I wasn't expecting the smile, to be honest. Okay, the smile's getting bigger. It's going to be scary in 3...2...oh, god, that's horrifying. Why is she smiling at me like that? I...I need an adult...

"I've always wanted to know, but I'm not familiar with 'English' yet," she said happily. Christmas had apparently came early for little Purple. Well, it probably came last night when she got to meet a character from a show she liked so much that she adorned a hoodie from it without even knowing the meaning of the words plastered on the front. I guess I should just give her what she wanted, so she didn't get too excited and decide to wear my skin as her next piece of show memorabilia. _Yeesh_.

"It says 'Federal Boob Investigator', a play on the F.B.I. from my home world," I explained calmly. Okay, no signs of skin removal yet. I must be doing well. Twilight tilted her adorable purple head. Were ponies in this world evolved from dogs or something?

"Boob?" she inquired. Oh. Oh, this is going to be good. My smirk seemed to make her nervous.

"Mammary gland," was all I said. The Princess looked at me for a second. Then she looked down at her hoodie. Well, _my_ hoodie, but made for her. She didn't tear the thing off in a fit of embarrassment however. Aww, I was kind of looking forward to that. Instead, she just sighed and buried her face in her hoof.

"Of course," she groaned. Heh, that was still pretty amusing. Spackle, you so crazy. Well, the hoodie was a good piece of evidence of two things. The first was that I had indeed been watched, and for quite awhile, too. I hadn't worn that hoodie in quite awhile. The hoodie I was currently wearing was just a plain grey one, similar to one I had back at the cabin. The second thing the hoodie supported was that I was involved in some sort of largely-viewed television show for ponies. That hoodie had a logo at the bottom that hadn't been there when I owned it. I would bet anything that it belonged to whatever company aired...what was it called... _OtherSide_? Something like that. So I had merchandise based off of me. Interesting. Well, they were watching me, that much was clear. Just how much though? Time for the true test.

"Hey, Twilight," I asked. She looked up at me, her annoyed expression dropping.

"Yes, Ryan?" Let's see how much you really know, purple pony princess.

"Have you every heard the story about the asparagus plants?" I asked, very calmly as to not tip her off. Sure, she had probably seen me scream the summary in the hospital, but did she know the true horror of the full story? Moment of truth right here.

Her eyes widened and her whole body went rigid. Before I could say anything else, I felt as if my mouth had become a zipper that was zipped shut _tightly_. Holy fucking shit, she knew.

"NO! Nononononoooo!" she screamed, covering her ears. Um, Twilight? I can't say anything. My new zipperface can attest to that. I gave her an annoyed look but she gave one right back, her hooves still smashing her ears against her head. Oh boy, was I about to be scolded?

"Do NOT start. I'll let you talk only IF you promise to not tell it!" she shouted. Easy, down girl. I can hear you just fine. It's my mouth you closed, not my ears. I sighed through my nose and nodded. A moment later, the zipper was unzipped and replaced with my lips once again. Fucking hell, magic felt weird. I hope they sell chap stick somewhere around here. My lips were dry as hell now.

Well, I guess that solved that. She knew the horror of the asparagus plant story. When was the last time I told that in its entirety? Hell, had to have been at least a year or two ago, and to only one person in private. That guy deserved it though, he tried harassing Emily at school. Emily liked to think she was my guardian, but she was still my little sister. Still amazing how I could put a guy in the hospital without touching him. The power of asparagus compelled him a _bit_ too much. Anyway, moving on.

"Okay, Twilight, I'm convinced that I may have been part of some show that you ponies watched," I started. She smiled and let out a sigh of relief. What, was she expecting me to attack her over this new information? That's not the way I roll, homegirl. "However, I still don't believe that I'm just imaginary. I have memories, family, and all that stuff. I was _aware_ of myself, Twilight. The screams you probably heard last night? Yeah, I _felt_ that pain. It's real to me, Twi."

Twilight stopped using the quill I just noticed she was using. How did she do that? Was she writing the whole time? Urgh, magic. The Alicorn looked at me sadly, but said nothing. Instead, she set her supplies down on the floor and got up. She then slowly moved to me and joined me in the pile of sleeping ponies. I didn't feel all that great about the way she was acting. I felt like Lennie right before George shot him in the back of the head.

I watched as Twilight settled herself down in the spot I had offered her earlier. And then the snuggled pile was complete. I now had the six main characters of the show with me. Well, was it even a show? Was I the show? How did I-

"Hey, Twilight, I've been meaning to ask..." I said softly. My hand had found its way to the purple pony's ear and started scratching softly. Oh geez, I think I heard her purring. She looked up at me with her large shimmering orbs of white and lavender.

"Yes?" Her voice was a lot calmer now that she wasn't in study session mode. I liked this more, it was a lot more comforting. And it wasn't just because she was snuggled up against me along with her five friends. She was talking to me more like a friend and less of a parent trying to tell their child that the family dog just got hit by a car.

"How did I even get here? I mean...I was dying. I remember dying, then the television did a thing, and poof, I'm here in your room. What happened?" This question had been bothering me since I had become stable enough to think of it. Twilight's gaze traveled to the front of the room, which was for some reason covered with many shards of...some kind of glass thing maybe? Her hooves fidgeted nervously, like she was now thinking about something she had so far been oppressing. After a few moments, she took a breath and began.

"I...I did something. I don't know what, it was just...when I saw you dying, I kinda...heh...lost it, I guess," Twilight was shivering a little, so I pulled her a little closer to share the warmth. She gave me a guilty smile and continued. "I think it was some kind of teleportation spell? Maybe mixed with a summoning spell. All I know at this point was that I shouldn't have been able to bring you out of someone's mind like that. Magic or not, it should have been impossible. What I did was probably very...very...illegal..."

Twilight's eyes had slowly widened towards the end of her explanation. Her shivering had returned, even worse than it was before. Okay, now she was starting to worry me. I mean, since I wasn't convinced yet that I was imaginary, the teleportation theory seemed likely. Why was she freaking out? She had apparently saved my life! I was still alive! And now all I had to do was find a way back to my family to tell them myself that ponies were awesome at cuddling. Wait...

"Princess Celestia is going...to kill me..." Twilight squeaked. The tears were falling now. Crap, that will not be tolerated! No more tears around me, I've had enough to last a few thousand lifetimes. I quickly pulled the trembling pony onto my chest and hugged her tightly. Well now I'm covered in pony tears. Oh well, as long as it makes her feel somewhat better.

"She is NOT going to kill you, you silly pony," I shushed. I was rubbing her head again, hoping it had the same calming effect that it did for Sarah. Apparently it was far more dangerous here. Twilight was falling asleep in my arms. Should I let her? No, it's not good to go to sleep scared for your life. I think. A quick ' _boop_ ' to the nose woke her up. She sniffled and scrunched her face a few times, her eyes crossing to look down at her muzzle.

"Twilight, you saved my life! Why would she be mad at you?" I asked, trying to very best to give her a supportive smile. It didn't work out that well. Better luck next time.

"Because I didn't save your life!" Twilight said loudly. "I created it! You were just an idea, and I must have...oh buck, I must have ripped you out of the original storyteller!" Twilight was shouting at this point. The ponies around us groaned and moved a little bit, but stayed asleep. Good, I had enough on my plate with Twilight, I don't think I could handle a raging Alicorn princess AND a group of ponies probably amazed that I existed. I could deal with that later. Right now was Twi time. She needed a way out of his funk. I knew the proper trigger word that could make this whole issue end, but I wanted to ease Twilight into the idea.

"Hey, Twilight, just curious," I said, getting her attention, "how popular was the show?" Twilight blinked away some tears before answering me. Poor little pony...she looked so damn vulnerable like this. It's a good thing I had seen how powerful she was, or I might have taken her for a weakling.

"Very...very popular..." she sniffled. I nodded. "You were...everypony's favorite..." Hmm, was that so? That might make it easier then. I needed to get help. If I was alive, I was going home. My home wasn't just inside some other pony's head, that was stupid. Maybe Princess Celestia could help? She was old as fuck, probably knew the most about magic too. But I doubt she would trust some random monkey thing that her personal student had pried out of another world. What I needed was a way to show her that I was both harmless and the same creature from a massively popular story. Easy enough, right? Luckily enough I had a secret weapon that could help me do just that. I just hope that Twilight would let me do this.

"Okay, I might have an idea to help this whole thing, but I'm not sure if you're going to like the first step," I said to her. She swallowed nervously and nodded, gesturing for me to go on. I sighed and looked down at Pinkie. Good, she was still asleep. I looked back up to Twilight and leaned as close to her ear as I could without making out with it. She was confused at first, but leaned in to help me. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing to lean upwards when I was covered in sleeping equines that I really didn't want to wake yet. I even covered the area surrounding my mouth with my hands so that some of the sound got locked in.

"I want to have a party," I whispered into Twilight's ear. It was said so softly that I myself barely heard it. That didn't stop Pinkie Pie from shoving her fucking face right into mine, her eyes blinking excitedly. Her grin was frighteningly huge. Wasn't this pony just sleeping?! How did she...no, don't think about it. It can't hurt you if you don't think about it.

"Ooh!~ That's just what I was thinking!" Pinkie proclaimed loudly. Goddamn it, Pinkie Pie. Well that did it. The other four ponies started to move around, their consciousnesses returning. Oh, here we go.

****

Rainbow Dash groaned out loud. Buck, her head was _killing_ her! What did she hit it on? It wasn't the internal pain that came with a hangover. Nah, it was just sore. But why? What did she do to herself this time? She slowly opened her eyes, trying to keep the light out. Her pondering about her previous actions was halted when she spotted her friends laying around next to her. Where were they? What's up with all the pillows? What's this big warm thing that they're all...oh.

_*SQUAWK!*_

Rainbow let out a very bird-like squeak and shot out of the pile of stirring ponies, flying like a dart to the corner wall. That couldn't have been right. Her eyes were broken or something. She was just seeing things. In her desperation, she sat on her flank and rubbed her eyes vigorously with her front hooves. Was the world back to making sense yet? Nope. Try as she might, she couldn't rid herself of the sight displayed before her.

There in front of her, surrounded by all five of her friends, sat Ryan bucking Burbank. The giant hooman just sat there, patiently watching her with gentle eyes. What was he doing here? How?! But...he was dead! And not real! But he was obviously real, he was just sitting there! He was slowly petting Pinkie's mane, to which the pink mare responded by letting out content moans. Okay, so whatever he was, if it even was Ryan from _OtherWorld_ , didn't seem to want to hurt her or her friends. Ryan would never hurt them...okay, so it might be the real Ryan. She took a few steps closer. The maybe-Ryan thing smiled kindly at her.

What if it really was him...? He was right there, smiling happily. He wasn't screaming in pain anymore, wasn't crying, wasn't passing away while his family hugged him. This...if it was the real deal...was awesome. It sent a surge of emotion through her body that almost made her choke up. Almost.

A flurry of movement erupted from where Ryan was sitting, capturing Dash's attention. Something pink and yellow had latched itself to the large man's chest, giving him a scare. He let out a ' _Gah!_ ' that awoke Rarity and Applejack from whatever sleep they had still been experiencing.

"Ryan!" squeaked Fluttershy louder than any of them had ever heard her become, "It's you it's you it's you it's you it's really you!" She was giggling her little heart out, not a tear to be seen. Ryan appeared confused as all Tartarus at first, but quickly wrapped his powerful monkey arms around the pony on his chest. His face broke out into a wide grin as he cuddled Fluttershy for all he was worth.

Applejack and Rarity sat there in the same positions they had slept in, gaping at the hooman that they were snuggled into. When had that happened?! They just remembered walking into Twilight's room, then...nothing! Just boom, bang, cuddling with a being they assumed was both dead and fictional! Rarity made the first sign of life between the two.

"It's just like the show..." she muttered under her breath. Ryan turned his head to face her, despite the yellow cuddle terror that was busy assaulting his torso. He tilted his head at her, apparently unsure of how to process her words. Rarity stood up on trembling legs, taking a couple steps towards Ryan before she was right on him. The confused man watched her warily, ready to bolt if she tried attacking. It was then that her eyes wandered down towards his bottom half.

Rarity then flopped down onto Ryan's lap and rubbed her body all over his jeans. His face grew red immediately and he tried squirming away from her, but Fluttershy was holding on too tightly to allow much movement. Rarity's hooves felt all over the length of the poor man's pants, taking in the sweet feeling of denim.

"Oooh it's sooo gooooood~" she sang to herself, images of all the new designs she could create with this strange material popping into her head. It's a good thing she just got some sleep, for she would get none tonight with all the ideas she just _had_ to copy down for later projects.

Ryan was struggling his hardest to get away from the invasive white pony that was currently molesting him. This was _not_ right. She had already brushed up against his little Jimmy a few times with her hooves, and _man_ was that more pleasant than it should have been. Pinkie then decided to pink up his day by latching onto him from behind, her legs wrapping around his neck. He make a choking sound and fell backwards, now covered with three warm, touchy ponies.

"PONY PILE!" Pinkie shouted, her war cry filling the room. From the other side of the room, Dash zoomed quickly over and joined in, laughing the whole time. Oh boy, Ryan was in for it now. Four ponies assaulting him from all angles, refusing to allow him anything remotely resembling movement.

Twilight had backed off before that point, watching the scene with wide-open eyes. Sweet Celestia, she was not expecting that. They were all so happy! Not even worried how he had came to be! She was almost expecting-

"Twilight, what'd y'all do now?"

There it was. Applejack had parked her rump down next to her purple friend. Good ol' Applejack, always there to let Twilight know when she bucked up royally. The Alicorn gave a guilty smile to her friend. The orange cowpony sighed and looked back to the pile, which had devolved into Ryan trying his best to escape from his prison, yelling something about 'Rodney King.' Whatever the hay that was.

"Ya gotta tell the Princess bout this, Twi," Applejack went on. Twilight nodded and sighed in defeat.

"Yeah, we know...she's going to be so mad..." Twilight fretted, her front hooves shuffled nervously along her floor. Applejack nodded once, her eyes still locked on the mayhem going on a few feet away from them.

"You reckon ya got a plan yet?" asked the middle Apple child. Twilight gave a shrug.

"Ryan says he thinks a party would help. Not sure what good it would-" she was cut off by her friend suddenly.

"Sounds 'bout right," Applejack stated. Twilight turned to her friend with a look of disbelief on her face. Why was Applejack agreeing with him? This was crazy! They needed to stay hidden for now! At least until a proper plan could be formulated...

"How does a party 'sound about right'?!" Twilight asked with exasperation. Applejack smiled and waited for it. Uttering words like that around the Super Duper Party Pony was just asking for it. And there she was. Pinkie was standing on top of Twilight's head now, causing the Princess to let out a surprised ' _eep!_ ', almost akin to how Fluttershy usually was.

"That's easy, Twilight! We just invite every sad pony in Ponyville to a party so they see Ryan! Ponyville gets to be happy again and Ryan gets to prove that he's not here to hurt anypony! Then Celestia could help us without worrying about him!" Pinkie shouted down to the pony she was currently standing on. Twilight looked up to her pink friend in confusion.

"Sad ponies?" Twilight inquired to her new hat. The Princess hasn't been outside since the episode aired. Had something been going on without her knowing? Applejack gave her a 'really?' look.

"Yeah, sad ponies. The town took his death purdy hard, Twi. No, not jus tha town, a good chunk a Equestria's been down since last night," Applejack explained. Twilight took a step back, causing Pinkie to giggle and sway around on her head. Applejack continued, "Princess Celestia pretty much canceled everythang. Said today's a holiday." The color in Twilight's face drained. This was getting out of hoof.

Okay, so a good portion of Equestria was sad and mopey because a character from a fictitious story they all loved had been killed. That sounded weird, but Twilight couldn't blame them. At least they hadn't dug around inside the mind of the storyteller and ripped the character out by force...

So they were sad because they thought he was dead. But he was right here in the room with them, alive and well. At least, he _was_ , the last time she could see him under the mountain of pony he was currently trapped under. Was he even struggling anymore?

...Yep, there's a hand. Oop, now Fluttershy's got a hold of it. A foot escaped after and was quickly enveloped in Rarity's magic and pulled back in. Well at least he can breathe.

...Right?

Okay, maybe a party wasn't such a bad idea. Ponyville needed to cheer up and Ryan didn't seem to mind the contact. Twilight was sure that if he really wanted to, he could escape that pile easily with his violent human mind and brute strength. As it was, he was just playing along with the rest of the Elements, soaking in the cuddles that were being given. Underneath the often vulgar and teasing humor he had, Ryan was such a sweetheart...

"Okay," Twilight sighed, "Party it is then." Applejack gave an encouraging shove and smiled at her.

"C'mon, everythang will be fine, Twilight, jus you wait," the orange mare said before taking off and joining the pile. Ryan had very nearly escaped, and was now holding onto the base of Twilight's bed desperately. The charging cowpony made short work of his grip and he was sent flying back into the mass of cuddles.

" _NOOOO!_ " Ryan wailed as he was sucked back into hell. Twilight rolled her eyes and smirked at his antics before getting herself up and trotting over to help her friends. Big strong human, meet tiny purple horse with god-powers.

" _SCREW YOU ALLLL!~_ " were Ryan's final words before he was consumed once more.

****

Princess Luna was currently locked in an intense staring contest with the wall on the other side of the room. Scarily enough, she seemed to be winning. She had barely moved for hours. Her body was stuck; lost in another battle against her mind. Why couldn't she have been smarter? She should have been able to alter it, she had done it before.

She couldn't stop the memories as they came once again.

_Ryan's thrashing body. His heart monitor going flat. The doctors barely being able to revive him. All of this had happened right in front of her eyes. She had been too surprised by the events at the time to even think about changing the direction that Miss Lyra Heartstrings had apparently wanted to take the story. The only thing she thought to do was to run away from the hospital, crying the whole way. She hadn't dropped her human appearance until she was well away from where Lyra was busy concentrating. She had done it again. She had let Lyra surprise her, causing the Princess to alter the events in a way she hadn't prepared to. What if she was supposed to stay at the hospital with her Ryan? Lyra would be more aware now, and would focus harder making sure the events happened according to plan._

_She couldn't reveal herself, especially now. This was the_ season finale _. Hundreds of thousands of ponies would be watching! What would they think if they saw the main character's love interest suddenly turn back into the ancient Princess of the Night she truly was? Her beloved sister alone would shout her eardrums into oblivion. Well, either that or send her to the moon for a week. Both thoughts made Princess Luna shiver._

_No, she would just have to stay away and hidden. If Lyra put her focus back on who she assumed to be Sarah, and had instead found the Princess, who knows what would happen? The shock alone would probably be enough to jolt Lyra awake and end the broadcast. Of course, it would only end right after showing the flushed and guilty face of the blue Princess. She was trapped for the time being, waiting to see if Lyra would allow 'her' character to leave the scene for now. Just to be safe, Luna adorned herself in her human body once again._

_If she had been a few seconds slower with raising her disguise, she would have been discovered. Princess Luna felt a gentle tugging on her consciousness. Lyra was trying to pull her back to the hospital and right the wrong that had been created. Luna could not risk it further, Lyra seemed to be unstable with herself. Was she doing this against her will? No, it would be unwise to remain in the spotlight. She wanted to be there for her Ryan, but he was going to be fine now. The doctors were there to help him. The scare was over._

_Princess Luna gently whispered some words into the mind of Miss Heartstrings to convince her to leave Sarah alone. Lyra immediately went to work with mending those words into the story, thinking them to have been from her own imagination. Good, she was taking the decoy. Hopefully she wouldn't bother Luna again until the show was over and it would be safe to leave Lyra's mind. The Princess shifted her environment until she was sitting on the couch in the cabin belonging to herself and her lover. She would just have to wait here for however much longer it took for the broadcast to end...how grand._

_The outside of her cabin was subjected to a few changes in lighting over the time she sat there, waiting. Why was Lyra skipping days so quickly? Surely she couldn't be-_

_He's gone._

_Oh Sister of the Sun, Lyra killed him. The fool actually had the nerve to kill her Ryan! All of the absurdly real emotions that came from the part of Lyra's imagination that controlled Ryan had just been muted. He wasn't erased, this was closer to being stamped into silence. The imprint upon Lyra's mind that Ryan had left was still there, but his actual presence was no longer there. Heartstrings just took a figment of imagination with enough emotional detail to almost be sentient and she had murdered it._

_Luna wanted to be mad, but all she could feel was loss. Ryan, or the collection of random thoughts and emotions that made him up, was her closest friend. True, it was strange to have another pony's imaginary friend as a best friend and...erm, lover, but Ryan was different. Hay, Lyra was different. She dreamed in more detail than any other the blue alicorn had ever seen. At night, between battles involving nightmares, she would stop by Lyra's dreams to visit Ryan. He was the always so nice to her...always joking and trying to cheer her up. Nopony else made such an effort to keep her happy. She latched onto him in a way she later found out many others had done through their viewings of the strange show 'OtherWorld.'_

_It had been her mistake of involving herself once again with Ryan during an episode about two years prior to this night. Lyra's subconscious latched onto her character and involved her in the story. That was certainly strange to the invasive Princess. But oh well, might at well go along with it. She could spend more time with Ryan and she would be a somewhat-celebrity! Sure, her subjects would be unaware it was their princess in there, but it would still be nice to be liked for personality other than appearance. So, for the last two years, Luna played along with the show, investing in her own 'GemShow' gem for her room. She didn't need it, since she spent each episode tapped directly into the storyteller herself. The gem was more to convince her sister she was actually just watching the show instead of living it._

_Lyra was not a perfect storyteller, however, and Luna often had to plug the leaks between the minty mare's memories and the ideas for OtherWorld for her. Most of these leaks happened through rough pieces of technology that Lyra had created called 'Teevees.' She simply couldn't let Ryan view some of the events that had taken place in Equestria. If Ryan became aware of Luna's true self and the story surrounding her, how could she ever hope to one day reveal herself? Not that it mattered anymore..._

_As she remembered all the times she had spent with Ryan, she thought of all the time trying to protect him that had been for nothing now. No, that was wrong. He was real enough for her. She had seen his face every morning when she was there with him, he was happy. It was just really lucky at the time that Luna's sleep schedule was the opposite of Lyra's. That way, she could be awake while Lyra was sleeping. Lyra always dreamed of her world. In the off chance that she didn't, the Princess would just give her that little shove towards it. It wasn't mind manipulation if the location belonged to the host, right?_

_A warm wetness was growing under Luna's eyes. She had been feeling this moisture too much in the past few weeks. The Princess had tried to deter Lyra's mind from going through with its plans, but Miss Heartstrings was nothing if not determined. Why? Why did she want her Ryan dead so badly? It was all the more heartbreaking every other night of the week when Ryan was back at the cabin with Luna, seemingly unaware of the disaster coming. It was almost like...the Ryan during the episode was another Ryan entirely. What was going on in the mind of the storyteller? To see her love happy one day then dying and crippled the next, was often too much for the poor Princess, regardless of her age and experience._

_And now he was gone. Murdered by the one that had created him. Another one of Luna's loved ones had been ripped away from her by force. That was it. Time to snap. And snap she did._

_Not a piece of furniture in the cabin had been spared. Everything was gone, the doors, the windows, the couch, fridge, everything. Luna was a master of destructive rage when the situation called for it. And this situation what practically made for that rage. Only after the damage was done, when nothing could be more ruined, did Luna let herself cry out._

_The corner of the room had been mostly empty before the Lunanado had struck, so it was relatively clear of litter. This was the corner she chose to curl up and cry in. Why her? Why Ryan? Was every entity that showed an interest in being her friend doomed to suffer? It was too much for the Princess of the Night to handle. Too many times had this happened and no tears had been shed. Luna was done being the immortal about this. She needed to let some of this pain out._

_A few minutes after she started crying, she felt a presence watching her. Oh Mare in the Moon, she was being projected! She tried to feel what direction Lyra wished for her, but her mind seemed content to let the poor human cry in the corner. The only difference was the addition of some small piece of...plastic? It was now in her hand, but she dare not look at it. She just continued to cry to herself. It wasn't even acting, she was still breaking down._

_After a few moments of the scene focusing on poor Luna, the projection was lifted. Finally, Luna could sit up. Lyra's consciousness lifted and she was awake once more. The Princess curled her weird legs to her chest, squishing them against the fleshy mounds that Ryan had loved so much. She sniffled to herself quietly for a few moments. What did Lyra even plant in her hand? It was a small and oddly shaped white stick, with the only color coming from the '+' mark on it. Wait..._

_...That's bucking ridiculous. She was not pregnant! Ryan had never mated with her! Ugh, that was just manipulative. Poor form, Lyra. Oh well, it's not like Luna had to come back anymore, she wouldn't be the figment that would bear the virgin pregnancy. Without Ryan, Luna had no reason to come back here again._

_She was about to pop herself out from the realm when she was forcefully ejected back into her own body._

Luna wasn't sure what caused the sudden shut down. All she knew was that when she tried to enter again, she found Lyra's mind in an unconscious state. She had tried digging around for Ryan without the fear of being discovered, but he was just...gone.

He was now erased, along with every memory of him except for the hospital situation. The Princess was at a loss. She might have been able to transfer the details of Ryan's being to her own mind if she had the memories, but had no longer been possible. Whoever stole him had done so very quickly and violently and left no trace. She would have to look into this very disturbing act, but for right now...

...She just wanted to be alone with herself. Oh, look, it's time to raise the moon again. That's nice. For the first time since coming back from the moon, she felt absolutely alone. Not even her sister could help her, she would get angry for what Luna had been doing. Oh, well. Perhaps she could take her frustrations out on some nightmares...

Ah, there's one. Off to Ponyville once more to ease some poor pony's slumber.


	5. S1E5: Meet and Greet

The Elements had decided that it would be best to give the new resident 'human' the grand tour of the castle while Pinkie Pie left to get things sorted out for the party tonight. Pinkie might have been Ponyville's premiere Super Duper Party Pony, but gathering supplies to support a town's worth of ponies, notifying the ponies themselves, and getting those mopey ponies out of their houses all by sundown was not going to be easy. She would have to travel at double the speed of laughter in order to complete this mission!

The five other ponies were walking (well, four ponies since Dash chose to fly) together down the lengthy crystal hallway. At first there was silence. Then there was Rainbow Dash.

"So, what's up with you, y'know, existing?" she asked plainly, flapping along lazily over the group. The other Elements that were present all turned to look up at her with horror.

" **DASH!** " scolded Applejack, Twilight and Rarity at once. Fluttershy just gave her a stern look of disappointment. Ryan, however, was laughing. Pretty bucking hard, too. Like, tears running down his face, crouched over, unable to breathe hard. The ponies all turned to watch him for the few minutes it took for his body to stop convulsing. They were actually starting to get worried about him when he took a deep breath, letting the others know he was about to speak.

"Heh, ask your friend Fleshlight Spankle over here," he said, placing his hand on Twilight's head and giving her mane a tussle. She batted his hand away immediately and looked up at him with a red face, her cheeks threatening to puff out. He noticed this and feigned fear, falling onto his butt and sliding away in a panicked fashion. The surrounding ponies gasped and rushed to him. What was going on? Why was he so scared of Twilight's cheek puff? They surrounded the shivering human and embraced him all at once. Twilight had a look of dawning realization on her face before she let her cheeks deflate.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" she exclaimed guiltily, trying to move closer to Ryan. He just squirmed to get farther away. The other Elements gave the Princess of look of suspicion. What had Twilight done to the poor human to make him so afraid of her? Twilight flinched and tried waving her hooves around to signal her innocence. "I didn't-"

"Twilight, no more! Look at him! He's scared!" Fluttershy defended in her dainty voice. She wasn't yelling, but her tone was very stern. Twilight sighed and looked down in defeat. She stayed quiet while Fluttershy cooed softly to Ryan. He stopped shaking after a few seconds and looked up to Twilight.

"I'm...I'm sorry, it's just...too...cute..." Ryan choked out. Well _that_ caught them all off-guard. They turned to look at him, perplexed by his words. What was going on? Did cute things scare him? He had looked absolutely terrified! It was then that Ryan dropped his look of fear and slid forward, wrapping his arms around Twilight and pulling her into the hug. She responded with ' _eep!_ ' and let the big man pull her around as if she was barely even there. Now he's snuggling her, too. Oh, look, now he's laughing. Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Dash took a few moments to register what had happened. Dash was on the ground now.

"Bwaaahahahaha!" she snorted, rolling around. Twilight was so shocked by the sudden action that she instinctively puffed her cheeks up to their full width. The other ponies watched intently at this, even the now-silent Dash. What was he going to do? That was a super cheek puff! The one that had scared him a minute ago had barely formed. He stood no chance...

To their shock, he laughed again and lifted a hand to Twilight's face, squeezing her cheeks and pushing the air out. The purple pony's face deflated quickly and she returned to her normal self. What? He wasn't even bothered by it now! It seemed like he liked it! This Ryan was a confusing character for sure...but then again, they already knew that. They had been watching him for years, and now that they thought about it...this was just like him. He was always confusing his friends and family with his jokes. Why would they be exempt? Applejack sighed and put her hoof to her face.

"Ryan, ya gotta be serious for a lil' whal," she groaned. "Ya gotta know how ta get 'round here so you don get lost!"

The mirthful human looked around to her, his laughter stopping. His gaze then moved about the hallway, taking in its sheer size. Applejack had a point, this place _was_ humongous. If the girls weren't there to show him around, he probably would have locked himself in a closet on accident or something like that. He looked back down at the pony in his grasp and sighed.

"Alright, yeah, sorry. Just couldn't help myself..." he said sheepishly. "You guys are seriously the most adorable things ever. When you do things to make yourselves even cuter, I can't help but...just..." Ryan's voice trailed off. The Elements waiting for him to continue, but he just sat there. His eyes were staring at the far wall, glazed over. He looked like he was very faintly trying to say something, but no words were coming out. Twilight studied his face, trying to figure out what the hay was going on with him.

"Ryan?" Her voice was gentle, but filled with worry. He hadn't done this before. A response didn't come from the frozen human. His body just sat there, frozen in place. The other Elements gathered themselves once more and examined him.

"You awright there, sugarcube?" Applejack asked. No response. She put her one hoof on his shoulder and shook him gently. Nothing. Okay, now this was getting scary for them. Rarity tried next.

"Ryan, darling, please say something," she pleaded. His left eye twitched a bit but otherwise he was motionless. Rarity began to fidget around on her hooves, unsure how to help. What was she supposed to do? He had spaced out on the show before, but he was always easily brought back to reality by his loved ones.

Rainbow tried her luck next. Her attempt consisted of her hoof meeting the center of Ryan's back violently. The reaction was almost instantaneous. His head shot back and his face scrunched up into a pained grimace. What was going on?!

"AHH-CHOOO!" Ryan flew backwards into the far wall, the force from his nasal attack scattering the ponies that had been surrounding him. The poor man's body impacted the crystal wall so hard that a loud ' _crack_ ' could be heard echoing in the hall. His body just cracked crystal! Ryan slid slowly down until he was slumped over, rubbing the back of his head. It took mere seconds for the Elements of Harmony to gather themselves and rush over to the recent projectile. Before they could try moving him, he looked up with an embarrassed grin.

"Heh...'scuse me," he said weakly. The ponies gaped at him. He had flung himself back hard enough to crack solid crystal and his best response to it was ' _excuse me_ '?! Twilight stomped her hoof and yelled at him.

"RYAN! What just happened?!" she demanded. Ryan flinched and held his hands up in a ' _don't taze me, bro_ ' gesture. He was moving his arms around as if nothing had happened at all. What was he made out of?

"Beats me. Are sneezes around here powered by magic or something?" he asked, rubbing his nose. Twilight could feel something...tingly in the air. What was that? I was really...familiar. Then it hit her.

 _That was Twilight's magic floating around them!_ A very large amount of her signature magical force was still twinkling in the hallway, almost like a miniature map to the stars. Twilight's friends all looked around in wonder at the aura floating around them. Rarity wanted so desperately to bottle up the display and take it with her. They had their very own light show going on right in front of them!

Rainbow Dash took this opportunity to float up to where some of the stars were still twinkling. She extended a cautious hoof to touch one. It swirled around her leg for a few moments, as if it were trying to hug her. Dash could feel how familiar it was, just the same as Twilight had. This was Twilight's magical force that was circling her. But where did it come from? Twilight had never left this much residue before...

The five mares looked to their new friend, who had finally managed to stand himself back up. Multiple cracks could be heard as Ryan twisted his back around a bit, loosening himself up. The sound made every mare flinch. That was...ew. Was he okay? That sure didn't sound healthy, but he _seemed_ fine. But what had happened? He sneezed and then...the...magic...

Twilight gasped out loud. The magic had came from _him_! Somehow he had sneezed out her magic!

....Okay, that sounded really stupid, but that's what happened. The lavender princess looked up at the slowly fading haze of sparkles and magic residue. The largest cloud was right where Ryan had originally been standing, and it got smaller and smaller until it reached where he had been launched. This was getting too weird. The ponies watched as the cloud eventually faded away to nothing. Rarity took this time to restore her mane to its former glory. That explosion had absolutely _ruined_ it!

Twilight gave a nervous shudder but didn't say anything. She knew that they needed to talk to Princess Celestia as soon as possible. However, she didn't want the Princess making assumptions and attacking Ryan...so the party still needed to happen. Ugh, this was all so confusing! What was happening to Ryan? Why did he sneeze her magical residue out? Why did it cause an explosion? Whatever it was, it was not good. She would have to keep a really close watch over her human friend until help could be received. Twilight was just really glad at the moment that nopony had gotten hurt.

****

That was the weirdest shit. Okay, one more rundown for now. Colorful ponies, magic, shows starring me, might be imaginary, might be dead, and now explosive sneezing. Fucking hell, life! Got anything else to throw at me? No, really, go ahead. Make my day, I'm right here waiting for you. No? Oh, great, now the ponies are staying away from me.

That last thing kind of hurt. I know I was technically now fully capable of snot rockets, but that wasn't my fault. I didn't ask for that. Wasn't I in a cuddle pile with these cute little ponies just a little while ago? I want to go back to that...I was comfy. Now they were purposely walking at least a few feet away from me at all times. None of them dared make contact over apparent fear of getting sneezed to death. I even caught Dash giving me nervous glances every so often.

Yeah, thanks guys...I get killed, sucked into another world, told I was being watched by ponies, and informed I wasn't even real to begin with. The last thing I needed right now was for my support to crumble. My humor could only stand up so long before my pondering got the better of me. What if I couldn't go home? What if the Princess still thought I was dangerous after the party and banished me or something? What if...what if they were right and I really wasn't real? That would mean that my home was just somewhere in some pony's brain...

No, I couldn't think like that. I needed to stay focused. The Princess could help me. She was really close to Twilight, right? She wouldn't just hurt someone that Twilight cared about a lot...

Hey, where did the ponies go? When did I stop walking? The only things that I could see all around me were hallways and entrances to other hallways.

Oh god damn it.

****

The five mares walked on, all stuck in deep thought. What was happening to poor Ryan? After everything that had happened to him, now this? Rainbow Dash bumped into the ceiling a few times, too lost in her musings to notice how high she was flying. This time, she smacked her head harder than she had previously. The shock was enough to wake her up and make her shake her head. Where was she? Oh, yeah. She was with her friends, showing Ryan the castle.

She looked down at her friends, taking in their actions. Twilight was walking stiffly, her mane becoming a bit disheveled. Uh oh. Dash knew that look. She just hoped Twilight didn't completely lose it again. Fluttershy was walking along, shivering slightly. She had been launched the farthest by Ryan's sneeze and it was a miracle she hadn't gotten hurt. Poor Flutters, that must have scared the hay out of her. Rarity was still levitating a brush through her luxurious mane, seemingly oblivious to the world around her. Applejack looked okay, but she was probably as deep in thought as Twilight. The orange cowpony just knew how to hide her emotions better. And Ryan was...wait.

"Ryan?" she called down, turning around in midair and looking back down the hallway that had just came from. Ryan was nowhere to be seen. The other mares stopped and looked around, broken from their individual trances. Where had Ryan gone?

The color drained from Twilight's face as soon as she saw that he was missing. Now there was a potentially explosive human lost in her castle. Perfect. The Elements looked between each other and nodded. They split up into three teams, with Twilight working on her own since she lived there and knew it the best. Applejack teamed up with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy with Rarity. Twilight teleported herself to her room and began from there. They needed to find Ryan. Who knows what could have happened to him? Vague images of a charred crater littered with bits of human clothing floated across the alicorn's vision. No! She was _not_ going to let that happen to him!

Rainbow and Applejack took off down the hallway they had previously traveled through, Rarity and Fluttershy following right behind. They stayed together until a fork in the hallways.

"Okay, you guys go left and we'll go right," Rainbow directed, "and if you find him before Applejack and I do, uh...Rarity, just give the rest of us some sort of signal, got it?" Rarity lit her horn and created a ball of light that floated along next to her. With a swish of her horn, the ball floated over to Applejack and took watch over her.

"I'll just flash this light if we find anything, darlings," she explained. Applejack stared at the ball of light following her, tilting her head. It was probably for the best that it followed her instead of Dash; the speedster would probably chase it around everywhere and they would get nothing accomplished. The challenging glare that Rainbow Dash gave the light confirmed her suspicions. Applejack let out a sigh and nodded to Rarity. They then separated, the two teams taking their leave and exploring the two hallways in search of their friends.

~~~~

Fluttershy was worried. Why had Ryan left them? He was in no condition to be left on his own if he was expelling magic blasts like that! She kept reliving the memory of his sudden pained expression right before he was blown into the wall hard enough that it would probably have killed a pony. And now he was wandering around! He could be anywhere in this giant castle- Oh, there he is.

He was very close to where the accident happened, leaning against the wall and staring out of one of the gaps that made up the castle windows. Outside, Ponyville was being bathed in the light of the setting sun. Fantastic shades of red, purple, yellow and orange covered everything as the moon prepared its journey skyward. Ryan stood there, observing every detail that his eyes picked up. He was so lost in the scene that he didn't notice the two ponies walking up to him.

"Ryan...?" Fluttershy squeaked, moving a bit closer. He looked down at her after a few seconds, a conflicted look in his eyes. He took a deep breath before kneeling down, opening his arms in the universal 'hug?' pose. Neither Fluttershy nor Rarity moved. He squatted for a few seconds, waiting for a hug. When they hesitated to move at all, his eyes lowered and he stood back up. Without another word, he turned back to the window and looked outside. The two mares gave each other a concerned look before moving slowly towards him.

"Ryan, darling, is everything alright?" Rarity asked gently. She moved to within about two feet from him and stopped. Fluttershy was even farther away. Ryan glanced at the distance between them. He didn't look for long, and returned to staring outside. After a few seconds, he spoke. His voice was the shakiest either mare had heard it since he had arrived.

"Did...did you know I hate when people cry over me...?" he asked, choking back a small sob. Fluttershy's expression grew worried and she took a step closer. He calmed town the tiniest bit as the distance between them grew smaller. This did not go unnoticed by Rarity, who had been looking between the two of them. She spoke next.

"Yes, dear. We know," Rarity said while moving against him. The first thing that the fashionista noticed when she made contact was that he had been shivering. Shivering and cold. But as she embraced him, he quickly stopped trembling and his posture improved. He even became warmer. Ryan gathered himself before continuing.

"Well, I found out that I hate when people are afraid of me even more," he said solemnly. His gaze was locked on Fluttershy, who was still a few feet away. Fluttershy only took a second to realize what had been bothering him. The distance they had been keeping from him ever since the sneeze. They hadn't even noticed when he stopped following them...he thought that they were blaming him for what he had done! Fluttershy gasped and rushed forward, throwing her hooves around his neck. Ryan accepted the hug gratefully and held both mares against him.

Slowly, he sat down and absorbed the comfort they gave him. A breath escaped his lips that he hadn't realized he had been holding. They were so warm...it was almost like it was his family there, making sure he was okay. Ryan allowed a small smile to appear on his face. These ponies might have been a bit skittish, but hell if they weren't caring. But then another thought popped into his head that tore the smile straight from his face. This new idea almost made him sick.

"Hey, guys?" he ask shakily. The mares hugged him tighter, worried about this reappearing insecurity. He was becoming all sorts of unstable...what was happening?

"Yes...?" Fluttershy responded, though her voice was muffled from her being pressed tightly against the human.

"If Twilight was right and I'm just imaginary...then my family...are they, too? And...Sarah?" he choked out, contemplating seriously for the first time what this meant. His life might have been just a story...nothing he knew would be real. Mom, Dad, Emily, Sarah, they would all be fake too. And he wouldn't be able to see them ever again. To him, this was even worse than just dying; being alive while it turned out the rest of his family never existed in the first place.

"Oh, Ryan...I'm so sorry..." Fluttershy cooed, holding him even tighter. Rarity followed suit as the large man began to tremble once more. He readily accepted their comfort and began to cry softly, trying his hardest not to lose it like he had done in the hospital. Though, if what they were saying was true, he hadn't chose to cry in the hospital. It was all made up in the mind of some psychopathic storyteller. Why would ponies want to watch a man dying in the hospital?

He was ripped from his thoughts when he heard sniffling that didn't belong to him. Uh oh. Both Rarity and Fluttershy were quietly crying with him, their faces buried into his hoodie, leaving small stains. They did say they watched the show earlier...and they seemed to care a lot about him. They must have seen it...everything that happened. They cared about him and they saw him die. What else did they see?

That could be determined later, right now Ryan had two crying mares that needed cheering up. His own angst could wait its turn. He quickly threw on an encouraging smile and kissed the top of Fluttershy's head. She stopped crying immediately and looked up at him, a bright blush covering her face. He smirked and cleared his throat.

"Don't we have a party to get ready for anyway? That's in a couple hours, I think," Ryan said. His voice and posture no longer carried any hint of sadness. He was seemingly right back to his normal self. The two mares blinked a few times before processing his words. They knew he could recover quickly from depression, but wow. That was borderline bipolar. But Ryan gently wiping the tears from the faces of the two ponies quickly made them smile. Ryan Burbank, their favorite character from their favorite show, had just cried with them and was wiping away their tears.

Today was weird for everypony and everybody involved.

Fluttershy smiled and got off of Ryan after a few moments and started trotting slowly away, towards the main section of the castle. Ryan tried to leave with her, but was suddenly held back by some unseen force. He looked down at the faint blue glow surrounding his leg before turning his gaze to the white unicorn causing it. Ryan tilted his head, giving her a questioning look. Rarity cleared her throat suggestively.

" _Eh-hem_ ," she coughed. _Hint hint_. The trapped human continued to look at her in confusion. Rarity sighed and gestured with her eyes towards the top of her head a few times. Ryan blinked, what she was asking slowly dawning on him. He let out a little laugh and nodded. The white mare eagerly released him from her magic and walked up to him. He leaned down to her forehead, moving close.

" _Mwah_ ," he said as his lips pressed against her soft white coat. He moved away after a few seconds and looked at her. She was biting her bottom lip, her eyes practically shaped like stars. Ryan gave her a smirk before patting her on the head and standing all the way up. Just as he began to walk towards where Fluttershy was observing them silently, he heard a loud squeak come from the fashionista.

"Eeeeeeeeeee!~" she squealed loudly. Ryan had to cover his ears while Rarity let out her happiness, but the smile never left his face. After Rarity had finished with her fangasm, the two joined Fluttershy and began walking back to the main level.

"Oh, almost forgot~" Rarity sang, triggering her magic. A good walk from where they were, Rarity's little light sphere started flashing. This new activity surprised Rainbow Dash, who had just managed to catch the oddly fast orb. Behind her, Applejack was shouting for her to let the poor magic light go. The cowpony stopped in her tracks when she saw it flashing.

"They found him!" Dash exclaimed happily.

****

The walk home from the hospital had been oddly silent for Lyra and her roommate, Bon-Bon. Both mares had a lot on their minds at the time, and the impending visit from the OW producers loomed over them like death. No discussion with those rotten ponies had been civil since the moment Lyra agreed to do the show for them. The ponies at OW knew that they now legally owned her character, and could do anything they wanted to him if Lyra refused to participate. She agreed to do the show as long as she had some say in the fate of the characters. That agreement had lasted up until the most recent episode, when the producers gave her an ultimatum: kill Ryan or kill his entire family. They were really pushing for a controversy, and blackmailed poor Lyra to get it.

Now the two mares were down in the dumps, and the frown town they were walking through only served to make it worse. The ponies that were out all had sad or irritated expressions on their face. It was strange though, everypony seemed to be headed to the same destination. Was something going on? Her question was answered almost as soon as Lyra has got done asking it to herself.

"HI!" Pinkie shouted, popping up out of nowhere. Both of the downtrodden mares stopped and stared at the pink pony currently invading their personal space. Pinkie Pie stared back, examining them for a few moments before nodding her head. "Yep, definitely got a case of the saddies!" Lyra and Bon-Bon blinked. Pinkie took the opportunity to shove a pamphlet into Lyra's mouth. Okay, that was kinda gross.

Lyra spit the pamphlet out and eyed it suspiciously. She glanced at Bon-Bon, who was busy trying to shove her hoof into her face. Lyra shrugged in return and began to read it out loud.

"You are hereby invited to attend Pinkie Pie's special _OtherWorld_ Cheer-Up party," Lyra read. She gave Pinkie a suspicious glance. Did she know? Did Pinkie somehow find out who she was in relation to _OtherWorld_? If she did, she didn't show it. She just continued to smile, standing...no, bouncing in place. Lyra continued reading.

"Special guest Cheermeister?" Lyra asked Pinkie. A pink hoof was instantly covering the minty mare's mouth, effectively silencing her. Lyra spat the hoof out in annoyance. Pinkie just sat there, smiling.

"Shh!" the party pony urged, shuffling up right against Lyra. "It's a secret!~" Lyra just groaned at this. Today was just getting better and better. First hospital, then guilt from killing Ryan, then OW producers, and now she just had Pinkie forcefully make her taste the ground that she had been bouncing on. Ugh, gross. And then Pinkie was gone, leaving a second pamphlet tucked firmly between Bon-Bon's teeth.

"So," Lyra began, levitating the paper up and looking at it further, "you think we should go?" Bon-Bon spat out her pamphlet and looked at Lyra's instead. The cream-colored earth pony read to herself for a few moments before shrugging.

"I think I could go for some drinks," Bon-Bon said plainly. Lyra nodded to her friend. Drinks and a fun environment sounded pretty good. Celestia knows they would need it to face tomorrow. _Shiver_.

"Agreed. Hopefully Pinkie can cheer everypony up," Lyra said hopefully, "it would make me feel a _lot_ better if I didn't have to see all these sad faces around town..." Bon-Bon nodded sadly and gave her friend a small neck hug. Lyra ate up the affection greedily.

"Let's go then, the pamphlet says the party starts in an hour at Twilight's castle. It looks like ponies are heading over there already. Guess they don't have anything else going on today..." Bon-Bon observed. Lyra's mood lifted significantly. Princess Twilight? She hadn't seen her in forever! She wasn't worried about Twilight, she was pretty sure the lavender alicorn had been too busy with her studies to watch something like _OtherWorld_. Maybe the Princess of Friendship would be the perfect pony to bring some happiness back to this little town.

And with that uplifting thought, the two friends were off.

****

Princess Luna entered the unfortunate pony's dream with caution. This nightmare felt especially fresh. Whose dream was this again? Ah, yes, little Sweetie Belle, younger sibling to the Element of Generosity. This little filly had many nightmares in her time, but they were usually lesser nightmares about being late for school or disappointing her sister. Luna remembered conjuring up some of her own nightmares to show the filly what would become of her poor older sister if the pranks she had pulled had gone unfixed. But this feeling, this was worse.

She stepped into the scene and froze. Princess Luna was now standing in a hospital. Right in front of her sat a bed, and inside that bed lay the Element of Generosity herself. She appeared very pale and sickly, her body motionless. A loud whimpering caught Luna's attention. She turned her attention to the side of the bed, where little Sweetie Belle sat crying her poor little eyes out. The Princess looked up at the only other source of sound in the room: a heart monitor giving off a long ' _beeeeeeee-_ ' sound. This scene was becoming more and more familiar...

The Princess of the Night knew this room well. It was almost identical to the room she had watched her Ryan's heart stop in. This nightmare had taken the setup and replaced Ryan with Sweetie's older sister for the most emotional trauma possible. This had been hard to sit through once for Luna, and _she_ was thousands of years old. She had dealt with the death of loved ones many, many times before. This young one had probably never even lost a pet before. The Princess had seen enough.

With an angered swish of her large horn, the dark blue alicorn erased the room, along with the scene, from existence. That room could burn in Tartarus for all she cared. Instead, she replaced it with a scene of Sweetie playing with her friends after school. The cool late summer air was much fresher than the musty hospital oxygen and the natural lighting was much more relaxing. Little Belle looked around, confused at the sudden change of location. Her friends Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were resting next to her, apparently having just gotten done playing some sort of game. Then Sweetie's eyes locked onto the Princess of the Dreams and her face relaxed.

She quickly got up onto her tiny filly legs and trotted over to Luna's long blue leg, hugging it for support. Luna's eyes softened towards the poor pony and she lowered a wing, wrapping it around her. Sweetie Belle sighed in comfort, still shaking slightly from the mental torture she had just underwent.

"It is alright, little one, it was just a nightmare," Luna said softly to the shaking filly. As she did this, Sweetie's body calmed down until it was no longer trembling. Good, she was relaxing.

"It was so sad..." she whined up at the Princess. Luna gave her a knowing look and held her tighter with her wing. This filly had watched. It wouldn't be surprising if this hadn't been her first nightmare with this scene. She had already battled a few nightmares inspired by the last episode with other ponies, but she didn't expect it to cause to much misery. _Especially to fillies_. Why had she been allowed to watch in the first place?

"His family...they were crying so hard...and, Sarah! She left him!" the filly yelled out in frustrated sadness. Luna flinched at these words. "He needed her there and she just ran away...it...it made me wonder what would happen...if I was dying. If I had a special somepony, would they leave me too? Is that how it works?" Luna sighed and looked away for a few moments. The filly's eyes were drilling into Luna's and it was making her feel more and more guilty.

"No, Sweetie Belle, that is not usually how it works. But...the situation portrayed was a very intense one. There are no guidelines to how a pony should act when they have that much stress and sadness piled on them," Luna explained sadly. Sweetie stared up at the Dream Princess for a good while, absorbing her words. What she said made sense to her...she wouldn't know _how_ she would react if it had been Rarity in that hospital bed for real, dying in front of her.

"Have you gone through anything like that, Princess Luna?" she asked softly. Luna looked down at the filly. Nopony had every cared to ask her about the hardships she had experienced. It warmed the heart of the Princess greatly. She smiled down and nodded.

"Yes, young one, a very similar event," Luna answered. Sweetie shuffled a little bit, getting more comfortable.

"How...how did you react?" the filly asked innocently. Luna sighed and looked far off into the horizon of the dreamscape. The colors were so beautiful out here. No wonder the ponies of old had loved her sister's sun so much.

"Very similarly," was all Luna said. Sweetie noticed the sadness in her voice and wrapped her tiny white legs around the large alicorn. This filly was going to be the absolute death of her. Something this adorable could be weaponized. The Princess responded to Sweetie's marshmallow hug by wrapping both of her wings around her tiny body. There was now no sign a filly was present; there was just a blue mass of feathers. It was then that the dream versions of Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were disturbed by a flying pink mass.

"Pinkie?!" they exclaimed at the same time. Luna stared at the Element of Laughter, who was currently bouncing over to her and Sweetie. The Princess was very confused. She had not summoned a dream version of the pink one...what was going on? Pinkie continued bouncing until she was nose to nose with Sweetie, who had at this point popped out from Luna's wings to see the commotion.

"Hiya Sweetie!" she giggled happily to the little filly, her pink hoof rubbing through her pink and purple mane. Sweetie responded by giggling back at her and pushing further into the attention Pinkie was giving her. "I was looking all over for you! There's a party at Twilight's castle tonight and your sister wanted me to get you!"

Sweetie Belle blinked at this and tilted her head. She was confused, but still nodded. She knew it was not smart to question the pink one. She took the piece of paper Pinkie had offered her and looked at it. As soon as she finished reading, she looked up at Pinkie Pie once again with an excited grin.

"Ooh! Who's the guest?" Sweetie asked. She was squirming around a bit against Luna, apparently in eagerness. Laughter just grinned and winked at the excitable filly.

"You're gonna have to come see~" she sang. Sweetie nodded quickly and looked up at the alicorn towering over her. Princess Luna had been reduced to a nervous twitch. Laughter had somehow entered this little filly's dreamscape, without Luna noticing, to give her an invitation. Why couldn't she have just woken Sweetie up? Ugh, this pony was a living paradox.

"Can I wake up now, Princess Luna?" Sweetie Belle asked, an adorable smile on her face. Luna could not say no. Just as she was about to end the dream, however, Pinkie offered her an invitation as well. Luna blinked and looked at the paper. It didn't _seem_ to be poisoned, but she didn't trust this pony. She instead used her magic to levitate the paper. The Princess floated it up until it was within reading distance before scanning the words written. Okay, so it was some sort of party to help those hurt by Ryan's death on the show. A valiant cause, pink one. Luna herself had seen just how badly ponies around Equestria had been taking it from seeing their dreams the night before.

Well...it wouldn't hurt to visit the party. It seemed to be important enough for Laughter to barge into another pony's dream to invite her, so it might be _some_ party. And the invitation said something about a 'Special Guest.' Luna could only guess who that would be. Maybe the storyteller herself? She lived close enough to Princess Twilight's castle. Maybe not, though. If the other ponies knew that the storyteller was there, they might take their grief out on her. Hmm...

Well, first thing's first. EVERYPONY OUT! She swiftly channeled magic into her horn and ended the dream, sending herself soaring back into her own body.

"Well, that was fun. Do it again!" she declared to herself, raising her hoof to the sky.

****

Well, can't say that I was surprised with Twilight's reaction when Fluttershy and Rarity brought me back. I think she might have channeled a little bit of Pinkie or something. All I know is that I was very suddenly blinded by a pony latching herself onto my face. _Very_ familiar except for the color; this time my mask was purple. The force of her tackle did send me stumbling back, but I managed to keep myself upright.

"Holy shit, what the fuck, Twilight?!" I tried to say. Thanks to my new ponyface, the only thing that came out was a series of unintelligent mumbles. Ugh, this again. Somebody, please save me! I don't want to drown in Twilight! Hmm...nah, ew.

"Twilight, dear, Ryan _does_ need to breathe," Rarity piped up, looking at us with amusement. This seemed to draw the purple pony back into reality. She quickly shuffled down from my head, smiling sheepishly. A spot on her belly was newly wet with my saliva from where she had forcefully made me taste her. Hm. She tasted like purple, if that made any sense. But still, I wasn't really keen on tasting any of them willingly. Nothing against these ponies; I wouldn't have gone around licking humans either.

"Heh...sorry, Ryan," she said nervously. I just gave her a smirk and pointed to the wet spot on her tumtum. She tilted her head and looked down at it.

...Okay, she's still just looking at it. Why isn't she moving? She's still- okay, there she goes.

Twilight's response was to have her own brand of mini-freakout. It seemed like her mind was conflicted between rubbing the spit away and never washing that spot ever again. Okay, _that_ was funny. I just laughed out loud, watching the scene unfold before me. I swear, Twilight could star in her own show or something. Oh, wait...didn't she already? I hope that's what that was, and not another weird ' _you're not real_ ' kind of thing. Ugh, these thoughts again.

A prodding hoof to my leg drew me from my mind, thankfully. I looked down to see Rarity giving me the cutest pouty face I'd ever goddamn seen. Okay, she wanted something from me again, I was sure of it. But what? She was just standing there with her cute little begging expression, looking between me and Twilight's belly...

Oh. Nah, no thanks. Not going to make doing that a _thing_. If they _were_ telling the truth and I really was, like, _super_ famous among the ponies, then starting a habit of belly-licking was the worst idea ever. I sighed at the white unicorn and shook my head. She saw I wasn't going to comply willingly and increased her cuteness by another 4000%.

The fashionista's cuteness was starting to wear on me. I had to hold my resolve! Just keep in mind that if I started doing this, a good chunk of my fans would want to be licked by me too. _Even maybe some of the guys_. Ugh, no to that. Instead, I distracted her by softly scratching her ear. Rarity immediately went lax and sank to the floor, making adorable little leg twitches. Oh god, even while in a stupor her cuteness was hard to resist. I just chose to look away and continued scratching.

Okay, now what was touching me? Oh, Fluttershy wanted some scratchies too. No problem, as long as she didn't want me to autograph her with my tongue. I lifted my other arm to the yellow mare's head and started scratching. She repeated what Rarity had done almost exactly. Now I had two adorable ponies under the control of my amazing fingers. Mwahaha.

"There you are!" I heard from behind me. Whoever said that was coming up behind me _fast_. I instinctively pushed a foot forward to brace for the impact that was inevitable. Wait for it...wait for it...wa- _OOF!_

Rainbow Dash knew how to fucking _tackle_. Was she involved in some sort of sport? Any football team back home would pay _millions_ to just have her play _one_ game! Well, at least I had braced for it. Because of that, the force of her latching onto me at the speed of sound only sent me stumbling forward a few steps. I had kept myself standing, though! Yay, me!

The sudden removal of attention to her ear drew an irritated glance from Rarity. When she saw what the cause was, she just sighed and stood up. Fluttershy shook her head a little and followed suit. Aww.

"Dash, you coulda hurt 'im!" Applejack scolded from behind all of us. She had been walking steadily behind the blue mare that had just assaulted me. She looked really tired. What had happened to take out so much of her energy? The prismatic mare trying to squeeze the life out of me served as a decent answer. The cowpony sighed and lifted her hat, revealing a small white ball of light floating underneath it. What the hell? I want one. "Ere's yer thingy back, Rarity." The small orb floated over to Rarity before sinking itself back into her horn. Damn it.

"Hey!" Dash shouted from her position on my back. "You said it disappeared before!" Applejack groaned and facehoofed. Ha.

"Ya wouldn't stop chasin' the poor thang!" she scolded back. Dash's face grew red but she didn't back down.

"The Element of _Honesty_ telling a lie?" Rainbow teased. "You remember what happened last time?" This made Applejack shiver. What had happened? I had only seen a little bit of what I thought was their show. Nothing? Okay, then don't clue me in, I don't care.

"Oh, an the Element of _Loyalty_ keepin 'er friends waitin jus ta go chasin' some light ball?" Applejack shot back. Rainbow buried her face into my back. I couldn't tell what face she was making, but the smug look on AJ's face told me that the argument was over at this point. Good, I was starting to worry about some noises I had been hearing from lower in the castle for a few moments now.

Twilight seemed to have heard the noises too, and stopped losing her shit. A look of realization came upon her face and she shouted loud enough to deafen me for a few moments.

"THE PARTY!" Twilight screamed. The rest of us had to cover our ears. _Fucking fuck, Sprinkle!_ How could something so small and cute be so damned loud? She was now running in circles. Okay, she's broken. Currently losing her shit again. Time to fix this.

I stood up, Rainbow Dash still hanging from my back. Oddly enough, when she wasn't trying to bowl me over, she weighed barely anything it seemed. It wasn't just her though, all the ponies were super super lightweight. I walked over to the panicked purple and pink pony princess and picked her up. Even when I held her up to my face, her legs were moving as if she was still on the move. _Pfft_. Welp, just need something to wake her the hell up.

" _Mwah_ ," I said, repeating the gesture that I had expressed to both Rarity and Fluttershy. Twilight stopped moving and stared at me with a blush adorning her face. Applejack was gaping at me, her body frozen solid from the shock of what she had just seen. I couldn't see Rainbow, but she must have wanted to try flying off again because her wings were splayed out, making me look like an angel with tiny blue wings. Silly pony, just let go! No? Well then I guess you're not going anywhere. Man, these ponies were clingy. I wasn't complaining.

Rarity and Flutters just gave knowing grins and watched us. They knew the power of head smooches. They didn't seem jealous though; they both had gotten ear scratches, too! It took a bit for Applejack to close her mouth and rid herself of her blush. Aw, I kind of liked the blush. It matched the apple marks on her butt. I drew my attention back to Twilight. She gave me another sheepish grin. Been getting too many of those lately from Purple.

"Okay, Twi. Party's almost starting. Here's what I want you to do: make sure everything is set up, including music and food and whatnot. Then when everything is ready, get all the ponies outside again. Then bring in whoever is going to be helping with the party first so we can get the initial shock of, well, _me_ , over quickly. That includes the DJ if Pinkie got one, the ponies in charge of food, medical staff-"

"Medical staff?" Twilight asked, her pupils shrinking a bit. I nodded my head.

"Yeah, nurses and stuff. What have you ponies tended to do when you saw me for the first time?" I asked, smirking at her. Twilight's ears flattened against her head in embarrassment.

"P...pass out..." the Princess confessed. I nodded proudly and gave her a smile. I loved teasing this little pony. She was too easy.

"Mhmm. So far, Pinkie's been the only one not to conk out. I'm pretty sure that a good portion of the town is going to react in a similar way, and I want some medical ponies around to make sure they all get the care they need until they wake up," I explained. Twilight put her hoof to her lips and thought for a moment.

"That...is actually a good idea," she said gladly. Guess I have to think of these things for now, at least until the initial shock wears off. Then I can laze around until I find out what's going to be going on. Yay! I smiled at Purple and gave her a thankful nod. I was glad she was at least trusting some of my decisions so far. It made me feel more like a human and less like a fictional character pulled out a TV show. She clambered down from my grasp and hit the ground with a soft ' _clop_.'

"Okay, come on, girls. We gotta help Pinkie set up," Twilight directed to her friends. "Ryan, stay here and wait until the first ponies are ready for you." The Elements nodded and walked off after her, but Rainbow stayed behind. Twilight noticed and turned around, giving Dash an impatient look. I felt Dash's hooves tighten a bit. Guess she didn't want to leave yet. That's fine, I didn't want to be alone.

"Can she stay and keep me company?" I pleaded to the Princess. Twilight's expression softened and she nodded with a faint smile. Without another word, she trotted after her friends to help set up.

The room we were in was silent for awhile. Then, slowly, Dash undid herself from my back and slid down. She trotted around to my front and looked at me. Why did she look guilty? She didn't do anything to me. I tilted my head at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Listen, Ryan...I'm sorry about the, uh, looks I was giving you...before," she apologized. I blinked for a moment. Why was she sorry? I mean, yeah, it hurt at the time, but I had my cry over it already. Huh, I forgot that Dash wasn't there for that. She probably thought I got offended and ran off. Time to cheer up another pony!

"No prob, Dash. That wasn't really why I lost you guys. The looks just made me think about everything else that has been going on. You probably know how I can get sometimes," I said softly to her. She blinked and smiled back, nodding.

"Yeah, of course I know, ya big goof!" she laughed. That was the sound of miracles right there, laughter. She shoved me gently on the shoulder with her hoof, but I barely budged. She looked at where she tried pushing, tilting her head. "Uh...how strong are you, anyway? I mean...I flew into you almost at supersonic speed levels before! You didn't fall down!" She was moving around a lot now, making motions with her body to play out what had happened. I shrugged and watched her performance.

"Dunno. You ponies barely weight anything, it feels like," I explained plainly. She gave me a curious glare before laying down and setting her hoof up.

"Hoof wrestle. Now." Okay then, blue guy. I was just hoping she didn't hurt me somehow. My legs folded underneath me as I settled down, wresting my elbow on the ground and wrapping my hand around the soft blue hoof. Dash smirked, her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth. Aww, she looked like a derpy cat. Her eyes then narrowed into a competitive glare. Oh, boy. I done did it now. We locked our limbs, preparing to begin.

"Okay, ready!" Dash began. "3...2...1...GO!"

...Didn't she just say go? Okay, weird. She just said go, but she didn't start-

Oh. She had a strained look on her face and her leg was twitching with effort. She _was_ trying.

Hot damn, am I like a super muscle freak in this world or something? It didn't feel any different than before she started. I grinned smugly and pretended to struggle, my hand shaking and moving closer to the ground. Dash laughed proudly, throwing her all into finishing me off. But right before the back of my hand touched, I stopped. Try as she might, the poor cyan mare couldn't move me any more than that. She was getting irritated now, sweat trickling down her face. Oh, now she's turning a nice shade of purple. Better stop now before she hurts herself.

With barely any effort, I pushed her hoof all the way around until it hit the floor on her side. She yipped from the sudden jerky motion and flopped over sideways. Okay, might have did that a bit too fast. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. I quickly slid over to where she had landed and looked down at her.

"Yo, Rainbow Dash. Y'allright?" I asked. She sat there in a daze for a bit before looking up at me in shock.

"Buh...but how?! I was winning!" she stuttered. I chuckled and crossed my arms at her. So she was super duper competitive. I wondered if I could use that for anything in the future...hmm.

"Nooope, I could barely feel you pushing," I teased. Dash got a look of indignation on her face and she crossed her front legs, pouting. That's fucking adorable. More pouty Dash, please!

"Pfft, yeah, right!" she spat. "I'm just as strong as Applejack and she's one of the strongest earth ponies around!" I shrugged at the blue mare and sighed.

"Well, then I guess I'm stronger than earth ponies, too. Listen, Dash, don't feel bad. I don't think I should be this strong either. I sure wasn't back home," I said softly. She seemed to relax a bit at this. I technically _was_ some sort of _otherworld_ ly monster. Heh, puns. Wait, if I was this resistant to the forces of this world...she had tackled me hard enough to almost floor me before!

"And Dash, just saying, but you have to be more careful with your tackling. If I wasn't as durable as I apparently am, you could have killed me back there," I told her. Rainbow's eyes widened and her face dropped. That wasn't good. Guilty ponies leads to sad ponies. I needed something for her to focus on that didn't involve reminded her that I was stronger. Uh...wasn't she, like, super fast?

"I might be stronger than you, Dash, but you're _waaaay_ faster. If we were in a real fight, it wouldn't matter how strong I was if I couldn't even hit you!" This brought a proud grin to her face. She shot up into the air and did a few loops, showing herself off to me. She was so proud of her flying ability, but it was definitely something to be proud of. After her little display, I clapped for her and let out a ' _Whoop!_ ' She bowed midair, soaking up my admiration. I really wanted to see what she could do _outside_ , without the walls confining her.

"C'mon, Dash! Bring 'im down!" I heard Applejack's voice say faintly. We both turned around towards where the voice had came from and stared. Welp, this was it. I could honestly say that I've never had to cheer up a legion of sad fans before. First time for everything, I guess. Then a devious little thought appeared in my head. That was perfect! Something fun for Dash and I to do while this all went down.

"So, Rainbow, any bets on how many ponies do you think I'll make pass out?" I asked, a sly grin on my lips. Dash looked up at me and grinned right back. Oh, it was _on_. She put her hoof up to her face for moment, thinking to herself.

"Mmm, I'm going to say...a hundred," she stated, putting her hoof back down onto the floor. I offered her my hand before I set my own bet.

"I say more than that. So less than one hundred, you win. More than one hundred, I win. How's that sound?" She looked at me with narrowing eyes, her smirk growing larger.

"That's fine, what happens when _I_ win?" she asked in a teasing voice. Oh, you're in for it now, Rainbow Trash. I thought for a moment. What were we going to bet over? What would be embarrassing enough to both of us? Oh, duh. I smiled at her.

"Loser has to wear a dress for one whole day, outside," I stated. Dash's pupils shrank at this, but her competitive glare stayed the same. Either way, Rarity would get to show off her work. Rainbow would probably have to pay for it, but I really couldn't right now. Maybe ponies seeing their favorite character in one of Rarity's dresses would help her sell enough to repay her. Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Rainbow Dash licked her lips nervously for a second before taking my hand in her hoof and shaking it.

"Deal! Hope you like laces~" she sang as she floated by. Nope, not taking that without a fight.

"Hope you like panties," I retorted.

_*Thump*_

Huh. Oh, well. One down, ninety-nine to go. I looked down at my hand for brief moment. It had been tingling ever since I wrestled Dash, and I had been too afraid to look directly at it. Okay, here I go...

Shit. It's glowing purple. The same color that I had sneezed out back in the hallway. I...I needed to talk to Twilight about this. Later, though, I probably would need my super strength to carry Dash's unconscious body down to the party with me.

Later.

****

This line was way too long. Why was there a line to get into a party anyway? It was Ponyville! What, did they turn Princess Twilight's castle into a nightclub? Lyra and Bon-Bon stood waiting in a line that hadn't even started moving yet. Both of their tempers were shortening.

"Why did the invite tell us to be here at six if they're not even letting anypony in?" Bon-Bon complained. The ponies in front of and behind the duo nodded in agreement. They had all taken time out of their busy schedules (that consisted of moping) to visit this party that Pinkie had been so adamant about. Who was this mysterious guest that had been so hyped up? Whoever it was, they had better be worth the trouble...

The only ponies that anypony had seen enter the castle had been Vinyl Scratch, the DJ, her friend Octavia, a few nurses from the Ponyville Hospital and what seemed to be a few ponies carrying a large wagon through the castle doors. Why did they get to go in? Hmph.

It took another half an hour for anything else to happen, in which time all the ponies in line were growing more and more restless. Lyra was about to walk back home when the castle doors opened and the first few ponies were accepted.

"Finally!" Bon-Bon shouted, throwing a hoof up into the sky. But just as the first few in line had entered, the door shut again. What the hay was going on?! Just keep the bucking doors open! Then they heard a shriek coming from inside the castle before the sound of a body hitting the ground echoed out into the warm evening air.

Every pony in line gulped nervously as the door opened once more, accepting the next few hesitant applicants.

****

Well, my side of the bet was off to a nice start. My almost-perfect track record was ruined, though. Damn it. The electric-haired DJ that Pinkie had chosen, Vinyl Scratch, had certainly lost her shit. She didn't faint, however. She had a friend with her, some fancy-looking gray mare by the name of Octavia. Octy had been surprised to see some kind of creature towering above her, but she didn't appear to know just _who_ I was. Meh, I was okay with that. Vinyl spent a few minutes running in circles around me, taking in every detail of my form. Did Pinkie have a daughter that just happened to be a DJ? No? Okay, maybe she was just excited.

" _Awww maaaan_ , it really is you! How are you even here, dude?" she shouted at me. I smirked and pointed over at Twilight, who was busy levitating some food onto a long party table. Vinyl smiled knowingly at me and laughed. I couldn't see her eyes through her glasses, but the rest of her face did a fine job displaying her emotions. Octavia looked at her questioningly.

"Do you know him from somewhere, Vinyl?" she inquired. The DJ pony nodded her head vigorously.

"Yeah! He's the guy from _OtherWorld_! You know, the main guy! I didn't know all of that was real!" she exclaimed. Uh oh, getting into some uncomfortable waters here. I just smiled, trying to act naturally. Octavia looked like she had more questions, but chose to save them for later. Thank you, Miss Treble. I avoided more of Vinyl's summaries by kneeling down and opening my arms wide for her. She displayed a little giddy grin and leapt up into my embrace. Score! More pony hugs! I got a tiny little static shock when she touched me though. It wasn't painful at all. It was actually rather fitting for her.

After a few moments, she jumped down. I turned to Octavia, lifted my eyebrow. My arms were open and ready.

"Ehem, uh, no, but thank you kindly," she said a bit quickly. Aw, the pony didn't want my scary human hugs. That made me a _saaaad_ panda. Nah, not really, I'm sure she'd cave at some point.

"Okay, I'll let you do your thing, then, DJ..." I started. Did she have a stage name? Or was her stage name Vinyl Scratch?

"Oh, it's DJ PON-3," she explained. Huh?

"Is that like 'pone-three' or 'pone-eee'?" I asked, tilting my head. She just laughed and turned around, walking away.

"Yes," was all I could hear from her before she was off to set up the rest of the way. Oh, good, thanks for that. Cleared things up _soooo_ goddamn much. She's just lucky I didn't scratch her ear or something to stop her from performing. God, that would be evil.

I let her go, however, and walked over to where Pinkie was busy setting up some balloons. She had gotten back a little while ago, saying that she had 'dropped the fillies off in line.' Not sure who the fillies were, but I had some high hopes that they were the Crusaders. I didn't really know any of the others, to be honest. At least I knew who Apple Bloom and her friends were. She just left fillies in line alone with a bunch of other possibly strange ponies? Damn, they sure were trusting around here. Can't really complain too much if the town is _that_ safe though.

"Hey, Pinkie!" I called to her. The pink mare turned to me with a large smile, her eyes sparkling. This was her element. A giant party to cheer up more ponies than she ever had before, along with her new best friend that up until today she thought was imaginary. Let's just hope she was still wrong about that one...no, nope. Not going to think about that, it's party time!

"Hiya, Ryan! Ready to _par-tay_?!" she exlaimed, letting go of the balloon she had been blowing up. The little piece of rubber made a loud ' _prrrrbbbbtttt_ ' sound as it flew around the room. It did a couple of loops that Dash would envy before smacking Rarity in the face with a wet plop. The poor white unicorn's eyes grew wide before she loud out the most ear-splitting shriek I had ever heard. She then passed the fuck out and hit the floor. Geez, these ponies lost consciousness _waaaay_ too often. This had to be some sort of unhealthy. But that shriek...my ears were still ringing. I wouldn't be surprised if ponies miles away had heard that. Ouch.

"Hey, Rainbow!" I called out, "I'm counting that!" Above me, Dash was helping set up light fixtures for Vinyl's show. She looked down and spotted Rarity's twitching body. She slapped her hoof to her face and groaned.

"Oh, come on! How many is that already?" She flew down to Rarity and poked her gut gently. Rarity twitched again but remained out.

"Including you and her?" I teased. "Four. Also had the one nurse pass out and one of the cooks lost it when he saw my teeth." Rainbow shook her head and sighed. Guess she wanted to be disappointed in them. Kinda hard to feel that way when she was the first pony to go down for me. Wait, that sounded really wrong, scratch that. Ugh, sick. She was the first pony to pass out. There, that's better.

Movement to the side of me caught my attention. Twilight was walking towards me, trailed by a group of ponies that were too busy looking at the inside of the castle to notice me right away. Well, here goes.

"Show time," I whispered to myself, leaning down and picking Rarity's limp body up without any effort. I handed her off to Rainbow quickly, making sure to not look like I had just killed the poor fashionista. Dash struggled with Rarity's weight as she flew her body over to where the nurses had set up shop.

"Geez, Rarity, what have you been eating?" I heard her grunt to herself. That was enough to brighten my mood. I would need as much brightening as I could get with what I was about to go through.

The group of ponies drew closer ever so slowly. They seemed to all be tired. Bags lined the area under their eyes and their ears were flattened a bit more than they should have been. Twilight saw me and gave me a nervous grin that said ' _I'm not ready for this_.' I just nodded my head at her. I felt the same exact way.

Then, the first pony saw me and stopped. The rest noticed the mare's sudden stopping and turned to look where she was looking. The rest froze up as well as they locked eyes on me. The room went quiet. Really fucking quiet. That 'sound of silence' ringing was driving me crazy.

_*Thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump*_

_..._

_*Thump-thump-THUMP*_

"...Ryan...?" asked the one mare who had made it through the initial shock. I smiled softly at her and nodded.

_*Thump*_

...Okay, then, never mind.

****

The walleyed pegasus hummed patiently to herself. It was sure taking a long time to get into this party! At least the weather was nice out today. She had managed not to mess everything up today, so it was a good day in her book! The setting sun was almost gone now, Princess Luna's Moon threatening to beat it into submission. The moon finally won after a few moments and rose.

Derpy was getting a little worried. Her daughter Dinky had been sleeping peacefully on her back while they had been waiting in line. The gray mare looked around to her precious little muffin and smiled lovingly. She just hoped the party didn't run too late at night...the little unicorn filly needed a good night's rest for school tomorrow. Well, that was also the reason she was here in the first place.

Dinky was a huge fan of _OtherWorld_. She had saved up her allowance to get herself her very own Ryan plushy, which she was currently holding onto tightly in her sleep. She hadn't stopped hugging it since last night's episode. Derpy had always watched the show with her, in case she was needed to answer some questions about the darker aspects. But last night...the pegasus mare was just as horrified as her daughter. How are you supposed to answer questions like ' _Wud's wong wid Wyan?_ ' or ' _Why aw dey wetting him die?_ ' It tore the poor mother's heart out when her little muffin screamed ' _WYAN, NO!_ ' at the end of the episode.

Dinky had spent over an hour crying into her mother's embrace. Derpy didn't know what to say this make this ouchie go away. This was too much even for her. The scene kept replaying in her mind, over and over. The sadness, the pain, the torment, it had scarred the two ponies in very much the same way it had scarred a good chunk of Equestria. Derpy kept her filly with her when she went to bed last night, but Dinky spent the whole night sniffling and squeezing her plushy longingly.

Derpy didn't know how to make her daughter better. Luckily, she was friends with Pinkie Pie, who had set out on a quest to help all those poor ponies that had been traumatized. Leave it to Pinkie to take it upon herself to cheer everypony up! The mother mare smiled to herself again. This might just be the thing to cheer her baby up. She needed her sleep!

Before she realized the line had been slowly moving, Derpy noticed that she was next in line. Twilight popped out after a few minutes and smiled kindly at her. Derpy smiled back at the Princess and walked forward when she was asked to.

"Right this way, please!" Twilight gestured to them. Apparently she was only taking one or two ponies at a time now for some reason. It made the line move slower, but there was probably a reason. Derpy shrugged her thoughts away and trotted after Twilight, Dinky still snoring gently on her mother's back.

****

Whew! This was getting tiring. Tiring but awesome at the same time. So many ponies, so many hugs! Not as many passed out as I thought, but all of them were ecstatic to see me. Only a few of them asked how! I didn't answer, of course, but gave those that asked extra tight hugs.

Even though the fainting was a little bit less than I expected, I was still easily going to win the bet I had made with Rainbow Dash. Three ponies with flower-based cutie marks had showed up and proceeded to pass out three times in a row. I counted each instance, much to Dash's chagrin. Thank you Lily, Roseluck and Daisy! Just those three mares made up almost a tenth of the number I needed to reach to beat Dash. This night was amazing already! Now, what color panties was I going to make her wear? Hmm...

Just then, I was tapped lightly on the leg. I looked down and saw Twilight looking back up at me, another pony right behind her. We had decided to only show one pony at a time. This happened after a poor mare had gotten a bruise from being landed on by a rather large stallion as he fainted. So who was here to see me now? The crossed eyes staring in wonder up at me gave it away. I had seen this one before! She had been in the background for some of what I had seen in the show. Was...was that her daughter sleeping on her back? Oh my fucking god, that is the new cutest thing I'd ever seen in my life. These ponies seemed to want to give me a heart attack with their cuteness. Heart attack or diabetes, one of those two. I didn't know the name of the mare however, so I couldn't address her. She was frozen in place but stayed conscious. Finally, after a few moments, she whispered to the sleeping filly on her back.

"M...Muffin...?" she stuttered. Um, what? Oh god, I hope her name isn't Muffin and she had that Pokemon disease of only saying her name. That would get annoying _really_ fast. The little unicorn that had been sleeping on top of her moved around when she spoke. Oh, okay, that must be what she called her daughter. Fair enough.

"Huh...wha...?" the filly said, rubbing her eyes and giving an adorable yawn. Oh shit, my heart just almost exploded. That sounds like a joke but with what had been happening, it was probably a possibility. Nope, still alive...for now.

The little unicorn looked around, squeezing some some of familiarly-shaped doll to her fluffy little chest. Was that a plushy of...me? I think it is. They have those? Why do they have those? The filly's eyes locked on me and grew wide. I just hoped her mother was ready to catch her if she passed out. She was a good distance from the ground and I didn't want her to get hurt.

"Dinky! Stop!" the mother scolded, trying to stop the movement that was taking place on her.

Just like, the filly had jumped down and sprinted to me. She wrapped her tiny little legs around me, squeezing to make sure I was really there. The plushy of me was clamped in her mouth. My heart felt weird...her eyes were shining so brightly...no, can't pass out, can't pass out-

" _Wyan! You're awive!_ " she cheered up at me, her voice muffled by the cloth replica of my body.

Irk.

_Hello, darkness, my old friend~_

_*Thump*_

****

The doors to the castle opened all the way. The cheers of every pony still stuck outside filled the air as everypony scrambled to get into the area where they could hear the party going. Lyra and Bon-Bon rushed to get in as fast as they could. The night air had started to get a bit chilly and they desperately wanted to be in with the warmth of the castle.

Within a minute or so, most of Ponyville had crowded themselves into the Castle of Friendship. Ponies ran around, finding out where all the different activities were located. Groups of friends formed and played some games together, while most formed on the dance floor to listen to Vinyl's music. The utter chaos that had befell the castle quickly settled down once everypony had found their place. Many food and drinks tables had been set up, with hundreds of sweets and treats covering them. A berry-colored mare stumbled to the drinks and began messing with them without anypony noticing.

Big Macintosh walked calmly through the crowd, the three Cutie Mark Crusaders resting lazily on his back. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked downtrodden, but Sweetie had a small smile adorning her face. They had finally gotten inside! Now she could see who this super secret guest that Pinkie had told them about was!

Lyra and Bon-Bon found a seat at one of the many tables that had been set up, setting down the plates of food that they had gathered. Bon-Bon took a sip of her punch, shivered, then smiled.

"Berry got to the punch again. Just what I needed," she sighed happily, letting the tingling sensation of the salt stay on her tongue before taking another sip. Lyra looked over at the punch bowl and eyed it nervously.

"I just hope no fillies get into it..." Lyra swore to herself. Berry bucking Punch had spiked every punch bowl at every party in Ponyville for as long as anypony could remember. Bon-Bon shrugged and continued drinking.

"The mothers with fillies and colts all know to bring their own drinks," the cream mare said plainly. Lyra watched the bowl for a few more moments before turning her head to another source of movement. On the far side of the room, past the sound stage, she could see a medical station set up. Large panels were erected to seemingly hide patients from public view. This confused Lyra. What kind of party was this if if needed its own doctors? And there were foals running around! Ponies seemed to be emerging from the station every few minutes. Just how many were back there?

Then the shape of a human emerged.

****

I awoke on one of the medical cots with Rainbow Dash smirking above me. I groaned and sat up slowly, rubbing the side of the head where I had fallen. She gave me a grin and crossed her legs.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, chuckles," I deadpanned. I swung my legs over the side of the cot and shook the sleep from my eyes. Ugh, that wasn't pleasant. Not the adorable filly part, _that_ was the best. The passing out and smashing my head on the floor sucked, though. Dash grinned at me and held up the tally. So far I had gotten 82 ponies to pass out. Outside the medical station, I could hear the noise of the party going on full force. I guess someone let the ponies in at the same time. Pinkie. Then meant...oh, Dash, be prepared to lose.

"So now the castle is full of tons of ponies who haven't seen me yet?" I asked Dash casually. She tilted her head before nodding. I could tell she got my point right after, if her flushed face and tiny pupils were a sign of anything. I gave her the biggest shit-eating grin I could before staggering myself to my feet and walking towards the edge of the medical curtains. Dash shot forward and latched onto my leg, trying to pull me back.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO WEAR PANTIES!" she begged. I just smiled and strutted out into the party. All eyes in the room turned to me in that instant. Time to win this shit. I threw my arms into the air in a grandiose display. Vinyl caught on to my antics and smirked, suspending her music. The room was now bathed in silence.

"WHAT'S UP, PONYVILLE?!" I shouted, effectively killing that silence. The frozen and shocked faces of most of the ponies told me that the majority hadn't been informed by their friends about who the guest really was. I assumed they wanted to see how their friends would react as much as I did.

3...

2...

*THUMP!*

That was fucking amazing! Half the fucking room just dropped fucking dead. _Let the bodies hit the floor!_ Woo! And with that giant sound, the bet was over. Dashie, get ready for your sizing~

The nurses rushed by me, each giving an irritated glare. Uh, whoops. That might have been a bit much...

"Sorry!" I yelled after them. The head nurse just huffed and continued assisting the 100+ ponies that were now unconscious. Vinyl could be heard laughing her head off over the microphone, along with a good portion of the ponies who had already known about me. I scanned around the room, taking in the sight of the ponies who were still standing. It felt actually kind of nice, having the ponies not really fear me at all. They were just really, _really_ surprised by my existence was all. The perks of being a celebrity!

My eyes scanned over a sudden movement in the section of tables that had been set up. I could have sworn I saw a flash of mint green...oh well, it was probably a filly snagging some extra treats. Speaking of fillies...

"RYAN!" came a tiny, squeaky voice from the other side of the room. Oh god, that voice crack. And there she was. Little Sweetie Belle, running up to me with the other two Crusaders following close behind her. They all had looks of confused joy on their tiny faces. "BUT...HOW?!" I smiled and sat on my butt, holding my arms out. They didn't need to be asked twice, throwing themselves on me. Yay, cuddle pile!

Apple Bloom threw her arms around my neck, obscuring my face with her mane and large bow. Sweetie was cuddling the shit out of my chest and Scoots was wrapped around my leg, staring at it. Another filly had gotten loose and took my position of low elevation to her advantage and snuggled up against me. I looked down to see Dinky there with her plushy in her mouth again. Irk. No, stay awake. Huh? What was that? A shiver went up my spine as I turned my gaze up in front of me.

A large group of fillies had gathered a few feet away, staring at me. Oh shit. **OH SHIT**. I tried moving, but the fillies were there. I couldn't run without throwing them off and possibly hurting them! I just had to surrender to the tidal wave of-

"GET HIM!" shouted the assumed leader, a pink filly with a little tiara on her head.

OH SWEET FUCKING JESUS, SOMEONE SAVE ME!

****

The party moved on once Twilight had managed to dig poor Ryan out of the filly pile. The rest of the unconscious ponies woke up one by one and joined in on the festivities. The human was obviously the constant center of attention, but some of the ponies stopped following him after awhile and just partied. That's what Ryan wanted; them to feel safe and comfortable around him.

The next game was one of those ' _pin the tail'_ games. A classic for all beings at the party. Pinkie Pie insisted that Ryan go first, since it _was_ technically his party. The human agreed after some nagging and waded through the floor of grabby fillies that separated him from the piece of wall where the game was located. He hadn't played this game in years, but maybe him sucking at such a simple party game would further prove his lack of malicious intent. Pinkie blindfolded the tall human and started spinning him in circles.

The game in progress gathered enough attention to hide the mint green unicorn and cream colord earth pony who were sneaking out. Lyra knew who he was as soon as she saw him, even though she didn't recognize him. He was a human, just like the ones that populated her head every night when she went to sleep. Who else would he be? That human was Ryan. The look on Bon-Bon's face when she saw him just proved this to Lyra. She needed to be away from all of this. Like, that instant. They had waited long enough for a large crowd to gather. Her roommate agreed and chugged the rest of her drink before standing up and walking towards the castle doors. Good, nopony was stopping them to chat. Just keep walking, just keep walking. Just a little bit farther, _aaaaaaand_ door! Just need to open it-

-Right in time to see the Princess of the Night herself standing there, ready to knock. Lyra and Bon-Bon's breaths caught in their throats, both of their hearts nearly stopping. Memories of what had been ordered by Princess Celestia floated by. _Princess Luna was a fan of the show!_ Oh please please please don't know!

...Oh, buck, she knew. Luna's eyes narrowed into a hateful squint. The two trembling mares quickly threw themselves to the ground in front of them in a deep bow. Sweat trickled down their heads. Their breathing was quick and ragged. What was she going to do to them?

Nothing. The Princess just made a ' _hmph_ ' sound and continued on into the castle. Okay, time to run. That castle was now a likely hazard zone. They did _not_ want to be around when Luna saw the main character of her favorite show, alive and real. Off into the night they bolted, not looking back.

****

"Pinkie, I'm getting sick!" I whined. The pink mare had been busy spinning me in circles for the past few minutes. Why did I need to be spun around so many times? Now my head was spinning right along with me. Pinkie giggled from somewhere around me. I couldn't see anything at all, much less the pony putting me through the spin cycle. She stopped a few seconds later, though. Fucking finally.

I felt some kind of cloth material forced into my hand. Okay, that must be the 'tail.' Just gotta estimate, where had the picture been before? How high up was it?

The cheers of the ponies surrounding me did wonders to keep my mood lifted...up until they all just stopped. The room was silent besides for a gasp or two. Even the music had stopped. Granted, Vinyl was just playing softer party music now, but the absence of sound was horrifying, especially since I couldn't see. The only thing I heard was a loud clopping sound moving closer. Huh?

"What's up, guys?" I asked out loud. I was expecting for Twilight or Applejack to answer me, but they must have chosen to remain silent. A voice did respond, however. This voice made my heart stop for a moment. My breath caught in my throat as the familiar feminine ring entered my ears for the first time since...the hospital.

"...R...Ryan...?" I heard Sarah's voice ask me. I froze instantly. No way. No goddamn fucking way. This was not happening, I was still passed out, _something_ had happened to have made me imagine her voice right behind me. This could _not_ be real.

I spun around and tore the blindfold off, scanning the room. The only thing I saw there was some kind of large blue pony with both wings and a horn, the same kind as Twilight. The hoof that she had been holding to her mouth had some piece of silver decorative shoe on it. Her face was soaked with the tears that were pouring from her large teal eyes. That's nice. Now where the fuck did Sarah go?

"Sarah?!" I called out, spinning myself around to make sure she hadn't been trying to sneak up and surprise me. But no, I just saw Twilight a few feet away with her hoof covering her mouth. A good portion of the other ponies in the room were bowing now. What?

"Yes, Ryan...I'm here," said the blue horse. In Sarah's voice. What. The. _Fuck_?

"That's nice, but you're not Sarah," I said, waving my hand dismissively. The alicorn lowered her head and sighed.

"Ryan...please understand. I am Sarah," she said, giving me a pleading expression. The ponies in the room all gasped this time. No thank you.

"No, you're not."

"Ryan, please..."

"Nope, not Sarah."

"Ry-"

"SARAH'S NOT A FUCKING HORSE!" Twilight passed out as I swore at one of the two main princesses. The blue princess reared up in irritation and bellowed in a volume I knew too well.

"GODDAMN IT, RYAN! FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!" she shouted. The force of her voice was almost enough to throw me back. But that wasn't what brought me to my knees. The way she had just shouted...exactly like her.

It...she was telling the truth.

Whatever this thing was...it was her.

This was Sarah.

...

_I've come to talk with you again~_

  
  


_*Thump*_


	6. S1E6: Let's Talk

Awareness returned to me in an odd fashion. It wasn't like the slow build-up of waking up in the morning. It wasn't like the sudden shock of someone jumping on my bed either. It was...well, it just was. I was aware once again, but I didn't remember falling asleep. I didn't even feel tired at all. My muscles didn't need stretching, my joints were already nice and loose, and my breath smelled fine. The sunlight shining on my face through the window of my cabin didn't even bother me. Hold on...

I shot up in my bed... _my_ bed...and looked around, my eyes taking in all the familiar details. Everything was here. The walls were made of the logs that Sarah and I had cut ourselves. Most of the furniture had been made of wood in order to fit the theme. We had even made a few objects ourselves out of the leftover wood we had. The tiny little wooden trinkets I had made awhile ago still sat on the shelves that lined the walls of the bedroom. Everything was exactly the way I had left it...even the warm lump laying next to me under the covers.

Oh my god.

It...was it just a dream? Was everything that happened just a dream? The sickness? The hospital? Dying? The ponies? Oh god, please have been a dream...if it was, that was the worst fucking nightmare I'd ever had. It felt so...real, though. Maybe I was becoming one of those lucid dreamers? Oh shit, I could be having lucid nightmares!

I was distracted by a pair of arms wrapping around me and pulling me back down into a laying position. Please, let this be my reality. Do not let this be the dream. My head hit the pillow with a soft ' _pomf_ ' sound. The arms that had ensnared me pulled me onto my side, facing the being that they belonged to. And there she was. Sarah was smiling lovingly at me, her dirty blonde hair in its natural morning frizz. She looked liked she had just woken up, too. I gave her the biggest smile ever and scooted closer to her under the blankets of our bed, pulling her body tightly against me. I was _not_ going to let her go. Not right now, not after the dream I had. I just wanted to hold her forever...she even smelled amazing. We just laid there for what seemed like hours, letting our shared body heat fill the pocket of air that the comforter provided. I pulled my head out of her neck and just looked at her, smiling thankfully. I moved forward and performed an action I thought I would never be able to take part in again: I pressed my lips to hers. The small woman in my arms returned the kiss softly, her smile widening. After a few moments, I broke our lips apart to express my relief.

"It was just a fucked up dream..." I said softly, still smiling at Sarah. In return she...why was she frowning now? Her face just went from a calm happiness to a worried sadness. That's...no. It was a dream. It had to be a dream. Dying and getting sucked into pony world? That's some stupid shit right there. Please, be real, Sarah. I don't think I could...this was becoming too much.

Sarah sat up, the blankets falling from her chest. She just looked at me from under her bangs, trying to form words in her head. Even in her nervousness, she still retained her adorable sense of feigned innocence. I knew the truth about her potential wrath, but a stranger might have made the mistake of hitting on her. Her body was so awesome...it couldn't have just been a pony princess in some costume!

Right?

"Ryan..." she said softly after a few moments. I swallowed the bile in my throat that was attempting to make an appearance. "This...this form was a mistake. I should not have gotten your hopes up like that..."

Holy shit. No, _not again_. Why did she...? Why was she doing this? Maybe she was just joking around...yeah, that had to be it. We played little jokes on each other _all the time_!

And then she dropped her form, becoming the blue horse once again. She looked so out of place in the bed that Sarah and I had shared for two years together. Just, like, where my girlfriend was usually laying, now there was a cartoonish pony princess thing.

No...why...? Why couldn't it have been a dream?

"You...that's...i-it was real..." I stuttered, staring at the guilty alicorn. She looked into my eyes for a few moments before sighing and nodding her head glumly. My body froze and my breath caught in my chest. I got a feeling of panicked dread in my gut. Everything really had happened. And worse, Sarah was a horse the whole time. Wait, was she? Maybe this horse had switched places with her! I needed to know.

"I want to ask you some things, then," I said, my voice more monotone than I had intended. My whole world felt like it was falling down around me. If Sarah had just been a disguise for this Princess, then what other implications did that carry? The alicorn nodded and waited for me to begin. Good, she wasn't going to try avoiding the subject...she was tackling this problem head-on...just like Sarah would have done...

"Okay..." I started, giving my lips a once-over to heal them of their dryness, "Who are you? Really?" The oversized pony didn't hesitate to answer. She must have assumed this would have been my first question. Maybe she had already known me well.

"I have gone by more than one title in my time. 'Princess of the Moon', 'Princess of the Night', 'Princess of Dreams', and at one time I was referred to as 'Nightmare Moon', or the 'Mare in the Moon'. But now I prefer to simply be called 'Princess Luna.'" I blinked at this. Why so many names? And why did she say ' _in my time_ '?

"Wait...how old are you?" I asked, tilting my head. She gave a smile, though her face was blushing slightly.

"Thousands of years old, Ryan," she told me. I almost choked on the air that I had been breathing in at the time. Th-Thousands?! Holy fucking shit, I had been smooching all over an ancient princess for two years! I almost started trembling, but a feeling of artificial calm immediately spread throughout my body. It was strange enough for me to know it wasn't natural. Something was affecting me from outside.

"Are you doing something to calm me down? I feel weird..." I told her. I folded my knees to my chest, hugging the blankets. The fingers of both of my hands found their way through my brown hair. Could I calm myself with the hair thing I did? Hmm, couldn't tell. Something else was already busy easing my nerves. Princess Luna gave a knowing look, but it wasn't a happy one. What?

"Somepony is, but not I. I had Princess Twilight Sparkle observe us from the outside while I spoke with you. She will be making sure you stay calm for the duration of our conversation," Luna explained. Okay, it was really weird hearing Sarah's voice speaking so...formally. If I hadn't heard her talk like Sarah before, I don't know if I would have recognized her. It was the same voice, but still completely different. She was _my_ Princess, for sure, but I wasn't used to hearing her talk like one. If we were going to do this, I would need some sort of familiar aspect to latch onto.

"Hey, Luna-" I tried saying, but a blue hoof was instantly covering my mouth. Um, ew. I tried pushing it away but the blue alicorn held strong. She was giving me a stern look with those two pretty teal eyes of hers.

"You will address me as Sarah. That is what I am to you," she declared. I blinked, a faint anger raising but quickly falling again. Guess I could bring up my request this way and use it as a bargaining chip instead. I nodded and she smiled, removing her hoof.

"Okay, Sarah it is, then. _IF_ , and only _IF_ , you talk like Sarah. None of this regal crap you're using. My Sarah doesn't talk like that." I told her. Her being a Princess, I almost expected her to take offense to that. But no, she just got this big smile and nodded enthusiastically. Good.

"No problem, Ry!" she exclaimed. The way she said that gave me an involuntary smile. This was my Sarah. Even if she was...a...horse...my jaw dropped when I realized what that meant. Lu-...Sarah caught on and tilted her head.

"W-we...you...and I... _oh my god!_ " I yelled, throwing the covers up over my head and hiding. After a few seconds of silence, a blue aura surrounded the blanket and yanked it away, revealing my blushing cheeks to my girlfriend...marefriend...? She looked at me, observing the deepening red on my face. The blush spread to her face as well when she figured out the cause of my excitement.

" **But w-we never mated!** " she yelled at me, fidgeting around on the bed where sat. I did not lose the flustered tinge I had developed.

"But we did... _mouth stuff!_ " We were both hiding our faces now, moving our legs uncomfortably. I had gotten frisky with an ancient pony princess disguised as a human! No wonder she was so nervous at first! Oh god, I had taught her...so...much...

I mean, she hadn't been _bad_ or anything...always eager, even if she was unsure of what she was doing. Now the first time she had seen me naked made sense. She had stared for...half an hour? Just sat there, frozen. We didn't even get to do anything that night. By the time I had broken her out of her trance, neither of us were feeling quite up to it. We still had an epic cuddle session, though. Clothed cuddles are still awesome. Sarah broke the silence after a period of awkward fidgeting.

"We...did get a little... _adventurous_...no wonder she would assume I would be expecting," Sarah huffed. Something was ticking her off again. I wonder what set her off this ti-WHAT THE FUCK?!

" **YOU'RE PREGNANT?!** " I yelled, my arms flailing around. Sarah was at first taken aback by my sudden outburst. Apparently she didn't realize she had said that 'expecting' thing out loud. She corrected herself by waving her decorated hooves around, trying to calm me.

"Nononono! I'm not!" she tried to assure me. I continue waving my arms around, but more in a gesture saying 'explain yourself.' She took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts and forming them into words. "The _character_ of Sarah is pregnant. The storyteller decided it would be some sort of genius 'dramatic twist'. During my breakdown in the cabin, she made a positive pregnancy test appear in my hand to make the viewers think we had conceived right before...you know." She must have been expecting me to nod, but I was frozen.

"W-what are you talking about...?" I asked meekly. Sarah's eyes grew wide and she covered her mouth once more. A look of dawning horror appeared on the features of her face.

"She...Twilight said she told you about the show..." she said softly. I continued to stare at her. Twilight told me about the...what? The show...Sarah's talking about the show. She knew it was a show. She had been talking about everything like it didn't really happen. It sounded more and more like everything had just been details in a...story. I had a storyteller.

"She...she did, b-but I...didn't believe her..." I choked out. The sense of calm tried washing over me again. I wanted to fight it so badly. This was the perfect time to be upset! It was the natural response for me to freak out! Or was it? I didn't know anymore. I wanted to, though.

"Sarah...am I real...?" I asked. My girlfriend looked at me, her eyes twitching. Through her wide teal eyes, I could almost see her mind running at full torque. I don't think she really had planned this conversation. Maybe she thought I had already known? She tried saying something a few times, but no words came out. Until the fourth or so try.

"You're real to me, Ryan," she stated. That wasn't what I was asking.

"You know what I mean, Sarah," I said sternly. No more beating around the bush. I couldn't stand all this uncertainty. Please, just this once, give me a fucking straight answer. If I knew what the situation really was, maybe I could start working on getting over it. But as it currently existed, it was just back-and-forth with myself, never knowing for sure. It was driving me crazy. Sarah took a giant breath and tried to calm the shaking that had started in one of her legs.

"Technically, you weren't until Twilight brought you here," she said, trying to keep her voice straight. My heart fucking _dropped_. So...she was telling the truth? No...no, that's fucking... _oh my god_...

"B-buh...But h-how...?" I stuttered, my entire body shaking. The artificial calm was frantically smoothing over every nerve in my body, trying to force them to relax. It was only working a little bit now. Sarah noticed my oncoming breakdown and moved forward quickly, wrapping her legs around me in one of the warmest hugs I had ever received. Ever her _wings_ were hugging me. They were so much bigger than any pony I had hugged previously...so warm...Sarah noticed how much warmer I became when she hugged me and proceeded to hug even _tighter_ , firmly latching me to her blue body. This was the most comfortable thing I'd ever felt.

"Ryan," she started, "I know this is a lot to take in, but I need you to be my big boy and stay as calm as you can, okay?" The way she referred to me as her 'big boy', like she had teasingly done so many times before, brought a tiny smile to my trembling lips. I guess I could do calm. Even if she was an ancient princess, Sarah was here. Sarah was here with me, hugging the daylights out of my poor body. I thought she had left me forever...but why was staying calm so important?

"Okay, Bear...but why? Is something going on?" I asked. Sarah nuzzled her cheek against mine gently, making me almost purr. Men don't purr! We just growl quietly.

"Yes, there is, but I don't know if I should tell you until we know for sure," she said. Her voice was very calm and soothing as it passed from her lips and into my ear. I wouldn't accept things being hidden from me anymore, sorry Sarah.

"I need to know. Please, Sarah...not knowing things is just making it worse on me..." I pleaded. She looked into my eyes lovingly. Wow...her teal eyes were _really_ beautiful. It was like I was looking directly into the cosmos, flying with her through the stars. I could literally get lost in those pools...she blinked, breaking me away from her eyes. She nodded and sighed softly.

"It has to do with how you came to be," she began, "From what Twilight told me, when she brought you to Equestria, she didn't bring your body. It wasn't physical at the time, but the memories and thoughts you are made of were real. They were locked inside the head of your storyteller. Twilight, in her all her wisdom, went 'apeshit' when she saw you die. Somehow, she probed into the mind of the unicorn who imagined you and tore out all the information involving you. Since you were just thoughts and emotions, without a body, Twilight's spell created one."

She paused for a moment, looking down at me again. I was frozen, but still listening. This was getting really weird and hard to swallow, but if it was the truth, I wanted to know. I was finally getting some answers. She nodded and continued, "That's where the problem rests. She didn't just create an organic body for your mind to stay in. What she did was a lot more fucking stupid." I let out a little giggle at this. Yeah, let's all rip on poor Sprinkle. "She made something referred to as a 'magic construct.' It's something magic-users can create with their minds, but the purpose of them is supposed to be for quick summoning. No unicorn has been able to hold the same construct spell for more than a few minutes at a time...but Twilight Sparkle is a powerful alicorn. And that's not all..." Okay, this was getting scary now.

Sarah took another deep breath, giving herself time to plan out her next words. Then she resumed, "When Twilight saw you die on the show, she had something happen to her referred to as an 'EMP', or _Emotional Magic Pulse_. That's something that is referred to when a unicorn is put through severe emotional stress, with a strong desire to protect somepo...er, someone they love. It increases all of their magic usage for a short time, similar to adrenaline. She cared enough about you that she used her increased magic, that's _Twilight_ with a magic boost, and made a body for you. But like I said before...they're not supposed to last. She overcharged your body with magic to the point of lasting much, _much_ longer than a usual construct. But now..." She stopped her explanation, her teeth now softly chewing on her bottom lip. But now, what? What was going on? I gave her a squeeze to let her know I was still listening. She squeezed me back, but weaker than I had. Uh oh. That's not good.

"I scanned your body before I came in here to see you...Ryan, the magic holding your body together is slowly leaking back out. As it is, you should have already disappeared and the memories of you should have gone back to your storyteller. But you're still holding together...I think by putting a sentient mind into the construct, Twilight accidentally made it so the spell _couldn't_ go away by normal means. Because of your self-preservation, you are subconsciously holding the spell together. And as a result...Ry...have you noticed any odd leaks happening? Twilight told me about the sneeze, but has anything else happened?"

Holy shit. I was just magic. And the magic I was made of was trying to get out, but my human mind was somehow stopping it from doing so. I looked up at Sarah and nodded.

"Earlier, I arm wrestled with Rainbow Dash...totally destroyed her, by the way...but when it was over, my hand was glowing purple. Same color as the stuff that came out during the sneeze," I explained. She flinched but nodded.

"That was the magic releasing. Also, for the time being, please refrain from doing much of...well, anything. Your body is made of magic, so it goes without saying that you are able to use some." Oh does it, now? "You probably didn't out-muscle Rainbow Dash. It's much more likely that you simply held her hoof in your own sort of levitation magic and levitated it to the ground." Okay, that might have also explained why everything I picked up was so damn light. Maybe that explained the lack of me dying after the sneeze, too? I guess it could have been possible for me to have surrounded myself with some sort of protective barrier then. Oh, and when Dash tried to snap me in half, too.

"So," I said, getting her attention, "what's going to happen with me then?" Sarah looked down, refusing to meet my gaze. Oh, for fuck's sake. What else?

"If...If the magic inside your construct body becomes unstable enough, it's possible that it may... _force_ itself out," she said darkly. Oh, is that all? I thought it might have been something _bad_ or some shit.

"So if that happens, I'll..." I started. I really didn't want to have to say it out loud. Luckily, my loving girlfriend did it for me.

"Yes, Ryan. If you become unstable and go off, your construct will explode. And after seeing how much magic that purple idiot pumped into your body, the resulting explosion would be rather...monstrous." Sarah was shaking at the thought of me detonating like a mound of C4. Did that stuff even exist in Equestria? Maybe at a joke shop-wait, is she crying? Oh hell no, not in my house. How are we here, anyway? No, questions for after I cheer up the love of my life.

Sarah was indeed crying, her one hoof held to her mouth to try and stifle her sobs. The eyes I had gotten lost in previously were now blurry and red with tears. Sadness, eat a dick.

"Sarah, what did I say about talking? You've been using some of that fancy shit again. Remember the deal? All of that could have been shortened to _'Twilight fucking Sparkle shit the bed and stuffed your mind into a slowly ticking bomb of magic and shit, so don't go around using magic or you'll pop like a month old blister,_ '" I said, grinning devilishly. Sarah blinked hard. She was staring at me. Then she let out a soft chuckle that was followed by a harder one. Within moments, she burst out laughing, tears still streaming down her face, but for a different reason this time. I watched her laugh happily, my eyes taking in the sight of my girlfriend's real form having a good chortle. Girlfriend was no longer sad, mission accomplished. Go me!

I joined in with Sarah's laughter, enjoying this familiar feeling of love that I had felt every single day that we were together. My girlfriend eventually calmed herself down and looked at me fondly.

"Yeah, okay, mister. Ya got me. But seriously, don't use magic," she said, still letting out a chuckle. Now that I thought about it, though, that request confused me. Wasn't the magic trying to get out? Why would letting off some magical steam every so often be bad?

"But wouldn't letting some out help? I mean, it is trying to get out anyway, so why not relieve some of the pressure?" I asked her. She stopped her laughing and looked at me seriously. She looked troubled and tired about something that I had said. Oops.

"In theory, that would have worked. That is, if Twilight Sparkle hadn't...um, _filled you to the fucking brim_ with her magic." She remembered the deal halfway through her statement, prompting a proud smile and a nod from me. She returned the smile and continued, "By using some, you would be creating a gap that the rest would rush to fill. I'm worried that the force from the filling out of the magic would cause you to destabilize. It also seems that emotional turmoil could potentially set you off."

Okay, I didn't understand that much, but I got the idea. I _could_ use some magic, but doing so could cause me to pop. Also I had to stay calm, or else. "So, what you're saying is to control my shit until we can find a way to fix this?"

"Yep," she said simply, nodding once.

"But why couldn't we just try again? You know, let me go back to the original pony and then bring me back in a more stable construct?" Sarah's face went pale when I said this. Oh, come on! I just got done cheering her up! Hmph...this _was_ a pretty dark conversation, I guess. Couldn't expect it to be all that pleasant. Sarah shook her head in a panicked manner.

" **Absolutely not!** Go back to the bitch who killed you?! **Not happening!** " she shouted. Geez, okay, lungs. I hadn't thought of that. Since I was apparently just a story, the pony who had imagined me had also been the one to put me through unimaginable pain.

"Okay, okay! So...what do I do until we can find a solution?" I asked, trying to calm her down. She saw that I wasn't going to press the issue of going back the original and relaxed a bit. Sarah cleared her throat once and replied.

"I was planning on taking on your memories myself, but Bitchy McSparklepuss took you first," she huffed. Whoa, she got some serious hostility towards Twilight. I mean, yeah, Sprinkle was kinda reckless with her magic and also impulsive as shit, but she didn't deserve to be hated for it. She was just like that.

"Why are you so hard on Twilight?" I asked curiously. Sarah deadpanned at me.

"She took my love from me and turned him into an arcana bomb." Ooh, she did not sound impressed. I didn't really have any choice but to concede to her point, mostly because she wasn't wrong at all. That _was_ what happened, even if by accident. I was going to have to see how good these hands were for tickling, for Twilight was going to be on the receiving end of them. Like, _super_ hard. Anyway, I still had a few questions...ones I was dreading the answers to. I instinctively wrapped my arms firmly around her pony body, trying to stay as warm as comfy as possible as I asked what I needed to.

"So...does all of this...mean everything else was fake? My family? Our cabin? Earth?" I asked, my voice becoming more a whisper the further I went on. Sarah flinched and looked into my eyes again. Guess she wasn't expecting the sudden mood change. Sorry, but I had a shitload of questions. Very slowly, she nodded, but then shook her head. She had a thoughtful look now, like she was considering something.

"Well...while it's true the life you knew and the people in it were not reality, I'm not too sure about Earth," she stated. This fact both depressed the fuck out of me and piqued my interest at the same damn time. Let me say, those are two _weird_ feelings to have at once. Just what in the hell did Sarah know that I did not? Besides everything?

"Um...what? Care to help my poor brain cross the finish line?" I managed to joke. That got a smirk out of her! Yay!

"Well, I've been looking into the dreams of your storyteller for years now. She dreams in detail unlike anypo-anyone else I've ever seen. I have a sneaking suspicion that she may be a _leaksleeper_ ," she explained to me. Oh, good. She said that like she expected me to know what it meant. Didn't we just go over something regarding my poor brain and its problems with finish lines? I motioned with my hand for her to continue. She nodded and did so.

"A _leaksleeper_ is one who sees...visions while unconscious. They are very rare, and the only ones I've been present for have just been able to peek into the dreams of others. None were able to manipulate the dream in any way. It was just _really_ awkward when one of the _leaksleepers_ happened to accidentally spy in on some other pony's...intimate dreams...while I was there observing." She was blushing again. Actually, her blushing was cute even though she was a pony. I thought all the ponies I'd seen so far had been adorable, but Sarah was a bit different. She was also a few different kinds of beautiful on top of being cute. And for shit's sake, she was _so warm_!

" _Oookay_. So you think my storyteller was a _leaksleeper_?" I asked, tilting my head at her. See, I could be cute, too! Sarah couldn't help but smile at my cuteness. Score one for Ryan Purrbank!

"Mhmm. At least I think so. I find it hard to believe she imagined Earth by herself. There are details in there that would take one of our brightest minds eons to come up with. Inventions that have sent scientific teams in Canterlot scrambling to recreate. Architectural works that our own ponies would have deemed impossible. Works of art that-" I cut her off. She was doing it again. I wagged my finger at her with a mock-disappointed look. Sarah gave me an apologetic smile before clearing her throat to continue, this time with less fancy talk.

"Hrm, yes, well, my theory is that your storyteller is a very powerful _leaksleeper_ who doesn't just see dreams, but can see other _worlds_ ," she said.

I was absolutely blown away by this new information. If Sarah's theory was correct, then...maybe Earth did exist. That was fucking amazing! Humans might actually exist somewhere out there, and had a nosy pony spying in on them, stealing their ideas and using them for her own dreams. But at the same time...Sarah said that no _leaksleeper_ had ever been able to manipulate anything inside the visions they got. They were just observers. My girlfriend had even mentioned earlier how my storyteller had imagined the positive pregnancy test into her hand during the show. So...everything that I knew really was inside the head of a pony. Humans might exist, but I didn't belong to their kind. I was just a model based off of them, apparently. Well...that fucking sucks. At least...if my family wasn't real, they wouldn't still be sad about me dying...and I still loved them and held memories of them. So they were real to me. I was only vaguely aware at that point of the blue alicorn trying to wake me from my thoughts. The lick she gave my cheek did snap me out of it, however.

"S-Sarah! Don't do that! You know how I feel about tongues..." I moaned, wiping my face to rid it of her warm saliva. She just giggled in her own adorable way and winked at me.

"Oh, I do know. _That's why I did it~_ " Woo boy, it was a good thing I was still partially under the covers. But that did bring up another good point. I hope she wouldn't be too mad about this.

"That reminds me...you know I'm all for keeping what we have, but _do not_ expect me to ' _go exploring_ ' while you're a pony," I told her. She got this really hurt expression on her face and started pouting. Oh, god, the pouty face. I was too weak! Had to stay strong...sure, she was beautiful, but she was also a pony. Like, smaller version of a horse. Sure, ponies were cuddly as fuck, but sexy? Her tongue was pretty awesome, though...NO, nope. She should have known enough about how Earth worked to know that what was implying was a big 'no-no.' Apparently she did, because she stopped pouting a minute later and just went ' _Hmph_ ' at me. She stayed like that for a moment before a light bulb went off in her head. She spun her head back around to me rapidly. The sudden movement was enough to make me flinch.

"You...you _do_ want to keep me?" She was starting to tear up. Oh, god, what did I do now? Wait...those were _happy_ tears! "I was so worried that...with who I really am...you would want me to go away..." I rolled my eyes almost to the back of my head when she said this. Oh, Sarah, you're in for it, now. Just like that, I was holding her in my arms, my fingers sliding through her mane- _what the hell_? Her mane was all...wavy or something. How in the shit did I not notice this before? It looked very similar to her eyes when I stared at it. I could almost see different constellations floating around in what I _assumed_ was her mane. And it felt...kinda like really long hair when it's underwater. Very flow-y like that. Apparently it still felt the same to Sarah, judging from the look of euphoria on her face. Oop, there's the twitchy leg! Aww!

"Of course I wouldn't leave you, Sare Bear. You may be a...probably super powerful ancient pony princess...but you're still my Sarah. I would never, _ever_ leave you. Got that?" That last bit wasn't even a question. To be honest, it probably wasn't fair to ask her anything at all in the state she was in. If she _had_ been trying to say anything, I couldn't tell. The only thing to pass her lips were incoherent babbles. If only I could just stay here, forever in...wait, that's right. How are we even in our cabin?

"Hey, how are we here?" I asked her after calming my assault on her senses. I waved my arm around, gesturing to ' _all of this_.' She blinked awake and yawned. Wow, that had really done her in. Heh heh...

"Oh, we're in your dream right now. You passed out at the party after calling me a ' _fucking horse_.'" She took on a stern glare that burned into my soul. Yep, this was definitely Sarah. I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. In my defense, I _had_ just learned that my girlfriend of two years was a pony all along. How was I supposed to react to that? Actually, no. That had been a good thing. Sarah was _here_. With _me_. I had something from my old life that was actually real.

"Yeah, uh...sorry 'bout that. You just kinda shocked me, is all," I tried to explain. She lifted an eyebrow. No, not the brow! "So, uh...you can travel into dreams, then? 'Princess of Dreams' for sure. Wait...didn't you say that _leaksleepers_ couldn't manipulate dreams?" The stern look she had been giving me turned into one of amusement.

"Ah, so you _have_ been listening," she teased. I crossed my arms and pouted. I always listened to her and she knew it. She also loved to break my balls and **I** knew it. "Yes, I can travel into and manipulate dreams. No, I'm not a _leaksleeper_. I'm something much, much sexier." I grinned at this. She sure _was_.

"And that sexy thing would be?" I inquired. She smirked at me like I was stupid. Damn it.

"You said it yourself, I'm the 'Princess of Dreams.' It's one of my duties to watch over the dreams of all my little ponies and make sure the nightmares that haunt them stay far away." Holy shit, that _was_ sexy. Some super pony checking in on dreams and vanquishing nightmares? Sign me up for the first issue! Maybe an autograph or two...huh, what? She said ' _My Little Ponies_.' Hey, wait! Back at the hospital! She couldn't stand that show!

"Hold up, hold up. Remember back at the hospital?" She nodded once. "My Little Pony started playing on the TV and you almost tore the fucking thing from the wall trying to turn it off! What gives? Isn't that a show about you guys?" I demanded. Sarah sighed and nodded, an annoyed look spread across her features.

"Yes, that was the storyteller's fault. She kept letting her memories slip through and leak into her dream world. You don't realize just how many times I've had to turn that show off around you," she groaned. Why would she do that, though? She was part of those memories, probably! I could have gotten to know her a bit so that the initial revealing of her true self wouldn't have thrown me for such a loop.

"Why? I would have liked to have gotten to know who you were..." I bemoaned. She gave me an uncomfortable frown and looked away. Had something happened in those memories that she was ashamed of?

"Ryan...I'll tell you soon, but not right now. As it is, I've already revealed so much to you that I had planned to inform you of later on...It's becoming a bit overwhelming, to be honest." I just looked at her, unimpressed. Who was the one who had just learned that he was not real, his family was not real, he was essentially a bomb, and his girlfriend was a different species?

"How do you think I feel, Bear?" I asked. Sarah's eyes shot open and she chuckled apologetically.

"Oh, yes. Sorry, Ryan. Forgot the situation for a moment there..." Oh, nope. You're not getting out of it _that_ easily, Sare Bear. Before she knew what was happening, I was on top of her, my face pressed into her soft blue belly. Commence operation belly blowing!

_Pfffbbbbrrrttrbrbfrt!_

"WAHAHAHAHAAAAA RYAN PLEASE, STOP!" she begged, her laughter filling the calm air of our cabin. She was so fucking loud. Oh, well. It's not like there was any neighbors around to annoy. Even if we weren't just inside a dream in my head right now, our cabin was far away from anyone else. Total seclusion, just the way we liked it. Oh, look, I was floating. Fancy that. I looked down and saw Sarah rolling herself back over, her horn glowing with the same blue aura that was holding me up. She finished correcting herself and looked up at me, a devilish grin on her face. OH SHIT WHAT. She lowered me to her face, her eyes locked with mine. Her smile just kept growing and growing and-

_*Sluuuuurp*_

_Oh Gooood, that tooongue~_

My body gave a gigantic shiver and went limp, the wetness on my face and neck drawing in the cold air. Fuck you, Sarah. You knew me too well...and that tongue of hers was so much larger than her human one. I was royally screwed. Ha.

"Mhmm~ With that, I'll have to get going now, Ry. I have to try and...explain what happened to my sister. When Celestia catches wind of what her personal student has done, she'll likely try to extinguish the spell herself," she informed me after lowering my trembling body back onto the bed. I quickly wrapped my bottom half with blankets. Then it hit me. Celestia was her sister?! That's...pretty good! Now I had two princesses vouching for me! One of them was Celestia's sister and the other was her personal student! Whew, this couldn't get any better.

"So what do I do for now?" I asked, tucking myself back in. Sarah turned back around to face me, giving me a quick glance of her tail. It was the same kind of cosmic flow-y blue color. Neat.

"I'd rather you get your rest for tonight. Your body may be magic, but your mind still needs some time to sort through everything. Oh, that also means you shouldn't have to eat or drink. Also, restroom trips might be...less common," she told me. Wait, what? I wanted to try some of the stuff Pinkie made! Sarah must have noticed the disappointment on my face because she quickly trotted up next to me and gave me another hug.

"You _can_ eat, but you don't _need_ to. Your body is feeding off of the magic in your core for energy. Just...try not to stop breathing. I'm not too sure about that one yet." Okay, got it. So I could eat and drink...but could I not piss or shit? I...didn't know how to feel about that. Huh. Maybe not having to eat would be a good thing. Wouldn't have to scare the poor ponies by eating meat.

"I'll be leaving you in the care of the six ponies you met first," she said, turning around again and seemingly trying to wave her flank at me. Better luck next time, Bear. Still don't find just the sight of you sexy. Unless you wanted to...I don't know...turn into your human self for a little bit and have some fun...okay, no, later. She had things to do that involved me not getting destroyed by her protective older sister. "I trust you've been getting along with them?" I nodded and smiled.

"Yup! Cuddled with all of them and even kissed three of them already!" In hindsight, I'm a fucking moron. Sarah froze in place. The room was silent for a minute. Two minutes. Three- now she's turning around...slowly. On her face was a...smile? Oh. _Oh my god_. That was the single most terrifying smile I'd ever seen in my entire life. My mind was screaming at my body to move, but I couldn't budge. The murderous little twinkle in her eye had crippled me all over again.

" _Is...that...so?_ " she hissed through her curled lips. I was dead. I was about to be killed again. What was this, the third time in a few days? Yeah, her horn was charging. I wondered what spell she would use to do it. Perhaps she would send me to the center of the planet. Maybe she would just turn her horn off and use it to impale me in the face. Or maybe she would turn me into self-aware cocoa-powder, mix me into some warm milk and drink me.

...Wait, where did that last one come from? Holy shit, _I'm a pervert_. That's fucking weird.

But no, what she did do was _much_ worse. It was over in an instant, but _holy fuck_ did it feel wrong. The first thing I noticed was the newly added weight on my chest. I looked down and-

Yep. Those are boobs.

And the second thing I noticed was a general lack of that familiar mass between my legs. A panicked examination confirmed that Sarah had indeed used her fucked up dream magic to turn me into a woman. Was I at least an attractive woman? I couldn't tell; there wasn't a mirror in this room. Oh, yeah, I should have been freaking out... _aaaand_ there it is.

" _AAAAHHHHHhhhh..._ " I started to shriek, but my voice trailed off when I noticed how much higher it was than normal. Sarah, you bitch! Take away these damn boobs, give me back my dick, and most importantly, give me back my wonderful manly singing voice!

Well, I wanted to scream those demands at her, but I was frozen again. I just stared at her. She was now smiling gently, taking in the sight of me being what I hoped was a hot lady Ryan. Screw it, my lady name was Rihanna. With one last smirk, she poofed herself out of my head.

_NOOOOOOOoooooo!_

I would not let her win! _Ha_ , just to spite her, I would enjoy my time with boobs! Yeah, that would show her! Spiteful masturbation would be Sarah's downfall! Now...just have to figure out how to do these things to myself. What would I like? Hrm...

****

Princess Luna blinked awake, her teal eyes opening to examine the room around her. She had been resting her body on the bed right next to where they had set Ryan for the night, after the party had ended. Her body was still pressed up to his...she still had a hard time believing it. Ryan was here, really here, with her. And she had finally shown her true self to him! He hadn't left her! And if those cuddles he had given her were any sign, he didn't mind her alicorn body all that much. Sure, he said he wouldn't be up for engaging in any _activities_ while she wasn't a human, but she knew better. Luna smirked. That was just a challenge for the Princess of the Moon. Soon enough, Ryan would be begging to preen her wings and bite her belly and-

"Princess Luna, you're back!" came the voice of the purple alicorn responsible for this while situation. Luna groaned to herself. If Twilight had only known what she was doing, Ryan could have possibly been a permanent being! But no, he was a ticking time bomb now, filled with the bookworm's purple mind juice. If Twilight hadn't been so close to her older sister, Luna would have unleashed a few _very_ specific dreams upon the newest princess. But as it was, Sparkle was not to be touched.

"Yes, I am back. But I must be off immediately. My sister must be informed of the current situation before she hears it from a different source and gets the wrong idea. I fear Celestia may think Ryan a danger and come down here herself to eradicate him." Twilight Sparkle flinched at the Night Princess's words.

"She...she wouldn't do that to him...would she?" Twilight asked weakly. This whole situation was finally starting to take its mental toll on the poor purple pony. She had started to develop a bit of a nervous twitch and her hair was frazzled beyond a single brush's ability to relieve it. Luna looked down sternly at her sister's student.

"Princess Twilight, you turned Ryan into a bomb. If Celestia thinks he will be a danger to any of her ponies, it would be outside my power to stop her from ridding her lands of it," explained Luna. The pony that had been looking up to her was now looking straight down at the floor.

"I'm...I'm sorry..."

Luna sighed and softened her gaze. Twilight hadn't known what she had been doing. She had brought Ryan here in a moment of desperation. She had cared so deeply about him that she had an EMP and created possibly the strongest magical construct ever to see the light of Celestia's sun.

"Twilight Sparkle, please do not think too badly of yourself. You had no idea what was going on at the time. Your emotions took you for a ride and it just so happens that they wanted to bring the rest of Equestria along as well," she tried to explain calmly. Twilight was still looking down at her hooves, shaking slightly. The Princess of the Night leaned down close to the lavender alicorn and whispered into her ear.

"Besides, I'm glad to see him again," she said softly, a small smile on her lips. Twilight's head shot up and her eyes met Luna's.

"So...it's true...? You're Sarah?" Luna smirked at this question. A slightly more devious expression was touching her facial features now.

"Yes, I am. And from what I heard from Ryan, it seems a few of you have gotten rather ' _close_.'" Twilight's ears folded back quickly and her eyes widened to the size of saucers. Princess Luna grinned and lifted a hoof, patting Twilight's disheveled mane. The smaller pony had tried to make some semblance of intelligent noise, but instead just made a bunch of awkward choking sounds.

"Do not let it happen again, Princess of Friendship. If you were to violate my love twice, I doubt even Celestia would stop me from punishing you somehow. Ryan is already serving his sentence," she said, motioning her regal head towards the body of the sleeping man. He was squeezing his legs together under the blankets, a deep blush on his face. His bottom lip was being ravaged by his teeth. Twilight gulped and nodded back to the Princess standing in front of her. Luna nodded with a happy, innocent little smile before standing up and trotting over to the door.

"Oh, and one more thing~" she called out behind her as she started closing the door to the room with her magic. "Do not let Ryan awake until morning. If I found you disturbed him from his 'rest,' you will be subject to the same treatment he is currently undergoing." And with that, Luna was gone.

Twilight let out a breath and slumped to the floor. By Celestia's sun, was Princess Luna _scary_ when she had felt her property had been tainted. Twilight sat up on shaky legs and gave her head a good side-to-side.

Twilight Sparkle would not be so easily dissuaded though. She would just need to try harder!

A faint moan from the sleeping human behind her brought her back from her thoughts. Just what had Luna put Ryan through inside his own dreams? He was squirming so much...and moaning...

_*Shiver*_

__


	7. S1E7: The Warner Brothers

The train car rattled noisily along the tracks as it barreled forward, its occupants jostled around with every bump, turn or rock it managed to run over. Most of the passengers inside the coaches felt all the motion transferred directly into their bodies, with no way to ease the impact. It wasn't really uncomfortable for them, honestly. It was more of an annoyance that they had learned to live the first time they had ridden with the Friendship Express. The train was rather old and lacked the newer shock improvements of the recent train models. Still, ponies used this train almost religiously. To them, it was a piece of their town's history, and deserved every day of service it could handle before it would eventually be taken out of commission. So, yes, it was a bit rickety and wasn't the most comfortable.

Except for the first-class car.

For this trip to Ponyville from Manehattan, the entire luxury car had been booked by the two ponies who were now lounging on one of the few cushy seats. The seats were nearly the size of beds and could surely be used as such on longer trips. The cushions that lined these bed-seats were far from the standard stiffness of the coach seats. These particular cushions were enchanted to be filled with clouds instead of stuffing. As such, any race of pony or other species could feel the shape-conforming sensations of that wonderful sky cotton that pegasi were so familiar with. The bumps and jerks that the rest of the passengers on the train felt were all but nullified by the clouds inside these seats. This could have possibly been the reason that one of the ponies, a young unicorn stallion, was snoring away loudly where he sat. Well, it could have also been the lack of sleep he had experienced the previous night. Stress hates ponies trying to sleep. The stallion's faded red tail flicked a little in his sleep. His coat was a light grayish-blue color, with a mane that matched his tail. His cutie mark, a feather quill, was proudly displayed on his rear end. On his front section was a wrinkled blue dress shirt with not much else but a pocket adorning it. The shirt had been smoothed out at an earlier point that morning, but his constant tossing and turning on the train seat had reduced it to a disheveled mess once more. Something had truly been bothering the poor stallion. The mumbles and noises he made in his sleep were becoming very bothersome to the other stallion that was on the seat with him.

"Brother, please wake up. You're annoying. And we're almost there," he said sternly. The sleeping pony awoke with a loud snort. His eyes shot open wide and his legs started flailing, sending his body flying off of the seat and onto the hard floor of the train car. He sat there for almost a full minute, groaning. Eventually, his body chose to work once more and he arose onto shaky legs. With the recent motion, the floored pony's mane was now as much of a disaster as his shirt.

"Buck, that hurt..." the faded blue pony complained. His brother, the pony who had woken him up, regarded him with a cold glare. This other pony was ironically a much brighter color than his sloppy companion. His coat was a bright blue, with a darker blue mane and tail to complement him. On his flank rested the mark of a single bit coin. His chosen attire was a neat and sophisticated gray suit; undershirt and tie also present. His aura of authority was completed with the comb-over he had given his mane that morning, making him appear much older than he truly was. He stared at his brother for a few more moments before speaking.

"Brother, you fell on your face. I would have been more surprised if it had felt pleasant." The messy brother puffed in agitation and sat back, crossing his front legs.

"Come on, Time! I'm your bro, just use my name! Just say Prime! Is that so hard?" he pleaded. Time shook his head mechanically, showing he had refuted this point possibly dozens of times before.

"I will not. We are professionals, brother. Or, at least, I am," Time replied, tucking his legs underneath his body. He liked these new seats very much. The advantages of being a pegasus had always somewhat irritated the unicorn, but now he could finally have at least a small taste of this great luxury. Normally, he would have opted for just booking the entire first-class cabin. However, with how old and cheap the Friendship Express was, the ' _first-class cabin with cloud seats_ ' option was even _cheaper_ than a normal ' _first-class cabin with standard seats_ ' on one of the newer train lines! Time had jumped at the this opportunity, and didn't regret it a single bit. He did regret _something_ though: bringing his brother, Prime Warner.

"I take severe offense to that," Prime pouted, hopping back up onto the fluffy cushion and settling back in. The ride wasn't going to last much longer, but he hardly wanted to spend the remainder of the trip on the floor. Time just continued to look at him, a cold, calculating look in his eye.

"Noted. Not that it matters, but noted." Prime was about to draw the issue out further, but he was cut off by a shrill whistle that sounded throughout the cabin. They both knew that they would be arriving at Ponyville Station in a few short moments. Time took these seconds to collect himself, using his magic to smooth over his gray suit one more time. He even ran a brush through his mane, making sure that it was neat and intimidating. This was the first time out to Ponyville on business, and boy, was it important. Orders from the Princess herself! Not that he was complaining, however. The season 8 finale of _OtherWorld_ had already done its job. Surely, every being in Equestria was aware of his show's existence, now! The Princess declared yesterday a holiday! A holiday devoted to his own show...this tickled Time's buttons tremendously. And now, the Princess had ordered that his show's biggest draw character be brought back to life! This was amazing for the bright blue stallion. He got to have his metaphorical cake and eat it, too. To hay with that, he got to eat everypony's cake.

Prime, on the other hoof, spent his time trying to shiver himself deeper into the cushions. He did _not_ want to be there today. But he felt it was his responsibility to see the creator of _OtherWorld_ once again. After all, it was technically _his_ fault that Ryan was killed in the first place...this was a meeting he was _not_ looking forward to.

Time noticed his brother's lack of self-tidying and sighed irritably. The sound of brakes broke the silence and soon enough, the train was slowing to a stop inside of a bright station. The brothers had brought nothing but themselves with them; this was not going to be a multiple-day trip. Just a simple meeting regarding the revival of Ryan Burbank, then back to Manehattan to bask in the afterglow of the sudden publicity.

Once the train had stopped completely, the brothers walked side by side out into the station. Prime suddenly felt very at-home, the familiar rural charm of Ponyville soaking into his shivering muscles. He loved it here...it was so relaxing! The ponies were some of the nicest he had ever met, the air was fresh, and it was never, _ever_ boring. Over the few dozen times he had visited on business, he had been caught up in some sort of disaster at least ten times. After his first trip, he had been terrified of returning. He got over it once he had a second visit, which had been much calmer and very enjoyable. He loved how close-knit and loving the community was towards one another. If he wasn't in the business he was, he would have loved to settle down here...

Time, on the other hand, was disgruntled. To him, this town was...'underdeveloped' was the nicest word he could come up with. Where were the tall buildings? The performance theaters? Every little cottage just looked like a house, save for a few that were too odd to even count as buildings. Why did that one building look like a giant cupcake on top of a gingerbread house? That was just...unsightly. The only building he was vaguely familiar with was the fabulous Carousel Boutique. His favorite clothing designer, Rarity, lived there. She was the one who had made the very suit he was wearing. Maybe he would have to stop by and order something while he was here. As for the rest of the town...besides for the crystal castle towering high above, everything was barbaric and forgettable to him. Prime noticed the scowl on his brother's face and sighed.

"Time, this town is amazing. Just because it's not as big or 'fabulous' as Manehattan doesn't mean it doesn't have its own charm. Last time I was here, I had a bunch of fillies hop up onto my back and ride me around for a bit. It was so cute!" Prime gushed. His brighter-colored brother frowned and refused to look at him.

"So you had a bunch of rapscallions climb your body without your permission and use you as transportation? How ' _charming_.' Maybe next time I want some fun, I'll come around here and get paraded around as a glorified cab. Seriously, brother, I have literally _no idea_ why the Princess of Friendship would choose to stay here. There are plenty of other locations more suitable for royalty than this...dirt trap."

Prime stared at his brother, mouth agape. He stopped walking for a moment, letting Time get ahead of him before resuming his slow pace. While behind his brother, Prime took the opportunity to peek at Time's flank to see if he had somehow gotten something stuck up there. He was sure acting like it.

Nope, nothing there. _Pity_. If he kept it up, Prime's hoof would soon be filling that space.

_Maybe._

They continued walking for a little while, looking for a very specific address that would serve as the location for today's meeting. Before they could get too far, however, a pack of familiar fillies ran up the trailing unicorn.

"PRIME!" they all shouted at once. The younger brother's face brightened instantly. He quickly lowered himself onto the ground, pressing his still-messy shirt into the dirt. The three fillies ran up to him and clambered onto his back, finding comfortable positions and clinging themselves firmly to him. Prime just smiled and stood up, the fillies staying planted securely to his back. These were the same three fillies that had assaulted him last time. They had been shouting something about getting their cutie marks for stallion riding. As uncomfortable as that made him, he let them have their fun by giving them a ride around town on his back. Oh, look! They appeared to have finally gotten their cutie marks! Ooh, they were all very similar. It seemed fitting to the stallion, with how close the three fillies were.

"Girls, you got your cutie marks!" Prime said happily, giving the trio a large grin. They all smiled widely back at him and nodded.

"Uh-huh! Got 'em a lil' while ago, all at the same time!" shouted the red-maned yellow earth pony. Her bow was still the same as Prime remembered: adorably huge on her. They all cheered once more and smacked their hooves together into a three-way high hoof. Aww!

"Awesome! So what is this special talent you all have?" the stallion asked, tilting his head. Ponies getting the same cutie mark was not unheard of, but these were different. They were very similar, but all had their own touches to them. It's like somepony gave out a template and asked the fillies to all fill in the middle with what they wanted. Very interesting. Maybe even good enough for a story...

"Our special talent is helping other ponies find out what they're good at!" exclaimed the orange pegasus. Her tiny wings were buzzing excitedly, sending up a draft that teased her purple mane slightly. Prime really hoped those wings would grow in eventually...

"Oh, really? So what am I good at?" he asked, smiling warmly. The three fillies turned around and looked at the older stallion's flank, examining his cutie mark. It was a very common one to them. They had seen more than one pony with a quill for a cutie mark, but they sometimes meant different things. One pony could have it and be good at writing, while another could have it be good at actually making the quills. The trio had to remember back to when they had met Prime for the first time. He had let them ride around on his back. He also had told them a story about his mother for the duration of it...that's it!

"You're good at telling stories?" offered the little white unicorn filly. Prime was honestly impressed. He had given them enough hints over the couple times they had met, but still. That barely took them a few seconds! He nodded his head and used his magic to mess up their manes a bit. They all giggled and tried to escape his aura.

"Very good! Wow, you girls are good at that." The Crusaders ate up the complement, all three grinning proudly. Prime looked over at his brother, who was still walking at an even pace in front of him. "What about my grumpy brother up ahead?" The girls had to squint to see his cutie mark, but the meaning of a bit was obvious enough.

"He's good with money, right?" asked the orange pegasus. Prime was about to congratulate her, but was cut off by his older brother correcting the young mare.

"Not just money. This cutie mark represents my affinity for all kinds of business. Business, might I add, that you three are currently intruding upon," he said. He voice sounded both cold and annoyed now. Prime sighed and used his magic to rub the heads of the three fillies. The pegasus who had made the guess had flinched back at the harshness of Time's response. Prime hated when his brother was all business. He missed the brother that he had before their mother...

Apparently the trio got over scolding fairly quickly. In an instant, they went from hurt to bouncing on Prime's poor back. What the hay had them so excited now?

"Oh! Prime! We _have_ to tell you something! It's _super_ exciting!" said the previously-scorned orange filly. Prime had nodded for her to continue, but Time's voice interrupted them once more.

"I'll have to ask you three to run along now. We have arrived, Prime. Time to get serious," spat the older brother. Prime scowled but nodded, sighing and lowering himself once more to the ground so that they trio could disperse.

"Sorry, girls, got something to attend to." Amid a chorus of ' _Awwww_ ', Prime raised a hoof. This somehow silenced the cute troop. "You can tell me once I'm done here, okay? Now, I'm sure some others ponies may need help discovering their cutie marks!" The three Crusaders got proud grins once more and let out a loud ' _Whoop!_ ' before running off. Prime smiled and watched them until they were out of sight. When he turned back to his brother, he was met with a disapproving glare.

"You act like just somepony off of the street, brother. You need to start acting like the executive you are," Time scolded. His younger brother just ignored him and faced the door of the cottage they were now standing in front of. This was it. Time to face the music. No more shivering and hiding from mistakes. He was going to _do_ this. Yep. _Aaany_ second now. Just a bit longer-oh, Time already knocked for him.

_Yay?_

At first, nopony answered. It barely seemed like the house had been lived in recently. The windows were all shut and locked tight and it almost looked like someone had boarded up the door from the inside. Then, after almost a full minute, movement could be heard from inside. It started out as just hushed hoofsteps, but the sound grew as what seemed like somepony pulling wood planks from the door could be heard.

The brothers waited patiently, both very curious as to why the door had been boarded up. Maybe the windows were in the same condition? The sounds stopped after a few more minutes and the door's lock could be heard clicking. The door to the cottage was then _very_ slowly opened, a golden eye peeking out. For some reason, the expression in the eye was one of terror. Then, as the eye's gaze fell over the two stallions, the expression softened.

The door swung open the rest of the way, revealing a mint-green unicorn with a cream colored earth pony close behind her. Why were they both trembling? The poor things looked like they were about to have simultaneous heart attacks. It obviously had something to with the door being boarded. Were the two mares hiding from somepony? Something? Ponyville _was_ notoriously close to the Everfree Forest...

"H...Hello...can I...we help you?" stuttered the shivering green mare. Prime just smirked at her and flipped his messy red mane dramatically. The mare flinched at the sudden movement and gave the stallion a better look.

"C'mon, Lyra! Don't tell me you forgot about me!" the younger brother said, giving a fake look of shocked horror. Lyra's eyes widened and a smile grew on her face. She immediately walked forward and gave the playful stallion a neck hug. He returned it, but the sudden contact reminded him of why they were there in the first place. Prime swallowed and gave Lyra a nervous look.

"Prime! We haven't seen you in forever! How you been?" Lyra asked. Relief seemed to have been radiating from her. The stallion gave her a slightly less-nervous smile and became his normally animated self once more.

"Oh, you know, out and about. Got lots of-"

"Miss Heartstrings, as lovely as it is you see you two engaging one another, we do have business to attend to. May we come in?" Time interrupted. His younger brother whipped his head around, his cheeks puffed up and red. Prime had trouble deciding whether he should have felt anger or embarrassment. Instead, he just went silent and looked down. Lyra tilted her head at Time but nodded all the same. She stepped aside and let the two brothers inside, leading them to a table that had been flipping back upright just a few moments ago. Why had it been flipped?

"Okay, so what's up?" Lyra inquired, turning around and looking at them. Both Prime and Time took their seats, getting comfortable. The mint mare did the same once she found another chair that hadn't been used as a barricade. The brothers waited patiently until both Lyra and Bon-Bon were settled before beginning.

"We're here on behalf of our company, _Olivia Warner Productions_. Thanks for seeing us on such short notice," Time spoke first. At the mention of OW, Lyra's eyes went wide again.

"You're the _owners_ of OW? But...I thought Dream Catcher was our agent!" she said rather loudly. Prime recoiled from the sudden noise while Time simply twitched his ear. Dream Catcher was one of their agents, a black-maned pegasus with a coat of very, very dark gray. The younger brother was the one to answer her.

"Dream Catcher's been on leave for awhile. His wife, Marvel, left him to go work for the Princess of Love in the Crystal Empire. He's been angst-ing up the office ever since. We gave him some time off to cool down," Prime told her. Lyra took a few moments to ponder this before nodding her head. Time nodded in response.

"Now, before we begin, I believe introductions are in order. As you already seem to know, this is my brother, Prime Warner," Time said, pointing to his younger sibling. Prime made a silly face at the two mares, trying to lighten the mood. Both Lyra and Bon-Bon gave a tiny giggle under their breath. Time just grunted. "And I am Time Warner, President and Co-Founder of _Olivia Warner Productions_. Pleased to meet you." The two mares nodded and greeted him back.

"Please to meet you too, sir," they said at the same time. Prime smiled faintly at this. They were very close friends, after all. Of course they were overlap each other every so often. Time nodded his head. He was even smiling faintly!

"Since this is my first time meeting the esteemed storyteller behind _OtherWorld_ , I would like to express some sincere gratitude. I don't know if you were aware, but your show saved our company. Before _OtherWorld_ , we were in very deep financial trouble. We were even planning on merging with _Common Caster Studios_! Thankfully, my brother found your talent and expressed his desire to see it on our gem line. You and your story are the sole reason OW is what is it today, and I thank you for that." Time finished his speech and watched the two mares give him strange looks. They appeared to have wanted to ask him something, but decided against it and nodded.

"You're welcome, sir. I didn't know Prime was the co-owner of OW. I thought he was just a talent scout. He seems so..." Lyra started.

"Unprofessional?" Time finished. Lyra shrugged while Prime rolled his eyes.

"Something close to that," she confessed. Prime smirked again and leaned back in his seat, make the wooden chair creak under his weight.

"Oh, I am a talent scout. But I just so happen to be _the_ talent scout. I go around looking for cool stories that might make good gem line shows and try to recruit them to OW!" he said, a bit of pride showing through. He loved his job, he truly did. Getting to travel around Equestria, hearing loads of new stories every day? This was his dream. He just wished his brother treated those storytellers better...

"Well, then. Now that that's out of the way, down to business. As I'm sure you've already heard, Princess Celestia has tasked us with bringing Ryan back to life. Isn't that great?" Time stated. Lyra's eyes widened and she swallowed nervously. Prime caught on to her new attitude instantly, his eyes scanning over her now trembling body. What was wrong now?

"Yes...well, uh...there might be an itsy bitsy... _teensy weensy_ little problem with that..." Lyra mumbled. Time's eyebrow raised slowly. He looked almost like he was challenging the poor mare to defy him.

"And that would be?" he asked. His voice sent a shiver down the spines of the two mares in the room.

"I, uh...kinda can't...remember him..." Lyra could barely be heard at this point. Somehow, Time had figured out what she had said with no problem whatsoever. His eyes narrowed and his voice got even darker.

"And just **what** do you mean by that?" He was becoming frightening to everypony now, even his younger brother. Prime had only seen his older sibling act this way a handful of times, and all of them had ended in violence. He didn't want to have to fight his big brother...but he would not allow his brother to hurt poor Lyra. Bon-Bon either for that matter. Well, actually, Bon-Bon could probably fend for herself, even if she wasn't a unicorn. Already, her eyes were narrowed and locked onto Time's horn, waiting to see if he would dare attack Lyra. Prime also noticed her hooves wrapping themselves under the table, ready to flip it to defend her friend. The younger brother scooted a little bit away from Time, out of the path of what might become a projectile table. Lyra fidgeted around for a few moments before trying to explain her current situation.

"W-well...um...during the last e-episode...uh...s-somepony stole...m-my memories of him..." Lyra's stuttering was the worst that both Bon-Bon and Prime had ever heard. Granted, Prime had only been around her a few times before, but she was always enthusiastic and hard to offend. The younger brother was becoming even more agitated at his sibling for doing this to her.

"That makes _literally_ no sense," growled Time Warner. Every body in the room tensed up, waiting for somepony to make the next move. Silence reigned supreme until Lyra managed to try explaining further.

"I know...it's weird t-to me too...b-but it's true...it even p-put me into the hospital for a day..." she said to the brothers. Prime's eyes widened and he took what she had said into further account. Was that even possible? To go into another pony's head and _steal_ their memories? Actually, that would explain the sudden cut-out last episode. She was supposed to trigger another _GemShow_ advert, but the projection had just cut to black. Could she be telling the truth? Prime was broken from his thoughts by his brother, whose horn was giving off a dangerous amount of static electricity, a warning that he was getting close to attacking. Prime acted before his brain could stop him.

The younger brother swung his hoof out, catching Time on his chest and sending him flying backwards. The chair underneath Time cracked for a split second before splintering into pieces and flying around the room. Time hit the ground and rolled a few times before his hooves could adjust to his new position. He shot up quickly, going into an aggressive stance. His horn was glowing with a spell that Prime had seen used much too often. Prime jumped up and stood in front of the stunned mares. The younger brother adopted the same stance, his horn charging to meet his sibling's.

" **What is this, brother?!** " Time shouted. The air around his horn was cracking and sizzling with the spell that was so desperately trying to escape. Prime snorted and stomped at the ground, making sure his body completely blocked the angered stallion from the two mares.

Lyra and Bon-Bon sat there in shock. What was going on? The violence had broken out so quickly! They were both unaware of what had triggered Time. All they were sure of was that if Prime hadn't struck first, the older brother probably would have.

" _I will_ not _allow you to hurt them, Time!_ " Prime responded. "You always do this! As soon as anypony says anything that you don't like, you hurt them! Not this time!" His voice grew shaky for a second before he corrected it. Time's response was giving his little brother the most deadly glare that either mare had ever _seen_. They were both convinced that if the two weren't brothers, that house would have become a war-zone. Bon-Bon was no stranger to fighting, and even _she_ had never seen such pure malice behind the gaze of another pony. It almost looked like his eyes were traveling along Prime's body, figuring out possible ways to take it apart painfully.

And then it was over.

Time lost his aggressive stance and regained his composure. Prime did the same, albeit cautiously. The older brother looked down at his suit, which now had a long tear running through it. This prompted an angry snort from Time Warner.

"Very well, then. _You_ handle this situation, brother. I will be at the Carousel Boutique, getting my suit repaired. It's lucky you chose to do this now, while we are so close to a tailor," he said, no emotion whatsoever in his voice. He quickly turned around and walked calmly out of the house, leaving behind two shaken mares and a shivering stallion.

Lyra and Bon-Bon stared after Time Warner until he was out of sight. Once he was long gone and they were out of immediate danger, they turned their gazes to Prime. He was still staring at the spot his older brother had been standing, his legs trembling. Then the poor stallion swayed and fell to the floor, his body letting out a loud ' _Thump_ ' on impact. He had made no effort to correct himself. He had just left gravity take him to the ground.

The two mares gasped and galloped over to where he had fallen. When they searched his body for any signs of injury, they were relieved to find none. He was trembling all over, but completely unharmed. It was then that they noticed the tears that were streaming down his face.

"Prime! Prime, are you okay?" Lyra asked, lowering herself to the ground with him and pushing herself up against his body in an affectionate cuddle. He stopped crying slightly when he felt her, but his body retained the trembling that had overtaken it. Bon-Bon was busy closing and locking the door. After she had finished that mission, she quickly took off to the bedroom. She returned a moment later with a large, fluffy blanket that she carefully draped over Prime's shaking body. Lyra had also been caught under the blanket with him, their shared body heat warming them quickly.

"I thought...I thought he was really going to k-kill me that time..." Prime sobbed. The ears of the two roommates splayed back at these words. Just how bad was their relationship that the little brother actually feared for his life? And for Prime to have stood in front of the pony he feared so greatly just to protect them...

"Shh, it's okay, Prime. He's gone, it's okay..." Lyra cooed to him. Bon-Bon had paced around to the other side of the stallion and chose to lay down there, but on top of the blanket instead of under it. She gave the shivering stallion pitying glances every so often, but mostly kept her eyes trained on the door, in case Time Warner decided to come back. Prime slowly pushed himself against Lyra, finding comfort in her presence.

"He...he's been like that since...I just...I just want my brother back..." the stallion whispered painfully. Lyra wanted to ask what he meant by 'since', but she chose not to. Right now, Prime just needed somepony there to watch over him. It seemed like this had been an ongoing problem for possibly years, with nopony for him to go to for help. Even back when she had first met him, he had been reluctant to talk about his family. Was this why?

Just what had happened to these two to split them apart so much?

****

I was getting really fucking tired of waking up and wishing everything that had happened had been a nightmare. Not the whole dying or pony thing; I was already aware of that. I couldn't really deny my current situation when I had spent multiple days in this new world. Well, I guess it had been my world all along, I had just been unaware of it.

No, what I wished had been the nightmare was the entire interaction I had last night with Princess Luna. Or was it Sarah? I didn't fucking know anymore. All I knew was that when I woke up, it wasn't peacefully. My eyes shot open and I leapt up, frantically searching around for somewhere to hide. I didn't even know what I was hiding from, but I wanted to be invisible. The room I had been placed in was large but pretty much empty except for a bed and a few dressers. Without any other idea, I jumped off the bed and landed roughly on the crystal floor. I was sure I was making a ruckus, but I didn't care at that point. My body spun around on its own and flung itself to the ground, straight under the bed. It took a few seconds to squirm my way completely under, but I had managed. Now that my body was safe, my mind started to remind me of everything that had just happened.

I was just a character from a show brought to life with magic.

I was unstable, and freaking out too much could possibly make me blow up.

Sarah was actually an ungodly powerful alicorn princess.

She had told me everything while I was under the influence of a forceful calming spell so that I would accept everything easier.

She had gotten me to take her back after she left me, also while under said calming spell. Wasn't that eerily close to mind rape?

She had gotten pissed at me for kissing some ponies on their heads _after_ I thought she didn't want me anymore.

She had punished me by feminizing me for a whole night. I had been trapped in my head, in a form that I didn't like.

And man, that forceful calming spell thing, _that_ was shit. Who had been doing that? Oh, yeah, fucking Twilight. Why had she taken away my conscious consent like that...? I mean...I know they had to keep me from blowing up and all, but still. They had sprung so much information on me and forced me to just...be fine with it. This was all...fuck it. I felt like screaming, so I did.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Well, that felt good. But now I was faced with another problem: I was shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. When did that start? I guess it had been a long time coming...I had tried my best to just accept everything and move on, but it just...mounted up after awhile. I tried to relax, but have you ever actually _tried_ to relax? It's a fucking paradox. Jokes could only keep me running for so long before I broke down. Cuddles helped a bunch but now I was without any. My family would...

Oh.

They weren't even real.

Never were.

It was finally hitting me. Mom wasn't real. Dad was just an idea. Emily was created to be a part of my story. The only real thing I had ever known was Sarah, and even she was just a pony wearing a human outfit. Everything had been a lie. I probably shouldn't have even been here. Would it be better if I just went back to the head of the pony who thought me up?

As I continued my internal rant, I became vaguely aware of something odd. The bed I was hiding under was shaking slightly, the sheets being blown around. Even the air around it was acting weird. It was like those weird heat lines you see over things when the sun's out. This wasn't the strange thing, though.

I was seeing it from above. My vision...it...wasn't with me. It was like I was in third-person, looking down at my trembling body. As the bed picked up motion and my body shook harder, I felt like I was drifting farther away from it. The noise from the scene was becoming more and more muted. The light was starting to fade...or was it? It might have just been me. Oh, boy. Tunnel vision. I just hope nobody left any TVs around to swallow me. Heh...

The second weird thing started to happen. I could just barely hear a voice...it was distant, at first. But the farther away my vision drifted from my body, the clearer the voice became. It was...too familiar.

"I just hope he didn't know who I was...who knows what he would do to me? I killed him!"

No...it couldn't be. That voice...

Mom?

No, it's not, it can't...but...it was...

"I know I'll have to talk to him! But...not right now, okay?"

She sounded scared about something. What was happening? Did it involve me somehow? This wasn't making any sense! I was so sure Mom wasn't real...maybe...she...could she be real, too? Like Sarah? The voice was getting closer now.

_"I know, Bon-Bon...but I just...can't..."_

Bon-Bon? Who the fuck was Bon-Bon? I didn't fucking know, but I didn't care. If my mom was there, I wanted to be there with her! Please, just let me get a little bit closer...any moment...

"Oh sweet Celestia, Ryan!"

Oh, great. Another voice wanted me. What do you want now, other voice? This one was too far away to recognize, but-

"RYAN!"

HOLY FUCK!

With a flash of light, I was sucked away from the voice of my mom and pulled back to where I had been hiding. Goddamn it, that was Twilight's voice! What did she just do?! I had been so close...and- uh...what the shit? What happened to this room? I was just here a few moments ago, but in that time, it looked like a fire had broken out. The bed that my body was under was pretty much gone. Only a few burnt splinters were left scattered around. I was still looking down at myself, but the light that had pulled me away from Mom was still sucking me closer to my body. Oh, great. More magic taking control over me. Fucking perfect. Just what I needed.

With one more bright flash, my vision was clicked firmly back into my own body. It took a moment, but the pain hit.

OUCH.

My skin felt charred. My muscles felt like that had been torn apart and hastily pushed back together. My whole body felt sore...and naked. Wait, naked? Like, no clothes at all, bare-ass naked? ...Yup. Clothes were gone. Twilight, what did you do?!

The first breath I took after regaining my body was excruciating. My throat felt like no kind of liquid had ever passed through it, ever. Even spit. I quickly tried to gather some saliva to send down. Man, that hurt.

And then, Twilight hugs. She had clung to my prone body, and was sobbing her pretty little eyes out. I would have comforted her, but I was still trying to figure out just what the hell had taken place. Why did the room look burnt? Why had the bed exploded? Where were my clothes? Why had I been looking down at myself? And why could I hear...my mom?

"Ryan... _I'm so sorry_...I...you almost... _Oh, buck_...s-sorry..." she choked through her sobs. Yeah, no kidding, Purple. First you help Luna...Sarah...manipulate my mind, now you stole me from Mom!

"Wha...what...hap...pened...?" I groaned. My voice sounded like I been smoking all of the cigarettes. Like, every one ever made, I had smoked it. Even the ones that others had smoked. Twilight sniffled and clung to me tighter. Oh, god, did her body feel weird against my bare skin. The only parts of me to have touched her before that point were my face and hands. Now I could feel her _everywhere_.

"You...almost went off..." she said quietly. I almost went off? The hell does that-

Oh. Yeah. I'm an unstable bomb.

And I let myself have a freak out.

...

Well, at least I know Sarah was telling the truth about that shit. Now I could at least be prepared to take it more seriously. By the way the room looked, the explosion really _would_ be monstrous. I hadn't even fully cooked and the room was trashed. I just hoped Twilight hadn't gotten hurt...yeah, I was still mad at her, but I didn't want to cause her actual physical pain. I was hoping for more of a stern talking-to. Speaking of which...talking. Need something to help with that before I spank the purple pony.

And no, that's not a fucking innuendo for anything.

"Wa...ter...would be nice..." I choked out. Twilight blinked at me for a moment before nodding and running off. I just rested there, taking slow, deep breaths. The pain was slowly receding and my muscles felt less stitched together. It was like...my body was settling back into itself. At this point, I was pretty sure that it was doing exactly that. I had almost went off. Twilight had stabilized me and fixed my body. And that voice...if Luna could be Sarah...was my mom also a pony? Faint memories entered my mind regarding the dream conversation I had last night.

 _"As it is, you should have already disappeared and the memories of you should have gone back to your storyteller."_ Sarah's voice echoed in my head. The implications of what had just happened hit me like a ton of bricks.

Holy shit, that was probably my storyteller.

If that was indeed my storyteller, my creator, she used her voice in her head to portray my mom. That...is really creepy. Just then, Twilight burst back into the room, a glass of water held in her magic aura. That wasn't all she brought, however. Following behind her were the other five ponies I had come to know as good friends. Well, this was embarrassing. I'm not even dressed for the occassion-HOLY FUDGE ON A STICK, I'M NUDE.

My hands shot down to cover the goods I could thankfully feel once more, my arms aching in protest. Memories of last night's female session popped back into my head and just me even more sour. I was so going to flip Sarah's shit over that. How would she feel if I magic'd her limbs away or something? Urgh...thoughts for later. Right now I had to keep myself from flashing a group of adorably cuddly ponies with my junk. Twilight ran up to my side and floated the glass close. She was actually pretty smart about it. The glass had a cute little bendy straw sticking out of it and everything.

Almost reminded me of...the hospital...with Emily...

I choked up a bit, a stray tear finding its way down my cheek. The other ponies had been rather nervous about getting closer to me, and all seemed to be blushing deeply. But when they saw me crying, they moved forward quickly. While I slurped greedily on the straw, Fluttershy started flying around frantically. What was her deal? Oh, maybe she was taking a look at my body to make sure I wasn't injured. She looked over sick animals or some shit, right? Yeah, she's...Oh my god, that's adorable. She's carrying a tiny little first-aid kit in her mouth! Aww! Unfortunately for her, I don't think there was anything in that little box that could fix me. Thanks for the thought, though, Flutters.

"Ryan, are you okay? What happened?" asked the mass of pink that had parked itself right in front of my face. The shock of the sudden invasion caused me to sputter and almost inhale the water I had been drinking, sparking a coughing fit. Pinkie Pie was once again lifted away from me with magic, but this time it was Rarity who had saved me. She was looking over me, her face stuck in horror. Oh, geez, my clothes. She had loved them so much, and she didn't even get a sample of that denim. I had burned those away by accident...sorry for making you sad, Rarity.

But apparently that wasn't the problem.

She leapt down and wrapped her soft white legs around my neck. When she pulled me in close, I could feel her shaking slightly. Oh, no...she was crying. Please, don't let the others...

They are. All of them except for Applejack. Even Pinkie was tearing up a bit when she saw the state I had been in. The room told the story of what had transpired during the last fifteen minutes or so. I'm sure they all heard it as well. I am so fucking _sick_ of making things cry. Sure, I hurt. Sure, I was just on the updraft after an emotional outburst so extreme I almost detonated. Sure, it was still tingly where my dick had disappeared during my dream the night earlier. But I was still me.

"Guess I'm hotter than I thought I was," was my crack at the time. Yeah, it was weak. I could have come up with much better had I not been butt-naked on top of the smoldering remains of what used to be a bed. To my relief, however, it seemed to work. The ponies all stopped crying and looked at me like I had two heads. Actually, three heads. Number two was being hidden by my hands. Rainbow Dash was the first to recover. She had a hoof over her face, but couldn't hide her smirk.

"Dork," she chuckled. The others tried not to smirk along with her, but it was a losing battle. They soon began to chuckle, despite the tears that were running down their faces. I tried to laugh along, but my mood quickly soured once more. I just couldn't be as bubbly as I usually was...not with everything that had been happening. The cuddle that Rarity was giving me was certainly helping, though. Twilight noticed my mood and tried to cuddle me, too. I flinched away from her. Her hurt expression was painful for me to see, but I needed to get this off of my chest.

"I'm mad at you, Twilight," I said flatly. The Princess's eyes shot open, still red from crying. The other mares all gave me confused looks before turning to their friend.

"What's he talkin' bout, Twi? What'd ya do?" Applejack asked. Twilight's head shot between her friends and me multiple times, her mouth trying to choke out some words. Finally, after it was obvious she wasn't going to manage speech, I sighed and tried sitting up. Oh, yeah, I'm still naked. Rarity was now hanging off of me, refusing to let go. Déjà Vu.

"We'll talk about it...but, um...do you have something I can wear, first?" I asked. Another one of those ' _Squee_ ' sounds was building up near my chin. Below, Rarity's smile was widening to almost Pinkie Pie levels, her eyes filled with stars once more. Oh, yeah, almost forgot. Rarity was probably dying to make her favorite human some clothes.

Unfortunately for her, Twilight was faster. With a flash of purple light, Twilight disappeared. I blinked at the spot where she had been standing, trying to rid my vision of the imprint the bright light had left in my eyes.

Huh. Well, there goes Twil- oop, she's back. _Aaand_ I'm blind again. Fuck!

Something soft and light dropped into my lap, right on top of my hands. After blinking away the stars in my vision, I was stunned to see a set of clothes very similar to the ones I burned away. The only different was the...logo...plastered...on...the...side...oh shit, why did they sell Ryan-brand underwear?!

"Um...Twilight...?" I asked slowly, still staring at the new pile of clothes. The white mare around my neck was apparently hissing at them. Not up to your standards, Rarity? Interesting.

"Yes...?" she replied. Her face was bright red and her hooves were scuffing the floor nervously. The other ponies around her were giving her looks that ranged from confused to suspicious.

"Where...did you get these? And why do you...well, own them?" I looked up at the blushing alicorn, whose gaze was now firmly locked onto the floor of the room.

"They're, uh...part of my...collection," she said, her last word fading away to nothing. It was quiet, but still audible. My body froze, as did every other pony in the room. Did we just hear what we thought we heard?

Holy crap, Twilight had a collection of me-stuff. She had a pair of Ryan-model underpants...what could she even do with these? I could see the hoodie she had been wearing when she summoned me; that was a pony hoodie, designed for ponies. The clothes she just gave me...they were tailored for me exclusively. Then a strange thought hit me. And howdy-boy-shit did it frighten me.

"Twilight...you don't own...um...a ' _replica_ ' of me, do you?" I asked hesitantly. Please say no, please say no, please say no! I don't think I would be able to cuddle with her again if I found out she had been 'cuddling' with me long before I truly existed...

" _Nonononono!_ " she shot out, waving her hooves frantically in front of her. _Oh, thank fucking Jeebus..._ I let out the breath I was holding, becoming suddenly aware of the laughter that was filling the room. Rainbow Dash, of course, was getting endless enjoyment out of the interaction we just had. I wouldn't laugh so hard, Dashie. After all, Twilight's not the one who's going to be wearing panties~

"Laugh it up, Dash! We'll be going to Rarity's soon anyway for your ' _fitting._ '" This shut her up instantly. Now her face was just as red, if not more so, than Twilight's. Rarity looked up at me, her head tilted.

"What was that, dear?" she inquired. I just smiled at her and pointed over at the cowering prismatic pegasus.

"Dash and I made a bet to see how many ponies I would make faint. I won. Loser had to wear a dress around town for a whole day," I explained happily. Poor Rainbow Dash had tried to sink lower and lower with every word. The grin that had been adorning my face spread to the white fashionista as her head swiveled around to view Dash's trembling form.

"Oh, is that correct? I have _so_ many ideas I've just been _dying_ to try out on you, Rainbow Dash~" she sang. I wasn't even the target of her teasing and even **I** was frightened by the way she said that. Did...did I just murder Dashie? From the way the pegasus was trying to scoot away from the rest of us, I think I did. Sorry, Dash!

"I'm okay to go, I think...I need some clothes, too. Would you mind making me some, Rarity?" I asked, patting the glamorous mane of the white mare that was still clinging to me. The ' _Squee_ ' started coming back again. To combat this, I gently placed my finger to her lips and shook my head. " _After_ I put these clothes on. There's no way I'm walking outside, naked, when I know that some other ponies might own underwear modeled after me." Rarity stopped her squeaking and nodded, but a blush still managed to work its way onto her face. I gently pried her from around my neck and placed her down next to her friends, careful to keep the pile of clothing covering me at all times. She turned around and tried to hug me, but I stopped her.

"Hup-hup-hup, nope. Clothes, _first_. Cuddles, _after_." She pouted a bit at this, but a quick lift of my eyebrow sent her trotting to the door of the room. Her friends all followed her outside in order to give me some privacy; all except for one.

Twilight.

Good, I needed to talk to her anyway about the whole ' _magic mind rape_ ' thing she had done to me. That shit was _not_ cool. She was just standing there, her eyes focused on something. It took me a moment to figure out she was staring at the pile of clothes on my lap, her eyes begging for the clothes to move _just a little bit_. Huh, guess she forgot to sneak a peek back when shit was going down. Her loss, I'm not giving her a show, especially after knowing that she owned a model of my usual outfit. Including the goddamn underwear. God, it bothered the hell out of me that they sold stuff like that.

A quick clearing of my throat got her attention. She blinked up at me, almost in a daze. When she saw my slightly stern expression, her eyes widened back open and she became her usual attentive self.

"Uh, yeah, I gotta change. Could you turn around for a sec?" I asked her, my hands pressing down on the clothes so that absolutely nothing could be visible. Twilight's eyes darted from side to side as she nodded. What was that about? When she turned around, though, I saw why. She had tried to stealthily float a small mirror up to face, aiming it right behind her...where I was sitting. Luckily, I hadn't moved yet so the only thing she saw was my unimpressed glare staring back at her.

She yipped and dropped the mirror, sending it to the ground where it smashed into dozens of glass shards. Wonderful. I don't even have shoes yet- oh, nevermind. She had a replica set of those, too. I sighed and waited until she was perfectly still before sliding the underwear on. After those, I took my time a bit more. Twilight was busy shuffling her hooves around.

"So...why are you mad at me...?" she asked. Oh, god, she sounded terrified. I almost wanted to run up and hug her to make her feel better, but this conversation had to happen. For the sake of my goddamn future sanity.

"Because you messed with my mind, Twi," I answered, trying to keep my voice emotionless. Inside, I was pretty goddamn angry about it, but I didn't truly think it was _Twilight_ that was at fault. At least, not at too much fault. She flinched from where she stood. I guess she had expected it to be something involving last night.

"I'm sorry, Ryan!" she blurted out. "I was just trying to keep you safe...from yourself..." Okay, I didn't know what to feel anymore. She probably did save me from having an earlier freak-out. Now that I had seen the destructive power of what I could become, I couldn't entirely blame her.

"Twilight...did Luna make you do that?" I asked. The purple alicorn froze for a moment before slowly nodding. Just as I had expected. Sarah probably either forced or guilted the poor pony into using that forceful calm spell on me. A sigh escaped my lips as I slid my new hoodie on. The clothes were...similar, but different at the same time. The hoodie felt mostly the same, just a bit smaller than I was used to. The pants, however, felt way off. They _looked_ close enough, but the fake denim was really weird. Almost felt like lounge pants. They were actually really comfy, but not jeans. The shoes were a size too small, but would work until Rarity could make me some.

"Aren't you a Princess, too? You don't have to let her shove you around, you know...do things your own way. Thanks for the thought, though. You might have kept me calm, but...just, fuck. I hate feeling like someone else, Twi..." I was losing track of my original irk at this point. Everything was just so jumbled and confusing...Twilight turned around to look at me, her eyes turning from guilt to concern. What? Was something on me?

"Is...something else wrong? You seem...down..." she contemplated. I just gave her a tired smirk and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Yeah, I'm finally accepting that I wasn't real until a couple days ago. I wasn't real, my family's still not real...and I'm not entirely convinced I'm real, even now," I told her. She tilted her head at that last part.

"What do you mean?" she asked. I just sighed and looked at the floor, trying to put words to my thoughts.

"I just...I was so sure everything was real before I came here. Who's to say that this isn't the same situation? What if...I...we're all just pieces in someone else's story? Again? I...I don't know anymore, Twilight...it's just really... _really_ scary..." I was starting to shiver again. Twilight quickly trotted up to me and wrapped herself around my shivering form. Ahhh...that's nice...I didn't care if she messed up, she had the best of intentions, honestly. Sarah had probably intimidated her into doing it. I knew Sarah, she was assertive like that.

"Ryan...we all still cared about you before you came here. Even then, you were real to us." Huh, that saying again. I wonder if it actually applied more to my situation than I thought...these ponies, man. I wondered if these creatures ate, drank and shat love.

"Thanks, Twi...I'm sorry for scaring you with the whole explosion thing...and I forgive you for messing with my mind. Well, on the condition that if Luna tells you to do anything like that again, you tell her that Ryan said to stuff it." Twilight got a little laugh at this and nodded.

"What did she even do to you in your sleep? You were moaning...so much...she...Luna threatened to do the same to me if I let you wake up before morning." Oh, did she, now? Sarah, you're getting in some deep shit, here. We're definitely going to have a _looong_ talk next time we see each other.

"She changed my gender," I told her with a grimace. Twilight blinked for a few moments before the largest blush I'd ever goddamn seen on any living creature spread across her cheeks. Whoa, she's turning purple. Oh, yeah. She was that color already. I guess she was imagining herself with a big ol' schlong between her legs for an entire night. Yeah, gender changing was messed up if you weren't consenting. I remember trying to enjoy it, but no. It was just traumatizing.

"C'mon, Twi. I think the others already left for Rarity's place. Guess everybody just _has_ to see Dash get dressed up," I said, smiling down at the flustered princess. She smiled up at me and nodded. I stood up, once again towering above the little equine. Together, we walked out of the door and out of the castle.

Whoa.

This was the first time I had actually been out of the castle. The air here was so...fresh. And holy fuck, the _colors_. Seeing the town through a window from a distance was one thing, but actually being there...man. The environment was pretty much the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. The sun, the grass, the trees, the...many, many multi-color ponies walking around. Seeing a sea of ponies just going about their business in the daylight was truly a sight to behold. I tried making a list of all the colors I could spot. I kept going until somewhere around Macaroni before I got a color-induced headache and stopped.

" _Wyan!_ " shouted an adorably familiar voice. A huge smile spread across my face. I spun around slowly, kneeling down to meet the tiny unicorn filly. Dinky hopped up into my arms, snuggling against my new hoodie. Just behind her, the pegasus mare from last night trotted up to me with a smile.

"I see you're doing better, Ryan!" she said. Aw, her voice was so bubbly! She just seemed like a happy pony all around. Her cutie mark was...bubbles. How amazingly suitable for her. I ran my fingers through Dinky's mane while smiling at the mare in front of me.

"Yes, ma'am! I didn't get your name last night," I told her. She just smiled again and held her hoof out.

"I'm Derpy!" she proudly stated, her one eye still locked on something way off to the side. I...I hope that wasn't actually her name. That was kind of dickish if that word held the same meaning here as it did on Earth. Oh, well. She doesn't seem too offended by it, so I guess it's fine. I quickly took her hoof in my hand and shook it firmly. Derpy beamed up at me and giggled. Adorable.

"I see my little muffin said hello already," Derpy said as she walked up and patted Dinky's back. I laughed a bit and held the little filly up. She started making the cutest little ' _Weeee!_ ' sounds. I was powerless against my new hat. I had to follow her command, so I placed Dinky upon my head and stood up.

" _Whooooaaaa!_ " she exclaimed, looking around with an excited glint in her eyes. "You're so tall, Wyan!" Oh my god, can I be a dad, like, right now? I wanted a kid of my own to ride around on my head and tell me how tall I was. But...I guess that wasn't going to happen, being the only real human. No, nope. Not time for sad thoughts. We got a Dashie to embarrass! And with that, I resumed my walk towards Rarity's place. I didn't know where the fuck anything was, so I had to wait for Twilight and Derpy to walk ahead of me. They chatted a little bit about shit I didn't care about. I had something much more exciting: my own Dinky hat! I wore her proudly, marching through the streets of Ponyville like I owned the place.

"This is Wyan!" Dinky shouted at every pony we passed. It took all of my concentration to not burst out laughing every single time she said it. The looks on the faces of the ponies who hadn't seen me at the party were priceless. After a little while, we had a crowd of ponies following us. Well, mainly me. More than once, I had to stop to talk to some pony who had brought out some piece of merchandise from my show that they just _had_ to show me. It was so cute; each one was like a kid who was proud of a new toy and had to show every passing stranger. Luckily, nothing I was shown was too creepy.

One little colt had brought me a pen with the name _OtherWorld_ on it. Huh, I guess that was the name of the show. Kept forgetting it. Anyway, he didn't seem to know what the hell it was. I doubt any ponies could even use one, save for the unicorns. They were all thrilled when I clicked it open and started signing some of the gifts that they had shown me. Dinky had been sitting on my head the whole time, dictating which pony would get an autograph next. It was like I had my own little referee on my noggin. Poor Twilight and Derpy had to wait until the line went away before we could continue to Rarity's. I offered them a sheepish smile as compensation.

Even Dinky got to show her mother the autograph I had left on the side of her Ryan doll, which she had apparently wrapped around her neck like a necklace. Derpy just gave me a small hug before we continued on our way. She really did seem like an awesome mom.

This day started off rough, but after the crowd of ponies asking for my attention and signature, I had been feeling loads better. It lifted my spirits so much to make ponies smile...I had been making too many cry lately. I just hoped this helped make up for it somewhat. As long as I was around these sweet ponies, I felt more stable than I had since...I don't know, ever?

We finally managed to reach Rarity's place. Oh, yeah, the place looked like a carousel. That was probably where the white mare had gotten the idea to name it Carousel Boutique from. Makes sense to me. I picked up a protesting Dinky from my head and set her down on Derpy's back.

"No! I want to stay with you!" she whined. I just ran my hand through her mane one more time and gave her a friendly smile.

"Sorry, Dinks. Got some business in here and I'm pretty sure Dash doesn't want it getting around," I explained, more to Derpy than to Dinky. The mother mare got the hint and nodded, giving both Twilight and me a parting hug before setting off. I saw Dinky complaining the whole time, but she luckily didn't defy her parent. I looked after the two longingly...I wished I could have a family. I was really looking forward to having one at some point...and- Shit, I started doing it again. I gave my head a quick shake and follow Twilight inside-

-and promptly burst into laughter. Inside, Rarity was trying her hardest to pry Rainbow Dash away from the window she had been trying to escape out of. This shit was gold. I wished Twilight had created me with a phone or something, this scene begged to be preserved. But no such luck was had. I would just have to treasure it as it took place.

"NO! Let me go!" shouted Dash, her hooves barely wrapped around the window. Her blue wings were flapping so fast that I could barely see them. Rarity was using both her magic and her mouth in her attempt to pull her prismatic friend back into her clutches. I just strutted over to the fashionista.

"Yo, mind if I go first?" I asked her nonchalantly. This broke Rarity's concentration and she accidentally let go of Dash. Poor Rainbow was sent sailing into the wall at full speed, firmly planting herself into it.

"Oooh..." we all went at the same time. That looked like it fucking _hurt_. But what do I know? I launched myself into a crystal wall and cracked the damn thing. Cartoon physics, man. The blue pegasus slid down the wall in a comedic style. Woo, that's almost funny enough to laugh at. Which is probably why I had been busting a gut.

"BWAHAHAHAAAAAA!~" I sang in the song of my people. Pinkie must have fed off of laughter or something, because at my outburst, she started bouncing around the room at the speed of...laughs, I guess. Rarity cleared her throat from behind us, drawing our attention.

"Yes, well...step up on this platform, Mr. Burbank. Let momma take your measurements~" Oh my god. Now she had directed her insatiable lust for disturbing the hell out of things towards me.

"I...I need an adult...?" I choked. Rarity just gave the biggest shit-eating grin ever and moved closer with half-lidded eyes. She had armed herself with a tape-measure of death. I was doomed.

"Oh, Ryan, darling. I am an-" she was cut off by the jingle of the door opening.

All the ponies in the room turned to look at the doorway. A younger looking stallion stepped through, his eyes fixed forward. He had some kind of adorable pony business suit on, with a long rip through it. Yeesh. Looked like he got in some kind of scuffle. Rarity suddenly remembered that this building was her place of business and greeted him.

"Just take a seat, darling~ I'll be with you as soon as I can!" she said cheerily at the new customer. The stallion put on a small smile and looked up at Rarity, who was working right next to my body.

"Of course, Miss Rar..." he voice cut off when he saw me. His eyes grew wide and his pupils got cold...something about shriveled nuts. I don't know, I couldn't focus on jokes with the weird stallion staring at me like a piece of meat. Oh, please don't tell me he wanted my body for some personal human fetish or something.

Yep, there's the drool.

And...the hell? His horn was leaking. A bunch of weird currency symbols were spouting from his forehead like a geyser. Okay, that's now the weirdest shit I've seen since I got here. And I saw boobs sprout from my chest.

Was that what a bit looked like? Weird. Now the stallion was moving closer, his eyes shining and locked on me.

Please go away. Shoo. Bad male horsie.

"Exemplar," was all he said through his drooling lips.

...

I NEED AN ADULT!


	8. S1E8: Mine

The morning sun poured in through each of the many castle windows, basking the throne room in its warmth. Adorning each window was a series of stained glass figures, each one depicting a part of Equestria's history. The gleam from the light reflected off of the white marble floor, threatening to blind any who dared look at it for too long. A long red carpet trailed its way along the hallway, leading to a glorious throne of gold. On said throne sat a large alicorn of the purest white. She sat diligently on her perch, taking in every word of the finely dressed unicorn stallion that was speaking to her. A warm smile and an occasional nod was all she offered as the noblepony rattled off his complaint for the day. None of the complaints she got were ever new in the slightest.

"-and tho, your Highneth, I would thormally requesth that you decree a chanthe in the temperathure that Donut Joe ith allowed to thserve hith coffee ath," stated the unicorn, sporting a burned tongue and a mean lisp. The Princess blinked for a moment. Okay, never mind. This complaint was a first. For some odd reason, the noble chose to stick his tongue out at her, perhaps to oversell the amount of _'thuffering'_ he had been put through. The white alicorn wished to giggle at this, but she knew it would have been incredibly rude to the poor pony. Not any more rude than he was being for sticking his tongue out at her, but she highly doubted he realized what he was inadvertently doing.

The day so far had been quite similar, with ponies coming to complain to her about problems that they could have easily solved themselves without _any_ assistance, much less that of the Princess. One pegasus came to complain that it was too hot outside, even though she happened to be the one who set the temperature at the local weather factory. Another pony, a unicorn mare, had wanted Celestia to change the meeting time for the weekly Canterlot Book Club so that she could go. An earth pony colt in an adorable little suit had somehow managed to get past her guards and came to ask her to turn the sun down. His reason? His ice-cream had melted too fast for him to eat. While cute, he still ate up time that could have been better spent waiting for an actual problem to arise. The Princess had one of her guards escort him out to go find his parents. Truly, this day was shaping up to be another monotonous one. What could possibly go wrong?

"Sister, we need to speak."

Princess Celestia turned her head slowly, her mane flowing in a similar manner to that of her younger sister, who was standing directly next to her throne. The Princess of the Sun hadn't even noticed her approach, or even enter the room at all. Despite her slight surprise, Celestia held the same calm expression she wore most of the day. The memory of her order flashed through the older sister's mind, bringing her some anticipated joy.

"Hello, Luna! Did you enjoy my order?" she asked with a warm smile on her face. The dark blue alicorn tilted her head to the side, completely lost. Celestia was too busy reveling in her sister's presence to notice her confusion. She had finally left her room! Her decree must have worked. All it took was to bring a fictional character back to life!

"Your...order? Sister, I am unsure of what order you are speaking of," said Luna. The white alicorn opened her eyes a bit wider to match her sister's confused stare.

"The order? To bring your favorite character back to life?" This caught Princess Luna's attention and provoked an immediate outburst.

"You ordered Twilight Sparkle to bring him here?!" she demanded, not noticing how loud she had become. The pony that had been previously complaining about coffee had gotten frightened and launched himself out of a nearby window, into the pond below. Celestia blinked at the scene for a moment before turning her attention back to her younger sibling.

"Twilight did...what?" asked Celestia, her confusion only growing. What was Lulu so upset about? What did Twilight have to do with any of this? Wait...she said Twilight had done something! The Solar Princess's pupils shrank at the implications of what her sister was saying. With the amount of disasters that had occurred in the years prior, nearly _anything_ could have happened. "What happened, sister?!" Luna realized that she must have been mistaken about what Celestia had been talking about. And she had just spilled the beans...all of the beans. Like, every single bean that had ever existed had just been spilled. Even the ones that had been used as food.

"Oh, buck. Uhm, sister, something has indeed happened...but before you make any rash decisions to correct the problem, I must tell you what I need to tell you," Luna said. It was better to introduce the problem as something she had already been working on. Her sister's large violet eyes were starting to twitch. That was not a good sign...

"Please...inform us of what has happened, dear sister," said Celestia. Her voice was a bit darker and less warm than it usually was. It was almost...panicked. Luna couldn't blame her sister. Twilight Sparkle had some very... _interesting_ blunders to her name.

"I am about to, Tia. But first, please promise that you will listen to all that I have to say." Luna gave her a stern gaze, letting her older sister know that this condition was non-negotiable. The Princess of the Sun looked at Luna for a few moments before sighing and nodding her head. Princess Luna took a deep breath before beginning her recounting of the events that had taken place in the last couple of days.

~~~~

Miles from Canterlot, a unicorn mare had been busy working her magic with a paintbrush. She gracefully moved the tip of the brush in gentle strokes, being extra careful not to hit the green grass next to the blue lake of the canvas she was using. The picture she was painting depicted the shot of nature that she sat in front of.

It was the most amazing piece of landscape she had ever _seen_! _Not_ painting it would have pretty much been a crime against Equestria. The view was just so gorgeous...she could see a beautiful lake, sprawling hills of the greenest grass she had ever seen, and to top it all off, Canterlot in the background. The city sat proudly on the side of its mountain, daring any enemies to try to scale it.

She had been there since sunrise, trying to capture the scene in its earliest vision. Hour after hour, she sat there before her canvas. It had to be perfect. Not a single color could be out of place. She just had to add the finishing strokes on the lake and-

"TWILIGHT DID WHAT?!"

The sudden intrustion in her eardrums made the poor mare yelp and twitch. Her brush flew off to the side, out of her vision. She fell back and tried to hide from the sound for a few seconds before she noticed that nothing was trying to eat her innards. With a sigh, she sat up to regain her posture and continue her work-

-just to lay eyes on the thick blue paint trail, starting from the bottom right of the painting and reaching up to the far left. The painting was ruined. There was no covering up a line like that. For minutes, she said nothing. Her eyes just twitched on their own, her mouth open in silent shock. Then she lost it.

"BUCK. MY. LIFE!"

~~~~

Back in Canterlot, Princess Luna was struggling to regain her sense of hearing. She had forgotten the last time her sister had used the Royal Canterlot voice on her, but she was immensely humbled by it. By the Moon, she thought _her_ voice was loud.

Princess Celestia was among those surprised by the sudden shout. She covered her muzzle with her hoof, thoroughly embarrassed with herself. Sure, Luna just told her something she was not ever expecting to hear, but that shout...everypony within a few dozen miles was probably startled by it! The Solar Princess's face bore a very dark blush to go along with the shame she was feeling at that moment.

At the far corner of the room sat a pile of fancily dressed ponies, all groaning and holding their ringing ears. They had been in line, waiting to see the princess when the vocal explosion had occurred. Princess Luna's shout had scared them, but only one pony had actually been sent flying. The window-diving stallion had also done so under his own power. He hadn't been flung from the force, but had merely been scared off. Princess Celestia's voice, however, actually sent the crowd flying through the air, to the wall farthest from the throne. Many ponies that had been buried were now trying to free themselves from the unwilling cuddle pile. Even the Royal Guards, who had been stationed at multiple points around the room, had been given an air ride. Oddly enough, their postures didn't change; they were still completely motionless, almost as if they were standing. The closest representation of their appearance would be if somepony took a statue of a guard and simply tipped it onto its side. The Royal Guards were truly disciplined.

"It has been many moons since I last heard you use the royal Canterlot voice, dear sister. It still holds the same intensity as it did over one thousand years ago. Have you been practicing?" inquired Princess Luna once she could hear herself once more. She had spent the last few minutes going ' _mawp_ ' to herself, trying to get the sweet sensation of sound to reach her once more. Celestia shook her head slowly, her still blushing face stuck with a shocked expression.

"N-no...that was...I apologize for that," she stated, once more regaining herself. The princess cleared her throat once before taking a look around at the damage. The nobleponies were mostly all upright, as were the guards. The guards, however, hadn't moved from where they had landed. So, there ended up being just a bunch of stoic ponies littered about the room, facing whatever direction they ended up looking in.

It was a scene of disheveled madness, one of which a certain chaotic entity would have loved to see. Fortunately enough, he was nowhere to be found. Must have been busy doing something. Princess Celestia winced at the sight of her shaking ponies. After a few moments, she remember just _why_ she had risen her voice in the first place and turned to her younger sister.

"Just once more, sister...what did Twilight do?" she asked, not quite sure she wanted to hear the answer a second time. Princess Luna sighed and took another deep breath. Hopefully, this second telling of recent events would not provoke Celestia into trying to murder the eardrums of every being in Equestria...again.

"Like I said the first time, Twilight Sparkle somehow managed to create a living, breathing representation of Ryan Burbank, the character you were probably speaking of before," she said. Her voice was calm, but inside, the blue alicorn was nervous. She desperately hoped that her older sister would keep her promise to not do anything until she learned all of the details. Celestia's face managed to turn even _whiter_ at her younger sister's words.

"But...he's fictional, is he not? How would she be able to do something so...impossible?" Princess Celestia was very close to shaking, the implications of this new problem running through her mind. To be able to create a character out of nothing but magic...what would happen if the enemies of Equestria were to hear of this? All they would need to create the most terrifying and dangerous creature they could imagine would be thoughts and magic! Luna broke her from her pondering.

"From what I could understand from when I spoke to her, she is a very avid fan of _OtherWorld_ as well. When she witnessed the death of Ryan Burbank...she unleashed an Emotional Magic Pulse, sister. Twilight Sparkle was already vastly powerful, but for an _alicorn_ to have an EMP...she somehow ripped the memories from the storyteller and stuffed them into a magical construct," explained Luna. Princess Celestia's face had been lowering the entire time her younger sister had been speaking.

"So...it's a magical construct? But...that episode was days ago! How is it still in existence? It should have faded by now!" Celestia tried to assure herself of this more than her sister. Luna just shook her head, her mane billowing around in the same sparkling glory it always had.

"That's why I mentioned the memories being pulled from the storyteller...sister, this magical construct is sentient. It has a self-preserving instinct that is keeping the spell together. And with the kind of magical power that comes from an EMP, from Twilight no less..." she halted, waiting to see if her older sister would figure out the point on her own. Princess Celestia's eyes grew even wider.

"It's...volatile..." she whispered. Luna sighed again and nodded slowly. In a flurry of motion, Princess Celestia's large white wings spread and she made to take off. The younger sister had been expecting a similar reaction and formed a blue barrier around her sister's midsection, holding her back. Celestia squirmed, trying to break free from the magical grip.

"Luna, let go! I need to protect my little ponies!" she shouted. Princess Luna held strong, pulling Celestia back towards her. After a few more feet of tugging, Celestia whipped her head around and their gazes met. The blue alicorn had a very stern expression of an emotion very close to disappointment.

"Tia, you promised you would listen. The situation is being worked on by both Twilight and myself. The construct is sentient, but the mind inside the body is very docile, I assure you," she tried to reason to her older sister. Celestia just shook her head and tried to take off once more. Luna's grip was starting to falter.

"How can you be sure? It's-"

"He. Ryan is a male," Luna said softly, interrupting the rant that Celestia had almost began. The Solar Princess looked into Luna's eyes once more, but this time with a hint of understanding.

"Luna, I know you like this character, but he is just that: a character. You don't know him personally," she said gently. She really wasn't looking forward to having to dispose of a being that her younger sister felt so strongly for. Luna's nervous shuffling caught her attention. Her large teal eyes were now darting to the sides of the room, refusing to meet Celestia's stare. What was up with her? "Luna, what's wrong?"

"Well...I actually do...know him...personally..." she chuckled shyly. Having him as a romantic partner for two years was personal enough, was it not? Celestia was reduced to a head-tilt once more. The nobleponies were standing around in a large mass, watching the two sisters as they conversed. It wasn't any of their business, but being shouted into a wall was also not their business. None of them really considered this situation very formal anymore.

"Sister, what do you mean? How could you know him personally?" she asked. Luna didn't answer right away. Instead, she used her magic to poof a large blue gem into existence. This gem was much smaller than any _GemShow_ projection gem, but it still held the same trademarks that those possessed. On its side read ' _OtherWorld: Seasons 4-6_ '. The nobleponies at the door all gasped and took off running. Both sisters blinked and turned their attention to where the crowd of ponies once stood. The room was now vacant except for the sisters and their misplaced guards. The regal siblings slowly turned back to each other and shrugged. Ponies were just sometimes like that.

" _Aaanyway_ , I need to show you exactly who is inside this new construct that young Twilight has created. I want you to see that he deserves the time it will take to help him find a more permanent solution for his continued existence," Luna told her sister. Celestia shook her head, not wanting to upset her little sister. Celestia knew how devoted Luna could get to a cause once she found it worth fighting for.

"Lulu, please...watching him all the time on your gem projector does not mean you know him as a friend," she said, trying to keep any kind of condescending tone out of her voice. Luna shuffled once again, trying not to look directly into her sister's eyes. Celestia now knew she was hiding something.

"Please, sister, just watch this with me. It will answer your questions, I promise," Luna pleaded. Celestia sighed and looked out of the castle window, towards Ponyville. She didn't want to doubt both her sister and her student...she just hoped that nothing went wrong while they were discussing this new issue. A brief image of a smoldering crater replacing the rural town in the distance flashed before her eyes, forcing her to look away. She would trust her sister...but she was going to be very cautious with the impending problem.

"Okay, Luna, I-"

Celestia was once again cut off, this time by a storm of hooves moving back into the room. Both sisters turned around and blinked in surprise at the crowd of returning nobleponies. Now, however, their fancy suits and dresses had been replaced with what looked to be lounge clothes. One younger stallion even wore a night cap. A few ponies in the crowd wore saddlebags filled to the brim with popcorn and snacks. They began handing out the snacks to the rest of the ponies in a surprisingly calm and organized fashion. The sisters gaped at the scene, but for more than one reason. They were just unsure about why they had left, changed clothes and returned. But they were truly amazed by how civil these ponies had become. Normally, they just tolerated each other's existence while waiting in line. None of them truly wanted to be around strange ponies; they just wanted to have their time with royalty and leave. But now...they were all acting as old friends. It was almost...heartwarming to witness. Why had they started acting like that so suddenly? It was then that both Luna and Celestia noticed the ponies all staring expectantly at the _OtherWorld_ gem. No...it couldn't be.

"You...want to watch, too?" Luna asked hesitantly. The ponies all smiled wide and nodded their heads, the snack wrappers crinkling noisily with their movement. This was a weird development, even to the ancient sisters. Celestia was especially confused. What was this show? It had quickly spread throughout her nation, bringing ponies together. Over the years, she noticed more and more of her friends and advisers getting sucked into it. She originally thought that its true power of unity had just been hyperbole, but now...she had witnessed a crowd of irate nobles change into a group of old buddies right before her eyes. They had only been gone for a few moments! How did they get dressed so quickly? Where had they been hiding the snacks? All of these questions were beginning to give the Princess of the Sun a headache. She turned to her sister and gave an exasperated shrug.

"I see no fault with it. Guards, would you kindly set this gem up for us to watch?" Celestia asked. The guards, who were all now wearing soda-drink hats instead of helmets, followed her request without any hesitation. The sisters blinked once more, this time at the guards. Where had they gotten those? Had the nobles somehow given them the hats? They hadn't even moved...too many questions. And Luna was the one who was supposed to have the secrets!

The ponies in the doorway all cheered and rushed forward, creating a large semi-circle around the spot where the guards had connected the recording gem to Luna's 'SuperShow' gem. The Princess of the Moon had done the honor of pasting little crescent moon stickers all over the poor projector. Everypony in the room noticed this and gave her an amused giggle. Luna blushed and pouted, stomping her hoof once to dispell the looks she had been given. The nobles caught on immediately and turned their attention back to the gem. With a crackle and a flash, the projection hummed to life.

_"Welcome to OtherWorld. Which episode would you like to view?"_

****

"Please get off of me," was all I could think to say to this strange new pony. He had sat there, drooling on my pants for at least a good minute before any of my friends could actually comprehend what was happening. Dash was the first to react.

"Hey, back off!" she shouted, flying forward and getting into the face of the odd stallion. He blinked awake and stared at Rainbow Dash for a moment before snarling at her. The prismatic pony was slightly surprised by his sudden aggression, but held her ground. What the actual fuck is even going on right now? Should I be prepping for a fight, calling the authorities or protecting my ass? Or all of the above? Through my shocked silence, I became aware of the rest of my new friends gathering around me. It was nice to know they would stand and guard me if need be...but still, what the hell is this guy's problem?

Rainbow Dash and Applejack took action by wrapping their legs around the chest of the stallion and yanking him from my lap. He gave a surprised yelp and tumbled backwards onto his rump. With the removal of the troublesome suited unicorn that had been straddling me, the mares all surrounded me in a protective circle. Fluttershy was standing towards the back, but she had an oddly determined expression on her adorable yellow face. Twilight stood directly in front of me, wings splayed out in a show of dominance. Aww! Once the stallion got back to his hooves, he gave another growl and started charging his horn.

"I am confiscating this object! I own the rights to _OtherWorld_ , and I distinctly remember _not_ giving anypony the rights to produce merchandise such as this! You six are breaking copyright _law_!" he shouted, lowering his head. Was this moron for real? He was charging his horn at a princess! And threatening her about laws! _Holy shit_ , was this getting stupid fast.

"Ryan is not an object! He is as alive as all of us!" shouted Princess Stand-Your-Ground. The stallion snorted in aggressive laughter and took a step forward. The ponies around me tensed up, ready to fight at a moment's notice. I turned my head at an odd ' _click_ ' next to me. Oh my god, where the fuck did Pinkie get that cannon thing?! And it was loaded!

"Ridiculous! Now, if you have complaints, take it up with my lawyers! But I am _not_ leaving without _that_!" he yelled once more, pointing his hoof at me. Rude. The girls looked at each other, still apparently not sure where all of this had come from. Rarity gasped in sudden realization, her eyes growing wide as she pointed her hoof back at the stallion. Rude?

"Time Warner! I am surprised at you! You seemed like such a gentlecolt!" she accused. This actually made the weird pony flinch and take a step back, as if she had just slapped him with her words. He had a look of...almost shame. Maybe Rarity meant something to him at one point? No, they couldn't have been an item; Rarity was much too refined for Spasm McDrools-on-Pants. This dude was clearly off his rocker. He proved my point by trying to dash forward to grab me again, but was intercepted by Twilight's magic. She roughly threw him back against the wall, keeping him secured there.

"Fluttershy!" Twilight called out, getting the attention of the yellow pegasus. "Go get the guards!" Fluttershy nodded in understanding and took flight, soaring out of the door as fast as her little wings could carry her. With that taken care of, we all turned our attention back to the stallion. He was currently going through a shit-your-pants freak out at the concept of being restrained. His eyes widely darted around the room until they settled on the alicorn who was holding him. Then his horn lit up in her direction.

This fucker did not just-

He did.

Buddy, you done _fucked up_. _Nobody_ threatens my friends!

I shot to my feet and ran in front of the purple princess just in time for my vision to go white. My whole body felt like it just went into an electrical socket. My hair shot up straight, my teeth chattered, the whole shebang. I suddenly felt everything and nothing at the same time. My ears were ringing with a sound I remember from when...I died. Was I dying again? No, I can't! Not with my friends all here with me, they would be hurt from my body going off! With all my might, I forced my body to stabilize. Only then did I notice that I had fallen face-first onto the floor. Through the ringing, I could hear my friends crying out.

"Ryan!"

It was far away, but at least I could hear it. I struggled some more, forcing my hearing to even out.

_"Ryan!"_

Okay, that was pretty good. Just need to focus on moving my body...there it goes. One leg after another, come on. _Let me see your war face!_ Groan. Okay, maybe later, body. Don't feel too bad, you _did_ just get electrocuted to almost-death and all. Now I could hear a few gasps as I stood to my full height. I looked down at the...why was the stallion not being restrained? He was just sitting on the floor, gaping up at me. Why was he staring at me like that? I mean, yeah, he was staring at me before, but this was different. The earlier stare was one of greed and ownership. This one was...shock and awe? Something like that. I looked around and saw the same expression on every other face in the room.

"What?" came out of my mouth. That's what I meant to say, but not in the voice that came out. It made me freeze in place and replay the sound in my head a few times over. What the hell was that? It was like my voice, but another voice was in there, too. Two voices had came from my throat at the same time...creepy as shit. Oh, well, time to give this fucker a verbal bitchslap. I stepped forward and leaned down, wrapping my hands under his legs and picking him up in a manner very similar to how I would pick up a cat. The stallion just stared at me with pin-prick eyes, his mouth still hanging down. Good, he won't interrupt me, then.

"Ryan! Don't!" shouted Twilight from behind me. I turned my head in confusion and stared at the alicorn. What did she think I was going to do, eat him?

"Don't worry, Twi, just going to scold this pussnugget," I told her. She stared at me for a few moments, her whole body shaking. Wait...was she...MOTHERFUCKER MADE HER CRY! Oh, look! Not just her! The others were shaking in fucking shocked fear. They must have thought I had just gotten my ass fried. This nugget just signed his death warrant. I turned to look at him slowly, a murderous glint in my eyes. The stallion, Time Warner as Rarity had said, was shivering now. Oh, this was going to be _delicious_.

"Hey, Time," I spoke up, catching his attention. His shivering only got worse. "Ever hear the story about the asparagus plants?"

Well, that did it. Time Warner froze for a moment, looking at me with a slack-jaw. After a few moments of silence, he turned back on and proceeded to freak the fuck out. He squirmed with all of his might, trying his damn hardest to escape my grip. With the magic coursing through me, he stood no chance. I barely even felt him fighting.

"NO! LET ME GO! **HELP!** " he sobbed, tears of fear running down his bright blue face. Behind me, I could hear some shuffling. I guess the girls were diving for cover, looking for anything to cover their ears with. I didn't blame them. I smiled and looked down at the shivering stallion. _Now_ he was in for it.

Just as I was about to begin my tale, however, I suddenly felt very...full. Inside I could feel my stomach area bloating. When I looked down, I noticed my hands glowing once again. That wasn't the only thing that terrified the fuck out of me though.

_They were glowing two different colors._

My left hand was giving off Twilight's familiar violet aura, as it had before. But my right hand, _on the other hand_ , was shooting out a bright blue color very similar to the color that the stallion's horn had became when he was charging his spell. And come to think of it...it was the same color that blinded me when I stood in front of Twilight. But that meant...

Oh.

Oh _fuck_. That was Time Warner's magic. What the hell was it doing inside of me?! Did...did I fucking absorb that shit? Ew, goddamn gross! Get it out of me, get it out of me, get it- what's that? I was getting a very...odd...feeling. Something was coming up my body through my chest. I was only vaguely aware of the room around me. I think my eyes had probably been glazed over for at least a few good moments. Maybe a minute? Time Warner was staring at me now, unsure of exactly what was happening. He had stopped shivering and his face was no longer producing moisture. It was at this time that he made the super amazing awesome decision of trying to hit me again with his magic.

" **Let go of me, bucker!** " he shouted as his horn shocker thing hit me once more. This time, it didn't knock me down or fry me to the point of almost dying. No, what it did do was to force that lump in my chest up higher. Holy crap, it's going to come out!

Higher! Oh god, it hurts! What the hell is going on?!

Dude, stop with the magic! It's just making things worse! I'm serious! I'm going to-

-going to...oh, jeez, here it comes...uh-

"BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!~"

_*Crash*_

...

That was _epic!_ Did that super belch just happen? I must have set a record or something! I wonder if the girls saw that! I turned around to look at them, only to see them rushing behind where I had been standing. Where were they going? I followed behind them, through a newly opened hole in the wall. Shit, did Time do this? That guy better pay for this! Rarity didn't deserve for her Boutique to become Swiss cheese.

Okay, they were crowding around something. Why were they acting so frantic? What was...

...you know what, I'm getting pretty sick of this out-of-body experience shit. They were all crowding around me, which finally tipped me off to what was going on. Apparently that burp had somehow launched my mind clear from my body. My poor body had been sent flying back through the wall of Rarity's shop. Damn, sorry Rarity...I'll help fix that, I promise...

Twilight's horn lit up and for the second time this morning, I felt my consciousness being tugged towards my body. I didn't hear Mom this time, so I could focus on following her guidance back into myself. Now that I was paying attention to it, entering your own body feels fucking weird. It's like that weird sensation you sometimes get when a vacuum is on and something in the room matches its pitch. That weird double ring sound, if that makes any sense at all. Probably not, but whatever. Back to my own body time.

"Ryan!" was the first thing I heard as I woke up as my own self. It wasn't just one voice, however. This shout had come from all directions surrounding me. Just as I was processing what I was hearing, my body was assaulted by five fluffy bodies, all clinging to me. Aww, yes! I love the feeling of cuddles in the morning. I wrapped my sore arms around the mares who had been snuggling into me. Man, this world's physical affection was unfair. I could barely remember what had been bothering any of us when they were so warm against me...

"Oh, thank Celestia...what _was_ that?" questioned Twilight. She had been holding onto my head, cradling it lovingly. I smiled up at her and did my best to shrug. It wasn't the easiest to move my shoulders when I had ponies piled onto me at all angles. I was just glad they were no longer crying or looking scared.

"I don't-" I stopped when I noticed that my voice had returned to its normal self. That was weird...I also didn't feel that odd feeling of being full anymore. Was that burp...was that Time's magic shooting out of me?

Wait a minute, Time! Where did he go? He has some guards to answer to!

At that very instant, Fluttershy flew back into the boutique with guards trailing her. The sight of the wrecked wall made the shy yellow pegasus squeak. She started looking around frantically before her large teal eyes settled on our pile. Her wings moved her towards us faster than I had ever seen her go. Uh oh, Dash. Looks like you might have some competition~

"What happened? Is Ryan okay?" Fluttershy asked, her eyes darting all over my body. Again, I was sore, but I don't think she could do anything to help me. Even with that cute little medical kit she sometimes had. Where did she even keep that thing? Pinkie Pie chose to disengage her face from my stomach to look up at Flutters.

"Oh, it was so _weird_! That meanie pony tried to attack Twilight, so Ryan rushed in front of her and took the magic hit! Then, it went into him or something and he started glowing blue and purple and he had this weird double voice! It was kind of scary, but it was okay because I knew it was Ryan and he wasn't scary! Then, Ryan picked up the meanie and started to tell him the asparagus story but before he could, the pony hit him again with magic and made Ryan do a super burp and he sent the pony flying through the wall! Ryan almost blew up again, but Twilight was here to bring him back, so it's okay! We don't know where the other pony went because he just kept flying once he went through the wall!" Pinkie explained in her own way. We were all staring at her in perplexed confusion. Sure, we had been there for it, but I still can't believe that shit even happened. What the hell is going on with me anymore? Just _burping_ could cause me to go off? _Christ!_

And...wait, I did what now?

I put some effort to moving my head up, my gaze settling on the inside of the boutique. Oh, man. The whole room was filled with a blue smoke, similar to the discharge I gave off during the sneeze in the castle. That must have been what Time Warner's magical residue looked like. Still gross. Time Warner...Pinkie said that I had sent him...flying?

I looked farther into the room, at the wall I had been facing during my confrontation with Time. There, on the wall right in front of where I had let loose my magical belch, was a very new, oddly Time Warner-shaped hole in the wall.

Heh.

Hahaha.

Pfft.

"BWAHAHAHAAAAA!" I laughed, my body flailing around. Oh my god, that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen! It was just like one of those cartoon wall-holes! It even had the shape of his hair in the wall and everything. That's the goddamn best thing ever. Big-shot stallion comes waltzing into Rarity's home, tries to claim ownership over me, threatens my friends, and my response was burping him into orbit! I really wish I had a camera to witness that shit. That would have gone viral in, like, two minutes.

Fluttershy had spent the last several seconds letting everything that Pinkie had told her sink in. Apparently, my laughing brought her attention back to me. She gave me a look of concern before joining the pile. _Ahh_ , this is the best. Just me and seven other ponies in a big ol' pile of snuggles and warmth...wait, seven? I looked down to see one of the guards in the pile with us, holding onto my leg. Okay, that's pretty darn cute, but come on, man. Do your damn job. You got a murderous blue projectile to find! Twilight seemed to think the same thing.

"Guards! We were just attacked by a bright blue unicorn stallion with a torn suit! His name was...um..." Twilight started.

"Time Warner," chimed Rarity. Twilight nodded in thanks and turned back to the guards.

"Yeah, that. Time Warner assaulted me and my friends and almost killed Ryan!" she shouted. The guards all looked down at me, some with expressions of shocked joy. I think I recognized the ones who weren't as surprised. The others must have skipped the party. I wonder if the one semi-humping my leg was one of the skippers. Well, that or just a very affectionate fan.

The guards looked at me for a moment longer before nodding at their Princess and scrambling through the boutique. After a quick look at the shape of the hole in the wall, they charged off in the direction that my magic residue led. Man, I couldn't even see the end of that thing. Time might have been actually sent into orbit. I...I hope I didn't kill the guy. I was mad, but I didn't want to kill a pony with my gas. That was a horrible way to go. Burped to death...heh heh.

I tried standing up, but the ponies on top of me refused to let go. Rainbow Dash flapped her wings a few times, stabilizing herself on my shoulder. Applejack had spread herself out along my legs, trying to kick the guard off...wait, why was he still here?

"Dude, go find Time," I told him sternly. In return, the guard held on tighter and looked up at me with a pout and a trembling lip. Nice try, but you're no Rarity in terms of pouting power. Pouwter? Nah, that's stupid. I narrowed my eyes at him, rejecting his attempt to remain clinging to my poor leg. He saw I wasn't budging and sighed, standing up. It took him a moment to figure out where his buddies had run off to. Now I finally had a free leg-

Goddamnit, Applejack. Now she had squirmed her way onto both of my legs. Come oooon!

"Uh, gals? Going to need to move sometime soon," I pleaded, looking down at the mares. They all snuggled in tighter, almost making it hard to breathe. Applejack lifted a hoof to her mouth in contemplation.

"Hmm...nah," she stated. With that, she settled back down and once again became part of my fluffy pony prison.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

I just hope they find that Time guy. He needs to be committed or something. Dude's a ticking time bomb with an attitude like that. I would know...

****

"Thanks, Lyra...thanks, Bon-Bon..." whispered Prime. The two mares had set him on the floor with a nice fluffy cushion to lay down on. Bon-Bon moved the blanket they had been using and put it around him. He had been shivering again, but it was not nearly as bad as when he had first fallen. In front of his muzzle sat a cup of hot tea, the steam drifting up and bathing the stallion's face with its soothing warmth. For awhile, he was content to just sit there and smell the cup, his eyes locked straight forward. Bon-Bon had seen ponies like this before. She knew that he was busy trying to sort out his own thoughts before he could share them out loud.

Lyra moved closer and pressed herself against him once more. He gave her a weak smile before lifting the cup up to his lips with his magic. After blowing on the steaming liquid, he took a small sip. His face brightened noticeably once the tea hit his taste buds. The small sip was followed by a larger one. Prime reveled in the feeling of the tea traveling down his throat, warming his body as it went.

"This is probably the best tea I've ever tasted!" he said happily. The two mares smiled at him. "What kind is it?" Bon-Bon was the one to answer this question.

"Oh, it's nothing special. Just a sweet tea I cooked up using some of the sweets from my shop." She tried to undersell it, but she couldn't keep the pride out of her voice. This tea was one of her new experiments, with Prime being the first outsider to try it. If a pony that had traveled all around Equestria said that her tea was the best, it must be _really_ darn good. Prime nodded at her.

"Yes, I remember now. You owned a candy store. I remember buying a bag full of sweets last time I was here," he said, smiling at the pleasant memories. "They were all delicious, by the way. I even saved some to give out to some of the foals I saw during my travels." Bon-Bon blushed at this. This stallion, co-owner of bucking OW, was parading around Equestria, making young ones happy with _her_ candy. No wonder she had started getting candy orders from far-away cities...

"That's right...thank you, by the way. Since you left with that bag, I've been getting so much more business. I just didn't figure out that it was _you_ who was behind it!" she gushed slightly. Lyra giggled at how flustered her roommate was becoming. Prime Warner just smiled and flicked his hoof at her.

"Aw, it was no problem. _You're_ the pony behind the candy, I just spread your influence a bit," he said. The two mares were beginning to understand just how good at his job Prime was. Even when he had been busy looking for ideas and spreading his own company's name, he found time to bring business to a candy maker in a small rural town hundreds of miles away. Just how many connections did this pony have? He must have had friends all over Equestria!

Lyra noticed that Prime's mood had once again soured. He had started staring into his tea, his eyes locked in place. He was no longer crying or shaking, but he was very distracted. Bon-Bon placed a hoof on his back in an attempt to comfort him. He flinched at the sudden contact before he could remember exactly where he was.

"S-sorry..." he said softly. The mares looked at each other, both unsure about exactly what to do. Bon-Bon had an idea, but it would require a lot of careful talking and not bringing up-

"Do you want to talk about Time?" Lyra blurted out. The room went silent. Bon-Bon stared at the mint unicorn, a look of horror frozen on her face. Leave it to Lyra to just rush in without a plan or any tact whatsoever. The cream mare was about to scold her friend when, to the surprise of both roommates, Prime nodded.

"Okay..." he said under his breath. That was...too quick. Had he been wanting to talk to somepony about it? For how long? Lyra and Bon-Bon shared a look before they both snuggled up against him. His head perked up a bit and his nodded once more, taking a deep breath.

"He wasn't...always like this," Prime started. Both mares nodded and motioned for him to continue. "He...he was the best big brother I could have asked for. Even when our mother...she..." He had to take a break to gather himself again. Lyra and Bon-Bon showed him the greatest of patience. "Our mother was sick through a good chunk of my childhood. But she always told us stories. Stories about her life, our father's life, stories she had heard from other ponies, a little bit of everything. We loved when she told us stories...it allowed us...well, to escape from the constant feeling that we were going to lose her soon. We had very few bits to our name...and mother knew that when she was gone, we would have nopony to look to. I think that was the hardest thing for her..."

"What about your dad?" Lyra piped up. Bon-Bon wanted to scold her again, but Prime was fine with answering.

"Dad left when Time and I were both foals. Not sure where he went, but we never really cared. For what he put mother through...well, it doesn't matter, now. He wasn't there to help us and that's what matters," he spat. Both mares were actually surprised with his new tone. So far, they had never seen Prime actually angry. He had gotten aggressive towards Time before, but that was in their defense and for no other reason. Now, he was seething against a pony he didn't even remember. Lyra wanted to deflect this new Prime.

"Prime...what was your mother's name?" she asked softly. Bon-Bon was actually surprised at this question. It had been sudden, but this time...it was heartfelt. Something to remind Prime about the good memories and not thoughts that brought about the harshness in him. The stallion smiled back at her.

"Olivia. Olivia Warner. Others called her Olive, mostly because that's what her special talent was. She grew olive trees and made oil from them. We always helped her, but...we still didn't make many bits from it. It just wasn't enough..." he told the two mares. They looked at each other in sudden realization.

"So _that's_ where you got the name for your company," Lyra said. Prime smiled proudly and nodded his head. His disheveled mane swished with the motion, further tangling it. He was going to need a serious bath after this was over.

"Yep! She inspired me with her stories. Eventually...I learned to tell my own stories, and loved it. When Time and I eventually formed our storytelling company, we decided to name it after our mother. It just...it just felt right," he explained. His head started to droop once more. "She...she stayed with us until she died...I was eight and Time was twelve. We didn't have anypony to look up to...so we had to fend for ourselves. Those darned bit collectors harassed us to no end. I was too young then to understand what was happening, but Time...he took care of it. He learned to deal with them, learned to fight back. I don't know where he kept getting the bits he was finding...but it kept us with a roof over our heads. That was when...I lost my brother..."

"What do you mean?" It was Bon-Bon who spoke up this time. "Where did he go?" Prime just smiled sadly at her.

"Oh, he didn't actually go anywhere. It was more like...he changed. From dealing with those collectors, he learned...how to get what he wanted. After a few years, I didn't see any more of them around. I tried asking Time what he did to get them to stop, but the only thing he ever said was _'I took care of it.'_ Well, I eventually learned that he had put them all in the hospital. Crippled one of them, even. I never understood why they didn't try to get him in trouble with the law...I just assumed they were too afraid of him to dare. It seems to be that way with everypony we work with. He scares them and they do what he wants. That's why...why when I stood up to him today...I think he was seriously considering attacking me. If I wasn't his brother...I'd probably be dead or crippled right now..." Prime finished, his legs tucked underneath him.

"It sounds like you hate working with him..." said Lyra sadly. "Why don't you just...I don't know, leave and make your own company?" Prime looked down, in deep thought.

"I want to...but...I'm afraid of what will happen if Time doesn't have somepony there to try and talk some sense into him. What if I hadn't been here today?" he asked. The two mares shivered at the thought of a very violent stallion attacking them over something so petty. If he had hospitalized ponies as a young one...would he go as far as to kill?

"Listen...Lyra, Bon-Bon...I'm really sorry for the way my brother behaved today...I didn't want this to get so out of hoof. And I'm sorry for...well, the whole situation with Ryan, too..." He had mumbled the last part. Lyra looked at him with a confused head-tilt.

"Why? It wasn't your fault...Dream Catcher said that the President was the one who wanted me to kill off Ryan. The President is Time Warner, not you. It wasn't your decision," he tried to assure him. Prime just flinched and squirmed a little back out of Lyra's grasp. The roommates were growing worried for the poor stallion. What was he talking about?

"It...It may have not been my decision...but it was my idea..." he whispered. Prime was trembling again. He was trying to curl into a tight ball, maybe to escape into himself and leave the conversation. Lyra and Bon-Bon blinked at this new information.

"W-what...?" stuttered the mint unicorn. Prime just shivered harder and tried to move farther away from her. He didn't believe he deserved comfort at the moment.

"During an argument we were having...Time was talking about how he didn't think the ratings were high enough...he wanted to do something drastic and wanted my opinion on the matter. I just kept telling him that it was fine... _OtherWorld_ was and still is the most popular show in Equestria. He wouldn't take that for an answer...threatened to make more time for it by booting other shows off of the gemline...then I...I told him...that he should just kill off the characters in _OtherWorld_...that would get his bucking ratings...I...I didn't mean for him to take it seriously...I just...I'm so sorry..." Prime was sobbing into his forelegs now. His whole body was shaking in unfiltered misery.

The mares looked between each other with wide eyes. Prime caught the look they were sharing and curled into himself tighter. They were going to hate him. They were going to throw him out of their house and would never want to speak to him again. It was all his fault, Ryan was dead and they hated him for it. They were-

-hugging him.

"Huh...?" he choked out in surprise. A mint colored body and a cream colored body were clinging tightly to his own faded blue body. He felt their warmth seep into him, their calming whispers...why were they hugging him? "H-how...why? You...you two should hate me! I'm a terrible pony..." he sobbed.

"Shhh..." cooed Bon-Bon into his ear. His whole body froze. That feeling...it was so familiar. It felt like something that he had experienced years before, back during a time he could barely remember. The soft whispers...who-?

"Mother..." he said to himself. "But...why? I killed Ryan!" The two mares just shook their heads.

"You didn't. You just said something sarcastically and your brother used it against us," Bon-Bon said soothingly. Lyra was on his other side, still hugging and listening to what was being said. She chose that moment to add to the flow of words.

"Besides, Ryan's not...uh...dead," she said, smiling shyly. Prime gave her a confused look.

"Well, we were trying to bring him back...but like you said, you can't because you don't remember him. Something about somepony stealing your memories?" he inquired. Lyra nodded nervously in response. Bon-Bon just kept holding onto the trembling stallion, knowing exactly where Lyra was taking this conversation.

"Yeah, well...it kinda has to do with that...see, the pony that took my memories...I don't know what they did, but somehow...they, uh...brought Ryan to life," she tried to explain. Prime Warner just stared at her, perplexed. After a few moments, he used his magic to clean his ears out.

"Um, one more time, please. You said that Ryan...is _alive_? Like, _alive alive_? In _Equestria?_ " His voice was shaking now to match his body. Lyra just nodded, her hoof tracing circles on the ground next to her. Prime sat there, frozen in shock.

After a few moments, he came back to life. The stallion leapt to his hooves before running around the room, screaming at the top of his lungs. It wasn't noticed at first, but the tip of his horn had started leaking little smiley faces. Those faces littered the floor as he tore across it in his mania. He even accidentally knocked over his cup, the lukewarm liquid inside spilling out across the floor.

" **WOOOOOOOO!~** _That is AWESOME!_ **WAAHAAAAAH!** " he shouted as he had his special moment. Lyra and Bon-Bon couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous display. It had been such a change in atmosphere from a few minutes ago. They barely even knew what emotion that should have been feeling at that point. So, they just chose to laugh. Their laughter was short-lived, as Prime skidded to a halt in front of them, panting heavily.

"Can-can I meet him?!" he practically screamed. The color drained from Lyra's face. He wanted to meet Ryan. That would mean she would have to show him where Ryan was. Ryan would see her. His murderer...the owner of his entire world, his family, and his love.

"Uhm...m-maybe...?" she responded. Prime just tilted his head, the hopeful smile still spread across his face. His brain chose that moment to give him another stray thought.

"Where is he, anyway? Canterlot?" he asked, looking at the two mares expectantly. They both got nervous looks and started shuffling from side to side.

"W-well, he's... _kinda_ right here...in Ponyville..." Bon-Bon informed him. All the color drained from Prime Warner's face at this news. The smile was wiped away in under a second. He sat his rump down, still looking into Bon-Bon's eyes. The constant mood changes were starting to get to Lyra. Why wouldn't they just stay consistent for five minutes?

"He's...in Ponyville..." he repeated to himself. Both mares nodded slowly.

"He's in Ponyville...with my brother walking around..." he finished.

Oh.

OH.

The two roommates shot up to their hooves in alert. How could they have not noticed that until now?! Time Warner, the pony who had ordered the death of Ryan, was walking around in the same town as his victim. Who knows what would happen if they saw each other? Lyra and Bon-Bon ran to the door, ready to unlock it and go out looking. Prime Warner was still sitting, his whole body stuck.

"Come on, Prime! We have to find your brother before Ryan-" Bon-Bon never got to finish her command. Her voice was interrupted by a loud ' _Crash!_ ' from the left side of the house. The ponies in the room barely caught sight of the bright blue blur that smashed through the wall.

" _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-_ " shouted the blur in a very familiar voice. In an instant, the voice was cut off as it reached the other wall and smashed through that, too. From inside, they could here the shouting blur continue off into town, leaving a smoking blue trail behind him. It took only a few moments for ponies from outside to wander over to see what the buck was going on.

"-does..." finished the cream colored mare. Nopony in the room dared say anything. They all just let what happened sink in for a minute. There was no denying that the blue blur had been a pony. There was no denying that the pony was Prime Warner's troublesome older brother. There was no denying that whatever happened to have caused Time to fly through the house, the situation just got a lot more...complex. Why the hay was he flying through houses? Why the hay had he been screaming? The blue trail he had left behind was indeed the color of his brother's aura...but Prime knew that he never left it out in the open like that.

Something had thrown his brother through town.

Something was using the same color magic as Time.

Something had happened in town to have cause a confrontation.

...

"He found Ryan," the three ponies said at the same time.


	9. S1E9: Catching Up

The scene opened upon a large store-front, surrounded by beings similar to Ryan, but very different at the same time. Some of them were as big as two or three ponies stacked on top of each other, while some were very small and adorable. All of them were mostly hairless, at least from what parts of them were unclothed. The only section that was usually covered in hair was the very top of their heads. These manes varied from creature to creature, with some being a simple blonde color and some being wildly colored. One being even had a head of hair that reminded the two princesses of a prismatic pony they knew quite well. The clothing they wore was very different. It was strange to see some beings wearing very light fabric, while others were adorned with finely tailored business clothes.

That was another thing that surprised Princess Celestia; every single creature was wearing clothes. The projection had only been on for a few moments and already she had more questions than before she started watching. What were these beings? Why did some of them have different skin colors? Why did every one of them cover most of their body with clothing? Was this some kind of social event? Why were they just walking by each other without saying hello or at least acknowledging each other's existence?

Where were the ponies?

Not a single pony was shown in the projection. Now that she thought about it, Princess Celestia noticed that she couldn't see _any_ of the races she was familiar with. It was just all...these beings. She was expecting everypony else around her to share the same confusion, but when she looked around, they were all just sitting and watching contently. Even Luna was snuggled up with a large blue cushion. A look of attentive hope was plastered on her face. Celestia sighed and returned her gaze to the projection. Whoever the pony was who was telling this story...they had one active imagination. All these strange new creatures, with such varying physique and structure from most of the other races in Equestria. No wonder Twilight had become so involved in its following. The knowledge-hungry young alicorn would probably do anything to learn more about this new culture. And apparently, she had tried her best to do anything.

"What kind of creatures are these, sister?" Princess Celestia asked. Luna glanced at her older sister before turning her head back to the projection. Even without looking at her, Luna answered.

"They are called ' _humans.'_ They are a race whose origins come from that of an early ancestor of their world's monkeys," she said quietly as to not disturb the viewing. Celestia waited for more of an explanation, but got nothing else.

The projection zoomed into the store that had been shown, moving past the bipedal beings that were busily walking one direction or another. They all seemed to have somewhere else to be. Even the smallest ones were just trying to keep up with their assumed parents. Where were they going? Were they all late to some kind of meeting? Her questions went unanswered as the scene filled with the view of the inside of a large store. Inside this new room, a few beings were busy walking around, looking at the hundreds of odd objects lining the walls and isles. Some were even sitting down and trying them on.

"So, they are buying shoes?" Celestia asked her younger sister. Luna just nodded her head without turning it away from the projection. She was strangely focused on something. What was she anticipating?

Princess Celestia noticed that out of the maybe two dozen or so humans in the store, a good five or six of them were wearing the same colored top. That must have been their assigned uniforms. The tops were a light blue color, while the pants were different among them. The two larger humans, probably the males, wore light tan garments that started at their midsection and traveled down to meet their shoes. The four assumed females, varying in age, wore bottoms ranging from black smooth pants to skirts.

Princess Celestia was broken from her observation by a thunderous cheer that erupted from the crowd of nobles in the room with her.

"RYAN!" they all cheered, some pointing their front legs at the projection, towards the larger of the two males. Even Luna had sat up and started clapping her front hooves together excitedly. Princess Celestia turned her attention towards the tall being that everypony was cheering for.

So that was Ryan.

She had expected the object of some many others' affections to have been more...well, esteemed. Ryan was tall, around two times the size of the average pony. Of course, it did help that he stood on two legs instead of four. He seemed to be taller than his other workers, even the other male. The females were all much smaller than him. One girl was smaller than the rest of the beings in the store and wore a good amount of dark makeup on her face to match her black hair. Ryan maintained a small smile as he walked around the room, stopping to help the humans without blue shirts every so often. Some of the them looked rather elderly and appeared to need help with their shoes. The tall man gladly knelt down to help those who needed it.

His hair was a darker brown color and wasn't nearly as long as the hair that adorned the heads of the females. He had a relatively larger build to him, but did not seem to be overweight. He was just muscular and large. Despite his size, he was quick and agile on his feet. Even the drawback of being bipedal didn't hinder his movement at all. Celestia noted that when one of the humans that was shopping called for him, he quickly swiveled on his feet in the opposite direction and walked to meet the customer. It was oddly fascinating to watch his footwork.

Once he was done helping the customer, he stood up quickly and went off again, this time towards a large structure in the middle of the room. A line had formed in the middle that none of the other workers seemed to notice. Ryan took it upon himself to rush over to help those in line.

 _"Did you find everything alright, today?"_ he asked in a soothing voice. It was deep, but not dark. He seemed to be trying to be as friendly and calm as he could possibly seem. The customer he was engaging with smiled back at him and gave a positive nod. Ryan proceeded to go through the box that the shoes were in, checking them for...something. Maybe to make sure they were a match? Celestia wasn't all that familiar with pre-produced clothing. Normally, she was fitted for the clothes she wore. Each outfit was specially made for her. This store had all of their items already made, and it was up to the humans to find something that fit them.

Ryan interacted with some sort of strange piece of technology that beeped loudly at him when he aimed a device towards the box. What an odd sound that was. It sounded hollow and almost prickly. It would certainly be annoying if it was heard many more times. Once he was done doing whatever it was he was doing, Ryan slid the box with the shoes in it into a large shopping bag and handed it to the customer. With one more farewell, the human left the store and the next human walked up.

This next customer seemed a bit more twitchy. It appeared to be a female, judging by her chest. That was the main difference that Celestia was seeing; the females had their mammary glands on their chests while the males were mostly flat-chested. Mostly. Some of the larger customers were pushing some boundaries.

Anyway, this female was shifting from side to side nervously. In her hands was a bright orange box with some kind of weird check mark on it. Ryan greeted her with the same kind smile and took the box to check it. The whole procedure seemed to have been going fine until Ryan made the machine beep again. Immediately, the female started losing her mind.

 _"That's not the right price!"_ she yelled, pointing to a tag on the box. Ryan followed her finger and examined the orange tag that looked to have been ripped and hastily put on. Princess Celestia knew what had happened instantly. That was attempted thievery! Ryan just kept smiling and pulled the box closer, removing the tag the rest of the way and exposing the true tag underneath. He kept his kind smile, while the woman just went rigid and got more defensive.

" _Ah, I see what happened. Looks like someone was messing with the tags again,_ " he calmly told her. The others in line were eyeing the thief with suspicion. The woman just got more nervous and tried staring at Ryan. Maybe she was trying to intimidate him? It had obviously been her! Why wasn't Ryan confronting her about it? Did he truly believe that she was innocent?

" _Th-that's not my problem. The tag was on there when I saw it. You have to honor the advertised price!_ " she was getting oddly aggressive now. A few of the other workers were moving closer. They kept their distance, not interfering but keeping a close eye on what was happening. One of the girls, the smallest one, was giving the customer a glare that could have killed if she had used her magic.

That was another thing Princess Celestia noticed. None of the humans were using any of their magic. Maybe they just didn't need it for what they were doing? Thoughts for later, time to see what was happening. Ryan was just smiling calmly at the customer.

" _Sorry, that happens sometimes. Unfortunately, I can't change the price, because-_ " he was cut off by the fuming thief.

" _This is ridiculous! Where's your manager?!_ " she yelled. Instantly, one of the workers walked up. This female was the oldest of the bunch and had been watching the closest. Ryan stepped back and allowed the woman to take his position. He folded his arms and gave the woman a knowing smirk. What was he doing? That leech was obviously going to lie to get her way!

" _How can I help you, ma'am?_ " the manager asked softly. The woman collected herself in an attempt to give herself more credibility. She met eyes with Ryan for a moment. He was giving her a playful grin that she responded to with a sneer. She matched his folded arms and took a deep breath.

" _Y-yes, I was trying to buy these, but that guy behind you tried changing the price to something other than what was on the sticker!_ " she accused. Ryan just smiled wider and buried his face in his hand. The woman took this as a sign of him being embarrassed and smiled victoriously. The manager did the same beep thing to the box before lifting an eyebrow at the woman. The thief's confidence faltered at the look she was given.

" _Ma'am, the sticker price that was on the box was actually higher than the sale price on these,_ " the older woman deadpanned. The younger customer's eyes shot open. For a few moments, she tried desperately to say something, but all she achieved was looking like a beached fish. Ryan had both of his hands to his face now, trying not to laugh too loudly. The other workers around the store were also trying their best to not crack up. Even the other customers in line were smiling.

The customer quickly made her purchase and rushed out of the store. As soon as she was out of sight, every human in the store burst out laughing. Several of the other customers in line walked up to Ryan and gave him a pat on the back for his calm handling of the situation.

" _Nah, it's fine. Happens all the time, honestly. Just have to let them defeat themselves,_ " he chuckled. The smaller girl walked up behind the larger man and punched him as hard as she could on the back. The impact had a deep bass sound to it, but Ryan acted as if he had barely felt it. He just turned around with a raised brow and grinned.

" _That's what, the third one this week?_ " he asked the small girl. She just nodded up at him.

Celestia looked around the room, examining the reactions of the other ponies. Why had that girl punched Ryan? That was clearly assault in some form of the word. Or maybe things worked differently in this world. Perhaps the punch was a show of force or dominance? Was that girl claiming her right to him?

"Luna, is that his special some...er, mate?" Princess Celestia asked. She flinched back in surprise when Luna's head whipped around to face her. A look of deep shock was adorning the face of the blue alicorn. Had she said something offensive somehow?

"No! That was only Rebecca. She was just...'hitty' like that. Do not pay attention to her," Luna huffed. Was she...pouting? That was confusing. But this Ryan character was his own set of cards. That woman had just started screaming at him and attempted to lie her way into a lower price. Granted, she had been stupid and actually tried to increase the price, but even if she had gotten it right...

Ryan probably would have stayed just as calm. He seemed to let nothing bother him all that much. If this was the being that now existed in the real world, with a fuse attached to his emotional state, then maybe Ponyville was as safe as Luna had made it out to be. Celestia would wait to pass that sort of judgement until more was shown, though.

The Solar Princess's attention was caught by a figure watching Ryan from the back of the store. This was another human, of course, but she had been acting strangely. At first she looked suspicious enough to think she would try and rob the store directly, but as the moments passed, it became clear that she was just observing. She was a small woman, but not as small as Rebecca. She had a darker blonde head of hair that she had tried to hide behind while she watched.

Ryan noticed her watching him as well and starting walking towards her. He seemed to assume that her stare was meant to signify to him that she needed assistance of some sort. When she saw that he was approaching her, her eyes shot open and she quickly ran out of the store. The tall man blinked a few times before shaking his head.

" _Oookay, then_ ," he sighed to himself. Celestia tilted her head and turned to ask another question to her sister. Luna was too busy shaking nervously to even process that she was being talked to. What was going on now? She had been acting fine before that strange female showed up. Maybe she had been a bit jealous about something, but now she looked terrified.

"Sister? What is wrong?" the white alicorn asked. The concern in her voice broke Luna from her trembling. She turned her head slowly, trying to regain her composure. The laughs of the other ponies in the room helped her clear her mind.

"Yes, of course, Tia. I just...let my mind wander for a moment," she tried to explain. Princess Celestia was not convinced by her sister's excuse. Something about that human in the projection had clearly disturbed her. Was that woman going to be a problem in the future episodes? Being that this was the first time that Celestia had ever seen the show, she had literally no idea what was going on despite for Ryan staying calm against an aggressor and selling some shoes.

The projection faded to black soon after Ryan had helped a lost young one find her parents. The throne room erupted into stomping applause and cheers for more. That was it? It was nothing more than odd creatures that interacted with one another. Why had this story gained so much momentum? Celestia had assumed that the story was at least going to be exciting in some way. But maybe that was the charm. A different world with different creatures, living their lives. Did they even possess any magical abilities at all? How did they manage to create such intricate structures without magic? Too many questions.

" _Would you like to watch another episode?_ " the gem on the floor asked. Before the sisters could answer, the nobles in the room all decided to answer for them. At the same time. With every pony shouting the name of a different episode. The gem on the ground tried to process all the information that it was being given, but it was simply too much. After a few moments of humming that was barely heard over the sounds of the roaring ponies, the projection just popped up with ' **:(** ' shown in the middle. Princess Luna decided to end the madness with a well-place Royal Canterlot shout.

"SILENCE!" she thundered, causing a few of the ponies to fall over in fright. The room went dead silent except for the sound of ponies falling into the pond outside. She really needed to close that window before she used her Royal Canterlot Voice. Too many ponies had dove out of it today.

"We would like to watch the episode labeled ' _Sarah_ ,'" Luna calmly said to the gem on the floor. It gave her a quick ' **:)** ' before humming to life.

" _Playing Season 5, episode 1_ ," the gem said before beginning the projection.

This time, the scene opened outside. Princess Celestia gasped at the sight of the open area. No longer were they seeing the inside of the building with the many stores and people. Now everypony sat staring at the open city. Hundreds of people walked along the side of the street with the same busy sense of purpose that was so familiar for these creatures. The people were just as diverse as they had seen, but the buildings...

These creatures _had_ to possess magic of some sort. How else would they have created anything close to the architectural masterpieces that were displayed for all to see? Princess Celestia was blown away. The structures were so tall! How would they manage to keep all of that material upright and safe? Some of them looked like they could fall over at any moment!

She was surprised that she recognized some of these designs. A few of her most prestigious architects had shown her plans for making buildings very similar to the ones she was looking at. Is that where they came from? Celestia had initially passed the designs off as too risky and fantastical. But there they were...as real as the humans that occupied them.

Which was to say they weren't, actually. They were still just part of a story and humans didn't exist.

Until now, thanks to Twilight.

So there Ryan was, just walking along the sidewalk. He was wearing his same work attire, but also wore a plain gray zip-up hoodie over it. It must have been one of the colder seasons. Princess Celestia was once again struck by how familiar the new piece of clothing was. Just a simple gray top...she had seen it before. In Canterlot. But why? It was much too simple to have been sold in the clothing stores in the city. Despite the lackluster design and colors, she had seen nobles wearing it...

Oh. She had seen merchandise based on Ryan. The nobles had worn that attire as a show of support for their favorite human. This was getting out of hoof. Why did they like him so much? Sure, he seemed kind and collected enough, but just what had he done to secure his position as a fictional celebrity?

He was just walking along, his hands in his pockets. Every few seconds, a tuft of steamy air would rise from his nose. Yep, definitely one of the colder seasons. The other humans just walked by him without noticing his existence. If they only knew that they were walking by someone of his stature. Where was he going? Okay, he was walking inside of some kind of multi-layered outdoor building. Inside, there was a multitude of the large contraptions that Celestia had spotted moving around outside. They were some kind of odd metallic self-propelling carriages. Did the humans pilot them? It made as much sense as anything else in this world.

Ryan walked up some stairs before coming out into a different level of the carriage resting area. He was making a whistling noise with his lips akin to what a bird would do. It was a strange tune that sounded...other-wordly. He continued on walking while whistling his song until he came to a black carriage that was smaller than the ones around it.

It was then that Celestia spotted movement coming up from behind him. Some of the noble ponies tried to warn the projected image about the impending danger, but it was obviously futile. Not only was it just an image, it was also a recorded image. The story had been told years before. Nothing anypony could do could change what was happening.

Ryan barely had time to comprehend what was going on before he was shoved violently against his carriage by another figure wearing mostly black. The assailant was smaller than Ryan, but something about the metal object that they were pressing against Ryan's head was keeping him frozen still.

" _Gimme your fucking keys!_ " the figure demanded in a hushed tone. Despite the low volume of the voice, the malice and will to harm was clear. All of the other ponies in the room flinched, including Princess Luna. What was that word that he had said? It seemed to cause discomfort to the others. Celestia was very confused. It sounded very close to 'Bucking.' It must have been a piece of harsh language in that world. Why did the other ponies know it so well?

They were fans. Maybe they knew the ins and outs of the strange world?

Now some of the ponies were shivering as they stared up at the sight before them. Ryan held himself completely still, trying to figure out what was going on. Why didn't he fight back? He was much larger than his attacker, he should have had no problem subduing them.

"Sister, what is that piece of metal in that figure's hand?" Princess Celestia asked. Luna looked over. She had been trembling with more than just fear or suspense. She was _furious_ at what was happening in the projection.

"That...is a gun. It...it uses a miniature explosion to send bits of metal flying out at tremendous speeds. It is one of humanity's greatest weapons," Luna responded, her voice becoming more stable as she went on. Princess Celestia was repulsed. Such lethal force! And it was small enough to fit into one hand. So the attacker was threatening to make a piece of metal fly through Ryan's head! It made sense now that Luna had been mad. She was a huge fan of Ryan, and to see a random figure threaten to murder him was plenty enough to set her off.

Ryan just stood there, completely motionless. This appeared to have been the wrong choice, as the assailant responded to his silence by smacking the side of his head with the gun. Ryan grunted and stumbled to the side, clutching his head. A few drops of blood stained the carriage now, causing a few of the ponies in the room to either cry out or get nauseous. Just then, another series of movements appeared to the left of the attack. Another new figure flew into the scene and tackled the assailant, _hard_. The attacker grunted and smashed into the part of the carriage that Ryan had been pushed against only moments earlier.

This _was_ exciting! Celestia found herself leaning closer to the projection, trying to make out every detail of what was happening.

" _Get away from him!_ " shouted the new figure in a voice that was much too familiar to the Solar Princess. It sounded so very close to her, but different at the same time. Like somepony very well-known was trying out a different accent. But who was it? The answer was on the very edge of her mind. It was already driving her insane.

The attacker tried to turn around and raise the gun to the new character. Before they could so much as aim it, it was snatched from their grasp and swung into their face with astounding force. The ponies in the room cheered as more blood joined the side of the carriage, this time coming from the nose of the hooded attacker. The hood flew back, revealing a light-skinned male with very short hair. He looked rugged and almost starved. His eyes were trying to focus on the figure with the familiar voice, but the blood trickling down his face caught his attention. He looked to be in so much pain that he could barley yell out. Without another word, the gun was once again brought down onto the man's head, knocking him to the ground. He looked unconscious, if he was even still alive.

The projection moved over to show Ryan on the ground, still clutching his head. His hair was soaked with blood. The strike from the weapon must have given him a gash. His savior quickly moved to him and lifted his head. When the scene moved out a bit, Celestia gasped. The other ponies in the room started cheering. Their joyous screams died out after a few seconds and a look of glum realization spreads through the faces of the crowd. What was wrong with them?

" _Th-thanks..._ " Celestia heard Ryan choke out, his voice weak and raspy. It hurt her somewhat to see such a kind, gentle man reduced to this. He had done nothing to wrong his attacker; he had just been walking to his carriage. Yet there he was, bleeding and nearly unconscious on the ground. His attacker lay probably dying on the ground, a pool a blood spreading from where his nose had landed. Just who had saved Ryan? Why did she sound so familiar?

" _I'm just happy you're okay, Ry..._ " choked the savior. Ryan blinked in confusion up at her. She was definitely a female, now that Celestia could see her chest and face. The hair was what tipped her off. That was the same girl that had been watching Ryan at the shoe store! Had she been following him? As creepy as that was, it was a good thing she did. Otherwise, Ryan might have been the one dying on the ground.

" _Do...do I know you...?_ " the injured man said weakly. A look of deep hurt and confusion flashed across the girl's face. Very slowly, she lifted her gaze until she was looking straight into the projection. At this angle, Princess Celestia could see deep into her eyes. They were a very pretty bluish green color. Almost the same color as...

Luna.

The voice also clicked in that instant. She sounded exactly like Luna. She had the same eyes as Luna. Celestia turned her head slowly towards her younger sister, who was busy trying to scoot away quietly. A look of nervous apprehension was very obviously plastered on her facial features.

"Sister," stated Celestia. Luna froze and looked up, but not directly at her older sister.

"Y-yes, Tia?" inquired the Princess of the Night, trying her best to keep her voice from shaking. Celestia just looked into her eyes with a stern glare. Now that she could compare the two, she could see that Luna's eyes were the same exact color as the girl in the projection.

"Why does that character have your voice and eyes?" Luna just swallowed and tried once more to calm herself.

"That...is why I showed you these episodes, sister. That...is me..." she confessed. The larger alicorn froze in shock. Her sister had just admitted to being a character in a fictional story. How was that even possible? How did those transfer gems even work? Something told her she was going to need to get into contact with the Flim Flam brothers regarding the security of their gems. First Twilight had used it to yank another unicorn's memories out through one of them, and now Luna was telling her that she was inside the story.

"How?" was all Celestia managed to sputter. Luna took a deep breath before trying to explain herself.

"Those gems...they function by putting the user into a sleep-like state so that they can focus on creating an image in their mind. I...just so happen to be able to access the dream sequences while they're happening. So I...kind of went into the head of the storyteller..." Luna was quickly losing her confidence. Celestia's eyes had just got wider and wider as she went on. They were interrupted by the projection, which had been going on the entire time they had been talking.

" _I'm...Sarah..._ " spoke the girl softly. Her darker blonde hair was covering her face, almost concealing the tears that were falling. Her choked sobs and hiccups were way too familiar for Celestia. That character on the screen was her sister, without a doubt. How hadn't anypony else figured it out from her voice alone?

Well, it _had_ taken Celestia a good while to figure it out, and she was her _sister_. Other ponies probably barely knew what Luna sounded like normally. How would they pick out her voice when she was trying her best to disguise it? And now that she thought about it, her sister's depression made sense now. Ryan had died. How did he die? Celestia hadn't actually took the time to learn about what had been going on besides for the death itself. What was their relationship in this show? But the better question was...

"Luna, how old is this episode?" Princess Celestia asked quietly. She had to speak low so that this whole situation did not spread around. The other ponies could _not_ hear the conversation they were having. To know that their princess was secretly inserting herself into the most popular gemline show in Equestria...it would be utter chaos.

"It's...the fifth season opener...so about two years..." Luna said just as quietly. Two years. This had been going on right under Celestia's nose for two whole years. How had she managed to keep herself hidden for so long? Princess Celestia knew that her younger sister probably could have kept it going on for much longer if not for Twilight's intervention.

"But...why?" Celestia managed to ask. Why would Luna put them both into this kind of situation? Luna just sighed and looked back to the projection. ' _Sarah_ ' was now helping Ryan walk out of the building, calling for help the whole time. He looked in really rough shape; blood trickled down the gash he had received from the gun, he was barely standing, and he was blinking like he would pass out at any moment. He probably had gotten a concussion. Luckily, a human that appeared to represent the local law enforcement spotted them and ran over to help. They were just lucky that they were in a more populated area where they could easily find others willing to assist them.

"I did not mean to at first...I did not know she was a storyteller. Back when this happened, I didn't even know what _OtherWorld_ was. I was there because I enjoyed the visions inside the mind of the unicorn who created the world. It was so amazing, she dreamed of this world and its inhabitants every night. The sights, the sounds, the smells...they were all so real. I truly do believe the storyteller for _OtherWorld_ is one of the most powerful _leaksleepers_ I have ever seen. I tried to interact with the inhabitants in the dream, but couldn't. Except for a few. Those few were Ryan Burbank and his family. I met them a long while before the episode you just saw-" Luna was cut from her explanation by her sister, who was trying her best to follow all of this information.

"But Ryan acted like he didn't know you. If you knew him in the dream long before he met you in the episode, why did he act oblivious? Was he aware that the world was not real?" Celestia asked. The last question was more directed at herself than at Luna.

"Ryan...he was different that day. I hadn't visited him during one of the projections before. He knew me so well...then to act like he had no idea, it...it hurt, sister," Luna lamented. Her beautiful teal eyes had set their gaze to the floor. Celestia felt a pang of sympathy break through the shock and confusion of what was going on. Luna had trouble making friends since her return from the moon. Somehow, she had found a friend in a fictional character in a story, but that character was made to forget her for the sake of the show. Why, though? Was the storyteller aware of 'Sarah' being there? Maybe when she stumbled into the projection, she accidentally made herself aware to the storyteller. Then...Ryan was made to go through a sort of introductory scene with her.

Luna continued after a few moments. "The way he was attacked...it was so outlandish. I knew something was wrong when he asked me who I was. It was then that I realized that we were being watched. And Ryan was being manipulated. I had become part of a story I had been unaware of," she said. Celestia nodded to herself. Best to just accept the facts as they come. Pondering led to questions, which led to confusion, which led to...something.

"What was your relationship with Ryan?" Celestia asked, trying to sound as innocent as she could. Inside, though, she was dreading what the answer could have possibly been. Luna's blushing face did not ease her mind in the slightest.

"He was...uhm...it was intimate, Tia," Luna finally sighed. Princess Celestia went rigid again from shock. Ryan was real now. Luna had apparently disguised herself as a human and got into a relationship with him. Ryan was surely unaware of Luna's true form. Ryan was now a bomb that could possibly be set off by emotional instability. The shock of learning Luna's true self would very likely be more than enough to push him over the edge.

"Luna...have you told him?" Celestia asked, her voice shaking. Again, the images of Ponyville smoldering in the distance flashed before her eyes. It was just getting more and more likely. To both her horror and relief, Luna nodded. She was relieved that she had, but at the same time, she was horrified of what could have happened without her even knowing.

"I did. Last night I went into his dreams and discussed his current situation with him while Twilight Sparkle soothed him from the outside. All is well at this time, sister. Oh, and he even had a party in Ponyville! The ponies there loved him! The town is pretty much back to normal working order now. His existence knocked everypony out of the funk they had been experiencing since witnessing his death," she told her. Celestia was stunned again. That...could work wonders. If seeing Ryan alive would bring happiness to her ponies once more, then why not use him to do so? If he had weathered a party in Ponyville, surely he would not mind cheering up a _few_ more ponies.

"So you managed to keep him calm. Did he...almost go off at all...?" the Princess of the Sun asked. Luna shivered once before nodding. The nonexistent color drained from Celestia's face.

"When he heard me, for the first time...I admit, I should have used more tact when I first met him at the party...but Tia, I love him. I saw him die...and there he was, right in front of me. I tried to get him to understand too quickly. He passed out and almost..." she couldn't say anymore. The memory of his body trembling and glowing purple was too painful and fresh in her mind. Twilight had told her after the fact that he had passed out once before, but apparently it was from the overload of cuteness he had received from a filly. The purple alicorn had referred to it as a ' _heart awwtack_.'

"I'm just glad you didn't do anything else to set him off before you left..." Celestia sighed in relief. Luna started to nod before the last interaction she had with her love flashed through her mind. Her large teal eyes got even larger and she almost screamed out. The ponies in the room were too busy watching the show to notice the emotional turmoil the two sisters were going through together. Celestia, on the other hoof, noticed the look on Luna's face. "What's wrong, Luna?"

"I...may...have...sorta, um...changed his gender in his dream for the night..." Luna said sheepishly.

_Eye twitch_

"W...why...?" Celestia was doing everything in her power to not shout the room into oblivion again. If it was possibly, she probably would have started tearing her mane out. But as it was, the hairs in her mane were not rooted in the traditional sense. It would have been like trying to tear water in two. Luna blushed and scraped her hoof along the floor.

"He was kissing other mares," she said in a hushed whisper. Another eye twitch.

"So...I can understand you almost setting him off when you first met him...but then you decide to risk setting him off even after learning of his condition?" Celestia asked in amazement. Ponyville could have been destroyed by now, but at least Ryan would have learned never to kiss any more mares! Luna finally took the time to ponder her motivations reflectively and came to the conclusion that she had indeed been an idiot about the whole thing. A loud ' _smack_ ' echoed through the room as Luna facehoofed.

"I know of my mistake now, sister. I will do everything in my power to keep out any elements that could disturb him," Luna promised her. Her older sister looked her in the eyes for a few seconds before nodding. Plans on how to solve the whole problem could be formed once the fact that such a problem existed sank in.

Both sisters went quiet just in time for the whole room to erupt in cheers. They looked up at the projection to see Ryan in a hospital bed, locked lips with 'Sarah.' He had an odd look of shocked confusion on his face, but it was wiped away with a shrug of his shoulders. It was clear at this point that he had not initiated the show of affection. In fact, Luna had been the aggressor in this attack. Attack on his lips.

The projection faded and was immediately followed by the nobles trying to shout out episode names once again. The gem didn't even try to register the titles this time, choosing instead to just sit there with a ' **> :(** ' floating above it. Snarky little bugger, that one. Princess Luna stretched her wings and yawned once, her pillow fluffing around underneath her.

"I believe that is enough for now, Tia. We will discuss this further once-" Luna was cut off by one of the nobles, who had somehow managed to drown out the voices of every other pony in the room.

"The princess needs to see the new episode!" he shouted. "I have a recording of it on me!" The room became a choir of agreement before either princess could stop it. Luna wanted to do nothing other than remove the mouth from the obtrusive stallion, but Celestia actually quite liked the idea.

" _NO_ , sister, we can't! It's, uh...very late, yes!" Luna tried reasoning, pointing her leg at the window that had served a diving board for a half dozen ponies that day. Her argument might have worked...if the sun wasn't currently shining brightly through it. Celestia was extremely confused at this point. Why didn't Luna want her to see the episode? Why was she getting so defensive? And why would she try to convince her sister of the time by using the sun's position? Celestia literally controlled where it went.

"Luna, the time is fine. I want to see the episode that caused the misery of so many of my little ponies. Maybe then I'll understand the problem a little better," Celestia stated. Luna wanted to argue further, but the tone in her older sister's voice let her know that the point was beyond refuting. Her mind had been made up.

Princess Luna sighed and nodded, pressing herself into her cushion. She didn't want to have see...it...all over again. Once was hard enough. And to see Ryan's face when he woke up and noticed she wasn't there...it would be too much.

One of the guards changed the recording gem out for the smaller gem with the most recent episode. Normally, the possession of a burned gem would be grounds for a fine, but the Princess was adamant about seeing it. With a few noisy slurps from his soda-drink hat, the guard clicked everything into place. The little makeshift gem hummed to life and the projection went up. The image was rather shoddy from the hasty recording. Still, everypony could clearly see the hospital room with a very sickly Ryan Burbank sitting in the bed. The feeling of gloom and death permeated the air now, especially since all of the ponies in the room knew how it would end.

Luna let out one last groan when she witnessed her human self tease Ryan with her rump. She quickly buried her head into the pillow to hopefully drown out the screams that would come momentarily.


	10. S1E10: Trifecta

Oh, man. I felt so bad for Rarity right then. Her house...her place of business...it was _fucked_. Instead of the glamorous and carefully designed majesty that it held before, there now sat a building with two giant holes blown out from the walls. One of the holes was a very cartoony shape of a stallion, while the other hole was a lot larger and more jagged. Hey, why didn't I make a funny hole like the one Time Warner had made? I just smashed into the wall and blew it out. Maybe it was my shape or something. Weird.

Rarity wasn't taking it too well. She was pacing back and forth in front of her home, looking up at it every few seconds. After she got an eyeful, she would always shiver and look back down. She had developed a stressed twitch and her mane was now as unkempt as mine usually was when it got longer. Long hair sucks. I hated having to manage it every morning. How did Rarity keep it so... _fabulous_ all of the time? I would have gone mad.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash had gone off together to help the guards look for our airborne friend. Pinkie Pie had zoomed off for one reason or another, hopefully to get some treats from Sugarcube Corner. I still wanted to try some of her baking, even if...I didn't really need to eat anymore. But hey, if I didn't need to eat, then maybe consuming vast amounts of sugar wouldn't turn me into a bowling ball. Fluttershy and Twilight had stayed behind with Rarity and me to assess the damage. Our conclusion?

Shit was fucked, yo.

I would still help, like I promised myself, but damn. I had built a cabin from scratch, but I had no idea where to start on this. I didn't even know what her boutique was made out of. Wood? Maybe. Was there drywall involved? Didn't know. I pulled on my imaginary work gloves and moved closer, examining the disaster.

Fluttershy and Twilight had been following me around since the whole incident had taken place. Fluttershy was holding her first-aid kit in her mouth once again, being adorable. Twilight was likely making sure she was around me at all times in case she needed to pull me back into my body again. I got why she was so worried, but I didn't really want her following me everywhere. What about when I would need to shower? Or she needed to use the bathroom? The thought alone made me shiver and blush.

No, I would need to figure out how to pull myself back together in those situations. What did I do when I belched? I didn't even drift that much. The voice of my mom also refused to make a reappearance. Maybe I was getting better? Good. If I wasn't stable enough to handle it on my own, I didn't want to be around these ponies. Too much of a risk. But after all that had already happened, maybe I was finally in for some smooth sailing.

Yeah, right.

"Hey, Rarity, can you make a list of the materials you used for your walls?" I asked, turning my attention away from the damage. The white mare jumped a bit when I addressed her. I guess she was stuck in her own little world of anger and shock. The destruction of one's home can do that. She shook her head from side to side before responding.

"O-oh...why y-yes...of course..." she stuttered, moving through the doorway to retrieve some writing supplies. Her posture was seriously depressing me. She was slouched while walking, as if her entire world had just crumbled around her. Don't worry, Rarity...I'll help fix this mess I caused. Twilight gave me a scare of my own by bumping her side into my leg. I looked down at the purple alicorn and tilted my head.

"You...almost went off again..." she sighed. A shiver went through her body and she closed her eyes. I ran my fingers through my hair in contemplation. Rarity hadn't been the only victim of all of this. Twilight had watched me almost explode twice today, and the rest of the girls didn't seem to take it all that well either. Fluttershy especially, with how much she wanted to help while not being able to. She was also right alongside me, holding her little kit the entire time.

I sighed and reached down, petting both mares behind their ears. Both melted into my fingers simultaneously. The looks of pure bliss they got brought a much-needed smile to my face. It was so easy to bring happiness to them. It felt...right. I wanted really nothing more at that point then to make every one of my pony friends happy. It was something I had done back on Earth, and I wasn't going to stop. So far, I had done a terrible job at spreading cheer, what with my constant almost-exploding...but I would make up for that.

"I know, Twi...sorry, I really didn't expect for that magic thing to happen. Still getting used to...all this," I pondered, my fingers still teasing the back of her ears and some of her mane. She fought against the power of my awesome fingertips and shook her head.

"It's not just...Ryan, you...you jumped in front of me..." she spoke softly, her large lavender eyes staring into my own. The early signs of tears were starting to become noticeable. Oh, come on! No more crying! I increased the intensity of my head rubs to both Twilight and Fluttershy. They both lost their wills and started twitching in joy. Flutters even accidentally dropped her medical box.

"Yep. I would do it for any one of you. You guys have been way too great to me...you're all really good friends. And, honestly, I didn't think the guy would actually attack. I mean, you're a damn princess. What kind of idiot would do that?" I explained to her. She got a really happy look on her face for a few seconds before it became one of fierce determination. She stomped her hoof one before making her declaration.

"The kind of idiot that will soon be secured in the deepest, darkest dungeon Equestria has to offer," she stated, her air of authority returning. I really didn't see her like that often. It wasn't really any wonder Time hadn't taken her princess-hood seriously. Did he even know who she was? And the thought of him being locked up in a dungeon for the remainder of his life...I don't know, it just seemed a bit harsh. The guy clearly had some kind of anger problem. Maybe a mental illness? What he needed was some therapy. And restraints.

"Eh, that seems a bit much, Twi. I think there was something seriously wrong with him. Maybe he could use some help?" I offered, moving my attention back to the wall. Already, thoughts of what tools would be needed were starting to form. Twilight took a step back and looked up at me like I was crazy. Fluttershy just shied away, trying to hide her disappointment from the lack of further head rubs. I see right through you, Flutters. There's no use hiding your lust for my fingers!

"Ryan! He _attacked_ me! He could have _killed_ you! And if that had happened, he could have _destroyed all of Ponyville_!" Twilight argued. That point made me shiver once again. She was right, I could have gone off and killed every pony in the town. But he didn't know that. Hell, I don't think he even believed that I was self-aware. He was likely not in his right mind at the time.

"I know, but still..." was all I could retort with. At that moment, Rarity returned with her list. She looked just as messy as before, but now her eyes were red. She had been crying inside where we couldn't see. My instincts took over and I quickly moved towards her. She jumped a bit at my sudden movement, but quickly relaxed as I took her into a warm hug. She buried her face into my neck and screamed, her voice muffled by my body.

"Shh...it's okay, Rarity. We'll help you fix it," I assured her. Her whole body was trembling with the grief she had been trying to hide from us. "Just let it all out..."

And she did.

The hug was quickly joined by Twilight and Fluttershy, both mares offering their own comforting words. After a few minutes in the supportive embrace, Rarity's body stopped its shivering. She went a bit limp in my arms, likely tired out from stress. I couldn't blame her in the slightest. She had witnessed me almost die twice, the same as the other girls. Then she had been confronted in her own home by a crazy stallion that could have set me off and killed her. Then her boutique was turned into Swiss cheese, courtesy of yours truly. She probably just wanted to sleep and wait for everything to go back to normal. At least, that's what I would have wanted to do in her situation. A nap sounded good, but I had work to do.

"Oh...why is all of this happening?" Rarity lamented. I held her a bit tighter, stroking her lovely purple mane. Even in its frizz, it was still beautiful.

"I'm here, Rarity. I know a thing or two about building houses...though you probably already knew that," I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. Fortunately, it seemed to work a little bit. She looked up at me with her large blue eyes. They were deep...very close to Sarah's eyes. I could almost lose myself in them...

A small smile slowly worked its way onto her lips. Finally, after almost a full minute, she let out a weak giggle. "Y-yes, I suppose I did. Though my boutique may be a _bit_ more complicated than your log cabin," she teased. Good, she's joking back at me. Time to ham it up.

"I take offense to that, madame!" I said in a fake fancy voice, my hand placed over my heart in a ' _Why, I never!_ ' pose. She blinked but caught on quickly and gave me a larger smile. Twilight and Fluttershy were also smiling proudly at me, too. They looked at me like I had just won a major award or something. Hopefully, it was a bowling alley. Or a lamp.

"Oh, quit it, good sir. I'm sure your skills are plenty enough to help little old me." Okay, this mare was funny. I could imagine sending this banter back and forth in the future and never having it get old. She just pulled it off so well!

"Little? Yes. Old? Not even cl-" I was interrupted by shouting off in the direction of where the guards had went. The color drained from my face as I looked up. In the air, pretty far off, I could see a bright streak of rainbow darting around wildly in the sky. Rainbow Dash looked like she was trying to signal the others. She must have found Time Warner. She was changing positions, which led me to believe that he was trying to run away.

Before I could do anything, Rarity jumped away from me and started running towards the commotion. Fluttershy and Twilight were quick to follow her. I barely caught a glimpse of their faces, but their looks of determined anger scared me. I didn't want them anywhere near that psychopath, but I doubt I could have done anything to stop them. They were out for blood, now. Time Warner had tried to kill me, and very well might have if it hadn't been for my magical absorption thing. My new friends...my best friends, they were already very protective over me. They had stood in front of me when Time had first appeared. Without even knowing what he could have done to them, they acted.

Well, at least that made me feel a little bit less of an idiot. I was just as impulsive as them in that regard.

Being my impulsive self, I immediately took off running after them.

"Hey! C'mon, guys, stop!" I shouted, doing my best to keep up with the three quadrupeds. I wanted to go faster, but as soon as I started to push myself to give more than a little effort, I started getting dizzy again. Not the out-of-shape kind of dizzy, but a much more familiar, explosive dizzy. Oh, fuck right the hell off! So I couldn't even run around without risking the collapse of my body? That's bullshit!

Thanks to my newly discovered restrictions, I lost sight of my friends within seconds. Of course, the commotion had drawn the other ponies out of their little cottages. Heh, at least I wasn't alone now. Many of the ponies I recognized from last night's party. They seemed to recognize me, too. Um...duh. Of course they would.

A few of them noticed my strained walk and ran over to join me, worry evident on their adorable pastel faces. Very thoughtful of them, but like Fluttershy, there was nothing they could really do to help me. I did enjoy the company, though.

"Wussap, dude?" I heard a familiar scratchy voice from behind me. I turned around to see who it was, but I honestly already knew. Vinyl Scratch was trotting up to walk by my side, her eyes hidden by her shades. Even with her eye-wear, I could still see a few dark rings present. She must have just woken up and rushed out here to see what was causing all the noise.

I tried giving her my best friendly smile, but it was strained. I was still trying to bring myself back together and walk at the same time. It was a really strange feeling. Sort of like if I started spinning, then stopped after a few seconds and tried to focus on something. That weird traveling feeling that I kept having to pull back. I was just glad I was getting used to it all. Even without Twilight here, I believed I could control a smaller episode.

"Um...Ryan, you okay?" she asked, tilting her head to the side and causing her electric blue mane to flop sloppily towards the ground. I slowed down a bit so I could focus myself more.

_Inhale_

_Exhale_

_Inhale_

" _Hwooo..._ " I sighed. I had stopped walking entirely, Vinyl moving closer to examine me. "Yeah, Vinyl...just a bit winded is all..." Even though I couldn't see her expression, I could _feel_ the look of suspicion she was giving me. It wasn't doing anything to help me focus. I mean, I know it wasn't really all that true, but why was she looking at me like that?

"Ryan...I...we _all_ saw what happened to you last night. I know something's wrong," she told me. That almost broke my focus. What had happened last night? All I remember is seeing Sarah, her yelling at me, then waking up in the nightmare she had given me. Did I do something after I had passed out?

"What? What happened?" I asked. Vinyl gave me a look of disbelief for a moment before sighing.

"They didn't tell you? You...you started glowing purple or something...Princess Twilight and Princess Luna stopped it somehow, but from what I heard, you could have died..." she said, softer than I had heard her speak thus far. Her words caused me to freeze. I had almost went off last night? So this morning wasn't my first time...it makes sense, I guess. How else would Sarah have known about my potentially explosive nature? I almost felt stupid for not considering that my first meeting with my girlfriend in her true form had probably cause some sort of reaction besides passing out. If the trigger to my internal bomb was set too close to my emotions, then of course I almost blew up. Finding out that Sarah was actually a horse princess with superpowers wasn't the best for my nerves.

"Uh...no, not exactly. They told me what would happen if I...went off...but they didn't say that I had an episode before this morning," I tried to explain. I was less dizzy now that I wasn't walking. Fuck, I felt like I did back before I started exercising back home. Run a little bit, then my chest would start cramping to shit and my heart would go on overdrive. All that conditioning, now I had to restart because my old body was just a thought inside the head of some unicorn somewhere. Vinyl surprised me when she jumped up, planting her front hooves on both of my shoulders. She looked panicked. Was it something I said?

"WHAT?! You almost went off again?!" she demanded, some of her pony saliva flying into my face. Yeesh, pony morning breath. She smelled like booze and...weed? Where would ponies get weed? Oh, man, if they had that stuff here, I was going to go fucking insane in the membrane. I tried to get her to back up a little bit, but she followed my movements. This unicorn was seriously invading my personal bubble.

"Um, yeah. This morning I had a freak-out over a dream Sarah gave me, and I had another one a little while ago after some stallion attacked me," I said to the interrogative mare. Vinyl's left eye gave a twitch as she processed this new information. Then, without warning, she jumped down and started stamping her hooves onto the ground, sending up some dirt.

"What did she do to you?!" she shouted while throwing her tantrum. I was lost at the odd behavior she was presenting. Not knowing any better than to just answer her questions, I responded as truthfully as I could. Which, to say, was to ask just who the hell she was talking about.

"Who?" I asked. At this point, she could have been referring to any female I've been in contact with. Only a couple of them actually wronged me in the slightest, but maybe she didn't know that.

"PRINCESS LUNA!" Vinyl screamed. Her glasses got shaken from her head in her mania. They clattered to the ground, luckily not breaking. The DJ pony looked up to me with her gorgeous red eyes...they were filled with frustration. Why was she upset about what Sarah had done? I had a good reason, but I was fairly certain nobody else knew about what happened in the dream. I shrugged at Vinyl.

"Not sure what you're talking about," I tried to convince her. I honestly didn't want to have to relay the experience of having my dick slide up into me and become a vagina. That shit was the most uncomfortable thing I had ever experienced. It didn't really hurt at all, but just the _thought_ of it happening made it traumatizing. Vinyl was having none of that.

"Ryan, she left you! At the hospital, she left you alone to die! If Princess Luna is Sarah, then she hurt you! What did she do with your dreams?! You just said they almost made you blow up!" she continued to shout. Around us, many of the other ponies were moving closer. I thought the sight of a mad mare would deter them from joining, but I guess I was wrong. But I was too busy going over Vinyl's words in my head to really pay attention to the sets of hooves wrapping around my legs. I kept forgetting that my whole life was a show...all of these ponies had seen what had happened at the hospital. That whole situation...I didn't want to accuse Sarah of anything in my dream, but the truth was that it did hurt. I forgave her for leaving before, but that was before I knew it was just all in a pony's head, and she might have been able to stop it at any time. The only reason she didn't was...hell, I didn't even know if there was a reason. She just didn't.

"Fuck..." I sighed, taking a step back. The ponies attached to my legs didn't move as I was expecting to, though, and I found myself on my back, a cloud of dirt surrounding the crater I had made.

Okay, it wasn't a crater. I was just all dusty now and my back stung a little. The ponies around me gasped when they realized that they had accidentally sent their hero tumbling to his possible doom. Great, now I had a chorus of ' _Sorry!_ ' to break up before I could even sort out my other problems.

"Okay, guys, I'm fine. No harm done," I assured the small crowd of apologetic ponies. They all breathed out a sigh of relief and took a few steps back, giving me some space. I stood back up in time to get another pony hug. This time, it was the white and blue mare that only moments ago was throwing the mother of all fits. Now, she was wrapped around my thighs, burying her face very close to somewhere I didn't feel comfortable with any pony being.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to bring it up again," she said into my leg. I could barely hear her. Please be happy? I want them to be happy. I couldn't handle much more not-being-happy. I just didn't have it in me...

"Vinyl, please, don't...I'm fine, okay? I'm getting better at it. When that crazy dude attacked me a little while ago, I controlled it pretty well by myself!" I tried to assure her. Well, there she goes again, jumping back and looking up at me. Had she not heard me the first time I said it? Maybe she got stuck on the whole 'Sarah gave me nightmares' thing and refused to process anything else.

"Somepony attacked you?! Who?!" she asked, getting louder again. The ponies around her voiced their shared interest in finding out who had tried bringing me further pain. Nope, not dragging them into this whole mess. I don't know if they could fend for themselves against such a violent pony. I would not stand to put more ponies in harm's way just from existing.

The sounds of panicked movement caught my attention. Just ahead, behind some of the houses on the other side of the dirt road, I could see a very familiar color lighting up the darkness.

It was Time Warner's blue magic.

That. _Fuck_.

Without thinking, I started running to where I could see the supposed fight taking place. The dizziness started almost instantly, but I pushed past it and ran faster.

_Faster._

_Faster_ than I have ever run before.

 _Faster_ than _any human_ had run before.

I felt like a fucking rocket. Every push with my legs sent up chunks of dirt and grass. My feet were glowing purple, but I didn't give a shit. If I started to lose it again, I knew how to stabilize myself somewhat. All I knew was that I needed to get to my friends before Time had another chance to hurt them. I wasn't a violent guy; hell, I had never actually been in a fight of any kind before. I had...'other' means of defending myself. But this guy...this Time Warner...he was just a bomb with a shorter fuse than mine. He was willing to attack a fucking _princess_ over owning me. I didn't want to have to punch a guy with mental problems...but I would do what I had to in order to keep my friends safe.

Before a second had passed since I had started running, I was already there. Behind me was a large cloud of dirt and dust that had been flung up in my haste. The crowd of ponies I had left behind could be heard coughing and yelling my name in confusion. I would go back later, but right now I had a job.

"TIME!" I bellowed. In front of me, I could see the bright blue unicorn sending out bolts of blue magic towards the group of guards chasing him. Rainbow Dash was trying to swoop down and land a hit, but he would just shoot some bolts at her whenever she got too close. The sight of Rainbow's wing getting nipped by one of the electric nightmares sent me into even further rage.

At the sound of my voice, the fucker turned around and gaped at me. Instead of the malicious grin he had been wearing, now his face showed only fear. Fear of what I was. Fear of what I could do to him. Fear of what he couldn't do to me. And fear of the anger I was feeling at the sight of him attacking my friend. Maybe he was feeling all of that, I don't know. I wasn't in his head.

He just looked like if he had pants, he would have been shitting them.

I realized that at the speed I was going, I wouldn't have enough room to stop before plowing into him. He looked like he noticed it to, if his panicked scrambling was any indication. I tried stopping my legs, but with my momentum, I needed to keep moving them or I would have gone face first into the ground. So I kept running, my mind frantically scrambling to come up with a solution that didn't involve me running into Time Warner and popping him like a balloon full of red food dye.

I couldn't go down, the ground was there. I couldn't turn with the amount of room I had. I couldn't keep going in fear of aforementioned balloon popping. The only thing left was to go up, so that's what my legs did. In the split second I had left before Time would have become a stain on the ground, I buckled my legs then extended them quickly. My feet left the ground. My body left the ground.

I had only meant to jump over him. I mean, I _did_ , but I jumped high enough to go over a few _dozen_ of him. Holy shit, I'm a bird.

_Up_

_Up_

_Up_

Christ, stop going up! I could see all of Ponyville now! As beautiful as the scene was, I was much more comfortable with viewing it from the damn ground. Oh, yeah. Ground. Well, it turned out that I had stopped going up. That's good! But now I was plummeting through the air towards the hard dirt floor. That's bad...

"HOLY SHIT!" I yelled out, but the wind rushing past my face drowned my voice out. All I could hear was the whistling that went along with my body zooming towards the ground like a missile. I dared myself to look down, but instantly regretted it. Oh, and almost pissed myself.

I was nearing the end of my journey at an alarmingly fast rate. I was headed straight for a large building that for some reason looked like a gingerbread house topped with a cupcake. No! At the speed I was going, I was going to demolish it! Even from where I was in the air, I could make out figures moving around inside. The building had ponies inside of it! And standing in the doorway, staring straight at me, was a very familiar blob of pink.

Pinkie Pie was standing there, her eyes wide and locked onto my form as it descended upon her. Hanging out of her mouth was a ribbon that was tied around a box. It only took me a moment to figure out she was going to bring us some sweets. But now, as it was, I was going to land on both her and the business she was inside of.

No.

Not Pinkie.

Pull up! Pull to the side! Shit, move anything! As much as I tried, my trajectory stayed the same. Pinkie's pupils shrunk as she watched me. The fact that I could see that just made me struggle harder. I couldn't hurt her! Stop! FUCKING STOP!

...

Oh, hey, I stopped. Did I magic myself to stop? Hmm...nope, pretty sure the two cyan legs wrapped under my arms did it. Rainbow Dash flapped as hard as she could, pulling my path of terror away from the bakery. I flew past Pinkie close enough to see the individual curls in her pink poofy mane. The wind from our joined bodies sent Pinkie stumbling a bit backwards, her eyes having to close to keep the dirt out of them. Rainbow Dash, you're my fucking hero.

I tried to shout ' _I'm sorry!_ ' to her, but found my voice muffled by a very sweet tasting object that had somehow found its way into my mouth. I instinctively chewed as my flight pattern was evened out by the rainbow-maned savior attached to my back.

It was a cupcake. It was the most delicious cupcake I had ever tasted in my entire...well, since I've been here. I didn't even care that it was way too sugary for my own good. I chewed and swallowed as Rainbow carried me over the town, back towards where I had lifted off. How had Pinkie managed to give me the cupcake? I hadn't seen her move! Well, except for her being blown around a bit by my body gust. Behind me, Dash let out a sigh.

"Ugh...how did you even do that?" she pondered. I wasn't sure if she was directly asking me or talking to herself. Regardless, I decided to answer her. It was the least I could do in return for saving Pinkie's life. Plus, that cupcake had put me into a good mood.

"Magic body, I guess. I just... _oooh_..." I moaned, my body finally catching up with the strain I had put on it. Now that I could look back on my actions, I really shouldn't have done that. I had problems jogging around without my body using its magic to assist me and destabilize me. So what had I done? Fucking sprinted and turned myself into the world's first space-bound pogo stick. Welcome to the Jam.

Throb

Ow, that one actually hurt. The dizziness was so powerful that it actually caused pain. The world around me tried to spin as if it had suddenly decided to throw itself into a tumble dryer. Okay, I got this. Just need to focus ahead of me...set the world back into where it should be.

_Throb_

Whew, that one wasn't as bad. My vision was also evening out a bit more. Now instead of tumble dryer, it was closer to a teeter-totter. Just a bit more, have to close the distance between the blurs...

Throb

That one barely hurt. And the world finally stopped spinning.

Aaaand done. Yay for me! I had stopped another episode all on my own! Woo! Now I- huh? Somebody was calling me. But who...?

Oh, Rainbow Dash. In my effort to not blow up, I had tuned out everything else around me. In that time, Dash had reached the area where I had jumped from and had set me down on the sweet, sweet ground. I'll never leave you again, baby.

"Ryan! C'mon, snap out of it!" I heard Dash yell at me. I blinked once and shook my head. The look of relief the shot to her face at my movement actually gave me a few pangs of guilt. At least this time I knew upsetting her was necessary; it was far better than letting myself explode and causing her death.

"Sorry, Bowie, had to...um...pull myself together," I tried to explain. She gave me a look of attempted anger that was quickly overwhelmed by how glad she was that I was okay. I didn't really care how I was doing, as long as I didn't blow up. She threw her legs around me again and silently embraced me. She was out of oxygen from the effort it took her to pull me from a free-fall like she had. I could feel her warm breath washing over me every second or so. Her heart pounded against me through her chest. She was warm enough that I could feel her body heat transferring to me even through my hoodie and shirt. It was honestly a nice, relaxing moment between the two of us...

"That! That thing right there! That's the thing that caused this!" I heard a familiar fucker shout from the far left. Oh, go ahead, asshole. We weren't hugging or anything. Dash responded before I could. She spun around and got into an aggressive stance, a low growl coming from her throat. Her intimidation wasn't really needed. I could see that Time Warner was bound in chains, a weird ring thing attached to his horn. At least the guards had managed to get him.

"Quiet!" one of the guards demanded. Time started waving his head around like he wanted to use magic, but nothing happened. HA! They had used some sort of magic cock-block on the dude. No more zippy-zappy for you. Rainbow didn't lose her protective stance, her eyes locked on the aggressor.

"Ryan! Rainbow Dash!" came the voice of another familiar white pony. Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy galloped onto the scene, completing Dash's impromptu circle around me. They all eyed the struggling chained unicorn angrily. In return, he flailed even harder, trying to loosen the chains. He just looked like he was having a Vinyl-esque tantrum. After a few moments of pathetic pushing against his restraints, his gaze moved the ponies around me. His eyes widened and he pointed his hoof at us. Rude.

"There! That's them! They created an illegal product based off of my character and then used it to shoot me out of a building!" he shouted. The guards just raised their eyebrows and looked to Twilight. She cleared her throat before begin her refutation. She had already explained it briefly with a few of the guards, but she hadn't gone into much detail earlier.

"Time Warner tried to claim ownership over Ryan, a living being, before attempting to attack my friends and me. When he used his magic against me in particular, Ryan took the blast and luckily absorbed it. Ryan tried to detain Time Warner after that, but Time just kept pumping Ryan with magic to the point that he backfired and accidentally sent Time flying through the wall," Twilight explained to the guards. They nodded, but the looks of confusion on their faces told me that they really couldn't follow what was being said. Maybe it was too out-there for even the magical pony troopers. Go figure.

"No! She's lying! She-" Time Warner was cut off by one of the guards.

"YOU DO NOT SPEAK ABOUT THE PRINCESS THAT WAY!" he bellowed. Time actually stepped back a bit, seemingly shocked by the force of the shout. Then he looked over to Twilight. His eyes focused on her horn. Then they traveled to her wings.

For a good while, he did not move. The only thing that let me know that he was still alive was the way his eyes were slowly widening in realization. Did...he not see that she was an alicorn before? What, was he so clouded by his anger that he became blind to the world around him? Dude, this stallion was three sorts of idiot.

Time Warner's back legs buckled and he fell into a sitting position. Still, he remained staring at Princess Twilight Sparkle, the alicorn he had assaulted. He shot of bolt of electric magic at a member of the royal family. He knew he was as good as dead, now. Twilight was not going to let him go that easily.

"Furthermore, in the event that he had destabilized Ryan with his attack, the resulting explosion could have been...disastrous," Twilight told the guards. This bit of news shocked both the guards and Time Warner. His front legs were the next to fail him. I watched as his body fell to the ground, but his eyes were still locked on Twilight. Oh, wait, no they weren't. They were looking directly at me; the bomb he could have set off and killed all of Ponyville, including himself.

"Time! Time, what happened?!" came another voice. This one, however, was unfamiliar to myself. I turned my head in time to see three ponies burst onto the scene. The first, the stallion that I was pretty sure had spoken, was a faded blue color with an equally faded red mane. His mark was that of a feather quill. I was surprised to see that he was wearing a dress shirt. The only pony I had seen lately wearing dressy clothing was the stallion currently chained up. The other two attendees were mares. One was a mint-green unicorn with some kind of harp thing on her butt and the other was a normal pony with a cream coat and a blue and pink mane. I think she had candies of some sort on her flank.

None of the new ponies were looking at me. They were moving in on Time Warner, the stallion being the quickest. Instantly, the guards stepped in between the two finely dressed ponies. Time didn't even look up.

"Step away from the prisoner!" the largest guard demanded. The faded blue stallion blinked and stopped advancing.

"Prisoner...? What happened?" asked the stallion. His eyes were darting between the chains on Time Warner and the guard. The armored one in the exchange snorted. I was beginning to feel the same way; too much was going on at once. Who were these new ponies? Why did the stallion seem so adamant to get to Time?

"Time Warner assaulted Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends. That assault also could have set off an explosion that would have leveled all of Ponyville. He's being charged with crimes against the crown and the ponies of Ponyville," the guard stated stoically. With every word, the strange new stallion's eyes got more and more red. He was in tears by the time he was relayed all of the recent happenings. The two mares slowly approached him and wrapped their hooves around him. Huh, I don't think they even looked over at me once. I didn't recognize any of them, so maybe they hadn't seen me at the party. As funny as fainting ponies was, I doubt it would do anything to help the current situation.

"Time...you...Princess...?" stuttered the shocked stallion. His body shook as he finally looked over to us. His eyes settled on Twilight. Even the purple alicorn was fidgeting uncomfortably. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the new guy was somehow close or related to Time Warner. To learn that someone you cared for just basically threw their life away...that had to hurt.

Then his eyes settled on me. He froze where he was sitting, his mouth hanging open. The two mares took notice of this and tried waking him back up. Yep, they hadn't seen me before. Oh, well. Better sit back and watch the fun. Best to get it over with quickly. But my calm was ripped away when the mint-colored mare spoke to him.

"Prime, are you okay? What's wrong?" she asked him in my mother's voice. But that was...uh, what? There was no way that was...

She...that was my mom.

Her voice, right in front of me.

But my mom didn't really exist! The only way her voice could have been...

Oh.

My storyteller.

...

Now it was my turn to gape like a fish. If I was correct in my assessment, then...the pony who had created me was standing right there. She had imagined it all. My birth. My childhood. My teenage years. My family. My whole life. The only thing that turned out to be real was Sarah, but even she was lying in a way. And she also been the one...to kill me.

In my panic, I barely noticed the stallion, 'Prime' as she had called him, raising a shaking hoof towards my position. R-rude. The two mares looked at each other before their gazes followed the direction he was pointing until they spotted me. They froze up in the same way that Prime had. I didn't see what the cream colored mare's face was doing, though. My attention was firmly set on the mint unicorn that had likely created me and killed me in her fantasy. The look of guilty terror she was giving me was only reinforcing my theory.

I didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to do. We just sort of stared at each other for a long, uncomfortable time. The ponies around us were shifting around nervously.

"Lyra? Bon-Bon?" Twilight asked the two mares. So their names were Lyra and Bon-Bon. Just off a guess, I assumed Bon-Bon was the one with the butt candies. That meant that Lyra was my creator. Bon-Bon seemed to shake herself awake at Twilight's voice, but Lyra remained staring at me. I had to say something. This silence between us was fucking unbearable.

"S-so..." I began, "You're...a-are you...?" My words didn't make any sense, but I think she understood what I was asking. She closed her eyes tightly and looked down the ground, her whole body trembling. Then, very gently, she nodded.

So...she was...this pony...she _made_ me.

I...Lyra was sort of like my mom, then, right? She was like my mom if my mom had decided to abort me at age twenty...I wanted to ask her why. Wanted to ask her how. I had so many questions for my creator. How was my family doing? I know they were just imaginary...but I still didn't want their story to turn out as sad as mine had. What was going to happen now? So far since I'd arrived, I'd just been trying to take things as they came. But now, an actual problem arose that required some thought and reflection.

I wanted to run. I wanted to get out of there. I couldn't do this. I wanted to cover my ears and take off sprinting like I had before.

"Hey, what's that?" asked one of the guards. He was pointing up into the sky. Oh, great. _Something else_. Like I didn't already have enough on my plate already. What now? Twilight was the one to answer for me.

"It's Princess Celestia!" she cheered. I had to strain my eyes to see that far off, but she was indeed correct. A white dot was visible in the distance, followed shortly by a blue dot. That was Sarah. Perfect. Just who I wanted to see right now. Wait...

Why was Celestia moving so fast? She looked like a white bullet, soaring straight for...me. Twilight noticed her target at the same time I did, her eyes widening and the color draining from her face. Now that the two older princesses were closer, I could see that Sarah was trying to catch up to her the white alicorn, but just wasn't fast enough. Oh no...had she managed to tell her about my whole exploding situation?

What if...

What if Celestia had just taken off before hearing all the details? If she had set out to rid Equestria of my existence...I was going to blow up! Right here, surrounded by almost all of my best new friends, I would detonate if Celestia killed my construct. Okay, now it really was time to run again.

My mind went on sensory overdrive as I shot up onto my feet. Below me the other ponies were shouting out in either disapproval of my actions or fear what Celestia was going to do. Prime was still staring at me while Time Warner was still gazing at the dirt below him. Twilight was running around in circles, trying to flag the princess to stop her supposed attack. Fluttershy was stuck trying to decide whether to defend me or hide under something. Rarity and Rainbow Dash were looking at me with the most worried expressions I had ever seen on them. Lyra and Bon-Bon were gasping up at the descending white missile. The guards stood at attention, trying to look their most professional. I needed to get going. I didn't know if what was going on was what I thought it was, but I couldn't take chances. My friends' lives were on the line.

So, despite the protest of my friends, I turn and ran.

_Faster._

_Have to go faster._

_Have to get out of range._

If Celestia popped my body, I couldn't be anywhere near Ponyville. The ground under my feet was once again being torn to shreds as my legs carried me away. The town around me went by in a blur. I couldn't make out one pony from another; their colors just faded into one brown smear of motion. I was just lucky enough not to collide into any of them.

Before I knew it, I was away from the buildings. Now it was just a long dirt path that I dug a trench into with my feet. Behind me, I could hear the sound of large, flapping wings.

No fucking way. How was she keeping up with me?! I was going at the speed of plaid! But Celestia was really right behind me, a look of determined worry in her eye. She was going to obliterate me! But I was still too close! Just a bit farther! Ahead, I could see a dark forest zooming up quickly. That would have to do!

"Ryan! Stop!" Celestia called out to me. Her voice sounded oddly...motherly. As tempting as her calming nature seemed, I still couldn't risk going off this close to town.

I put on an extra burst of speed just in time to see a banana peel materialize on the ground, along with a few pieces of popcorn. Accompanying the new food items was an oddly joyous masculine laugh that was coming from nowhere. What the-?

" **OH, SHIT!** " I yelled out as I managed to step right onto the peel. Instantly, the peel shot out from under me with my feet following suit. I did almost three complete back flips before hitting the ground with a tremendous force.

_Oof!_

OW! The back of my head was the first thing to hit. I was still moving at the speed I had been running, so the ground decided to spin me around. This time, I was positioned horizontally so that I would start rolling the next time I hit the dirt. I became vaguely aware of a horrifying purple smoke flowing from my nostrils. Fuck! I couldn't focus on keeping myself together with all of this shit happening!

My dread came to a point as I felt large, warm legs wrap around my torso and lift me away from the cold, harsh dirt path. The flapping of her wings was right on top of me now. She was lifting me into the air.

She had me.

I had failed. Slipped like a jackass and failed. Now I was going to go off and everybody would die and...

...

Huh. Celestia was doing something. Whatever it was, it felt amazing. The purple smoke stopped within moments and my vision cleared. Well, the world was still spinning but I could tell that it wasn't the explosive-countdown-dizzy. This was just normal spinning-in-circles dizzy. The best kind of all, especially after what I had been through. Why was she doing this? Wasn't she going to destroy me for being a threat to the lives of her ponies?

"Shh...it's okay, Ryan," she whispered softly into my ear. Whoa. Well...can't say that I expected that. I might have if I hadn't been so busy flipping my shit. As silly as I had acted, though, I was glad I had tried to avoid the risk of hurting anybody I cared about. The small victories are sometimes the sweetest, I guess.

Then Sarah showed up.

"Tia, don't-!" the blue alicorn pleaded, her chest heaving. She looked really worked up about whatever it was that had happened between them. For some reason, her cheek looked swollen and her eyes looked red. Had they gotten into a fight about something? At the sight of the larger white princess just holding me securely, Sarah sighed in relief and sank to the ground. Celestia followed her and settled us both down next to her.

I wanted to be mad at my girlfriend for the stuff she did to me and Twilight...but the sniffles I heard coming from her direction extinguished my anger in a second. I really had to work on that...even if I had a legitimate complaint, the sight of her tears just shot every argument I had down. In that way, I guess I was pretty weak...

"Ryan...I'm so sorry..." Sarah whispered. She began to let out some choked sobs. Her whole blue body was shaking with grief and guilt.

Um...I guess that works, too.

Maybe I was better at this than I thought.


	11. S1E11: You Don't Know Me Pt.1

Whatever the cushion I was sitting on was made out of, I wanted to live in it. It was the most comfortable thing I had ever felt with my ass, hands down. I just wished that it was a different color. Dark pink wasn't exactly my first choice for couch colors. Eh, couldn't really complain too much, though. It was Twilight's couch, not mine. I wouldn't appreciate somebody walking into my house, rubbing their butt all over my couch and declaring that the color was wrong. At least it was big enough for me. Most of the stuff in this world so far had been pretty small. To find something that could fit me and maybe three others was a blessing.

The only uncomfortable thing about my current situation was my surroundings. There was pretty much nothing around the couch I was in. It was painfully obvious that Twilight had only moved into the castle relatively recently. She _really_ needed to get some more furniture to take up all this empty space. Maybe she just hadn't gotten to this room yet? No...if that was the case, then why would she have brought us in here instead of any other room? It was just kind of unnerving, like being inside of a giant ballroom but only using one table.

_Poomf_

Oh, yeah. That whole thing about my surroundings being a bit uncomfortable? Not exclusive to the emptiness of the room we were in. I also had to put up with all of my new pony friends trying to relax around me. It was pretty futile. They were all shaken up in some way, some having different reasons than others.

Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were all still shivering, the recent image of their princess zooming past them to get me probably still etched into their eyes. Twilight had the added stress of having her mentor in her castle, looking around at the blank halls and empty walls. Rainbow was trying to keep a neutral face on, but her panicked breathing and shakes betrayed her. Fluttershy looked like she wanted to zoom to me and make sure that nothing else could harm me, but the meeting with the princess kept her rooted.

Spike stood next to his sister (mother?) figure as they talked. I had almost forgot about him. Apparently, he had fallen asleep inside of a punch bowl after drinking its contents during the party. The problem was that it had been spiked. Ha. Anyway, he had been sleeping off the ill-effects of the punch since last night.

Applejack was understandably upset about the whole thing; she had missed all of the action and was absent for my potential capture by Celestia. She had gone off to check the side of town opposite Dash, but had only been notified of the events after they had happened. She had seen Dash flying around, but couldn't run fast enough to reach us before it was over. She was currently sulking a ways off against a wall, scuffing her hoof on the ground irritably. I hated to see her beating herself up so badly over something she couldn't control. She did her best, but had just been in the wrong place at the time.

Lyra, Bon-Bon and...uh...Prime, I think, were with the others, conversing with Princess Celestia. Probably about the whole incident that had taken place with Time Warner. Prime looked absolutely devastated. I could see his trembling from where I was sitting...all the way across the room. I hadn't talked to him directly, but I heard whispers. And boy, did they make me feel like shit. Prime was Time Warner's younger brother, and had been acting as his mediator for...hell, probably years now. So I had watched a pony learn that his older brother was going to be put away for assault. Probably for the rest of his life. I could only imagine what Emily would be going through if I had been taken away from her forever.

Oh...right...

And that thought brought me back to the form that had caused the ' _Poomf_ ' sound on the couch next to me.

"...Ryan...?" I heard Sarah ask me quietly. Her voice was still as shaky as it had been when I got hug-molested by Princess Celestia. Celestia had decided to take everybody inside to talk after she noticed many ponies in Ponyville giving Sarah the stink-eye. Time had been taken away by the guards. Luckily, he had been in his shocked state and put up no resistance. So now, that just left the worst part of the situation...the talking.

"Yes, _Princess Luna?_ " I asked, trying to keep my voice from sounding too hostile. I wanted to let her know that she had fucked up, but I didn't want her to think I hated her. My response seemed to do what I wanted. She flinched and looked at me with teary eyes.

Nope, not looking. I knew that the second I saw her crying, I would forgive her and forget all about what she had done. Nothing would be learned. I had to do this...as much as I hated myself for it...

"Ryan...it's...it's Sarah..." she whined to me. I just nodded and kept looking straight forward. Sarah lowered her head and stared at the floor. All that could be heard now was the hushed conversation going on between the rest of the ponies, minus Applejack. I noticed AJ was watching us now with interest. Hey, personal business going on here. I lifted an eyebrow at the cowpony and she quickly averted her gaze, a blush on her face. Finally, after a minute or two, Sarah continued.

"I'm so sorry, Ryan..." she choked out. As soon as I heard this, I looked over at her blue pony form. As much as I wasn't really attracted to her real body, I still wanted to calm her down with the same forms of affection I had saved for her human self. Not right now...she needed this. Too many times, she had acted out of protective jealousy and I had let her. I guess this was the first time she had actually acted out against anybody...real...ugh, bad thoughts, go away.

"For what?" I asked, still keeping my voice soft but neutral. She needed to know for herself what was okay and what wasn't.

"At the hospital...I didn't know...I...I didn't mean to make you think that I had left you...it was just something I whispered to your storyteller to make her leave me alone...she...she used it in her story...Ryan, I would never leave you like that..." she sobbed. Oh, yeah. She was crying again. God damn my overpowered sympathy. I couldn't help but scoot a bit closer to her, just enough for our sides to touch. Instantly, I could feel her body heat. She was so warm...I missed her. I just wanted everything to go back to the way it was...with her in my arms, in our cabin, just living our lives...but I guess that was impossible, now. Sarah's gaze shot up to me, a look of relief making it that much more painful for me. I was just...wait, what?

That wasn't what I was expecting her to apologize for at all. I meant the whole turning-me-into-a-chick thing, along with threatening Twilight over something that I had done. But she...she hadn't left me, before? I mean, I guess that makes sense...she got all jealous about me kissing Twilight. I was angry because she had punished me for doing so after I thought she had left me. She thought we were still fine together, so of course she got mad. It wouldn't have been her if she didn't have a pissy fit. It made sense, but it was still not okay.

"Sarah..." I began. The look of joy on her face just raised my own spirits, regardless of whether I wanted them to or not. "That's not what I was talking about." She tilted her head at me and gave me quizzical look. Figure it out on your own, Bear.

"Erm...sorry for...um, not stopping Time Warner before he could attack you?" she guessed. That wasn't something she could have foreseen. Not her fault. I just shook my head and crossed my arms, leaning against her a bit more. Her large blue wing unfolded and wrapped around me, providing an amazingly comfortable blanket. I settled down for the stream of guesses that was probably going to take place.

"Sorry for not telling you that you weren't real?" was her next guess. Ouch, but wrong.

" _Pbbrt_ ," I raspberried at her.

"Sorry for setting off your tongue fetish?" she asked. I quickly threw a hand over her muzzle and looked around to make sure none of the other ponies had heard her. Nope, the others were still in their little chat over there, and Applejack...oh, fuck me. She was blushing and looking down, her face scrunched up adorably.

"Shh!" I hushed her, giving her a stern look. "Not out loud!" Sarah just gave me an apologetic smile and resumed her thinking. Damn it, Bear. Now I might have to worry about ponies licking me. If I was the super-celebrity I was told I was, I wouldn't doubt that some of these little cute equines had some...interesting thoughts about me at some point or another. Twilight's ' _collections_ ' were my Exhibit A. I had a sneaking suspicion that she had other ' _collections_ ' that she wasn't going to show me.

"Sorry for...going into your dreams?" she guessed again. This one made me stop and think. That honestly _did_ sound like something that should have been bothering me. But when my entire life before that day had been a dream anyway, what did it matter? So, no, that wasn't a correct answer, either. But she was getting closer. She bit her tongue for a moment before the answer smacked her in the face.

"I'm sorry for turning you into a female!" she shouted at me, proud that she had figured it out. I stared at the, my face going pale. The room was silent now. Oh, fuck my life. I clenched my eyes shut, not wanting to meet any gazes from the ponies that were now undoubtedly staring at us. Sarah had just shouted that she had feminized me at the top of her lungs, right in front of both her sister and the new friends I had made. I expected laughter, but after a few moments, that's not what I got.

"You did **what, now**?!" Applejack scolded, stomping over to the couch we were sitting at. I sensed the hostility immediately and stood up to intercept the fuming mare. Twilight had been the only one I told about the whole dream-gina thing. I should have known there was going to be trouble when the others got wind of what their princess had done to me. They were probably already upset over thinking Sarah had left me at the hospital, and this new detail would just drive their tensions further. Especially for Applejack, being the advocate for honesty that she was.

Sarah flinched and tried to press herself into the couch, away from Applejack. This was the thing I was surprised about. Sarah backing down during a fight? Who is this alicorn and what did she do to my Sarah? Besides turn her into a pony? Maybe...maybe Sarah was finally understanding that what she had done was wrong? Now that she knew I thought she had broken up with me...good girl, Bear. I think you got it. Now, just have to talk to her about threatening Twilight.

"Applejack, cool it. I got this. She didn't actually leave me at the hospital," I informed her. Her mouth fell and her eyes shot open. Behind me, I could hear Fluttershy gasp. What?

"Buh-but...we saw the show..." Applejack tried to counter. I just shook my head and sighed. Yes, you watched the show. I lived the damn thing. I thought the same thing, so I couldn't blame her. I could hear a few sets of hooves walking up behind me. I wonder who? Hmm...I'm guessing Fluttershy, Rarity and Twilight. I turned around to find out if I was right.

What the-?

When did Pinkie get here? Ugh, never mind...

I was kind of right. The correct answer was Pinkie, Fluttershy and Rarity. Twilight was surprisingly back near her mentor, giving Sarah a look of apprehension. Oh, maybe that was why. The whole ' _gender-bend you in your sleep if you get close to my boyfriend_ ' thing. She was scared of Sarah. That was the next thing on my list.

"Yeah, I was _in_ the show. I thought so, too. But Sarah just told me that my storyteller made it so I thought that," I explained. Lyra visibly recoiled when I said that. _Ooh,_ yeah, probably shouldn't talk about that in front of the others. Sarah might have seemingly broken up with me in the show, but since Lyra was my storyteller, she technically killed me. The others didn't seem to know that it was her, so I didn't want to spill the beans and possibly send Lyra to the gallows or something. I would have to talk to her privately about everything.

"But-" Applejack tried to continue, but I cut her off.

"AJ, seriously. I got this." She looked into my eyes for a few seconds. Was she testing my honesty or something? Rude. Finally, after a few moments, she sighed and nodded her head. Without another word, she walked over to join her friends. At least she wasn't secluding herself against the wall anymore. That shit was just depressing. I turned and sat myself down next to my girlfriend. She was still frozen, her back pressed against the amazing couch.

"That was right, Bear. A bit softer, next time, though," I chuckled to her. To be honest, I wasn't feeling much like laughing, but it was what I was used to doing in tense situations. I hated having to sit through talks like this...again, I just wanted to stick my fingers in my ears and wait until everybody cheered back up. But since I was the subject of the stress, I couldn't just hide away. Sarah looked up at me. She didn't smile, but I could tell she was relieved. Her body lost some of its stiffness and she didn't look like she was about to chew her tongue off anymore.

"I...probably shouldn't have done that...especially since...you thought..." she stuttered in her whispered voice. She looked to be on the verge of tears again as the gravity of what I had been put through fell upon her. Nope, you had your cry. No more. I quickly wrapped my arms around her and pulled her body against mine, drawing a surprised yelp from the princess. That surprise quickly became happiness as she snuggled herself into my side. Whoa, was she trying to blend our bodies together? This was some next-level snuggling, right here. Not that I was complaining. She was warm and I needed the affection. As much as I wanted to just cuddle and forget about the rest of my situation, I remembered that I still had that one issue to talk to her about.

"So...Twilight told me about the 'making sure I stayed asleep' thing," I said calmly, not wanting to freak her out too much. Fat lot of good that did. Her body froze again and she took in a deep breath. I sighed and ran my fingers through her weird water mane thing. When she realized that I wasn't scolding her, she relaxed a little and cleared her throat.

"O-oh?" she managed to say. I just rolled my eyes and blew into her ear. It flopped back and forth as she let out a few involuntary giggles. Whoa, that was super-effective. I guess pony ears were more sensitive inside than human ears. I would have to store that in my arsenal of ways to tease Sarah.

"M-hmm. Sarah, I know you like to watch out for me and all, but I don't want you threatening others over stuff like this. Twilight was just trying to help, and that threat scared her. Look, she's not even looking over here. When the others came over, she didn't," I told her. She got this adorable thoughtful expression as she took it what I was telling her.

"But...you're mine! Why should I let her get kisses from you?" she asked. She didn't sound accusatory at all; she was genuinely confused about my logic. Hm. Thousands of years old, princess alicorn. She was _probably_ used to getting her way. Not on my watch, sweetie. Not that I was wearing a watch...

"That's not the point, Sarah. She's my friend and you scared her over something stupid. Just...calm down in the future, alright? If you have a problem, talk to me about it," I said. Sarah looked like she wanted to say something else, but the finality of my gaze made her change her mind. She nodded and gave me a weak smile, her wings wrapping around me once again.

"And no more man-ginas. My dick stays." She jumped at this before quickly nodding. Good girl. She had taken this whole conversation...a bit better than I was expecting. I thought she would have argued more about the kissing thing, or maybe she would have said that her punishment was just. Then again, I didn't know that she thought I thought that we had been together the whole time. Details like that can change the outcome of entire conversations.

To reward her for her relative maturity, I leaned to the side and gave her a quick kiss on her muzzle. She blinked and tilted her head up, staring into my eyes. For what seemed like minutes, we just stared at each other. I was once again lost in the endless depth of her teal eyes. It almost felt like I we were just floating through the cosmos together, building our own constellations. My dream was interrupted by her eyelids. They had closed halfway and she was moving slowly closer. What was she-?

Oh. She was going to kiss me.

With her pony mouth. Um...not sure about this...was this okay? I mean, it's Sarah. We had been kissing for two years now. And worse. Why would this bother me? Pony body...pony mouth, pony _tongue_. And what a tongue it was...dammit, that's not the point. Gotta clear my head, I need to think! She was getting closer and closer now, and...you know what, fuck it.

_Mmmwah~_

It wasn't actually bad. Not really all that different, except for the rest of her face being farther away than I was used to. But that honestly made it easier. I didn't have to tilt to the side to avoid bumping our heads together. It wasn't a deep kiss. Just a simple smooch, but it meant a lot to me. I was here, with Sarah. The one thing that rooted me to my past life. She was here, with me, and she still loved me. My death hadn't pushed her away from me.

As I started to pull away, I felt the tip of her tongue graze my lips for a moment. I shivered violently at the feeling and my eyes shot open. H-holy hell...that tongue of hers...Oi. Not fair. She was giving me this really seductive look that was way too tempting for that equine face of hers. _Noooooope_. Kissing was enough. If she wanted _that_ kind of attention, she was going to have to wait and use her human form in my dreams.

" _Awwwww!~_ " I heard a certain pink mare gush from a few feet away. Somehow, without us noticing, Pinkie had sneaked over to our couch and watched us having our intimate moment.

Oh, shit. The others were all looking at us, as well. Each pony had a different look on his or her face. Fluttershy was smiling gently and looked like she was finally relaxed. Applejack was still blushing and scrunching her face up. Rainbow Dash was making a gagging motion, but her body again betrayed her with a blush. Lyra and Bon-Bon were watching me in shock, some horror emanating from the former. Prime was lifting a brow, but his eyes looked...dead. Twilight and Rarity looked...wait, why did they look sad? Rarity had more of pouty face, but Twilight...she looked absolutely heartbroken. Why? Because we were kissing? Did Twilight...no, she couldn't. At least, I sure hope she didn't. That was the last thing I needed now...multiple colorful mares trying to get me. One was enough for me to handle on top of everything else right now, thank you very much.

And Princess Celestia looked...glad? Huh. I would have thought that seeing some magical bomb that her pupil spat out smooching up her younger sister would have caused her at least some slight discomfort. But nope, she just nodded her head a couple times and smiled. What an odd world I now live in.

I turned my gaze back to Sarah in time to catch her scrunching just like Applejack, her face the darkest shade of red ever. _Pfft, ha_. You instigated this, sweetheart. If you didn't want your sister and my friends to see us, then why go on the affectionate offensive? Of course they would be watching. Most of them were distrusting Sarah because of what they thought she had done to me at the hospital. Now, at least they knew the truth.

Truth...I had some things I wanted to know as well.

Like what was with that face welt?

"So what happened to your face?" I asked Sarah quietly. She shook herself from her flustered state and looked at me. She had guilty eyes. Oh, boy. What did you do now, Bear?

"My sister saw the latest episode," she said softly. I just tilted my head at her. So what if she saw it? So had every other pony, it seemed. She saw my confusion and elaborated further. "She saw the scene when you thought I had left you...she thought I did, too. I was as surprised as her, but she still managed to get a hit in on me before I could explain." Oh, okay. That makes sense. Sister squabbles.

"Dang, that's still a bit harsh. I never got that rough with Emily..." I pondered aloud. Sarah just smiled weakly at me and snuggled herself against me more. The ponies around the room had gone back to their conversation, all except for Twilight. She was still giving me that same pleading puppy face that was tearing at my heart. What the hell did she want me to do?

"Oh, that's far from the worst our fights have gotten," Sarah whispered. I don't think she meant to say that to me, judging by how fast her hoof shot up to cover her muzzle. I just watched her, unsure of what had triggered such a response. She didn't look like she wanted to talk more about it, so I didn't press her to. She had made a lot of progress today. She deserved a break from the drama.

I decided to just sit there and snuggle with her, my gaze locked onto her mane. I could very clearly see stars moving around and forming different constellations right in front of me. When I could take the curiosity no longer, I lifted a hand to her mane and dragged my finger through it, trying to draw with the stars. To my giddy surprise, the stars followed my finger around and remained wherever I moved them to. Holy shit, this was amazing. I could draw with stars in my girlfriend's hair. Being Ryan Burbank, this meant that I was obliged to draw exactly what my male mind demanded.

I drew a dick in her mane.

The lines forming the new phallic constellation connected in just the way I wanted them to. It took all of my willpower not to burst out laughing at the sight of my ancient alicorn partner and her new schlong. My first thought was to call the others over to show them, but I came up with a better idea. I would just leave it there until one of the others noticed. I knew that the only one that would say anything would probably be Celestia, so the rest would be left to sit uncomfortably with us. And the award for the most hilarious mad genius goes tooo~

Me.

Luckily, Sarah didn't notice what I had done. She thought I was just petting her, apparently. Every once in awhile, she would let out a content sigh that would top the last sigh in terms of adorableness. I didn't want her to wonder why I stopped, so I took up the rest of our waiting time by going around the rest of her mane, repeating the penises in all different shapes and sizes. Within ten minutes, she had a cape of dicks flowing around her head. I _really_ wished I had a camera. This moment deserved to be immortalized forever. The Almighty Sarah, Princess of Cock-n-Balls. I had to chew on my tongue to keep myself from giggling. Sarah just made little noises that I guessed was the pony form of purring.

Eventually, our couch session was interrupted by Princess Celestia. She walked over, now visibly more upset than she had been before. Oh, shit. I hope she didn't change her mind about destroying my ass...I needed it.

"Ryan, I was informed about the list of crimes that Time Warner has committed. I just wanted to check your side of the story to make sure I get every detail," she explained. Her voice was calm, but her clenched teeth let me know that she was seething inside. At least that anger wasn't directed at me.

"Okay...so..." I insinuated, not sure where to start. Princess Celestia got the hint and cleared her throat.

"The first incident took place at the Carousel Boutique, is this correct?" I nodded. "Time Warner tried to claim ownership over you, but was pushed back by Rainbow Dash and Applejack. When he attempted to attack Twilight, you then jumped in front of her and took the blast. Is this also correct?"

I shivered a bit as the scene replayed in my mind. In hindsight...I was pretty stupid. I'm sure Twilight and her friends could have handled him without the bomb they were trying to protect running around and shoving its fuse in the fire. I swallowed nervously before nodding. Princess Celestia flinched when I did. Oh, fuck me. Yeah, she knew it was stupid.

"As thankfully as I am for wanting to protect my ponies, I will have to ask you to act with more thought in the future. If my understanding of the situation is correct, then that blast very well could have set you off and killed every pony in Ponyville. Maybe even more," she explained stoically. Those words coming out of one of the rulers of the land made me feel like that much more of a jackass. It felt like she was resorting to using her political power to keep my dumb ass in line. She was right, though. I needed to think more about situations before I just jumped into them. But...I don't know, it was like seeing my loved ones in trouble just flicked a switch or something.

"I understand...and sorry about the jumping thing, too. And the running. Same rules?" I asked, trying to get the rest of my dumb decisions out of the way. Celestia nodded once and continued. At least we didn't have to go through the same questions about the other times I used my magic to almost kill myself and those around me.

"Yes, so the next incident was when you picked up Time Warner and he started filling you with magic. Correct?" Another nod. "Then you had a magical backcharge and accidentally sent him flying through the wall." All correct so far. "Was that all that took place inside the boutique?"

"M-hmm. Next thing that happened was outside," I explained. The white alicorn nodded again, seemingly checking the facts in her head. I could almost see a bit of Twilight in her, except Celestia didn't need a physical list there with her. Mental checklist for the win.

"There is a bit of a gap in information concerning the beginning of the next event, as none of the others were there to witness it. How did you come to engage Time Warner?" Celestia asked. I was really glad her voice was calm. It made it feel a little bit less of an interrogation and kept me from shitting myself in fear.

"Okay...so...hmm, I think we all saw Rainbow up in the air, signalling to the others that she had found Time. Rarity, Twilight and Fluttershy took off to help her. I tried to follow, but the whole 'magic leaking' bullsh-...uh, stuff happened when I ran any more than a moderate jog. I talked to a few ponies in town for a bit, but stopped when I saw Time trying to run. He was shooting lightning at Dash and the guards and...I don't know, I just kinda lost it. He nicked one of her wings," I said grimly. Across the room, I could see Rainbow Dash give me a quizzical look before unfolding her wings and examining them. Her eyes widened a bit when she noticed the scorched tip on her wing. A spell like that could have seriously injured her if it had hit more than just the tip.

Princess Celestia had turned her head to look at Dash. When she spotted the almost-injury, a small smile spread across her lips. I had no idea what was running through her head at the time, so I chose not to take my chances and just remained quiet. Celestia then turned back to look into my eyes. Her gaze was just as deep as her sister's, with even more experience behind it. The only difference was...well, Sarah's had a lust behind hers. I would have been really disturbed if Celestia had looked at me the same way that Sarah always did.

"I see. So your sprint and jump was not just an urge to fight the one that attacked you. It was a protective response?" she asked, but I didn't think I had to answer. Still, I gave her a small, nervous nod. "Again, I am glad that you feel so strongly towards Twilight and her friends. And so soon after going through one of the most painful experiences imaginable. Still, please be more careful," she pleaded. I smiled a bit and nodded.

"Okay, Princess. I'll try my best. But what...what if I start to go off again and I can't control it?" I was dreading the answer to this. It was something I didn't want to think about much; the absolute worst-case scenario in which I do explode. Princess Celestia's gaze softened into one of sympathy.

"I have already discussed this with your friends. I'm going to have them watch over you. Since Twilight is the only one that knows how to stabilize you quickly, besides Luna and myself, you will stay with her for awhile. The others will be around to help you settle in. Once everything around here calms down, I'll send for you to come up to Canterlot with Luna. We need to work on finding you a way to stay here without the risk of detonating," she told me, her smile growing wider. Throughout her speech, I had been growing my own wide smile. She wasn't going to boot me from existence! I could stay here with my friends...I...I...

"I love you," I stated blankly, my face devoid of emotion. Behind the scenes, my emotions were battling each other to the death for the chance to show themselves. They were all at a stalemate. I didn't know what to feel. Joy, relief, excitement, and a bit of sadness. The sadness came with the finality of knowing that I wasn't going to just wake up in my bed at home. I was presented a problem, a life changing dilemma, and I was taking the steps necessary to move forward. And I had all my friends here with me to help me through it...and Sarah, too!

The ponies were all giggling now at my random statement, except for Sarah. She was puffing her cheeks a little, looking between her sister and me. I gave her an exasperated look and she deflated immediately. Seriously, already getting jealous? And puffing her cheeks at her own sister? Rude.

"Hey, what about Time Warner? What's going to happen to him?" I inquired. Celestia's eyes narrowed, but somehow I could tell her anger was once again directed not at me.

"I will ' _take care_ ' of his arrangements. He could have killed a number of my ponies, including all of you. He will not be getting off lightly," she declared. Behind her, Prime looked like he was about to throw up. He was swaying from side to side, the only thing keeping him up being the mares on either side of him. I gave him a pitying glance before looking back up to the large alicorn.

"Um...I know he attacked us and all...but could you get him some help instead of locking him away forever? When I saw him, he honestly looked more insane than anything. I think he has some mental issues that need tending to..." I asked softly. Prime's eyes shot wide open, a new spark of hope gleaming in them. Sarah pushed me against the side of the couch, glaring into my eyes.

"Ryan, what are you talking about? He tried to kill you!" she growled. I should have anticipated her not agreeing with me. With as protective as she was, she didn't take the news about Time too well. She almost went after him before the guards could take him away. Luckily, we got her inside Twilight's castle and managed to calm her down. It seemed my request for mercy just brought up her hostile intentions once again. Oops?

"Okay. I will do what I can," Princess Celestia stated suddenly. The room went quiet. Had we all just heard her correctly? Judging from the bewildered looks that every pony and dragon in the room wore, I hadn't been hearing things. She had agreed to take it easy on him and help him...after he had threatened to kill Twilight. Her former student and current Princess of Friendship. She...was just okay with that? Sarah sure wasn't.

"Tia, what are you doing?! He's dangerous! He needs Tartarus, not pity!" she yelled at her sister. At some point between staring and yelling, she had got up on all fours on the couch, now taller than her sister. The only problem was that she was standing on my chest with one of her legs. _Oo_ f. I didn't want to ask her to get off and risk having her direct her frustrations at me. Just let Celestia handle it, she'd known her for much longer. Celestia just gave her sister a knowing smile and raised a hoof. Rude?

"I'm aware sister. But if Ryan says that Time deserves another chance, then what makes him any different than the other troublemakers that have been reformed?" she asked. Sarah didn't respond to this. She just looked down, in deep thought. The other ponies were also considering this new point. Prime, on the other hand, was doing a happy dance where he sat. It was pretty darn cute.

"That is...ugh, fine," pouted Sarah above me. I felt that the tension had died down enough now to tap her leg. She looked down and gave me a questioning look. All I had to do was point to the hoof on my chest for her to remove it quickly. She smiled sheepishly and looked away, a small blush forming. Celestia just smiled and stood up straighter.

"I'm afraid I have to return to Canterlot now. I have been away for far too long as it is. Luna, please return sometime tonight," she teased subtly, giving Sarah a playful wink. The mare above me just blinked, trying to sort out what had been said. She didn't get it.

Before she could turn to say her goodbyes to the other ponies, Celestia's eyes caught sight of the many dicks drawn in Sarah's mane. Her eyes widened a bit, and she let out a barely contained snort of laughter. Sarah had been too busy trying to work out what had been said to pay attention, but I had caught it. We shared a knowing look for a moment. Celestia's lips curled a tiny bit, but otherwise, her poker-face was amazing. I was certain that if I had seen some guy draw dicks in Emily's hair...well, I probably would have hospitalized him with the asparagus story, but I still would have gotten a laugh out of it.

Princess Celestia said her goodbyes to Twilight and the rest of the ponies before heading out. It was only a few hours past noon and already so much had happened. I wanted to be tired, but my body was still pumped up from all of the magic I had used. Damn it, me, stop being such a dick. Regardless of my body's current hyperactive energy, I did my best to snuggle the shit out of Sarah. She accepted the terms of my cuddles and returned them with her own.

The room went uncomfortably quiet after that. Prime was still doing his little dance, which seemed to be amusing or uplifting to the rest of the ponies in the room. Even Luna managed a quick giggle at his antics. I didn't know whether or not she knew why he was so happy.

"Sooo...want to play a game?" I asked out loud. It was quite a shot in the dark, honestly. The mood was pretty out of the realm of playing much of anything right now. But apparently, my proposal hit a nerve with Twilight. Her eyes went all starry like she had just met me for the first time again. What was her deal?

"Omigosh! W-we have to play some games from _OtherWorld_!" she exclaimed. Games from _OtherWorld_? So, what, like Earth games? That actually sounded pretty nice. Some familiar territory and something I actually might have a chance at winning, depending on the game. The rest of my friends were looking around, unsure of themselves. Lyra and Bon-Bon looked pretty damn anxious, but they stayed close to Prime. He seemed to need the support. Despite his current joy, I knew that look. He was still one fuse away from another breakdown. His brother was still going to be going away. Probably for a long time. Maybe a game would help take his mind off of things? I knew I could use one. Or maybe ten.

"Uh, sure. Whatcha got?" I dared to ask the excited purple princess.

_Squee!~_

...Where the fuck does that keep coming from? Oh, Twilight blew up. Huh. Wait, now she's back. Guess she was teleporting. Damn, I wish I could do th-...I'm made of Twilight's magic. Maybe I could teleport! Experiments for when I'm not around any of the ponies. The thought of being able to teleport made me a giddy as Twilight was.

With a little dance, Twilight dumped a bunch of boxes onto the floor in front of the couch I was sitting on. I could feel Sarah getting a bit tense from having Twilight so close, but a quick squeeze made her relax. I looked down and nearly yelped.

She had just dumped a multitude of long, thin rectangle boxes. They were all Earth board games! _Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Monopoly, Risk, Othello, Battleship, Bejeweled, Clue_...she had it all. And they all had the same logo at the top right corner, which I assumed was the trademark for the show I had starred in. I even saw some sort of trivia game. Something along the lines of ' _So You Think You Know OtherWorld?_ ' Lame title, but the idea of having a trivia game based on me was kind of fascinating.

Oh my god. She had _Apples to Apples_. I was so going to play that. Ha, I could only imagine if she had...

...she had it. Why in the fuck did they actually reproduce _Cards Against Humanity_ for ponies?! I was not going to put my friends through something like that. They were just too innocent. Luckily enough, it was still wrapped in its plastic. Good, Twilight had not actually looked into it. Just going to hide that behind me for now. Yep, nothing going on, just shifting a little~ and it's gone. Whew.

The rest of Twilight's circle had walked over to join us in sorting through the games. Pinkie Pie was immediately dead-set on _Candy Land_. Both Spike and Rarity started whining to play _Bejeweled_. Dash was holding _Battleship_ in front of her, looking at the back of the box. Fluttershy didn't interact with any of the boxes, but I couldn't really see her playing much else other than _Othello_. I bet that Applejack would rock at _Clue_ , with her near mind-reader levels of perception. Sarah didn't get off the couch to look with us, but when I turned to watch her, she had been eyeing _Risk_.

But there was no way I was going to play _Monopoly_ against Twilight. No way in hell. I sucked normally, I didn't need to be shown my place by the smartest of all booksmarts. Before any arguing could go on, I tried to vouch for some form of compromise.

"Hey, how about this?" I asked, lifting up ' _So You Think You Know OtherWorld?_ '. The other ponies looked around at each other, all shrugging. Except for Twilight. She looked _waaay_ too determined now. A chance to go up against the subjects of her favorite show about trivia regarding the fictional planet I belonged to. This must have been every holiday rolled up into one for her.

Even Prime had wondered over and latched onto _Candy Land_ with Pinkie. Lyra and Bon-Bon were slow to follow, but they must have realized that not following would have looked suspicious for them. I wanted to cheer the poor younger brother up in any way I could.

"I think _Candy Land_ has two votes. Anyone have a problem with playing that, first? It's only up to four players, though. The rest would have to watch or play something else," I spoke up. Pinkie Pie looked like she was about to burst into song and dance right then and there. Prime gave a happy smile, but didn't express his emotions in any other way. Poor guy. The rest of the ponies nodded in understanding and pushed the rest of the board games away from our circle. We would have to play on the floor in here, since the only piece of furniture was a couch. A couch that had been taken up all the way by Sarah the moment I got up.

It was decided that I would be playing against Pinkie, Prime and Twilight. I had at first wanted the players to be all ponies, but I was quickly volunteered by the others. Twilight looked happy just to be playing with me. Pinkie always looked happy, and Prime...he looked a bit better. His posture was a bit more relaxed and his eyes weren't as dead as they had been. I was really glad I had vouched for Time Warner. Helping him benefited more ponies than I knew.

So, as it went, I ended up with the green game piece. Pinkie was red, Prime was blue, and Twilight was yellow. We all placed our pieces at the start of the path and began. I was again volunteered against my will. This time it was for who was to go first. Shakily, I lowered my hand and gripped the top card of the deck.

A bead of sweat rolled down my cheek. None of the ponies in the room dared breathe as I drew my fate. Very slowly, I lifted the card up to my face. I could feel my heart beating in my ears. This was it. The first turn. Whatever happened beyond this point was entirely up to the cards. With a deep breath, I spun the card around and looked at the colored square painted on the other side.

****

I forgot about how much I fucking hated Plumpy. That fat green shit had the nerve to show his ugly-ass face to me right when I was a few squares away from sweet victory. After all that effort, I had been sent back to the very beginning of the path. The crowd surrounding the four of us all made sympathetic hissing sounds through their teeth.

"Oooh..." I heard Bon-Bon say under her breath. Pity wasn't going to take back the turn that had Royally screwed me. I was done. Finished. There was absolutely no way I could-

Yeah, Prime won. God damn it. Behind me, I could hear Sarah cracking up. Oh, yeah, laugh it up, chuckles. She just lost her dream oral privileges. Even in her human form. She was going to stay dry as I was. _Mwahaha_.

Pinkie Pie took her loss really well, and gave Prime a bunch of congratulatory back pats. He just smiled and blushed shyly, rubbing the back of his head with his hoof. At least _he_ won. He probably needed the uplift more than any of us. Even me. Twilight pouted a bit at her loss, but I think the pain was lessened by the complete randomness of the game. She wasn't outsmarted, Prime was just luckier than the rest of us.

The rest of the ponies were having fun watching us. Except for Lyra. She had been staying quiet the whole time. In fact, I don't think I remembered her speaking at all when I was around her. She stole little nervous glances at me every so often, which I pretended not to notice. Yeah, we needed to talk sometime tonight. Without the others around. I think she was worried about them recognizing her voice from the show. She did voice my mom, after all. I'm sure she wasn't just a small character. I just played along, waiting for a good moment to get her alone to discuss what we needed to.

Unfortunately, that moment didn't arrive anytime soon. After we put our mess away from the first game, we moved onto the next one. Ooh, yeah. ' _So You Think You Know OtherWorld_?' This was going to be interesting. Better yet, this was a game for as many players as you wanted. So naturally, all of the ponies tried to join. Lyra seemed to be unwilling, but again, not playing would draw attention to her.

"Um...Princess Luna..." spoke Fluttershy shyly. Sarah looked around at the yellow mare and tilted her head.

"Yes?" she responded. Fluttershy just scuffed her hoof on the ground for a few moments before continuing.

"Well, uh...if you're Sarah, then...do you think it's fair to play?" she asked, her voice shrinking more and more. Way too cute. Before Sarah could stop me, I swooped down and scooped up the surprised yellow mare into my arms.

"R-Ryan!" Sarah exclaimed. Oh, yeah. She was super flustered. This would be a good chance to get her to practice getting over her jealousy. In my arms, Fluttershy barely moved a muscle. I don't know if I had scared her or not, but she wasn't tense. Maybe she was just enjoying the attention.

"Flutters is right, Bear. I think both of us should sit this one out. Maybe we could...hm, be card readers or something. Hey Twilight, how does this game work?" I asked, turning my head to the purple alicorn. She blinked for a moment, caught off guard by my sudden question. She regained herself quickly and read the back of the game box to herself.

"Hm, let's see...okay, it looks like at the beginning of every round, the player whose turn it is picks a trivia card from one of five decks. Each deck is a different category...there's history trivia, music trivia, show trivia, character trivia and...Ryan trivia," she explained, a small smirk forming on her face. That just confused me. Ryan trivia? Wasn't there already a character category? Why did I get my own? It didn't make much sense, but whatever. Twilight continued on. "So the player picks a card and gives it to the scorekeeper to read out loud for the entire group to hear. Each player then writes down his or her answer on the erase boards provided. Then an assigned answer reader collects the boards and reads each answer out loud. If the player whose turn it was gets the answer right, then they get two points. If they get it wrong, they lose two points. However, the player can also choose to not answer, in which case no points will be added or removed. The other players can also earn or lose a single point, depending on their answer. The first player to fifty points wins. Be sure to write the names down on each board so that they don't get misplaced. Okay, that sounds easy enough. We'll just need somepony to read the answers and keep score. Ryan, would you mind doing that if you're not going to be playing?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, that sounds good. Sarah, could you keep score? You were always better with numbers," I said happily, letting Fluttershy down to join the others. She was shaking a little bit, but I think that might have been from the malicious glare that Sarah had been burning into the back of her head. Damn it, Bear. Sarah looked at me, still sulking slightly. I guess she really wanted to play a game that she would have a massive advantage with. Finally, she relented and nodded.

"Fine. I shall keep the score, and you will read the answers. What will be the prize?" she asked. Why did she care? She wasn't even playing. And this really didn't seem like the kind of game to have a prize at the end, anyway. Maybe bragging rights. Pinkie Pie jumped into my vision and nearly gave me a heart attack.

"Ooh! I know! The winner gets to be the _'Super Earth Expert!'_ " she yelled into my fucking face. Seriously, her tendency of breaking into my personal space was starting to unnerve me. Eh, I guess I could stand it for now. I was still happy that she was still safe and uninjured after the jumping event. If I had hurt her, I...I don't even know...

_Shiver_

Twilight seemed to love the idea of winning the right to be called an expert in something. Her face grew into an oddly creepy image of fierce determination and confidence. The other ponies...and Spike...all looked at her in worry. Yeah, they knew who they were going up against. They knew that they probably didn't stand a chance against Purple. But it would still be fun to play, right?

"Alright, then, let's get started!" Twilight exclaimed, her magic opening the box and setting up the play area in a matter of seconds. Man, that looked useful. I hope I could someday use magic like her. Just have to get it to stop almost exploding every time I strain myself. At least now, I was starting to take the proper steps to solving that issue. With Princess Celestia, Twilight and Sarah on the case, I really couldn't be in any better hands...hooves...what the fuck ever, I want to see the game.

Dry erase boards were passed around to everybody in the room, Sarah and myself included. Sarah to keep track of the scores, and I jsut wanted to draw things. Speaking of which, none of the others had noticed Sarah's dickmane yet. Pfft, this was going to be absolutely epic. I just hope she didn't try doing anything to me in my sleep again after this. I already got punished, right? I should be good.

Twilight was the first to go. She was squirming around in her place on the floor, clearly excited beyond all reason. The others looked around at each other, silently resigning to their fate of being beaten down by the newest princess. A purple glow surrounded one of the history cards. The card was quickly lifted towards me so that I could read it.

" _In what year did Ryan's country, the United States of America, become its own nation?_ " I read loudly so that everybody could hear me. Oh, boy. How would they know something like that? If my understanding of the show was correct, then I had only been watched for about four years now. That was high school. We learned around the founding of the US in...what, third grade? Sooner? I didn't really remember.

To my surprise, all of the ponies started scribbling their answers down on their boards. Even Lyra and Bon-Bon were participating with a look of slight thrill on their faces. Prime was happily writing his answer down, oblivious to those around him. I could see Pinkie holding the marker firmly between her teeth. Oh, that was kind of gross. I hope I don't accidentally use that sometime. Looking around, I could see that a bunch of the others were doing the same thing. Well, actually, only those that didn't have a horn. Spike was holding the marker in a matter very similar to how I would, but wasn't writing anything. Neat.

Sarah sat next to me, floating the marker in circles in apparent boredom. I was just still pretty amazed that Sarah could do magic. I mean, I could too, but I was dangerous about it. This whole time, she could do magic and shit. My girlfriend was one of the most powerful beings in existence. That...was kind of hot.

The clatter of the last overturned dry-erase board let me know that they were all done. I quickly reached out, grabbing the boards within my grasp. The last two boards, belonging to Lyra and Prime, were a bit too far away. I was going to get up to get them, but Twilight floated them over to me gently. I gave her a small smile and a nod, which she returned.

"Okay, let's see..." I said to myself as I looked down at the stack of boards. Time to read some possibly hilarious answers!

"Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight, Prime, Lyra and Bon-Bon all guessed the year seventeen-seventy-six. Rainbow Dash guessed seventeen-eighty-eight. Applejack and Spike didn't answer. And Pinkie Pie...drew a balloon," I said, turning my attention to the madly giggling pink mare. The others gave her a look of exasperation. "Does that count as a guess, Twilight?"

"Um...nothing about drawings in the rules...uh, I'd say no. Just please answer or don't next round, Pinkie," she told her friend. Once Pinkie had her giggle fit subside, she nodded and settled back down. I could already tell that this was going to get way out of hand.

"Anyway, the correct answer was seventeen-seventy-six," I stated after looking at the bottom of the card for the answer. Not that I needed to, though. Rainbow Dash threw her legs up in frustration and grunted. The others looked happy, even those who didn't answer. It was better to not answer than to risk losing points. This felt just like the SAT's back home. Sarah spoke up next to me, her scoreboard lifting up for all the see.

"That means that Twilight Sparkle earned two points, while Fluttershy, Rarity, Prime Warner, Bon-Bon and Lyra Heartstrings earned one point each. Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Spike did not earn or lose any points, and Rainbow Dash lost one point. Since she has no points to lose, her score remains the same," Sarah declared. Rainbow Dash looked up happily at this news. So I guess the first round was safe to make guesses in. This also meant that Applejack and Spike could have possibly guessed and gotten a point, without worrying about starting off in the negative. Judging by the sounds of them hitting their foreheads, they realized this as well. Heh.

I passed all of the boards back out and watched as everybody erased their answers.

Next up was Fluttershy. She took a few moments to think, before slowly reaching a hoof out and poking the ' _Ryan_ ' deck. Oh, this was going to be interesting. I reached out and grabbed the top card for her. This card made me a bit nervous. What would it be asking? It could be anything about me, honestly. I didn't really want to think about what these ponies possibly knew about me that I had forgotten myself. I took a deep breath and flipped the card over, reading it out loud.

" _What's Ryan's favorite brand of breakfast cereal?_ " I asked the group. Huh, that was oddly innocent. But...what _was_ my favorite cereal? I didn't know I had one. Honestly, I just ate whatever happened to be cheap when I went shopping. I liked some more than others, but I didn't think I had an actual favorite...

More scribbles all around. Even from Spike. Had he watched my show? He didn't seem to recognize me when we first met. If he wasn't a fan, then why was he even playing? The boards were all passed to me this time by Sarah's magic. Ah, not to be outdone by Twilight, I see. Any favor done for me by another mare was probably going to be echoed many times over by my girlfriend. So what was the answer that the cards provided? Well, let's see what answers I got, first.

"Twilight guessed Reese's Puffs. Rainbow Dash guessed...Reese's Puffs. Um, Fluttershy guessed...holy crap, these all say Reese's Puffs," I said in amazement, spreading the boards out in front of me to view them all at once. With a quick glance to the bottom of the card, written in tiny print, I could see ' _Reese's Puffs_ ' plainly written as the answer. That was my favorite? I mean, yeah, they were good, but I didn't know they were my favorite...

"How did you guys know that?" I asked curiously, still a bit shocked over my friends knowing more about me than I did. They all responded with some variation of 'You ate it all the time,' except for Spike and Lyra. Spike just tilted his head towards Twilight.

"She keeps buying the stuff and telling me that it's your favorite," he deadpanned. Twilight gave a nervous chuckle as the others gave her knowing smirks. Oh, that makes sense. With all the merchandise around here, I should have known that they would have made cereal boxes with me on the cover. How...I don't know the word to describe it. 'Invasive' was kinda close.

Sarah quickly announced the scores. Everybody had gotten one point, except for Fluttershy, who had received two points. Now Fluttershy and Twilight were both in first place at three points. At least the questions seemed innocent enough. I don't know if I could handle the trivia questions if they were anything close to _Cards Against Humanity_.

Rainbow Dash was next in line. She quickly bopped the 'Ryan' deck with her hoof, a proud and determined expression on her face. I complied with her choice and picked up the card.

" _What is Ryan's secret fetish?_ " I read aloud. I stopped, a choking feeling rising in my throat. The others in the room also got caught off guard, except for Applejack. She was pumping a hoof in triumph, quickly scribbling her answer down.


	12. S1E12: You Don't Know Me Pt.2

The only sound for several minutes was the quick scribbling of marker on dry-erase board. That faded out very shortly after as Applejack realized that she was the only one writing anything down. My eyes were still locked down onto the card. The eyes of every other pony were locked on me. I didn't want to believe that the card said what I had just announced. It couldn't be. Why would they use such a personal question in a trivia game? But there it was, listed clearly on the bottom in upside-down print: _Tongue fetish_. How many ponies had already played this game and knew the answer? What other dark secrets of mine were just common knowledge in this world? I didn't have any privacy. Everything about me was available to the public. And it wasn't even like they had to buy a book or anything to get the information...this was just a fucking trivia game.

I could feel myself start to get dizzy again. Very quickly, I pulled myself together and took a deep breath. I held it in for a few moments before letting the air out. Okay, I had to stop letting myself get destabilized so easily. The other events today were much more dire than a few invasive facts on a playing card. This should have been nothing. Super easy. Yeah...

...nothing at all.

_Sigh_

My attention was drawn to Sarah's magic aura as it wrapped itself around Applejack's board and flew it quickly over to her. She took one look at it before adopting an irritated expression and erasing what was written. The other ponies were quick to voice their objections. I was just surprised they were so quick to react after something so...horrifying. For me, anyway.

"HEY! That was mah answer!"

"We didn't even get to see it!"

"HEY!"

"Why, I never..."

"Isn't that...cheating...?"

"Why would you do that?"

I wasn't looking at the ponies, so I didn't catch who said what. The voices all sounded at once, so I couldn't pick out the sound of each pony. All I know is that the first voice was Applejack's. I was still staring at the card, the new implications running through my head. What if they knew the other stuff Sarah and I were into? Had they watched some of our time together? Our most private moments...viewed by hundred of thousands of ponies...maybe millions? I don't even know...

And it hadn't just been when I was with Sarah. What about that time that Dad almost died? His cancer kept coming back...man, that shit had our family stressed out for the better part of an entire year. The show had been going for...four years, I think. Dad's emergency was...three years ago.

They had watched us. Watched our family break down over and over.We kept getting our hopes up, just to have them beaten down again and again as new cancer spots appeared. All of that...was just the plot of a story. My entire life, every single hardship and moment of suffering, it was all the fault of...Lyra.

I looked over at the mint unicorn. She didn't see me looking at her at first, but her eyes locked onto mine after a few seconds. I didn't mean to look scary, but my face could have been expressing any emotion at that moment. I wasn't in control of it. Whatever I was doing, it scared the shit out of her. She quickly recoiled and tried to move behind Prime and Bon Bon. The sight of the cowering pony brought me back to my senses.

What was I doing? She looked guilty enough already. She probably thought I was going to kill her in the face or something. I had to control my emotions...and I didn't truly want to blame her. Sure, I had some hard times. That last one was quite the doozy. But honestly? My life had been fucking _amazing_. I had a close family, a loving girlfriend, a good home...I had been happy. I'm sure that my life had been better than others that had been real the whole time. _Pfft_ , that was obvious. This unicorn...she was basically my mother. Why would I hate my mother? Sure, I wanted to find out what the fuck was up with killing me and all, but I wouldn't hurt her. I wanted to thank her. For all of the good times I had. For all of the people I knew and loved. For everything. Except for aborting me.

"-is not any of your business!" I heard Sarah shout, finally breaking through to me. Whoa, I had been zoned out. Ugh, that was a bad one. I usually didn't tune everything out _that_ much. Usually, voices were enough to catch my attention. Was I to the point of needing to be screamed at? Perfect.

"But it's part of the game!" I heard Rainbow Dash complain. Whoa, she was actually fighting with Sarah. Wasn't she, like...one of their princesses? I would have been flattering that she was arguing over me, but...she was pretty much fighting for the right to learn what my secret fetish was. Damn, why did they care so much?

"It's personal information that nopony needs to know!" retorted Sarah. Sorry, guys, you're fighting against the most stubborn being in existence over the right to learn about my intimacy. Wait, what the-

What the hell? Something was tugging on the card I was holding. Something bright blue and magical...

Oh, dammit Rarity! Yeah, she was trying to act all nonchalant about it, too. Did she not know that I could see her horn glowing the same color as the cloud? She was gently trying to tug the playing card from my grip. In her attempt to remain unnoticed, she was staring at the others, obviously pretending to be unaware. Why did these crazy ponies want to see the answer so badly? I needed to get rid of this card. Just needed some fire or something...oh, wait.

"Sarah!" I shouted, grabbing the attention of my girlfriend. She looked over, her face still contorted in frustration.

"FIRE!" I yelled once more, tossing the card into the air in front of her. Luckily, she understood what I wanted and charged her horn, sending up a bolt of pure magic directly into the card.

_Fwoosh_

Woo, that was a nice shot. That must have been some really hot fire, seeing as nothing floated down afterwards. Not even ashes. And that fire was a lot more purple than I was used to...

Wait a minute. Twilight.

I looked over at her just in time to see her pushing something under the table, her eyes straining to view it. Oh, hell no! She must have teleported the card to her at the last second!

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit..." I whispered to myself. Sarah must have been looking to me for some sort of approval of her shot, because she quickly noticed my panicked staring. She turned her head over to Twilight, who was still reading something while trying to hide the fact that she had it. A look of angered realization flashed across Sarah's face. Before she could vocalize her fury, however, Twilight made an exclamation of her own.

"It's in _English_!" she grunted loudly. The occupants of the room all turned to her. She looked up, seemingly very much aware of how much she had just fucked up. Spike just buried his face into his hands and sighed. Despite the tension in the room, I let out a relieved breath. I forgot that she couldn't read English. But...why would they make the games in a writing style that was quite new to this world? Not only that, but how did she read the cover of the games to begin with? I pulled over the box for ' _So You Think You Know Otherworld?_ ' and looked at it.

It's just a box. English was written all over it! How did Twilight read the instructions befo-...huh? ' _Special Edition: English_ ' was plastered in small golden letters at the bottom of the box. But that wasn't what got my attention the most. The words on the cover that were in English...they were shimmering. Almost like a very subtle heat line that would cause a mirage. There was something barely visible underneath the English words.

Was that...another language?

No way, that must be whatever written language it is that the ponies use. It was...really weird to see. I could see how I hadn't noticed it before, though. The shimmering of the letters was very subtle. And the effect was absent on the cards. So that must mean...

"Magical translator..." I whispered to myself. The sounds of movement around faded into my consciousness. I hadn't even noticed that something had been going on. The box had snagged my attention and sent me stumbling into another daze. The scene that I saw when I looked up almost sent me into hysterics. It was something straight out of _The Benny Hill Show_. Twilight was being chased around the room by Sarah, with a crowd of ponies chasing those two around. Fluttershy, Spike, Applejack, Prime, Lyra and Bon Bon were still sitting down. With the exception of the smug-looking Applejack, they all looked extremely confused about what was going on. I felt the same way.

"Give that card to me!" Sarah yelled at the purple alicorn she was pursuing. Twilight had the card in her mouth, so she could only make adorable ' _Uh-uh!_ ' sounds. Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were running after Sarah and Twilight. Well, Pinkie was just sorta bouncing quickly, a gleeful expression on her face. It looked like she just wanted in on the fun game that the others were playing. _Aww_. Anyway, I had seen enough.

" **Guys!** " I shouted loud enough to get all of their attention. Twilight jumped in surprise and stumbled. Sarah couldn't slow down in time and plowed into her, sending them both to the ground, rolling. The pile was quickly joined by Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Pinkie looked like she was going to stop in time, but I realized too late that she was merely preparing to dive. With a quick spring of her back legs, she shot into the air and descending directly into the ponypile.

" _OOF!_ " I heard multiple female voices say at the same time. Pinkie's legs were wiggling around, the only only part of here visible from outside the mound. I could faintly hear her joyfully giggling.

"Guys, seriously. Quit it. How many of you can even read English?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and index finger.

"I can!" Sarah's muffled voice responded. Besides for her, none of the other ponies said a thing. Just as I thought. Of course Sarah would know how to read it; she had spent years in my world. Funny, I never saw her struggling with it. Maybe she had learned before she even met me? How long had she been around before she even met me? How-

...no, can't start dazing again. I had a mound of grabby ponies that needed a talking to.

"I know that, Bear. I was talking to the others," I calmly stated. I didn't hear her say anything else, so I assumed she understood. The rest of the ponies in the pile were trying to untangle themselves, sheepish looks on each of their faces. Well, Pinkie was just smiling happily. Can't say I was expecting anything else. I doubted she even wanted to look at the card. With the random bouts of reality-warping Pinkie seemed capable of, the feeling that she wasn't out to learn about me _that way_ was pretty calming.

Twilight, Dash and Rarity on the other hand...they were making me uncomfortable as hell.

"Sarah, could you take the others out of the room or something? I need to talk to Prime about some stuff," I requested suddenly. I was getting really annoyed at the constant insanity. The patience I had that I was using to wait for a good moment to talk to Lyra was gone, now. I just needed to make my own opportunity. At the same time, though, I still didn't want to incriminate Lyra by drawing too much attention to her. The others didn't know who I thought she was...well, except for maybe Sarah. I had noticed her giving the poor mint mare hostile glances for no reason every so often. So now, all I needed was an excuse. The first thing that popped into my head had been Prime Warner. The most recent event involved both of us, so it should have come to no surprise to the others that I would want to talk to him. Alone.

Sarah blinked at me and threw a suspicious glance at Lyra. The others, especially Twilight, gave me hurt looks. I got a feeling that they thought I was mad at them and didn't want to hang out with them anymore. It wasn't that I was mad...just tired of waiting. I pinched my nose again and responded to their looks of sadness, trying to nip their line of thinking in the bud.

"No, I'm not upset with you, I just have some things I need to go over with him," I explained, pointing over to Prime, Lyra and Bon Bon. They had stayed together for pretty much the entirety of the time so far. Lyra and Bon Bon were probably only here because Prime was here. And Prime was here because...I don't know, he probably didn't know what to do with himself. Even if it didn't make a lot of sense, it did give me a good excuse to talk to the three.

Prime had spent the conversation staring up at me in confusion and what looked to be a little bit of wonder. Maybe he was still a bit star-struck about meeting me? I know tons of other ponies were. But I had a feeling that it was mostly confusion. He probably had no idea that I actually wanted to talk to Lyra. Or maybe he did? I don't know. The three ponies were quite a mystery to me.

"But...this is my room!" I heard Twilight object. I looked over to the Princess of Friendship. She had puffed her cheeks up at me again, determined to stay here with me. The lapse of focus gave Sarah the chance to remove the playing card from Twilight's mouth, which she took. The card was very quickly torn to shreds, much to the disappointment of the surrounding ponies.

"H-hey!" Rainbow Dash complained. Rarity just pouted down at the pieces of ripped up card that floated gently to the floor. What, did she think that her powers of pouting would convince the pieces to reassemble? That's silly and adorable. I just wish that my kinks hadn't been the end prize in their little scuffle.

Sarah adopted a smug little grin as she pranced towards the door to the room.

"You all heard Ryan. He wishes to have some time to discuss things with Prime Warner. It would be rude of us to intrude. We will continue with a _different_ game after he's done," she stated. It wasn't what she said, but the way she said it that let everybody else know that it was more of a demand than a request. The others apparently didn't want to push their luck against the ancient princess any more than they already had. Twilight, Rainbow and Rarity trudged out of the room behind Sarah with Pinkie following merrily along. I could hear soft grumbling coming from the first three. Applejack, Fluttershy and Spike followed after them as well, although they were much more reserved and quiet about it. Before Sarah left all the way, she popped back into the doorway and gave me a look. She made the ' _I'm watching you_ ' sign with her hoof, but it didn't really work without fingers. She just looked like she was pointing to her face before pointing to mine. I just gave her a deadpan look. She groaned silently and turned back around to watch over my friends. Hopefully, with her out there with them, I wouldn't have to worry about any eavesdropping.

"Oh, and Applejack?" I called out to the peach-colored mare. She turned around, blushing as she met my gaze. Geez, was she that flustered from knowing my fetish? I gave her a serious look. "Don't tell them." She flinched at my demand, but nodded anyway. I guess she had been planning to blab. Now she would have to withhold information from her best friends, which is something I knew she hated. But she knew that it really wasn't her information to spread. It was my business, and nobody else's. Except maybe Sarah's. Applejack turned back around after her silent agreement and followed her friends.

Finally, it was just the three newer ponies and me. Lyra took quick notice of this and started panicking. She hid herself behind Bon Bon in a mess of scrambling hooves. Prime blinked and looked between us, trying to connect the pieces together.

"Did...you want me to leave, too? And...Sarah?" he asked quietly, still looking at Lyra with worry in his eyes. Wow, he was smarter than I thought. Even through his current emotional turmoil, he still managed to figure out that I didn't really need to talk to him and even had enough observation skills left to pick up on what I had been calling his princess. He figured it out just from context clues. I sighed and sat down next to them on the floor. The couch looked comfy, but it couldn't fit all of us. So it went unclaimed.

"Nah, you can stay if you want. And yeah...Sarah," I responded. In my peripheral vision, I could see Lyra still trying to scoot farther away from me. Poor Bon Bon was getting pulled back with her, despite her objections. Boy...I had a lot of talking to do. From what I knew, Prime was the co-owner of the company that ran my show, alongside Time Warner. So, I guess filling him in on some things could possibly help.

"So..." he began. "Why have you been calling Princess Luna Sarah? Was it...you got depressed about the hole in your heart that Sarah left you with at the hospital and latched onto the Princess to fill some of that gap?"

"Um...n-" I tried to correct him, but he continued on with his tangent.

"Or...maybe since she's a fan, she asked you to call her that in order to fulfill some kind of fantasy she's had?" Prime added.

"That's not-" I got cut off. Again.

"But what if her name was actually Sarah all this time? And you're the only one she'll allow to call her-"

"Prime!" I interrupted him. He flinched and looked around, seemingly unaware of where he was. His surroundings caught up to him and he looked up at me, giving me an apologetic grin. Dude, this stallion could brainstorm like a professional. I could relate to that. Every idea he came up with sounded like a weird plot point or something. It was just a shame that the truth was even more extreme than the ideas he had come up with. Got to think even bigger!

"Heh...sorry about that. I like to, uh...tell stories," he explained to me while rubbing the back of his neck with one of his front hooves. A quick glance at his butt mark confirmed his assertions. So that's what had happened. He heard a cool story premise and his special talent made him think up some ways to expand upon it.

"Uh, yeah...I figured," I responded, chuckling gently. The sound of laughter that I let out made him relax visibly. Oh, so some humor would help him out? No problem, I could do funny. It's the way I tackled most of my problems anyway. Why not this one? Prime stopped rubbing and looked back to me, a curious expression on his face.

"So...why _are_ you calling her Sarah?" he asked, a bit more confidence in his voice now. I gave him a disarming grin. If he thought _his_ ideas were extreme, wait until he hears the _real_ reason! Okay, so in order for this to work, I would need to act really inconspicuous about it. I couldn't let him know that what I was going to say was going to blow his mind. With a calm smile and a slouch of my shoulders to show relaxation, I responded.

"Ah, no big reason. She's just really Sarah, that's all," I told him. He was nodding his head until the implications of what I had said clicked. His eyes widened and shot up to meet mine, his body freezing up again. He didn't look as much shocked as confused. Beside him, Lyra and Bon Bon also gave a horrified jump. Now I had three sets of eyes on me, begging me to elaborate. I would have if I wasn't still trying to act like it wasn't that big of a deal. I leaned back a little bit, attempting to look bored. The three ponies continued to look at me for a few moments before Prime spoke up.

"U-um...what do you m-mean...?" he asked shakily. I looked down at him calmly, still masking my mirth.

"Oh, she went into the head of the storyteller or something. She said she made a human form for herself and played the character," I explained blandly, giving a look towards the minty pony I suspected to have been my storyteller. She was looking up at me as if the life had left her and took the first bus to whatever country on the opposite side of the planet from this one.

A pang of guilt hit me when I saw the scared looks the two mares had. I probably shouldn't have done that...if Lyra was my storyteller, then I had just calmly explained to her that she had had her mind manipulated over the years by Sarah. Not only that, but she had also killed the lover of a princess. So many thoughts about her own destruction must have been running through her head. Bon Bon looked scared, too. However, her fear looked to be directed at Lyra. Her friend was possibly going to be in massive trouble over something as basic as telling a story. Prime looked...

...um, should pupils be able to turn into stars like that? I was pretty sure that wasn't healthy...

Prime was giving me an awestruck stare, his lips slowly turning up into a large smile. It was pretty terrifying. Why was he looking so happy all of a sudden? The other two were acting like I had just told them that I had taken their house, their parents and any pets they had and threw them into a blender. But here Prime was, trying his best to imitate someone realizing that they had just won the lottery.

"Uh...you okay, man?" I dared to ask the glowing pony. No, really, he was glowing now. Something was leaking from his horn that reminded me instantly of the money that had dripped from Time Warner's horn. The two were very obviously brothers, now that I thought about it. But instead of the money signs, Prime was leaking little happy faces from his horn. It was leagues more adorable and uplifting than money. He must have been in a state of euphoria or something. At the sound of my voice, he slowly looked up, his eyes still starstruck.

"Princess Luna plays a character on one of my shows..." he whispered, more to himself than to me. It wasn't loud enough for me to hear, though.

"Sorry, what?" I inquired. He needed to speak up if-

"PRINCESS LUNA PLAYS A CHARACTER ON MY SHOW!" he fucking screamed in my face. I yelped at the sudden vocal assault and jumped backwards, pushing my body into the couch. What the hell is it with ponies and personal space?! God damn! Prime took a second to notice that he had just yelled at his full volume right into my face. A quick blush grew across his face, but his 'starry' gaze wasn't affected.

Wait, what did he say? _His_ show?

" _You're_ my storyteller?!" I demanded. The two mares recoiled at my sudden outburst and tried hiding behind each other. The result was a series of cute shuffling, which ended with Lyra shielding herself with an irritated Bon Bon. Prime flinched as well, but didn't try to hide. He took a moment to work out what he wanted to say.

"M-me? Oh, no, it's not me. That's Ly-" he cut himself off with a hoof to the mouth. Apparently, in his stuttered panic in attempt to explain himself, he forgot that Lyra didn't want to be noticed. I had heard enough though. So it was absolutely true...well at least I had more evidence than a suspicion and a nod.

I looked over to the unicorn mare, who was now slumped over. It looked like her legs had simply gone out from underneath her. Oh, shit...she was having a panic attack. Her eyes were trembling, new tears running down her face. She looked like a cornered lamb sitting before the lion that was about to pounce. I needed to help the poor girl...she didn't deserve this kind of emotional torment.

I tried sliding a bit closer to her, but she only backed off a bit. Bon Bon looked fearful for a moment before that fear became protective anger. She jumped in front of her cowering friend and adopted an aggressive defense stance. Holy shit. Her front hoof stomped at the ground, daring me to try getting past her. A heard a little snort that I suspected was supposed to be intimidating, but it only came off as cute.

"I won't let y-you hurt Lyra!" she shouted. Prime was off to the side, shocked into silence. Behind the cream mare trying to scare me off, Lyra was still staring at me. She looked like she was afraid for her life...didn't she create me? Didn't she know that I wouldn't hurt someone like that? It was like she didn't even know me. Well, anyway, I couldn't just move to her. I needed to stay where I was and send out kindness from a stationary position.

I crossed my legs and scooted back a foot or so. Very slowly, to make sure they knew I wasn't trying to attack them, I opened my arms into my patented ' _Hug?_ ' pose. The three ponies grew very confused at this. They looked between each other, trying to see if the others had figured out what was going on. It didn't look like any had. I sighed and opened my arms wider.

"Thank you, Lyra," I said softly. The mint unicorn jumped a bit when I addressed her, but calmed slightly when she processed the words. She didn't look scared or sad anymore...just confused. I couldn't really blame her at this point. The large being that she thought was out for vengeance had just thanked her. Her lip trembling for a few moments before she managed to squeak out a response.

"W-what...?" she managed to ask. It was still...weird, hearing my mom's voice so scared and weak. Even in the hospital, her voice had been warm and comforting. Now it was just shaky and cold. That needed to be changed. I gave her a warm smile and explained further.

"Thanks. For making me. And giving me a really good life," I said simply. Bon Bon stared at me at disbelief. That look slowly changed into relief. That was something I could use a lot more of. If the pony that had stood in front of her friend had been relieved by my actions, then I must have been doing something right. Behind her, Lyra was just staring up at me. She didn't look scared, sad, or even confused anymore. Now it was a look of indecision. She was trying to choose something.

Bon Bon moved out of the way, giving Lyra a straight path to me. I just held my smile and posture. My calm state was thankfully spreading to my creator.

Technically, she was my mom. In voice and in actions.

It took her a few minutes to collect herself, but she very gradually got to her hooves and looked to me. She still looked uncertain, but I think I could tell that she had made up her mind. She looked to Bon Bon and Prime, who just nodded to her. Bonnie even gave her a reassuring smile.

Then Lyra took a step towards me. She halted, trying to gather the resolve to go through with it. Then she took another step.

Clop

Another step, another pause. With each step, her teal-ish hair bounced around her horn.

Clop

She was even closer, now. We were both looking into each other's eyes. Hers were a beautiful shade of gold. What was with ponies and having amazing eyes? I kept my face soft and soothing, and she retained that look of uncertainty. Just a little closer...

_Clop_

To the side, Bon Bon and Prime were started to grow worried for some reason. Were they still under the impression that I was going to attack her? I wasn't violent...why did they think I was? Had I done anything to warrant such concerns? I had to dispel those worries.

Clop

She was right in front of me, now. She looked like she wanted to move back, but something kept her rooted. I didn't like how she broke our shared gaze and looked to the ground, but she was here. Now I could go through with my master plan.

Very slowly, as to not scare her away, I wrapped my arms around her neck. When I first made contact with her soft mint-colored fur, I could feel her trembling. As the warmth from my deepening embrace entered her, the trembling stopped. Her body, which had been so tense up until this point, went lax. I completed the hug, my arms wrapped gently around her neck. My face tingled a bit from being so closely pressed into her minty fur. Huh. She smelled like spearmint. It was oddly relaxing...and familiar. It was the same smell I knew from every Christmas. My mom didn't care much for peppermint, so she went with spearmint.

This pony was my mom. One way or another, she had conceived me. Even if I had been born from her brain, I still felt...safe around her. I wanted to stop the fear she felt towards me. I couldn't stand to be the reason that Mo-...Lyra had been so terrified for so long. I just wanted...wanted to be her son again.

"I love you, Mom..." I whispered, my lips trembling. Even though I wanted to comfort her, I couldn't stop the tears that were forming in my eyes. My vision went blurry, against my wishes. Damn it, stop crying! This is about her, not me! Fuck...I didn't want to cry. Hadn't I already gotten over all of this? I was moving forward! This shouldn't bother me anymore...

...well, it _had_ only been two days or so since I arrived...I don't think I could expect _anybody_ to accept this kind of situation so quickly. Too many things had happened in such a small amount of time. I think the only reason I didn't cry more was because there was constantly something going on to take my mind off of everything. Now that I was in this room, I had time to reflect. A quiet moment to think...shit, this may have been a bad idea. I was finally starting to realize just how much this changed everything. I couldn't just wake up and go back to the way everything was...I couldn't just pass this whole thing off as a funny story. I was a magical anomaly. I hadn't existed before a couple days ago...what was going to happen? Even if I found a way to balance my body out, what then? Would I just try to settle down and find a place for myself? Would that be possible? I could probably use my position as a celebrity to make a living, but damn...this world was new to me. Scary. I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't have any...

" _Shhh..._ " I heard Mom's familiar voice softly whisper into my ear. I blinked awake from my dazing. Lyra was no longer looking up at me fearfully. Instead, she was cradling my head against her warm body. When did we change positions? I then noticed how wet my face was and how runny my nose had become. Oh...I had been sobbing into her for a good five minutes now. Her soft fur was stained with tears and snot. Shit, sorry about that...I didn't think I had been bottling up so many emotions.

The funny thing was...I didn't get dizzy at all. The entire time I had been hugging Lyra, my mind had stayed completely stable. Sure, I let it wonder off again, but the rift didn't happen. It was almost as if I was in tune with where I was supposed to be. This unicorn...she was my home. I was already where the rift wanted me. When I was with her, I didn't feel like I was going to go off at any moment. This was the single most comfortable I think I'd ever been. Eat your heart out, amazing couch.

A quick glance saw Bon Bon and Prime looking at the two of us. They both appeared to be a lot happier after witnessing my affections. Bon Bon even had some happy tears trickling down her face. What was she so emotional about? Prime looked more relieved than anything. I turned my attention back to the mare who was comforting me.

"Heh...sorry about that..." I tried to chuckle. It came out sounding more like a pained cough. I reached my hand up to wipe away the snot that I had left on her coat, but her hoof intercepted it. A blink in confusion was my only response to her actions. It was then that I noticed that she had also been crying, though a lot lighter than me. Just like Prime, her expression was one of relief. Lyra's was a lot more noticeable, however. She looked like the entire weight of the world had been lifted from her back.

"It's fine, Ryan...and...I'm sorry..." she said through a smile that struggled to stay on her face. I blinked in confusion. The one who was sorry was supposed to be me. What had she done that warranted-

Oh. She killed me. I guess I could accept her apology, then.

"It's okay, Lyra...but...why, though?" I asked vaguely. She knew exactly what I was referring to, judging by the look of pain that spread across her face. I felt like being upset again, but the lifting and falling of her chest drew my attention away from my sadness. She was just so soothing to be around. Lyra looked like she was going to speak, but was cut off by Prime.

"That whole situation was my fault and I claim full responsibility," he stated firmly. Bon Bon and Lyra turned to him with looks of shock on their faces. Wow, that dude was perceptive. He knew what we were talking about, even though we were being intentionally vague about it. So, wait...it was _his_ fault? How did that work? And if it was...he just threw himself directly under the bus in order to protect Lyra.

"Uh...how so?" I managed to ask. He took a gulp and gathered himself for a few moments before continuing.

"I accidentally gave my brother the idea during an argument...I didn't mean for him to take it seriously. It was meant to be an idea that was so out there and stupid that it was insulting to even consider. Well, Time considered it...and decided that that kind of event would draw the kind of attention he wanted." Prime was shaking a bit, his guilt eating away at the energy in his legs. So, according to him, it really wasn't any of their fault. It was Time Warner's. And even then, it wasn't like he was purposely causing somebody physical harm. I _had_ been fictional up until just recently. His decision to kill me off...it was the decision of a TV executive trying to boost viewership. It was basically any episode of any zombie show back on Earth.

Wow...so nobody was truly at fault for the whole situation. Sure, Time fucked up big afterwards, but it was all just a series of events that nobody could have seen coming. They didn't know I felt everything that happened. To them, it was just a story.

"We really didn't want to..." I heard another voice say right next to me. Turning my head in Lyra's grasp, I could see Bon Bon sitting down beside Lyra and me. She was still smiling, but it was a soft, sad smile. It only served to calm me down even further. Bon Bon's actions seemed so familiar...did she represent someone I knew on Earth as well? Her voice didn't sound like anybody I knew, but her protectiveness and strength...it almost seemed like...

...Emily. I couldn't tell for sure, but she felt way too familiar for it to be a coincidence. I only felt more at home with her sitting down next to us. In my head, a memory played of my family and I on our trip to _Universal_. The long-ass car ride, the awesome hotel room, the pool right outside the resort...the early morning line-free rides. I wanted so badly to be with everybody again. Just living our lives, always looking forward to the next fun thing we planned. Before I left the house, before everything went south...

"I don't even care," I stated, the fond memories still playing in my head. The three other ponies flinched in surprise. I bet they _really_ weren't expecting me to say that. Again, did they know me at all? I was always horrible at holding grudges. Forgiveness for me was passed out like free samples at any chain grocery store. It was even free-er when I didn't feel that the people, or ponies in this case, had done anything worth apologizing for. "You gave me...an awesome life. I really couldn't have been happier..."

"I...I did?" Lyra stuttered. The words I had said to her ran through her head a few times, each pass earning a different facial expression. Um...what? Wasn't she my storyteller? How could she not know what kind of life she had given me? Around us, Bon Bon and Prime both adopted tense postures. What was going on with them?

"...what? Are you...you know, the one who told my story?" I inquired shakily. Something told me I was treading on some fresh wounds. Lyra just closed her eyes and sighed.

"I...I can't remember...pretty much _anything_ about you," she admitted, "When you were made, the memories of you that I had were pulled out, too."

Pulled ou- huh? Whoa, that was possible? That's horrifying! But...now that she said it, I did remember Twilight saying something very similar to that during our first conversation. So I guess, in a weird way, it made a bit of sense. Twilight pulled out Lyra's memories of me and shoved them into a magical body. What was I, a sort of memory-based A.I.?

Man, it would have been cool if she had shoved me into a robot body...eh, no, that probably would have caused a panic attack and set me off. All in all, this was probably the best course of events that could have occurred. Except for Time Warner's bitch-attack. I could have gone the rest of my life without that.

Shit, zoning out again.

"So...what do you remember?" I asked her. She looked up at the crystalline ceiling, pondering her pending answer. The other two ponies looked liked they already knew what she was going to say; they had grim looks that didn't convey any sense of curiosity.

"I only remember..." Lyra began, "...the hospital."

Oh. The only memory she had about me was the single worst thing that had ever happened in my life. And she was the storyteller, so it was her doing. No fucking wonder she was so terrified! Here I was, this big, scary human. She knew that she had hurt me really badly, but didn't know what kind of person I was. For all she knew, I could have been a psychotic killer that wanted to avenge my death. Back when I questioned why it seemed like she didn't know me, I didn't expect her to _actually not know me_.

"So...you don't know me?" I asked softly. Lyra tensed up again, but it wasn't in fear. I couldn't tell for sure, but I think it was a cross between regret and sadness. From her body language, I could tell that she really wanted to remember who I was. She probably knew that I meant a lot to her, but she didn't remember why. That kind of missing personal information...it must be torture. I couldn't even imagine the kind of feeling that losing a part of you like that would bring...and I had died slowly!

"Um...no, I don't...I'm _so_ sorry, Ryan..." Lyra lamented. This poor mare. She had been forced to kill an entity she saw as her own son, lost her memories of him, and then feared that that son would come back to kill her for what she thought she had done. I couldn't stand her constant torment any longer. It was Ryan-time.

"Well...would you like to?" was my response. The three ponies froze and stared at me. I just looked up at my mom with a look of glad love. I was glad to know that she hadn't killed me on purpose. I was glad that I could still be in contact with Mom in some way, even if she was a mint-green unicorn. Above all else, I was glad that we had managed to work out all of the tension out. I even felt my own weight lifting. This conversation...it was _such_ a good idea.

Lyra couldn't fully process my question for a little while. When she finally ceased her stutters and babbling, she chose instead to let out a happy cry. It was pretty ear-splitting.

"YES! OF COURSE!" she squeaked into my ear. Immediately after, I felt her legs wrap securely around me. We had been hugging the whole time, but this was a super hug; the likes of which would make Sarah jealous. I returned the hug without another thought, again burying my face into her warm fur. The smell of spearmint filled my senses once more, lulling me closer to sleep. For a body that didn't really need to sleep, I was surprised how tired it was becoming.

Then, another set of legs wrapped around me. I was surprised when I looked up to see Bon Bon joined in on our snuggle session. She was looking at me proudly.

"It's good to have you back, Ryan," she told me. Uh, okay. I kept my confusion to myself and returned her smile.

"It's good to meet you for the first time," I responded. Bon Bon's smile grew and she squeezed me harder.

Ah, this was the good stuff. The two mares that had previous been afraid of me, now wrapped around me like two heated pillows. Now that I was closer, I could smell Bon Bon. Her scent was a strong mixture of sweet and rich. The closest thing I could match it to would have been fudge. The thought alone made my mouth water. I didn't need to eat, but fuck if I was going to pass up sweets. I just hope she would be willing to share...that is, if my nose was correct in my assessment.

As awesome as these cuddles were, they still felt...lacking. What were we missing? I had a Lyra, I had a Bon Bon...what could be-

Prime. Where the heck was that silly stallion? Looking around the bouncing mound of blue and pink that was Bonnie's mane, I could see Prime Warner smiling sadly at us. Why did he still look so guilty? Wait, did I ever tell him that I forgave him for the whole 'killing me' thing? I couldn't remember, but I don't think I did. He had been just sitting over there, beating himself up the whole time. He had been through way too much in the past day or so. As much as I missed my family, at least I didn't see them get dragged away to a prison cell that they might spend the rest of their lives in...the poor guy needed exactly what I could dish out in high supply:

Hugs.

"C'mon, Prime. You too," I called to him, waving him over with the one hand that wasn't pinned under a mint unicorn. He seemed surprised at the sudden attention, and that surprise became cautious confusion.

"B-but...what I did..." he stammered. I was quick to cut him off from that line of thinking.

"Pssh, you didn't do crap, man. Just because you accidentally gave your brother a bad idea doesn't mean you deserve to be hated or anything. Get your blue ass over here before I drag it over," I demanded kindly. He blinked a few times, sitting back on his haunches. His gaze settled on the wall behind us. He was obviously in deep thought. It didn't last long, though. He let out a relieved 'Huh' before standing up on shaky legs. After a moment's hesitation, he moved forward.

Clop

...Again with this slow walking bullshit. I could almost feel Lyra's eye-roll as she shared my mentality. Her horn lit up at the same time as a green aura formed behind Prime's rump. Very suddenly, the aura shot forward, taking Prime with it.

Clopclop _clop_ clop!

Our pile was forcefully expanded in the form of Prime being dumped onto us. It might have hurt if not for Lyra's magic cushioning his landing. He fell helplessly into the snuggle pile, completely powerless to stop the love he was going to receive. I wrapped an arm around him and pulled him tightly against the three of us. Lyra and Bon Bon acted in a similar manner. Soon enough, he was stuck between the three of us. I could feel the tenseness he had just melting away.

It only took a minute or so for him to go completely lax. I wanted to ask him how he liked the cuddle pile, but he interrupted me quite rudely.

 _"Snnnnrrrt..."_ he snored out loud. Holy crap, he fell asleep. Within a minute. How much sleep had this guy missed over all of this? Damn, I couldn't wake him up now. He probably needed this sleep. The two mares next to me nodded. Without another word, we all agreed to let him sleep for now. This whole situation just reinforced a previous belief of mine:

Hugs are awesome.

_Yawn_


	13. S1E13: The Link We Share

The sound of cereal being chewed was the only noise that pervaded the air inside the small home. A man, a woman and a teenage girl were all sitting at the family room table, eating their breakfast in silence. It's not that they couldn't speak, or didn't have anything to talk about; they just didn't feel like saying anything. They hardly even looked at each other. From an outside point of view, it would have appeared that they were each having their own staring contest with a different wall of the house. The scariest thing was that they all seemed to be winning. The gaze of the woman was torn from the wall in favor of the clock.

"Emily, you're going to be late," the woman spoke softly. Emily roused herself awake and turned her head. After seeing that she was indeed already five minutes behind schedule, she nodded and stood up to finish her morning preparations. Rose watched her daughter getting ready, but her mind was already lost once again. Emily walked around, gathering her school supplies.

_Backpack._

_Coat._

_Wallet._

_Phone._

Emily mumbled her mental checklist of supplies to herself, as she did every morning. These past two mornings, however, she had to repeat the list to herself a few times. She kept getting lost in thought halfway through and actually forgot her phone two days ago. For a teenager going to school, not having her phone was akin to emotional torture.

She wanted to be upset about it, but at the time, she just couldn't bring herself to care. She didn't know what she wanted to remember. The annoying tingle that came with forgetting something had plagued her as much as it had her parents. Rich and Rose were also affected by the strange mental fog. Rich had managed to put all of his clothes on the wrong way a couple days ago, and Rose forgot her keys yesterday. Rose's accident wouldn't have been so substantial if she hadn't gone inside to get them but forgotten to bring them out again. She did this four times in a row until she finally forced herself to remember.

They each knew that something was wrong. Something was missing. Something that they each cared for immensely...it was just _gone_. A hole had opened up in each of their hearts, driving them to the brink of madness. They wanted so badly to remember what it was that they were missing...but the answer simply wouldn't come to them. The only thing they could remember was that whatever was bothering them, it had to do with a hospital. Was someone sick? No, that couldn't be it. They would have remembered something like that.

Emily took a few steps towards the door, her backpack strapped around her shoulder. As she approached a door on the left side of the room, however, her feet slowed, dragging along the carpet until she stopped. This room. Whatever she had been trying to remember, it had something to do with this room. She didn't even know how she knew that, but she did. The tingling had grown to an annoying ache the closer she got to the door.

She took a few more steps, trying to move past the door. She had done so for the past few days, with the feeling growing more intense every time. The last two times, she had managed to push herself away and continue with her day. This time, however, she had to know. What was so special about this room? How would it solve her questions? This room had always been here, as far as she knew. The strange thing was, she couldn't ever remember going into it. What had it been used for? Surely, she should know what a piece of her own house looked like.

Emily turned herself back around and marched to the door. She was going to do it fast, like tearing off a bandage. After taking a deep breath and closing her eyes tightly, she reached out to the doorknob, gritted her teeth, and twisted it. The knob squeaked slightly, but turned with barely any resistance. Emily had expected such an unused piece a metal to be slightly stiff, but it moved as if it had been opened plenty of times before.

She stood there for a few moments with the turned knob in her hand. The effort she had used to force herself to open the door had carried her this far, but now she actually needed to push it the rest of the way. A breath left her chest, followed by another one.

Then she pushed.

The door opened wide, revealing the darkness inside to the whole family. Rose and Rich had been watching their daughter, each holding their breath without realizing that they were doing so. They both had felt the pull towards the door, but neither had dared to actually follow through with their gut feeling. They wanted to know so badly...but they were also afraid. What could be behind the door that would draw them to it like that? Would it be good...or bad? Now that Emily had made the first move, they had no choice but to participate.

The two parents stood up, walking over to where their daughter was standing. She had been staring into the darkness, once again trying to find the will to move forward. Past the door, they could see only darkness. The heart rates between the three family members shot up as they stared into the unknown. This was it. They were going to go into the room. They were going to face their fear and find out exactly what was inside the room and find out exactly what it was that affected them so deeply.

With the door now open, the inky blackness was now all that kept them from their answer. With an irritated huff, Emily extended her hand along the wall next to the door, inside the room. She fumbled around blindly for a few moments before her fingers ran over a familiar, switch-shaped object. With another huff, this time of victory, she flicked the little switch so that it pointed up instead of down.

_Click_

The light snapped on, bathing the interior of the room in its warm, incandescent glow. The sudden flash caught the two adults by surprise, but Emily had been expecting it. They all squinted, their imaginations running wild. What would they see? Why was it that they couldn't remember what had been in this room? What could there-

Nothing.

The room was entirely empty. It looked like it had never been used once. The carpet on the floor was still plush and new. Nothing had ever rested on the surface enough to compress the pile into the telltale depressions that would indicate furnishings. The shades on the windows were brand new with no dents or bends in them at all. There wasn't a scuff to be found on any of the walls. Even the ceiling fan looked like it had never been left running a single time. The lights were all functional. Nothing was out of place; for that matter, it looked as if nothing was ever in place.

This lackluster revelation drew relieved sighs from the two parents. Emily, however, felt completely different.

" _What the_ hell?!" she shouted in frustration, her hands shooting up and running through her long hair. Rich raised an eyebrow at her sudden outburst, while Rose took a step back from the shock of hearing her daughter curse.

"Emily! Language!" she scolded. Her daughter just looked up to her mother with angry tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She was breathing quickly, trying to keep herself from breaking down any further. The poor girl was frustrated to the point of tears. Rose immediately stopped her impending lecture. Something was still wrong, even if the they had fulfilled the will of the tingle. The mother moved forward quickly, wrapping her arms around the trembling teen.

"What the fuck...? What is...why?" Emily tried to say. Rose flinched at the severity of the expletive, but remained silent. The time for emotionally charged words was now. There wasn't really any better time to be allowed to use them.

"I know, Em, I know..." cooed Rose to her daughter. Emily, despite being a teenage girl, readily accepted the physical affection. Rich joined in on the hug after a few seconds, wrapping his large arms around the two smaller women. The warmth they shared calmed them down just as it always had. Though something still felt...missing.

They continued hugging while the room around them began to change. They were unaware of it while it was happening, being so absorbed in the physical affection they were sharing. A bed formed against the middle wall, plaid sheets covering it. It didn't look like it had been slept in for years, but it was still neat and tidy. The walls changed color, morphing from the bland greyish tint to a new sand color. The sand feeling was completed by the popcorning that the painted of the room had done. Now, instead of being smooth, a brush against the wall with bare skin would likely cause an abrasion.

An old writing desk was the next to appear. It was made of a dark textured wood and showed signs of many years of use. Scuffs, pen marks and chips told the story of the endless hours of schoolwork done on the desk's surface. On the walls, nail-holes appeared at the top of the few large rectangular sections of wall that were slightly lighter in color. The posters that took up those spaces were no longer there, but it was obvious that they had been up for quite awhile before they were taken down.

A dresser appeared next. It wasn't anything fancy; just a large wooden box with a bunch of shelves meant for containing clothing that had long since been removed. It was just back to being its normal self, now. The only thing that sat on top of it was a picture of the being that had eluded the memories of the family for the past few days.

The last thing to change was the family itself. As soon as the room stopped changing, the answer to the question they had all been asking popped into each of their heads. Emily stopped crying and looked around in stunned silence. She knew this room. She knew why it was the way it was. Her parents' eyes shot open, and stared at the room in wonder and consternation. The tears that the two adults had been holding in pushed their way out. Now, all three of the family members were crying. Not making any noise, but the tears still fell.

"Ryan..." Emily whispered to herself. It hit her all at once.

_The cabin._

_The lake._

_The bacteria._

_The sickness._

_The hospital._

_Ryan...dying._

Rose's hand shot to cover her mouth in an attempt to stifle her sob. Rich stumbled a bit, his head darting around wildly, trying to take in every feature of the room. Emily had the worst reaction, however. She tripped and fell backwards onto the blue plush carpet that now showed signs of wear.

No.

It couldn't have happened.

Not to Ryan.

She sat in stunned silence, her brain processing the events from two days ago. She had a big brother. She loved her big brother. She wanted to protect her big brother from the world, since he was so soft. She couldn't protect her big brother from an infection that targeted his nervous system. She visited her big brother every day, telling him to get better or else.

Her big brother was dead.

This was his old room. It hadn't been used in years. He had left it like this when he moved in with Sarah-

_Sarah._

That _bitch_ left him alone in his last day of life. Emily wanted to hate Sarah's guts. She wanted to hunt her down and throttle her with a jump rope...but Ryan's last request rang into her mind.

 _"Could you...take care of her after?"_ she heard her brother's voice echo. Ryan...he was so stupid. The woman he loved and took care of for two years left him to die on his own-...and he was _okay_ with that? He wanted her to be happy even after he was gone? Emily couldn't understand it herself...but it made perfect sense for her brother. It was just the way he was. He cared more about others than he did himself, even to a fault. Much too forgiving, much too soft.

But Emily wouldn't hurt Sarah. She had meant the _world_ to her brother. If Ryan was watching, somewhere, it would break his heart to see two of his loved ones fighting over him. He had been somewhat okay with it when it was just bickering about who was his main protector, but this would be different. She couldn't do that to him...but that doesn't mean that she wouldn't let Sarah know how badly she had fucked up. Be it directly or indirectly, she would _know_ what she put Ryan through.

Rich and Rose were going through their own emotional fits. Rose was sobbing so hard that it sounded like she was trying to choke herself with her own tongue. The tears that fell from her face stained the worn carpeting, with dark spots appearing around her. Her hand was still covering her mouth, but it did little good to cover the sound.

Rich was staring at the bed against the wall. He had tears running down his face, but he wasn't making any noise. He rarely did in stressful situations; he would just let the event play out and only say what he needed to. He was normally much more active and humorous, but the events from the past few months had drained him emotionally. He didn't want to believe it. His boy was gone. The young man that he had raised from birth was dead and there was nothing he could do to change that. Modern medicine couldn't even save Ryan. What could a pressman with no college experience have done to save him? There was nothing. He had watched his son die without being able to help in the slightest.

Through their tears and inner turmoil, they all had been asking themselves the same question. It was Emily who chose to vocalize it.

"Why did we forget...?" she choked. Her parents looked at her, both flinching. They had felt it, too. How could they have forgotten Ryan? They just remembered something about a hospital...and then nothing. Even now, with their previous memories restored, they couldn't remember what had happened right after Ryan passed away. They were hugging him, but then they were back home. What had happened at the hospital? They didn't even see what had happened directly after his heart stopped.

"I..." was all Rich managed to get out as a response. What had happened? The hospital...he needed to know. Without another word, he turned himself around and marched out of the room with purpose. The two women left in the room stared after him, both wondering what he was doing.

"Honey?" Rose spoke out, though meekly. The large man continued walking around the living room, gathering his car keys and coat. Emily and Rose followed after him, once Emily could get her legs to stop trembling enough so that she could use them. She had to almost jog to keep up with her father.

"Dad, where are you going?" Emily asked. She was still out of breath from the fit she had been having. Rich just continued gathering his things before turning and directing his march towards the door.

"Hospital," was all he said. The women followed him out the door without another word. They didn't say it out loud, but they were both thinking the same thing that Rich had been.

What in the actual _hell_ had happened at the hospital?

The car's engine roared to life not even seconds after Emily and Rose had clicked their seat-belts into place. Emily was feeling a sense of growing determination, which helped clear her mind somewhat. She needed something to do while the recent events sank in for the second time.

A mystery. It was perfect. Something to work through, something to solve. Even if solving the case didn't bring Ryan back.

_Shiver_

Emily let out one more tear before steeling herself and staring out the car window. Rose was reacting in a different way. She was still crying softly to herself, her face finding comfort inside of her hands. She didn't want to keep crying like this. Her family was being so strong! Why couldn't she be just as determined to figure out what was going on?

Oh, right. Ryan was dead either way. Her baby was gone.

Rose let out another strangled sob into her trembling hands, no longer trying to hide her misery. She just wanted Ryan back. He had been such a good man his whole life. He didn't deserve the pain that he had went through in that damned hospital. She wouldn't have wished that kind of torment on even her most hated enemy, and yet she had to watch her very own son go through all of it. The wilting, the fading, the shutting down...Ryan deserved _so_ much better than that.

Rich was responding closer to the way Emily was. He was pushing out every little bit of his sadness in order to fill himself with resolve to find out what had happened. It just didn't make any sense. Why had they been at the hospital with Ryan, and then back home right when he died? They hadn't even had time to confirm the time of death...

...Ryan could still be alive. Rich knew that he was most likely wrong, but even the slightest _chance_ that his son was alive was enough to keep him driving forward. The small Subaru flew down the highway, going way over the posted speed limit. Normally, Rose would scold him for going so fast. This time, she was too distraught to do pretty much anything to stop him. Emily was glad that her father was taking this as seriously as she was, she-

The memories of Ryan left as suddenly as they appeared.

He left a car full of confused family members behind when he left. Rich blinked once before he noticed just how fast he had been going. He foot immediately shot to the brake to slow the car down. He pulled off to the side of the highway, finally slowing the car to a stop. As he put the car into park, he took a moment to gather what thoughts he still had.

What were they doing out here? Why was he going so fast? Why hadn't Rose stopped him from speeding like she always did? Looking over at his wife and daughter only brought more questions. Why was Rose's face covered in tears? Emily was being oddly quiet...what in the hell happened? All he could remember was walking into that spare room that had been empty for so long...

...and now, this. Speeding on the highway with his family in the car. He would have kicked his own ass if he wasn't busy trying to figure everything out. His wife was busy looking into the mirror on the visor, fidgeting over her tear-streaked face.

Emily was just staring out of the window, trying to recall what it was she was supposed to be doing. Something that was very important...something she did every day. What was it?

School.

"I'm late for class!" she shouted suddenly, drawing the attention of her parents. They looked around before their eyes settles on the car's clock. Their eyes grew wide when they realized how late it actually was. Whatever they had been doing, it took off a good half-hour from their schedules. Rose squawked out her own problem.

"I'm going to be late for work! What is going on?!" she wailed in confusion. The other two couldn't offer her any kind of logical answer. This whole situation was just a massive mess. They didn't have time to sort things out right then; they would have to figure out what happened after they each went to their respective day jobs.

With a grunt of frustration, Rich clicked the car into drive and pulled back onto the highway with the intention of turning around at the first exit they came across. The tingling they had been feeling returned. It just got stronger for every second they went back home...Emily couldn't stand the feeling.

"What the **fuck** is happening?!" she shouted out loud.

"EMILY! _LANGUAGE!_ "

****

Twilight and her friends followed Princess Luna out of the room in a single file line. They weren't too keen on standing out at that moment, what with Luna's jealous twitching. They could feel the malice pouring in waves from the princess, but nothing really came from it. The large blue alicorn looked very conflicted about something, though she tried valiantly to hide it. Why was she so angry at them? Had they done something to anger her? Spike had noticed the tension in the air and sneaked away to find something else to do. He didn't want to be around arguing adult ponies.

Twilight Sparkle was keeping a very close eye on the older princess. She very distinctly remembered the warning she had received regarding Ryan and didn't want to do anything to cause those threats to become actions. It was through her attentiveness that she finally took a glance at Princess Luna's mane.

" _What..._ " she squeaked out in surprise when her eyes caught sight of the glorious dickmane. The sound was noticed by everypony except for Luna. Twilight held her hoof up to her mouth as her friends turned to look at her. She received simultaneously confused looks from Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy wasn't looking up anymore, so Twilight couldn't see what kind of face she was making. Pinkie, on the other hoof, had already been giggling herself silly. Twilight assumed she had also spotted the many...phallic images...in Princess Luna's mane, but she could have been mistaken. It was Pinkie Pie, after all. It was only when the purple alicorn looked up did she notice that Luna had been staring at her. She shot her eyes down to the ground again, hoping to avoid Luna's protective wrath.

"What is bothering you, Twilight Sparkle?" Luna said softly. A hint of barely-changed anger was still evident in her voice, even though she was forcefully keeping herself calm. Was she mad? If so, at whom? Was Twilight in danger of being destroyed? The younger princess scuffed her hooves nervously, still keeping her gaze locked onto the ground.

A memory played inside of her head. Ryan's voice...

_"Aren't you a Princess, too? You don't have to let her shove you around, you know...do things your own way."_

Twilight replayed the advice a few times in her head. Ryan was right. She _was_ a princess. Why should she be so easily intimidated by another princess? If she wanted something...who was Luna to try to stop her from going after it?

...Besides Ryan's marefriend.

"N-nothing, nothing. Just, uhm...enjoying the view," she stammered. As soon as the words left her muzzle, she wished she knew a spell to catch sound waves and return them to their source. Why had she said that? Out of all the excuses she could have made to push the attention away from herself, she chose _that_. It was meant to be a clever way of referencing the many male parts floating around behind Luna's head, but it just sounded sexual from the way she had phrased it.

Princess Luna blinked a few times, a look of confusion etched across her blushing face. She gave a quick glance back to her flank before pressing her waving tail closer against her rump. Twilight wanted to teleport to the farthest end of Equestria at that moment. She had basically just told another princess that she had been staring at her backside while walking behind her. Oh, if only she could go back in time and stop herself from-

Nope, not again. That idea was disastrous enough the first time.

Never again.

"Ah told ya, I'm not tellin'!" Twilight heard hushed whispers behind her. Her attention was thankfully pulled away from her unintentional catcalling and placed instead on Applejack's angered yet quiet voice. Huh? What was Applejack talking about? What was she refusing to talk about? Twilight listened in to the unaware debaters behind her.

"Oh, come on! You knew! I saw you write it down! Just tell us, already!" she heard Dash's voice respond in a much-less quiet whisper. Twilight's ears were swiveling around in place, trying to pick up every syllable of what was being said. It only took her a moment to realize what she had been missing.

The answer to the last question! Applejack had known it! But how? Twilight was probably one of the biggest _OtherWorld_ fans in Equestria and even she hadn't known anything about any... _secret fetish_. Sure, Sarah had teased Ryan quite a bit with her rump, but wasn't that just normal attraction? There wasn't much _secret_ about that...

What could the answer be? A secret kink that nopony had known except for Applejack...could it be a love of mammary glands? Uhm...maybe a love of feet? Twilight was pretty unused to human feet, so she didn't know whether or not those could be possible attraction zones. Could it be...

_Gulp_

An asparagus fetish?

The thought alone brought so many disturbing thoughts to Twilight's mind. The very idea that somepony could find some sick pleasure in the most evil of tiny-legged plants was revolting.

But...

It was so _dirty_. Ryan could be into something so...so... _dangerous_. The repeated story alone had sent numerous troublesome humans to the ER. And when they released the 11-part miniseries detailing the entirety of the asparagus plant story...Equestria had ground to a halt for the better part of a day. Hospitals were filled to the brim with ponies, frothing at the mouth. Some even had to be put in strait-jackets. Twilight remembered how confused Princess Celestia had been. To have a simple show affect so many ponies...Twilight was surprised that she hadn't outright banned the show. Thankfully, Celestia had only banned that miniseries from ever being sold again. All remaining copies were dumped into a landfill and sealed in with a barrier of solid diamond. Truly, the asparagus was the plant of nightmares.

Twilight broke from her heated musings when she noticed that she couldn't hear Rainbow Dash or Applejack arguing anymore. She turned her head and saw the exact thing that she had been dreading: Princess Luna standing in front of the two mares with her large blue wings splayed out in a show of dominance. Uh-oh.

"I will repeat myself no more! That information is Ryan's personal business and you have no place knowing it! Young Applejack knows simply because of an accident on my part. Stop asking for her to share her knowledge! Ryan does not deserve to be objectified like this!" the large blue alicorn scolded. Both mares were looking down, but Applejack just looked to be hiding from the noise. Thankfully, the lecture was not aimed at Twilight and she seemed rather proud of herself for upholding Ryan's request. Fluttershy was trying her best to drown herself in her mane, while Rarity and Pinkie were just watching the confrontation with uncomfortable looks being shared between them. Rainbow Dash, however, was looking like she was stuck in a mixture of anger, fear, and shame. Any sane pony would have known to not antagonize an already angry alicorn.

Rainbow Dash was _not_ a sane pony.

"He doesn't deserve to be left alone, either..." Dash mumbled under her breath. The sounds she made were still loud enough to be heard by an increasingly furious Luna. Twilight's pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks. For Celestia's sake, Dash! Now was not the time to vent your frustrations! Princess Luna apparently shared Twilight's sentiments.

" _Excuse_ me?" she seethed through clenched teeth. For a moment, Dash looked like she would do the smart thing and back down. Then the anger flashed across her face again and she raised her gaze to meet Luna's. The two stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, trying to push the other away with a stare.

"You heard me. At the hospital, you...you left him to die..." Dash growled. Luna flinched back at the memory of what she had put Ryan through. The pained look turned into one of indignation.

"Ryan already told you all that it was a misunderstanding! He-"

"Ryan's _Ryan_. Of course he would forgive you. That doesn't mean we will," interrupted the prismatic pegasus. Princess Luna took a few steps back, clearly shocked that a pony would have the nerve to interrupt her. Twilight was just as shocked. Rainbow Dash...she was crazy, but Twilight had to admit that she had a point. Ryan always gave way too many chances to those that didn't deserve them. He hated hating people.

Princess Luna hadn't seen what they had seen, had she? She hadn't been there to witness Ryan's heartbroken face when he heard that Sarah had left him. She hadn't been there when he chose to let himself die. She wasn't there when...he passed. Sure, it _could_ have been a misunderstanding. But Twilight had no doubt that if Luna really wanted to, she could have stopped it. She let it happen. Rainbow Dash was just giving voice to what the rest of her friends were too afraid to say.

"Wh-what is this about? What, do you want Ryan for yourself?! Is that it?!" the increasingly flustered blue alicorn grated. Dash blinked and lost her words for a moment. She hadn't been expecting to find herself in the spotlight so suddenly.

"H-huh? I, uhm...o-of course not! That's...that's stupid! I'm just trying to find out why you let it happen! And now! What are you going to do about it, now?! What about the baby?!" yelled Dash in frustration. Initially rocky, Dash rallied quickly, her words leaping like slung stones from her lips.

The room went silent, except for a startled ' _Eep!_ ' from Fluttershy. Luna's ears splayed back as she processed the words that had been tossed into her face. The only emotion she could display was confusion. The rest of the ponies nearly blanched at the verbal assault. Princess Luna's pregnancy was something they were all very aware of, but had avoided bringing up. Luna was Sarah, right? So she was expecting a child in a different form. How would that even work?

"What? What baby?" she asked, her anger being replaced by flustered curiosity. Every other mare in the room blinked. How could Princess Luna not know about her own foal on the way? She had been holding the pregnancy test...she had to know! Rainbow Dash sputtered out a jumbled mess of words before she could say something even half-resembling a sentence.

"Buh-but...wha...you-you're pregnant! Th-the episode..." she mumbled more to herself than to the larger alicorn. A look of realization flashed across Luna's face. So _that's_ what she was talking about. The princess cleared her throat before speaking with the intent of killing the confusion at its source. Looking around, Luna could see all of the ponies looking at her fearfully. She couldn't tell for sure, but she had a very strong feeling that they thought the same thing as their rainbow friend.

"You are all mistaken. I am not pregnant. That was just a manipulative ploy played by the storyteller in order to make the story even more dramatic. Rest assured, Ryan and I have only done 'mouth st-'oooh..." she tried to cut herself off before the words left her lips, but had failed. The room sat in a stunned silence for quite awhile. Every pony had a strong red blush on their face. Princess Luna, ruler of the nighttime, had just...told them about her sexual exploits with Ryan. Luna was all too aware of the six pairs of eyes burning into her. Rainbow was about to say something in response, but her attention was captured as her gaze moved up to Princess Luna's mane.

She blinked hard, like she was trying to rid herself of a stray hair. Then a small smirk started to form. It was joined by her biting her lip, trying to keep herself from laughing out loud.

"O-oh? Are you _sure_ that's all?" Dash choked through her mirthful expression. Luna just tilted her head, unaware of the many dicks floating in the constellations behind her.

"Yes, I am sure. Why?" the blue alicorn asked cautiously. Just what was Rainbow Dash getting at? Dash just snorted once before she could gather herself enough to continue.

"So there was no...'mane' stuff?" she chortled. At these words, the rest of Rainbow's friends looked up to Luna's mane. Twilight let out a silent gasp. Why, Rainbow, _why_?! The other four ponies finally noticed the 'art' drawn into the large swirling blue pool floating around Luna's head. Their eyes grew wide once more, the blushes returning in full force.

"Oh...mah..."

"H-how lewd..."

"So that's what they look like on a human..."

"WOWWIE!"

"What?" Luna asked the crowd of blushing ponies. Was there something in her mane? She twisted her neck a few times, trying to see what it was they were looking at. However, every time she turned, the end of her mane would whip out of sight before she could find anything. With a huff, she stormed off towards where, she presumed, she might find a mirror. When she had gone from their vision, the six ponies got into a huddle to discuss what had just happened.

"DASH! What the buck is _wrong_ with you?! Why are you antagonizing her?!" demanded Twilight. Dash just shrugged and flipped her hair, looking bored. Inside, though, she was still shaken from the fierce presence that Princess Luna carried. She would never admit it, but Luna did scare her a little bit. _Especially_ when she got like that.

"She deserved it. After what she did to Ryan..." was Dash's response. Twilight just smacked her face with her hoof in frustration. She had a feeling, but she never had any definitive proof until now.

Rainbow Dash was _trying_ to get herself killed.

Be it through crazy stunts, insane speeds, or stupid remarks, the battery that measured Dash’s lifespan was running dangerously low on juice.

"But did you see her mane? _Pfft_ , that was _awesome_! Did Ryan do that?" laughed Rainbow Dash loudly. The remaining princess just lowered her hoof to the ground and sighed.

"I don't think anypony else could have done it..." Twilight lamented. Why did Ryan do these things to himself? Luna had already turned him into a female version of himself and locked him inside of his own mind for a night for just _kissing her head_. What would happen to him now? He had basically humiliated his marefriend in front of a crowd of her subjects and another princess.

...Though, Twilight couldn't help feeling a sense of proud justice coursing through her. In one regard, Twilight did agree with Dash; Princess Luna did kind of deserve some repercussions for what she had been doing. The problem was that nopony else could really punish the _Princess of the Moon_. 'No _pony_ else'...

Ryan was not a pony. He had the strongest connection to her and was absolutely safe from any _serious_ danger. He was the only one who could have done anything to let her know she had done wrong, and he had done it in a completely harmless way. The only casualty in this situation what Princess Luna's pride. Speaking of which-

"GODDAMN IT, RYAN!"

Five of the ponies were left to nurse their ringing ears. Even through solid crystal, Luna's Royal Canterlot Voice was still akin to someone setting off an air horn next to somepony's eardrum. Twilight had the foresight to cover her ears before Luna shouted.

"There it is," she giggled to herself. Ha, take that, Princess Dickmane.

The Scoreboard of Ryan sat currently at _Twilight: 1_ , and _Luna: 0_.

"Uhm...why didn't she just use one of the walls?" Fluttershy's tiny voice squeaked. Twilight blinked and looked around at the hallway they had been standing in. True to Fluttershy's word, the crystalline walls were very reflective. Surely, Luna could have just took a few steps to the side to see herself?

Twilight didn't hear any of her other friends speak...and that disturbed her. Pinkie Pie was being quiet.

This scares the Twilight.

The purple princess turned her head and watched the pink terror. Pinkie Pie was just standing there, her face the brightest shade of pink- well, more than it usually was. Her eyes were still locked onto where Luna's mane had been floating. Her smile was...

...growing beyond the limits of her face. Twilight wanted to run away, but she was stuck. The magic behind the smile had caught her and now it was going to eat her. Her and her friends were just food for the smile now. Nothing could-

" _Party_ ," spoke a voice from right next to Pinkie's ear. The pink earth pony shook her head a few times, now fully returned to her normal self. Pinkie looked around frantically, trying to find the source of the voice.

"Party? Where! Party where? Party... _party where_?!" she chanted while bouncing in circles. The one who had saved them all, Rarity, was smiling gently in front of her pink friend.

"Oh, soon, Pinkie. I'm sure we'll find _some_ reason or another to have a party~" assured Rarity in her singing voice. Pinkie deflated a bit at having to wait, but the promise of a future party was still pretty good. She hummed a little tune to herself while the rest of her friends gathered once more.

They were going to continue their discussion when they each noticed smoke floating around inside the hallway, distorting their vision. Twilight waved a hoof through it, noting its particular...texture. It wasn't like normal smoke. It was far more light and swirly. As she moved her hoof around, the smoke would twist and twirl around it, as if in a dance.

"Uhm...is there a fire?" Pinkie asked, looking around at the pretty smoke that circled around her. Twilight shook her head but didn't say anything. She knew that with the castle being made out of crystal, there wasn't really much to _catch_ fire. It couldn't have been that. She then noticed, with growing horror, that the smoke was much too...

... _purple_.

The feeling of dread spread throughout the room at a much quicker pace than the smoke had been traveling. The smoke had already moved down the hallway and out into the rest of the castle. Twilight's heart started pounding in her chest, pulse roaring in her ears. Her friends adopted similar nervous looks. Even Pinkie Pie was shifting around uncomfortably on her hooves.

"T-Twi...?" Applejack asked, her voice trembling. She knew. They all knew. Something was wrong. The last time the air had been this purple had been when...

"RYAN!"" came a shout from farther down the hallway. The sound of beating wings filled the air, letting everypony know just who was charging down to meet them. Princess Luna came into view, her mighty wings blowing the smoke around to increase visibility. She landed so hard that she almost toppled over. Her eyes were the most panicked that any of the other ponies had ever seen before. "What's going on?! Where is he?!"

Just then, more sounds filled the hallway. Through the thickening purple haze, they could hear distant shouting that moving moving closer. The yells were accompanied by the distinct sounds of frantic clopping of hooves on crystal.

"Help! Princess Twilight! Princess Luna! It's Ryan!" came Bon Bon's voice. She quickly moved close enough for the rest of the ponies to see her. She was being followed by Prime Warner, who looked even messier than he had before. His mane was flattened at one side, akin to the worst of bedheads. Rarity would have recoiled at the sight, if she hadn't been now entirely focused on finding out what was going on. Luna hurried over to meet the two charging ponies.

"What has happened?! Where is my Ryan?!" she shouted, her worried voice filling the hallway once again. Bon Bon and Prime stumbled as they stopped, their momentum trying to push them over. They were both clearly out of breath. Bon Bon tried to speak, but her heaving chest reduced any sound she tried to make to gurgles. Prime recovered enough to speak before she could.

"It's...they're in the same room. We don't know what happened, we just fell asleep...and now Lyra and Ryan won't wake up! He's leaking some kind of purple smoke, and...oh, Celestia...I don't know what's going on!" he wailed into Luna's face. She didn't mind. He gave her enough information to work with. Before he could even recover the breath it took to speak, Princess Luna was off. Her large wings beat quickly, parting the smoke to either side of the hall in her wake. Within a moment, she was out of sight.

Twilight watched the smoke refill the empty area, still too stunned to speak. The rest of her friends didn't dare speak either. The only sounds that could be heard now were the two exhausted ponies trying to recover their breath.

"N-no...why...this is... _why can't anything just go right?!_ " Twilight suddenly shouted. Her friends all flinched out of their dazed states to look at her. They didn't know what to do. Something was happening to Ryan. Again. Why couldn't the poor man just get a break? Twilight surprised them all again by teleporting out of sight. The flash of bright purple blinded every pony in the room for a moment, but they quickly recovered. The light was muted somewhat by the smoke that had been swirling around them all, distorting their vision. They already knew where she had gone.

Without another word, the five friends took off into the section of hallway that Luna had disappeared into. The smoke thickened, encroaching on the group until they could scarcely see three feet ahead of them. Bon Bon and Prime were still recovering from their last panicked sprint, so they couldn't keep up and quickly fell behind.

****

Twilight reappeared again in a flash of light. She was immediately engulfed in the purple smoke again. She couldn't see _anything_. Even the hoof that she tried holding up to her muzzle was lost to her. She swore she could even _taste_ the purple as it entered her lungs with every quick breath. The haze had filled the entire room, cutting off everything from vision. The sun that had been pouring in through a high-up window merely illuminated the entirety of the fog. Twilight wanted so badly to just run over to Ryan and help him, but she didn't even know where _she_ was. How was she supposed to find him in this fog? Her answer came in the form of Princess Luna's shriek of terror.

" _Twilight! Over here! Ryan's...I need help!_ " Twilight blinked for a moment. Luna was asking _her_ for help? If it was something that even Princess Luna wasn't sure about handling...just what had happened? She shook her head and broke herself from her thoughts. Ryan needed her help! She couldn't sit there pondering about nothing! She ran in the direction from where Luna's voice had come from. It only took a few seconds of running before she almost crashed head-first into Luna's large blue form.

"What's...oh, sweet Celestia..." squeaked Twilight as her eyes managed to pick out the motionless forms on the grounds below her. Lyra and Ryan were laying there, hugging each other's still bodies. The mint-green unicorn had a look of panicked sadness on her face, as if she were having a continuous nightmare. Ryan's face looked...peaceful. Non-expressive. Blank.

...Dead.

Twilight could see his chest still raising with each small breath he took, but the dark purple smoke that was gushing from his nostrils only worried her further. The thing that scared her the most, however, was the greenish aura that was connecting the two. A thick strand of what looked to be Lyra's essence was flowing from Ryan's chest into Lyra's horn. As the aura continued to flow, the smoke only got thicker and darker. What what going on?!

"What is..." was all Twilight could get herself to say. Her eyes moved over to Princess Luna. The larger alicorn was shaking visibly, even through the thick veil of smog. Twilight could only just make out the tears streaming down her muzzle as she stared down at the man she loved.

"It's...th-the link..." Luna choked out. Twilight didn't know what Luna meant by 'the link'. Unless...no, that couldn't be it. Luna couldn't be talking about the link between Ryan and his creator. That was Lyra on the ground with him! Good ol' Lyra Heartstrings, one of Ponyville's happiest ponies! A unicorn that...hadn't really...been around in the public for the past few years...and rarely spoke when she did...who always had Bon Bon talk for her after whispering into her ear...and was never, _ever_ around for viewing parties...

The realization hit Twilight like a bomb. Lyra was the creator of _OtherWorld_! All this time, the ever-elusive storyteller of the greatest story that Equestria has ever seen...she was right in Ponyville, under everypony's nose. How could Twilight have missed it? All those little hints...passed right under the radar. Lyra was the one who imagined Ryan. She made him the amazing person he was. Then...she took him away. Twilight had saved Ryan from the mint unicorn's head. And what was with that link? Had it always been there? Was is just more visible now? Twilight didn't know whether to be starstruck, angry, confused or panicked. A shove from the Lunar Princess that had been shouting into her face made her decision for her.

" **SPARKLE!** I need your **HELP!** " Luna shrieked, the tips of her large wings smacking Twilight from side to side. Twilight shook herself out of her reverie and looked into Luna's eyes. They were the widest that they had ever been, her irises squeezed into the thinnest of rings. The purple princess cleared her throat before trying to speak.

"What do we do...?" she squeaked. Luna looked relieved that she finally had some help, but was far from calming down.

"I don't know! I've tried to separate them, but the link won't stop! He's leaking back into her! The link just won't go...the link," Luna stopped her rant for a moment, her face smoothing as realization dawned. "That's it! Twilight, we have to break the link between the two!"

Twilight recoiled at this. Luna wanted to break the link between Ryan and the pony whose head he had been pulled from. That...would that solve this? Wouldn't that mean that he wouldn't go back when he did go off, though? The only relief that Twilight had regarding the nature of Ryan's body was that his mind would not be lost if he ever did blow up. It would return to his creator, via the link that still lingered between the two. Without that connection between them, his entire self...would it just drift away without a body? And what about the process itself? If they snipped the ribbon of magic, what would happen with Ryan's body? Would it just go off without a place to return to? They could potentially be risking the lives of every pony in the surrounding area.

...But if they didn't do something, Ryan would go back to Lyra and his body would be left behind without a reason to stay together. Either way, there was a risk of an explosion. Twilight took a deep breath. The option was obvious to her, regardless of how much it scared her. On one hoof, leaving Ryan to return to Lyra's head would set his body off and kill them all, anyway. On the other, snipping the link only _might_ set him off. The other consequences could wait. They had to act, and they had to act _fast_.

"Luna, I need you to form a barrier around us in case this...goes wrong," directed Twilight suddenly. Princess Luna looked into Twilight's eyes, the realization of what she was asking sinking in. To Twilight's surprise, Luna complied and nodded her head in understanding. She had tried to grab the link earlier, but the magic was not hers. She couldn't just grasp the aura of another pony like that, it was outside her knowledge. It was Twilight's magic that was on the receiving end of the link. She was the only one who could cut it off in the amount of time that they had. She was risking her life, but if she didn't...then she was potentially risking the lives of so many other ponies, as well.

"Very well, Twilight Sparkle, I...I wish you luck. And, for what it's worth...I am sorry for the way I have been treating you. You did not deserve to be threatened in such a way," Luna admitted with a small, nervous smile. Twilight turned her head away from the man on the ground. Had Luna just... _apologized_ to her? Twilight couldn't help the feeling of relief that surged through her for a moment before her determination replaced it. She gave Luna a confident smile and motioned with her head. Luna nodded in response, her horn glowing brightly.

All around Twilight and the two unconscious forms on the ground, a dome the same color of Luna's aura arose. Twilight was no longer worried about the safety of the rest of the town; Luna's magic barrier would be able to withstand much more than what could possibly be thrown at it from inside the bubble. Ryan's body might have a lot of magical pressure built up behind it, but Princess Luna moved the moon every morning and every night. She was had plenty of energy to keep the possible explosion contained. Now the only possible casualties would be herself, Lyra and Ryan.

_Gulp_

"Okay...let's do this..." she told herself. She charged her horn, and mentally focused herself around the green aura that was sucking away at Ryan's being. He still looked just as expressionless as before, but Lyra was sinking even further into her unconscious depression. Twilight didn't even want to think about what was going on inside their minds.

She slowly worked her way around the green aura, getting a feel for how it moved and the way it worked. As far as she could tell, the memories of Ryan were being shared between the two bodies, but didn't exist fully in either at that moment. She needed to get rid of the link before the memories could go completely back to Lyra and leave the explosive shell behind. One half of the connection felt so familiar to her. It _was_ her, after all. That's what gave her the leverage it took to grab hold of the link and pull.

The link held strong. She almost lost some hope before she noticed the twitch that occurred on Ryan's face. The little motion brought her confidence to a soaring high.

"I can do this..." she said to herself shakily as she pulled, trying to work past the elasticity of the link. "I can do this!"

The connecting thread still refused to break. She pulled and tugged in every which way, but it just wouldn't give. Twilight only then became aware of the tears pouring down her face. She was scared. If she couldn't do it, she would die. Lyra would die. With Lyra, Ryan would disappear as well. The fates of three different beings rested in her magical ability. She wanted to cry, but she pushed past those urges and kept digging.

What was she doing wrong? Well, it was obvious that what she was trying wasn't going to work anytime soon. Maybe...maybe she was thinking about it in the wrong way. Maybe, instead of imagining the link as a rubbery ribbon, she had to think of it as a chain. A chain with two separate ends in which it was tethered. The two ways to break a chain were to either find the weakest link...or remove one end from where it was anchored. The link idea hadn't worked; she had spent the last few minutes systematically probing the entire length of the link. So that only left...

"I got it!" she proclaimed happily. She knew what might work! Instead of tugging at the link itself, she had to go to the weakest end and remove the area it was attached to. Ryan was made from her own magic! She quickly focused her magic on the area the link was floating from. Instantly, she could feel it weaken. The unconscious man's face grew a pained grimace.

 _Emotion! He wasn't empty anymore!_ It wasn't a happy expression, but at least he was feeling something. Twilight focused her energy on the point and gave a mighty tug.

_Snap_

The green aura floated back away from Ryan's body, retreating into Lyra's horn. The purple smoke also stopped flowing so heavily from the man's nose. Twilight knew that he would probably need outside help stabilizing, so she cast her magic over his body like she was used to doing to bring him back together. Internally, she was waiting for him to go off. It could happen at any moment. It was too dangerous for Luna to drop her barrier. He could still go off and kill a bunch of ponies if they weren't careful. Twilight took a breath and held it while her magic worked on refocusing Ryan.

_1_

_2_

_3_

"...whew..." Twilight sighed in relief. Ryan had not gone off yet, and it had been a good few moments without his link. It looked like him being separated would not doom the surrounding area to a fiery death.

Beside her, Lyra started to stir, with a few tears falling down her cheeks. She looked like she had just woken up with a really bad hangover. Emotionally, she very well might have. It was Ryan's movement that drew Twilight's attention, though. He took a few seconds to stretch his arms before his eyes blinked open.

"Ryan!" Twilight squealed. Her exclamation was joined moments later by Luna's. The Princess of the Night had dropped the barrier the moment she saw Ryan moving. She rushed forward and threw herself on top of the waking man.

"Oh, you're alright! Ryan, I'm so...I'm..." Luna's words were clouded over by her incoming sobs. She had almost lost him. Again. But now that the link was gone...maybe things would be easier. Ryan's first panicked words blew those thoughts out of the water.

" _Holy shit! What the fuck are you-?!_ "


	14. S1E14: Severed

That...was a _weird-ass_ dream. I mean, yeah, I _had_ been hoping for dreams about my loved ones and home...but not like _that_. Instead of hanging out with my family inside my head, seemingly the only place they actually existed anymore, I was just floating around aimlessly. I couldn't even think for myself. All I could do was _feel_...and I wish I couldn't.

I could feel my mom, my dad, and Emily. I don't know how; I couldn't see or hear them. All I knew is that they were sad...aimlessly sad, like they didn't even know what to be sad about. I could feel a strong sense of confused hopelessness emanating from each of them like a dense, dark fog. It was the worst feeling I had ever experienced in my life. It was even worse than the pain I went through back in the hospital; at least with that, the pain I was experiencing was mine and mine alone. I didn't have to feel the combined sadness of my family as they reacted to losing me. I could _see_ how sad they were, true, but I didn't actually feel what they were feeling.

I was once again stuck in my head, powerless to stop what was happening.

I only felt that sadness for a minute or two before it got even _worse_. The feeling of confusion faded away suddenly. It felt like they went from not knowing what was wrong to being painfully aware in an instant. It was, frankly, overwhelming. They were crying at that point, the emotional weight of whatever was happening joining together and washing over me. I think I remember wanting to cry along with them, but I hadn't been self-aware at the time. It was possible that it was just their thoughts, being mistaken for my own.

Looking back, I _should_ have been pissed beyond all reason. I get a dream that isn't being controlled by Sarah, and I was stuck floating in the sky like an emotion-filled cloud. Dreaming had been my only chance at seeing my family again...short of returning to the head of my storyteller. As much as I didn't want to be mad at Lyra for what had happened...I still didn't really trust her with owning the thoughts that made me who I am. If I went 'back' to her, then how would I be able to defend myself? If she was pressured to do something to me again, how would I stop her?

I wouldn't be able to. She, and by extension her bosses, would have complete control over me.

The feeling of unity floated into my cloud-self at that point. I was...I'm not sure how to put it, but I was something close to ' _conforming._ ' I still felt the sadness and the misery. So, why did I start feeling okay with that? I should have been trying to tear myself apart to escape the sadness...but instead, I was content.

The whole idea just disturbed the hell out of me...as soon as I woke up, anyway.

And let me just say right now?- Waking up after that kind of dream was not made any better by having a sobbing Sarah hopping onto me. I would have normally loved her glomps, but...her back hoof...

...it landed on my _balls_.

My reaction was to be expected, given that a hoof with a metal shoe-thingy had planted itself squarely on my nuts, with a good chunk of Sarah's weight resting on it.

" _Holy shit! What the fuck are you-?!_ " I yelped, my voice noticeably higher than it was supposed to be. In my frantic scrambling to find a way to save my nads, I didn't even get to finish asking why she was trying to remove any possibility of children. I just started pushing and shoving, desperate to find a way to get her off of me. The sudden look of shock and fear that flashed across her pretty blue face almost made me stop struggling to get away.

_Almost._

It took another second or two for me to squirm out from underneath her armored cock stomper. I slid a few feet away, tending to my aching loins while they tried their damnedest to crawl up my esophagus. If you've never had your nuts pinched between two hard surfaces, then you're lucky. That shit fucking _hurts_. Being a guy, it pretty much consumed the whole of my attention.

I wanted to puke. I almost _did_ puke. I'm pretty sure I _would have_ puked if I had a normal organic body. As I was, only a little bit of purple glitter came out when I started coughing. It tasted like purple. I clenched my eyes tightly, trying to focus on getting over the pain that was coursing through my entire lower half. My stomach hurt. Why did my stomach hurt? Ugh, this _sucks_.

When I managed to swallow my balls back down my throat, I glanced up to where I had seen Sarah. To my surprise, she wasn't alone. Twilight and the rest of my friends were all standing behind her, with Prime Warner and Bon Bon bringing up the rear. All the ponies except for Twi and Sarah looked extremely winded, especially Prime and Bonnie. Had they just been running around? Lyra was on the floor right next to where I had been laying when Sarah pounced. She was in the process of standing up, but kept her eyes on me the entire time.. What had happened to our awesome cuddle pile?

The looks they gave me were what worried me, however. Twilight and her group were all pale-faced as they stared. Lyra looked like she had just seen a ghost; she was barely even mint-green anymore. She honestly looked afraid for her life. And Sarah...

...Sarah looked like her whole world had just crumbled to pieces in front of her. She had tears streaming down her face, snot leaking out of her muzzle, and her mane had lost much of its waviness. She was visibly trembling as she slowly lifted one of her hooves to her mouth in apparent horror.

"N-no..." she whispered in shock. What? Had I done something wrong? All I could think of was that she realized that she might have just killed any grandchildren she might have had. Could I even have kids with her? Would I? And-

What the hell is with all this purple smoke?

"His m-memories...they're...he's..." Sarah stuttered. The rest of ponies were starting to leak from their faces as well. Really? Again with the crying? Did they think something happened to me? _Had_ something happened to me?

Hmm...nope, I felt fine. If I was fine, and they thought I wasn't, then that just meant that it was time for some good ol' damage control, Burbank style. Take it away, contextually inappropriate humor!

"What's with the purple haze? Were you guys getting Hendrixed or something?" I tried to laugh with my higher-pitched voice, but it ended up just coughing some more. Dang, that shit _still_ hurt. The coughing startled all of them, but the words I had said prior to the coughing were what really caught their attention. Sarah stopped her crying for a moment, sniffing some snot back into her nose before giving me a hopeful glance. The rest of the ponies were looking just as hopeful as she was. Was...was my joke working? I couldn't tell yet.

"Ryan...? Do you...do you know who I am...?" she managed to ask me. I just lifted an eyebrow at her. What the shit was that question about? Of course I knew who she was. Before I could stop myself, my sarcastic side decided to respond.

" _Nooooo_ , who are you, again?" I deadpanned. In hindsight, I'm still a fucking idiot sometimes. Sarah's reaction was instantaneous.

"BWAAAAAAAAA-" she started to bawl at me in her super-voice. _Holy shit!_ I yelped in pain and, without a second thought, I rushed forward and clamped my hands around her muzzle, snapping her mouth shut and effectively silencing her. Even with the improvised gag, she still attempted to scream herself hoarse. The sound just reverberated around inside her snout, causing a weird humming feeling to transfer into me.

"Sarah! What the hell?!" I shouted to her, my ears ringing powerfully. That damn shout of hers was going to permanently deafen me one of these days. "...mawp..."

"...Mm-mmf...?" I heard her try to say. I couldn't tell for sure, but it sounded like she was trying to say 'Ryan.' I watched her for another moment, making sure that she wouldn't shout me into a coma. Once I was sure enough that it was safe, I released my hand from around her mouth and moved back a little to allow her to speak. I had to stealthily wipe her mucus from my hand, as to not embarrass her further.

"You said my name! You know my name!" she said breathlessly, through trembling lips. I didn't know what to make of all that.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I?" I inquired, sitting up a little more. Lyra was looking between us, seeming just as confused. Twilight's friends were all ears, but Twilight herself just looked frightened.

"Ryan...when Twilight broke the link...I thought...your memories of me...I..." Sarah tried to explain, but her recollection of what she had seen seemed to drag her back down into her panic. I moved forward again and wrapped my arms around her blue, furry body as a way to let her know that I was okay and she could relax. Her trembling quickly muted as my body heat leaked into her.

"I wouldn't normally say this, but just spit it out, Sarah," I teased. Sarah nodded at me once. I wondered when she would get it.

_Uno..._

_Dos..._

_Tres!_

" **RYAN! THAT'S** GROSS!" she scolded. _There_ it was. I just giggled to her, pressing her body tighter against mine. The affection I showed her quickly calmed the Princess down. Oh, I could tell she wanted to be mad at the random dirty joke, but the ...hugs? were too much for her. The power of hugs compels her! Instead of arguing back, she just gave a pouty little _'Hmpf'_ before snuggling into my chest and gathering her words.

The other ponies had... _interesting_ reactions to my sexual humor. Bon Bon just smacked her face with her hoof in exasperation, while Prime grinned like a child. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie pretended not to hear what I had said and maintained an air of innocence. On second thought, with Fluttershy, it might not be an air. She really might not have gotten my joke. Applejack scrunched her face up again, a strong blush building across her face. _That_ seemed familiar. Rainbow Dash had opened her wings for some reason, but she still had the same kind of blush that AJ had. Can't hide your fluster from me, Dashie! Rarity was blushing cutely, her hoof fanning her face like she had overheated. Twilight...

...Twilight was fucking _drooling_.

...

Yeah, I'm _definitely_ going to have to talk to her about that. That's just weird. Oh, Sarah was going to try speaking again. Good luck, Bear! Rooting for you.

"We're not sure how, but you started to drift back into your storyteller. When Twilight and I found you, you...you were almost gone..." she started. The ponies in the room except for Twilight gasped. I noticed a nervous look appearing on Lyra's face as she tried scooting away from the rest of us.

...Well, okay then.

Almost died again. No problem. Add it to the fucking list.

"W-what happened _this_ time...?" I asked weakly. Sure, I was almost getting used to the constant shit happening, but it still scared the hell out of me. Not just for my sake; I was right in the castle with the rest of my friends when it almost happened. Again, I had accidentally endangered my friends. Twilight picked that moment to speak up.

"I think you got caught up in Lyra's _leaksleeping_ , since you were so close. The link must have pulled you along..." the purple alicorn added. At the mention of my mom's name, the rest of the ponies turned to look at her.

"Her _what_?" they all, except for Bon Bon, said at the same time. Bonnie looked nervously aware of what was being talked about.

"My _what_?" Lyra responded, though quietly and in a raspy voice. Twilight seemed to notice that she probably shouldn't have said anything around the ponies that still weren't aware of the precise nature of Lyra’s relationship to me. Lyra tried to back away farther, but Applejack stepped forward to her and closed the distance.

"Twi said that Ry got caught in his 'teller's dream. Then she said that his link was to _you_. Just who in tarnation are ya, Lyra?" the orange mare demanded. Mom visibly shivered and tried backing away from the pony interrogating her. Applejack just marched forward when she lost any ground. My family-protection instinct triggered and I broke away from Sarah, much to her surprise. I rushed over to where the nascent confrontation was happening and stood in front of Lyra. Applejack just blinked in surprise and looked up at me.

"Applejack. Stop. She's fine," I told her, trying to get her to back off. Something about the way I said that must have sent a mixed signal to AJ, since she suddenly grew a very suspicious look and tilted her head.

"You know something we don't, _don't ya_ , sugarcube?" she prodded. Ugh, the honesty-thing again. Well, I think I knew a way to counter that, even if countering wasn't the proper answer. Should I tell them?

"Yep," I responded simply. The surrounding ponies all watched me expectantly, waiting for me to continue. When it became obvious to them that I was done talking, they all let out a collective sigh...except for Pinkie. She squeaked like a deflating balloon for some reason.

The hell?

"What?" I asked, looking around at my friends. They just looked down at the ground, avoiding my gaze. Even Pinkie...

Why, Pinkie? I had trusted her to stay happy, even through the stuff that happened...why was she doing this? Applejack looked back up at me, her stare piercing into my own.

"Ry, this is serious. We need ta know if somethin' might set ya off. Please, sugarcube...what happened?" she pleaded with me. Oh, dang. I could deflect Pushy-AJ, but I was much weaker against Beggy-AJ...

"Do you not trust us?" Applejack added. _Hell_ no, not letting her think that. That did it. I know she was using it as a way to pump me for info, but I couldn't let a statement like that stand. She knew as well as I did that I trusted the hell out of all of them.

"...Of course I do, AJ..." I said softly. Her gaze softened and a small smile starting to form on her face. Fuck it. I couldn't say no to that face. "Okay, fine, fine. But...you have to promise not to be mad. I mean it."

Applejack nodded, along with the rest of her friends. Sarah, Twilight, Prime and Bonnie looked around nervously, afraid of what might happen. Lyra appeared horrified that I was about to tell them. Sorry, Mom, but this has to happen. It was better that they learn from me than find out on their own, anyway. Applejack flicked her hoof, prompting me to go on. I took a deep breath before speaking.

"Lyra...she's the creator of _OtherWorld_ ," I said clearly, not wanting them to misunderstand me. It took a moment for what I said to sink in, but the gasps that rang out let me know that they got it. I think Lyra was about to attempt to book it out of the castle, so I moved over to her and wrapped my arms around her minty little body. She tried squirming a little until she realized that it was just me and that she was safer in my arms than anywhere else at the moment. Sarah didn't like this one bit, but she didn't say anything. Proud of you, Bear.

"Buh...buwwat...that..." I heard Rarity stutter from behind AJ, who was frozen solid. Applejack.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close; we are sorry for the inconvenience. Would you like to send an error report? No. Those error reports don't do shit.

"Yeah. So, she's my creator and stuff. And also kind of my mom," I said, squeezing Lyra's body a little to prompt her to make a noise. Her plush little body squished softly under my fingertips as I found a place to tickle her.

_Squeak_

"Hey!" she whined at me, seemingly forgetting that she was supposed to be keeping quiet. Her voice traveled through the ears of every other pony in the room, triggering memories of the last episode of _OtherWorld_ they had seen. It was my mom's voice...so sweet and kind.

Twilight had something to be surprised about again. Sarah, Bonnie and I were the only ones who knew about the source of my mom's voice. The other ponies, however, were standing there and questioning their sanity. A pony they had been living right next to for all those years... _she_ had been the source of their joy, their excitement...their misery. She had been the birth of me, but also the death of me. From the looks slowly appearing on their faces, I got the feeling that they were only focusing on the 'death of me' thing.

"You...you killed him..." I heard Rainbow growl. She had moved forward quickly, joining Applejack in her spot in front of me. They were both giving Lyra hostile glares, which prompted me to stand up all the way, my mom in my arms. I would _not_ let them hurt her. No matter what she did to me, she was still my mother. Lyra gave a scared squeak and buried her face in my chest, trying to block out everything that was happening. Bon Bon was the next to move; she hopped between the two potential aggressors and I, cutting us off from each other.

"No, she didn't! It was Time Warner that made her do it!" Bon Bon shouted towards Dash and AJ, also causing Prime to flinch guiltily. They blinked and took a few steps back, but quickly regained their ground. This was getting way too tense...the urge to cover my ears and hide was starting to make itself known again. I could cheer up sad friends...but _mad_ friends were a different story. If my jokes couldn't do anything to deflect their rage, then I was pretty much useless.

"Hey, what was th-" I tried to make a joke, but more shouting cut me off.

"She didn't have to! She could have just refused!"

"Then they would have killed him **and** his family!"

"They can't control her head! She coulda refused both!"

"Guys, hey, I-"

"We would have lost the show!"

"We?! So _you_ were in on it, too?!"

I felt Lyra squeeze herself even tighter to me, her weak whimpers sending vibrations into my chest. I held her even tighter, this time to comfort myself. Around us, the ponies who weren't arguing were looking on in silence, their faces grim masks. Pinkie Pie was looking...a lot more gray than she was supposed to. That was the most forlorn look I've ever seen on her.

It didn't suit her. Not at all.

This...

This was too much. I didn't want to be here. I just wanted to be somewhere else. Anywhere that didn’t have people yelling at someone else over something I wasn't even mad about. Why did they keep pushing it? I clung to my mom, her spearmint scent filling my senses. Her familiar smell did a good deal to calm me down...but I still wanted to leave. I thought back to the moments I had so far that were calm.

There weren't many.

Hm...well, that walk to Rarity's shop was pretty nice. It wasn't peaceful, since I had a crowd of fans following after me and asking me to sign their merchandise, but it still made me happy. All of those ponies were so happy to see me and talk to me...I just wanted more of that. I wanted to be back on that dirt trail, talking to ponies and making them happy.

I didn't notice the purple tingling that was covering me and Lyra. I just closed my eyes tightly, images of the walk to Rarity's place filling my head. Lyra was starting to squirm around for some reason, but I held on tightly to her wiggly, warm body.

_The trail._

_The road to Rarity's._

_Calm._

_Nice._

I was muted to any senses outside of the vision in my head. Lyra was freaking out about something, but I held tightly. I needed her warmth; she was the only thing keeping me from running out of the room. She also needed me; I was the only thing protecting her, besides for Bonnie. Bon Bon...she was a good friend. As good a friend as Emily was a sister.

Emily...I missed her.

I-

"RYAN!" I heard Sarah's muffled voice call to me, before-

FLASH

  
  


****

  
  


FLASH

The ponies in the crystal room were temporarily blinded by a bright purple flash that lit the room like a little mini-sun. Fluttershy shrieked in surprise and could be heard fluttered around like a blind, scared little bird. Pinkie Pie started bouncing around the room, as if suddenly supercharged with more energy than she knew what to do with. Rainbow, Applejack and Rarity were left rubbing their eyes, trying to get over the large purple splotch that filled their vision. Bon Bon and Prime had been facing the other way at the time, so they were left confused at the suddenly vacancy of the spot behind them.

Twilight and Princess Luna, on the other hand, didn't need to recover from the flash. They were used to that kind of light. They knew exactly what kind of magical activity caused it. It was that knowledge that had floored them and reduced them to statues very similar to the kind that a certain pesky draconequus had been. They both couldn't believe it.

Ryan had just teleported.

But _how?_

Teleportation took _years_ to learn, even by very skilled unicorns. How did a human made of Twilight's magic...

"Oh..." mumbled Twilight under her breath. So, it _almost_ made sense. Ryan was literally made of Twilight's magic, so it should have come as no surprise that teleportation would have been familiar to him.

So, the only problem now was his habit of almost exploding, _especially_ when he used magic. Teleportation was not a light spell, either. It required a great deal of effort and mental preparation to achieve, and usually knocked out unicorns attempting it for the first time. Ryan had been knocked around while attempting basic levitation magic. Such an advanced spell, the focus required...surely, Ryan had destabilized.

Twilight took a deep breath and waited. She was waiting; waiting to die, waiting for the great light to envelope her and end her life and the lives of her friends. She almost wanted to cry. As an alicorn, she had been assuming that she would live for way too long, but this was too soon. She did her best not to think about her pending immortality, but she also pushed the thoughts of dying out of her mind as well. Now that it was staring right at her, she didn't know what to think; didn't know what to expect.

Would it hurt? Would she know it was happening? All of her senses firing at once, then cutting to sudden black...

But it never came. She blinked awake just as her friends regained their visions.

"RYAN! _NOOOOO!_ " Fluttershy squealed as she galloped over to the large scorch mark on the crystal floor. She searched around frantically through the lingering purple smoke, desperate to find any sign of her loving human friend. To her profound dismay, she could find nothing. Tears were already starting to spill over as she assumed the worst. "He's...he's...HE'S GONE!"

Rarity joined the search next to her panicking friend, her large blue eyes darting around. The search results were the same, not surprising the two Princesses watching the commotion. When the white fashionista couldn't find any trace of Ryan's continued existence, she joined Fluttershy in her bawling.

That was it.

Ryan was dead. He had exploded. The arguing had set him off and he exploded, taking poor Lyra along with him. The only trace left behind was a black mark, which they assumed was composed of the poor souls' burnt leftovers. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were looking at the remains in horror.

"W-we...we did...that was us..." Dash said through trembling lips. She couldn't believe it. She had killed Ryan. Her and Applejack...their arguing...it had set him off. The only thing she wanted to do was get Ryan away from the mare who had killed him to begin with, and now...

She was no better than Lyra. She _killed her friend_. He never even got to see her wear panties...

The thought of their future plans, no matter how unpleasant they would have been for her, brought tears to Dash's eyes. On trembling legs, she walked over and joined Fluttershy and Rarity in their sob session. Rainbow was normally not the mare you would see crying, but she had her moments when it was necessary. Applejack cried even less.

But even now, the orange cowpony was tempted. In her search of the honest answer, she had stressed Ryan to the point of destabilizing and blowing up. She couldn't even find peace in knowing that he would just return to his storyteller when he went; Lyra was reduced to magical ash along with him. He had nowhere to return to. He was gone. Dead and gone. Another loved one in her life, never to be seen again.

And this time, _it was her fault._

She couldn't handle it. She scuffed her hooves as she slunk over to the pile of bawling mares and joined right in. Twilight only then became aware of Pinkie's legs sticking out of the pile and Prime Warner wrapping himself around his crying friends; they were sobbing right along. The purple alicorn's patience was quickly running low. What about Bon Bon? Would she complete the huddle?

Nope, Bon Bon was looking at the pile with a look that fit how Twilight felt very well. At the same time, Twilight, Luna and Bon Bon facehoofed. This was just getting stupid, now.

"Girls," she stated sternly, trying to get their attention.

"BAAAAAWWWW~" was the unanimous response she received. Another day, another facehoof.

"Girls, seriously, he's-"

"BAAAAAWWWWWWWWW~" cut her off again. Now, she was getting mad.

"HE'S F-"

**"BBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW~"**

"PIE IS EXACTLY THREE!" Twilight shouted in her newly-developing Royal Canterlot voice. The ponies all stopped their crying and gasped loudly. How could Twilight say such a thing to them?

" _Am not!_ " Pinkie's muffled voice came from inside the pile. Twilight took a second to catch her breathe and accept the appreciative look that Princess Luna was giving her. She was learning from the best, after all.

"Girls-" Twilight started.

"Hey!" Twilight heard Prime call out, his voice equally muffled. She sighed and continued.

"- _and stallion_...Ryan's fine. I think...well, he didn't just blow up, at least," she tried to explain to the shivering group of sad ponies. Her response was the waving of a bunch of trembling, multi-colored forelegs as they pointed towards the burned area of the crystal floor.

"B-but...the mark!" Dash's voice lamented from somewhere Twilight couldn't see.

"That’s just the residue left behind after a high-energy teleport. Come on, gir-uh...guys, you've seen me teleport how many times, now? You should know what magical residue looks like when you see it," she explained to the mound of _baww_. The looks of realization spread across the faces of the ponies in the pile. Twilight sighed in relief when she saw this.

_Finally._

"But...if he's not gone...then where...?" Rarity's voice peeped up. She sounded much clearer, but that was mostly because the only part of her visible was her head; the rest of her was tucked securely inside the pile. This confounded Twilight for a moment. What comfort would shoving her backside into a pile of cuddling ponies provide? She decided not to think about it.

"I don't know. But...with how much magic he used to teleport...I'm worried..." Twilight said grimly. Her friends quickly understood where she was coming from, and realized what they needed to be doing. Twilight looked up at the larger alicorn next to her. Princess Luna had been awfully...quiet during the whole ordeal. She had yelled Ryan's name right before he had teleported, but didn't freak out once he was gone. Did she know something that Twilight didn't? "Princess Luna...do you think Ryan's okay?"

"Yes, he should be okay...for now. I haven't sensed any major disturbances in the magical field, so he hasn't exploded. That _doesn't_ mean we don't have to find him, though...his link may be gone, but an extreme event like this could still destabilize him," Luna explained, her voice giving hint to some concern. She was being outwardly strong, but Twilight could still sense the worry flowing from her.

They needed to find Ryan. He was still potentially explosive, even if the link had been removed.

The pile of _baww_ broke down as quickly as it could, the individual ponies having to work together to unwind their bodies. Applejack was the first to become completely free. She marched her orange booty up to the only three ponies to not participate in the pile and scuffed her hoof nervously in front of them.

"Uhm...Ahm right sorry 'bout that, sugarcube...Ah didn't mean ta blow things so outta the water, Ah jus' got...well, ya know..." she said to Bon Bon. The cream mare blinked in surprise, the annoyed expression she had been wearing sliding away. She was still mad, but at least Applejack realized that she had done wrong. Bonnie sighed and fought against the urge to fight some more.

"It's okay, AJ...I was just protecting Lyra. I think you were doing the same thing that I was, just for Ryan," she said calmly. Applejack forced a weak smile and nodded in appreciation. It wasn't every day she got into a fight, and it was even less often that the pony she fought with forgave her so easily. She was already trying to decide on what apple-based goodies to give to Bonnie. Just then, a small, scaled arm wrapped around her leg.

"Oh my Celestia, Applejack...you're _crazy_ , dude," Spike said before sniggering to himself. Twilight, Applejack and Luna stared at the chuckling young dragon. His eyes were half lidded and bloodshot. Twilight's maternal instinct to punish him flushed over her, while Applejack got the sudden urge to buck him into the nearest tree.

"Spike...what are you doing?" Twilight asked, her tone carrying the promise of certain doom if he answer that question incorrectly. The drake blinked lazily up at her, sighing and expelling some of the remaining purple smoke that he had been holding in his lungs. The ponies around him stared at his display in surprised horror.

"I didn't know you guys were into Hendrix, too~" he half-sang. Twilight's eye twitched at the same time as one corner of her mouth twitched up involuntarily, a giggle barely kept chained. Spike didn't know it, yet, but he was dead. Twilight was going to end his face. He looked around stupidly, expressing a question that all the ponies in the room had already been wondering.

"Hey, where's that Ryan dude?"

  
  


****

  
  


FLASH

In an instant, I was pulled from my trance by a strong force sucking me into a world of colors and movement. I didn't know what was happening. All I could see were shapes and streams. I thought I was being pulled through a tunnel of some kind, but that might have just been the rapid movement playing tricks on my eyes. My throat made raspy noises as I attempted to scream.

No sound came out. Or, if it did, the sound of the colors moving around me drowned it out. In my arms, Lyra was no longer trying to escape. She had firmly latched herself to my body. I was thankful she had done so, because I was sure I would have accidentally dropped her if she hadn't held onto me first. We were moving _that_ fast.

Then, as suddenly as I was pulled in, I was rudely spat out again. My ass hit the hard ground, sending both Lyra and me tumbling to the side. I held onto her, making sure not to roll on top of her as the momentum spent itself. After five or so rolls, I had slowed enough to stop on my back, looking up into the evening sky.

The stars were already visible at this time. They twinkled warmly at me, immediately filling me with a sense of familiarity. This scene felt so oddly close to my heart...

This is the same way my first date with Sarah had went. Looking up at the stars, all night long, just talking about whatever came to our minds. She had asked me a shit-load of questions about stuff she should have known already, but I guess that made sense now that I knew who she _really_ was. She really _didn't_ know anything about that stuff. I had been her link to that world, as well as her translator.

A groan under my chin brought me back to the real world.

 _Real world_...I guess this really was it.

"You okay...?" I coughed, noticing that the air was much drier than it had been only moments before. Around us, particles of dirt and dust floated down and settled. So, we were outside now.

How in the fuck? What the hell happened?

"Y-yeah..." I heard Lyra respond softly. She attempted to move, but my arms were still locking her in place. I quickly loosened my grip on her so that she could reclaim her freedom. Lyra quickly slid off, standing up onto her shaky hooves. I watched her as she dusted herself off. She was still very, very shaken from the previous situation. Her minty cheeks had dried tear trails running down them, and her eyes were still bloodshot. It was a tragic sight, seeing Mom like this.

"What...what just...?" I attempted to ask. Lyra blinked and looked down at me, a look a contemplation reaching her. She must have been just as confused about the whole thing as I was. Maybe not, though, because she spoke a few moments later.

"I _think_ you teleported," she explained simply. I blinked.

Uh...

Did I hear that right?

I think I did...

Holy. Shit. Balls.

"I...I did...?" I choked. Lyra shivered for some reason and nodded, no longer looking at me. Following her lead, I looked around. We were now on the exact same dirt road that I had been imagining in my head when the tunnel had pulled me in. This was the place...where I wanted to escape to. I thought it so hard, and now here we were. I guess I had accidentally pulled Lyra along for the ride, but it was probably for the best. She wouldn't have been safe in that room without me.

So...I could teleport. That was a thing. I had been wondering if that was going to be a thing, but I guess my answer was clear, now.

"That's...so... _awesome_..." I groaned as I pushed myself up onto my elbows. Looking around further, I noticed that there were no other ponies on the road with us. Judging from the position of the sun, I was guessing that it was getting pretty close to sundown. What, did these ponies not have any kind of night life?

Hmm...no, they did. Vinyl was proof of that.

 _Pony weed_. I would have to talk to her about getting hooked up with some of that.

"Why did you send us _here?_ " I heard my mom's voice ask me, breaking me out of my leaf-lust. I responded with a shrug and a bored tone of voice.

"I was walking around here this morning. This was probably the calmest memory I have so far of this place...so when they started arguing, I don't know...I just imagined being here, instead," I explained to her. Lyra took a few moments to process my words, nodding her head the whole time. "Sorry for taking you along."

"No, no...I, um...thank you..." she said, so softly that it was barely audible. I wanted to respond, but I was cut off by a sharp gasp from behind me. Turning my head, I could see a young mare, staring at me with stars in her eyes. Oh, good, a fan.

"Ryan!" she exclaimed. Okay, yeah, time to go. Lyra and I were talking; we didn't need my... _our_ fans swarming us. The lights from the surrounding houses started to flick on, giving me a sense of panicked dread. I stood up to my full height, noticing for the first time that I wasn't even dizzy. Speaking of which...

"I didn't destabilize..." I whispered to myself. A feeling of euphoria flooded through me, sending tingles from my toes to my fingertips. Lyra was giving me a strange look, but I didn't care.

I didn't almost blow up!

I didn't even feel dizzy!

I could teleport!

I...

I-

"I love you," I told Lyra suddenly. The minty mare just shivered at my sudden forwardness and backed up a little bit. Around us, ponies were beginning to gather around, their bits of unsigned merchandise secured adorably in their mouths. Oops, we were taking too much time standing here.

"Oh...mkay..." she mumbled, scuffing her hoof on the ground. Her flustered look was adorable, even with her being my mom and all. I just rolled my eyes. With a swift motion, I swung down and scooped her up into my arms, eliciting another surprised squeak from the squeaky pony.

_"Eep!"_

"Do you know somewhere we can go? It's getting a bit...uh...'crowdy' around here," I asked the unicorn shaking against my chest. Her fearful front disappeared quickly as my body heated her. Lyra, despite her reservations, quickly chose to snuggle up against me just as she had done in the castle.

"Uhm...Bon Bon and I share a house, but Time Warner blew a hole...hmm, actually, the repairs should be done by now," she rambled more to herself than to me. I tried to listen, but the ever-growing crowd had begun chanting my name.

"Ryan!"

"We love you, Ryan!"

"...Hugs?"

"What's your secret fetish? I'm playing a game with my friend and neither of us know!"

That last one made me choke a little. Oh, yeah, there was more than one copy of that card game. Ponies everywhere had that kind of access to my personal shit...

Fuck.

"Burn that card!" I shouted as I suddenly took off running, jumping as lightly as I could over the crowd in front of me. The last time I jumped like I normally would, I went a mile into the air. Maybe a mile, I don't remember. But I didn't want to go that high with a scared pony-mom in my arms.

I did the right thing for once.

The mini-jump did indeed send me much higher than I could ever jump back on Earth. I cleared the tallest pony's head by a good five feet or so, and landed safely on the other side of the crowd. Before they could realize what happened, I took off running at a good speed. I wasn't going as fast as I could, but it more than enough to lose the pile of fans.

"Where to?" I asked down to the trembling mare clinging to me. She looked scared for her life again, but I was there for her to hug. The way she calmed down felt so familiar...

Lyra was just as huggy as I was. My whole family was super-affectionate, and I now knew why. Lyra made us in her image, so _of course_ she would glorify her favored form of love.

That...was kind of cute, honestly. As creepy as it was that Lyra pretty much did a self-insert of herself into my mom's role, and made me like the same things she did, I was still happy about it. I loved hugs. Hugs are the best. If a pony made me love hugs, then I should reward her with just that:

More hugs.

And so I did. As I ran like a bat outta hell, my arms secured her into place against me. She returned the affection, though I feel she was using me more as a seat-belt. That was okay with me; as long as she was safe.

"J-just keeping going forward until you see an-AH! You passed it!" she squeaked, squirming a bit in my arms as she attempting to point her leg in the right direction. I skidded to a halt and went back the way I came. This time, I chose to walk. I was waaay out of danger of being caught by that fan swarm again, so there was really no reason to run. Plus, I know that if I did start sprinting, I would just keep passing the house over and over in a comedic fashion. No comedy for old Ryan, nope...

 _...Okay_ , I was tempted to do it just to be silly. But I didn't. Yay, me?

"Right there, the one with the leftover caution tape," Lyra told me with a blush reaching her cheeks. Maybe she was embarrassed about having her house fixed? I didn't think there was anything to be embarrassed about, you can't predict or avoid having crazy stallions wrecking your house.

"So...you said Time did this. What happened?" I asked as I approached the pretty little cottage that Lyra and Bon Bon apparently lived in together. Were they roommates? Family?

...Lovers? Huh. Fluffy midget horse lesbians. Cute.

"Oh, uh...yeah, Time Warner _happened_. Flew through one wall and out the other." My breath caught in my throat at her words.

_Time Warner._

_Flying._

_Crashing through her house._

"Oooh...th-that was me...heh...sorry 'bout that..." I admitted, rubbing my arm sheepishly. I hope she wouldn't hate me for forcing an early renovation. How much did she spend on repairs? Shit, that makes two houses I fucked up with that belch...

What surprised me what the lack of Ryan-hating going on. In its place, Lyra responded by giving a weak giggle. I looked down at her in confusion, my expression asking her what my words failed to.

"I know, Ryan. I heard what happened when Bon Bon was telling Princess Celestia what happened at the castle," she explained to me. I let out a lungful of air that I hadn't realized I had been holding.

 _Whew_. Mom doesn't hate me. Yay.

"Here we are. Um... _Ta-dah_?" she chuckled as we approached the little cottage door. It only reached up to about my chest, so I would definitely need to crouch to enter. I was just glad that the ceiling looked high enough for me. It was strange that the door was so low, but the ceiling so high.

"It's adorable," I told her. She smiled a little wider and used her minty magic to open the door. Once the wooden door had swung open enough, she gestured for me to enter. I grinned and stood my ground, using my arm to point her to the open entrance.

"Ladies first, ma'am," I said softly, a warm smile on my face. Lyra blinked in surprise, staring up at me with a strange look on her face. With a lifted eyebrow and a mirthful smirk, she followed my lead and entered her home. I was proud of myself for showing my mom some sort of respect.

I just hope she didn't think I was hitting on her or some shit...for some stupid reason, my mind starting playing some of the dirty things Sarah had said to me during our time together, but in Lyra's familiar voice.

_Shiver_

I stepped inside after her and closed the door slowly. I had to be much more careful with my magic...I didn't feel the throbbing after I teleported, but I still couldn't trust myself. If I shut the door as hard as I was used to, who knows what might happen. Maybe the door would fly off and kill Lyra in the face. Maybe the house would implode and send us both to another dimension. Of course, I could just spontaneously combust and kill us both. Like I said, who knows?

"So...ignore the wood shavings and the stain, if you don't mind. It's been a bit of a day..." Lyra sighed as she collapsed onto a cushion. I looked around at the state of the room. It was mostly clean now, but I could tell some serious shit had gone down earlier. A table was off to the side with a giant crack in it, and there were only three chairs to its four-chair capacity. Did she have another chair? The fragments of wood that littered the ground and matched the color of the chairs told me that she _had_ another chair.

Had something happened before Time crashed through the walls? I wanted to ask her, but I felt it might have been best to give her some time to cool off. She had been through enough for one day. Still, a lot of progress was made in only a few hours. She was no longer afraid of me, we understood our problem a bit more, and we could work towards a solution. The main problem now was getting my friends and Sarah not to hate her.

As a way to help cool her down, I walked over to where she had collapsed and sat down next to her. She blinked an eye open sleepily, watching my every move. Instead of the fear and panic I had seen in her large golden eyes from before, now the sight of me seemed to relax her. She even smiled a little bit. The sight of her happiness caused a sense of relief and joy to surge down my spine.

"Hey, Ryan..." she said softly up to me. I let the heavenly voice of my mother float through my head, taking me back to a time not too long ago when I thought it belonged to a human like me.

Aww, I made myself sad...

Lyra noticed my sudden change in mood and picked her head up, watching me with her golden plates. A look of concern touched her facial features, but barely noticed it. I had been looking down at my hands, think about just how strange everything had turned out to be.

I was the only real human. Or...was I?

"Are there more?" I asked suddenly. Lyra flinched, but kept her eyes locked on me.

"More...what?"

"Humans. Am I the only one? Sarah said something about you seeing other worlds and basing your dreams off of them. Have you...seen more humans like me? Do you know if they're real?" I didn't notice that a steady stream of questions was flowing from my lips at a rate that would have been impossible for her to answer, had she tried. Instead, she sat there patiently until my rambling ran itself out. Finally, after another few minutes of one-sided interrogation, I halted and took a breath.

"...I don't know," was all she said. I looked at her, a pang of disappointment hitting me.

"You don't...?" I asked, but it was just to give me time to let it sink in. Lyra just shook her head, her green and white mane flopping from side to side.

"Nope. I just thought I had been dreaming this whole time...but then Princess Luna mentioned something about...um, I think she called it _lurksleeping_ or something like that. I had _no idea_ what she was talking about, and still don't. Am I seeing another world? I...I'm not sure...I wish I could tell you more, Ryan, but I really just don't know..." she said glumly, her gaze moving down to the floor. Oh, shit. She was feeling guilty. It wasn't her fault, she knew as much as I-...no, scratch that. She didn't even remember _me_ , so I knew more than her about some things. Time to move onto something else.

"So...how are my folks doing? Emily?" I asked, looking up at the ceiling. The memories of what I had felt flashed through my mind, bringing the emotional pain back to the surface. I didn't want them to be sad. And if they were sad without knowing why, then they couldn't have any sort of closure. They would be wondering, forever, what they were so sad about.

"So they're your family..." she mumbled to herself. "They're doing...not so good. In my dreams, they're always so sad...but it's like they don't know what to be sad about."

Huh. That's the same as what I had felt. Did we...

"Did we share the same dream? I mean, back at the castle? I don't really know what happened...one minute, I was floating around and feeling my family being sad, and the next, I was awake with Sarah's hoof on my dick," I told her. She blinked a little at that last part, but quickly got over it and thought to herself.

"Uhm...maybe? They said something about a link. If you came from my mind...then maybe we were still connected, somehow? And they removed it..." Lyra's eyes grew wide as something clicked inside her head. She went deathly quiet, her lips mouthing the same words over and over again. I couldn't hear any sound come out, so I tried getting her attention.

"Sorry, can't hear ya. What's that?" I inquired. Lyra's golden eyes shot up to me, but the tears running out of them shocked me. She was trembling again. Something she had realized had brought her to tears in a matter of moments.

"You can't come back..." she whispered painfully. I thought over what she had meant, but the point quickly became clear.

 _Oh my god_. The thing I had felt the first time I had knowingly drifted away from my body...that link to her that would pull me back if I were to explode...it was _gone_. If I blew up, that was it. Would my essence just float around aimlessly for eternity? Would I be...aware of it? That thought scared the shit out of me. Being conscious, but unable to move or do _anything_ while I drifted around forever.

"Ugh...gonna be sick..." I groaned, clenching my stomach as it gave a painful lurch. Once again, I felt the need to puke. This time, a little star-shaped purple thing fell out when I started coughing. Great, I was doomed to expel random purple shit whenever I got upset.

A warm body wrapped itself around me, pushing the need to hurl away from me. Lyra had sat up and clung herself to my side, sharing her heat with me once again. The main difference this time was that I was the one being comforted.

She was so warm...and minty...it made me feel so much better.

"Thanks," I said softly to her, even going as far as to give her a warm smile. She smiled right back at me and rubbed my back with her hoof. It was something my mom did all the time, but with hands. Her hoof wasn't bad, though. Just...different.

"Hey, hey, it's not all bad," she assured me. I looked into her eyes, looking for any sign of doubt. I wasn't Applejack, so I couldn't tell for sure, but what she said actually felt sincere. So what was good about this situation?

Let's see...I had friends. Yeah, lot of friends! In only a few days, I had a close group of best friends. They stood up for me, I stood up for them, and we would do anything for each other. What else?

I had some familiar loved ones here. Lyra and Sarah were here with me. My mom and my girlfriend were somehow part of this crazy world of technicolor ponies, but that was good. They could help me in my transition of moving from one world to another. In the same way I had helped Sarah get used to Earth, she could help me get used to being here. And mom was just a loving person, all of the time.

I had fans. I could make ponies happy! That in itself was a gift. I loved making peoples' days, so this was a prime chance to be just what I always wanted to be. They were a bit clingy and liked to follow me around, but they were mostly harmless. Adorable, even.

The link might be broken...but judging from my lack of exploding upon teleporting, that also had its upside. Would I be able to use magic without risking the end of the world now? Oh, I hope so.

"I guess it's _not_ all bad," I said to the loving unicorn on my side. She smiled and snuggled against me a little more. The warmth she radiated just brought a smile back to my own face.

Though, something was still bugging me about the severing of the link. Before, I still had the chance to go back to Lyra's head if something went wrong. I couldn't do that anymore. So...

"What's going to happen to the show?" I asked her suddenly. Lyra froze for a few moments before looking up at me with a look of disbelief written across her features.

"The what?" she asked.

"You know, _OtherWorld_. The show you made. If I'm out here, and can't get back, what's going to happen to that?" I finished. Lyra just sat there, her left eye twitching.

Then, she bopped me on the head with her marshmallow hoof. It didn't hurt, but it did surprise me to an extent.

"Hey! What was that for?" I demanded, rubbing my head to alleviate the sting. Lyra just made a ' _Hmph_ ' sound at me and turned her muzzle to the ceiling in indignation.

"Ryan, last time I worried about the show over you, I lost every memory of you. _The show doesn't matter_. What matters now is that you're here, and you're safe," she stated firmly. I stared at her, mouth wide-open. Lyra was willing to give up her entire show, just because of what had happened. No worrying, no trying to work around it, she was just done.

This mare.

This _fucking_ mare.

"I love you, mom," I said, this time with a wide smile on my face. Tears threatened to appear, but the sheer amount of pride I was feeling for her outweighed the sappy emotions.

Lyra gave a sheepish grin in return and snuggled even harder against me. I returned her enthusiastic cuddling and then some.

This.

This right here. This was what made all of the craziness worth it.

Without another word, I moved back a little bit so that I could use her cushion as a pillow. She pressed herself against me and snuggled up in the best platonic show of affection I think I'd ever received.

Hugs are awesome.


	15. S1E15: Starting to Settle

Bon Bon was tired.

Bon Bon was _really_ tired.

Bon Bon was tired to the point that she started blacking out while awake. She would be walking along the morning streets of Ponyville one moment, then on a completely different road the next. Her eyelids were waging a losing battle to stay open, and her unsteady gait stood as a testament to instability. There were only a few other ponies on the streets with her, which she was thankful for; she was fairly certain that she would have simply tried to walk through anypony that got in her way. Her spatial awareness was worsening every additional second she fought to stay awake.

Behind her, the only other conscious ponies trudged their way along the dirt road. Princess Luna was in second position behind Bon Bon, and remained the only one fully awake. Her eyes slid around, taking in the surrounding area with hawk-like vigilance. On her back, held in place by her large blue wings, Prime slept soundly...or _mostly_ soundly. Every so often, he would let out little whimpers. Whenever he did, Luna would sigh and ignite the magic in her horn, and Prime would subside. From this, the other ponies in the group figured that he was having a constant nightmare. Prime had been the only one who had been allowed to go to sleep; he had been through quite a bit the day before. The ponies knew just how badly he had taken his older brother's imprisonment.

Behind Princess Luna came Twilight and her friends. With the exception of Pinkie Pie, none of them could walk a straight line easily. The pink party pony had managed to keep herself going with a seemingly endless supply of sugary confections that she somehow kept stored in her poofy mane. Her friends had tried to replicate her feat, but quickly ran out of steam in the face of diabetic overload. The sugar high that had kept the rest of them awake had quickly heralded the crash that almost knocked them out. Pinkie apparently had no limit to her process sugar, and endlessly feasted on her sweets. Throughout the night, she had bounced circles around her weakening buddies.

Twilight had cast a rejuvenation spell on herself multiple times, but the time that it lasted grew progressively shorter. Essentially, it was like espresso, and Twilight’s body had gotten used to it over time. Her eyelids sagged, her vision reduced to a slim arc as her hooves dragged on the path. Behind the young alicorn, Fluttershy and Rarity had resorted to leaning up against one another in order to stay upright and awake. Fluttershy would have usually shied away from such contact with another pony, but her determination to find Ryan had inspired an upwelling of courage. Rarity had focused her magic on a brush that she repeatedly ran through her long, luxurious mane. The comforting motions might have put any other pony to sleep even faster, but Rarity purposely alternated the brush-strokes, messing up her mane as she fixed it. In short, she created work for herself to keep her mind busy.

Behind those two mares, Applejack and Rainbow Dash brought up the rear of the pack. Dash had, at some point, gathered a cloud for herself to lay on and connected it to Applejack's tail with rope. Applejack grunted in irritation; for the last few hours, she had been used as a mode of transportation for the lazy pegasus. Rainbow wasn't asleep, but the motion of the cloud she lay on was quickly lulling her in that direction. Finally, Applejack could take it no longer, and she stopped and dislodged the rope from her tail.

"Why can't ya just _fly_ , Dash?" she seethed through clenched teeth. Her response from the prismatic pony was a shrug, the movement disturbing the floating cloud. The orange cowpony grunted and rolled her eyes. "We've had ta walk around all night, there's _no reason_ Ah have to be yer lead."

In front of them, the ears of the others in the group swiveled to catch the first interesting event in hours. Normally, none of them- except for Rarity- enjoyed drama. However, they were all just wishing for something to listen to in order to keep their mind off their exhaustion. Their potential amusement was ended with a loud snore from the cloud-riding blue mare. The sight of Applejack's bulging veins could probably have been seen from the moon.

 **"DASH!** " Applejack shouted, startling her friend into consciousness. Rainbow Dash yelped, muscles surging into motion in an attempt to get her away from the sudden noise.. This effort only resulted in her falling off of her cloud and hitting the dirt road with a loud _'Thump'_.

"Uggh...." she groaned, wrapping her legs around her belly and massaging it. Her impact with the ground sent up a dusty cloud that floated into the faces of the observing ponies, causing them to cough.

"Rainbow Dash, stay awake! Applejack, keep her awake! We still need to find him!" declared Princess Luna, sparing the contending ponies the barest of glances. The two offenders flinched, but nodded in compliance. They had previously tried arguing with the Lunar Princess, but she was decidedly not in a negotiating mood. Her mate was missing and could possibly die at any time. Rainbow Dash hopped back onto her cloud, but let the rope remain where it had landed.

The small herd had spent all night searching for poor Ryan. They had searched the entire surrounding area, up and down. Short of entering individual residences, they had pretty much turned the entire town upside down in their efforts.

They found nothing. Not _one thing_ that would clue them in.

...Well, that wasn't completely true. They knew that Ryan and Lyra had appeared _somewhere_ in Ponyville. The only reason they knew this was because they had run into a large gathering of Ponyville residents almost as soon as they left the castle. Ponies were running around with _OtherWorld_ merchandise in their mouths, calling out Ryan's name. Apparently, he had exited the teleportation stream with Lyra in his arms, but had run off at an amazing speed once he had become surrounded by fans.

That was good. Ryan was okay. Lyra was fine. He was in good enough health to take off running.

Bon Bon let out another sigh. She really wanted to find out where they had gone, but where else could they look? They had checked the lake, but nopony was there. The same could be said about the field. Ryan could have possibly run into the Everfree, but Lyra wouldn't have gone in willingly. Had the two separated? Probably not; Ryan had been very huggy right before he teleported. Chances are, he latched onto her for comfort. She wouldn't have been able to get rid of him had she tried.

"Princess Luna, we need some rest...I'm sure Ryan's fine. Didn't he spend a lot of his time alone in the woods?" asked Rarity as she rubbed her aching eyes. Dark bags had gathered under them, a condition she lamented greatly. She was always so careful with how much sleep she got. This search and rescue effort had thrown her whole cycle off. Now, she would have to go the whole day without rest just to make sure her next sleep would be during the normal times.

Luna whipped around, giving the rest of the ponies a fierce glare. They shrunk back a bit, but their lack of energy made their fear look half-hearted. They didn't even have the focus to be intimidated. The dark blue alicorn noticed this after a moment. With a sigh and a shake of her head, she relented.

"That is... _fine_...You all can go rest. I, however, will continue looking. Lady Rarity, Ryan didn't spend time in the woods without me. What was presented on the show was merely a time in which I wasn't visible. I never stopped watching over him..." Princess Luna explained to the group behind her. Bon Bon had turned around, her mood brightening slightly when the Princess had accepted their request for sleep.

Rarity scuffed her hooves, still a bit ashamed that she was giving up on finding Ryan. Luna walked over to the down-trodden mare and placed her left wing on the other mare's back, having to shift Prime's weight entirely onto her right wing.

"Do not feel bad, Rarity. You searched hard. All of you have. You can not be blamed for the physical limitations your bodies suffer that mine does not. Please, go get some sleep, but return once you are all well-rested," Luna asked, an unusually motherly tone evident in her voice. The younger ponies all looked up and smiled in relief, save for Prime. He let out a particularly happy snort as he snuggled into Luna's warm fur. She lifted an eyebrow and shrugged towards the snoozing stallion. "And would somepony find him someplace to drool on that does _not_ include my back?"

Twilight had to think for barely a moment before she came up with a solution. With her violet magical aura, she lifted a protesting Rainbow Dash from her cloud and set her on the ground. As soon as had displaced Dash, she cast her familiar cloud-walking spell on Prime and lifted him onto the cloud. The stallion snuggled into the cloud as if was his long-lost mother. All of the ponies except for Dash and Luna let out an _'Awww!'_ at his unconscious antics. Rainbow Dash just crossed her front legs and pouted, watching with envy as Prime snuggled himself into _her_ cloud-bed.

Before anypony else could object, Bon Bon took the other end of the rope in her mouth and walked off with it. She was the closest one to Prime, besides Lyra. Since Lyra was still technically missing, it was up to the candy-colored mare to watch over him. So, with Prime in tow, she made her way to her home.

Bon Bon hoped that the repairs were finished...

Rainbow Dash followed along behind her, grumbling the whole way. She might have given up her cloud for the moment, but she was most _certainly_ going to claim it once it was vacant. It was _her_ cloud, after all; shaped perfectly for her small pegasus body. Prime was a bit too large for it. His legs dangled freely towards the back of the comfortable cumulus.

The group they had left behind let out a nearly-synchronous yawn. Pinkie started to jitter and shake, which the others had come to learn was her way of showing that she was almost running on empty. The pink mare stopped bouncing and pulled yet another tray from inside her mane. This time, however, there were no cupcakes.

"W-wha...?" Pinkie gasped, her eyes shooting wide open. She couldn't believe it. The thought of what the empty platter meant shook her to her very core. No, it couldn't be! Anything but that!

_She was out of sweets!_

Before any of her friends could blink, she was gone. In her wake, she left a pink-colored cloud that vaguely resembled her shape. The cloud grew narrower in the direction of Sugarcube Corner, hinting that that's where she had taken off to.

"...WellllaaaAAAAHHHHhhh..." yawned Rarity, "I agree with Pinkie. I do need to catch up on some things, before I can resume our search. When shall we meet up?" The ponies around her blinked wearily, their brains struggling to do much of anything, much less think.

Princess Luna lifted her hoof to her mouth, running over an answer in her head. "Well...I'm going to be around until I can find Ryan, and having more eyes in more locations would be beneficial...how about you all just join back in when you're ready?" she suggested. This was more than acceptable for the sleep-deprived search team. They didn't have a set time to sleep, so they wouldn't feel rushed.

Still, the thought of Ryan, lost and alone, would wear on their minds...

Finally, after a whole night of searching for their lost friends, the rest of the group disbanded. Twilight trudged along towards her castle, stumbling every few steps. She was jealous of Luna's ability to stay awake for so long...would she inherit that ability at some point? It would have been super-useful recently...

The purple princess lowered her head to her hoodie, sniffed, and recoiled. It stank pretty badly...

She had forgotten she had been wearing it up until last night. She had snuggled into it whenever she grew discouraged, the feeling of the soft fabric filled her with determination. Ryan was her friend, and needed to be found. No longer was she just a fan; she was his full-fledged friend now. Something she only dreamed about most nights had become reality.

The only thing she could ask for now was for some peace...since he had arrived, it had been nothing but tense moments, strange moments, or just general silliness. So much had happened in only three days that Twilight tried nipping herself awake every so often, certain that she must be dreaming. The more time passed, though, the more real everything was seeming.

Well, there was another thing she could ask for...but Princess Luna would never allow it.

A blush and a small, devious smile grew on Twilight's face as she shuffled her way back home. Any pony that witnessed it would have probably been unnerved by the smile, but it had been hidden by her sagging violet mane.

****

On the other side of town, Applejack walked towards Sweet Apple Acres with as much focus as she could muster. Inside, she was seething at herself. During the last few days, because of all the craziness with Ryan, she had been neglecting her duties on the farm. She knew that her family was well-equipped to handle things for awhile without her, but it was still unfair to ask them to. Big Macintosh might possibly overdo it again and hurt himself, and he _was_ irreplaceable. If Big Mac got hurt, everyone else would have to pick up his slack; while it was theoretically possible, and the Apple clan had done it before, it had exacted a brutal toll.

Applejack would need to take a quick nap, then get straight back to work so that her big brother didn't hurt himself. As an apology for being so neglectful, maybe she could let Apple Bloom play with Ryan for the day...

 _Ryan_. She hadn't found him yet. She didn't want to tell Princess Luna that she couldn't look anymore, so she didn't. It hurt her at her core to be dishonest like that to another pony, but her family took priority. Despite the taste left in her mouth from abandoning a friend, Applejack knew that Ryan regrettably came second. She would look for him when she could, but her responsibilities came first.

****

Rarity and Fluttershy went back to the Carousel Boutique together. Fluttershy wanted to remain close by, and as much as she was embarrassed to admit, didn't have the strength to get back to her cottage. She had arranged for one of her other close friends to take care of her animals while she was busy with Ryan, but she still worried. Angel Bunny could handle the feeding for a few days...right?

Rarity gladly let her best friend stay over at her house while the search for Ryan continued. Even if she had been opposed to the idea, she doubted she would have had the energy to argue about it. Fluttershy sometimes stayed over after their spa visits, so they already had sleeping arrangements settled.

"We'll find him...right?" Rarity heard her quiet friend ask. The white mare looked over to the shy pegasus and sighed sadly. She knew that this whole situation took a lot out of Fluttershy. As soon as she heard her scream back when she thought Ryan had exploded, Rarity knew that she would have take up the role of supporter. While the fashionista pondered a proper response with her cloudy mind, Fluttershy hopped up onto the large couch against the wall and snuggled in for some rest.

"I'm sure he's fine, Fluttershy. You know how Ryan is, he's probably off telling jokes to some foals," she assured her friend. At that thought, Fluttershy smiled warmly and cuddled the couch, promising herself that she would give the silly man a hug whenever he showed up again. She couldn't say it to anypony, but she really liked Ryan. Like, _really_ liked Ryan. She always had, in some way or another. But what did it mean?

Was it just maternal? Was it...more?

She was unsure how to handle that tingly feeling she was experiencing, and asking the others about it was out of the question. So she did the only thing she felt comfortable with. She _hid_ those feelings...even from herself, most of the time.

Fluttershy had so far been able to distract herself from her affections by acting as a mother figure towards the tall human. From taking care of his injuries... _when she could_...to trying to keep him out of trouble, she watched over him in the same way she would one of her animals.

That strategy worked better than she hoped.

But now that she could stop and think about how kind he had been to all of her friends, and Ponyville in general, the tingle came creeping back up. The surfacing of affections she felt brought a blush to her face that was only barely spotted by Rarity.

"Are you...alright?" Rarity asked her friend. Fluttershy, in an attempt to escape conversing about her problem, made a loud snoring sound that she hoped would convince Rarity to leave her alone. The obviously-fake snore hadn't fooled anypony. However, Rarity, being the polite and understanding mare that she was, figured that Fluttershy just wanted to be left alone.

She let out a sigh and turned to go to her own room. Sleeping really wasn't best for her right now, given her messed-up sleep schedule, but to Tartarus with it.

She was going to sleep, and it was going to be _glorious_.

****

Bon Bon arrived home a little while later with both Prime Warner and Rainbow Dash in tow. At some point, Dash had pushed Prime over just enough so that she could share the increasingly-crowded cloud cushion with him. She almost jumped right off when Prime rolled over and startled cuddling the stuffing out of her. Though, after a few moments, she conceded and let him. He was only sleeping, after all.

That didn't stop her from growing a blush, though.

The mare in front of them would have smirked at the display, had she not been the one stuck pulling their two lazy flanks around town. Instead, she just huffed and forced herself to not lose it and toss them both off. Prime had done nothing wrong, besides for maybe bringing his brother to town with him.

 _That_ would probably be his only wrongdoing. Even then, it wasn't as if Bon Bon knew whether or not he had a choice in the matter. Time Warner owned the company, if she wasn't mistaken. Did Prime have to do whatever his older brother said?

And, now that Time was being held, what would happen to OW? The sleeping stallion behind her might very well be unemployed if he couldn't find a way to keep everything up and running. Would he be able to handle that? Bon Bon had known Prime pretty well for years now. He didn't really visit, but he did keep in touch through letters. From the impression he gave, the cream-colored mare was uncertain whether or not he had enough experience to run a company on his own.

He was more of a free spirit, kept alive through his love of stories and making friends to tell those stories to. He didn’t have a destination _per se_ ; he lived for the journey and the experiences he had along the way. Every time they got a letter from him, there was always some sort of lengthy tale added to it, relaying an incident he had been through. The very thought of Prime being locked in an office, filling out paperwork and making important financial decisions, all day, everyday...

...it almost brought a tear to Bon Bon's eye.

With the previous irritation she had been feeling towards Prime Warner ebbing away, Bon Bon clicked the door open and moved wearily into her house. The lack of a breeze on her coat let her know that the house had indeed been repaired completely. It was really nice of the Princesses to pay for all of the damage Time had caused the day before. With all of the damage Ponyville suffered on a normal basis, those expenses piled up quickly. It was just lucky for everypony in town that the Royal Re-builders were dirt-cheap.

No other town nearby needed its own group of construction workers on call all hours of the day, but Ponyville was special. It also helped that the ponies that lived there also loved to chip in and lend a hoof when it came to fixing things.

Bon Bon tugged the two pull-behinds into the house with her, the cloud giving off a puff as it clipped the frame of the door. Rainbow Dash groaned as she realized she would soon have to get up and move her own weight around. Prime just snorted a bit in his sleep. The earth -pony mare dropped the rope from her mouth and sighed in relief, the feeling of being much lighter coursing through her aching jaw muscles. The cloud, now free from its hitch, floated aimlessly around the room.

Bon Bon was _tired_. She needed something _warm_ to drink. Maybe...maybe something warm and _sweet_.

The tea. It was exactly what she needed. To her surprise, the smell of her tea wafted around the room, bathing the homecomers in its comforting aroma. It smelled exactly like Hearth's Warming Eve.

Bon Bon smiled and moved her way into the kitchen, her nose guiding her to the lovely scent. Why did the room still smell like her tea? Maybe, when Prime spilled his tea, it has soaked into the surrounding area? No, that couldn't be it; this tea smelled new and warm.

Ugh, thinking is not easy to do when tired.

Despite her ponderings, she still found the newly-made pot of sweet tea without any problems. It had just been sitting there on the kitchen counter. Bon Bon ran through her foggy memories over and over, trying to recall where she had left the tea that she had made the day before. Oddly enough, the kitchen counter didn't feel familiar.

"...Hrm...h-huh? _Urgh..._ " Prime groaned out, the scent of the delectable beverage stirring him from his dreaming. Beside him, Dash was being oddly quiet. Her eyes were locked on something that Bon Bon couldn't see. As far as the weary earth pony was concerned, Rainbow Dash was just staring at nothing again. She had no reason to suspect otherwise, right?

With shaky hooves and chattering teeth, Bon Bon poured herself a cup of tea and fixed it the way she liked it.

...well, _maybe_ she added a little more sugar than normal.

Don't judge, she was exhausted and deserved some sweetness.

Once her tea was perfect, Bon Bon made her way back to where the others were located. Along the way, she accidentally stumbled over a foot that had found itself in her way.

"Oops, sorry, Bonnie," came a masculine voice.

"No, no, it's fine. Tea's safe, that's all that matters," Bon Bon tried to joke. It came out sounding half-hearted. Regardless of her lack of enthusiasm, the voice responded with an honest chuckle. What an odd, yet familiar sound it was.

"Mhmm...what're ya up to?" inquired the voice. As tired as Bon Bon was, she was not about to be rude. It was a simple question, after all.

"Oh, just out looking for Ryan and Lyra. They disappeared last night and we've been looking since then," the candy mare explained, her speech followed by a loud yawn. The room went silent for a few moments, the sound of muffled giggling drawing Bon Bon from her yawn. Why was the voice laughing at her? No, wait...that wasn't just one voice. That was two different voices, the other sounding much more bubbly and feminine.

How strange.

" _Soooo_...find them yet?" was the next question to be asked. The obvious answer rang inside Bon Bon's head, causing her to look to the ground in exhausted disappointment. She let out a little sigh and scuffed her hoof, still looking away from the voice talking to her.

"No...we couldn't find a thing. We know that they reappeared somewhere in Ponyville, but except for that...nothing. It's like they disappeared. I was starting to wonder if Ryan tried to teleport again, but there wasn't any more purple smoke...so I think they're still around, somewhere," said Bonnie dejectedly. The voices stopped laughing, for some reason. This time, the feminine voice spoke to her. It carried a tone of concern and apologetic sweetness. The voice was much more familiar than the masculine one...but _why?_

" _Aww_ , it's okay Bonnie. I'm sure you'll find them soon enough," assured the soft voice. Wait...

How did they both know her name? Why did they sound so familiar? What was-

Rainbow Dash broke out of her stupor just in time to answer Bon Bon's questions.

"RYAN!" she shouted, her wings flapping once and propelling her from the cloud. The cumulus cushion shot backwards, taking poor Prime Warner with it. He let out a yelp, his hooves scrambling to get a hold on the strange material. Being a unicorn, he was still not used to touching raw cloud. While asleep, he assumed it was just a really soft bed. Now that he was awake, however, the true nature of his surroundings came crashing... _fluffing_ down on him. The cloud-based stallion was taken for a ride as his vehicle bounced against every wall of the house like a deranged bumper-car trying to mimic a pinball, the beleaguered unicorn holding on for dear life.

While Prime had his cloud adventure, Bon Bon was holding her breath. She didn't want to believe that Rainbow had just yelled that. It couldn't have been...but the facts added up. The masculine voice, the feminine voice, the tea...the fact that she never searched her _own house_ for the missing parties.

She had to believe it, but she _really_ didn't want to. The implications of her revelation...she would never, _ever_ live it down if it was true.

The sound of Ryan yelped and the chair he was on crunching under his weight confirmed Bon Bon's worst fears. The earth pony turned her gaze slowly to where the sounds of commotion were coming from.

_Yep. There went another chair._

Laying on the ground below her was the one known as Ryan Burbank, who was currently being hug-assaulted by the previously sleeping pegasus mare. Wasn't she supposed to be tired?! Next to the two locked in their scuffle sat her roommate, Lyra Heartstrings. The mint-green unicorn gave her best friend a sheepish smile as she blew on her tea. Her mane was slightly messy, a sure sign that she had just woken up from what Bon Bon suspected was a restful sleep.

They had been here _the whole time._

They had been sleeping soundly while the rest of her friends searched _all night_ for them.

Bon Bon had had a short discussion with them without realizing that they were there.

They had been giggling at her, waiting for her to get it through her skull what had been happening. They smugly sipped at their tea while the poor cream-colored mare had a battle with her own exhaustion.

...Well, if she didn't feel stupid _before_ , she sure did _now_.

Without another word, she spun her candy-coated butt right around and stomped out of the door, her hooves leaving dents in the floor as a sign of her pure, unadulterated fury. Fury and embarrassment.

 **"FOUND THEM!"** she shouted over and over at the top of her lungs, her irritation very apparent to anypony within earshot. In her wake, visible through the open door, she left a house of confused friends. While Ryan tried to pry Dash from his body, Lyra watched Prime curiously. He had obviously been resting, but he still looked...tired. He wasn't in that eyes-wide-open stunned state he had been in the day before, so that was pretty good...right?

Then, to Lyra's surprise, Prime did something other than observe. Using his magic, he levitated a notepad out from his wrinkled shirt and flipped it open. After retrieving an _OtherWorld_ -brand pen from the same place, he began furiously scribbling down something. Lyra had been seated at the table, and was too far away to see what he was writing down.

"Um...whatcha doin'?" Lyra asked softly. Prime rolled onto his back, still on the cloud, and looked over at her while upside-down. The mare couldn't suppress a small giggle at the utterly ridiculous posture he was in. He didn't smile, but the way he was moving around showed that he still had some mirth left in him.

"Writin'," he responded simply, the notepad still being worked on even though he wasn't looking at it. Oh, so it was going to be like that, eh?

"Writin' _whaaat?_ " Lyra pressed. The corner of Prime's mouth moved a little, but still he refused to smile.

"Writin' about everything that's happened. It's going to make an excellent story, you know," he explained. Well, _that_ wasn't was Lyra was expecting to hear. His brother gets arrested for assault and the main character from his most successful show comes to life, and that's the way he saw it? _A good story?_ The confused look Lyra was giving him tipped him off to her thoughts. "The guys back at HQ are going to flip when they hear about everything...I want to get all my thoughts down while they're fresh and new. Then, maybe once everything gets resolved...it could make a good story."

Oh. That sounded a bit more realistic. Grim, but realistic. Lyra was just glad to see that her old long-distance friend was seemingly back to himself once again. The vacant expression he had worn for most of yesterday had tugged at her...Heartstrings.

Ugh. Did anybody even like pony puns? _Pons?_

UGH.

****

When I woke up, I genuinely felt happy. I had just had the best dream in... _months_ , I guess. The dreams I had back in the hospital had been filled with disturbing images of my family circled around my rotting corpse, most of the time. I had the occasional vision of having my teeth fall out, but that was only up until I lost control of my legs. After that point, my mind conjured up more and more thoughts about me being dead and my family suffering. I had no escape...except for my folks, Emily, and Sarah.

The dream I just had, however, was the most pleasant kind; happy memories. Once I had fallen asleep, I had been taken back to when I was thirteen or so, and Emily was around eight. It was the first time I had ever been to Florida, and I couldn't have been more excited. Thanks to a raise that my mom had gotten, she and Dad decided that we would visit Universal Studios. I didn't want to admit it, but I was pretty sure that that had been the best day of my life at that point. I could still remember that initial excitement, followed by months of anticipation. To me, the waiting was the best part. Just imagining all the cool things I would see sent shivers through my spine. It was like a four-month long Christmas Eve. Then, finally, it was time to go.

I love flying now, but that first time was pretty nerve-wracking for me. I had no idea what would happen. Would the plane crash? Would I get sucked out of one of the doors and fall to my death? Anything could happen. At first, I internally freaked out. Once we were up in the air, though, I calmed down. Emily had been watching me the whole time, making sure I didn't lose it. Strange, how an eight year old girl had to keep watch over her thirteen year-old brother. She didn't mind; watching me was what she was best at. Mom and Dad must have found great amusement in how nervous the flight had made me, since they wouldn't shut up about it once we had landed in Orlando.

While I was apprehensive about the flying, I absolutely _loved_ the airports. They felt like sleek, shiny malls that people just happened to get launched from inside of winged jet-powered tubes. Being young and stupid, I jumped for the airport Chinese food in Orlando. Several hours later, I ended up regretting my enthusiasm.

Our resort was awesome. It was something having to do with Hard Rock, and it really did live up to its name. The memories were a little fuzzy, but I could still recall swimming around in a pool that had speakers both above and below the waterline. At that age, I had never experienced listening to music while under the water. I could feel the drumbeat in my belly! I couldn't compare it to any other feeling back then, but now I knew that the closest feeling was being at a live concert. That bass shooting through my body like an earthquake just brought me back to the good ol' days.

My dream skipped over to the next most-vivid memory; the Spider-Man ride. I had never been on something like that, so when he jumped down onto the car and I felt the damned thing _shake_ , I very nearly _shat myself_. The same could be said for when the fire got close to us, and I could feel the heat from it. Emily, being the cutie that she was, put her arm in front of me protectively when anything on the screen got too close. Goddammit, Emily. She never even flinched.

Once we had walked out of the ride, Emily wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. I was confused about it back then, but now I know that she was just showing her willingness to watch over me. I was her charge, and she wouldn't let anything ever hurt me. Dreams were truly the best; in my happiness-filled memories, I didn't even recall that that same little girl had to grow up just to watch me die from the inside. At that moment, in the memory, we were still happy and oblivious. Dad was even cracking some jokes with Mom about something that I suspected to be my sister and me.

I hugged my sister for all it was worth, damn near squeezing the life out of her with my much stronger form. I was always pretty big in size, but only really grew into it when I was sixteen or so. Shockingly, I still remembered the little squeak Emily made when I crushed her. I think I cracked her back, too.

That's when I woke up.

Huh...I guess that wasn't Emily's squeak. In my arms, poor Lyra was taking deep breaths, trying to convince her body that it wasn't a pancake. She must have been cuddled into me as we slept, in a way that reminded me of the hugs Emily gave me. My subconscious mind picked her as prime candidate for a love squeeze, and here we were. I was just glad that I didn't actually hurt her, what with my superpowers and all. Wait, I didn't, did I?

_Crack_

...I think that was her back settling back into place. So, not hurt?

Yay?

"Urgh..." she groaned, rolling herself away from me and letting some cool, fresh air into the space between us. The warmth we had been sharing floated away back into the room, making me shiver a little. It had only been a few seconds and _already_ I missed the contact.

...It was starting to occur to me that I might have a problem with hugs. The evidence was starting to mount that I had an honest-to-shit addiction to cuddling. It was just so good, though!

Lyra had gotten up on shaky legs to stretch her body out. I heard a few more cracks before her body decided to shut the hell up. Once she had done that, she walked herself over to the kitchen to do...something. I don't know, I couldn't see her from where I was laying.

The floor, I decided, wasn't going to get any more comfortable. I sat myself up and fought against my protesting back.

"Shit...Hey, Lyra, your floor is a dick!" I called out to her. The sounds of moving glassware stopped for a second. She probably had to repeat my words over in her head before she could come up with an answer. I noticed that a strong, warm, sweet smell was wafting out from the part of the house she had disappeared to. What was she making in there? It smelled good, whatever it was.

"Uhm...why?" she called out in response. I didn't blame her; she had used my body as a mattress for the night. As squishy as I was, she probably felt great...except for me squishing her and all.

"Because it hurt my back! Shouldn't have slept on it...ugh," I whined. I still couldn't see Mom, but I could pretty much feel her eyes rolling from where I sat. She apparently chose to ignore my complaints, since the next words she spoke had nothing to do with my poor, aching spine.

"I'm making some sweet tea. Want some? And maybe some breakfast?" she inquired, poking her head out of the kitchen so she could hear my response. Her question brought attention to yet another change I had to get used to: I wasn't hungry or thirsty. My bowels and bladder, if I even had them, were vacant. At least, I didn't feel like I had to do anything. I hadn't done anything in the three days since I'd arrived. Sarah's words were starting to sink in, now that I was seeing the meaning in action.

"Uh...just some tea, thanks. I'm...not hungry..." I said more to myself than to Lyra. The minty mare tilted her head a bit at my odd mood, but nodded regardless and disappeared once again. The more I thought about everything, the more I realized was changing.

I wasn't tired at all. I had slept, and woke up with barely any transitional state. The usually morning routine of fighting my body into getting up was absent. Well, that was a good thing, wasn't it? I had been late to work a couple times after my body had won the fight and dragged me back into dream-land.

I wouldn't have to use the bathroom anymore. Sarah said something like 'as often', but that could have meant once every year. Again, maybe another good thing? I wouldn't have to worry about getting those shit-quakes when I really need to go, but can't. I swear, that feeling actually made me want to die at times. No more of that. Yay!

The biggest change was last night's whole link/teleporting fiasco. I had almost exploded again.

_That's bad..._

Twilight and Sarah stopped me.

_That's good!_

They broke the link between Lyra and me in the process, thus making it impossible for me to return to her.

_That's bad..._

_Or is that good?_

I didn't know, but the link being broken seemed to make my body _way_ more stable. I had accidentally teleported, a far larger magical exertion than before...and I hadn’t even felt dizzy. Did that mean I was safe to be around? I still wanted a body that couldn't explode and kill all life on the planet, but now I had more time. _Probably._

I was shaken from another one of my reveries by Lyra waving a hoof in my face. I blinked and watched the mint leg tick side to side like a metronome. She was giving me this concerned stare, like I might have expired between the last time I spoke and now.

"Hm?" was all I could get myself to say. She let out a sigh of relief and lifted a glass in front of me with her hoof. Somehow, it was staying connected to her fingerless appendage. I wanted to question it, but in all honesty, I had been through _way_ too many strange things lately. Better to just go with it, and assume that it was natural here. Besides, the steam from the tea she was holding under my nose smelled _way_ too damn _good_ to give a shit about something as silly as physics.

 _"Teeeeaaaa,"_ she said softly, dragging the word out like I she was trying to lure me to her with it. Ew, Mom, stop it.

"Danke," I responded, taking the tea into my hands and letting the glass warm my palms. Lyra flinched back at the choice of thanks I had gone with.

"Y-you know German?" she stuttered. Her eyes shot over me like I had just become the most interesting thing in the world. Who knows, in this world, I just might be. At least to them.

"Nah, just a few words. Character from a video game I played shouted it a lot," I explained calmly. Without another thought, I tipped the cup to my lips and took a careful sip. Scalding my tongue was my _least_ favorite thing to do.

_Slurp_

...

"Oh my _fucking_ god," I managed to say. This tea...it was by far the best thing I had ever had slide past my lips in liquid form. Sarah might be jealous about me saying that, but I stood by it. Lyra knew how to make cup of fucking _tea_. It was sweet, but not overwhelmingly so. It tasted like a mix between peppermint, lemon, and a few other sweet candy-like flavors that I couldn't place. Somehow, they all fit together into a mix of pure awesome. Lyra refused to let me enjoy my first taste of super-tea.

"No, no, you _know_ German! You know _what it is!_ I haven't explained any of that on the show! Unless...I have?" Lyra ranted, her hooves rubbing against her head like she was trying to fight back a headache or something. A pang of sympathy ran through me. If the show I was in was focused mainly on me and my family, what would losing every memory of me do to her memory of the show? She probably barely remembered half of it, at this point. That had to be _infuriating_. I reached out to her and wrapped my free arm around her and pulled her against my chest. Again, the physical contact immediately relaxed her.

"Well, yeah. I came from your head, remember?" I asked kindly, stroking her mane a little to get my point across. "I lived in that little world of yours for twenty years. Twenty years of my time, at least. I have no idea how times works compared to here."

My words seemed to calm her down even more. I served as a somewhat-decent distraction from her missing memories. Even if I was gone from her head, I was still right there with her. She hadn't lost me completely. Lyra gave me an appreciative smile and returned the hug. After a few moments of cuddly goodness, we broke apart. She trotted over to the kitchen table and nudged one of the oddly-shaped chairs out. I got the hint and clambered up to my full height. Lyra seemed taken aback by my size, but snapped herself out of it quickly.

"Sit?" she asked softly, turning to her own chair. I nodded and walked over, sitting myself down as comfortably as I could while she poured herself a cup of tea. I scooted the chair into a position that would allow my legs to fold and settled myself down. I noticed a small pile of papers on the table in front of me that Lyra seemed intent on ignoring. They were flipped face-down so that I couldn't read what was printed on them.

"What're those?" I asked, pointing to the papers. Lyra glanced up before flinching. It seemed that whatever those papers were, she didn't want to think about them.

"Nothing. How's the tea?" she dodged. Nope, not falling for it. If it was something the she was really, truly embarrassed by, I doubt she would have left it laying around on something so visible.

"Good," I responded while I picked the papers up and flipped them over. Lyra's eyes shot open as my eyes ran over the paper. Again, I could see the translation magic at work. I could read what was written, but the letters shimmered over their true forms just noticeably enough to become nauseating if I tried reading too much.

 _"'We'll Miss You...?'"_ I read out loud. It appeared to be the title to some sort of music sheet. And underneath it were...lyrics? "Uh...what exactly am I looking at, here?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow. Mom looked down at the table, the gears in her mind almost audible as they spun around, trying to form an answer for me.

"It's...a song...the town was supposed to sing it together..." she explained quietly.

Hmm. Yeah, I remember something about spontaneous singing. One of the episodes I saw in the hospital showed Pinkie singing about how much she likes making her friends smile. The tune was catchy enough and I agreed with the sentiment. It was lovably corny.

"Y'mean like that 'Smile' song Pinkie Pie sang with the town?" I asked. Lyra nodded. "I was wondering how something like that just happened. It seemed too rehearsed." Lyra let out a relieved groan.

"Ugh, I know! It took ages to get Pinkie Pie to actually sit still through each rehearsal! She kept wandering off to do who knows what. It took _weeks_ to get that song down right. Between you and me, I think Pinkie lacks a patience gland," she rambled. I blinked at that last thing.

"Patience gland? Wait...is that a _thing_ , here? Is there actually an organ for controlling _patience_?" I asked, too stunned to do much else but let my mouth hang out. What the hell was up with these ponies?! Beyond my flabbergasted state, I could pick out Lyra giggling to herself.

Oh.

_That sly bitch._

She just played me like a fiddle. Or maybe a harp, if the thing on her butt symbolized anything. I gave her a grin to let her know that I had caught on, prompting her to giggle even louder.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Really clever, Junior Mints," I fake-pouted, looking back down at the sheets. Reading through some more of it, I started to get the feeling that song was supposed to be... _mournful_. Lines kept popping up that brought my mood lower and lower, such as _'Can't believe you're gone'_ , and _'You'll be without pain once more.'_

Holy...holy _shit._

This song was about me. About my death. They had actually written out a musical number to express how sad they were that I died.

I wasn't even upset. That shit was impressive. It had barely been a few days since the apparent episode and already there was a song.

"How long have you had this?" I questioned. Lyra flinched again and looked around at anything else in the room besides me.

"Since the morning after...they passed it around really early. I was in the hospital when they delivered it," she said. That got my attention, though I knew she was okay now.

"Hospital?"

"When Twilight, um... _ripped you out of me_. It knocked me out cold for awhile."

Ah. That made sense. Shame on you, Twilight. KO'ing an innocent Pony-Mom for no other reason than being severely emotionally distressed at the loss of...me.

"Hmm..." I sighed, trying to force myself through the musical. Eventually, I had to admit defeat; I just couldn't do it. With a grimace, I set the papers back down where they were and went back to my tea. I didn't want to think about how sad I had made so many innocent ponies. Since the show was apparently super-popular, did anybody know about my survival outside of Ponyville? It was terrible to know that there were probably still a lot of ponies out there that were still broken up about me...

Wait, why couldn't I just spread the word? Celestia wanted me to go to Canterlot, right? That's, like, a super-populated city, if I remembered correctly. Anything that I did there would probably spread through Equestria like a plague.

It was _perfect._

But there was just one problem; I had no idea how I was supposed to get there. Even if I was more stable now, I didn't want to be my usual impulsive self and push my luck by running or teleporting there. It would be better to hold back with the magic until I knew exactly what I was safe doing. So...what other modes of transportation were there?

"Is something wrong?" Lyra asked, her voice full of concern. She had set her tea down onto its coaster so that she could watch me. I must have been spaced again or something. Well, that was one thing that didn't change. Pfft, the one thing I noticed remaining the same and it was an annoyance of mine. _Goodie goodie._

"I want to go to Canterlot," I stated plainly. Lyra choked on the mouthful of tea she had been trying to swallow, and it all came back up onto the table as she coughed. I got up and moved next to her, patting her back. She quickly got all of the tea from her lungs and looked up at me with a look of confusion.

"H-huh? Wha-why?" she asked weakly. I shrugged and rubbing her back a little.

"I think there are still a lot of sad ponies out there. If a small town like this came up with a friggin funeral song for me in a few hours, then what about everywhere else? Ponies out there...they've probably been mourning this whole time. I gotta fix that," I told her. She had started developing a smile halfway through my explanation, and by the time I was done, she was beaming. "Hm? Something up?" She just shook her head and looked back down at her beverage.

"No, no, nothing wrong...it's just weird. You still seem so familiar to me, but it's like-...I'm getting to know you for first time. I can see why Twilight cared so much about you that she would do what she did...I'm proud of you, is what I'm saying," she said, a blush spreading across her cheeks. I felt my own cheeks grow hot. What could I say? I never handled such nice compliments that well.

 _"Mooom,"_ I groaned, playing with the one white streak in her mane. I hope I hadn’t given her that with how much I had frightened her the day before. Poor Lyra, I would need to have a special Mother's Day thing for her or something. Mom just grinned sheepishly.

"So, where's Bon Bon?" she asked me. I tilted my head at her. Why did she think I would know that? Bon Bon was her friend, not mine. She acted like Emily sometimes, but I didn't know her personally yet.

"I dunno. Thought you would know," I shrugged. A look of apprehension spread across her features. I could pretty much tell for sure that she was worrying about the whereabouts of her friend, because I was too. What could have happened that she would have been out all night? I expected her to come back home and see us, then probably tell the others and we would have a nice little chat about my new ability.

No...they didn't spend all night looking for us, did they? Why wouldn't she look here first? It was the home she shared with Lyra! It should have been the first place she had looked! She had to be doing something else. There was no way-

_Click_

Oh, that must be her. The door creaked open to reveal a very exhausted-looking Bon Bon. It was the tag-alongs behind her that caught my immediate attention. Their mode of transportation made me even more confused.

Bon Bon was pulling a floating cloud behind her by a rope. On top of that cloud rested two colorful pony friends. Rainbow Dash and Prime were laying against each other, forced to cuddle due to the small size of the cloud. It was the most adorable thing I had seen so far today, and I had been snuggled up against a minty Pony-Mom. Dash was just waking up, but still had a little pouty face that she must have been wearing when she started snoozing. Prime just looked tired and worn out. I felt for the poor guy. Maybe I could do more to help him out with Time when I went to Canterlot.

I expected Bon Bon to see us immediately, but she didn't. She just strolled in slowly and let go of the cloud. The bed-thing started floating around freely behind her. The next one to make a sound was Prime, but he just let out a tired groan. His muzzle was moving slightly, tipping me off that he was probably smelling the tea. It was very aromatic, after all. Bon Bon was almost floating towards the sweet smell coming from the kitchen.

Oh, and Rainbow was staring at me like I was some sort of lost treasure. It would have been a bit creepy, but her bed-head managed to make it cute.

I only noticed Bon Bon returning from the kitchen with her tea when she tripped over my foot and almost ate shit against the floor. At least the tea was okay.

"Oops, sorry, Bonnie," I apologized. She had to notice that we were sitting there now; I was fucking talking to her! She had tripped over me! But no, she remained oblivious, her eyes locked on her beverage.

"No, no, it's fine. Tea's safe, that's all that matters," Bon Bon chuckled.

 _No. Fucking. Way._ She still didn't get it! Oh god, this could be the best thing ever. To all the humor gods, thank you for this blessing.

"Mhmm...what're ya up to?" I asked, trying not to burst out laughing. Bon Bon sighed wearily.

"Oh, just out looking for Ryan and Lyra. They disappeared last night and we've been looking since then," she told me. How in the hell did it not get through to her, yet? God damn. She let out a giant yawn, which prompted both Lyra and I to start laughing at quietly as we could.

" _Soooo_...find them yet?" I inquired through another stifled giggle. Bon Bon actually looked sad at this question, prompting a brief spike of concern to poke through my mirthful exterior.

"No...we couldn't find a thing. We know that they reappeared somewhere in Ponyville, but except for that...nothing. It's like they disappeared. I was starting to wonder if Ryan tried to teleport again, but there wasn't any more purple smoke...so I think they're still around, somewhere," said Bonnie dejectedly. I looked over at Lyra and saw that she was looking just as concerned as I felt. Her friend had been looking for us all night, at the cost of both her time and sanity.

" _Aww_ , it's okay Bonnie. I'm sure you'll find them soon enough," assured Lyra to her friend. Well, never fucking mind, then. She was just going to keep playing it like a joke. Bon Bon seemed to finally be using her brain, now. A look of dawning horror started to reach her features.

Then Rainbow Dash happened.

"RYAN!" she screamed in her raspy voice. I had barely a second to comprehend my situation before Dash's wings sent her flying towards me like a tiny blue missile.

I wasn't sure what happened after that. The only thing that I knew was that the chair I had been sitting on splintered into pieces as Rainbow ran me over. I couldn't even yelp; the air I had been holding in my lungs fucked off at the moment of impact. Our bodies flew backwards onto the dickish floor, but I took all of the force when we landed. Rainbow Dash had wrapped herself around me in one of her patented Atomic Hugs.

I wanted to be mad at her for attacking me, but the feeling of her soft, warm body rubbing itself against me dulled my ire immediately. I sighed and relented. If she wanted to do that, she was going to have to learn how to do it _right_. I wrapped my powerful arms around her smaller blue form and squeezed her for all she was worth.

 **"SQUAWK!"** she yelped, the air from her lungs joining mine in orbit. I made sure only to hug her as much as was safe for her, which apparently was pretty lightly. From the way her body was straining in my arms, I was pretty sure that a full-power hug would actually kill her. Damn this magical power that threatened my friends with death hugs!

I couldn't tell for sure what was happening around me, but I got the distinct feeling that Bon Bon was questioning what decisions in life had led her to the point of conversing with someone without realizing that they were physically there. Without another moment to spare, Bon Bon walked back out of the house while screaming something at the top of her lungs over and over.

Okay, then.

Lyra was talking to Prime about... _-something_ , but I couldn't focus on what. Dash was busy trying to squeeze me back as hard as I had squeezed her, but with dismal results. Her tiny frame was built for speed and agility, not strength and stability. It was like a kitten trying to wrestle a boulder. I gave her another tight hug that prompted one more bird-like sound from the prismatic pegasus. That seemed to shut her up. After the second crush, she had become content with just giving me relieved hugs.

When I looked back up, I noticed that Prime was done talking and was now writing something down in a tiny little notepad. Lyra was cringing in a way that told me she had just thought of a really fucking stupid pun or something like that.

All in all...it felt familiar. The hug that I was sharing with Dash brought me right back to that dream I had escaped to. Emily had hugged me protectively just like this cute little mare was doing. By now, I think every one of my pony friends had done the same. It was then that I noticed that it wasn't just Bon Bon who reminded me of my lost sister.

Emily was within every single one of my fans. Those who wanted to watch over me and protect me had watched every week, hoping that I made it through everything safely. But that also meant... _oh, god_.

If every single one of my fans felt that way about me, then I had some _serious_ cheering up to do.

A small, determined grin grew on my face, confusing the pegasus underneath my chin. I had a lot of work ahead of me if I was to stop all of the sadness that had resulted from my death. Every single fan needed to know that I was okay.

What better place to start than Canterlot?


	16. S1E16: Planning for the Future

After Bon Bon had left, it only took a few seconds for Sarah to barge her way into Lyra's house. She was nearly _frothing at the mouth_. Her eyes also scared me somewhat; they were wild and desperate, searching every inch of the room for my body. I could almost feel my lower body shriveling up at the intense vibe she was giving off. I was used to her being pushy and aggressive when it came to her feeling of ownership over me...but as a _human_. Seeing her pony self stuck between killing my kidnapper and dragging me to bed was quite alarming.

"Shit..." was all I managed to say before her eyes locked onto me. Unfortunately, I was still being cuddled by Rainbow Dash. As soon as she realized that some other mare was getting all touchy with me, she soared over to us like a bullet. I was pretty sure she had been even _faster_ than Dash had been when she initially charged me. I managed to roll over just in time to protect the little blue pegasus with my body. The movement drew a startled squeak from Dash.

Sarah might have been upset in more ways than one, but I knew that she wouldn't harm me, even if it meant getting to a female that dared to challenge her.

I was correct in my assumption.

Before Sarah could impale me with her large horn, she noticed that I had swapped places with Dash. She promptly halted her flight path, her eyes widening in panic. All four of her hooves dug into the floor of Lyra's home and created deep skids as her momentum faded away. The sound that filled the air was the stuff of fucking _nightmares_ ; it was like two forks scratching a plate while another fork molested a chalk board.

I didn't even know floors _could make_ that sound.

After a few moments of complete silence, I looked around to see Sarah giving me a confused yet angry glare. Below me, Dash was shivering slightly. I know she had had been all bold and confrontational before, but as tired as she looked now...she seemed so _meek_. Like, she was channeling some _serious_ Fluttershy.

"Sarah, what the _hell?_ " I demanded, looking my marefriend straight in the eye. She was doing her best to stand her ground against my glare, but she quickly lost her will and simmered down. She knew when I was fed up with whatever shit she was pulling. I let her hold her air of dominance most of the time, but I _did_ let her know when she was being a royal bitch.

 _Royal_ bitch...huh. That made so much more sense, with the context filled in. Sarah huffed and pointed a hoof at Dash.

"I was looking for you _all night!_ Where the _hell_ have you been?! And _why_ , when I found you, were you cuddled up with that... _that..._ " she stuttered, but I cut her off before she could say anything rude about Rainbow.

"Sarah," I warned her, my gaze hardening for a moment. She lost the fight in her once more and calmed slightly. The blue alicorn took a breath before continuing with her toned-down rant.

"It's just...Ryan, what happened? Why are you here, and why are you hugging her?" she asked, a tone of weary defeat reaching her voice. My glare immediately softened when I noticed the reserved mood she had switched to. I could argue all day, but with Sarah, I would never get anywhere unless I made her calm down and explain everything clearly. If she was allowed to throw out everything on her mind when upset, I would be sitting there with her for hours. Conceding a point was very difficult for her, and damn near impossible when she was mad. Well, anyway, she was definitely calm enough now. Time to explain myself.

"I...I had to get away from the fighting...and it turns out I can teleport. I know, cool, right? Anyway...the link being gone made me a lot more stable so the teleporting thing didn't blow me up. Popped out in Ponyville and ran my ass over here. I'm surprised you guys didn't look here first. Don't Lyra and Bon Bon both live here?" I asked cheekily. Sarah stared at me for a few seconds, her face void of any emotion. Then she smacked her face with her hoof and groaned. Heh.

"Okay...okay, so that explains why you're here. But what about _her?_ " she almost spat. Ugh, Sarah, I thought I already talked to you about being jealous and shit. It was getting us both nowhere pretty damn fast.

"Bon Bon showed up with Prime and Dash on some cloud thing. Dash saw me and needed a hug. You said you were out looking for me all night, too. I can imagine you need one," I offered, opening my arms wide for her.

At first, she tried to act defiant. I guess she didn't want to give in to the power of hugs so easily. Silly Bear, you can't fight the hug! And just like that, she was in my arms once more, her body shivering in happy relief. "Sorry for disappearing and not looking for you. You know how I feel about getting lost."

"Yeah..." she choked, trying to hold back some happy tears. "You never go looking if you know someone's looking for you. Stay in one place until you're found..." I rubbed her back gently as she recalled my rescue preferences. Too many times before, we had lost each other in different stores. We had always spent hours trying to find one another, since we would always end up swapping places without seeing each other. Eventually, we came to the agreement that I would stay in one place, and she would come looking. That way, we wouldn't keep moving around while trying to seek one another. Easy peasy.

"Still, ya guys shoulda looked here, first," I teased, running my fingers through her mane and messing up the constellations. It was only then that I noticed that the dicks that she had worn in her mane were now scrambled. _Oh shit, she saw them._ The way she swatted me away once she felt where my fingers were was all the proof I needed. "Aww...you neutered your hair."

"Neutered... _my..._ **RYAN. THAT WAS GROSS. NEVER AGAIN** ," she scolded, her muzzle nearly pressed against my face. She was still so cute when she tried to intimidate me. Her left leg shot up, her hoof beating up my shoulder in an adorable display of indignation.

As a response, I laughed my _ass_ off. I know that it probably didn't ease the embarrassment she still felt for having walked around with schlongs around her head, but such is life. It was too funny not to laugh at. I just wished I could have seen her face when she figured it out.

After a minute or so, my laughter had run itself out and my shoulder had started to bruise. I grabbed Sarah's leg as a sign for her to stop, but the look on her face made me pause. It was...this strange emotion somewhere between relief and stewing anger. Well, no shit. She had been looking for me all night with me friends, just to find me sipping on tea after a good night's sleep. The things they go through for me...I really owe these guys. As much as I still didn't find her alicorn body much more than beautiful and cute, she earned this.

_Mwah_

Sarah blinked once. Then twice. Then a third time just to make sure that she hadn't imagined what I had just done. Yet, the slightly damp section at the end of her muzzle remained. Her watering eyes brought me some worry until I figured out that they were happy tears.

"R-Ryan... _I'm so..._ I'm...You're okay," she finally choked out, her legs sliding around me and bringing me in for another tight hug.

...Poor Bear...

I returned her embrace and even rubbed her back again. This time, I chose to try rubbing her wings. As soon as my hands started running up her left wing, they both shot out with the force of a 12-gauge slug. _I think._ Whatever, they opened fast enough to send Sarah sprawling away, her legs scrambling to gain traction.

Once the commotion had halted, I tried to speak. Instead of words, I found myself spitting out some small blue feathers. It took a few coughs to get my mouth Sarah-free.

...She tasted like blue.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, leaning back on my hands and examining the room around me. Oh, yeah, we weren't alone in here. Almost forgot about that. Lyra was watching us with a mixture of concern and mirth on her face. What was she so smug about? Oh, hardy-har, Sarah launched us apart for some reason and I nearly bump my head. That could have been a serious boo-boo! Behind her, I spotted the stallion that I damn near forgot. Prime was still in his cloud, but...

...For some reason, the only things sticking out from the cloud were his legs. I guess that in Sarah's rush to get inside the house, she must have charged through Prime somehow and gotten his front half stuck in the cloud. His legs were kicking, albeit without any urgency. He appeared to be kicking them out of boredom, very similar to how a child would kick their legs while on a swing. Well, at least I knew he could breathe in there.

How was he even on that thing, anyway? I thought cloud lounging was a pegasus thing. _Ho ho, magic!_ Just go with it...

When I looked back at Sarah, I noticed how flustered and red-faced she had become. What, did I do something embarrassing? Oh, no, that wasn't the _embarrassed_ look...

She was biting her lip. And giving me a sultry look. That shit was _unnerving_ on a pony. The only thing I could figure was that the thing I did to her wing was super-arousing to her, somehow.

Note to self, _never_ do that again. Unless I suddenly decided that I was okay with fucking ponies. _Noooope~_

The next sound to break the silence was Lyra trying her damned hardest to stifle her giggling. Apparently, winged ponies popping a back boner was funny. Poor Lyra chose the wrong alicorn to laugh at about it, however. In an instant, Sarah was in her face, blowing steam through her nostrils like an angry bull. Actually, that was the best description of her at that moment. Her eyes were very nearly red and I could almost picture the second horn and nose-ring. Uh-oh, time to try defusing a situation. I still wasn't that good at calming angry friends, but I had to do some or else Mom might get hurt.

Without any good one-liners to fit the situation, I reached for the first thing I could think of: the cup of super-awesome tea that had long since stopped steaming. I pushed the drink between my two girls, causing them both a good amount of confusion. Sarah was confused about why I had suddenly shoved a cup under her face. Lyra was confused about why she wasn't currently being digested inside Sarah's gut.

"Bwuh- _huh...?_ " sputtered Sarah intelligently. Her eyes lit up when she smelled the tea.

"I'm going to Canterlot!" I exclaimed. In hindsight, that probably wasn't the smartest time tell her about it.

"BWUH-HUH- _AAHHH!_ " she shrieked. The scene unfolding before me actually brought me to tears. Sarah, in her shocked state, had exhaled roughly through her nose...and right into the tea. The lukewarm beverage flew up out of the cup and splashed both her and Lyra. Sarah received the worst of it, however, and found herself with a face soaked with tea.

" **HA!** " I exclaimed, unable to contain my laughter. The sound I made quite reminded me of my current situation; I tried holding the laughter in, failed, so it was released in one big outburst. Sarah lit her horn and created a blue mask for herself, which pushed away the moisture in one swoop. The glare she gave me reduced my laughter to a mirthful smirk.

" _Not. Funny._ How would you like it if _your_ face got all wet?" she demanded. Oh, poor choice of words, old gal.

"I like it _very_ much. You know that," I responded, grinning like a smug bastard. It didn't take the flustered mare in front of me any time to realize the error of her words and the perversion of mine. She began blushing like a ripe tomato and scrunched her face up. Man, those face-scrunches are so fucking cute on these ponies! I don't even know why; it's like whatever it is they do to their mouths, it makes them so much more adorable. _Adorabler!_

" _Ryan..._ " Sarah warned. I could tell that she wanted to scold me, but the memories she was reliving of some of our more _adventurous_ late-night sessions looked to be disabling her. Just to make it even worse, I licked my lips deliberately in front of her. She watched my tongue intently, probably planning on where she was going to make it go. Uh-uh, not in that pony body. Human only!

I slurped my tongue back inside my mouth teasingly. I was going to say something else, but a sudden weight on my arm drew my attention away from my moistening marefriend. Looking down to my left side, I came face-to-face with two giant magenta orbs. A yelp came from my throat unintentionally and I felt my ass leave the ground for a brief moment. _Holy shit_ , that was one hell of a jump scare. What the hell was on me?

Oh, it was Rainbow Dash.

She was on her back legs, her front ones being planted against my arm. Well, that explained the weight I had been feeling. What did she even want? She was just...staring at me. Her eyes were the biggest I'd ever seen them, and a thin line of drool was leaking from her m-

...

Did I say that whole wet-face thing out loud in front of them?

I _did_ , didn't I...?

Lyra was looking quite a bit red as well, now that I started paying attention to my surroundings. Luckily, she wasn't giving me that longingly lustful stare that Dash was wearing. Hers was more of an uncomfortable look than anything close to wanting. I didn't even want to think of my Pony-Mom getting Ryan-cravings.

_Shiver_

Prime...was still in his cloud, so I couldn't see his face. What I _could_ see, however, were his legs. And boy, those suckers were crossed _tightly_. He might have been sporting one astounding rager, but I could be wrong. Maybe he just suffocated and his legs curled in like a dead spider's would do.

Yeah, it was probably time to get him outta there. I stood up, ignoring Dash's silent protest of leg-waving and moving towards the cloud-based unicorn. My hand went right through the cloud when I tried to grab it.

"...Yeah, I'm useless. Sarah, some help?" I asked. A scuffling could be heard behind me. Strange, it didn't sound like Sarah getting up. It sounded more like...two different bodies fighting to get to me. Oh, _for the love of fuck._

Just as I thought, both Sarah and Dash collided onto the floor under me, pushing and shoving to help me. As humorous a sight as it was, I was getting pretty damn tired of being viewed like some trophy husband of something. I was just a guy, for crying out loud!

"Fuckin' stop!" I shouted, causing both mares to halt their efforts and look up at me. Dash looked a bit frightened at my harsh language, but Sarah was used to it. We swore at each other all the time, sometimes just for fun. Again, swearing was one of those things she was seemingly unaware of before she met me. But boy, did she had the time of her adorable little life when I taught her how to effectively curse someone out. The weeks following my 'lesson' consisted of her running around screaming _'CUNT!'_ at me with a lovably idiotic look on her face.

I was one lucky guy. No, seriously. Not even being sarcastic, I loved the shit out of her.

And being the guy who loved her, I knew how territorial and competitive she got. This was just another one of the things that made her who she was. I couldn't be mad at her for it, at least for very long. The same could be said about Dash, too. I didn't really know her all that well, but she did strike me as the super-competitive type. It only made sense that the two would compete like that. I just wish it wasn't over me. I wasn't a prize that Dash could win. Sarah already won that fight, two years ago.

"Cloud. Prime. Stuck. Help with," I spoke slowly so that they both knew I meant business. They both got up to help me again, but this time without the fighting. To my surprise, they both got to work getting the stallion unstuck from the consuming cumulus. Dash seemed adamant about not destroying the cloud, which had been Sarah's first idea. Sarah relented without further argument and used her magic to slowly and carefully push the unicorn the rest of the way out from the cloud.

Prime fell to the ground, his legs refusing to catch him. Without the support his limbs would have provided, his body hit the ground with a wet _thump_. The sound made the rest of us in the room cringe, even Lyra. She had been curiously sipping her tea, despite the conflict going on inside her home. I was just glad to see that the very presence of Sarah or me didn't scare the hell out of her anymore. She only got scared when Sarah did something scary, like hop into her face and blow tea everywhere or something stupid like that.

"Ugh..." I heard Prime Warner groan. He sat himself onto shaky legs, his eyes spinning in comical circles. Next to him, Dash was pulling her cloud away into a corner so that Sarah didn't get tempted to destroy it again. Very carefully, the small pegasus smoothed the cloud with her hooves, filling in the hole that Prime's body had made. Seeing her working on the cloud like it was her baby was pretty darn cute.

...That sounded too... _censored._

Seeing her work on the cloud like it was her baby was _totally fucking adorable._

That's better. Can't let this world of cute ponies affect my inner explicit nature!

"So," Sarah started as she helped Prime to his hooves. "What's this about going to Canterlot?" Oh, yeah. Forgot about that. Sarah's tea adventure shook that whole conversation out of me. I cleared my throat, preparing my words.

"I think I should go to Canterlot," I started off.

"Okay, I got that. But... _why?_ " Sarah responded, her gaze still fixed on the faded blue stallions currently gathering his notebook from the floor. His pen had also been sent flying by the wind created when Sarah flew by him.

"Well...you know how I hate making others upset?" I asked her. She looked at me for a moment before nodding her head. Her mane whipped around behind her, drawing my attention only for a moment. "From what Lyra told me, a lot of ponies were heartbroken when I... _you know_. The only ponies I've seen so far have been in Ponyville. Are all the others still sad?" I asked, my eyes looking into hers for an honest answer.

"...Yes."

I smiled at her when she said that, but not in a teasing way. She already knew where I was coming from without anything else needing to be said. She knew that I knew that she knew. I wasn't about to sit back and let others cry over me if I could do anything about it. That wasn't who I was. I was Ryan Burbank, the master of happy times and hiding from stress.

"But Ryan..." she piped up. I gave her a soft look and motioned for her to go on. "I...I still don't think it's a good idea. At least, not yet. I _know_ the ponies in Canterlot. The nobles...they love you. They _really_ love you. Yesterday, before my sister and I came down to see you, I offered to show Tia _OtherWorld_. The ponies in earshot rushed off and were back within a couple minutes with sleepwear and snacks. Ryan...I'm very afraid of how they'll react if they see you _for real._ "

"I can attest to that," I heard Prime say from behind me. I turned to look at the stallion as he spoke. "I've been to some of the conventions in Canterlot, and boy...I doubt I've ever seen ponies more obsessed with any other GemShow figure. At the time, I was overjoyed at the fan reaction. Now that you're here and real, I don't have a clue what could happen if you just suddenly appeared after they saw you die."

It took a few moments for me to digest this new information. I assumed I was more of a Michael Jackson rank to the ponies of Equestria. I wasn't so sure about that anymore. It sounded more like a good portion of the population was downright _obsessed_ with me. Even if I was just a Michael Jackson, I was scared to think about what would happen back home if he were to suddenly pop up in public and be all _"Hey boys, I'm alive!"_ He'd probably be...kidnapped by elated fans.

A shiver ran up my spine at that thought. Kidnapped by overjoyed ponies, wanting to do who knows what to me...and judging from the reactions of half of my new friends, some kind of weird sexual stuff wasn't off the table. And apparently Sarah was a pony princess _waaay_ before she came into my life. So I had managed to seduce a princess from a completely different species...I was either a god of seduction or these ponies were just _really_ open with their sexuality.

I need more guy friends. Maybe Spike, he seemed like a male. _I think._

"Oh, I forgot you have partial ownership of the show," Sarah said to Prime, a bit of curiosity in her voice. "So now that Ryan's here and your brother is..."

The harsh glare I gave her silenced that point quite effectively.

" _Eh-hem._ Well, what are you going to do, now? I don't believe you have a residence in Ponyville," she inquired. Prime looked up at the ceiling, his tired eyes windows into his injured soul. He considered the question for a few moments before shrugging.

"I got the situation written down. I need to go back headquarters and explain that Time is going to be away...for awhile..." he said sadly. Of all the ponies in the room, Lyra was giving him the least-considerate look regarding the situation with his brother. Had she seen Time do something that I was unaware of? Probably, considering the mental state of the crazy pony.

"Are you well-equipped to handle the situation without your brother?" Sarah asked, starting to tread back into uncomfortable territory again. That previous glare sure didn't last that long. Prime didn't flinch this time, however. It looked like he had been asking himself the very same question for awhile now.

"I...I don't know. I'm not too good with the actual _business_ aspect of OW. I'm more of just a talent scout with a good amount of power," he said quietly. I felt really bad for the poor guy...I hated stress. This whole situation was just a big ol' _heap_ of stressful shit that I would have a terrible time dealing with. Kudos to Prime for not running off. Even Sarah gave him a sympathetic look.

"Well, I'm sure there's something my sister or I could-"

"Bon Bon and I can help," Lyra declared from her position at the table. The room went silent after her sudden statement. The only sound that could be heard was the steady sipping of Lyra and her teacup. The most surprised out of all of us was Prime. He took a few wobbly steps towards the mint-mare, his eyes locked on her.

"Lyra, do you... _what?_ " he stuttered. Lyra just gave him a warm smile and explained.

"Bon Bon owns her own business, Prime. She knows a good amount about the financial stuff, and I help her out, too. We could help you if you needed it. Plus, I'm sure the Princesses are going to have their hooves full helping Ryan out," she said kindly.

Whoa.

My Pony-Mom is a fucking _saint_. Prime shared my sentiments.

"Ly...that's... _oh, buck,_ stupid tears..." Prime squeaked, his hoof shooting up to wipe at his moistening face. I didn't even hear him. All I could think of now was making those sad ponies happy again! My knees went weak as I started trembling in anticipation.

"So I guess that solves it, then. We're all going to Canterlot!" I declared happily. My statement made every pony in the room stare at me.

"Uhm, Ryan, headquarters isn't in-"

"How are we getting there? Are there cars here?" I interrupted, looking around excitedly. Prime just sighed and went quiet after sniffling a bit.

"Ryan," I heard my mom's voice say with an air of authority that made my butt clench. I turned to look Lyra in the eyes. She didn't look at all amused. What had I done to upset her?

"Hm?" I asked, trying to act innocent.

"OW Headquarters is in Manehattan, not Canterlot. Bon Bon and I have to go there with him," she stated. I wasn't used to seeing Lyra act so...dominant. The voice coming from her mouth brought me right back to when I was a kid and I just had three more cookies than I was allowed.

"Ugh, friggin _'Manehattan.'_ Of course there would be a _'Manehattan,'_ " I lamented to myself. Too many weird knockoff names...but...maybe they weren't? If my world came from the mind of a pony here in this world, then were the knockoff names the originals? I didn't even want to start thinking about that...

A nervous shiver went down my spine. I realized that I would have to go to Canterlot, in a city full of obsessed fans, without my mom. She was so much more used to the idea of me being famous, and undoubtedly had more experience dealing with fame. As confident as I had been feeling, I knew that I would buckle once I got surrounded. Having lived in the woods for the last couple years, I had grown accustomed to being alone with Sarah. The mall I worked at had a good amount of people...but they weren't clamoring for my attention.

"So...who is going with me...?" I asked weakly, looking around at the room. Almost immediately after I had spoken, I felt a bump again my shoulder. Turning my head towards the contact, I once again came face-to-face with Rainbow Dash. This time, she was looking at me with an encouraging smirk, instead of a lustful gaze. She was perched on top of her cloud innocently as she telegraphed her answer. I got the feeling that even if I felt like arguing with her, she wouldn't listen. She was dead-set on helping me.

"I will be, of course," I heard Sarah say in front of me. "I still don't think that it's a good idea...but my sister _did_ say that she wanted you to visit when you were settled so that we could begin working on finding a solution to your 'bomb' problem. Now that the link is broken, you appear to be much more stable than before. It's probably for the best that we go now and begin searching for an answer." Sarah finished her speech by giving Dash a suspicious look. It wasn't directed at me, but I could tell it meant _'I'll be watching, so don't do anything stupid.'_ Rainbow responded by sticking the very tip of her tongue out at the princess and blowing an almost silent raspberry.

I wondered if the other girls would want to go, too. Most likely. So that's Sarah, Dash, and maybe the other girls to keep me safe from my possibly insane fans. Those were pretty good numbers, right? Eh, it'll be fine.

Somewhere in the background, I swear I could hear an ominous slide of a bow across the strings of a violin. Okay, the random sound effects in this world have to have some kind of fucking purpose. That must mean I was doomed to have something bad happen to me.

There was _no way_ I was going to Canterlot without the others, now.

This world was giving me a warning and I was going to fucking _listen_.

I started running my hand through my hair, but stopped when I felt a layer of grease rub off onto my fingers. In disgust, I yanked my hand away and looked at it. My hand was now slightly more shiny than it normally was. Now that I thought about it, my hair felt gross. I guess even magical construct body hair gets greasy. And my clothes...they were still the undersized copies that I had borrowed from Twilight's _collection_. Time Warner had interrupted my mission of acquiring a new set. Was Rarity even awake now?

"But first...I think I need a shower. And some clothes," I said out loud, still looking down at my hand. Sarah leaned in closer and took a whiff. She didn't back off, but she did nod her head in agreement. Was I just hearing things, or did she make a _'nummy'_ sound?

"As much as I enjoy your _aroma_ , I do agree that a shower is probably a good idea," she responded. Everyone in the room stared at her. She noticed this after an uncomfortable period of silence. Great, thanks Sarah. Now Dash was looking at me with a curious stare. Stop giving her ideas!

"What?" she asked us defensively.

"For fuck's sake, Bear. That was creepy."

****

_Twack_

_Twack_

_Twack_

"Stupid...stupid...stupid..." the bright blue unicorn chanted to himself, punctuating each word with a _thump_ of his head against the cell wall. He had been at it for at least an hour at that point, proven by the trickle of dark maroon that flowed down his head. The hard, gray rock was heavily stained with the red substance. It would take some serious scrubbing to remove all the marks that the stallion had been leaving everywhere.

How could he have done something so stupid? Attacking a princess over some produced replica of Ryan Burbank...he was supposed to be smarter than that! He was the owner of the largest GemShow production company in Equestria, for Celestia's sake! Yet, there he sat, secluded within those four stone walls. The only pony he had seen in the last day had been a guard during his scheduled feeding time.

For his dinner last night, he received some bread and water. He had at first refused such a poor offering, but the growling in his stomach had grown until he had been unable to resist. The only wish he had at that point was to go back in time and eat the bread before it had went stale. The water was okay, but nothing compared to his beloved _Wiji_ brand mineral water.

He wanted to be outside of the walls. The walls said _'no'_.

 _Please?_ he asked the walls again. Once more, they refused his request.

Walls are peasants. How _dare_ they defy him?!

Time Warner beat his head harder against the stone, this time trying to harm it instead of himself. The blood that had been trickling down his muzzle smeared against the wall, painting a picture of his face for nopony but himself to see. It would be his masterpiece.

 _'This Wall is a Peasant and I Made it Bleed'_ by Time Warner.

He could see it already. His peers in Manehattan, trotting up to congratulate him on such a unique piece of art. The awards he would receive...the recognition he would get...it would be second only to the sudden popularity of that show his younger brother recruited. That silly human world was so _easy_ to sell. Barely anything exciting happened in it, yet the ponies of Equestria ate it up like the finest of pastries.

He would be proud of something that was _his_. Not something his little brother had been responsible for. As the big brother, it was _his_ duty to show Prime what it meant to work for something amazing. Prime had been the one doing a good portion of the work when it came to recruiting shows, and Time Warner _hated_ it. _He_ wanted to be the one that had the friends. _He_ wanted to be the one ponies thanked when they saw their imaginary worlds up in the gem projection for the first time. His little brother was just a kid. Why did he get all of the love from everypony? All he did was travel around and make friends. All of the hard, business work was left back for Time to work on.

It wasn't that he hated working with money; he actually _loved_ it. The numbers running through his head kept everything else from talking to him. When he was number-crunching, the world around him went silent. He loved the peace. The times when he was younger and trying to keep those bit collectors from taking the roof over his head...they made him know. He had learned the truth about money; it only went as far as the collector's comfort. If you wanted something of value, sometimes you would have to _bleed_ for it.

Just like his new piece of art before him. He finally had something he could be proud of, since he had worked on it alone. Nopony else contributed in the slightest. It would be his way of showing the world that he could, in fact, make something of value without his brother's help. He was going to finally be loved!

But when he looked at it again, all he saw was a bloody wall. It wasn't even the wall's blood.

_Stone doesn't bleed._

That was _his_ blood. The wall had been taking his blood and was going to do who knows what with it.

With a singular grunt, the bright blue, disheveled pony slammed his head against the minced boulder that the wall consisted of. He didn't _care_ if the wall had his blood. His blood wasn't worth the time it took to let it leak out. He had nothing to call his own anymore; his company was his _everything_. Now that he was being held prisoner by that villainous series of stones, he no longer had his company. Who did the company belong to, now?

 _Probably my_ brother.

His piercing stare softened at the thought. He didn't dislike his younger brother. Hell, he loved him more than anything else in the world. Just because he hated how much ponies loved Prime didn't mean he hated _him_. He couldn't. Prime was the only one to know what it was like to grow up with a dying mother and a series of ponies trying to take their possessions.

But Prime was _weak_. He didn't know how to deal with the collectors. The only things he knew were making friends and telling stories. Stories can't pay the rent.

...

The more Time thought about it, he realized he was wrong. Stories _could_ pay the rent, _these days_. But back then, the technology hadn't existed. And Prime was only a little colt. Who would pay to hear stories being told by a foal? Nopony, that's who. In their youth, it was Time's job to take care of his brother. When Prime needed something, Time was there for him. Be it harassment from collectors or the simple school bully, Time had taken care of it in his own _special_ way.

_The crunches felt nice._

_They never bothered us again._

Time Warner immediately shook is head when the thoughts started popping back up. He didn't like when they started suggesting things. Ever since that one confrontation with an overly aggressive collector, he had been getting...urges. Urges to hurt. Urges to scare. Urges to keep those that would dare harm his brother away.

_He shouldn't have threatened Prime._

The blue unicorn shook his head as he pressed himself harder against the wall, his horn scratching painfully against the stone. His blood was smeared even more, but he still didn't care. If his blood couldn't get him out of the walls and back to his company, he didn't want it. It could all leak out and leave him, for all he cared.

His mind drifted back to his beloved _Olivia Warner Productions_. He wanted nothing more than to be back at his desk, confined by walls that he trusted. The best place he could imagine would be one where he could be all alone without a single pony to interact with.

But...

Prime was older and stronger, now. At least a little. If OW was to be with a different owner...

Time wouldn't trust _anypony_ else. His company would be in good hooves. At least for as long as these walls continued to reject his proposals for an early release. He would get out for good behavior, obviously. Maybe a bribe would also work. Did walls like blood? He had given plenty of that already. Would his blood be a suitable offering for bail?

"You have a visitor," Time heard a voice say behind him. What? That voice didn't make any sense. It didn't even sound like the normal voice he heard. It sounded like somepony else...oh, it was. There was a guard standing patiently on the other side of the cell door.

The prone stallion twisted his neck around, unintentionally giving the guard a good look at the blood-stained nightmare that his face had become. The armored pony outside the cell door had to resist the urge to gag at the sight. The blood was caked on, leaking in some spots and dried in others. Time looked like a pony had painted his face red, tried scraping it off, and then put another coat over the first.

Time huffed at the guard. Those that stood around in armor and tried to act strong didn't deserve his respect. They were no doubt all responsible for some form of abuse. _All_ guards abused their positions at some point. What had this one done? Probably shoved a starving family into the streets for not being able to afford their home.

_He shouldn't have threatened Prime._

Time agreed with the thought in his head. Guard or not, that stallion got what he deserved.

After a few moments of silence, it became clear that Time was not going to respond verbally. The guard nodded and turned, letting in another set of hooves. The clopping of shoes along the cold, hard floor became the only sound to fill the air for a few moments.

"Geez, Time, what did you do to your face?" a familiar voice spoke out to him. Time's ears flicked up, taking in every sound in the room. He knew that voice all too well. But what was he doing here? One of the only other ponies he considered worthy of respect, and he just happened to appear at the cell...just in time to see Time at his lowest.

The bloody prisoner stood up to his full height, his mind switching back into his professional state. He took a few seconds to brush the tattered remains of his suit off with a hoof before turning the rest of the way around to meet the stallion addressing him.

"Common Caster. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Time said articulately. The stallion outside the bars was a mostly white unicorn with a striped red and white mane that was combed over to the left side of his head. He looked exceptionally clean; something that Time admired greatly. The air he walked by was always left smelling of roses and success.

How did Time know what success smelled of? _He just did._

To complement his aura of business, Caster adorned a very fancy, recently pressed black suit. It was the kind that Time had been lusting over for the better part of three months, ever since the original designer quit making suits. The works he had completed before then had shot up in value at an alarming rate, and every business-pony was suddenly clamoring to own one. Time was among those. The hardest part was finding his size in a suit that had been tailored for somepony else.

"Seriously, Time? _To what do you owe_ \- YOU'RE IN PRISON!" Caster exclaimed in exasperation, throwing one of of his white hooves in the air to make his point. Time looked around at the walls surrounding him, humming to himself in thought.

"Oh, so I am," he responded casually. Caster just sighed and facehoofed, the guard behind him trying not to smirk. He wasn't going to get anywhere with the bloody stallion if he just pointed out the obvious.

"Ugh. To answer your question, I'm here on business. It's the only reason they actually let me in to see you," Caster explained, his eyes probing over Time Warner and looking at the rough state he was in. Caster wanted to know what had happened, but he had been told that the details surrounding Time's case were still confidential. What could have happened to set Time off and end up so badly worn?

"Oh?" inquired Time Warner, his ears perking up again. Business was one thing he was definitely comfortable with discussing. _Especially_ if it meant keeping his company somehow. Oh, how he hoped that's what was happening.

"Yes. It seems that all the GemShow programs were... _postponed_ , as of this morning. I was personally notified by the _FlimFlam_ 's about the reasoning. They said something about some idiot unicorn using a 'SuperShow' to pull out another unicorn's memories and doing... _something_ with them. Now they have to recall _every_ GemShow product and update them with new safety enchantments. It just struck me as odd that this happened the same morning that I heard you were imprisoned. I just came by wondering if you would have _any_ idea what the bloody hay has been going on," Caster explained.

Time Warner's eye twitched. His ear followed suit. He wanted to pretend that that entire conversation had been nothing but more voices, but the ringing in his ears confirmed that the voice had been real.

_All the GemShow programs were canceled._

_The gems were being recalled for who knows how long._

_Time was in prison while this was going on, with nopony to take care of the company during his absence...besides Prime._

Another nerve in Time's ear twinged, causing it to flick. Prime might have been able to handle the company during a normal time...but this was not a normal time. They were putting every single show on hiatus! Every gem was going to be brought back to be worked on! Time knew that his little brother couldn't handle that kind of stress.

"N-no..." Time muttered under his breath, his pupils dilating somewhat. Who was going to run the company now? He trusted no other pony with handling something so precious to himself. Not only that, but who else would even know _how_ to run a company like OW? The only other pony that he knew that was in the same business...was standing right in front of him. Time's eyes slid up to look at Caster, who had just got done sighing to himself. He had taken Time's expression of dismay as an answer to the question he had asked.

"Ugh...well, it was worth a shot. I just hope I find out what's going on before I have to put good ponies out of work," Caster lamented. The stallion behind the bars didn't even hear him. Time was still caught up in his own mutterings.

_He has to, only choice._

_Mom must stay alive._

As much as Time didn't want to, he knew what he had to do. And he had gotten out of asking for help for so long...even through the near-merge, OW had survived without outside help. Ryan Burbank had changed all of that. A vein began in Time's left temple started pulsing a bit harder at the thought of the unexplained human.

"Common Caster...I might be required to ask of you a great service," Time mumbled, trying to remain as professional as he could. The urge to punch Caster in his smug face was tickling at the poor unicorn's inhibitions. The black-suited stallion on the outside of the cell turned with a surprised, yet curious, look.

"Yeah?" Caster perked up. Time flinched a bit at his informally manner of speaking. That was possibly the one major flaw with Caster's character, in the eyes of the imprisoned unicorn; for an executive in charge of a metric _load_ of gem shows, Common Caster talked _much_ too openly. Time was making such an effort to remain respectable and polite, so why couldn't Caster just show a little more professionalism? The older Warner brother took a deep breath, steeling his nerves in preparation for the words that were about to leave his lips.

"I...must ask you to watch over _Olivia Warner Productions_ in my absence. At least until I can get this mess sorted out," Time spoke as evenly as he could. It was becoming much harder for him to remain standing. The bloody wall looked like it needed another smack. On the other side of the solid steel bars, Caster was giving Time an oddly amused stare.

"...What, really? Me? What about your little brother? Isn't he, like, second in command?" Caster inquired. Time couldn't tell for sure, but he got the strange feeling that Common had planned the entire interaction between them. He _knew_ that Prime would not be able to run the company in such a dire situation. He knew that Time would lose faith in his younger sibling and reach out for help from a more experienced source. As much as Time Warner hated knowing that he was doing exactly as Common Caster wanted, he had no other choice.

"Prime is young and weak. If the situation was not as bad as it was, I could trust him to run things for awhile. The situation is not _at all_ small enough for him to handle. Please, Common Caster, I need your assistance. I can make it worth your while. What was that idea you brought up last year? With the _OtherWorld-Bojack Human_ crossover? Consider it done. The rights are yours," Time pleaded. After every word, he could feel his head tingling, begging to be slammed against the cell wall again. Caster very subtley bit his lip, entranced at the idea of having his human-spinoff show merging with the original for an episode. The publicity would be _amazing, especially_ after that last episode of _OtherWorld._

Common Caster wouldn't admit it to his pseudo-rival, but he really envied _OW Productions_. The small gem show company showed up out of nowhere, starting out with some smaller dramas. While not big, it was successful enough that Caster had offered to let them merge into his own, much larger company when they hit some financial trouble. Just as they were about to complete the merger, Prime Warner appeared with some random mint green unicorn. If Caster knew then what he knew now, he would have spent most of his company's budget to buy that mare over. She was the one; the creator of _OtherWorld_. He had tried buying her over after the fact, but she had become friends with Prime and said that she ' _couldn't do that to him_.' What rubbish.

The way that mare manipulated the emotions of her audience...Caster was in love. He wanted her under his payroll so badly that he actually worked himself into a fever at one point. The desire to have that special gem that the younger Warner brother had somehow found...it ate him up inside. Where had she been the whole time?

Bucking _Ponyville_. The one village he had neglected looking into, and _of course_ she had been there. He had made it _way_ too easy for Prime to one-up his company. But now, he was once again at an advantage. This time, he was not going to let it slip.

"Of course, my friend. I wouldn't let another company like mine sink during a time like this. I'll do what I can," Caster responded, a friendly smile spread across his lips. Time, despite having his wishes fulfilled, flinched and looked to the floor. He had pretty much just given his pride and joy away to his competitor.

"Thank you, Common Caster," Time said lamely. He wanted the wall. The wall needed more blood.

"And you think Prime will be okay with it? I know how much he cares about the company," Caster brought up as he started to turn his body towards the exit. A brief flash of red surged across Time's vision at the mention of his brother.

_He shouldn't have threatened Prime._

Time blinked. Why was he hearing that again? He already knew that the guard got what he deserved for threatening his little brother. The recent context gave that thought no meaning. What was it-?

_He shouldn't have threatened Prime._

Another image danced in front of the blue unicorn's face. It wasn't just a red flash this time, it was...a figure.

_He shouldn't have threatened Prime._

The image gained more clarity, until Time could finally tell what it was. It was Prime's terrified face.

_I shouldn't have threatened Prime._

It all came crashing down onto the bloody stallion. _The fight_. He had almost gotten into a fight with Prime. He had...he had almost struck him down. The magic in his horn had felt so _itchy_. It wanted to be _let out_ ; to fly into the younger stallion's heart and stop it forever...just as it had done many times before. His own brother... _he had almost killed his own brother!_

Time heaved violently, letting out the mushy remains of what _used_ to be bread. The acids spilled out onto the floor, mixing with the droplets of red that had been steadily falling. The cell that contained Time Warner became 2000% more disgusting since his arrival. The guard, previously in a daze off to the side of the cell, became alert as soon as he heard the bile hit the ground.

The guard transformed into a flurry of hooves and keys and he tried finding the correct piece of metal to unlock the cell door. With the open wound that Time already have, the guard realized that he was already in a heap of trouble. He should have taken him out sooner to get medical attention, and now he was sick! _Oh, he was in for it._

Meanwhile, while the guard imagined what life on the streets would be like, Time Warner wailed loudly. It was a shout of regret, disbelief and emotional agony. He couldn't _believe_ he had almost used his magic on Prime! The only pony in all of Equestria that he had sworn to watch over and protect...and Time had almost been the one to steal away his breath forever. The repressed memory of Prime's face as he trembled before his older brother...it was tearing Time _apart_. How could he have done such a thing?

Worse, how could he have forgotten that he had done so until then?

None of it would have happened if Ryan hadn't-

_Ryan._

Of course! It was Ryan's fault! He had been the reason they had been forced to travel to Ponyville in the first place! Not to mention, the bucker burped right in his face and sent him flying through a dozen walls! Everything that happened...was going to happen...it was _Ryan's bucking fault!_

The stallion squirmed in the guard's grasp, pushing himself back towards a very confused Common Caster. The white stallion actually had to take a fearful step back as Time approached him, a mixture of spittle, blood and vomit coating his face. He looked very much like a rabid animal, with the way he was growling and clicking his jaws together.

"I...have...information..." panted Time as he clung himself to Caster desperately. The poor stallion just stared down at the bloody thing latched to his body, unable to do more than nod.

"It was Ryan. I was...arrested for attacking Princess Twilight...and...and _Ryan!_ _Ryan Burbank! RYAN BUCKING BURBANK!_ They brought him to life somehow! Common Caster, Ryan is here!" Time Warner screamed maniacally, an insane grin spreading across his repulsive face. For a moment, Caster thought that the lunatic was going to kill him.

_Bong_

Before anything else could have happened, the guard chose to simply subdue the raging prisoner. He did so by means of conveniently-placed frying pan. The face that had been manic and blood-thirsty only seconds before had now become serene and doofy. Time Warner slumped down, right onto the back of the guard. Grumbling to himself, the guard balanced the unconscious prisoner on his back and made for the door. He didn't get paid enough for what he had to go through.

As the guard carried his charge away and towards the medical room, Caster stood in stunned silence. Time's words ran through his head on repeat, his mind trying to find any meaning or use behind them.

_Ryan was alive?_

Ryan from _OtherWorld_? That was just silly. Humans weren't real and everypony _knows_ that. Could Time's words have just been those from a manic pony driven insane by the containment? Caster knew that his semi-rival had issues, but he had never seen him like _that_. It was almost like he had been trying to break through the wall...with his head. All that blood...

Then, another thought ran through the white unicorn's head. The whole situation involving the gems and somepony getting their memories pulled out...could the events have something to do with Ryan? Was it actually possible to bring a fictional character to life? They would need some kind of...

_Construct..._

A glow began to emit from Caster's horn, bathing the dark room with a golden light. To anypony involved heavily with money, they would have recognized the tint as being the exact same as that of a bit coin. Caster didn't leak magic in the same way the Warner brothers did when they got inspired. The visualization of actual shapes was a talent reserved to only those two. Instead, Caster simply lit the surrounding area with the same color as that lovable metal referred simply to as ' _gold._ '

As he started following the guard out of the room, Common Caster let a sly grin spread across his face. Whatever was going on with the gems and Ryan Burbank, he got the feeling that it was suddenly going to become very... _very_...profitable. He was just going to have to figure out how they did it.

 _One way_ or another.


	17. S1E17: Training Montage

"Ooh, what's that?"

"Ryan, that's a tree."

"Hmm...okay, but what about that?"

"...That's another **tree.** "

"Oh, so it is. What about-"

"RYAN, I SWEAR, IF YOU POINT TO ANOTHER TREE-"

"What's that **city** up there on the **mountain?** "

"Oh, that's a tree."

Hook, line and sinker. I just stared at Sarah with this smug-ass grin on my face, watching as she gave serious consideration to ending me. I guess I was just too cute to murder, since she chose to hide her face under her wing instead. The extra blood in her cheeks made her turn a dark shade of purple, reminding me of a larger, older, _purpler_ Twilight.

"Wanna try that again, Bear?" I asked her, running my hand down her back to let her know that I was done joking for the time being. She responded by grumbling to herself before lifting her face away from the seat of the train car we were in together. We had decided to pass the time by looking out of the window, with Sarah explaining the sights to me as they passed by with the terrain.

"That...is Canterlot...and it's not a tree..." she mumbled. A little voice from below me piped up.

"Oh, I'm sure there's nothing _wrong_ with being a tree. Sometimes, I like to imagine that I'm a tree..." Fluttershy spoke from her position on my lap. At some point, she had hopped up and snuggled with me very much like how a cat would. This surprised me for a number of reasons:

One, Fluttershy wasn't being shy. She just plopped herself down like she owned the place and knew exactly what she wanted. If someone told me yesterday that Fluttershy would be cuddling up next to my dick, I would have told-

...No, you know what? I hate that saying. It's stupid. Let's just say that I had expected Flutter _shy_ to be, you know, _shy_. And she had surprised me by being assertive.

Two, Sarah's reaction. I had expected my girlfriend to be all up in arms about another mare snuggling so close to my junk, but Sarah didn't even seem to _care_. She wouldn't even let Dash into the same train car as me, but Fluttershy was all good for some reason. What, did she not see the butter-yellow pegasus as a romantic threat or something? I mean, I was glad, but I was also _confused_. She was suddenly acting just like I had always wanted her to act around other girls. Why was Fluttershy so special?

Hmm...I guess I _kinda_ get it. Out of all of my new friends, Fluttershy coming onto me was the _least_ possible. She had been treating me more like a kid she was caring for, which was a relaxing change of pace.

That didn't explain why she was acting like a clingy cat, but whatever.

Sarah just shrugged her shoulders in response to Fluttershy's rather odd point. What was she _supposed_ to say to that? I was just glad that my new shorts were thick enough for me not to feel the pegasus through them.

****

Shortly after that fun little... _session_...in Lyra's house, Bon Bon returned and promptly kicked the rest of us out, including Lyra. She was more polite about it to Sarah, but Sarah understood. _Surprisingly._ Lyra was rested well enough, but I still needed a shower and some duds. The clothes I were wearing were somehow unharmed, but I didn't want to push it. They belonged to Twilight, and I was dead set on returning them. My only worry was whether or not she would actually wash them when I gave them back...

Just another conversation I needed to have.

Armed with a plan, but with nowhere to go to get away from the fans that were going to inevitably appear, we set out to Rarity's. To both my relief and regret, we found the Carousel Boutique in prime condition. The wall looked like it had never been touched. If someone walked up and didn't know that there had been a hole in it the day before, they would have never guessed.

I was relieved for obvious reasons. Rarity never deserved to have a hole blown into her back door. _Heh._

I was regretful...because, well... _I_ wanted to help fix it. It had been _my_ fault; it should have been _my_ responsibility to repair the damage I had done. But apparently, the construction crews around Ponyville were super-fast. I just hoped that they were super-cheap to boot.

We went inside through the unlocked front door. I say 'unlocked' because I doubt it was meant to be open at the time. As soon as we walked in, we came across a buttery yellow pegasus snoozing peacefully on a couch. She was just so cute laying there, of course we didn't wake her. On, no, Rarity did that for us. When Lyra had the amazingly bright idea to look for her in her room, we were treated to another one of Rarity's high-pitched death screams. Never wake a sleeping fashionista, I guess. _Yeesh_.

Lyra flew from Rarity’s room, seemingly propelled by the force of the banshee wail. Luckily, she flew right at me, allowing me to easily pluck her out of the air and hold her. She gave me a sheepish grin, which I returned before setting her back down on the ground. Oh, yeah, Lyra's pretty cool with Sarah, too. Sarah must know that I see Lyra as my mom. No romantic possibility there, I'm afraid.

I lied. I'm not afraid. Not into pony/human incest, sorry.

Dash had been floating gently behind us, still on her cloud. Was she going to be riding that thing everywhere? If so, I might need some insulin just in case she gave me diabetes. I would have to keep her away from any children's toy companies; I'm sure they would find a way to make her riding a cloud into a smash-hit toy for the holidays. As she was, Rainbow Dash was trying to hold back her laughter at the scene taking place before her.

Rarity stomped out of her room moments later, her mane a sad mess. She even looked as if she had been drooling in her sleep, taking the edge off her mounting anger. “You do not disturb a lady’s beauty--” she started, before cutting herself off as she noticed me looking at her with a raised eyebrow, then flushing and darting back into her room. The door slammed behind her so hard that I thought I almost got another chance to help her repair her house. "J-just one moment, Ryan! I'll be out before you know it!" I heard her call out from inside. I sat myself down on the couch next to a slightly stirring Fluttershy.

The following minutes consisted of our little group listening to Rarity throw a fit inside her room. Brushes hitting the walls, hair driers dropping onto the floor, make-up containers being emptied, all that good stuff. I actually made a little game for myself where I tried to think of the most perverted things to go along with the sound effects I was hearing.

The best one I could remember was hearing the sound of snapping rubber and thinking about condoms. It was the most obvious, but seriously; what the fuck was she doing in there that would be making condom sounds? _Honestly_.

While we were waiting, I was surprised by a pink-maned head pushing itself under my left arm. Yeah, that whole ' _Fluttershy is a cat_ ' thing? Didn't start on the train. I noticed it pretty much as soon as she woke up. It didn't bother _me_ personally, but the possibility of _Sarah_ attacking her nearly gave me a heart attack. Luckily, that was when I discovered that Sarah started pretty much ignoring her. That feeling when I let my cheeks unclench...it was pure _bliss_.

Since Fluttershy was acting like a cat, I decided I would pet her like one. I ran my fingers through her pink mane, amazed at how soft it was, even though she had just woken up. I made sure to steer clear of her wings; I didn't want to sexually arouse a fucking _cat_ , not to mention Sarah might have killed me. Curiosity also demanded that I subtly search the yellow mare for the medical kit that I had seen her with. To my agitation, I couldn't find any sign of it. Either she was hiding it where I couldn't see it, or simply didn't have it. In response to my attention, she would occasionally make these little murmuring sounds. Between Dash and her cloud, and Fluttercat, I was seriously in danger of having another heart awwtack.

" _Alll done~_ " Rarity sang as she stepped out of her room, looking as gorgeous as ever. Gorgeous as in, like, well taken care of. Not the _sexy_ kind of gorgeous. The feeling of confusion caused yet another feeling; dread. I didn't want to know why I was feeling confused. Best not to think about it.

"Mkay, cool," I responded, standing myself up. Fluttershy made an _Eep!_ sound as the sudden movement and scrambled to get out of the way. Yep, pretty much a cat. She leapt down off the couch and joined Lyra next to me. Rarity blinked and looked around, just then noticing that there were four new beings in the room, not including Fluttershy.

" _So_...what can I help you with?" Rarity asked, letting out a dainty yawn. I could tell that she had bags under her eyes that she had tried hiding with make-up. Oh, great. She had been looking for Lyra and me all night, and I had just woken her up. Same with Flutters. Geez, I have a habit of disturbing others, don't I?

"Well...I was _kinda_ wondering...if you could, _y'know_...clothes?" I asked, trying not to say it directly. I felt bad enough about waking her up after she had forgone sleep in my favor, so it made me feel like a bit of a jackass to just start asking for shit. Shit that I couldn't even pay for.

Rarity looked at me with her head tilted, my request taking a few moments to register with her exhausted mind. When she finally understood what I was asking, I swear her eye-bags just evaporated.

"OH! _Of course!_ Why, I would like nothing more!" she cheered, dropping her ladylike mannerisms to celebrate. I crossed my arms and smirked down at the white unicorn while she did her little dance. It was as cute as I could have ever imagined. The dance consisted of her hopping on her right-front and rear-left leg, and then alternating back and forth. She looked like she was running in place. Trotting in place?

When Rarity noticed that we had all been watching, she quickly regained her composure and left the room to get her measuring supplies. We had started measuring me last time I was here, but Time had made sure that we got nothing done. Once she had left the room, Dash finally let out the peals of laughter she had been holding back. I really couldn't blame her, though. I let out a few chuckles of my own. Sarah wasn't smiling, but I was pretty certain it was because of Rarity's eagerness to get close to me again. If the dance had been for some other reason, I suspected she would have been in stitches. Oh well, maybe I could make her laugh some other way.

I was _Ryan fucking Burbank, son_. Laughter was my middle name.

Okay, my actual middle name is Walter, but that's a secret.

Getting fitted for clothing turned out to be just about as exciting as you would think. And by that, I mean I _may_ have had a bit of a freak-out when I saw all those needles floating towards me like a wall of spiky death. Needles don't normally scare me; I'd donated blood a good amount of times. But when I saw them all pointed at me like a crowd of angry lances...well, I took off running.

It took the combined efforts of Sarah, Lyra and Fluttershy to convince me to sit still. Dash _might_ had helped, have she not been laughing herself silly the whole time. Sarah responded to her teasing by destroying the little cloud the blue pegasus had been riding around on.

That...actually made me sad. Dash just flopped to the ground and stared at all the little wafts of cloud that lingered before they too evaporated. She had seemed so cute in that little puff, riding it around like Goku. Sarah taking something like that and destroying it just because Dash laughed at something I did...it _pissed me off_. What was wrong with laughing at my silliness? That's what I wanted! I loved making others laugh, so why did Dash offend her so much by doing so?

I suspected that Sarah just downright didn't like Rainbow Dash. I didn't know if something hostile had taken place between the two, but her _shit_ needed to stop.

"Sarah," I said sternly as I watched Dash try to hide some tears of aggravation. That was _her_ cloud, specially formed for _her_. Sarah turned her angry glare towards me, but it melted when she locked eyes with me. I guessed that she didn't expect me to look angry at her. What, did she think I was mad at _Dash_? Fuck that.

"Hm?" she responded.

"Dick move," I scolded, making her shoot me a look of confusion. That look was quickly replaced by one of indignation.

"What? She was laughing at you!" she tried to defend herself.

"Since _when_ do I mind people laughing at me?" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up into the air. What part of me being Ryan fucking Burbank had she forgotten about? Sarah narrowed her eyes at me, but didn't say anything further. Okay, fine. If she was going to stay silent, then so was I.

Once Rarity had taken my measurements, she went to work on... _something_. She wasn't telling me what. I had to remind her over and over that I wanted something casual and comfy. No suits. I made it clear to her that if she made me a suit, I would _never_ wear it. Suits are the fucking _worst_. The way they strangle your body and make you feel like you just ingested starch... _bleh_.

While Rarity did her thing, I went over to Dash and picked her up. She jumped a bit at the sudden contact, but held on anyway. Sarah, I swear to god, _growled_ at her. Dash didn't even respond; the loss of her cloud must have been affecting her more than I thought. How long had she had it? Oh, I fucking hope that wasn't some kind of long-running pegasus family heirloom or something.

Without another word, _especially_ to Sarah, I walked out of the boutique. None of the ponies followed me; I think Lyra and Fluttershy sensed the tension between Sarah and me. Those ponies could be _really_ smart when it came to understanding emotions, I was slowly realizing. That is, when they weren’t being dumber than rocks. Holding Dash in my arms, I looked up to the sky.

"So, how do we do it?" I asked the sullen pegasus. She blinked and looked up at me, her eyes still a little bit red. She must have been trying to act tough in the face of being pushed around like that. Sarah knew that Dash couldn't fight back with force or she would risk committing a crime against the kingdom. In short, she was being a fucking _bully_. Why? Where was the adorably loud, curious woman I had come to love?

"D-do...what...?" Dash stuttered, trying to find her normal tone of voice. I just gave her a warm smile and ruffled her multicolored mane.

"Make another cloud," I responded softly. Dash's head tilted a bit as she stared at me.

And then she smiled. I smiled right back, turning mine into more of a smirk.

"I wonder how fast you could make another one. Would probably take a few _hours_ ," I challenged, making an exaggerated expression of smugness. Rainbow Dash took the bait, just like I was hoping she would, and shot out of my arms. After doing a few loops around my head, she got right up in my face with her own competitive smirk.

"Hours? HOURS?! Just who do you think you're talking to, Bur _boy_? This is Dash, fastest flier in Equestria! Future Wonderbolt! You think it would take me hours to make another cloud? Pfft, I could do it in _ten. Seconds. Flat_ ," she proclaimed into my face. I could feel her warm breath washing over my face. It smelled of...Skittles? No, that would be stupid. She must have eaten some candy recently. I lifted an eyebrow at the cocky birdmare and chuckled.

"Prove it," I demanded. Oh, those words were just the kick in the ass she needed. In the blink of an eye, Dash was gone. I could faintly see here darting around inside a cloud structure, but she was too fast to keep track of. Holy hell, she even did a few tricks! True to my dare, I counted the seconds she was gone.

_7..._

_8..._

_9-_

"BACK!" she shouted, having suddenly appeared in my face again. The wind from her cone of motion caught up to me and blew by my head, whipping my hair back and sending the hood of my hoodie into a fit. I had to blink a few specks of dust from my eyes, but the sight before me made it all worth it.

Dash was resting her little blue body on top of an even cushier looking cloud than the last. If this one was a cotton ball, the last one was a crumpled tissue in comparison. It was a bit larger, but still fit Dash's proportions wonderfully. Instead of just being a ball-shape, like before, it was in the shape of what looked like a miniature racecar. How...fitting?

"What'd I tell ya?" she asked me, grinning like a cute little idiot. I noticed the chance for another semi-prank and took it.

"That wasn't _ten_ seconds, Dash," I said in the most overly-pompous voice I had ever made. The color in Rainbow's cheeks drained as she realized that she had failed. Before she could sink into her new cloud car in embarrassment, however, I let her in on the joke.

"That was _nine_ ," I assured her, my voice now soft and warm. The look of elated relief that spread across her face...I just wanted to hug her. I might have, if not for her being a few feet above me inside of a vehicle I couldn't even touch. I settled for giving her a warm grin stead, watching as she did a little celebratory hoof pump into the air.

"YEAH! _Told_ ya!" she cheered. I just crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at her, wondering how long her ego would be stroked from this. She still showed no signs of wearing down.

 _Ahh_. I love that feeling of making a sad friend feel better. Now Sarah...I started to feel a tug in my gut when I thought about her. Was she going to be that way from now on? I wasn't used to feeling... _nervous_ around her...she was supposed to be my Bear! To feel apprehensive every time I was around her...it would tear me apart.

Already, I felt nervous about going back inside the boutique. Would she start arguing with me over Dash? I mean, she wouldn't win that argument; I wouldn't give up friends just because Sarah got jealous. But still...just the thought of fighting with her over something like that...

"Hey, Ry, you okay?" I heard Dash's voice next to me. She sounded really close now, so she must have moved her cloud car down next to me. Her eyes were full of concern, which cheered me up a little. No matter what, I wouldn't give up Dash for Sarah's sake. If Bear was going to put me into a position where I would have to pick between them...

I'm sorry, Sarah, but doing that to me would be the end.

The _end_...oh, god...

"I...I'm f-" I tried to respond, but my voice cracked. My voice hadn't done that in _years_. Shit, my vision was starting to blur. No, I didn't want to cry! I wasn't sad, I was just... _agitated_. Unsure of what to do...unsure of what I would do without her. The only entity besides Lyra that I could hold onto during all of this shit...

What would I do? I'd have _nothing!_ And Lyra was going to have to go to Manehattan, as well. Nothing from my home would remain...I would be alone in this world. Who could I go to when I got sad? When I was angry? Sarah would be gone, Mom would be gone, Dad, Emily, everyone...I couldn't...

A pair of blue legs wrapped themselves securely around me. It was only then that I noticed I had been trembling pretty badly. Tears had been pouring down my face and my fists had turned white. I was surprised that I hadn't cut into my palms with my fingernails; it was a good thing I had bit them down to nothing.

"Ryan...it's okay...I don't know what's wrong, but you got friends here. We can help you," she assured me, her hoof patting my back comfortingly. How did these ponies know exactly what to say when they didn't even know the problem? I swear, they're all fucking _mind readers_...but lovable mind readers. She was right; I _did_ have friends. And I'm sure that I could work out the issues that Sarah was having. I was _not_ alone in Equestria. I would _always_ have a friend to talk to, no matter what. I almost felt stupid for forgetting about them...

"I know..." I told her, returning her embrace. She let out a little coo sound as I squeezed her. It wasn't because I was squeezing too hard; I knew my magically-enhanced strength and was being super-careful not to hurt her. Her murmurs were just obvious signs of her contentment. Why was she content? Probably because I was okay. That she was my friend. And probably because I had her back when it came to Sarah's beef with her.

Girlfriend for two years or not, I would _not_ tolerate Sarah being a tyrant among my loved ones. If I needed to, I would pull Emily out of Lyra's head and let her loose on S-

Wait, was that a thing I could do? Could I pull Emily and Human Mom and Dad out like Twilight had done to me?

...

Thoughts for later. Equestria already had _one_ human on the verge of going nuclear, it didn't need three more. And Lyra probably didn't need more of her memories getting yanked out like that. Who knows what damage had been done just from my removal? Maybe, in the future, when everything had been settled and a solution was found...maybe then.

Still, the idea of being able to hug my family again sent an excited shiver down my spine. Dash must have felt it, if her tightened grip was evidence of anything. Maybe she thought I had started crying again. Thanks, Rainbow, but that was just a happy shiver. No more crying for _this_ Burbank. The time for sad was over, the time for cheer was upon us.

"S'okay, Dash. Just thought about something," I assured the supportive blue pegasus. Man, she was one _hell_ of a loyal friend. Something, something, _Elements of Harmony_. As stupid as it sounded, maybe those Elements knew who they were choosing. But what did I know? I was just a work of fiction brought to life via an emotionally-charged purple pony princess.

...shit, I _still_ needed to get over that. It felt so... _weird_.

Rainbow Dash gave me one more tight squeeze before letting go and retreating back onto her cloud. We shared one more knowing smirk before I turned around and started heading back inside. Dash didn't follow at first. I could hear her shuffling nervously behind me.

"Uhm...what are you going to do about...Princess Luna...?" she asked, giving me an uneasy look. Damn it, Sarah, why did you have to start acting like this? Keep it up and not even your _human_ self will get attention anytime soon. To the little blue mare floating behind me, I offered only a smile.

"I got this," I told her before disappearing into the boutique.

The argument never happened. As soon as I walked into the building, Sarah did nothing but sneak hopeful looks in my direction, probably waiting for me to talk to her. I hoped she wasn't hoping for some sort of apology. That shit was not going to happen. _No fucking way_. I didn't glare at her ; in fact, I ignored her entirely, a punishment that I think may have affected her even worse. Sarah sat back against the couch, staring down at her hooves as I walked over to Rarity, who looked like she was just finishing up with something. Holy shit, was she already done? How fast did this mare work? She made a sweatshop full of kids look like the slowest-

...okay, bad comparison. I apologize.

"Heya, Rarity. How's it coming?" I asked casually.

Rarity then decided to creep the _fuck_ out of me by turning her head slowly in my direction, with the scariest fucking smile I had seen in the past few hours adorning her face. I actually took a few steps back to avoid getting raped by her eyes.

"Oh! You're _just_ in time. I _just_ finished the last piece!" she told me, still wearing that scary look. Wait, did she say she finished the last piece? Holy shit, she was the goddamn _Flash_ with clothing! I had only been outside for a few minutes! How had she finished more than a few stitches? Ugh, pony logic. Don't question it.

I could fill a booklet with shit I was learning not to question. _Honestly..._

" _Oookaaaay_ then. _So..._ what d'ya got?" I asked her cautiously. Rarity's smile got wider as she lifted up a stack of freshly made garments out to me with her magic. I gave the stack of cloth a questioning look before slowly grasping it from Rarity's magical aura. Now, I can't be sure, but I could have sworn that the magical cloud tried to feel my arm when I got close to it.

_Don't think about it and it can't hurt you._

I took a few steps back and looked down to the clothes.

_Holy shit!_

These are _awesome_! She made me some _sick-ass_ cargo shorts with a camouflage pattern on them, and a few other pairs with different patterns. She also made me some pants that looked pretty similar to my old jeans, minus the denim. She did her best, and it definitely showed. Whatever material she used felt strong and stiff enough, but was as soft as anything I'd ever felt before.

As for the shirts, she had made a few different ones. The undershirts were all T-shaped, just like I liked them. They were even V-neck! I strongly suspected that Sarah had played a part in Rarity's decision-making. There were three shirts all-together; one was white, one was blue and one was grey. The white one had Rarity's butt mark stitched into it for some reason.

I was going to ask about it, but I then noticed that the blue shirt had Sarah's butt mark. What was the deal with butt stamping my shirts? Well, at least the grey one made sense to me. It was completely plain except for the operator symbol that I had been wearing on my hoodie for the past few months. Why did I like that symbol?

Because _I don't fucking know_. It's simple and I like it. There, _I said it_.

She also...oh, god, she made me more hoodies! They, like the rest of my awesome clothes, were super-awesome. She made two; one was a pull-over like I was used to wearing, while the other was an adventurously-different zipper hoodie. The operator symbol adorned both of them, but I did notice Rarity's mark hidden very subtly down at the bottom hems. They were both softer than any hoodie I had ever felt before, and were light enough not to roast me alive in the sun. Even without the usual hoodie bulk, I could tell that they would be warm when I needed warmth...damn, I felt bad.

How in the actual _hell_ was I going to pay Rarity back for such nice clothing? Oh, she even made me boxers and socks! A bit _weird_ that they all had her butt mark on them, but still! The only thing missing was-

"And your shoes will be done in a little while," she said, raising my suspicions even more that the ponies could read minds. Well, fuck. Got way too many clothes for what I was going to be able to offer her in return.

"So, _uh_...how will I pay for these?" I asked hesitantly. I wanted them on my body and Twilight's collector's items off...but I wouldn't _dare_ put them on until they were actually mine. It was something about personally possessing an item that had plagued me since I was little. I could barely try on clothes at the store to make sure I actually liked them; I would start freaking out when I didn't like something and had to put it back. That was how I got used to wearing loose clothing. My hoodies had always been a few sizes too big, thanks to that acquired preference. So basically, I only really wore what I for-sure owned, even if I didn't know if it fit beforehand. The difference here was that Rarity had sized me first.

Rarity gave me a look a offended surprise. Had I said something wrong?

"Ryan! I'm surprised at you! How could I _possibly_ ask for payment for these? After everything you've done for _me_?" she demanded. What in the blue hell was she talking about?

"I blew a hole in your wall and didn't get to help fix it," I deadpanned to the pretty white mare. She flinched at me and looked down, her mouth moving as she tried to come up with a response. I guessed that she hadn't thought I would counter her argument. It wasn't like she actually had much to shoot back at me, anyway. What _had_ I done for her? Let her feel denim for a little while? Gave her a platonic kiss? Besides that, our interactions were limited to me making her life worse in some way or another.

"...Ryan, you _wanted_ to fix it. And I'm sure you _would have_ helped if other events hadn't taken place," she finally said back to me. I just shrugged and sat down on the bed, not really processing what she was saying. I knew she was just saying it to make me feel better. Maybe she saw how badly everything had been going?

Ugh.

"Mhmm. But really, thanks Rarity. This...means _a lot_ to me," I said, my mood lifting a bit when I saw the relieved look on her face. As long as they were happy, then I was happy. She made a little waving motion with her hoof as a sort of hint for me to try the clothes on. I gave her another thankful smile before picking up my clothes to find somewhere to change. _Element of Generosity_ , that's for fucking sure. I still needed a shower, though...again, ponies somehow could read my mind.

I felt a breeze flow around me in the same color as Rarity's magic. Before I even knew what was gone, it was over. It left me feeling...different. _Clean_. She had apparently just given me a magical shower and left me feeling as smooth as ever. My hair was even bouncy! I would need to learn that one, since I could use magic and all. Well, uh...thanks, Rarity. Back to finding a place to get changed!

"Uhm, Ryan? Wherever...are you _going?_ " I heard Rarity pipe up from behind me. The strangest thing was that her voice didn't sound confused...it sounded nervous, like she was afraid of being caught. Oh, that pervy little devil. She _knew_ what humans thought about running around naked; she had watched my show. I responded by giving her a knowing smirk over my should and shaking my ass a little.

"Not for your eyes, love," I fake-accented at her. Rarity, being white, showed her blushing _much_ more than the other girls. That just made her bashful stuttering all the funnier. I didn't even want to look at what Sarah was doing after that little display. Maybe she would get the hint that she wasn't in charge. Did stepping back into her Princess shoes do that to her? Fuckin' hope not...that wasn't exactly a problem I knew how to solve.

Without waiting for Rarity to explain herself, I stepped into the next room and closed the door. It was a cute little room that looked to be where Rarity kept all of her spare dresses that she had either been working on or saving for another time. Certainly spacious enough, for a glorified closet.

A hint of pink hair caught my eye. Oh, Fluttershy was there with me. Huh, that was odd, I didn't see her when I was walking in...maybe I just missed her. I didn't want to seem rude.

"Oh, hey Flutters. Do you-"

" _EEP!_ "

"-mind if I change in here really quick? Then you can finish doing... _whatever_ you were doing in here," I assured her. Without another word, Fluttershy bolted from the closet and closed the door loudly behind her. Huh, her face was almost as red as Rarity's had been. She didn't see me start to undress, though...oh well, it's Fluttershy. She was probably flustered at the very idea of me getting hot in here and taking off all my clothes.

Getting the clothes on was easy enough. They were pretty much the same as the stuff I wore back in my world. It confused me for a moment that Rarity knew exactly what they should look like, but then I remembered that she had been watching my world and its people for years, now. _Of course_ she would have looked a lot closer at the fashion than anybody else. I shrugged as I slipped on a pair of white boxers, the diamonds being dangerously close to my dongle.

I decided to wear the white undershirt as a way of showing Rarity how thankful I was. That shirt was paired with the zipper hoodie, which I found unnervingly comfortable. I wasn't used to having so much freedom with a hoodie on. I still liked the pull-over hoodie that I had been wearing...but why couldn't I enjoy both? Both were awesome and comfy as hell. I didn't zip it up; it let Rarity's butt mark from my shirt show.

I went with the plainer of the shorts; I doubted camouflage would have gone very well with white, grey and specks of blue. Ha, I was starting to learn a thing or two from that fashionista. I pulled a pair of super-comfy white socks onto my feet and looked at myself in a mirror that had been conveniently placed inside the closet with me. Why did a closet have a mirror? Eh, didn't matter.

I looked...for lack of a better word, _stylish_. For a moment while I was changing, I had been worried that having someone professionally fit me would make the clothes I received tighter than I like. Rarity, drawing on her knowledge of what I liked and what my body was shaped like, had made everything a size or two larger.

Everything was perfect. The sleeves of my hoodie hung over my hands, but only slightly. The flaps of the unzipped front rested above my thighs, just where I liked them.The shirt covered the very top of my shorts, another plus. My shorts went up high enough that my thighs didn't touch, _five points to Gryffindor!_

I ended up walking out of that closet with a huge smile on my face, eager to show my friends my new duds. I hadn't tried out a change of look in so long, I was actually pretty curious about Sarah thought about it...even if I still felt that tugging at the pit of my stomach that tried to pull me back into the closet to hide. What if she was mad again? I would have to b-

No...not going to think about that. Sarah was going to calm down and we were going to find a solution for my body and then we would live happily ever after! Yeah, that sounded good. Let's stick with that.

I walked back into the room to find Rarity cleaning up the mess that had become of her work station, Fluttershy and Lyra sitting next to each other patiently, and Sarah...she was just sitting in the same position I had seen her in last. When I entered the room, her head shot up and she shot me another hopeful look-

-only for it to crumble as she caught sight of what I was wearing. She instantly moved her gaze back down to the couch, her face scrunching up in pain. What the fuck had I done? I was just wearing a whi-

Oh. I chose Rarity's butt mark shirt instead of hers. Seriously, Sarah, _get the fuck over it_. It's a damn shirt.

"I'll wear yours with the camo shorts," I said plainly, moving over to see what Rarity had done with the shoes she said she had been making. Sarah twitched at my words, but otherwise remained motionless.

I...as much as I was angry at her for acting the way she was, I couldn't just let her sit there on that couch and wallow in her sorrows...

She jumped again as I planted myself down next to her on the couch and wrapped my arm around her. She immediately melted and clung herself tightly to me in return. I could feel her trembling...had she been crying? No, I didn't see any red eyes or tear stains...but she was definitely upset.

"Sarah, _please_ , don't treat my friends like that," I told her, my hand rubbing up and down her back. "If you have a problem, I need you to _talk_ to me before you start taking your anger out on them. I thought we went over this..." I had a feeling that she wasn't going to get better after the first time. It was going to be a long process...maybe it would reach her better if she was back in her human form? She sure seemed a lot more relaxed like that; without all the mayhem of this strange pony world. Maybe I could see if she wanted to do that. Later, though. She was upset now and I had to cheer her up while _also_ scolding her. Easy...

The blue alicorn flinched a bit at my words.

"I _know_ , Ryan...I just can't help it-"

"Stop. Yes, you can. Please, don't try justifying it by saying you can't..." I pleaded. Sarah went still and quiet for a moment before sighing.

"Ugh. All these _mares_ wanting your attention...how do _you_ deal with it, being in a relationship already? What do _you_ say?" she asked me honestly. Huh, that...was a good question. Perhaps some insight into the mind of the Burbank could help her understand where I was coming from. Maybe it could also give her some options on how to deal with it herself.

Or maybe it could fly out of my pants. Not even joking, I wouldn't have been surprised if it had. Pony World is fucked up, man.

"Honestly?" I asked. Sarah just nodded, looking into my eyes eagerly for an answer. "I mostly just don't think about it. If it starts happening, I either play it off as a joke or back off. I'm not into ponies that way," I explained. Sarah took immediate offense to that last thing I had said to her.

"How can you say that, Ryan? You're with me!" she objected. I just raised an eyebrow at her, trying to figure out if she was serious.

"Bear, you _know_ I'm not attracted. I've _told_ you. I fell in love with you, and that won't change no matter _what_ body you're in...but I'm just not sexually attracted to your pony body," I told her, trying to make it sound as inoffensive as possible. It wasn't easy telling your ancient pony princess girlfriend that you weren't into ponies. To my surprise, she didn't try arguing. Instead, she chose to pout.

"Yet..." she muttered under her breath. Oh, she thought I didn't hear her. So, what, she was going to try _seducing_ me? As a pony? Very doubtful that she would get very far, no matter how much I loved her.

The shoes fit great, by the way.

****

Once we were all done at the boutique, we set out to ask the other girls if they wanted to come to Canterlot with us. Rarity wanted to come along immediately, but I could tell by her nervous twitches that she desperately needed sleep. It would feel empty without her, but she promised to come up to meet us once she got a nap. Apparently, she wouldn't miss a chance to go to Canterlot with me for the world. At least everybody in the group was going, so far. Well, Mom wasn't, but she still stuck around to help us out. Fluttershy had gone off to see Pinkie Pie and Applejack would be joining us. It would take less time if there were two recruiting parties. Dash had been waiting outside the building in her cloudy car and immediately joined up with us once we left. I think the car might have scared Sarah quite a bit when she saw it.

Poor girl almost got hit by one a couple years back. Though, knowing what I know now...it made a whole lot more sense. She didn't know that a car was, at the time. I thought she was just drunk, but she literally _didn't know_. Stepped out in front of it to get a better look and I had to jump in to push her out of the way. Nearly got my _own_ ass toasted, but it was worth her safety. Ever since then, she hated cars for nearly killing me. I felt the same way about bad drivers almost killing her. And don't even get me _started_ about the time I tried to convince her to let me get a motorcycle.

Anyway, Twilight's castle was the first place we stopped at after we got the clothes. It wasn't favoritism or anything, I just wanted to give her back the fake set of clothes so that I wouldn't have to carry them around. I would have gotten lost again in her castle if it wasn't for Rainbow Dash showing us how to get around. Lyra was just amazed that she was seeing more of the interior; most ponies in town only got to see that main room. The rest was semi-blocked off, but only because there really wasn't any reason for other ponies to be in there.

Dash led us to Twilight's room, using her wings to propel her cloud car along as a faster rate than it would have normally gone. It was really fascinating to see something from my world turned into a cloud like that. Hey, points for creativity. We came upon a very familiar door; it was the door to the room I was first made in. Before the events that took place in Twilight's bedroom, I hadn't existed. I had just been a figment of Lyra's imagination that Time Warner made her kill for the sake of attention. A story became reality on the other side of that door.

_Hhh...wheeww..._

I pushed the door opened and stepped in, relieved to see that the room had been cleaned since my conception. I guessed whatever magical bullshit Twilight did to bring me to Equestria had been quite explosive, if my memory served me right. There was no more scorch mark, the shards of the shattered gem projector had long since been swept up, and the sheets were no longer all over the place. Instead of a giant mess, I instead saw Twilight on her bed against the wall of an empty room, snoozing comfortably.

She looked... _different_. I couldn't put my finger on it at first, but then I noticed how... _naked_ she looked. And then it hit me.

She wasn't wearing her hoodie anymore.

I hadn't actually seen her without it since arriving. Had she been wearing it the whole time? Ew, it must have stank...or maybe not. Maybe she secreted lavender-scented soap. I don't know, Pony World.

There was a little bundle next to her bed in the corner of the room, with a large cone-shape jutting out of it. I had to move closer, but nearly burst out laughing when I realized what it was.

Spike was in a little bed of his own, with a 'dunce' cap stuck to his head, seemingly by magic. Oh, that was the _best_ thing I'd seen all day. Was that Twilight's version of grounding him? _Pfft_ , I wish I had a camera. But, unfortunately, all peaceful moments have to come to an end eventually. I walked up to the side of Twilight's bed and looked down at her. She looked so happy, snuggling in with her-

What. The. Fuck.

Where the _hell_ did she get that asparagus plant plushie? Why the _hell_ was she cuddling it? _What?!_ Why would this world take that story and...okay, I got it.

This world wants to destroy itself. That has got to be it. Magic, random songs numbers that take months to practice for, immortal princesses, and now fucking _asparagus plant plushies_. Oh, they even got the tiny legs correct. _Marvelous_.

"Twilight!" I shouted down at her. Her reaction was immediate. She squeaked loudly and jumped up into the air, her wings propelling her even farther. Unable to compute that she was now four feet off of the bed, the purple pony spazzed out and spun in circles. She flopped back down onto the bed, causing it to almost bend in on itself.

I just blinked as yet another trope of cartoon mayhem unfolded before my eyes.

"S-Spike, what d-" Twilight started to stammer before she could get a chance to look up at me. But man, when her eyes locked onto me...the elation that spread across her face...it _almost_ made up for the way she jumped onto my head and tried to suffocate me with her belly. I just took it like a man, even managed to cross my arms patiently while she had her reunion. "You're okay! You're here! You're safe! I can't believe you're-"

"- _Mmpph_ ," I complained into the purple fluff on her tum-tum. She went motionless for a bit too long; I wasn't feeling the need for air, but it _was_ getting awkward. I could feel Sarah's gaze on us, probably trying to bore on hole into the back of Twilight's skull. When I decided she had had enough, I opened my mouth and gently closed my front teeth around a bit of her soft skin. She still tasted like purple, but a bit more of a sweaty purple. Ew, that part I nipped was probably under that hoodie for _days_. Still wasn't unpleasant, though.

"Yipe!" she squeaked again, this time removing herself from my face. I just stared down at her with an unamused expression, some purple hair still lingering on my lips. I hoped she wasn't shedding. She gave me a sheepish smile, which caused another ' _Squee!_ ' sound. Seriously, where the hell did those random sound effects keep coming from? I swear, if I find some pony hiding somewhere with a squeaky toy...they would get the asparagus plant story.

_Twice._

Unless it was a pony I liked. Come to think of it, was there anybody I didn't like? Time, but that was more of a cautious distrust and refusal to share the same room ever again. I didn't hate him, I just didn't want to be around him. Besides him? I couldn't think of anypony I _hated_.

And if I ever use _anypony_ in my thoughts again, I'll brain myself with a hammer.

Twilight's acceptance of my plan went very much the same as Rarity's had gone. Happy to see me, happy that I was actually trying to progress forward, and eager to show me around Canterlot. Apparently, Twilight lived there for most of her life up until about four or five years ago. So she could show me all the best spots to shop. Not that I had any money, of course. It would still be interesting to see how my fictional world affected Equestria. Would there be stores devoted to selling only _OtherWorld_ merchandise? Ooh, I could give out more autographs! That would be sure to cheer some ponies up! Like Sarah, Twilight was also a bit hesitant about me going, even through her excitement. She had the same warnings about overeager fans that I was already weary of.

From their warnings, I gathered that I had to:

_-Stay with them at all times_

_-Not follow anybody that I didn't know_

_-Refrain from eating anything unless I knew it was safe_

_-Watch out for ponies who wanted to kidnap me and plunder my booty_

Or something along those lines. Just don't be an idiot and stick with the pack, basically. That would be easy enough. Especially the eating thing; I never got hungry. I only ate when I really wanted to taste something. If somebody wanted to drug me, they would need to forcefully shove the pill down my damn throat. And with my magical force, that would be quite the feat.

Of course Twilight wanted to come along. She left Spike alone in his little basket; the dude has somehow remained asleep through that whole thing. Even when I shouted Twilight awake, and even when she started squeaking. Spike slept like a rock. Well, Twilight was okay with leaving him alone, so I was as well. I wanted to know him a bit more, but it seemed like he always got left behind when I did stuff with the girls. Wasn't he supposed to be their friend, too?

Twilight made a quick effort to pack some things for herself, as well as store the clothes I had returned to her. I made her promise to wash them, but I had a sneaking feeling that she wouldn't keep that promise. Oh, if only there were _some way_ to make someone promise something that some entity would keep track of to make sure they kept it...only in fantasy worlds, eh?

With that taken care of, our group set off-

-straight into Fluttershy. I had been the one unlucky enough to trip right over the shivering pegasus. I somehow managed to catch myself before I could hit the ground, but then tripped over Pinkie Pie's bouncing pink body. Curse this cartoon logic! It was going to be my undoing!

"Shit!" I cursed as I, ironically, ate shit. At least the dirt around there didn't taste all that bad. It did leave me sputtering to remove it from the inside of my mouth, though. This world's gravity had a serious beef with me, it seemed, for not two seconds later, Pinkie landed on me and drove me back into the ground. She wasn't that heavy, but her speed...I hadn't been expecting it.

"RYAN!" she squealed happily, giving me my millionth hug of the day. I won't lie, I was enjoying it pretty immensely. I didn't care for the taste of ground, but the warm Pinkie hug was definitely worth it.

Fluttershy had good news, and she had some bad news. The _good news_ was that Pinkie got some more time off from Sugarcube Corner to come with us to Canterlot! Official Princess business has its perks, I guess. I still wanted to actually go inside the bakery at some point...the closest I had gotten so far was when I almost collided into it after my jump. After this was all over, I wanted to go back and eat myself silly.

The _bad news_ was that Applejack was too busy to come with us. She had neglected her role on the apple farm since I showed up, and apparently they had fallen behind. Big Mac almost hurt himself trying to do too many things in a day. The rest of my friends were disappointed, but I understood completely. Who was I to stand between her and her family? I was just some friendly character that popped up because of Twilight's big magical fart. I didn't mean enough to her for her to focus all of her attention on me, and I felt bad for making her think that for any amount of time.

The excitement had hopefully died down for awhile, anyway. I doubted we would need her muscles for anything during the upcoming trip, but my mind was changed by that same fucking group of ominous strings playing a piercing sound of doom. If I ever found out who was playing that damn violin when I said something wrong in my head, I was going to tell them the asparagus plant story.

_Three times._

Eh, that just meant I would have to be extra-careful in Canterlot. The world was giving me enough warnings. Now all I needed to do was listen to them and take it easy. Oh, and not explode. That sounded pretty important, too.

So, minus Rarity and Applejack, we set off for the train station; towards the next step in my quest of not blowing up.

****

I woke up with my head flat against the seat of the train car. I must have leaned over at some point. That was odd, though...I didn't remember going to sleep with a body pillow. It was strangely warm and smelled familiar...and it had blue feathers.

Sarah.

She was smiling contently, but I doubted she was sleeping. I suspected that she just wanted to be close to me again without all the others getting in the way. Hey, I couldn't really blame her much for that; she might have been really jealous lately, but it made sense. She had lived with me in the woods for two years. Who did she have to share my attention with out there? Nobody, that's who. She had been my entire world for awhile, and now I had a bunch of others I had to show affection to. Maybe that whole jealousy thing was just her way of trying to keep what we had from our other world. Maybe getting her to calm down would be as easy as assuring her that I was still there with her.

I gave the lovely blue alicorn a loving squeeze, enjoying the squeaky sound she made. Huh, maybe that's where those sounds kept coming from. Had one of them been squeezing Sarah at just the right time?

Sarah turned around with a small smile on her face, filling me with warmth. Her eyes gazed at me like I was the only thing she ever wanted to see again. Maybe I was.

"I love you, Ry..." she said softly to me. I could see it in her face; the pain from thinking about what had happened earlier that day. It usually took her a day or so, but she usually understood her faults. When we got into arguments, I would just give her time to cool off and think. When you're in a relationship with someone with a temper, learning to back off is a necessary skill to learn.

"Love you too, Bear. It's okay," I answered her before she could even bring her actions up. She closed her mouth and nodded, her head rubbing against my chest. I flinched a bit when I felt her horn scrape me, but she felt it too and moved it away. We didn't say much more after that.

A gentle snoring alerted me to the presence of another in the cabin with us. Turning my head, I could see Fluttershy's yellow fluff moving up and down with her soft breathing. She had taken her spot on the opposite seat, leaving the seat I was on to Sarah and me. She looked so innocent...I didn't want to do anything around her that might dare threaten that innocence.

The movement of the train as it sped along the tracks was surprisingly calming. Looking up at the window, I could see that it had become dark while I had been sleeping. It was so... _strange_ , seeing the darkness without any lights polluting it. The only lights visible through the blackness of the night were the stars.

Oh, the stars. I could see _so much_! I had always wanted to take a trip to one of the deserts in the US to see the night sky. Just to get away from it all, and-

Hold up, what was _that?_ There was something in the stars, something connected with weird white beams of light. It was like someone drew lines between the stars and made their own constellations. It looked like it... _said something?_

_'Ryan is an asshole'_

Oh, god _damn_ it, Sarah.


	18. S2:E1: Arriving at Destination

BLANK: SEASON 2

CANTERLOT

Episode 1: Arriving at Destination

****

_Ow._

_Ow._

Ow _._

Damn, that was a _long_ day. My feet _hurt_. It felt like I was standing on needles...and maybe even a Lego piece or two. I loved my job, of course, but it always left me feeling like I had been walking on hot coals for eight hours. No matter what kind of shoes I wore, it always stung after standing for so long...

Well, at least it was over. Until tomorrow.

"Dammit..." I complained to myself, trying to focus on anything other than my throbbing feet as I weaved around people walking alongside me on the sidewalk. It was like a game to me, finding the fastest and most efficient route through the waves of oncoming foot traffic. I wasn't doing as good as yesterday, but today's crowd had a high percentage of _those_ people that stop walking right in front of you to talk on the phone. If I was more a dick, I would have shoved at least a dozen city-goers to the ground by now.

But being the lovable little scamp that I was, I just gave them glares as I maneuvered around them. After the twelfth or so stopper, I even dared to flip them off as I walked past. Seriously, if you're going to stop walking on the sidewalk, at least make sure nobody's going to peg you up the ass the instant you lose momentum.

In my pocket was a pack of bright pink shoelaces that Emily had wanted me to pick up for her. I made sure to get them just a bit longer than she needed, so I could watch her struggle with the leftover length every morning before school. My pranking knew no limits!

Another wave of throbbing pain in my feet caught my attention and made me flinch irritably.

Was this all worth it? Was this what my life was going to be? Getting up early in the morning, doing random shit until I was scheduled to work, and then going home? Getting paid barely over minimum wage? Was this all a waste of time?

...

Nah, I still had time to think things out. How can anybody expect an 18-year-old kid to know what to do right after high school? Some kids had it figured out, sure, but a lot of others rushed in to something that turned out to be the wrong option for them. Those people would be stuck with what they chose, or they would _at least_ suffer until they could switch over.

_I still had time._

At least the weather was really nice. There was barely a cloud in the sky, the sun bearing down on the population like a warm blanket. It was pretty much the way I liked it; a little chilly, but with warm sun to make up for it. I wasn't too fond of the heat, but only when it was consistent. The outside air, at that moment, was just the way it should always be. _Comfortable._

With the exception of the obnoxious people stopping in front of me, I had had generally good interactions with people over the course of the day. Nobody gave me any problems, and if they didn't want my help with picking out their footwear, they just said so kindly, with no attitude. I appreciated that. I would rather someone not want help and tell me than not need help, but eat up my attention anyway. Too many times, I had helped customers for maybe an hour or more, only to have them just decide they weren't buying and leave.

 _That shit_ was the stuff of gear grinding for me. I mean, if you just don't find anything you like, that's fine. But if you know that you're not going to buy anytime soon, then why bother? I could have been helping my coworkers, other customers, whatever!

 _Urgh_...just annoying. But...at least they're _usually_ really nice to me.

I wanted to keep thinking about what decisions- or lack thereof- had led me to where I was, but I felt a familiar tingling sensation that made me stop and look around. _Oop_ , first, I moved away from the flow of people trying to walk so that I wouldn't get in their way. Couldn't be a hypocrite! Once I was out of the way, I turned towards where the sensation was coming from and stared. It was so... _odd_. I wasn't used to having a sense that literally pulled me in a certain direction.

As hard as I looked, the source of my mental disturbance wasn't immediately apparent. There were too many people, too many possible causes for the tinge of paranoia. It was only after about a minute of vigilant searching that my eyes met those of another. The orbs I stared into were a beautiful shade of teal that I could somehow see, even though they were a good distance from me. The owner of those eyes...

"Whoa..." I whispered, my body locking into place. She...was so _cute_! I didn't say it much, mostly because nobody really cared, but I had a bit of a... _thing_ for smaller girls. Not small as in young, you sick bastard. Small as in short and adorable and a bundle of joy and beauty wrapped into a small little package.

...Ugh, there I go again. Seeing adorable girls _my own age_ tended to make me gush about them inside my head.

And this girl was the absolute _adorablest_. Seriously, she was so short and her dirty blonde hair was so long relative to her size...she was also quite slim. Not unhealthily so, but definitely small. She didn't look like she really worked to keep herself that way; she probably had that genetically-thin thing about her. It was very fitting. And cute.

Her clothing was... _strange_. It was like she never looked at a fashion magazine in her life, which didn't bother me in the least. The random colors adorning her small frame actually made her look even cuter. She had what looked to be a striped black and blue poncho, covering a dark blue T-shirt that was many sizes too big on her. The sleeves of her poncho-sweater thing covered her hands so that I couldn't even see the tips of her fingers. For pants, she somehow got hold of some guy's bright red gym shorts. Again, these were much too large on her.

She had two different shoes on. Not just the style was different, but I could also tell with my shoe-salesman-eyeballs that they sizes were off as well. All in all, she was just a tiny, adorable bundle of _what_.

And she...was standing right in the middle of the ro-HOLY SHIT CAR-!

_RUN!_

The next few moments were a blur of movement, colors, honking, and shouting from the onlookers on the sidewalk.

When I started processing my surroundings again, I found myself sprawled out on the ground, on the opposite side of the street. I could still hear tires squealing, probably the driver trying to get away before any attention could be given to his or her license plate. I hope that dick drove off a hill or something. Oh well, bigger problems. Like, for instance, the squirming, breathing bundle currently beating against my chest and trying her damn hardest to escape my vice-grip. I could feel how tightly I was holding her, so I loosened up a little. That slack was enough for the little girl in my arms to wiggle around enough to bop me in the face.

"UNHAND US!" she squeaked angrily at me. Oh my god. _Adorablest_ _. Command. Ever._ And her assault on my face didn't even hurt. Damn, what did she hit me with, her wrist? It was like she didn't know how to fight with her own hands. At her size, I suspected she had probably never been in a fight.

Or maybe she was like one of those fighting gremlins that hopped around and hit you before you could react. Still cute.

And what was that whole _'us_ ' thing? 'Unhand _us_ '? Did I happen to pick up someone else, too?

Hmm, nope. Just little Pippi Longstocking here. Maybe English wasn't her first language. Her clothes made that idea a bit more plausible. And maybe Earth wasn't her first planet or something. Ha! Anyway, I decided that I had been in contact long enough with the munchkin, who was still trying to beat me into submission, so I unfolded my arms and let her go.

A crowd of people had rushed over to us, after seeing my ass almost get flattened by a minivan. That would have been an _ass_ way to go. Run down by Soccer Mom and her twelve rugrats on their way to game number five of whatever sport was their family fetish. It really made sense that the driver _noped_ away from the scene of what was almost a double-homicide. Bitch.

"Christ, you two alright?" I heard a man ask frantically from above me. Good question. Was I alright?

Hmm, body's a bit sore, but that was probably from soaring like an eagle onto the cement. My legs were fine, arms were fine, ass...

HOLY SHIT I COULDN'T FEEL MY ASS!

_Throb_

Oh...no, it was there. Just numb from the impact. Okay, everything checked out.

"F-fine. I'm fine..." I stuttered, still trying to catch my breath. My heart was going a million miles a second, the adrenaline coursing through my veins like a drug. It was annoying me; I couldn't calm down! I wanted to be mad at it, but that wouldn't work. My emotions were just all over the place after the whole near-death thing. So how was the tyke doing?

Uh...where was she? She wasn't on me anymore, so she...

"STAY AWAY FROM US!"

Oh, there she was, running down the street, screaming her pretty little head off. It was kind of hard to miss a bright ball of every color known to man. Kind of weird that I didn't see her sooner where I was looking for her. Huh. What was up with her, anyway? She had just been standing there...staring at me. Did she even know that the road wasn't meant for standing in? It was truly like she had dropped in from some other reality or something.

As one of the bystanders helped me to my feet, only one thought went through my mind.

_I wonder if I'll ever see her again._

****

I awoke from my second nap on the train feeling... _quite_ a bit better than I had felt in awhile. The reason?

Just ask the blushing blue alicorn who awoke at the same time as I did. Her and her little satisfied smile were all the evidence anyone would have needed to figure out what had been going on. Well, _that_ , and the knowledge of how Sarah could enter and manipulate dreams. And she was a _pro_ when it came to dream-walking.

Nobody knew this better than the pants that I had to change out of in favor of a dry pair. _Sorry, Rarity!_ The whole time, I couldn't get my face to expel the moronic grin that had been plastered on it. My cheeks were redder than any tomato I had ever seen. Even my knees, though they hadn't taken part in our _activities_ , were still quite shaky from the experience.

I didn't even care that Sarah was watching me while I dressed, her eyes hungrily scanning over the same body that she had claimed just an hour or two prior in our sleep. She had seen me naked so many times, it wasn't like her seeing me naked when she was a pony would be any different. My ass was already engraved in her mind. Why not give it an update?

Plus, it felt _good_ to have my natural anatomy while Sarah was in control of my dream. The last time, she had made my dick into a not-dick and forced me to spend the entire night that way. This time, however, I was how I should be; a proud wielder of _schlong-fu_. I had forgotten how _smooth_ Sarah's human skin was when I ran my hand down her-

_Shiver_

_"Eep!"_

...

Who the fuck...?

Oh, it was just Fluttershy, staring at me with wide eyes. Huh...her face was even redder than mine was. And was that...why was the tip of her tongue sticking out...?

...

"OH SHIT!" I yelped in panic, my brain catching up with the fact that I was still pretty much nude. How long had she been sitting there?! Had she been... _oh, god!_ Had she been there where Sarah and I were getting funky?! Our bodies could have been doing _who knows what_ while we dream-fucked! Poor little Flutters! The thought of traumatizing such an innocent, sweet mare nearly made my mind crack. How could I have been so unaware of my surroundings? I remembered that she had fallen asleep with us in our train car, but not before doing what we had done in front of her!

To my surprise though, she didn't scream. She didn't yelp again, or fold her ears back, or... _close her eyes_...oh, damn. Probably wasn't the best idea to stand there staring back at her with my junk flopping around in front of her face.

I wasn't awake enough to remember where I had stored my other shorts, so I did the _unthinkable_ and... _pulled my sticky, used shorts back on_. The damp, clingy feeling almost made me puke. If there's one thing that I hate about clothes, it's _damp_ clothes. Seriously, sliding into a set of _not-yet-dry_ clothing is almost as bad as jumping into a pool with my phone in my pocket.

My chest was still exposed, but that didn't bother me as much. Fluttershy's face went from disappointed to curious in a split second as her gaze went up to my torso. Why was she so enthralled by it? She had seen it before, right? Yeah, when I burnt all my clothes off that time that I almost exploded in bed.

The other kind of exploded. The ' _boom_ ' kind.

Appeasing my own curiosity, I turned my head over to Sarah to see what she was doing in response to our accidental audience.

She was blushing. I couldn't sense any protective anger coming from her, but she was _definitely_ embarrassed by the whole thing. If she had made us do something like that in front of, say, _Dash_ , then I would expect that to be some sort of teasing gesture. Like, ' _Ha, look what I have and you don't!_ ' Here, though, I felt that she just actually forgot Fluttershy was in the cabin with us. Huh. Well, moving on from that mental trauma...

"Sorry about that, Flutters..." I said sheepishly, trying to hide the dark spot on the front of my shorts. If Rarity were to walk in and see what I had already done to something she made, I got the feeling she would have stuffed them down my throat. Stain and all.

_Shudder_

The yellow mare broke her gaze from me for the first time in awhile, her cheeks still trying their hardest to mimic Pinkie Pie's. Despite her obvious nervousness about the whole situation, she responded quickly.

"O-oh, it's...n-no problem...I...you p-probably needed...th-that..." she stuttered, barely managing to spit her words out. She may have wanted to say more, but the air got lodged in her throat and refused to come out.

Huh. As adorable as she was when she was flustered, she was pretty right. I _did_ need that. Between finding out about my actual existence, the overwhelming fan attention, and being lusted after by _more than one_ pony gal, I was _really_ pent up. And to be honest, I was feeling... _distant_ from Sarah. The things that had been going on lately...tensions were getting pretty high.

But that nap...oh, good _god_. I didn't even know she _could_ bend that way!

I was _curious_ , though. Towards the end of our _playtime_ , I had lost the ability to see. Everything went dark, but I could still feel her all around me, touching and caressing in a way only she could. Her skin got a little more prickly, but I could tell it was still her. It was around that time that she had started doing aerobics or something; no normal person was supposed to contort in the way she had.

Oh well, _dream logic_.

I sat back down next to my beautiful girlfriend and gave her a tight hug. Sarah flinched at my sudden movement, but quickly accepted the hug with a large smile and a hug of her own in return.

Ahh. It was good to have some clear, tension-free air for once. Nothing could bother me at that mom-

 _"Arriving at Canterlot Station,"_ came a voice from... _somewhere_. I didn't see any speakers on the ceiling of the cabin, so I assumed it was more pony magic bullshit. My body went completely rigid as the words bounced around inside my head, their meaning taking a few moments to reach me.

Oh. Shit. We were in Canterlot! I was only half-dressed and still probably smelling of...eh, _stuff_! Not only that, though; I didn't have any time to emotionally prepare myself for what might happen once I walked out of the train. In here, I was safe. The train was pretty much empty, at the request of the two princesses currently riding along. They didn't want a crowd of ponies badgering me the whole time, so they basically bought every ticket for this trip.

Out there, I was going to be fresh meat laid out before an army of starving dogs. Those ponies were going to go crazy! If they really cared about me as much as I had been made to believe, then I had to be super-careful. I wouldn't risk leaving the protection of my friends for a single moment. Who knows what a crowd of hungry fans would do to me? Rarity would need to make me more clothes... _for my funeral._

I didn't notice my own shivering until I felt two sets of hooves prod against me comfortingly. Looking down, I found myself staring into two pairs of teal eyes, their concern for my mental well-being melting away my fears.

Of course. I had my friends, and I had Sarah. Two princesses, one of which I was in a relationship with, and some ponies that were national heroes. I really couldn't be in any better hands. Hooves. Whatever. Even if I was issued an army of guards to protect me, none of those ponies would have cared as much about me, and would not fight as hard to keep me safe.

 _"I have friends. I have Sarah. They'll keep me safe,"_ I muttered, trying to convince myself to calm down. Both of the ponies in the cabin with me nodded in agreement and embraced me. Just from the hug, I felt my nervousness washing away. Damn, I needed to tape one of these ponies to me or something. Just being in contact with them was enough to calm me down, most of the time.

"I'm okay, guys. Just...need to get ready. _Hhh...whew..._ " I sighed, trying to clear my thoughts. It would be easy enough to try ignoring everything and walk in a straight line...but I was here _because_ of the ponies waiting outside. They were the ones that needed help, regardless of how nervous the prospect of being swarmed by ponies was.

Fluttershy and Sarah watched me for a few seconds before nodding. They then proceeded to gather their own things. Sarah didn't need have any luggage, because she _lived_ in Canterlot, but Fluttershy had a few bags. Again, I was struck by just how adorable the little yellow mare was when she carried things in her mouth. She looked like a clingy kitten.

As those two gathered their things, I slipped my shirt back on and grabbed the small bag that contained what precious few articles of clothing I had to my name. I would definitely need to start collecting some more music again. How did this world play music, anyway? Guess I'd be finding out soon enough.

We were ready a minute later, but we didn't leave yet. The plan that we had made between everyone going with me was that our cabin would wait until the others could come get us so that we could leave as a group. I hadn't seen Twilight, Pinkie or Rainbow Dash since we left Ponyville, so I was eager to see the rest of my buddies again.

 _"Thank you for riding Ponyville Express, please watch your step as you exit the train,"_ the magical overhead voice said again. Outside the window, I could already hear the hustle and bustle of the Canterlot day life, moving hastily around outside the train. Those voices belonged to ponies that would, only minutes from now, lose their collective shit once I stepped off the train. That idea started stressing me out again, so I went to another.

"Hey, Sarah?" I piped up, my voice betraying a small fraction of the stress I was feeling. My girlfriend turned her head over to look at me, a curious look in her eye, like she was preparing herself to calm me down again.

"Yes, Ry?" she answered sweetly.

"You're a princess, right?" I asked. More curious staring from Bear.

"Uhm, yes, I am. Why?"

"You have chariots and whatnot, right? Personal transportation?"

"Yes?"

"Why the hell did we ride a _train_ that took _hours_ to get to a city we could see from _Ponyville?_ " I finally asked, getting to my point.

Sarah stared at me, her expression losing all possible emotion. She sat like that, staring at me, her gaze hardening as she pondered the course of action we had taken. Then her royal hoof met her royal face.

"Shut up, Ryan. Just...shut up," she complained joylessly. My face lit up and I started laughing. The feeling of being able to tease my Bear once again without worrying about her attacking somepo- _someone_ was pretty damn relaxing. Fluttershy just looked up at me with her huge, adorable eyes, her luggage still hanging from her mouth. Was she trying to give me another heart _aww_ tack? I swear, weaponized cuteness was a real thing around here.

_Knock Kn-kn-Knock Knock..._

That _could_ be them...but they didn't do the last part of-

_Giggle-SNORT!_

Okay, that the agreed-upon Pinkie Knock. Guess it was time...time to go out...there...with...all...those...fans...oh, god...

Again, I shivered uncontrollably. Again, I was comforted by the two mares in the cabin with me. I love all of them. _Seriously_.

"Ryan? Princess Luna? Fluttershy? Are you all ready to go?" I heard Twilight ask from just outside the sliding cabin door. I could also hear a repeating _Thump_ of hooves on wood, so I assumed Pinkie Pie was bouncing happily right next to her. Everything was in order, except for...

"Yeah, is Dash out there with you?" I asked. Twilight coughed nervously, but still answered truthfully.

"Uh...well, she's _out_ , but not with _us_. She, _uh_...she's outside the train. On her cloud car," she informed me.

_No._

_Fucking._

_Way._

Was she just out there, with her car hanging from the train, or something? Oh, that I _had_ to see. But in order to do that...I would need to be...outside...

"Ugh, you know what, let's just do this. Thinking about it only makes me freak out _more_ ," I proclaimed, standing up and walking over to the door. It slid open a bit faster than I was expecting, revealing a surprised Sparkle and an overjoyed Pinkie. The pink mare's random happiness brought a smile to my face. If I could still make her so happy just by being there...then hay, maybe this was going to be easier than I thought. Maybe I just needed to do my thing, talk to and hang out with some ponies and make sure they know that I'm not dead.

Once Canterlot got wind of the news, then I was sure that it would spread around. Maybe I wouldn't even need to travel around to every damn pony city to cheer up ponies. How fast did news travel in this world? I hadn't seen any computers, but they had figured out how to watch TV. Maybe they had a way to send news?

Ugh, stalling again. Just needed to get out there and DO IT.

"You _sure_ you're ready for this, Ryan? I could just teleport us to my room in the castle and wait a bit longer, if you want," I heard Sarah offer from behind me. That...was a pretty tempting offer, with how stressed out I was. But I knew that, eventually, I would have to get it over with. Why not just do it fast, like a band-aid? The worst part was always in my head, I knew.

I steeled myself for the oncoming shitstorm and stepped forward, past Twilight and towards the opening train door.

"Yep. _Let's do this shit_ ," I stated with false confidence dripping from my voice.

****

The first step out of the train was blinding. You never realize just how _dark_ an enclosed area is until you spend hours away from the sun and then suddenly jump back into it. After a few seconds, my eyes adjusted and I got my first look out into the city that held so many of my mourning fans.

Holy. _Balls_. Of course they would make the exit of the train visible from all sides...I had basically no time to gather myself. My hand clenched tightly around my bag of clothing, daring any of the surrounding ponies to try and take it from me. I got magical super hands, bitch!

Behind me, I could hear my friends and girlfriend walking up to surround me. Already, I could feel their protective shield around me, blocking me from whatever forces dare try to snag me and abscond with me. The smile on my face was hard to remove, even with the nervous tremble I had been developing.

Not a second later, I caught sight of a white blob moving around above me in my peripheral vision. Looking up, I came face to grinning face with Rainbow Dash, still scooting around in her wing-propelled cloud car. It still looked just as awesome as it did when she first made it, so I guessed that the train ride up was pretty easy for her. I half-expected the wind from outside a moving train to blow a cloud to bits. Points for pegasus craftsmanship!

With all my friends gathered around and forming a barrier between me and the city, I felt... _safe_. _Safe_ was a strange feeling in that situation, but an entirely welcome one. Okay, now, surroundings.

The ponies around us were much different than the ones I had been in contact with so far...besides for maybe _Rarity_. Most of them were finely dressed, with suits and dresses that would have fit right in at a Banquet Hall. Something must have smelled _really_ good in the air, since a bunch of them were holding their noses skyward. Wonder what it was.

The ponies without suits, dresses, or mane-styles of any kind appeared to be just general day-laborers; bakers, salesponies, street cleaners, those sorts of things. Strangely enough, those ponies were the only ones who appeared to be happy. The fancy ponies were all frowning, with many having dried tears staining their upward-facing cheeks.

Oh...and some were wearing hoodies...just...like...my old one...

_Yaaay_

A sudden bump caught my attention. Looking down, I saw a little dressed-up filly, her head hanging low. I could hear her sad sniffling, the sight of her sullen mood bringing me right back down into my own little depression. Once she had left, I watched her walk away, sticking papers to anything she blindly bumped into. She had put something on me without looking...what the hell? Picking up the paper she had plastered to my leg, my eyes scanned over the bold, black letters.

Remembering Ryan: A Tribute to a Friend  
_Come, every fan and friend, to send off Ryan Burbank_  
_in the the only way he would want:_  
_A Party_  
_Food, drinks and other refreshments will be provided_  
_Music will be taken from Ryan's personal playlist_  
_Today, all day at Canterlot Recreational Center_  
_With Special Guest Speaker_

That was... _really_ touching. If they weren't basically throwing me a funeral, I would have probably shed a tear or two. From the way the invite was worded, they really saw me as a _friend_ , not just a character.

And the whole aspect of another party...it was perfect! The last party in Ponyville worked out pretty well...except for the whole ' _confronted by pony princess girlfriend_ ' thing. I could go for a party that somebody else planned. And what was that about my own personal playlist?

Shit, did they find a way to bring my music to this world, somehow? I could _really_ go for some of my tunes! I had all but given up on the prospect of hearing my favorite songs ever again, which, in hindsight, was kinda silly. If my show was as big as I thought it was, and they at least found a way to broadcast shows, then _of course_ there was a chance of them finding a way to record and play music. Hell, I would buy the _shit_ out of an alternate world's soundtrack.

And what was that about a guest speaker? I mean, I was the guest speaker at the last party...and now the surprise speaker at this one. A sly grin grew across my face as my mind ran around the plot and trying to find any way it could fail.

It couldn't find any, but I was also excited about it. I could have been biased.

The only thing that would ruin it was if I...was seen by the general public before I was ready. Standing just outside the entrance to the train wasn't keeping me very well hidden.

How the hell hadn't any of the Canterlot ponies seen me yet?

"R-Ryan...? Are you still there...?" I heard Twilight ask from behind me. I turned to look at her, giving the confused little purple princess my own look of confusion. What did she mean?

"Uhh...yeah?" I answered with a question. "Why?" Twilight and the rest of the girls pointed at me, or where they thought I was. Pinkie was staring the opposite direction, for some reason. Okay...?

I looked down to where they were point-OKAY INVISIBLE. I INVISIBLE. ME. NOT SEEN. WHAT. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!

I stumbled back a few steps, unable to even see myself. My head started spinning, my sense of direction knocked out of balance since I couldn't see where I was in relation to anything. It was like spinning in circles, closing your eyes, and trying to walk in a straight line. How fucking long had I been standing there, invisible?!

Man, pony magic is stupid! Pretty much every time I've used it so far, it was by accident when I was going through some sort of emotional moment. I _really_ needed to learn how to control the very substance my body was made up of. I didn't want to accidentally turn myself into a pony when I was feeling out of place or something dumb like that.

But...wait...I was invisible. None of the Canterlot ponies had seen me yet. I came into contact with that little filly, but she just stumbled into me and hit me with an invitation without even looking to see what she bumped into. At least she didn't hoof me in the nads. On the other hand, she had accidentally given me the perfect chance to reach a wide audience, containing just the ones who were affected by my death, in a place that I could hopefully be watched closely by my friends.

So all I needed was to find the... _Canterlot Recreational Center_...and work my way up to the front. Maybe play a joke or two to lighten the mood. Would my fans be expected anything less? Well, they surely wouldn't be expected the object of their depression to pop up and say hello!

"It's perfect..." I mumbled to myself. My friends all turned to where I had stumbled, their eyes trying to focus on where they assumed I was. The only thing about me that was visible was the paper, so they just watched that.

"What was that?" I heard Dash ask me, using her cloud car to hover above me, acting like one of those green gems from the _Sims_ games. Again with the unintentional cuteness!

"This," I responded, holding the paper up to her. "They're doing a funeral thingy for me. I have to go there! Become visible at the perfect moment and make everyone happy!" I was cheering at this point. A few ponies around us were looking around to my pack, my voice catching their attention. Their eyes went wide at first, but when they saw nothing, they all just sighed and continued walking. Well, not before giving Sarah a respectful bow. The depression in the air was _really_ starting to get to me...I needed to hurry my ass up. These ponies deserved to be happy.

Above me, Dash was looking over the paper, a devious grin spreading across her face. Once she was done, she dropped it over the side of her cloud for the others to look at. Sarah caught the paper in her aura and brought it down to read. I just smiled excitedly, watching her and trying to gauge her reaction. To my dismay, her face grew into picture of apprehension.

"It's...I'm not sure about this, Ryan. A room full of fans...it'll be like _OtherCon_ in there..." she said, her eyes darting around at the many Canterlot ponies wearing hoodies like mine. The others nodded in agreement, except for Dash. She just pouted and spun her cloud in circles.

Whoa, really? _OtherCon_? I have a whole _convention_ based around me? Holy shit. I mean, yeah, Prime Warner did mention something about going to conventions, but I assumed at the time that they were just like _Comic-Con_ back home; a gathering of a bunch of subjects, not just my show. But it turned out that the convention he was talking about was closer to _MineCon_.

"You've been to conventions?" I asked them all, raising my eyebrow. They all nodded. Oh, of course. They were all pretty big fans, even before Twilight brain-birthed me. I was more curious than ever. Just what kind of things went on at _OtherCon_? They probably played music that I liked, maybe even went around wearing... _heh_ , people shoes. Now _that_ I would pay to see. Ponies flopping around in giant human footwear. Ha!

"We have, usually together," Fluttershy piped up, expertly talking through the strap of her bag. I had almost forgotten she was there. She was so quiet all the time! And...crap, her cheeks were still red. Hope that goes away soon. I didn't want the others asking her what she had seen to make her so flustered. That was all I needed, Dash and Twilight getting jealous over my relationship with their Moon Goddess.

"Hm. How did they go?" I asked, genuinely interested. Immediately, I was assaulted by four different voices trying to relay information to me at the same time, each pony trying to drown out the other. The only thing I could do was stare at them.

Dash, Sarah, Twilight and Pinkie were trying to tell me about their experiences, while Fluttershy just looked up at me, still holding her bag. I crouched down to her, waiting for her to get over the initial surprise of having me so close. Her cheeks grew even more red. I just smiled softly and lowered my ear to her muzzle, inviting her to tell me.

"Uhm...it was, uh...last year. I went with Twilight and the girls, and I brought my...plushie...to get signed. I didn't know that Lyra didn't go public about being the storyteller. It was...really fun," she told me. Next to us, I could still hear the other four shouting over each other. I couldn't make out anything of what they were trying to say. I much preferred the soft, delicate voice of Fluttershy.

"You got a plushie? Of what?" I asked, looking her in the eyes. She adverted her gaze away from where she assumed my eyes were, setting her bag on the ground. After some fiddling around with a strap and a zipper, using her mouth, she pulled out...

...a plushie. Of me. She had a Ryan Burbank plushie. It was complete with the same hoodie design that all the fans in Canterlot seemed to be wearing, and the brown yarn hair matched the image fairly well. It even had a large grin on it's plush little face, matching the attitude I usually had. And she was just holding it in her mouth, looking up at me like she was afraid of what I was going to say about it. What _was_ I going to say? What _could_ I say? Being Fluttershy, that was honestly the cutest thing I'd seen...well, since the _last_ cute thing she did.

"Got a pen?" I asked, giving her a soft smile, though I realized that she couldn't see it. Hopefully, the kindness in my voice would reach her. Fluttershy tilted her head, causing her pink mane to slide down a bit more over her face. Despite her confusion, she nodded and pulled a nice, shiny _OtherWorld_ pen from her bag. She held it out for me in her mouth, since she couldn't see where my hand was. I quickly and gently took the pen from her grasp, causing her to squeak. The plushie of me in my hand was clean, but I could tell it was older than the ones I had signed before. Fluttershy must have been a fan for longer than most. I found a nice, out of the way spot on the back of Doll Ryan and neatly wrote out my signature for her.

Fluttershy's eyes widened and a look of pure, wondrous joy spread across her features. Apparently, I was completing one of her dreams. Maybe even more, if it was originally just to get it signed by the creator of my show. Heh, if only she had known that the storyteller was living in her town the whole damn time.

"There ya go," I said, offering the pen and plushie back to her. She sat back on her rump and took the objects in her hooves, staring at them in disbelief. I still smiled, even though she couldn't see it.

The others had gone quiet, choosing instead to watch my interaction with the sweet yellow mare. It must have been one of the most heartwarming things they'd ever seen, if the sniffling I heard was evidence of anything. I looked up to them, watching as Pinkie Pie hugged Dash tightly...on the cloud. How in the hell was Pinkie...?

 _No_. _Not_ going to ask any Pinkie-related questions. _Moving on_.

Twilight was smiling at me, her hoof wiping away the wetness that gathered at her eyes. Hell, even _Sarah_ was smiling at me. At least she wasn't crying. She was tougher than that, for better or for worse.

The sight and sound of Fluttershy hugging the shit out of her Doll Ryan was enough motivation for me to get my shit moving. I wanted to spread the same kind of cheer that I just gave her, and fast.

"C'mon," I told them, their gazes moving up to where my voice was now coming from. "Let's go to this _'Canterlot Recreational Center.'_ Um...who knows where that is?"

Twilight and Sarah raised their hooves at the same time, thus continuing my quest for smiles.

****

_Ponies._

_Ponies._

_Ponies goddamn_ everywhere _._

_Too many ponies!_

Maneuvering my invisible self was becoming harder and harder the farther we went into the city. Canterlot-ians were filling the streets, the majority of them walking in the same direction. We were headed the same way, so at least I didn't have to dodge ponies walking in the opposite direction. Still, it became a game of hurdles, with the ponies being the many hundreds of 3-4 foot obstacles. I only bumped into a pony once or twice on the way to the Recreational Center, but the ponies in question simply shrugged and continued mourning.

So...since Sarah and Twilight were leading us in the direction of most of the other ponies, did that mean...that most of the city was going to be at the party? Holy fuck. What had I done in my short life to warrant so many damn ponies loving me so much? I still didn't get that whole thing. I was just a shoe salesman who lived in a cabin. What was so fascinating? Ugh, ponies and their clingy love of random shit.

Not that I was complaining. I _loved_ their how clingy they are. It meant more hugs for me!

Another problem that came up during my hurdles was that a lot of the ponies kept stopping in front of me so that they could bow to Sarah. I ended up plowing the first pony who did that over, but I learned from my error and dodged the subsequent bowers. Geez, even in _Pony World_ , I couldn't get away from people stopping in the middle of the walkway to do something. Just another way both worlds were alike, I guess.

The buildings and shops that we passed by were some of the nicest I'd ever seen. Granted, I had only been in this world for a few days, but still. I loved the colors and design of pretty much every shop that we walked by. Hell, I even saw a pony shoe store!

I wondered if they were accepting applications.

Money was probably going to be no issue here, seeing as how I was a celebrity and all, but it would still feel nice to do something that was in any way familiar to my last life. Maybe getting into the shoe business would help me settle in, even if the shoes were horseshoes. I certainly wasn't going to feel right about being a TV star at first! Crowds still made me nervous, especially if all the attention was directed at me.

That thought didn't make me feel better. And, oh look, there's a massive gathering of ponies at the entrance of a humongous, beautiful beige building. Signs were hanging everywhere around the doors, displaying what _looked to be_ a silhouette of me in front of a calming yellow flame. In the pictures, I had my hands in my pockets, and even though my face was just as black as the rest of my form, they still found it necessary to make a cartoonish smiley face over it. It fit my intentions, but it still looked a bit out of place.

Ponies were waiting in a giant line, waiting to get into the room beyond the doors. I didn't see any money being exchanged, which made me much happier about the whole thing; the ponies in charge weren't simply milking my death for money. Instead, each pony received... _a hug_ before being let inside. The door guards were seriously exchanging teary embraces with every pony before being allowed in. The hugs, of course, were returned with passion. I could even hear a few choked sobs from way back where we were waiting.

"Shit..." I whined, my eyes locked on all the sniffling ponies. It didn't matter which pony was which; there were just as many undressed ponies as there were fancy ponies crying in line. Some of the line-waiters even turned to the ponies behind them for _extra_ tearful hugs.

The pony in front of me, a yellow earth pony mare with a puffy blue mane and bright blue eyes, whipped around, her eyes scavenging over the area where I was. Her butt mark was that of a spool of thread. She couldn't see me, but I guess my voice had been picked up by her overly-sensitive pony ears. Oops.

"I...I heard Ryan..." she mumbled to herself. My friends hadn't heard her; they were talking amongst each other and were trying their hardest not to be noticed. Sarah, being the much-larger alicorn and princess that she was, wasn't helping our group stay hidden. The ponies that tried to hold their bows while walking forward in line did get a laugh out of me, though.

"Hiya," I dared to respond to her. Immediately, her ears shot up, acting as miniature radar dishes as they tried to pick up any semblance of my voice again. Her eyes were wide and begging...she really wanted me to talk to her.

"I...now I'm...I'm _hearing_ him..." she sighed to herself, her ears folding back sadly. Oh, no! Not the saddies! I was trying to stay hidden, but I was here to cheer them up anyway. Why not this sad cutie in line?

"I'm hearing you, too," I teased, reaching forward and poking the tip of her ear with my left index finger. The ear flopped around wildly, trying to find my finger again. The mare's eyes went somehow even wider, probably in shock. Heh, I couldn't help teasing this girl. Figured I could do with some practice in cheering ponies up.

"R-Ryan...?" she asked weakly, her legs trembling. Around her, the ponies standing in line were starting to turn to look at her. Oops, didn't want to ruin the surprise and reveal myself to all the ponies _just_ yet.

As much as I wanted to assure the mare that she wasn't crazy, I had to stop talking until it was time. It made me feel so bad, though...she was just standing there, looking up towards where she was hearing my voice, her-

Oh, _fuck me sideways_. She lifted her one hoof like a dog wanting to shake paws! That shit was so unfair!

...

Ugh, _fiiiine._

_Mwah_

A kiss on the head would have to do. The contact of my lips on the fur on her forehead left the mare shivering and speechless. Almost instantly, I could feel a piercing glare burning into the back of my head, even though I wasn't visible.

Oh, shit. Sarah. Did she know? Oh _sheeeeeet_ , yep. A large blue wing wrapped around me and pulled me towards her. Any observing pony that wasn't bowing and staring at the floor would have just seen their Princess stretching. To me, I was trapped. She _definitely_ wasn't going to let me wander around alone, now. Ugh, Bear and her jealousy...she was getting _a bit_ better with it, though. I didn't blame her for the head kiss thing; that one was on me. I couldn't keep doing that shit, but...that mare just looked so _sad_!

Forcing myself to ignore the poor pony holding her head longingly in front of us, Sarah kept me safe as the line shortened. I was surprised that she hasn't been allowed to jump the line because she was a damn princess, but meh. It gave me more time to prepare myself.

Okay, that line didn't last nearly enough time for me to get ready. Before I knew it, we were at the front door and the doorponies were bowing in stunned silence as their princess seemingly showed up to pay respects to me. The suits that the bowing ponies were stained all over with drying tears, a testament to the vast amount of tear-filled hugs they had been getting throughout the day. Poor guys...

"P-Princess Luna!" one of them stuttered, still facing the ground and sniffling. "We...we're honored that you want to say your last farewells to Mr. Burbank..."

Sarah flinched, the memory of my death probably still fresh in her mind. At least _she_ knew what had happened. All the other ponies that weren't in my ring of friends were still just as sad as they had been since they saw me pass.

"Yes...his death was... _most_ untimely. We are here to help our ponies through this time of great depression," she explained professionally, her misty eyes catching only my attention.

Geez, did _humans_ freak out this badly when a character from a show they liked died?

_Probably._

Sarah surprisingly gave the two ponies the hugs they were too afraid to ask for. After her, the other girls did the same, except for Fluttershy. She merely let the guard see her Ryan doll. I have to say, it was pretty funny, seeing the pony's eyes bug out like that. Probably shouldn't have let her show off my signature. Normally, any not-fan would probably just blow it off as a fake. These ponies, however, probably knew what my signature looked like.

If they knew my tongue fetish, I bet my ass that they knew what my signature looked like. Damn fanatics. Still adorable, though.

Once my group got all the hugs out of the way, and they found a guard to replace the one that fainted from seeing the Ryan doll, we went inside. I had to once again duck down as I walked through the door, while at the same time swerving around ponies. My curiousity was at an all-time high as I walked alongside my friends to see-

...

_What in the ever-living fuck...?_

I...I don't know how...I...what...?

_Ponies._

_Ponies on the dance floor._

_Ponies on the dance floor,_ twerking _._

 _Ponies on the dance floor, twerking_ as they sobbed in harmonious misery.

Oh, _goddamn it_. Why was Pinkie already out there?! She was just beside me a moment ago, then the next second, she was twerking her little pink ass off and _baww_ 'ing just as loud as the rest of them. Why the hell was _she_ sad?! She knew I was fine!

Stop...s-stop...just...no more Pinkie Pie questions...

I couldn't even appreciate the familiar techno beats coursing through the room and into my translucent body. My eyes, along with the eyes of all my friends, were locked on the scene playing out in front of us.

How was I supposed to react to _that?_

The ponies were dancing to one of my favorite songs in my honor. Even the fucking _DJ_ was twerk- _baww_ 'ing! What, did they not have a way to actually dance like a human? Maybe ass-shaking was their one move. The only thing I knew what that it was confusing, adorable, and a bit creepy. I was going to be _revealing_ myself to these guys.

I just hoped that they wouldn't rush forward when I did, shaking their asses at me in joy. _Death by pony ass_. What a way to go.

I somehow managed to work past the disturbing sight of funeral twerking, and following my group over to an empty table that had been brought over immediately following word of Sarah's presence. So she didn't get line privileges, but did get a special table for her and her friends. Seems pretty fair to me.

Because I was so cunning and clever, I managed to snag a cup of some kind of juice as I walked by it on the way to the table. None of the ponies really suspected anything, seeing as cups floated around all the time in this world. Unicorns had a levitation fetish. I took a sip and immediately grinned.

Tasted like pure cherry juice. It was honestly one of the best drinks I think I'd ever tasted. Sweet and tangy, but not too strong. It was like _Capri Sun_ , but not revolting.

I took a seat next to Dash, who was... _still_ on her cloud. Why had they let her in with that thing? I would have thought they would _at least_ told her to tie it to the roof for the day, or something. That thing took up a lot of space, especially for the pegasi who could touch it. Oh, well. It seemed to make her happy. Or perhaps riding around in something I saw her build was like a giant _'Fuck You'_ to Sarah? Great, if that was the case, then I still had some drama to endure, on top of my current predicament.

So we sat at that table, trying to think to ourselves. The music was much to loud to have a conversation, not to mention if someone heard us, the surprise would be ruined. I tried my hardest not to look at the mass amount of butt-waving sad ponies dancing in the middle of the room, but _come on!_ It was just too surreal to ignore.

Something that I noticed right away was the occasional pony that would stop and glare at Sarah like she had yanked out their first-born child before it could mature. What the hell was _that_ about? Wasn't she supposed to be their beloved Princess of the Night or something? It was almost like that were mad at her about something _terrible_ that she had done. Oh god, they didn't know she was Sarah, right?! The ponies in Ponyville probably knew, since they saw the whole episode at the last party. I could only _hope_ that the rumors hadn't spread around _that_ fast.

Sarah didn't seem to pay attention to it, so I didn't tell her. Didn't want her worrying about something that might not even matter. Hell, it could have just been my imagi-

No, another pony just did it. Some random fancy-lookin' dude that looked too old to be watching television. What the hell was up with some of the ponies at this party?

A voice that sounded louder than it should have been, probably because of magic, broke me from my thoughts.

 _"Thank you, everypony. Thank you all for coming and celebrating the life of Ryan Burbank with us,"_ I heard a female voice say. It was unfamiliar, but that didn't surprise me. I was in a new city with tons and tons of new ponies, after all. Where was she going with her introduction?

"Shh!" I heard Pinkie whisper urgently at the few ponies who hadn't gotten the hint to shut up yet. Thanks, Pinks. I sat back on my chair, preparing myself for some weirdness. Tears were going to be shed.

 _"As you all know, in the last episode of OtherWorld, he...he d-...*sniff*...sorry, sorry, it's still hitting me pretty hard,"_ the voice said, a choked sob breaking through. Good god, these ponies _were_ obsessed. Ponies around the room nodded along with the speaker, sharing a few tears of their own. _"Eh-hem...he passed on. This party that we're at today was hosted in order to pay tribute to a character that inspired us all to laugh in the face of misery. He loved everyone around him as he would love his own family. He told us so many things about the proper way to live our lives...and he wasn't even of legal drinking age, in his world!"_

A bunch of the ponies in the room laughed at that, but quickly fell quiet again. Damn, I was finally about to learn why these ponies seemed to _love me_ so fucking much. What was so _special_ about me? So far, I got that they loved a character who smiled in the face of pain. That was just a coping mechanism, not a life choice. The rest of what she said was too vague to determine what she meant. God, I hope I wouldn't have to watch the show just to figure out everything. Seeing all the things that ponies had watched me do over the years would be... _disturbing._ What else, mysterious pony voice? Tell me more!

 _"I could go on for days about all the reasons we loved him, but I won't,"_ the voice evaded.

Shit.

 _"Instead, I'm going to let our guest speaker say what we all have been needing to hear,"_ she continued. I sat up in my seat a bit higher. Was this it? I was going to reveal myself during the guest speaker's speech, so I was going to have to face the music. Soon... _way_ too soon. And just who was this guest speaker?

The crowd went silent, the mystery of the speaker drawing everyone's full attention. Who could it be? Lyra? No, she was on her way to Manehattan with Bon Bon and Prime. Celestia? That would have been a good idea, but I don't think a room full of sad fans would take their Sun Goddess telling them to _get the fuck over it_ very well. Who, then? I didn't know all that many characters from the show.

A pink hoof with a golden slipper-thing made itself visible. A few members of the audience were already cheering.

A second hoof joined the first one, with the same regal-looking shoe. Man, this pony had long legs. She might have been closer to Sarah's size, but still a bit smaller. Twilight was losing her shit for some reason, and Sarah was groaning irritably. What? Who was it?

Finally, the pony revealed herself from behind the curtain she had been standing behind. A long, bouncing mane filled with pinks, purples, and what appeared to be cream covered the one side of her pink face. A tiny little golden crown with a purple ball on top of it sat on her head. It looked like something straight out of a Disney movie.

HOLY SHIT, IT'S-!

...

...Yeah, I got nothing. You see, _that_ would have been a good time for the speaker to, y'know, _introduce_ the guest. Maybe not, though, since the crowd started losing its collective shit just like Twilight had done. Okay, so whoever that mare was, she was well-known and probably royalty of some kind. She had a horn...and wings...oh, it was _another_ Princess.

How many fucking princesses did they have around here? What, was there some sort of 5-minute essay you had to take to apply for a set of wings or a horn to go along with whatever you had already? Or maybe they just kept getting born and immediately labeled Princess because of their physical attributes. That would be stupid, they would eventually run out of things to be the Princess of.

_Hey, you, you're the Princess of Toothpaste, now! No buts, those are reserved for Flatulanda, Princess of Butts!_

Heh. I think I found a friend for Princess Dickmane.

_"May I introduce..."_

Fucking finally.

_"The President of the OtherWorld Fandom Alliance..."_

Fancy way of saying _'Fan club'_ , but whatever.

_"...as well as the Ryan Burbank Fan Club..."_

What?

_"...and the Equestrian Society of Asparagus Lovers..."_

WHAT?!

_"The Princess of Love herself..."_

Princess of Love? What an odd thing to be the Princess of.

_"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire!"_

As the pink alicorn prepared to speak, I looked over to see that Twilight was barely containing herself. She looked like she was about ready to _explode_. I knew the feeling well. I wanted to tell her to calm the shit down, but the room was quiet. Saying something would instantly draw a fuckton of hungry fans to my location. A soft voice echoed out into the room, full of despair...but it was also very comforting, somehow. And I wasn't even sad!

"Hello, fellow _OtherWorld_ ers...thank you for coming today. I know some of you managed to travel quite a distance in only a few days, and I know what that feels like. I had to take a train all the way from the Crystal Empire!" she said, smiling a bit. A few supportive cheers rang out from the ponies who were more familiar with her.

What the hell was a Crystal Empire? Sounded expensive.

"Anyway, I'm so happy so see so many of you out here, celebrating the life and times of one of the greatest characters in fiction, _ever_. As much as I still want to believe he's alive...I know it's foolish to delude myself. But we all know Ryan, he wouldn't want us to stay sad over him. I say _know_ instead of _knew_ , because I still feel him. Somehow, someway, I know he's still here, with us. Nothing can truly take him away," she said confidentially to the crowd of now-sniffling ponies. Everyone was nodding along, even my friends. I knew _they_ were just nodding because they were having just as much fun with the irony in the pony's statement.

Yeah, I was still there with them, all right. Literally _in the room_. Uh-oh, Twilight wasn't looking so good. Dash was trying to help her keep her mouth shut, but it was a futile effort.

"And so, doing as Ryan would have wanted, I chose to host not a funeral, but a party. We'll be playing his favorite music all night until the sun rises! Some of his favorite snacks and drinks will be being served all around, and we'll be playing games that he loved, like _Twister_ and _Apples to Apples_. Merchandise coupons will be handed out, for great discounts from the famed Canterlot _OtherWorld Store_. They'll be releasing memorial cloth-"

"CADANCE!" Twilight shouted at the absolute top of her lungs. Her Royal Voice-thingy was getting better. The shockwave from her voice politely suggested that every pony in the room take a breather and lay down.

Nah, just kidding. She dropped those fuckers like the _bass_.

I couldn't help it. I laughed my _ass_ off. I laughed so hard, I fell back on my chair and broke it. It was a good thing Twilight had just made a royal ass of herself, or more ponies would have noticed my laughter and commotion. Perhaps those ponies getting their eardrums blasted out by an excited purple princess tended to cover up my mistakes.

Princess Caddyshack blinked at the sudden vocal assault and squinted her eyes, seeing Twilight after only a few moments. Her face grew into a large smile immediately and she took off, her wings carrying her at the speed of love across the room. Before I knew what was happening, she was standing over me, her hooves surrounding me on all sides. It was entirely a miracle that she didn't step on me with her sharp golden shoes.

Sarah was biting her lip, her eyes locked on me, even though I was still invisible. I did all I could to turn my head and stare away so that Sarah wouldn't whine about me looking at the pink pony ass hovering above me. It wasn't even that fat.

"Twilight!" Candy shouted happily, spreading her front legs and waiting for a hug. She started to lean back.

Wait. Was she going to-?

NO! FUCK FUCK FUCK DON'T SIT, YOU PINK _BITCH!_

"GET OFF!" I shouted, standing up and knocking the Princess of Facesitting off of me. The alicorn yipped and tumbled forward, landing right before Twilight's hooves. I guess Twilight had been ready to accept the hug right before Cavity had activated my trap card.

At least Sarah looked pleased. The thought of her wanting me to save my _sat-on-by-pony-ass_ card for her disturbed me a bit. Of all the ponies that could have almost sat on me, _of course_ it was the large one with no clothes. Why couldn't she have been wearing pants? I managed to avoid getting smothered, but that didn't mean that I avoided... _seeing_ it.

 _Yeeaaah_ , still not attracted to ponies.

"What in Tartarus was _that?!_ " Caddy yelled out, stumbling back to her hooves. My friends at the table were all staring at her with nervous expressions, not sure whether they should tell her or not. I hadn't exactly told them my plan. Hell, I didn't even know my own plan. It was pretty much just wait for a good time to reveal myself, then go with whatever happened. Was it a good time yet?

"Sorry," I said quickly, waiting to gauge her reaction. Just like the cream-colored mare in line, her ears immediately trained onto my location. It almost felt like a sniper's red dot had just trained itself to my chest. This mare was a bit _scary_.

"IT WAS I, PRINCESS LUNA," I heard Sarah shout out over me, drawing Candy's attention away from my location. "I, um...knocked you over on purpose. Just a joke."

What was Sarah doing? The pink alicorn looked over to the larger blue one, at first growing a smile of familiarity. As quick as the smile had appeared, it had vanished, replaced with a hostile scowl. The expression of loathing surprised everybody, especially Sarah and Twilight.

"What...what are _you_ doing here? Haven't you already done enough?" Dance spat bitterly. Okay, I was confused. She was giving Sarah almost the exact same expression that other ponies had been giving her behind her back. What the hell was up with them? Were the ponies in my fan club just occasionally super-douches? Sarah obviously shared my lack of comprehension.

"Excuse me? What are you talking about?" Pinkass just puffed her cheeks out and rolled her eyes.

"You know _exactly_ what you did. What, do you hate the show or something? Or are you just _happy_ that Ryan _died?_ " she growled. Her growl wasn't very intimidating, but the blue glow surrounding her horn was. Holy fuck, she was threatening Sarah. If she continued, I would have to step in and show her a thing or two. Sarah nearly choked on the air in her lungs at the accusation.

 **"EXCUSE US?! WHAT ART THOU IMPLYING?!"** Sarah shouted, her voice reverting back to a tone that I hadn't heard her use since...a couple _years_ ago. Wow, she was fucking _furious_. Caddy was shocked into silence by the sudden outburst, clearly not expecting the blue alicorn to react so violently. I still had no idea where the accusations were coming from. Maybe it was my job at that point to sort things out and cool them down so that they could talk.

"You...you..." Cadance tried to say. "The stars..."

A look of realization flashed across Sarah's face. A bunch of ponies in the room, since all attention was now direction at the confrontation, nodded along with the pink alicorn's point. Then it hit me as well.

_'Ryan is an asshole'_

Oh. _That_ was why. So, wait, could those ponies read _English?_ Because I was sure that Sarah had written that in English. Twilight did say something about there being dictionaries and fan guides to learning my written language...if people back in my world could learn languages from fictional races from _Star Trek_ , then it only made sense that some of my most obsessed fans would put in the effort to learn.

"That...that was _not_...Ryan, could you please?" Sarah asked weakly, very thoroughly embarrassed by the whole situation. Pretty much everything in the past five minutes had been just one giant misunderstanding. My friends all looked away, the tension in the air causing a great deal of stress to them all. Poor Fluttershy was hiding behind her autographed plushie, my stitched smile keeping her safe. Cadance blinked and tilted her head, obviously confused.

Welp, I guess it was time. Here goes nothing.

I focused all my energy into the thought of being visible once more. It took a few seconds, since I never had to imagine myself _not_ being invisible before, but I still regained my ability to reflect light. Cadance was looking in the opposite direction, so she couldn't see me at first. Behind me, I could hear a steady _'Thump, Thump...Thump'_ of ponies fainting one at a time.

Ahh, _memories._

The ponies who weren't fainting were instead gasping. My friends all tensed up, trying to ready themselves for whatever was going to happen in the following moments. Dash was lowered into a fighting stance, ready to take off from her cloud car at a moment's notice.

Anything could happen. I could get attacked; drowned in a sea of ponies. Maybe they wouldn't believe it was actually me, but instead some kind of impostor, bent on taking over the world. Or maybe they-

"Ryan...? Why did you say..." Cadance asked, almost in a whisper. Very slowly, she turned her pink head around, her long mane swishing from the airflow moving past it.

Our eyes met. Her face froze.

I half-expected her to faint, but she must have been made of sturdier stuff than most ponies. Instead, her eyes just widened and a golden-plated hoof lifted to cover her mouth. Twilight was slowly moving closer to her, though I wasn't sure what she was intending to do. Twilight obviously knew Cadance pretty well. I doubted they would get into a fight over _anything,_ even me. Finally, she spoke.

"What...what is...huh...?" she stuttered. I couldn't blame her. Well, time to lay on the ol' Ryan Burbank charm. Things were _way_ too tense in there for my liking. Perhaps a joke?

" _Hiiii_...uh, got a pen? I can sign something, if you-"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!" she squeaked into my face before lunging at me. Before I knew what was going on, I was immobilized by four strong pink legs, all circling around me and binding my limbs together. Holy fuck, she was _strong!_ How was she so strong with legs as thin as those?

"URGH. TIGHT. SQUEEZE. CAN'T. BREATHE," I pleaded with the overjoyed pink princess. She didn't seem to understand, but the sound of my voice ringing through her ears just made her squeeze me tighter. Sarah was getting ready to pounce, as was Dash. Pinkie just had a daft grin on her face, seemingly completely unaware of what was happening to my poor body.

 **"How did you manage to make one?!"** Cadance asked excitedly, turning her attention back to Twilight.

Uh, what? Make one?

"Uh, what? Make one? Make one what?" Twilight inquired, just as confused as I was. Cadance just giggled cutely, her pink mane bouncing around in my face and tickling her nose.

Uh-oh. Don't sneeze, don't sneeze, don't sneeze...

"You made a Ryan copy! Oh, they've been talking about making them for _years!_ How did you do it?" Cadance asked as she snuggled me, her pink fur rubbing up against my face. Twilight just fidgeted, unsure of how to explain to her friend that I wasn't just some clone.

DON'T SNEEZE.

"I, uh...well, _you see_ , Cadance...he...isn't a copy..." Twilight told her nervously, a sheepish grin on her face. The ponies in the crowd around us gasped again. At least, the ones who were still conscious did. A lot more ponies had fainted at the new information. Cadance just stared at Twilight in blatantly-apparent disbelief.

"What...what do you mean...?" she asked nervously.

"I...I _may_ have _accidentally_ pulled the memories out of the storyteller through the projection gem and, _uh_...shoved them into a construct of his body..." Twilight explained, her left front hoof scraping along the ground. The giant pink facehugger swallowed, her body starting to tremble. The trembling just made her mane tickle my nose faster.

SHIT. I have to... _Ahh...Ahh shit, nah...Ahhhhhh..._

"You mean this...he is...the _real_..." Cadance stuttered, her eyes widening at the implications of what Twilight was telling her. My friends just stared, helpless, unable to do much of anything to help the situation. Sarah was enjoying Cadance's discomfort, however.

Twilight just nodded. Cadance whipped her head around to face me, some strands of her mane shooting up my nose.

OH SHIT-

"YOU MEAN HE'S RE-"

"AAAA-FUCKIN'-CHOOOOOOOOOO!" I exploded through my nose for the second time. Instead of launching myself against a crystal wall, however, this time I sent the pink alicorn flying in a manner very similar to Time Warner. My body also was sent flying, but in the opposite direction.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh..." Cadance could be heard screaming.

...

_Crash_

She landed on the far side of the room, crushing a few tables full of candy. She was unhurt, though.

I, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. I had landed, uninjured...

_...right in the middle of the room._

I was surrounding on all sides by ponies of all shapes and colors. I was going to drown in a sea of wings, horns, hooves, fur, and cute. They were all staring at me, knowing what they wanted to do but unsure of if they should do it. The room was deathly silent, except for the thumping of my racing heart.

A twitch _here_.

A step forward _there_.

Their eyes were hungry. They wanted what I was, and what I was was Ryan fucking Burbank. I couldn't take the anticipation any longer. Best to get it over with, I reasoned to myself. Well, it was was nice knowing you, Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and every pony who was nice to me.

I love you, Sarah.

"Come and get me, you bastards!" I yelled, opening my arms into the universal symbol of _'come hug me, you bastards.'_ I closed my eyes as the thundering sound of hooves drew near. This is what my life had been building to. I had lived to 20, got sick and died, got pulled into a world of colorful talking ponies who already loved me, and now I was going to die _for real_ to make them happy again.

As the first furry body slammed into me, I knew that this was where I belonged.

Ponies are fucking awesome at hugging.

"RYAN!!!"

Ded.


	19. S2E2: Celebrity Revival

_Du-dump_

_Du-dump_

_Du-dump_

The train rattled along the tracks noisily, jostling its passengers every once in awhile when it hit a bump in the track. For a lot of the ponies riding the train that day, the motion was nothing new. They were used to it at this point, with many of the riders using the train to commute to work every day. Over the years, they became acclimated to the up and down motion, the initial nausea shrinking to nothing more than an annoying tingle.

For Lyra Heartstrings and her friend, Bon Bon, however, that luxury was not made available to them.

 _"Ugggh..."_ Lyra moaned, her face hidden between her forelegs. She had taken to laying down on the cloud-plush train seat, not being able to enjoy how comfortable it was, thanks to the bile that kept threatening to spew from her throat. Motion sickness was a long-time enemy of hers, and she was locked in an epic battle to keep her lunch down.

Bon Bon wasn't doing much better, but she was choosing to hide her sickness. Her eyes were shut tight as she meditated, forcing herself to work past the swaying motion of the train car she was trapped inside. She was just glad that she hadn't eaten before leaving, as Lyra had done. That would have surely doomed her to flooding the car with stomach acid and other assorted fluids.

Prime Warner, on the seat opposite them but in the same car, stared at the two mares with concern in his eyes. He was used to traveling by train, it being his primary mode of transportation. And since his job consisted of pretty much nothing _but_ traveling, he probably had the strongest gut out of any of the ponies riding that day.

"Are you two going to be okay?" he asked softly, part of his faded red mane hanging over his right eye. Lyra groaned pitifully in response, while Bon Bon just stayed silent and nodded. He watched them for a few more moments before sighing and returning his gaze to the window.

Prime loved watching the scenery fly by when traveling by train. The rapid movement and blur of colors got him to thinking about how long it would have taken to travel such a distance before the invention of such things as trains. Now, if only the scientists in Manehattan could perfect the automobile... _that_ would be amazing. Being able to travel around freely, without having to stick to somepony else's schedule was something Prime always envied the citizens of _OtherWorld_ for.

The city they were traveling to was pretty much the _OtherWorld_ capital of Equestria. Perhaps the fans weren't quite as nuts as the ones in Canterlot, but the inspiration that the show caused seemed to accumulate in Manehattan. Skyscrapers, human architecture, technology...if it was in the show, ponies in Manehattan wanted to recreate it.

That's why the city looked so new. Most everything, from buildings, to restaurants, to transportation, was made in the last four years.

" _Bleeeh_. How do you stomach this?" Prime heard Lyra ask. His ears flicked in her direction subconsciously, his mind already racing at the chance to tell some stories about his life prior to that moment. He gave the two mares a winning smile and took a breath.

"Been using these trains for years. That's how I get all over Equestria, looking for ponies to meet and new stories to tell. I'd say I've spent...hmm, probably about a _third_ of my life so far on a train," he explained to them, deriving some amusement from the horrified expression on Lyra's face. She went even greener at the thought of spending so much time on the rickety puke machine. Bon Bon made her first sound in awhile, which was a groan very similar to Lyra's previous one.

"But...how? I'm barely holding it in..." the minty mare whined. Prime just smiled and rubbed the back of his head with his hoof, messing his mane up even further.

" _Years_ of getting used to it. Don't feel _too_ bad, I puked my first few times...but I was pretty young back then..." he admitted. Lyra and Bon Bon looked over at him, their curiosity piqued once more. They hadn't learned all that much about his childhood, except for the parts that were relevant to the whole 'Time Warner Incident' back in Ponyville. They both wanted to ask, but privately felt like it might have brought up bad memories for him. The last thing they wanted to do was cause him any more grief, especially after the last few days. Plus, if his childhood was nothing but trauma and sad times, why bring it up? It was time for him to be happy; Lyra knew he deserved it.

"You, uh...what kind of stories do you look for?" Lyra asked, trying to move away from any topic that could potentially depress the shaken stallion. As soon as she asked those magic words, Prime's eyes came alive, sparkling with a force that could only be the result of a pony utilizing his or her special talent.

"All kinds! Usually, I find stories between families, like, local legends and stuff like that. Those are always the most _charming_ and _lovable_ , but don't usually translate well into gem shows. They're better for just telling to some friends, or maybe a group of foals. _Then_ there are stories that ponies think of all on their own, just like _OtherWorld_. _Those_ are usually wider in scope, more epic, and better for visualizing in a gem projection. Oh! I remember one story, back before I met you two, about a group of ponies that went into the Everfree Forest, doing a research project on the Mare Witch, but disappeared! That story was pretty fun to make, since I had to help with the projection. I got to make it as creepy as I wanted! It wasn't all that long though, it only took up a few episodes worth of time," he rambled, his horn glowing and projecting the mental image of a first-pony perspective, made to look like it was being shown through the eyes of one of the characters. True to his talent, Prime had started unwittingly telling a story, complete with audio and visual aid.

"I remember seeing that one! _The Mare Witch Project_ , right? That gave me nightmares for a week!" Lyra exulted, actually getting into the conversation. Prime's eyes twinkled even more, elation spreading through him at the thought of the creator of _OtherWorld_ actually being _scared_ of something he had helped create.

Bon Bon remained silent, watching in fascination as the ponies in the projection scrambled around inside of a tent while something from the outside tried getting in. The tent shook violently, scaring the ponies into running out into the darkness of the night without most of their equipment. Bon Bon could almost _hear_ the cackling noises the entity was making as it followed behind the unlucky trio of researchers. _This_ was the show that gave Lyra those nightmares? No _wonder_ she didn't sleep for that whole week!

"Yep! That's the one! That was the first show I've produced that was shown from first-pony, instead of third. Geez, I remember the riots...so many ponies thought it was _real_. They had never seen something like that before, so they thought we had taken the memories from a dead pony and showed them in the projection... _somehow_. I don't even think that's possible! They didn't leave us alone until I could get the storytellers to take a train to Manehattan to show everypony that they _were, in fact_ , still alive and well. Ugh, that was one Tartarus of a week..." Prime moaned, the projection from his horn fizzling out and cutting Bon Bon from her trance. It was only when she looked around inside the cabin did her stomach catch up with the fact that she had been watching something while the scenery behind the projection kept moving past. As a result, her face did its best to mimic the color of Lyra’s coat.

As Lyra tried her best to escape the splash zone, Prime turned back to the window, losing himself in his thoughts. His horn lit up again as the memories flashed before him, forcing him to relive the scene. The green mare, and to a lesser extent, her trainsick roommate, watched the scenes play out. This time, the first-pony perspective was from Prime's view, and not the view of a storyteller.

****

The scene was in a city, what the two mares assumed was Manehattan. It looked a lot less... _developed_ , to put it nicely. The memory must have been from years ago, before _OtherWorld_ came in and gave the city an architectural overhaul. The buildings were boring, small, and gray. It could still _technically_ be considered a city, but only because of the population. Back then, the city was full of ponies just going through the daily motions, without any desire to break themselves from the routines they had found themselves comfortable in. In the memory, however, the ponies standing outside the window Prime was looking out of looked _anything_ but content.

 _"Where are they?!"_ he could hear many of the protesters yell at him, waving their hooves in the air angrily. When the ponies had first shown up, he had had no idea what they were so bucking angry and scared about.

" _Destroy the Everfree!_ It's too _dangerous!_ " he heard another pony shout, as if they thought Prime Warner had any say over the removal of such a large plot of land. Despite his confusion, at least that pony had clued him in on what they were protesting.

_The Mare Witch Project_

His first movie using First-Pony Perspective, which he had worked so hard on with the other storytellers. It had been such a cool new process, with the other ponies acting as body performers, moving around and acting out the scene around him so that he could better portray the emotion and desperation of the situation. They were going for _realism_...which is why they had ventured out deep into the Everfree Forest, enlisting the help of a local Zebra to aid them in keeping the creatures away. Though she had expressed some concern over the sensationalization of the unusual happenings in the woodland area, Prime Warner had promised that it would be made very clear to the audience that the events taking place in the show were fictional.

In the projected memory, Prime cut back to the day of the riot. His past self resumed staring out of the window, a few strands of red handing down over his left eye. His gaze moved down, letting the two observing mares see how badly the younger stallion was shaking; he had never been protested before. He didn't know what he was supposed to do.

 _"Prime, it will be fine,"_ a familiar voice came from behind him. Lyra and Bon Bon froze, the owner of the voice making himself visible from Prime's peripheral vision.

The bright blue form of Time Warner stood there in a much more casual suit than he had been wearing during his episode in Ponyville. His eyes were looking straight into the projection's point of view, containing something that made Lyra choke: life. Time's eyes twinkled with brotherly concern, though his posture was tense; he looked ready to trade blows with the next thing to look at him wrong. His horn was glowing with that familiar golden hue that had threatened to end Prime's life only days earlier. The past-Prime looked up at his older brother for a moment before looking back down.

 _"But...they're so angry! Over my show! Did...did I do something wrong...?"_ the young stallion asked, the innocence in his voice pulling at Lyra's heartstrings. He sounded so scared; he had probably never been exposed to all that anger at that point in his life.

Except for his brother's.

 _"Brother, they're just stupid ponies. They think the actors from your show actually died. We just have to make them listen to the truth,"_ Time Warner spat as he gave the crowd a hostile glance through the window.

 _"And...what if they don't listen?"_ Prime muttered fearfully.

 _"Like I said, we'll_ make _them listen."_ As he said this, Time's horn glowed gold, forming into a ball of pure electricity. Prime backed up, shivering a bit harder as his brother, once again, regressed into his violent state.

"He just kept getting worse..." mumbled Prime through his trance. Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other, their feelings of concern towards the stallion growing. They knew that the problem was bad...but how long had it been _that_ bad for?

The memory in the projection shifted. Instead of being inside the office, the two brothers were standing directly in front of the irate crowd. The verbal accusations being thrown at the two were much more audible and threatening. The two mares watching actually flinched back, the sudden appearance of danger startling them. Time Warner was the first to speak.

 _"It seems something we have done has upset all of you. I assume this anger you are feeling is towards '_ The Mare Witch Project _'?"_ Time spoke, the only emotion evident in his voice being annoyance. Prime stood there, frozen in front of the mass of ponies, fearing what they thought of him.

 _"No buck! What kind of company are you running, showing ponies getting killed for real?!"_ one mare in the crowd yelled out. A bunch of the other protesters yelled their agreement. Time Warner just shook his head and sighed. The ponies saw his look of annoyance and narrowed their eyes, ready to shout back at whatever excuse Time happened to use.

 _"You're all a bunch of idiots,"_ was Time's retort. The world lurched back a few inches, showing that Prime had flinched. The crowd was too stunned to respond at first. That wasn't an excuse that they could just deny. That was just a simple insult! Half of the jaws in the audience started flapping like beached fish, trying to come up with a proper response to Time's show of disrespect.

 _"What is your problem?! Who the buck even are you?!"_ the original mare shouted again. It seemed she was the only one willing to speak out without the rest joining in. The queen of the hive. Time rolled his eyes.

 _"I'm the owner of Olivia Warner Productions, along with my brother. And you are?"_ he said, calmly but condescendingly. The mare let out a growl, but went to answer.

_"I'm Fruit Pu-"_

_"Never mind, I don’t actually care,"_ Time interrupted, stunning the mare into silence. _"Now, as for your unfounded concerns, the ponies shown in_ 'The Mare Witch Project' _are absolutely fine. No ponies or other creatures were harmed in the making of the show."_ The crowd bustled angrily, still reeling from the shock of being so blatantly told off.

 _"Liar! The ponies shown could not be found in the Royal Equestrian Citizen Records! Did you erase them to cover up their deaths?!"_ another pony shouted, this time a stallion. The Queen Bee from before was still staring at the ground, doing everything in her power not to rush Time Warner and tear his head off. Again, the businesspony responded with arrogance.

 _"They were_ actors _. The ponies depicted in the show used false names specifically for this purpose. The characters don't exist, nor have they ever existed. There, problem solved. Can you all stop littering the front of my building with your bodies, now?"_ he spat. His horn had been glowing more brightly and more as he spoke, matching his emotional state. Prime flinched again when he noticed this, knowing exactly what Time was willing to do to ponies that got in his way. A surge of protective bravery flashed through the younger unicorn and he stepped forward, placing himself between Time and the seething crowd.

 _"I-I can explain it, Time. Can...you go back to work? I'll handle this,"_ Prime stuttered, looking up at his brother. The protesters blinked and went silent, staring up at the scene taking place in front of them. Time Warner just shrugged and rolled his eyes. Without a verbal response, the older brother turned tail and flashed the crowd before walking back inside.

Once Time's bright blue tail had completely vanished behind the doors, a collective breath was released. Even Prime found himself trembling, flashes of memories from the other times his brother had gotten violent coursing through his mind. He didn't move at first; he was still too terrified to do anything.

After a few silent moments, the vision from the projection shook. Lyra and Bon Bon thought it was ending at first, but the scene swung around, Prime coming face to face the the Queen Bee. The two mares assumed from the previous context that her name was Fruit Punch. She was a light orange earth pony, with a dark pink mane to match. She gave off the feeling of tropical fruit, which fit her mango cutie mark perfectly. Fruit's hoof was rested softly on Prime's trembling shoulder, her eyes conveying some concern.

 _"Are you okay, sir?"_ she asked, the warmth in her voice causing the projection to steady out. She was calming Prime down, halting the poor unicorn's shaken nerves. For some reason, the scene grew slightly pinker as Prime stared into her eyes for longer than was probably necessary.

 _"Yeah...yeah, I'm okay. Thank you for your concern, ma'am,"_ he responded politely, drawing a smile from the orange mare.

 _"It's Fruit Punch, sir. What's your name?"_ she asked softly.

 _"Prime Warner. That was my brother,"_ the stallion answered, his composure building back up. The scene was now completely steady, allowing the two observing mares in the train car to see the surrounding details that they hadn't been able to see earlier. The ponies, some of them holding signs, were no longer shouting. They didn't even look angry.

They looked concerned.

 _"Your...you have to live with that pony?"_ Fruit Punch asked, acting as if she had just smelled the nastiest thing to have ever been conceived. The projection coming from Prime's horn shook a little, indicating that he was giggling under his breath, the relief having flowed through him like a cool trickle of water through an overheating component of machinery.

 _"He's...well, he's not usually like that. Just when he feels threatened,"_ past-Prime tried to reason. Fruit rolled her magenta eyes and smirked playfully.

 _"I'm pretty sure he's just a plothole,"_ she joked. The crowd behind her let out their own wave of chuckles. Prime was calmed down even more at the sound of content mirth coming from them. It was _so_ much better than the hostility he had been feeling before. Being around angry ponies...he felt so _useless_. He never knew what to do in those situations.

But if there was one thing he could do well, it was get ponies to side with him. Already, after seeing him stand up to his violent older brother for the sake of their safety, the crowd was ready and willing to listen to whatever he had to say. A nostalgic smile reached the present-Prime's face, betraying the tears that were streaming down his face.

Lyra and Bon Bon only just then noticed that he had been crying. The fact that he had remained silent and motionless had helped hide his overflowing emotions. It was obvious that he would be crying, though. He was reliving scenes with his brother, back when the problem was there, but not _quite_ as bad. Back then, he still had some faith in Time. Things could have still worked out, back then.

Things change over Time.

****

"What happened in the end?" Lyra piped up, drawing Prime from his deteriorating state and back into the train cabin with them. Bon Bon gave her best friend a thankful nod. The cream mare was more familiar with physical confrontation; emotional moments like this were still not within her usual comfort zone. She had the knowledge, but didn't usually go about delivering it in the best way. Prime sniffed and wiped his nose quickly before lifting his red eyes to meet Lyra's. A small smile reached his lips.

"Well...after the thing with Time, they all listened to me. I explained the situation to them, and they believed me without question. I even managed to get all of their contact information down, and promised to bring them in to meet the ponies who acted the film out for me," Prime explained. His mood lifted somewhat as the memories he was experiencing went away from the realm of depression.

"How did that go?" Bon Bon piped up from up on her seat.

"Great! They didn't understand that the actors weren't as they appeared in the show, but their voices were the same. I _might_ have, eh...used their voices so that I didn't have to come up with my own. Just easier that way, you know? It was... _a lot_ of fun, hanging out with the actors again. The other ponies had a blast, too. Fruit Punch and I even-" Prime started to say, but cut himself off as a dark blush formed in his cheeks. The interests of both mares in the car peaked.

"You even what?" Lyra prodded, moving uncomfortably close to the blushing stallion. He, in turn, averted his gaze and scrunched his muzzle, trying to do anything but give into the power of the mare stare. Bon Bon wasn't having it. Wherever he looked, she was there, giving him the cutest look of begging that she could. The only direction Prime could look was forward; straight into the pleading eyes of the cute minty unicorn before him. He decided to close his eyes, instead.

"You even _what?_ " Bon Bon echoed, moving against him and poking him in the side with her hoof. Prime, as ticklish as he was, immediately lost his will to stay still and started squirming violently, letting out pained guffaws. The two devious mares circled their prey, looking for open spots for them to poke. The stallion was not going to be escaping their interrogation.

"You even _whaaaat?_ " Lyra repeated, shoving her face in his. Prime's face was beginning to blend in with his red mane. He didn't have a way out, and he knew it. With a flustered sigh, he relented and spoke.

"W-we...we kissed..." he admitted, as if it was his life's darkest secret. Lyra and Bon Bon immediately stopped their attack. Lyra's face lit up as she mashed her cheeks together, making an adorable _'D'awww!'_ face. Bon Bon just looked disappointed.

"That's it? You _just_ kissed?" the cream-colored mare asked, rolling her eyes and letting out a huff. All of that work, poking and prodding for juicy information...and it was wasted on a kiss. Lyra gasped dramatically and grabbed her friend by the shoulders.

"What do you mean, ' _that's it_ '?! That's so _cute!_ " she shouted into Bon Bon's face, her face squishing together once again. Prime just sat there, blushing up a storm as the two mares in the car with him fought over whether or not his relationship with another pony was juicy enough.

"It was just a _kiss_ , Lyra. They don't mean all that much. I'm sure Prime's done much more than kissing in his travels, he's just being _shy_ with his love life. Isn't that right, _Oh Great Owner of OW?_ " Bonnie mocked. Prime flinched for a moment, her words having struck a sour note with him inside. He lowered his gaze to the ground and slowly shook his head, his frazzled red mane swishing from side to side.

"BONNIE!" Lyra scolded, scooting over to Prime to comfort him. Bon Bon sat in silence, her face flushing as she went over her own words and realized how hurtful they were. Prime gave Lyra a weak smile before clearing his throat.

"I haven't. I'm never in one place for too long, so I haven't really had the chance to... _you know_. Not that I haven't wanted to, but...it just seems like something that would _hurt_. Why get emotionally invested if they wouldn't be around me for much longer?" he reasoned. Lyra and Bon Bon both choked on the breaths they were holding. The conversation had steered into some _dangerous_ waters with those last words. Was that what happened? When their mother died, had both brothers...had they just _shut down?_

"Prime..." Lyra started, "I'm not saying that you're wrong. I know what it feels like, not wanting to get close to something out of fear of losing it...it's why I didn't want to move to Ponyville at first. Back in Canterlot, I had friends, and acquaintances, and a job, and...well, I was comfortable. _Too_ comfortable...I didn't see the living prices rising until I was already out on the streets. I had to move to Ponyville because it was the only place I could barely afford at the time. That's when I met Bonnie. She took me in, gave me breakfast, asked me if I came from a land down under, which I had to remind her I didn't. Canterlot was pretty high up, being on the side of a mountain and all-"

Lyra was interrupted by a jab to the side, courtesy of Bon Bon. The mint-colored storyteller gave a sheepish smile and continued.

"Heh, sorry, got off track. Anyway, I stayed with Bon Bon for awhile, but _refused_ to get to know her more than in a professional, ' _You're paying to stay with me_ ' kind of way. I was _so sure_ that I would have to move again, and the pain I felt during my move out of Canterlot would start all over again. So, one day, Bon Bon asked me about why I was acting so cold to her, and you know what I said? What did I say, Bonnie?"

"You said ' _I can't do it again_ '," Bon Bon replied.

" _Couldn't do it again_ ," Lyra echoed. The entire time Lyra was speaking, Prime watched and listened, silently taking in her every word. It seemed that not only was the stallion good at telling stories, but he was also very talented at listening. "That started this whole conversation about what I had gone through during the move, how depressed I had become, and how afraid I was of trying to find new friends. I didn't want to feel like I was just trying to replace my old friends, and...it just didn't seem worth it to try again. Why bother?" Lyra eyes began to mist as she recalled the strong emotions that she had experienced during those few months.

"I told her that it was always worth it," Bon Bon added, breaking most of the buildup that Lyra had been trying to form. The mint mare sighed and dug her face into her hoof.

"Yeah, _that_. _Ugh_ , there goes the climax to my story..." she lamented. Prime waited until she had finished speaking before asking the question that had started to burn at his insides.

"How is it always worth it, though?" he asked quietly.

"Prime, how many friends do you have?" Bon Bon responded, using her own question. Prime's face contorted at the sudden mental exercise. He then looked up, his lips moving as she tried to recall every friend that he had made. "And I don't just mean in Manehattan. How many friends do you have in _Equestria?_ Hay, how many in the _world?_ " The stallion's face had shrunk more and more at her line of questioning. He knew that he couldn't answer that question correctly. There were just _too many_.

"Uh... _a lot_..." he answered, his response being the most truthful he could have possibly given. "Too many to count."

"How many of those friends do you keep in contact with, even if you're no longer working with them?" Bon Bon asked, pressing more and more. Prime knew that she was leading up to something, but his mind was still too jumbled up with recent emotions to try figuring out what it was.

"Still _a lot_. Not all the time, but whenever I'm back in Manehattan, doing business. That's when I pick up all the letters I've gotten. I answer them while I'm on the move, dropping off my return letters as I go. Why?" he inquired. Bon Bon just grinned, while Lyra watched the conversation with interest.

"And how many of those friendships are ' _worth it?'_ " she finally asked. Prime didn't hesitate.

"Every single one," he answered, more confident than he had been that entire day. His forwardness surprised Bon Bon at first, but she then responded with a warm smile.

"There you go," she laughed. Prime tilted his head, still confused.

"Wait...wasn't this supposed to be about relationships? Those are different than friendships, aren't they?" he asked, sitting back on his rump to think. Bon Bon hesitated, but nodded anyway.

"They're different, but still very _similar_. I'm not saying that you should jump into a relationship just because you can, but...if the desire comes along, don't push it away. It's definitely something you would have to talk to her...or _him_...about before deciding on, but still. There will always be things that will make it all worth it in the end," she said. Prime just stared at the ground, shivering a little.

"I heard long-distance relationships don't usually work out..." he sighed.

"That's pretty true, a lot of the time. Maybe look for somepony to travel _with_ you?" she offered.

"Like _you two_ are?" Prime spoke without thinking. After a moment of awkward silence, he realized what he had accidentally implied and grew bright red once again. "N-not that I would-! Ugh... _words_ , how I hate you sometimes..." he groaned. Lyra giggled happily and snuggled up to his side, making him purr unintentionally from the warmth.

"So what happened to Fruit Punch after you two kiss[e](http://imgur.com/rnB1x6K.jpg)d?" Lyra asked, diving back into Prime's life story. Instead of blushing, now Prime looked troubled over something.

"She wanted to see me again, to talk about what I did...she loved the stories I told her. But...I had to leave the day after that, for business reasons...and, well, I haven't seen or heard from her since," Prime said softly, his posture slackening as if he was hearing those words for the first time. It _was_ probably the first time since it happened that he acknowledged it verbally.

"You haven't even sent her a letter? But...don't you do that with the _rest_ of your friends?" Lyra asked, her face twisting in confusion. She couldn't wrap her head around why Prime would send letters to everypony _but_ the one he could have possibly had a deeper connection with. Prime sighed and leaned back against the interior of the train, bumping his head intentionally.

"I...I probably _should_ have. But that was years ago, you know? She probably has a family now...it would most likely just creep her out if I just started talking to her again out of nowhere..." he said sadly.

"Who says you have to be in a relationship with her to be her friend?" Bon Bon piped up, causing the forlorn stallion to flinch once again.

"Hrm...nopony, I guess. I _would_ like to hear from her again..." Prime answered, his left hoof rubbing up and down on his other leg. He didn't know why he was having such a hard time. He knew so many ponies, befriended so many ponies...why was this one pony causing him to stutter?

It might have had something to do with his gut churning and telling him not to get invested in that way. Ever since the kiss, he had felt the need to break the connection; to stay away from that kind of emotional commitment. Now that he thought about it, he had just seemingly put the friendly mare into a part of his brain that he considered his _'read later'_ folder. Why was she so different from the others? She should have been on his list of close friends, but...that kiss just ruined it for him, in some way. He didn't want it to ruin it any longer.

Once he could pick his brain and remember where she lived, he would send her a letter. Maybe he would go and see her for the first time in...however many years it had been since that whole incident. It seemed like a _lifetime_.

Perhaps looking forward to seeing her again would distract him from the situation he was about to go through back at headquarters. Speaking of which-

"There it is!" Lyra shouted excitedly, jumping up onto the window and peering out at the shimmering city on the horizon. Bon Bon got up and walked over, her reaction much more subdued than her friend's. That didn't stop her from gasping once the city got close enough for her to make out more specific details. What had _happened_ to this city?

"Lyra, Bon Bon...welcome back to Manehattan, _OtherWorld_ capital of Equestria," Prime said proudly.

****

Princess Luna could do nothing but stare at the thrashing pile of Canterlot ponies that had converged on her Ryan. Everything had happened way too fast for her to have been able to stop it. One moment, she was biting her lip, trying to keep the pink menace from rubbing her flank all over poor Ryan's face, only to have him shoot up the next moment and bring about the chain of events that led to him launching Cadenza across the room and himself into the middle of the dancing ponies.

And then he was gone. Lost, the writhing bodies cutting him off from the world. He hadn't even tried to escape it...he just stood there, accepting his fate. He might have accepted it, but Luna surely did _not_.

"GET OFF OF HIM!" the large blue alicorn roared, her wings propelling her across the floor to the massive pony pile. Behind her, she left a table full of stunned friends, all of whom were too shocked to move. They couldn't believe what they had just seen. All of that careful waiting, with him even going invisible...

"R...Ryan..." Fluttershy mumbled, her eyes locked on where he had been standing before the ponies had attacked. The velocity at which they had thrown themselves at him, mixed with the heavy pony bodies coming at him from all directions...he was probably hurt! At that thought, the caretaker's mind set into motion and broke her from her frozen state.

Fluttershy leapt up from the table, leaving her bag behind. Her plushie was still secured safely in her mane. _That_ was something she refused to let go of. The others only saw a yellow and pink blur soaring towards where Luna was trying to pry ponies off of the poor human.

It wasn't working too well. As soon as the Lunar Princess managed to pull one pony from the pile, another would squirm deeper, trying to fill the gap and get closer to the center. Luna didn't like the idea of hurting her citizens, but they were pushing her closer and closer to that point.

"GET OFF!" she shouted again, this time in her Royal Canterlot Voice. The pile shook from the force, but it seemed that the ponies were using the bodies of other ponies to muffled her overpowering voice. The pile was very nearly soundproof. Luna was getting desperate, but a yellow body took position next to her.

"Excuse me," the new helper said. The voice was so familiar, but Princess Luna had never heard it sound so...forceful. It was the kind of voice that was usually very soft and reserved, but now, it was ringing with a sense of finality. The ponies in the pile before them turned to look at the new pony, only for their gazes to be captured in the twin teal pools of Fluttershy's stare.

"Get off of him. Please," she spoke slowly, so that every pony caught in her vision trap could hear her clearly. A collective gulp went through the ponies she was addressing, before they all got the hint and scrambled to get clear of the yellow mare's piercing gaze. Once they were out of the way, Fluttershy addressed the ponies that had been under them in the pile.

"Excuse me," she repeated. She did this, over and over, sending more and more Canterlot ponies running for their mothers. Princess Luna could only sit and stare as Fluttershy worked, her mouth agape. Not even her Royal Canterlot Voice could penetrate the crowd of hungry _OtherWorld_ fans...but somehow, this quiet little pegasus was sending them packing like she was spitting out the _Moobonic Plague_ or something similarly deadly.

While that had been going on, the rest of Fluttershy's friends had gotten themselves unfrozen enough to walk over to where Luna was sitting. They all sat down next to her, save for Rainbow Dash. The prismatic mare left her cloud at the table and rushed over to the pile, helping out Fluttershy by scooping up one pony at a time from the pile. It wasn't as efficient, since the ponies she lifted tried getting away from her and back into the pile, but it still helped somewhat.

Fluttershy was the only pony who could clear the pile quickly. The rest of the methods, save for blasting the pile into bits, would take ages to actually complete.

More and more fancily dressed ponies ran away from the pile, their tales between their legs. Whatever the yellow mare was doing with her eyes, it was scaring the ever-living daylights out of those ponies. How was she doing that?

Princess Luna would have to find out on a later date and see if maybe Fluttershy could teach her the _ways of The Stare_.

Finally, the last few ponies had retreated from the pile, joining the others against the wall of the Recreational Center. The ponies were trembling in apparent fear, still reeling from the fright of gazing into the dead lights of the Stare Master. Fluttershy might have felt bad about scaring them so, but her attention was drawn to a lone figure left on the floor, curled up and motionless.

It was Ryan.

He wasn't breathing.

"Ryan..." Luna whimpered, lowered a trembling hoof to her love. She prodded his body, but Ryan did not respond. Luna's shimmering teal eyes drifted over to where his face was, concealed under his hair and hood. Her eyes widened in horror as she spotted a glowing puddle of purple residue, presumably leaking from his nose or mouth.

"RYAN!" the rest of the ponies screamed. They all surrounded the poor man, tears starting to form in all their eyes as their hopes sank.

He wasn't moving.

He wasn't breathing.

He was leaking magic again.

Fluttershy, in a desperate attempt to see if he was okay, nudged him with her muzzle hard enough to roll him over onto his back. Instead of drawing the much-desired response from him, she instead revealed Ryan’s blank, dead-eyed stare to all and sundry. The warm brown eyes that normally gleamed with mirth were now cold and dim, with purple being their new color.

"N-no..." the yellow mare squeaked, her hoof covering her mouth in horror. It couldn't be. It just _couldn't!_ They _couldn't_ have come all this way, gone through everything they had, just for him to get killed _again_...by pony hugs. Hugs were supposed to be _good!_ They were supposed to share warmth and love between beings, to show compassion for those you care about!

In excess, it seemed hugs could be deadly. Just like water. In short amounts, water was necessary.

In large amounts, it was fatal.

Twilight stepped towards the limp form on the floor, her knees threatening to give out from underneath her. She couldn't believe it. Still, she waited for the bad dream to stop, for reality to come flooding back into her life. She needed things to make sense again.

It didn't come back. _This_ was reality. The cold lump on the floor, leaking her magic, _was_ reality.

She didn't say anything more than letting out a choked wail. Finally, the last few ponies joined her around Ryan. Pinkie's mane had fallen mostly flat, her misty blue eyes locked on the human in front of her.

It was happening _again_. The very same emotions she had suffered through just a few nights before, when she had seen Ryan fade away into the black abyss, were hitting her again. But they were _stronger_. Instead of her favorite human dying in a projection that she had assumed to be fake at the time, he was there _with her_. He was _physically_ there, and she still couldn't do anything to help him.

The only sound that dared break the silence, besides the strangled sobs of Ryan's friends, was the sudden flapping of wings as Rainbow darted away from the scene and back into her cloud. The others turned to look at her, but only caught sight of her rainbow-colored tail, sticking out of the cloud car she had decided to hide in. A faint muttering could be heard coming from her direction.

"Lalalala it's okay it's fine he's okay nothing's wrong lalalalaaaa..." she chanted, her frantic breathing signaling to the others that she was trying to escape the situation; to try for a few moments to pretend that nothing had just happened.

"You..." spoke Princess Luna softly and she lifted Ryan's body carefully from the floor, his head lolling backwards limply. It was so _disturbing_ for the group, seeing their usually-lively friend's body...so _empty._

They didn't want to think it.

Luna couldn't think it.

Ryan _couldn't_ be dead. Not again. Not for _real._

"YOU SCUM!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as her head whipped around towards the cowering ponies against the wall. Her eyes billowed with her furious blue flame. Her horn glowed a deep, malevolent blue as every way she could possibly end a pony flew through her mind. But before she could do so much as give one of them a fur wedgie, she felt a warmth across her chest.

An arm.

Wrapped around her.

"D...don't..." she heard a soft voice plead to her, the sound might as well having been a choir of angel-ponies to the distraught princess. She let out a sharp gasp, her horn and eyes instantly dying out. The ponies against the wall trembled, but they had also somehow heard the voice and immediately started moving closer. They took their time and stayed silent, trying not to anger the Lunar Goddess once again.

They weren't keen on finding out what the conditions on the moon were like.

Dash's ear flicked as the sound of the voice. Before anypony could blink, she was right next to Fluttershy and her other friends, looking withered but desperately hopeful. Her cloud was left spinning in circles from the force of her take-off.

The scene was so tense around them, that-

"MMMPH!" Ryan suddenly sputtered, his face puffing out. He shocked the ponies who had been looming around him, some of the nameless ponies fainting. Their unconscious bodies only added to the pile of ponies that the hospital was going to have to take in.

Princess Luna wanted to be relieved, but Ryan's reaction to coming back into the land of the living just pulled her straight back into her state of worry. "What's wrong, Ryan?! Why are you-"

Her words trailed off as she noticed the strange purple glow that was coming from her love's puffed out cheeks. It looked almost like he was going to be sick, except instead of green, he was...purple...oh, buck.

"HE'S GOING TO PUKE! OUT OF THE WAY!" the blue alicorn screamed, picking up her boyfriend in her magical aura and lifting him so that she could easily pull him behind her.

_Whoosh_

The unfortunate ones who hadn't had the foresight to move out of the alicorn's way were treated to a one-way ticket back down to the floor. Canterlot citizens of every color and shape were flung out of Luna's way, the blue princess flying faster than their minds could comprehend.

She needed to get outside. From what she had seen, Ryan's strange magical bodily functions were often explosive. She hadn't been there for the ones he had done prior to today, but from what she understood, they were all quite dangerous. When he burped, he sent himself and another pony flying through opposite walls of a house. When he sneezed, he was flung backwards and cracked crystal with his body. A second sneeze had sent Luna's rather annoying niece flying across the room and into a candy table.

What would happen when he threw up?

The only thing Luna was sure about was that she didn't want him doing it in a room full of ponies. If his upchucking turned out to be even deadlier than the rest, she wouldn't have been able to live with herself if she knew that she had let a bunch of clueless, not-so-innocent fans die horribly.

Ryan would probably also hate himself to the point of depression if he so much as hospitalized a pony.

At a speed only an alicorn could reach, Luna flew through the open doors, startling the newer door guards that had been sent to replace the ones that had been standing there before. They toppled to the side, their legs flopping over their heads as the Princess of the Night took to the air.

Higher and higher she flew, watching Ryan every few seconds to make sure that he was still holding on. His cheeks were still swelling, but he was barely holding the torrent of purple energy back. The pain on his face...it tore at Luna's heart. He was trying _so hard_ to get out of range of his friends the rest of the ponies in Canterlot.

He knew he was dangerous. Which pissed Princess Luna off even _more_ , seeing how often he intentionally threw himself into bad situations. She wanted to be mad, she wanted to scold him...but the time was not right for that. It was time for him to let loose the painful stream of purple magic that had been lighting up his cheeks like two violet lamps.

They were high enough in the sky now, where as long as he aimed away from the town, nobody would be hurt. In the back of Luna's mind, a fear was tingling at her that told her that it would be very possible that he would just explode and take her with him. This had been the first sign of his condition worsening that she had seen since the link had been severed, so she didn't know just what kind of state he was stuck in.

Sure, he was a lot more stable, _most_ of the time...but what happened when he suffered enough trauma to become unstable, after the link's separation?

Luna knew that she couldn't worry about her own safety at the time. Her duty was to her kingdom and her Ryan. With a gulp of repressed nervousness, she shouted out into the sky.

"NOW!" she screamed, her voice reaching the struggling form wrapped in her magic. His reaction was instantaneous.

He was firing his-

"BLAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" he let out, aiming in a direction away from his love and away from any source of ponies. Out of his mouth, previously held back by his sealed lips, came forth a ray of pure energy, blasting out into the sky and away from civilization. Princess Luna could only watch with her mouth gaping open as he continued firing for well over a minute, his laser illuminating her features in its brilliant violet glow. Her mind couldn't even begin trying to comprehend what had happened to the poor human to make him fire off like he was. He didn't even know how to control magic, but here he was, producing a burst of magical energy that was likely several times larger than she herself could fire without charging it for hours beforehand. By the time he was finished, the beginning of his magical torrent was likely invading space.

Luna was just glad that he had aimed away from her moon.

As the last bit of glow from the laser faded from sight, Ryan slumped in her magic, thoroughly exhausted. Luna couldn't help the immediate interrogation that flew from her lips.

"What the hell was _that?!_ " she demanded, moving her love closer to her body. The Princess might have been confused and scared, but she still wanted him in her arms; she had just went through almost losing him again. She _needed_ to feel his body against hers, regardless of how volatile he could possibly be. Ryan took a few minutes to catch his breath and steady himself before trying to answer.

"Don't...know..." he stuttered, still pulling in as much air as he could. "Ponies...hugs...then, magic...started flowing into me...passed out...it was t-too warm...then...laser..." Luna watched his face intently as he spoke, trying to make sense out of his broken sentence structures. From what she could barely gather, the hugs from so many ponies at once had then...sent magic flowing into him?

That was certainly odd to picture, but no more so than anything _else_ that had happened in the past week.

So...when his body, his construct, filled up with too much magic, he passed out and went into a sort of stasis. At least, that's what Luna assumed. Then, after something woke him up, his body immediately went about trying to expel the excess magic so that he could stabilize. Apparently, it did that by making him throw it up in ray...or beam...form. Out of all the previous reactions his body had had, that one was certainly the most _destructive_. Luna shuddered to imagine what could have happened had she not gotten him away from Canterlot when she had. How many ponies would have been blown away? She shelved those disturbing thoughts for later.

What could she learn from this event? Well, she had noticed how his magical outbursts tended to come forth from his mouth or nose, and to a lesser extent, his hands. The mouth or nose explosions happened when he had to let off steam, but they seemed to be the most powerful release points. Were those spots his equivalent of a unicorn's horn?

"Sarah..." Ryan whined, his eyes locked downwards. Luna shook herself from her studying of the situation and looked to the man trapped in her magic. He was staring down into the open sky below them, his body starting to tremble slightly. Luna tilted her head.

"What? I didn't know you were afraid of heights," she said coyly. Ryan gave her a pleading look.

"I _wasn't_...until I jumped a mile into the sky and almost atomized Pinkie Pie on the way down..." he said, shivering at the memory. Luna nodded at his explanation and moved him above her slightly. With a twitch and a fizzling of magic, Ryan was plopped down onto the blue alicorn's back, his legs clenching around her tightly enough so that he wouldn't slide off.

"What...?" he questioned weakly. Luna just gave him a loving look before spreading her wings out and descending slowly back down.

"I always wanted to fly with you..."

Ryan blinked and looked at her, his confusion fading away as a warmer, more confident feeling spread through him. He returned her smile and nodded, though he still leaned forward and clung to her as if she was the only thing keeping him from plummeting to the sharp ground below.

It didn't help his mind any that she _was_.

Luna, still swimming in the tingly feeling of having her Ryan finally riding her like she always wanted, took the trip back down the ground slow; she didn't want to freak out her boyfriend. If he was afraid of heights, now, then she wouldn't tease him with it. With as much trauma as he had been going through as of late, the _last_ thing he needed was the closest link he had to his world using his fears against him.

That didn't mean she wasn't going to give him the business later on about his decision-making, though.

Her attention was captured by Ryan as he ran his fingers through the fur on her neck. She let out a content horse noise and tried to focus on maintaining her flight path. It was just a good thing that she needed her wings in the position they were in, or it could have gotten _a lot_ more awkward.

Luna noticed that his movements were becoming more frantic, like he was looking for something lost in her neck-fur. She turned her head to see him, confused when she saw that he looked horrified about something.

"Ryan?" she asked softly, not wanted to startle him. He felt her neck a bit more before his eyes shut tightly and he slumped over into a defeated position.

"Goddamn it, Sarah..." he groaned, weakly hanging onto her again. He gave off the aura of a tired, disappointed man that had just gone through some life-changing traumatic event.

Princess Luna didn't know what to think. Was something about her fur disturbing him? He had felt her true form before, she was sure of it. Why was it just now bothering him? Hay, Luna _remembered_ having him feel her, the most recent time being the time when they were sleeping on the train, when she turned into-

 _"Oh..."_ she muttered to herself as her face blushed bright red.

Bad ancient alicorn princess. _Bad._

_No._

[Season 2 credits song](https://youtu.be/cO5BOR_P2UA)


	20. S2E3: Uncomfortable

"Welcome to the-! Oh, morning, Ryan."

"Morning, Willy," I responded with a mirthful grin. The guy manning the cash register narrowed his eyes at me, daring me to continue with my current path.

"It's either _'William'_ or _'Billy.'_ Maybe _'Bill.'_ But when you call me _'Willy,'_ it just sounds like you're calling me a dick," he said, his voice low and hostile. It was so friggin easy to get this guy into a twist, so of course I called him Willy every time we worked together. Hell, I'd probably stop if he stopped reacting so nicely, but he just _never_ got the hint. It was almost a routine, at this point.

"Sorry, _Dick_ ," I answered as I walked by him, towards the back room. A bottle of water jostled in my grip, with my other hand shoved deep into my pocket and fondling my phone. Billy let out a grunt of fury, but I was already too far away for him to be able to retaliate. My finger finally found the little button I was looking for it and forced it into the other position. With a _click_ and a _bzz_ , I silenced my phone for the day.

The back room was the same as it always was, with tons of shoes lining the twelve-foot shelves. Some empty boxes were left around, still needing to be put away after the last shipment. No matter how many times I've been through shipment, I still always end up being the one who had to clean up everybody's messes...oh, well. Still liked the job. The people were usually nice and I got along well with the other workers, most of the time. Oh, and the commission was pretty good for how relaxed and easy the job really was.

I stored my phone, wallet and water in the back before returning up front to clock in. Looking around me, I could see that things were fairly calm, with only a few customers browsing the store shelves. Looked like it was just Billy and I tod-

_Thump_

A small surge of pain shot through me as I was, once again, blindsided by Rebecca. Another day, another punch in the back. I never really knew why she loved hitting me so much, but it was oddly adorable. If I didn't have such a weakness for smaller girls, or if she was stronger, I would have put a stop to it _long_ ago. As it was, I was just her daily punching bag. Maybe she did it because I never seemed to mind?

"Heya, Becca," I greeted the small girl staring up at me. She didn't respond, at least not verbally. Her bright grey eyes remained locked with mine for a few more awkward moments before she nodded and looked away. For as long as I had been working with her, I still didn't really know what her voice sounded like. Sure, I'd heard it a few times, but I couldn't narrate anything in her voice in my head, if that makes any sense. She was strange...why work retail if you didn't like talking? That was like working a desk job while being allergic to paper.

When I started away, I noticed that Rebecca was trying to stealthily follow behind me, as she always did. I sighed and tried ignoring her; I wondered if she did that because she liked me, or was just being adorably creepy. Most of the time, it felt like the later. My eyes locked with Bill's, and he gave me a _'This shit again?'_ look. I responded with a roll of my eyes and a shrug. Couldn't really stop her without her hitting me even harder. As light as her hardest punches were, she often chose to hit the same spot multiple times.

Rebecca, Queen of Bruises.

But seriously, her treatment of my body was getting on my manager's nerves. It was a good thing she was out today, or she might have lost her shit at Rebecca again. It had only been, what, a week since then? That was the strangest thing I had ever seen; an argument between two people, in which one didn't say anything. Somehow, Rebecca found ways of getting her point across without vocal assistance.

She was the store's little magician.

Doing my best to ignore my cute little stalker, I went up to the register and quickly punched in while Bill was chatting it up with a girl he had just sold some shoes to. _Ah-ha_ , hanging out with younger girls in spandex, I see! I love you, Willy, but you can't be doing that, _come on!_ Well, it wasn't that he couldn't, it was more like he was goddamn _terrible_ at it. I could see the jitters starting already, and he was still rambling on about the weather. The girl just looked at him, probably trying to tell if he was serious or not. I stealthily moved the box of pepper spray that we had for sale away from the girl, in case she got any ideas on how to defend herself from the Willy assault.

Oop, there went the sports. _Men: Masters of Small Talk_. Except when trying to talk to a potential partner. In which case, a good portion of us became stuttering messes. Well, until we get older and stop caring about how we look.

" _Oookay,_ then. Thanks for the shoes _aaaaand_ have a good one!" the girl said nervously, fast-walking out of the store with her shoes in hand. In her haste to get away from Bill's _'charms'_ , she had even forgotten her receipt. Bill stared down at the slip of paper, contemplating the train wreck of a conversation that he just spewed forth from his lips.

"That was _amazing_ , man. Seriously, I'm blushing over here. Look at my cheeks, they're friggin' glowing!" I teased, wrapping my arm around the shoulders of the smaller, forlorn guy next to me. Bill shivered and looked up, glancing at my cheeks, which we red from the effort it took not to burst out laughing.

"Dude, fuck you," he mumbled, quietly enough that I was the only one who could hear it. I was sure he wanted to say much more, much louder, but he was on the clock. An explicit employee didn't look too good in the eyes of the owners. Of course, that just made messing with him all the more fun.

"Hmm...nah, sorry. Maybe if you used make-up once in awhile, I'd consider it," I chuckled. Bill just rolled his eyes and went back to work, trying to tune me out of his life. A tiny blur flew by me and ran right up to the spot behind Bill.

_Thump_

"Ow! What the hell, Rebecca?!" Billy shouted in surprise, clutching the spot on his back where she had smacked him. I'm sure it didn't hurt him, but it sure as hell scared him. So what, was Becca like my little attack dog or something? Anybody messes with me, and she was there to deliver swift and immediate justice upon their lower spine.

Just like _another_ little girl I knew.

I felt a little hand place itself firmly on my arm as Bill tried rubbing away the pain she had inflicted upon him. My eyebrow lifted at the little girl that was touching me, her eyes locked in a glare upon the man who dared say something mean to me. Huh...was she claiming me or something?

"Becca, do that again and I'll _report_ it!" Bill growled once he stopped feeling the throb of impact. Rebecca flinched and quickly moved behind me, placing my body between her and the raging man at the register. Cash Ragister. Ha.

With a roll of my eyes and a crack of my knuckles, I moved back out of the checkout area, pushing Rebecca out with my body. I had only been working for about a minute and _already_ I had to deal with those two fighting. How the hell was Becca still working here? Oh well, maybe the rest of the day would look calm by comparison.

"Welcome to _theeee..._ " I heard Billy start, his programmed greeting fading away. That was odd, he usually said his line like a good little robot. What was standing in the door that would cause him to go all stupid like that? A familiar tingle of paranoia invaded my senses as I turned around, bringing my mind right back to where I had landed on the ground after I almost got flattened by a van a few weeks ago.

My breath caught in my throat as I saw her standing there in the open doorway, in all her unnatural glory. She wasn't wearing the same clothes, but...they were still as senseless as before. She was wearing a thin yellow shirt that was now too small, and...no...bra...

 _Well_ , at _least_ she had a coat to cover the parts of her that were being squeezed together by her shirt! A red rain coat to be precise, a red rain coat that was _waaaay_ too big on her. _That's_ the little alien I know, wearing clothes she could live in like a tent. Her hair was a bit longer, but it was kinda hard to tell with how damn messy it was. Had she ever heard of a brush before?

She was wearing pants, which for some reason surprised me. What didn't surprise me was that they were torn to shreds at the bottoms. Had she bought them that way? I swear, recent fashion must have left me in the dust or something. Was I already getting old enough to start spouting those _'in my day-!'_ lines? Oh god...

Her shoes were...where were her shoes? I remember that she had some when I saved her ass from that soccer mom, but now her feet were bare. Bare and bloody, from the reddened section at the bottom that was barely visible from where she was standing.

All three of us were staring, with Rebecca moving slightly to the side of me to get a better view at the paradox standing in the doorway. I guess I wasn't the best window. Once Becca got sight of the similarly-sized girl staring back at her, she moved back behind me and...friggin _hissed_. Damn, Rebecca is weird as shit.

As we watched, the girl slowly walked into the store, one pained footstep at a time. Her gaze locked onto me and she flinched, her eyes widening for some reason. They stayed on me as she walked to one end of the store, before she ducked out a sight. What the hell- oh, she _better_ not be trying to steal some fucking shoes. I saved her shit, and she comes to my place of work to rob it? Hope not...

Bill turned to me and gave me a look of absolute confusion. It seemed he didn't know how to process what he had seen, even though we had all seen it. Perhaps he didn't believe it? Rebecca shuffled around me, keeping me between the new girl and herself the entire time. Whoa, something that even Becca was afraid of? Well, crap in my pants and call me a sinner. Something was up with the traffic-humping alien.

I gave Bill a nod, but he was still too lost in his own stupor to respond. Once I had pried Rebecca away from behind me, I set her off to do her own thing and made my way towards the girl. I didn't want her thinking I was spying on her, but...well, she _was_ acting a bit suspicious. Most of the time, before someone tried to steal something, they would glare at us from over shelves to see if we were watching. A quick flash of movement told me that she was indeed catching glances at me. When she saw me looking back, and much closer than before, she made a little squeak sound and shuffled out of sight.

"Weird," I heard a small voice say from behind me. For the slightest of moments, I startled at the thought of the girl somehow materializing behind me, after I had just seen her on the other side of the shelf. That would have taken...well, teleportation. No living creature could be _that_ fast. Turning myself around when my heart had started again, I found that it was actually the more familiar of the little girls in the store.

Huh, so _that's_ what Becca sounded like. Very small and meek, but firm at the same time. It gave me the feeling that a more commanding voice was hiding inside, but the girl's small form kept it from coming out. Being held back was just making the deeper voice angrier and more determined to find a way to the outside.

I stared down at Becca, waiting for her to say more. She gave me one last look before turning around and going to work on cleaning up a different isle. Look who was calling who 'weird.' Now, where was the girl I was supposed to be watching?

I spun around and came face to face with the girl. My heart nearly stopped once more as I backed up, trying to regain my personal bubble that had been breached.

_Too close, too close!_

The girl also squeaked, as if she didn't expect me to see her standing _right the fuck there_. She moved away, looking around like she was trying to find somewhere to hide herself. Finding nothing but shoes, she just stood stock still and stared into my eyes. Holy...her _eyes_. I forgot they were so pretty. Had I noticed before? My memory wasn't the best, usually only keeping track of larger details, but damn...I loved teal. How did she get her eyes to be such a bright teal? Maybe she had some of those contacts. That idea seemed a bit weird to me, seeing as she could barely dress herself. How would she know where to get those contacts?

"Uh...hello. Glad to see you're okay. Can I help you find anything?" I managed to say, trying my best to ignore how the girl was cowering in front of me. I... _really_ didn't like it when people were afraid of me. Had that tackle made her think I was trying to hurt her? I hoped she knew I was just trying to save her...

The girl blinked at my words, her expression of caution becoming one of just plain confusion. I took a step back, allowing her some more space to regain herself, before clasping my hands together in front of me so that she could see them. My motions seemed to work, as she visible relaxed, letting her shoulders slump a bit.

"N-no...we are doing... _well_..." she spoke softly, looking down at my legs, or somewhere down there. Wait, 'we'?

"Oh, is there someone else with you?" I asked, looking around to the front of the store. Huh, only thing I could see was Bill, still being stupid or something at the register. Becca was glaring at me from the other side of the store, her head just barely visible from over one of the half-shelves. So, nothing different there.

When I looked back at the girl, I noticed she was a bit closer. She no longer looked confused...well, she _did_ , but not in a nervous way. She looked more _curious_ , now. I swallowed a bit of the stale saliva that had been building up under my tongue and looked down at the weirdness in front of me.

"No, we are alone," she replied, her eyes looking me up and down. Oh shit. I chewed my lip nervously, taking a slight step back from her probing gaze.

"Uhm...I need an adult..." I said before I could stop myself. If I had to rate how well that joke fit the moment, I'd only give it four stars. She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. Too. Cute.

"We... _are_ an adult," she replied blandly, her face telling me that she now thought I was stupid. Wait, she got the reference!

"Cool, you've seen those videos, too?" I asked, giving her an excited smile. Her reaction was to give me an even stranger look. Okay, so she had no idea what I was talking about, and just happened to repeat the line. I should have seen that sooner; she didn't even get the line completely right. Who was the second person in the 'we' that she kept using?

"Nay," she said, her expression returning to curious. She took another step closer, her eyes wandering around my body as if it was the next marvel of science. What the hell was so interesting about me?

"Uh...are your feet okay? They look kind of, uhm... _cut up_ ," I asked, genuinely concerned for her. Walking around with open cuts on your feet was a good way of getting infections. She blinked and looked down at the red marks just visible from where we were standing. Leaning against a shelf so that she didn't fall over, the girl slowly picked her one leg up and bent it so that-

Oh _shit_. Those were some _deep_ cuts. To hell with infections, she needed a damn _hospital_ if she wanted those feet any longer than a few days. She must have seen my eyes widen, because she quickly lowered her foot away from my sight. I didn't ignore the pained expression she had as her foot made contact with the ground.

"They are...fine...we are just in need of some... _some..._ " she stuttered, gesturing towards the hundreds of boxes that lined the shelf next to her. Did she not even know what shoes were? What happened to the ones she had been wearing?

"S-sure...but...your feet _really_ need some medical attention, Miss," I said as politely as I could. The last time I tried telling a customer something relating to their health, I got an earful from them about minding my own business. With this girl, it wasn't so black and white. If I had just minded my own business a few weeks ago, she's likely be dead. In a way, I felt responsible for this girl, now.

With a small smirk, she lifted her foot to show me-

Nothing. No cuts.

How.

In.

The.

_FUCK?!_

I just saw them! Just seconds ago, there were cuts! How would she be able to hide the gashes without moving or healing or... _anything?!_ She must have been waiting for my reaction, because she started laughing at my stunned expression. I instinctively backed away from the alien female, my eyes locked on her and waiting to see if she would attack. In the back of my mind, I knew she wouldn't, but my mind was filled with too many random, scared thoughts to be able to function normally. She had just broken me.

"How...b-but...I..." came drooling from my lips. What else was I supposed to say? Was this little alien girl magic or some shit? She took another step closer, bringing forth the tingling feeling once more. I had been feeling it the whole time, but now, with her so close, it was hard to ignore.

"You are... _different_ ," she said calmly, her perfect foot placing itself a step closer. A hissing sound could be heard in the next isle over, signaling that Rebecca was close and probably trying to protect her territory. I ignored it and stared at the girl in front of me.

"Me? Different? And all this time, I thought I was just another clone..." I groaned sarcastically, my humorous side fighting to take control of my actions. It was my classic coping mechanism, but it had been sadly absent since the girl walked into the store. She seemed to have the same effect on Billy, who was _still_ acting like a beached fish up at the register. A line of customers had developed, the first few poking the comatose man to see if he was even still alive. The hissing sound retreated until I could no longer hear it. At the same time, Rebecca appeared at the counter and did... _something_ that caused Billy to yelp and jump back.

Heh.

"Hmhmhm..." the girl in front of me giggled. That was the single cutest giggle I'd ever heard. I _may_ or _may not_ have adopted a dopey grin from hearing that angelic chuckle. She noticed my stupid face and stopped giggling, choosing instead to watch me with interest. I held the expression for a few more... _minutes_...before snapping back to reality.

"So, uh...heh, want to try on some shoes?" I asked her warmly, wiping the impossible regeneration from my mind and going back into salesperson mode. She tilted her head again, a few bunches of messy, dirty blonde hair falling down in front of her one eye. She was seriously trying to give me a damn heart attack.

"Shoes...uhm...yes. That sounds reasonable," she said, turning to look at the shelves next to us. Many stacks of sandals stared the girl in the face as she took in exactly what the store was here to sell. Why did she talk so weird?

...I'd answer that as soon as I figure out how she healed her foot so fast.

"So, what kind were you looking to get? I'd usually recommend something to go along with your outfit, but, eh..." I trailed off, trying to hint that I had no idea what she was going for with her clothing. And looking just drew my eyes to the tight shirt squeezing her chest again. A quick spin towards the shelf, and my blushing face was hidden from her. Was I a pervert? Come on, they were squeezing together right in front of my face! There was nothing I could do...

"Hmm. Why...why don't you _assist_ us in deciding?" she answered in her oddly formal way. I smirked at her and crossed my arms.

"Thought I was doing that already~" I sang, my grin widening. The girl gave an adorable pout and looked down. We went without saying anything else for upwards of a minute. By that point, I was seriously afraid I had offended her or something. Before I could attempt to apologize, she spoke up.

"Why did you assault us those few weeks ago?" she asked, looking at the shelf instead of me. I blinked in surprise and immediately objected to her view on what had happened.

"I didn't! I pushed you out of the way of that van! If I hadn't, you could have died," I explained, a pang of indignation shooting through me. She thought I had attacked her? But...I had _saved_ her...

"W-what? How...how do you know this?" she asked, her eyes widening and her chest expanding as she took a gulp of air. The tight shirt wasn't helping her at all.

"You were _kinda_ standing in the middle of the road. A van almost hit you, I moved you," I explained further. While I spoke, she stared at me in utter disbelief, trying to take it the fact that she could have ended up as a road pizza.

"You...so that's...were you harmed?" she managed to ask, her eyes moving back up to me with a new gloss to them; she was tearing up. No no no no no no no, no crying! I lifted my hands and moved around a little, showing her that I was fine.

"I'm good! Just a little road burn on my arm is all," I assured her. She responded by moving to me before I could stop her and grabbing my arm. I might have tugged away from such an aggressive act, but something about her...it kept me standing there. She said I was different, and I was feeling the same way about her. That tingle...it was like a tickle that only went away just then when she made contact with me.

She examined my left arm all around until she saw the red section on my elbow that I had only recently uncovered. Burns tended to leak, so I had been wearing a large bandage up until a few days ago. Her eyes turned sad as she glared at the wound I had received while saving her ass.

"W-we...we apologize for causing your pain..." she mumbled sadly, her eyes looking down to the floor in apparent guilt. She was about to cry again, I could feel it! I quickly moved my arm away from her line of vision and smiled warmly at her.

"Hey, hey. It was either you being _dead_...or a burn on my arm. Easiest life or death choice I've had to make since...the _last_ time I pushed someone out of the way of a car," I said happily, trying to cheer her up with my demeanor. She looked up slowly into my eyes, giving me the shivers once again. Holy crap, those _eyes!_

"We suppose that is true... _thank you_ , brave gentlecolt," she said, her mood lifting visibly. "And how many times have you had to shove others out of the way of harm?" I tilted my head at the use of that _'gentlecolt'_ word. Before it could bother me any, I just shoved it into the _'deal with later'_ box in my mind, right next to her use of the word _'we.'_

"First time~" I chuckled playfully, pretending to browse the shelves for something she could try on. She blinked at me before crossing her arms.

"You seem to have an affinity for teasing," the girl said up at me with a knowing smirk.

"I don't know what you're talking about, _Princess_ ," I joked, poking fun at her overly-fancy manner of speaking. Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she stumbled back a few steps. It was like I had just revealed to a spy that I knew their secret, or something. I didn't know what to make of it, so I just stared at her blankly.

"Y-you...how?!" she demanded. The only response she got from me was a shrug and a lifted eyebrow.

"How _what?_ " I asked innocently. I really didn't have any idea what was going on, so it wasn't difficult to look into her eyes. Her suspicious expression softened after a few moments of staring at me.

"Nothing...it was nothing..." she mumbled, before turning back to the shelf and staring at it. I could tell from the lack of movement in her eyes that she wasn't taking in a single possible footwear option. Her slumped shoulders gave me the impression that giving her a moment would be a good idea. I took a step back and shoved my hands into my khaki pockets, my mind taking its first rest in awhile. It had quite a _load_ of things to process once this interaction was over with.

Before I could start playing over the events from the past ten minutes or so, I was assaulted by a small body forcefully grabbing a hold of mine. For a second, I thought she was attacking me. My fears quickly faded away once my body started tingling warmly, the gloriously amazing signs of a hug.

She was hugging me.

She was warm.

She was tiny.

Her chest was pressing up against my stomach. I could feel both of her breasts, the individual sensations making me shiver with discomfort. Why was she doing this to me?! I save her life, and she boob-tackles my stomach! How _dare_ she not wait for me to crouch down before doing that!

"Thank you..." she whispered into my chest. A bright blush gathered in my cheeks, my entire body heating up. Oh, it was like she knew my exact weaknesses...well, except for the tongue thing. If she knew about that, I doubt I'd be single for much longer that it would take her to say _'Ahh.'_ It took all of my willpower to drag my mind out of the gutter and back into reality, with the small, adorable girl and her breasts pressed against me.

 _Abort, abort!_ Reality is just as perverted!

"It's fine, really. I'm just glad you're okay," I replied honestly, my face still warm and red. She looked up at me, a blush of her own written across her features. She sniffed a little bit and smiled, her own happiness only boosting my own. "I'm Ryan, by the way. Ryan 'Balls' Burbank."

"Balls?" she asked curiously, her nose scrunching cutely. _Awwww~_

"It's so that I remember which gender I identify as," I explained, my tone disarmingly serious. She blinked a moment before rolling her eyes and sighing.

"Stallions," she mumbled under her breath. I didn't think she meant for me to hear that. What, was she one of those horse girls? She was like the nerd of horse girls, if that was the case. Awesome.

"So, got a name I can call you buy, besides _'the girl?'_ " I asked. For a second, she looked panicked. Her eyes darted around the shelves for something, before settling on a box of _Sarah Belle_ slippers.

"Sarah! My name is Sarah..." she claimed violently, like she was just hearing it for the first time herself. From what I could tell, she _was_. Oh, well, if she doesn't want me to know her real name, then that was her decision. All she was to me was a girl I saved from traffic, so it wasn't like I was entitled to know.

"Hey, Sarah, nice to meet you. If only this was our _first_ meeting," I laughed, subconsciously rubbing the burn on my arm. She smiled sheepishly and rubbed her own arm along with me.

"Sorry, again," she said quickly. I waved her apology off and actually looked at the shelf for the first time since starting our conversation.

"And _again,_ it's cool. Let's find you something to wear on your feet so that they don't get all cut to shit again," I told her. In the background, I could hear a depressed hiss and what sounded like a small girl audibly slumping her shoulders.

_Disappointed Rebecca noises._

****

The flight back down to Canterlot was one of the moments that you want to be over, but at the same time, you're afraid of what would happen next. On the outside, I probably looked calm and collected, but on the inside, I was at war with myself. With every one of Sarah's soft hairs that touched me, a flash of that dream came back to me and sent me spiraling back into confusion.

She had blinded me in the dream.

She had turned back into an alicorn when I couldn't see her and... _played_ with me.

Why did it matter to me, though? It was Sarah, and I know it was Sarah, regardless of what body she was in. I wanted to so badly to convince myself that it was okay, what she did. I loved her more than anything, and trusted her not to hurt me.

But maybe that was why it hurt...I _trust_ her. But...I told her that I wasn't ready to get intimate with something other than a human, and she did it anyway, in a place that I couldn't possibly deny her. My mind flashed back to when she had forcefully changed my gender and locked me inside my head. I had gotten her back for it, in my own small way, but...the scar was still there.

She had _hurt_ me.

Who was to say she wouldn't do it _again?_

NO! Sarah wouldn't do something like that on purpose. This whole situation is just fucked up beyond belief. Mistakes were going to be made when things got lost in translation, and I had to keep her past life in mind. She had lived for, what, _thousands_ of years? She was _used_ to getting her way and protecting what was hers, what with her being the ruler of a nation and all. And I don't remember hearing about any past relationships of hers.

Was...was I her first relationship?

A memory of her tiny human form staring at me flashed through my head. The first time we had met, she had been so small and innocent-looking. She acted crazy, sure, but at the time, I just listed it off as an adorable perk of hers. Now that everything made sense...

I'm just not good at this shit. I _want_ to have the answers, but I don't. Whatever happens, I just want everything to work itself out and have everyone happy at the end. I just wanted to hide myself in Sarah's warm fur and disappear...

Sarah must have noticed my tightening grip around her neck and turned her head just enough to glance back at me. Her eyes were full of concern, and what looked to be exhaustion. I didn't blame her in the slightest. After all, I had been causing tons of shit to go wrong ever since I got here.

"Ryan? Are you okay?" she asked, her voice barely audible over the sound of the wind rushing by us as we descending. Canterlot was approaching, and fast. The closer we got, the more nervous I felt. I had built up the courage to face the city before, but that had all been washed away when I became a laser-beam and then figured out that I had received head from a pony...while in my head.

_That tongue though~_

I shivered away that thought, my face warming up. "Y-yeah, I'm good. Just...sore from the laser-puking is all..." I fibbed, trying to hide my face from her. Her flapping wings served as a decent barrier from her probing eyes. It didn't work for long. Somehow, I could see her narrowed eyes, even though she was staring straight ahead.

"You're a bad liar, mister," she scolded. I flinched and hugged her neck even tighter. I didn't want to talk about how good she had felt in that dream and how much I hated myself for enjoying it. A pony had done _things_ to me with her mouth, even though it wasn't real. My only hope was that the entire dream was nothing but her mouth. I _really_ didn't want our first time to be in a dream. Though...wasn't my _actual_ first time fake? It was in Mom's head, as a part of her imagination.

Was I still a virgin?

"It's just...the dr-dream..." I barely managed to squeak out. My throat forced itself shut when I tried doing anything _close_ to vocalizing my problem. Sarah's wings flapped a bit harder for a moment and she turned her head so that I couldn't see her face at all.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Ryan. I just...sorry..." she squeaked in return. God damn, that made me feel even _worse_. I'd rather keep her happy then dwell in my own problems. She probably only did it to make me more used to the current situation, anyway. Was it time to forget what I was upset about in order to make her happy?

My Burbank-sense was saying _yes_ , despite how bad for my mental health I knew it probably was.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's just a bit weird, thinking about it...but, it did feel pretty good..." I mumbled the last part just loudly enough for her to hear. Instantly, her ears shot up and I felt a tremble run through her. Her head turned again so that I could see her eyes as she spoke.

"R-really...? It was nice?" she asked, the hopeful tones in her voice pulling straight at my heart. Fuck, if these ponies didn't know how to manipulate me...but my answer was already there. I gave her a confident smile that betrayed my inner turmoil and started massaging her neck gently.

" _Mhmm_. You've been hiding those tongue skills from me for _waaaay_ too long, Bear," I teased, messing up the fur in the area I was massaging. For a second, her wings locked in place and we glided in a straight line instead of descending. It took me a few moments to remember that her wings sometimes acted as...dicks. I made her wings hard.

"HA!" I snorted, wrapping my arms around her neck and giggling wildly. Oh, I definitely had to start using that against her more often. Before I could continue my mirthful outburst, Sarah regained control of one of her wings and used it to smack me in the back of the head. Before we could start falling, she resumed flapping. I only caught a brief look at her face, but it was much more purple than I remembered.

"Oh, hey, when did _Twilight_ get here?" I asked cheekily. Sarah tilted her head a little, unaware of what I was implying. She even looked around, expecting to see the Princess of Friendship flying along next to us or something. I gave her a few moments to mull it over to see if she would get it. She did not. So, being the super-amazing and totally-subtle boyfriend that I was, I gave her a hint. "You know, Princess _Purple~_ " She got it. Before I could say anything else, her flowing astral mane expanded and wrapped itself around her face, making her eyes the only thing visible.

Oh my god. Too cute. Having...another...heart...

"HHHNNNNNG!" I groaned, clutching my heart dramatically and pretending to slump over, dead. Sarah almost started freaking out at my apparent lack of being alive, but I snipped her worries away with a comedic _'Bleh.'_ I received another wing to the back of the head for my efforts.

" _Please_ don't do that. I'm having a hard time telling when you're joking, anymore," Sarah whined, her wings flapping more rapidly for some reason. Our descend was slowing, and I think her wings were trying to push us back up.

"Hence the _'Bleh,'_ " I informed her. Suddenly, I felt a jarring thump as we exited our flight. I knew we were back on the ground, now, but I didn't want to look. My mouth had recently been used as a cannon to fire off a very bright, very _noticeable_ beam of light into the sky. I doubted any residents of the city were still indoors. I knew that if _I_ had seen something like that out my window at home, I would go out to investigate.

A few moments of silence passed. I could almost feel the overwhelming amount of stares being directed straight at me.

"Ryan," Sarah pressed, nudging me with her wing, "Open your eyes. Look."

"Don't wanna. They're going to make me puke lasers again," I complained childishly. I knew that I was going to comply in a few moments, and I could tell that Sarah knew it, too.

"Ryan, this is why you came here in the first-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just being difficult," I interrupted, waving her argument away. In reality, I was just bullshitting to give myself some more time to gather my courage enough to-

"Ryan!" I heard a tiny voice squeak from down below us. Oh. Shit. I looked down, peeking out of Sarah's feathers at the little form that was brave enough to approach us. It was the filly that I had seen before, when we had first arrived, the one that had been handing out fliers for the party/funeral.

She was still in her little frilly filly dress, but I barely recognized her with her head up. Before, she had seemed so out of it and depressed. Now, her eyes gleamed up at me with joy and her little tail swished from side to side happily. She looked like she was contemplating trying to scale the lunar goddess I was perched on to get to me, but I knew that that wasn't all that safe. So, instead, I climbed down to her.

Before I knew what was going on, I had a squealing filly in my arms, cuddling the shit out of me. I couldn't help myself; I cuddled the shit out her right back. The next few minutes became a blur of snuggling, happy squeaks, and laughter. I had even laid down at one point so that the filly could perch on my chest as she played. It was like coming home to find a new puppy waiting for your love and attention. Except this puppy was wearing a dress. And she was a pony.

After the moment of happiness calmed down enough where we could see straight, I sat up and looked around. Ponies. Ponies goddamn everywhere. Again! This time, it looked like the majority of the population of Canterlot was standing around us, perfectly still and perfectly silent. The only noise case from the brash rainbow-maned pegasus calling down information to the moving pack of ponies trying to push their way through the crowd.

"They're over here!" Dash called out from her cloud car, pointing in the direction of Sarah, the filly and me. They had to wade through the colorful sea of motionless Canterlot ponies to get to use, but I eventually saw them approaching the front. Twilight and the rest of my friends stopped at the front of the crowd, seemingly unsure of what was going on. A shiver of stress shot through me as I noticed just _how many_ sets of eyes were locked on me, waiting for me to...do _anything_ , I guess. Maybe they couldn't believe their eyes, and were just waiting for someone else to make up their minds for them.

I didn't recognize all that many ponies in the crowd; it seemed that most of the ponies that had been in the party were either still unconscious or were at the back of the crowd, trying to move their way up. The nameless masses didn't have the same parting power as the group of national heroes that had decided to befriend me.

So, it seemed that most of the ponies staring at me were seeing me for the first time since they saw me die.

I had to be tactful about this; couldn't let another situation like the one from the party occur.

No pressure; I just had the majority of Canterlot staring at me like I had just descended from the heavens after firing a beam of light.

...

PANIC!

My mind raced and, for some reason, settled on my extensive memory of movies I had seen, _especially_ those I had seen during my youth. Without having enough control to stop myself, I wrapped my hands around the giggling filly and stood up, lifting her with my hands under her front legs and raising her high above my head.

"IT'S THE CIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIFE!~" I sang, my mind a bleary haze of nerves and stupidity. The reaction from the crowd was instantaneous. Every mare, stallion, mallion and stare started cheering and making joyous _'whoop!'_ sounds as they reared onto their back legs. The filly above my head laughed so hard that I could see tears pouring down her face as she witnessed herself being proclaimed the new heir to...uh, the air above my head.

"AND IT MOOOOVES US ALLLLL!~" the crowd sang back at me, shocking me with their knowledge of my world's films. The crowd went quiet, apparently waiting for me to continue the song. Um...I didn't actually remember what came after that. What was I supposed to do? They were just...staring at me, their eyes wide with anti-

...

...

-pation. What was my Burbank-sense telling me to do?

"AHHHH PENNSYLVANIAAAAAA~ EGGS-BABBA!~" I sang instead, hoping against reason that they would go along with it. It didn't surprise me when they didn't. Instead, they just gaped up at me like I had just spat out a giant laser and flew down from the sky on an immortal winged unicorn with royal jewelry. Oh, well, it wasn't like anybody knew what the original song was saying anyway.

"You're silly, Ryan," I heard the filly say as she started squirming slightly in my grasp. Oh, I was still holding her up. The way I was holding her probably wasn't all that comfortable. Oops.

" _Aaand_ down you go," I said softly as I knelt down, letting the filly hop to the ground, her dress crumpling slightly with her movements. To my surprise, she didn't go anywhere once I had let her go. She just stood there, grinning at me and barely containing her happiness. If I hadn't been through so much _cute_ already, that _might_ have killed me.

Death by cute. Been there, done that.

Sarah had been sitting back, watching me interact with the filly with a large smile on her face. I had noticed the smile fade into a look of confusion when I had started singing, but she quickly regained it when I fucked up the lyrics. My silliness would charm the hell out of these ponies _yet_.

A series of movements caught my attention. I turned my head just in time to see the rest of my friends join me-

Wait, something was wrong. Wasn't there usually another friend? And my eyes noticed a distant lack of pink burning my-

"RYAN!" Pinkie squealed happily as she flung herself onto me from behind.

"GAH!" I yelped as the pink ball of fluff and sugar crashed into me. Huh...I didn't fall down. Maybe I was getting more used to my magical body or something, because I barely even felt her weight hanging off of me. I just hoped that I didn't instinctively develop defense mechanisms like that. If I was going to be using magic all the time, I wanted to be able to _control_ what happened.

I would _never_ forgive myself if one of the ponies ever surprised me and my magic hurt them because of it.

"EEEEEEEE! You're okay! You're okay you're okay you're okay you're-!" Pinkie shouted into my fucking ear, making my brain rattle around. Luckily, I thought fast enough and shoved my hand over her mouth before she gave me tinnitus. Not so luckily, she responded by giving my hand a very long and deliberate lick. H-her _tongue_. It was warm...and _wet_...

Immediately, a blast of memories from the dream Sarah and I had shared came rushing forth. My face grew bright red and I very nearly tore my hand away from Pinkie. Fucking hell, was this going to be a thing, now?! I couldn't even come into contact with a pony's tongue without thinking about dirty shit?! Fuck...

Sarah noticed my reaction and offered nothing more than a guilty smile. Yeah, didn't help. Pinkie continued trying to talk my ear off as I was once again shoved headfirst into a war with myself. I wasn't attracted to ponies. Just their tongues. Ugh, _that_ didn't make it sound any better. But if they could all do what Sarah had done...then what was I so worried about?

Losing respect for myself, that's what.

"Are you okay?" I heard a familiar voice say as I felt a hoof place itself upon my leg. Twilight was looking up at me with a concerned expression, her eyes switching between my blushing face and the pink pony hanging around my neck. I swallowed and nodded nervously, _really_ not wanting to talk about it.

"Of course he's okay! Did he see that laser? He's...so...awesome!" Dash gushed from up on her cloud. I couldn't see her, but her car was spinning in circles for some reason. After a moment, her multicolored mane popped into view, along with the top half of her face. I could see that her eyes were slightly red...had she been crying? "Oh, and don't that again. Like... _ever_ ," she commanded.

"Do, uh...do what?" I asked, a nervous lump moving up my throat. Had I upset them? Fluttershy, who I hadn't taken note of yet, was the one to answer me. My heart nearly stopped as I saw the tear-streaked cheeks of the timid pegasus. Holy fuck, what had I done?

"Please...don't scare us like that..." Fluttershy asked quietly, sniffling every few seconds. The good mood I had from interacting with the filly melted away and I was once again dragged into that awful feeling I got whenever I made someone sad. My shoulders slumped so suddenly that Pinkie fell off and landed on her hooves, her eyes moving up to my face. She wasn't hurt, so I stopped paying attention.

"Sorry..." I mumbled, a cold feeling spreading throughout my body. Wow, I _really_ couldn't stop making ponies sad, could I? I try to cheer them up, I end up making them think I died again. Was there anything I could do _right?_ Maybe it would have been better if I _had_ died in the hospital...

A tiny form chose that moment to wrap itself around my ankle, transfering its warmth into me. Strangely, the warmth from the body on my foot stopped the coldness that had been moving inside of me and beat it back. I felt warm again, and my thoughts evened out. What had I been thinking? The past few moments...it all just felt like a dark haze.

"It's okay, I'm sure you didn't _mean_ to make them sad," the filly said from her footstool. Heh. Was she right? Yeah, she was _absolutely_ right. I _hated_ making ponies sad. So why did I keep doing it?

Maybe it had something to do with me making _tons_ of bad decisions when under pressure.

"Excuse me, pardon me, no, I'm not made out of Candy, excuse me," I heard a slightly familiar voice say as it moved its way through the crowd, coming straight at me. The very tip of what I assumed was a crown tipped me off to who was coming my way. Sarah's shiver of apprehension only reinforced my assumption.

"Cadance?" Twilight asked, just then remembering that the pink princess had been with us only a little while ago. The slightly larger alicorn finally broke through the crowd and-

Pfft, nice look there, Candy. She was literally Princess Candy now, with tons of sweets stuck to her body and tangled in her mane. She look like someone had brought Candyland to life, but killed Plumpy before he could do any damage to the minds of the rest of the population.

Seriously, _fuck_ Plumpy.

"H-hey, Twilight! And...RYAN!" she squealed, launching herself at me. I yipped and ducked down instinctively, forgetting that Sarah and I had landed pretty much on the edge of the city, overlooking the drop-off that came with being located on the side of a mountain. Everyone gasped in horror as Candy flew right over the edge, screaming my name the entire time. I acted as fast as I could, running to the edge and crouching down so that she could hear me.

"USE YOUR WINGS, YOU MORON!" I demanded. My heart was thumping in my chest, though it still felt weird to me. My magic heart was slightly different than my real heart. Candy went silent for a second as she fell, before clocking herself in the head with her hoof and shooting her wings out. Immediately, her descent slowed and she went into a glide. She remained gliding for a little while to regain control of her thoughts before flapping her way back up to the city.

The crowd that had gathered itself against the edge to watch let out a collective sigh of relief. Myself, I just sat there, marveling out how stupid ponies could be as soon as they saw me. Was I just a drug to them? A stupidfying, dumbass drug. Joy.

I took a few steps away from the ledge, back towards Sarah. Fluttershy had been the only one to stay back from the ledge, the swarming crowd frightening her into seclusion. She had taken her place next to Sarah, who still didn't seem to mind her presence. Hah, maybe I could tease Sarah later about having the hots for Flutters.

... _Maybe_ not, she might dream-fuck me again as a pony. Or a cactus.

Candy landed rather gracefully on the edge, despite the mass amounts of sugar decorating her. She gave the crowd a grateful bow before her eyes shot back up to me...they were disturbingly _hungry_. Holy shit, was I supposed to run? Was I supposed to stand my ground? If I ran, would she pounce? I subconsciously pressed my back up against my girlfriend, looking to her for protection. What I got was a wing covering me, its warmth seeping into my body and calming me greatly. Candy blinked in confusion.

"Ryan? Why are you...with Princess Luna? I don't think she _likes_ you all that much...did you see what she wrote about you in the sky?" she asked quickly, giving Pinkie's ramblings a run for their money. _Oohhh_ , I didn't want to discuss this in front of the entire population of Canterlot. They still bustled angrily around Sarah, but seemed to have calmed down a bit after they saw her save me. I _really_ didn't think they could handle the rest of the truth yet. Time to divert!

"Really? I'm alive, here in pony world, and that's the first thing you ask me?" I asked with a smirk. She took the bait like a good little pony princess, her eyes widening in realization. A gasp flew from not only her mouth, but the rest of the crowd, who seemed to finally realize that I was, indeed, real. What the hell had the _last twenty minutes_ been for them?

Oh, yeah. The whole _'ponies act stupid around me'_ thing.

"Ah, YES! _How?!_ How are you _here_ , how are you _real_ , how are you _still alive_ , we all saw you _die!_ " Candy exploded, taking a few excited steps towards me. Sarah's wings tightened over me like a big protective blanket of blue warmth. The pink alicorn noticed this, and was once again confused into silence.

"It's...a long story, Cadance. I think...maybe we should discuss it with, uhm...with less _ears?_ " Twilight offered, placing a hoof upon her frazzled... _uhm_...wasn't _quite_ sure what Candy was to Twi. Friend? Princess peer? Girlfriend? Family?

Candy blinked and looked around to the crowd that had been watching us intently. Some of the ponies had already started selling popcorn and other refreshments as they settled in for a show. How did they prepare so fast? A twinge of knowing hit the pink princess' face as she took in the sheer number of ponies that _really_ didn't need to know any of what was being told...at least, not _yet_. Maybe when things settled down and we found a solution for everything, we could release all the info.

"R-right...yes...uhm...oh! The castle! Shiny and I are staying in the castle during our time here, we could go back there! And Ryan, you _have_ to meet Shiny!" she gushed, pressing her hooves into her cheeks and squishing her lips together. Weird. That was something I would more expect Dash to do. But Dash was still just hovering around, having nabbed some of the popcorn that was being passed around.

"Who's _Shiny?_ Pet cat?" I asked, thoroughly confused. That got a giggle out of both Candy and Sarah, along with the rest of the girls. Twilight just rolled her eyes and sighed, shaking her head slowly.

"No, you silly goose! Shining Armour is my husband and Twilight's brother! He's been taking care of some things back at the castle while I handled your... _ehm_ , you _know_ , the party," Candy explained. Oh, that explained a few things, then. I didn't know Twilight had an older brother. Or did I? Ugh, too many things for my poor mind to keep track of. Judging from Candy's reaction to me, and his relation to Twilight, this Shining dude was probably also a fan. _Greeeat_ , more introductions.

"Sounds good," I said quickly, noting that the crowd of ponies was moving slowly closer to us. "How do we get there, though? There's a bit of an obstacle in the way." Candy and Twilight looked around at the Canterlot ponies, who seemed to be figuring out that they weren't going to be hearing any juicy details, and weren't too happy about it.

"Right. I'll just teleport us there. A little help, Twilight?" Candy asked, bumping her butt against Twilight's. Twi squeaked a little before nodding eagerly. Uhm...did she not remember the whole thing with me and outside magic not blending well? I tried to speak up, but a blinding flash of purple and pink took up my consciousness before I could object.

FLASH

****

Again, I was subjected to a swirling tunnel of colors and movement as my body stretched every which way. Now that I was more awake for the process, I could equate the experience with being launched out of a giant slingshot and traveling forward at the speed of light. This time, however, a bunch of other forms of color and life accompanied me. It only took me a few moments to realize that it was the girls, Sarah and Candy with us. Twilight, Candy and Sarah somehow kept themselves moving straight forward, the momentum not seeming to bother them. I tried to call out to Sarah for help, but I didn't seem to have a voice in the stream.

Luckily, she seemed to notice my panicked expression and quickly moved over to me, wrapping herself around me from behind and adjusting me so that I flew as straight as she was. Immediately, I calmed down. Now that I was no longer flailing around in a panic, I could take it just how pretty the teleportation stream was. The colors that were just a blur before were now vaguely recognizable objects that were flying by us faster than the eye was supposed to see. A house here, a storefront there, and so many ponies. I wanted to take more of it in, but Sarah's grip tightened around me as she prepared to exit the stream. I took the hint and braced for impact.

FLASH

Our entire group flew from the tunnel, seemingly just popping back into existence on the other side. Candy and Twilight landed gracefully, showing just how many times they had teleported in the past. Sarah was the only reason I didn't land on my ass like I had done back in Ponyville. The other girls had varying reactions to being shat out of thin air.

Pinkie landed and instantly started bouncing to relieve some of the momentum, giggling the whole time. Fluttershy managed to flap her wings a few times before she hit the ground, slowing herself and hitting the ground softly. And Rainbow Dash...was pinging from wall to wall, still inside her cloud car. Didn't she think to put brakes inside of that thing? I waited until she passed over my head before reaching up, my hands moving through the cloud until I felt Dash's warm body against my hands. I grasped her just hard enough to stop her, her traction on the cloud stopping it entirely.

"Well, here we are!" I heard Candy proclaim from behind me. Sarah finally let go of me, once I had let go of Rainbow Dash. She was still protective, even if she wasn't trying to be. I looked back and Candy, who was raising a candy-coated hoof upwards, like she was saying 'Ta-da!' My eyes widened as I took in the scenery around us.

So... _this_ was what a castle was like...

Why would they purposely make a room with so much empty space inside? Too much space...

"Cadance, is that you?" I heard a male voice call out from a different room. Candy shuffled from side to side excitedly, giving me an eager grin. Again, her expression was chilling enough to make me retreat against Sarah for safety. Okay, so this dude was Twilight's brother and Candy's hus...band...oh. "So how did everything g-"

The girls all looked towards the form that had just entered the room we had landed in. There, standing in the doorway, was a large white unicorn with a mane that looked...chemically colored to match _my_ hair color. Even the way his mane was _parted_ and _combed_ looked styled after me. The reason I could tell that wasn't his natural hair color was because I could see the blue roots coming in. So his mane was supposed to be blue...

That wasn't all. He was wearing a very Burbank-looking hoodie, with the same operator symbol on it that I had on my own hoodie. I was still wearing Rarity's new one, so the symbol was cut in half at that moment.

His butt mark was an operator symbol.

...

Yeah, I saw that correctly. I wouldn't have been looking at his ass normally, but the symbol looked...too bold to be natural. It was like he had just painted it on or something stupid like that. My eyes wandered up to his face, to meet his own horrified glare. The room went even more silent than it had been as we waited for his response. I expected him to geek out over meeting me, but that was the farthest thing from what I actually got.

"N-no...no...no no nonono _NO!_ " he screamed, his pained wail sending a bolt of guilt through me. Had I _already_ done something to upset him? What the fuck was it about me that made ponies just freak the hell out? Shining Armor lifted his front leg to cover his face, using the sleeved limb to stifle a sob.

Candy gasped and rushed over to her husband, who flinched away and backed up a few steps. "Shiny, what's wrong?!" she demanded with a lovingly concerned expression on her face. Shining just took a deep, trembling breath and glared at me.

"H-how... _how am I supposed to compete with that?!_ " he yelled, retreating another few steps. Sarah once again covered me with a wing when Shining directed his hostility at me. I blinked at the raging unicorn and pushed myself back against my girlfriend even more. Twilight joined Candy in trying to calm the pony version of me down.

"Shining, it's okay!" Twilight tried to assure her brother, "I don't know what's wrong, but it's okay! He's nice!" Shining just choked down another sob before shaking his head, turning tail and darting back out of the door he had entered through. Candy and Twilight took off after him, calling his name until I could no longer hear them.

The room went silent for another few long, uncomfortable moments. Then Dash broke the hell out of that silence.

"Well _that_ was bucking weird," she stated from up on her cloud. The other girls nodded in agreement, though Pinkie regained her smile fairly quickly and moved herself against my side. Fluttershy saw Pinkie doing that and took the opportunity to do the same. I then had three warm pony bodies pressed against me, with another one floating above me and keeping watch. The closeness and affection I felt from them melted the nervous pit that had been growing inside me.

Whatever the hell had just happened, I knew that it was just the beginning of all the _fun_ things that the castle was going to have to offer me. What next, an orchestra composed entirely out of asparagus plants?

...

NO NO NO PLEASE DON'T, I WAS KIDDING!


	21. S2E4: What We've Made

" _Soooo_...what do you think?"

"Ahh bah... _b-baaahhh_...huuuh...?" Lyra responded smartly to the grinning stallion next to her. She lost the ability to form words the moment she stepped out of the Manehattan train station and out into the light of the bustling city. It was just _too_ much for her.

"Like it?" Prime prodded, smiling like a smug jerk. The babbling mare didn't even hear him; she was too busy staring at the familiar city before her eyes. It was...it was _Ryan's city!_ The one he worked in, somehow...it was _real_! The buildings were almost identical to the ones that plagued her dreams for most of her younger years, the signs advertised brands and products that she thought only existed in her mind, and the sounds...

She could hear music from her world! Some of the carriages had installed music playing devices that were filling the city with the ring of many different alien genres, most of which she remembered using at least once during _OtherWorld_. The strumming sound of electric guitars seemed to be the city's favorite new sound.

Bon Bon wasn't faring much better. She wasn't as familiar with everything in Ryan's world as Lyra was, but she was probably the second-most knowledgeable. That came with living with the mare who created the show and often needing to help her out during the broadcasts. And during some of the more dramatic episodes, Bon Bon was the shoulder for Lyra to bury her face into and cry.

At first, the cream-colored mare didn't realize just what she was looking at. It took the familiar red and white colors of Ryan's favorite soda brand to knock her out of her awed state. Seconds of staring passed before Bon Bon finally figured out that she was looking at an advertisement on a passing carriage.

"How...?" was all Bon Bon could manage to say. Lyra was still muttering to herself, a thin line of drool leaking down her chin. Her golden eyes were flying around, taking in every little inch of detail the city was portraying for her. It was, after all, the first time that the city was being showed to _her_ , and not the other way around.

"Lots of hard work...and a _genius_ designer," Prime answered, smiling warmly at Lyra. She finally broke her stare away from the city sights and turned to her blue and red friend. She still couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"I don't...I...this is c-crazy..." she whimpered. Her brain was in serious danger of shutting down, something only Bon Bon noticed. Quickly, the candy mare shot to her friend's side and embraced her, providing something to lean on and hide in. Lyra did just that; burying her face in Bonnie's soft chest fur and sealing herself off from the overwhelming world around her. How was she supposed to take all of this in? Her entire world, something she had been seeing in her head every since she was a little filly...it was just... _there_. Well, it wasn't her _entire_ world, but the chunk she was seeing was big enough.

"Oh geez! Is she okay?" Prime asked quickly, immediately concerned by the sudden change in Lyra's emotions. Bon Bon didn't say anything, but nodded her head and lifted a hoof to Lyra's mane, stroking it softly. The mint mare's body trembled less as time went on, until the point that she was completely still except for the movements of her breathing.

"You're okay, Lyra. It's fine, it's just a city. You're not dreaming, it's real," Bon Bon assured her friend. Lyra seemed to go still for a few moments, even her breathing halting. When the need for oxygen reached her, she got her proof of reality and dared to peek out from beyond the comforting world of Bonnie's chest fluff. As soon as her eyes met a group of ponies wearing human-brand shoes, her pupils shrank and she shoved her head back into the world of Bon Bon.

"There's...there's no reason to be upset, Lyra. Um...why is she upset?" Prime asked, anxiously leaning from side to side. Bon Bon sighed as she continued trying to get Lyra to calm down.

"Besides for the whole _'everything you ever thought was a dream keeps coming to life'_ thing?" she asked sarcastically. Prime flinched and lowered his head, but nodded faintly. "She...she's had dreams about stuff like this happening before. A few times, in those dreams, she pictured the humans of her imagination getting mad at her for some of the bad things that happen in their world. She thinks that because it's in her head, then it's her fault when somebody ends up suffering in some way," she explained, trying to ignore how tense Lyra was at the retelling of those events. "I've had to calm her down a few times after she woke up screaming...but then, after one night, the dreams just stopped. We're still not entirely sure why, but _I'm_ not complaining."

Prime looked sadly down at Lyra, his tail swishing uncomfortably. He didn't want to overwhelm her; he was just so _excited_ about showing her everything that had been going on as a direct result of her imagination. Why would he _not_ try to hype it up for the master of the world that inspired the city? If only every passing pony knew just _who_ they were giving confused looks to as they passed by...the three of them would be signing autographs until the next year!

"I'm okay..." Lyra mumbled, her voice barely audible through Bon Bon's body. She took a deep breath and moved away, slowly examining the city once more. This time, she had prepared herself enough so that she didn't go insane from the mere sight of everything she had been dreaming of. Her eyes moved slower, taking in each individual detail before moving on to the next. The city looked almost _identical_ to the city that Ryan worked in. If it wasn't for the lack of cars and humans moving about, she might have been convinced that she was dreaming once again. "H-how...how long has all...of this been going on...?" she asked weakly, waving a trembling hoof in front of her. Prime smiled a little, happy to see that she was recovering.

"Well...do you remember when you got that sudden raise in pay?" he asked. Lyra tilted her head and bit her tongue in thought, trying to push past the current surroundings to dig deep into her long-term memory. After a few moments, she nodded.

"Yeeeaaaah? That was a few years ago, right? Wait...that raise was from all of this being built?" she inquired, her pupils shrinking a bit. "I thought it just came with being the most popular show in Equestria..." Prime Warner chuckled softly and shook his head, his faded red mane swishing down into his eyes.

"Nope, that extra money was the royalties being paid. Since everything was based off of your ideas, we had to find a way to pay you back. I thought I told Dream Catcher to tell you that back when it first started..." Prime grumbled. Bon Bon stood up, dusting herself off quickly with her front hoof.

"Honestly, he _might_ have. It's pretty hard to understand what he's saying when he grumbles every word," Bon Bon explained. A look of knowing crossed Prime's face.

"Ah. Yep, that sounds like DC. Going to have to talk to him about that...once we get him to take off that darned batpony costume," he groaned, rubbing at his tired eyes with a foreleg. Around him, a few ponies out of every group would point and stare, mumbling to each other. Bon Bon noticed this, but Lyra was still reeling from the sights. In place of her previous fear, she was now stomping in circles, excitedly beaming up at the buildings towering over her. Both Prime and Bonnie smiled as they watch her, equally happy to see her coming back out of her shell.

"So...want to see where I work?" Prime offered, moving his head to one side to indicate which direction he was going. Both mares turned to look at him for a few seconds before nodding. They had been to the Olivia Warner building before, but that was _waaay_ back when. What had been going on there since they last visited? Lyra pictured a giant statue of Ryan with ponies mourning all over it inside the building. Maybe they would have ponies burning hospital beds to show their disdain for all things medical. Bon Bon imagined countless suited ponies walking around like robots, efficiently milking all of their storytellers for whatever their stories were worth.

Bon Bon didn't see showponies in the best of light, after what they had made her best friend do. Prime was alright to her, but only because he was the only one she knew that actually _apologized_ for the pain he had put Lyra through. If the rest of the ponies were _anything_ like Time Warner, then she would be going back home with a few more notches on her left hoof.

Together, the group moved steadily along, the two mares following closely behind Prime's swishing red tail. Both of them refused to stare, out of respect for their troubled young friend.

At least, they tried not to stare. They found it easy to hide when a good amount of the ponies on the street also stared at Prime like he was some sort of cosmic anomaly. At first, they couldn't figure out why. Once they spotted a younger mare waving around what looked to be a _cell phone_ (Lyra squeaked excitedly at this), they knew what was going on.

Prime Warner's position as owner of the largest Gem Show company in Equestria was _not_ a secret. In hindsight, both of them knew that they should have seen it coming. With how friendly he was to everypony, _of course_ he would be known. Hay, he probably knew the middle names of anypony on the street that happened to have one.

Lyra and Bon Bon jumped back a bit when the mare with the phone ran up to Prime and started babbling quickly, her eyes wide and gleaming. The messy stallion blinked before adopting a wide grin.

"Heya, Poppy! How's the studio?" he asked, causing the light pink mare to blush and swoon dramatically. Lyra giggled and Bon Bon rolled her eyes at the pony's over-the-top display. Her performance had another side-effect that the two mares didn't appreciate: she was drawing a whole lot of attention to Prime, causing more and more ponies to rush over to see what was happening. Once they saw Prime, the ponies that knew him converged in a buddy-buddy shove. Lyra and Bon Bon winced as Prime was swallowed by a crowd of shoving ponies.

Before they could try to save him, Prime broke his own way out by lifting himself with his magic and carrying himself up and over the crowd. He was even more disheveled than he was, both of his eyes covered by his long red mane. He gave off a nervous laugh before touching back down on the ground in front of his two friends. Behind him, the crowd continued to shove, somehow unaware that he had escaped so easily.

"Uh...Poppy, huh?" Lyra blurted, trying to say anything that would draw attention away from what had just happened. Prime laughed again, his cheeks flushed from the intense heat he had experience while inside the writhing mass of pony meat.

"Y-yep. Poppy Razzi, young mare that owns a photo studio. She's done a poster or two for some of my shows," Prime explained. Bon Bon tilted her head, unable to stop herself from prying further.

"Any for _OtherWorld_?" she asked innocently. Prime just snorted and shook his head.

" _Naaah_ , we have a professional team for _OtherWorld_. Poppy's just getting started, so we help her out with work for the smaller shows. With _OtherWorld_ , however, we can always afford to hire the _best_ ," Prime stated, holding his hoof to his chest in a dramatic pose of great pride. Both mares did a comical head-tilt, but quickly accepted what he had said.

"And who _is_ the best?" Lyra questioned. Prime dropped his snobbish pose and smirked.

"Her father, Poppa," he said. Bon Bon's eyes narrowed immediately, but Lyra took her dear, sweet time getting it.

"Wait...so she's Poppy Razzi...and her father is Poppa...so that would be Poppa Razzi...professional pho-...oh buck off!" she suddenly exclaimed once she understood the irony. Prime burst out into a fit of laughter, accidentally drawing the attention back to himself and his two friends. He stopped laughing just in time to stop a random mare from clinging to him from behind. The grown stallion let out a childish yelp of surprise and darted behind Bon Bon. Lyra watched the crowd advance upon them, slowly backing herself up against her roommate. Then, something caught her attention.

"Hey, wait-!"

"Oops, sorry, gotta go!" Prime yelled out to the ponies, surprising them. In a flash of bright light, Prime's horn lit and both mares were enveloped into his warm aura. He carefully lifted the three of them with his magic, moving them over the crowd and zooming away from the potentially dangerous scene.

Lyra pawed at the aura with her hoof, trying to get back down. She wasn't really afraid of heights, but being suddenly launched into the air and flying around was _not_ something a unicorn was accustomed to. Plus, she had a sudden barrage of questions she had wanted to ask the ponies, but she was airlifted just before she could sate her newfound curiosity.

The constantly shifting sights of everything she thought could never exist in Equestria was not helping her relax, either. There were so many things that were passed by that she was already dying to explore; music stores, toy stores, shopping centers, movie theaters...movie theaters! Did they show movies from Ryan's world using the gems? How many movies have been shown during _OtherWorld_ , where they would know enough to actually design a building around them?

Bon Bon, being an earth pony and not touching any earth, was freaking out in her own subtle way. Prime, floating ahead of the two mares, didn't notice their reactions until the candy mare let out a less-than-flattering squeak as she tried to scramble away. The stallion's eyes widened and he quickly moved them back down onto the road, careful not to crush anypony that might have been below them.

With a soft _plop_ , the trio returned to the precious ground that signaled the end of the chase. Bon Bon reacted by rubbing her hooves all over the pavement, sighing in relief as the familiarity of the earth's magic tingle connected to her once again. Lyra was eyeing the way they had came as soon as she had landed. Prime gave them both a shameful look as soon as he turned to look at them, but the mint mare's anxiety drew his attention.

"Um...everything alright, Lyra?" he asked softly, moving forward and putting his front hoof on her back soothingly. Lyra's golden eyes darted around, taking in the scenery. Around them, ponies moved about their daily lives, completely oblivious to the madness that had just occurred moments before, a ways down the street. Some ponies were listening to music that was being sent out from tiny little earbuds, the kind that hadn't been available to ponies yet. Other ponies were moving around on vaguely skateboard-looking objects that were mechanically similar, but designed for equine use. Everything in the city was normal. Worryingly, sickly _normal_.

"Why do none of them look _sad?_ " Lyra asked, her pupils shrinking slightly as she looked back to her friends. Prime Warner reacted faster than Bon Bon to this information, his head shooting around and examining the citygoers around them. Just like Lyra, his eyes widened and his pupils shrank slightly.

"I...don't get it. Why is that bad?" Bon Bon asked just as a little filly trotted by with a Ryan Burbank plush toy held in her mouth. She was humming a little song happily, without a care in the world. Shortly after she went by, two ponies that were assumed to be her parents followed after her, both wearing _OtherWorld_ branded clothing. To Prime's shock, they were both smiling gently, looks of immense relief plastered on their faces. They looked happy-drunk.

None of the ponies in the city were sad anymore.

But they were when Prime had left.

"...We have to get back to HQ," Prime stated before taking off down the street, leaving two confused mares in his wake. After a shared glance, Lyra and Bon Bon sped off after him, trying not to lose the speedy stallion in the crowd that had started to form.

Lyra was able to take in more scenery from the ground, and kept almost drooling at the different products and stores she came across. Bon Bon, as familiar as she was with the show and its world, wasn't nearly as knowledgeable about the finer details. As she ran, Bon Bon kept asking herself just how in the hay they managed to find some of the designs they had created.

"Bonnie, it's an _American Eagle!_ But spelled like _Amareican_...cool!" Lyra shouted as she tried to keep her breathing steady.

"I saw it, Lyra! Just keep running!" Bon Bon shouted back to her friend. The earth pony had way more stamina when it came to physical activity, so she had to pace herself as to not leave her minty friend behind. Prime was somehow speeding up as he ran, instead of tiring out. Whatever he was worried about was fueling his sprint, keeping him moving even when his muscles were telling him to stop. He had to weave in and out of other ponies that were walking along the streets, though only some complained; some others called out his name in happy greeting as if welcoming a friend.

Somehow, thanks to Bon Bon's encouragement, the two mares managed to keep up with the streaking blur of blue and red. Just as they were about to lose sight of him, he stopped...right in front of a _vaguely_ familiar building. Bon Bon skidded to a halt right behind Prime, but was subsequently barreled over by a shrieking Lyra, who looked about ready to faint. Running was _not_ the unicorn mare's strong suit, so the extended marathon they had just been subjected to took an extreme toll on her.

"Bon Bon...I'm _dying..._ " Lyra whined between breaths. Her fur was matted with sweat and her mane was plastered to her face, effectively blocking her vision. At least that explained why she had ran down her best friend and roommate like she was playing a game of _Crazy Taxi_ from Ryan's world. Bon Bon just rolled her eyes and sighed.

"No, you're not. Please get up, Lyra," the earth pony mare asked sternly. Lyra groaned and sat up slightly, but remained leaning a good amount of her weight against Bon Bon. Bonnie blushed slightly and scrunched her face, but didn't say anything else about the matter.

Prime just sat there, staring at the building in front of them. Lyra and Bon Bon remembered enough to know that they were looking at the _Olivia Warner_ building, but it was so much _more_ than it was. When they had traveled to sign the papers for OtherWorld, the building was maybe three or four floors. Now, it looked like somepony had copied the original building and produced five more, just to stack them on top of each other. The structure in its new state towered above the trio, it's new architecture obviously influenced by Lyra's imaginative blueprints.

It occurred to the two mares, after looking at him, that Prime wasn't just looking at the building. No, his eyes were glued to the left-side window, in which a giant, colorful poster was hung proudly. What was written on the poster, however, was what made Lyra and Bon Bon's mouths gape open in a manner very similar to the stallion next to them.

OtherWorld: Season 9  
 _Coming Soon!_

The words on the sheet, while bold and colorful, were quite simple and obvious in their meaning. What _really_ caught their eyes was the image under it. To all of their horror, a large portrait of Ryan was plastered on the poster, looking up into the camera happily. In his arms, he held a tiny little human, who bore a striking resemblance...to her father.

Lyra let out a choked sound as she processed just what the buck she was looking at. How was that possible? The picture was obviously made with artistic tools instead of a gem, but how could the posters even exist? The last season had only just ended barely a week ago! Why were they already making posters for the new season? Why were they spoiling so much by showing Ryan, alive, swinging his baby daughter around in his arms happily?

Bon Bon and Prime, who were both a bit more wary about the world and how most things tended to have a hidden intent behind them, knew why the poster was made the way it was. Whomever had designed the poster had spoiled those major details on purpose, probably as a shout to the public that Ryan Burbank was going to be coming back. But how did they know that?

"...Prime?" Lyra piped up suddenly. The stallion didn't move, choosing to remain silent. "Did you tell any others that Celestia told you to bring Ryan back?" Prime Warner swallowed nervously before slowly moving his head from side to side. The mint unicorn lowered her head, her anxiety building back up. "Aww..."

"No...my br-... _Time_ and I agreed to not telling anypony until we knew everything would be set up to promote it again. I...nopony should have known about it!" he declared, his body shaking slightly. He _hated_ when things went wrong for no good reason. Lately, he was learning just _how much_ he hated it. Without another word, he stood up and briskly walked up to the doors of the building. His eyes remained locked ahead, despite the pony or two that tried to get his attention. The new ponies weren't just wanting his attention because he was semi-famous; they seemed more eager to tell him something important. Prime didn't stop to listen.

Lyra and Bon Bon followed behind silently, doing their best to keep up with the stallion. He was taller enough than them that his stride easily surpassed theirs. The closer they got to the building, the more changes they noticed. The front of the building used to be mostly glass, but it had since been replaced by a hard-looking stone material, probably to strengthen the heightened structure. As well as the glass, the original color had been painted over. Years ago, the building had been a calm grey color, which made it blend right into the rest of the city around it. Since then, it had been painted a metallic silver, a color that stood out on top of the stony texture. The two mares had never seen anything like it.

Prime reached the doors and quickly opened one, letting himself in without waiting for his friends to follow him. Bon Bon narrowed her eyes slightly as the careless gesture, but quickly got over it when she remembered that he was freaking out. The stallion had already been through so much in the past few days...Bon Bon hoped that whatever had happened while they were away wasn't too bad.

He might not be able to handle much more.

The two mares had to speed after Prime, forgoing their own longing to explore the vast interior of the OW building so that they could keep up...though they couldn't ignore the advert gem playing the scene from the poster, except in real life. Lyra stared up at the giant animated scene of Ryan laughing while swinging his daughter around in circles, her heart sinking in her chest.

"Did...did I take that from him...?" she asked herself, her eyes beginning to sting. Her voice went unnoticed by her two friends, the combined sounds of their hoofsteps drowning out most any other noise. The minty mare turned her gaze down and convinced herself to just look forward for the time being.

Her guilty feelings could be dealt with when there _wasn't_ something potentially going wrong.

Upwards they went, climbing the stairs with an urgency that they hadn't felt since the incident with Time Warner. Lyra was barely keeping up, not having had a chance to recover from the last run they had gone for. Even Bon Bon was starting to pant. As she followed behind the swishing red tail that led her up, she couldn't stop herself from wondering how in the hay Prime had seemingly more endurance than a bucking _earth pony_.

They passed more an more employees, who all had different reactions to the speeding trio. Some, especially on the lower floors, barely paid any attention as they were passed in the stairwell. The higher Prime went, the more looks of surprise and nervousness they received. The stallion noticed this quickly and only sped up.

Finally, Prime stopped climbing and shot through the door to enter a level of the building. Lyra let out a relieved groan as she all but crawled through the door and examined the interior of the top floor. Again, she went into shock as she viewed the overwhelming amount of _OtherWorld_ products displayed around the room and on the walls. To her further surprise, there appeared to be decorations from shows other than just _OtherWorld_. She spied an aging poster for _The Mare Witch Project_ , some photos of the fighters from the _EFC_ , and a plushie of a griffon in a cape...the main character from _Catbird_. But, in the center of the room, sat a giant piece of art that took Lyra's breath away.

It was... _beautiful_. Ryan was there, in statue form, sitting down against a tree with a calm smile on his face. Sarah was there as well, nestled up on his lap, seemingly asleep. The frozen form of the young man was looking up, an aura of determination visible even as a statue. On the other side of the tree he was leaning against sat his family. Rich, Rose and Emily were also passed out, the larger man holding the two women in his life protectivley as they snoozed.

As much as Lyra could recall, most of the _OtherWorld_ tribute pieces tended to focus around Ryan, and only Ryan. Her memory, being the scattered remains that they were, didn't convince the poor mare completely. Perhaps she was just basing that around what she had seen since Ryan had come to life?

Either way, something about seeing the group of humans together, just having a nice afternoon under a tree, calmed the minty unicorn greatly. They were so serene together; not a thing in the world could have disrupted them...

..except for the red-maned white unicorn that stepped in front of the statue with a genuine smile on his face, like he was once again greeting a lost friend.

"Ah, Prime, you're back!" Common Caster said happily, the secretary behind him looking anxiously at Prime, her actual boss.

Prime just stared at the other stallion for a few moments before leaping forward, his hooves outstretched. Bon Bon flinched, closing her eyes and waiting for the _crack_ of hoof against jaw. It never came. Instead, she was treated to the sound of two grown stallions hugging the buck out of each other.

"Hot," was all Lyra could say. The shy little secretary mare nodded her head softy in agreement.

Bon Bon sighed and clocked herself with her own hoof.

Being around Prime Warner was getting too bucking weird.

****

I had been walking around the castle for awhile, just taking in the sheer size of the fucking place. Why would ponies, no matter how royal they were, need so much space? They could have had at least three more floors inside the empty air in each room. I was pretty sure that I could have fit at least two of my cabins into the damn _bathroom_ I had stumbled upon. Yeah, nothing says _luxury_ like having a thousand square feet to yourself when you were taking a shit.

It was during my wanderings that I had remembered why I didn't go off on my own a lot anymore; when I was alone with no ponies to cheer up, I had no other options then to think.

Thinking to myself _sucked_. All my mind could focus on was the fact that besides for Sarah, I was alone. I had friends now, sure, but everything...fucking _everything_ about me was fictional. My family...they were just a piece of the story. As many times as I wanted to just wake up from this snuggly little nightmare, it was painful obvious that I wasn't sleeping.

Not anymore, at least.

I missed Emily. The wakeup calls she gave me were sorely lacking in my new reality, and I was quite sure she would have beat my ass if she had been able to see what my decision making had been like since I arrived in Pony Land.

I missed dad. His stupid jokes were just another way of him telling us all that he was comfortable enough with his life to be stupid on purpose, and he loved every moment of his time with us. At least...at least now, I woudn't have to worry about him suffering a slow death like I had gone through, but with the cancer that kept coming back to him.

I missed mom. Her loving nature probably made me a bit too soft as an adult, but apparently, I was loved because of it. Though, thinkng about it now, was it really her parenting that did that? Or was it just...was I just made that way originally? Was my tender heart just a piece of what Lyra made me with?

Hell, I even missed Dick!

...That came out wrong. I meant I missed _Bill_ , the guy I worked with, not...ugh...

A cough brought me out of my random thinking and made me stop in my tracks, my eyes scanning the environment around me. I had somehow managed to walk into a courtroom of some kind, and it was apparent that I was interupting a case in progress. Every set of eyes was locked on me, including the wide and familiar eyes of Princess Celestia, who was perched on the biggest chair in the room. Was she acting as the judge?

I suddenly felt very cold, like the devil himself was breathing down my neck, directly against my left side. Looking down, I came face to face with a very angry looking and familiar blue unicorn, whose horn was adorned with a ring-looking object. He was shackled tightly and strapped to something that looked to be there to keep him from hurting himself.

...Did I just blindly stumble my way into Time Warner's court case...?

Shit, I think I did. Time to make a hasty retreat...ha, _Time_.

" _Ssssssorry_ ," I said meekly, backing up slowly out of the room until I could close to door behind me. Once I was out of sight of the ponies in the courtroom, I let out a tremendous sigh and sank down against the wall, my face burning red with embarrassment. How the fuck did I even manage that?! Weren't courtrooms, especiallys ones with criminals with such a long list of charges, supposed to be, I don't know... _guarded?!_

A light snoring to either side of me caught my attention. It was to my great disappointment that I found the guards that should have stopped me, both passed out on either side of the door.

...Right, I tended to do that to ponies. I guess even the _guards_ weren't all safe from the shock that came with seeing me for the first time. What if something actually dangerous was trying to get in? I sure didn't trust a guard that fainted at the sight of a mere human.

They both deserved some sort of punishment, right? Something special, something only I would be able to think of...oh, _duh_.

I dusted off my hands and stood up as I looked down at my handiwork. My first thought was for the left guard to be sleep-mounting the right guard, but that all changed when the fire nation- damn, already said that. Anyway, the right guard turned out to be a mare, which could actually cause some real problems if someone else stumbled onto them. So, the mare ended up mounted on the stallion, a lamp I had found pressed against his backside.

I had found a marker laying around in the lobby, which I then used to write the word _'Peggy'_ across the stallion's face.

Heh.

Still a better character than Peggy Hill.

I continued my walk for a little while longer, trying to ignore the collection of castle maids and... _servants_ , I guess, that were on shift; they had taken to following me around like a little parade. They whispered to each other loud enough for me to hear, even over the squees and giggling sounds the rest of them were making.

"...that really him? I heard..." the rest of what that mare was saying was lost to another _squee_ sound as another group of maids merged into the parade. Why weren't they fainting like the rest of the ponies seemed to do? Were the castle servants _that_ much more emotionally stable than the friggin' _guards?_

At least they seemed happy to see me. A familiar tingling drowned out the looming depression that had been brought forth from my time alone. Making ponies happy made me happy. So I would just need to keep making ponies happy, until...how long was I going to be alive, given that my body was no longer organic?

If the answer to that question was _'forever'_ , then I would very shortly be locking myself in a closet. I didn't want to live forever. Hell, I was barely convincing myself that sticking around _now_ was worth it.

"...glad I started _working here!"_ I heard another mare say, her voice jumping with excitement towards the end. I smirked a little bit, her vocalization of her joy bringing my mood back up to where I would like it to stay. With my heightened mood came a sense of mischief that I hadn't felt since...well, since a few minutes before, when I was mounting a sleeping mare on top of her sleeping stallion friend.

I waited until they grew louder to stop walking. Just as I expected, they hadn't been paying too much attention to my movements, and I felt a bump against my ass. I was still facing away, but I could visualize the look on the offending maid's face just from the gasp she let out. Very slowly, probably agonizingly so for the members of the parade behind me, I turned around to look at them. I came face to face with the single most adorable collection of critters I had ever seen. They were all dressed up in their own maid outfits, some of them even dressed in tiny little tuxedos.

_AWW!_

The crowd stared up at me anxiously, unsure of how I would act, probably still uncertain if I was really me or not. The one who looked the most frightened was the mare who had apparently tried to kiss my butt. Her face was bright red and her pupils were barely even visible anymore. She was a tiny little thing, younger-looking than the rest of my friends. She was a caramel color, with a dark brown mane that was frizzy right in front, but smooth and sleek everywhere else. The front had probably just gotten messy from behind mashed up against my ass.

The hallway we were in went completely silent, the rest of the castle workers holding their breath as I pondered on a suitable punishment for the poor mare that had so foolishly violated my personal space. With a smirk and an evil glint in my eye, I bent down to her and lifted a hand to her face. She closed her eyes tightly in preparation for my vengeance as a gasp rang out from the crowd behind her. A bunch of the other maids covered their faces with their hooves, unable to watch what I was going to do. Some of them even embraced other members and sobbed, mourning the loss of their young friend.

_Boop_

_Scrunch_

The room was silent for a few more moments as the crowd peered up from wherever they had been adverting their gazes to. What they saw didn't register to them at first. The mare was still there, alive, the only sign that something had happened being her scrunchy muzzle and little indent in her nose fur where my finger had been. The poor thing looked up at me slowly, her bottom lip trembling. My heart actually started breaking at the sight of such a cute maid about ready to cry.

So, I did the only thing that I could think of. I picked her up in my arms, treasured the squeak she made, and ran off down the hallways with her tightly secured against my chest.

"This is mine now!" I called behind my back to the confused parade, most of whom were trying to pick their jaws up off of the floor. In my grasp, the mare was silent, but her expression might as well been screaming. Her eyes shot back and forth between me and the hallway, her mouth trying to make sound but failing.

Oh, yeah. I forgot that I could run like the fucking _Flash_. That might have been taking away the poor mare's air, so I immediately slowed down until I was jogging at a mild pace through a hallway that looked almost identical to the one I had just been in. This castle was a fucking maze...waste of space, piece of _awesome_.

As soon as the air around us wasn't being sucked out from the vacuum of motion, the mare took a deep breath and started panting in exhaustion. Welp, I fucked _that_ up already. I just wanted to run around with her a little, maybe tease her. She was the kind of cute little kawaii horse that you just wanted to poke and squeeze like a squeaky toy.

"Sorry...forgot about the running thing. You okay?" I asked. A familiar weight dropped in my stomach, one I had figured out to be guilt. Why did I always do that? I tried to do something fun, but forgot about my magically-super-fucked body thing. Because of my forgetfulness, I had put... _how many_ ponies in potential danger?

_Shit..._

Instead of looking at me fearfully, like I had fully expecting her to, the maid was vibrating and giving me a look of excitement that reminded me a certain pink party pony. It even got to the point that, because she was still hugged against my chest, I had started vibrating as well. Oh, shit, her mouth is open-

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!~" she squealed into my fucking face. Pony spittle flew onto my skin, which didn't bother me that much. The fact that it didn't bother me bothered me more. Fucking ponies and their awesome tongues...

"Ooo...kay...?" I stuttered, my hair blown back from the force of her squee. I couldn't help feeling I had heard an even louder one before, but it was so hazy...maybe it had happened in a dream or something. She just gave me this wide grin that threatened to split her lips.

"It's you it's you it's you it's you it's-!"

"It's me!" I echoed. She just nodded her head in agreement and started humming a happy little song to herself. Maybe it was her way of expressing extreme joy, alongside shouting in faces. I couldn't get a read on this little bundle of cute and crazy. One moment, she was trembling in fear before my mighty finger, and the next, she was spitting on me and humming songs.

What was this girl's deal?

"It's not just you, though, it's...you know, _really_ you!" she continued. Channeling some _serious_ Pinkie Pie, little one. I wouldn't have been surprised in the slightest if the two were somehow related.

"So, it's really me?" I asked. She nodded and hummed louder. "But it's also really you!" Best to fight crazy with even more crazy. That way, if everything is crazy, then somewhere, along the line, _something_ would make sense. After all, crazy can only occur in settings where normal was usually dominant. The maid blinked a few times before crossing her eyes in deep thought. Whoa, had I just blown this pony's mind? If she fainted from what I had said, and not because it was _me_ saying it, I swear...I'd give up trying to understand.

But she didn't faint. Instead, she just got this really cute look of realization on her face and gasped. " _Ooooh_ , I get it!" she squeaked. I didn't know what to say to that, so I just continued watching her, in very much the same way one watches a hand grenade waiting to go off. With a wiggle and a leap, she relocated herself back down to the marble floor of the hallway and grinned back up at me.

"Sooo...what's your name?" I asked, blindly following her as she start walking to who knows where. Another question, another gasp.

"Oh, yeah! I didn't tell you yet. Well...what do you think my name is?" she inquired, smirking up at me with a glint of familiar mischievousness in her eyes. It was almost like....like she was trying to do something _I_ would do to someone I hadn't met before. Well, if she was going to do _that_ , then it seemed to me that I had no other option than to fire back.

"Hmm..." I sighed dramatically, lifted my hand to my chin and looking down at her. She struck an adorable little pose and remained still as I examined her. At least she was seeming more relaxed around me. I couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of having to befriend a pony through my own humor, and not just because I was super famous. But alas, I remembered that she already knew me, and was just being super cute and easy to converse with...in her own way.

Okay, so a name...hints, hints, clues, _whatever_...what did she look like? As I saw before, she was had a caramel coat and a dark brown mane, the latter of which was now completely frizzy from being caught inside my wind tunnel. She was still wearing the same little maid outfit, but it was a lot more messy than it was. Her dress was covering her butt stamp, taking away the biggest clue I could have had.

"Um...Mocha Swirl?" I guessed blindly, my only clue being her color scheme. She just giggled up at me and shook her head, her frizzy mane whipping around.

"Nope! Try again!" she responded. Crap. Hmm...

"Uh...I really don't know...I'm not good at the whole _'pony name'_ thing," I explained to her, my arms crossed. It was a bit warm in the hallway, bringing up a previously unnoticed desire for air conditioning...which probably didn't exist here. Or maybe it did! I'd have to check around and see just what inventions _OtherWorld_ had inspired so far. She just gave me a supportive smile and placed a sympathetic hoof on my thigh. Lewd.

"It's okay, Ryan. I should have assumed that, I mean...our names are _a lot_ different than the ones where you come from," she said a bit _too_ calmly. Ugh, _again_ with ponies knowing so much about both worlds, and myself knowing so little about theirs. I should have watched the show more...and that reminded me that I still needed a better explanation on how the show even existed in my world. Sarah had said something about Lyra's memories leaking into my life, but...I don't know, that seemed a bit shallow of an answer.

"Yeeaah..." I replied simply, prompting another sweet smile.

"My name..." she began. I waited.

"...is..." she continued. Why was she pausing like that? Was she trying to build anticipation?

"..." she got up on her hindlegs, lifting her front ones above her head in yet another dramatic pose. What an adorable little actress.

"Cutie Pie!" she exclaimed proudly, part of her maid outfit falling off. While she scrambled to redress herself with a deep blush on her face, I just jammed my face into my palm and groaned. Great, so she probably _was_ related to Pinkie. That's all I needed, _another_ pony to latch onto my face and suffocate me...or give me diabetes. Why was every single pony I'd seen so far so fucking cute? I was pretty sure that if I had my organic body, I would have died from a heart attack awhile ago. Hell, I didn't have an organic heart and I _still_ got heart awwtacks!

"That...makes a lot of sense, actually," I said solemnly. The little maid looked up at me with a worried expression upon hearing how low my tone had grown.

"Why...?" she asked, her bottom lip starting to tremble. Holy shit, I didn't do that! If she started crying, it wouldn't be my damn fault. She shifted moods quicker than I could blink.

"Oh, nothing bad! Just a certain pink friend of mine..." I told her, waving my hand across as a symbol of _'whatever you were thinking, that's not it.'_ She just tilted her head at me like a puppy.

"Who?" she questioned.

"Pinkie Pie," I stated simply. If I said anything else, I was afraid she would appear to prove whatever comments I made about her. All in all, I didn't want to mess with what made Pinkie... _Pinkie_. I had brought up Pinkie's spontaneity to Twilight a few days ago, but only got a shiver in response. Cutie got a knowing look and smiled wide.

"Ooooh, I know her! She's, like, a hero!" the maid squeaked. Huh, that was a pretty unfamiliar way of putting it. Guess they _weren't_ related, after all. Maybe it was the same way that I wasn't the only human with the last name of Burbank. I wasn't a racist, I swear!

It was then that I noticed that we had continued walking...well, _Cutie_ was walking, and I was just following her around. Damn lack of spatial awareness. Flashbacks from getting lost in Twilight's castle shot through my head. Hey, at least I continued _walking_ this time. Where was she taking me?

"Where are you taking me?" I asked. Cutie Pie just grinned happily and trotted along, an extra little bounce to her step.

"You have to say hi to Princess Cadance! She's here from the Crystal Empire, and from what I hear, she's, like...the **biggest** _OtherWorld_ fan! She would do mean things to me if I didn't have you stop by!" she sang. Geez, this pony was taking my existence awfully well. She didn't even ask how I was alive! Well, at least I didn't have to meet anybody I didn't already know. As futile as Cutie's efforts were, she was no less precious for thinking of the princess.

"Um...okay," I responded. She didn't need to know that Cadance had already met me, almost received oral from me, and got blown into a table by my sneeze. Plus, I needed to head back to the group anyway. I had had enough time to myself and my legs were a bit weak from bullet sprinting.

So we walked.

And walked.

Walked.

Walker Texas Ranger...

 _Of course_ , she hummed a song to herself...the whole time. _Of course_ , the fucking tune was catchy as shit, and as such, got stuck in my head. I hated when songs got stuck in my head! It was like my brain was acting on its own and refused to do what I said.

The castle was too fucking big. Twenty minutes is too long to navigate through a place of residence!

Finally, after what seemed like forever, we came upon a group of ponies standing outside a door. I was honestly not expecting the entirety of my pack to be crowded around in the hallway. What was going on?

Cutie must have been as surprised as I was, since she stopped for a moment, taking in the sight and addressing her options carefully. She seemed to want to help and find out what was wrong, but maybe it was her low status of employment that stopped her. Was she afraid of irritating not one, not two, but _three_ princesses? Probably.

She took a few steps back, eyeing the group of ponies at the door wearily. It seemed to me that she was trying to signal that this was where we would part. Aw...but I had just met her! What good was walking around with cute ponies if I couldn't do it for as long as I wanted? I hadn't even found a way to weaponize her, yet!

"I'm...I'm just going to...get back to work..." she mumbled, pushing her muzzle against my leg but keeping her eyes firmly locked on Sarah, who hadn't even noticed our presence. Ugh, what had Bear done to scare this little cutie? A number of ideas ran through my head, a few of which involving cactuses. Seriously, Sarah, stop scaring every other female in existence!

"Okay...I'll do what I can here. Looks like a job for a fart joke or two...what do _you_ think?" I asked, crossing my arms patiently. Cutie's ears perked up as she noticed I was putting her knowledge of me into question. It did my heart good to see her smile slightly, her eyes crossing in concentration as she made a cute _'I'm thinking!'_ face at me.

"Hnnggg...oh! You should moonwalk behind them and see if they notice!" she squeaked eagerly. The only thing I could do in response was lift a brow at her. I hadn't been into moonwalking for...about three years now. Well, if she thought that would work...

"Okay, here goes~" I sang in a whisper, waving goodbye to her. Before I could get too far, she snagged the bottom of my hoodie with her teeth and pulled back, stopping me in my tracks. I tilted my head down at her, waiting for an explanation. For a few silent moments, she just fidgeted with my hoodie still gripped between her teeth. Finally, she worked up the courage to ask whatever it was she was going to ask.

"C-could...you...oh, this is so stupid...c-... _could you sign this?_ " she finally forced out, whipping out a little bundle of yarn and cloth. The shape was... _vaguely_ familiar. Oh, I _knew_ what it was. It was getting myself to believe that it existed without bursting out into laughter that was the difficult part.

It was a doll of me.

Well, it was _supposed_ to be.

The closest thing I could relate it to would be those action figures you find in dollar stores that look like they're screaming at you to kill them, just to put themselves out of everyone's misery. You _know_ the ones, with the cheap plastic, severely limited articulation and the paint that looks like it was applied with someone's ass. Well, _apparently_ they had products like that in this world, some of them based on me.

The hair was off...and by off, I don't mean the color was a bit different. I mean that the doll was literally bald, and the top of its head was simply painted brown to give the illusion of hair. The eyes...I _think_ they were eyes...just looked like someone stabbed it twice with a marker and let it bleed for a few seconds. There was no mouth. It had to scream. The clothing was very clearly taken from an equine-shaped doll, ripped open, and stitched around the human-shaped limbs. The limbs were all different sizes, and to my vast amusement, there were three legs.

It wouldn't have been so bad if the middle leg wasn't the largest.

What a compliment!

I couldn't help it.

I chortled.

And _oh god_ , the look of complete destruction upon Cutie's face broke my heart into a billion pieces and snorted the dust. This poor little mare was crushed by the sound of my laughter. I didn't mean to laugh!

"Whoa, whoa!" I interrupted, waving my hands frantically in front of her. I needed to hurry, she was already on the verge of tears. Burbank powers, activate! "I wasn't laughing at you, I promise! I just wasn't expecting the...third leg..." I almost pulled myself back into giggles when I said that. Cutie Pie blinked and looked down at the doll.

_Chirp chirp chirp_

_Jeopardy waiting song_

_Ding!_

"OH!" she gasped, her face turning a very dark shade of red. She didn't drop the doll, but she _did_ hold it by something other than it's anatomically correctly-sized dick. Somehow, the group ahead of us _still_ hadn't taken notice of us, even with the outbursts of shame we both kept letting out. I giggled as quietly as I could and took the doll from her grasp.

"Got something to write with?" I inquired. A pen was shoved into my hand, this one looking oddly regal and...probably made of gold. I gave her a questioning look, but she just smiled sheepishly and gave off a _Squee_ sound that echoed down the hallway. Wow, my friends must have been fucking _deaf_. Man, this world and those fucking squeaky duck sounds. I looked down at the doll, rolling my eyes as I spotted the symbolic operator symbol on my hoodie reduced to a Pac-Man outline. Oh, and there was a tag on it that said exactly what I had been thinking.

_Randy - OtherPlace_

Shine on, you piece of shit diamond.

Very quickly, as to not burn myself on the cheapness that was aftermarket knock-offs, I signed my name across the chest...oh, and I also drew an 'X' through the Pac-Man, to make it more legit. The look on Cutie's face when I handed it back to her...every little bit of guilt I had from almost making her cry washed away in a sea of good vibes. She now had one of Equestria's few Ryan-signed plushie! The only others to have one were Fluttershy and some of the other Ponyville ponies. And Cutie's was the only one I personally modded to make better. She had a Burbank Exclusive!

"Go on, show your buddies," I grinned at her. She held the toy in her mouth, her eyes gleaming with wonder up at me. Her tail was even wagging. With one last squeak, she turned tail and ran off to show her coworkers the special edition toy she now owned. Oh, and they probably would have liked to know that she was alive, and I hadn't...you know, _torn her apart_ or anything.

Well, that was heart-achingly cute. Guess it was my time to shine, now. Here goes the moonwa-

"Ryan, there you are!" I heard Fluttershy pipe up as she ran up to me. _Aww_...I had been sorta looking forward to dancing behind them. Even though Cutie's taste in merchandise was questionable at best, she _knew_ me. Moonwalking was an awesome idea. It was just unfortunate that I had been noticed before I could play it out.

Oh well.

"Here I am," I responded, nodding my head and following Fluttershy's lead. She pulled a Cutie and latched onto me with her teeth, in the same spot that was still wet from the last mare to do that. She spat out the hoodie after tasting the opposing saliva, her bright eyes widening and staring up at me in horror. Horror and what I assumed to be jealousy.

"R-Ryan, you _didn't-!_ " she spat as she tried to get the taste of Pie out of her mouth. I just looked down at her, unsure of what was going through her head. Was being dragged around by a mare's teeth the sign of being taken or something? Ugh, cultural differences and shit...

"Uhh... _nope!_ I didn't," I answered her as we walked side by side towards the rest of our friends. Sarah turned her head slowly, finally noticing that I had been moving towards them. Her face grew slightly brighter at my approach, and again, wasn't hindered by the yellow pegasus to my side. Fluttershy kept her head low, sulking over...I don't know, _something_.

The rest of the pack turned to look at me. Well, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash did. Twilight and Candy were both there, continuing to bang against the door and plead loudly through it. I still had no idea what the fuck was going on, so I just stayed quiet and listened in.

"Shiny, please come out and...and _tell me what's wrong!_ " Candy begged, her pink face matted with tears. Her mane was even more frazzled than it had been before, from being tossed across a party hall. Twilight was there, pawing helplessly against the door with her hoof and whimpering. Her horn kept glowing purple and fizzling out, like her magic was being used against something actively blocked magic. I had the strange urge to knock on the door, but...something was telling me _not_ to.

Something about being made of magic made the idea of touching a magic-blocking door seem quite painful.

...And possibly explosive.

"What...?" I asked, unable to verbalize anything further. Pinkie was looking over at me, her mane a bit flat and her face discouraged. Rainbow just looked like she wanted to be somewhere else. Sarah looked almost as uncomfortable as Dash did, but more in the _'I know what I_ could _do, but it's not what I_ should _do'_ kind of way. If it had been up to her, she probably would have just went back to the main hall and did something... _anything_ else. But since Twilight and Cadance were here, crying an almost-literal river, she probably felt like she was obliged to stay and support them.

A familiar tingle shot down me...that ever-loving sense that I seemed to be experience way too often lately: _guilt_. The way Shining Armor had fled the scene before...what he had said was getting to me.

He wanted to know how he was supposed to compete against me, while dressed as me. It had already occurred to me that Candy was probably neglecting him in favor of my show, and he had dressed the way he did as a way of getting some attention back on himself. The poor guy! I couldn't imagine slowly losing Sarah to the powerful allure of a fictional character, only to have that same fictional character show up on my doorstep with vague intentions.

Oh, shit, he might have thought I was into Candy! Being who I am, I didn't really need to _earn_ the affection the pink alicorn showed me, I just sort of _fell_ into it. Shining needed to _work_ for it. If I decided one day that I wanted to taste the pink, what could he do to convince her that he was better?

It was just dawning on me just how tragic and intense the situation had become.

Oh, and Shining, if you killed yourself in there before we could stop you, I'll bring you back from the dead just so you can explain yourself to your wife and little sister!

It was time to act. My Burbank-sense was going nuts and I _needed_ to cheer up the emotionally devastated stallion. After all, it was pretty much _my fault_ he was going through all of this.

"Shiny...please come out..." I heard Twilight whimper. Oh, _hell_ no. Not _my_ purple. That noise of complete misery she made was enough to send my fist hurtling against the wooden door...

...and promptly blowing it off of its hinges.

We all scrambled back, a chorus of yelps and gasps echoing out and reverberating down the interior of the hallway. One of them was slightly more masculine than the others. Curiously, we all peaked into the shadows of the dark room. It was pitch black in there. I don't know if there weren't any windows or something, but I couldn't see a _thing_.

Candy tried rushing in, but I quickly wrapped my arms around her middle and lifted her up off of the ground. Then she made it weird by moaning sexually and shivering, which I responded to by dropping her like the bass. Yeah, there was no way in _hell_ I was _ever_ going to steal Candy from Shining Burbank. It'd probably make him feel better if I told him that myself. Hell, I was probably the only one who _could_ assuage his fears.

Twilight and the other girls looked up at me, all showing signs that they were unsure about what I was doing. I just sighed and ruffled Twilight's mane a little to let her know it was okay. She sniffled and wiped her face on her leg. I guess she didn't want me seeing her in that state. The joke was on her; I loved them all, regardless of exterior snot percentage!

"Let me in! He needs me!" I heard Candy demand weakly as she repeatedly banged her head into my leg. A soft sigh escaped my lips as I looked down at the distraught alicorn. Fresh tears had started streaming down her cheeks, her eyes slightly manic. She was looking into the room, trying desperately to see any sign of her husband. I didn't honestly want to keep her away from him...but I had shit I needed to talk to him about.

"Okay, Candy, just...could I talk to him first?" I asked. The pink princess looked ready to argue about it, but something about my guilty expression told her that I wasn't just shitting around.

"Um...why, though?" she asked hesitantly. My hands slithered their way into my pockets; they had been feeling useless and naked where they had been, just dangling around beside me. I definitely wasn't comfortable talking about this, especially with her, but she deserved at least a fraction of the truth.

"I just...I think this is...I think it's _my fault_..." I sighed, keeping my gaze locked straight ahead, into the black nothingness of Shining's room. The mares around me all made some sort of noise, most of them gasps of surprise. The only different noise came from Sarah, who snorted under her breath. Luckily for her, none of the others heard her. I didn't want yet _another_ attitude problem for the others to hold against her.

"What?! Ryan, _no!_ This is _my_ -" Candy started again, but I gave her a tired look and she stopped talking.

"Just...I'll just talk to him real quick, and then you can go in there and...I don't know, ride him around, or _whatever_ it is pony couples do," I replied, giving her a smirk that betrayed my inner turmoil. She immediately flushed red and her mouth flopped open like a fish. Of course, Dash found that amusing as hell and had to lean her side against the wall to keep herself from falling over. She was laughing _that_ hard, despite the tense atmosphere that surrounded her. Twilight also gasped and blushed at the thought of Candy and her brother getting down with the funk. Fluttershy had a faraway look, even though she was staring right at me. Pinkie was...huh, she was looking at me proudly, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

I guess she was happy I could bring some relief to the situation that she herself could not. Cheer-buddies, unite!

My eyes met Sarah's and she gave me a look that said _'Just get this shit over with, I'm missing valuable time with you.'_

Roger that.

So, while the girls were all being pervs or something, I took a few steps into the dark room. A chill went down my spine as I did so; something about the area where the door had been tried pushing me away. It was more of a tingle than a force though, so I just pushed past it and continued moving into the shadows.

"Shining? Shining...uh... _Amore?_ " I said out into the darkness. I could hear a thump sound behind me that I guessed was Twilight smacking herself in the face with her hoof. Rude. I was completely encased in the dark now, the only thing visible being the doorway I had accidentally removed the doors from. The doors were on the ground, still intact but no longer attached to anything. It occurred to me that Shining probably didn't want to talk with everybody looking at him, so I took a minute or so, picking the doors back up and leaning them against the frame they used to belong to.

While I was doing this, the girls stared at me much like a pack of dogs watching their owner do something. _Apparently_ the act of lifting doors that were _apparently_ a few hundred pound each was impressive to them...or at least to Fluttershy. Her wings were doing that boner thing that Sarah's had done back at Lyra's house. I couldn't blame her though; I must have looked like the world's strongest man. Oh yeah, _I was_.

Anyway, I soon found myself completely engulfed in the shadows. The girls could be seen trying to peek through the crack of the door, but I know they couldn't see anything. The light streaming through the crack was too minuscule to reveal anything.

"Shining? It's Ryan. The girls are really worried about you, I-" I was cut off by a low growl. It was disarmingly feral in its hostility.

"Amore...that's what _she_ calls me...you..." I heard a low, rumbling voice speak from a good fifteen or so feet away. "...you...do NOT CALL ME THAT!" Shining roared in fury, sounding much closer now.

And then I felt something pat my cheek. It was a fairly large hoof.

It took me a moment to realize that it was Shining's hoof, and that pat was supposed to be a punch. I heard his body fall back down to the ground, his labored breathing making me think that he had probably hurt himself. The crack I had heard after the impact also hinted at that. The room went mostly silent, his breathing being the only thing both of us could hear. Also, Candy was freaking out again, but I tuned that out in favor of paying attention to the stallion next to me.

I still couldn't see him in the dark, which made it _that_ much creepier when he started giggling madly.

"Heh...can't even be strong for her...heh heh...haaaa..." he chortled. I took a few steps back away from where I assumed he was, seriously starting to fear for my own safety.

"Dude, what the hell is up with you?" I asked honestly. The giggling stopped, in favor of audible teeth grinding that made me shiver. I _hated_ that fucking sound. It was ten times worse than nails on a chalkboard because it involved _teeth_.

"You...you took her...she's gone...why...why did you take her?" he mumbled. I took another step back from Frothy McPunchalot.

"Took who, _Candy?_ Shining, I'm not trying to take your wife. Seriously, I have _no_ interest in her," I tried to assure him. For some reason, the teeth grinding only got louder. My butt instinctively clenched tighter.

"You...she loves you _so much_...and you DON'T EVEN WANT HER?!" he raged again, but this time without the punching. Instead, he charged his horn at me, his pink aura making the space around him glow brightly. Man, after seeing his face, I could finally appreciate just how much of a _mess_ he was. His eyes had dark purple bags under them, his cheek look swollen from self-inflicted wounds, and he actually _did_ have some froth flowing from his mouth.

The sight of his horn pointed at me brought a bunch of painful memories to the forefront of my mind, making me relive the damage I had caused from having ponies charge me with their magic. I wanted to warn him. I wanted to tell him to stop. I wanted to leap out of the way, before his magic could soak into my body and build up until it found a way to release itself.

But I _couldn't_.

I was _stuck_.

My body trembled, my mind still trying to shut out the memory of Time Warner flying through house after house...the memory of Candy flying across the hall and crashing into that party table...the memory of my body impacting the crystal of Twilight's castle and cracking it.

I...I didn't want to hurt any more ponies.

Why did I keep hurting-

FLASH

The room lit up bright pink as Shining's spell flew towards me like a bat out of hell. It was terrifying in its own kind of feminine way. If I hadn't already been locked up, I probably would have frozen at the sight of the pink bullet flying at me at tremendous speed.

My body didn't move.

I took the bullet.

The last thing I heard before my world went pink was a chorus of gasps coming from the girls, along with a shout of fury from Sarah.

"RYAN!"


End file.
